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THE WASHINGTON TIMES, TUESDAY, FEBRUARY U, 1911. '
10 THE TIMES DAILY MAGAZINE PAGE Fiction and Facts Wit and Humor HENRY HENPEQUE IN A Fix, Tells How He Fired the Cook During a TROLLEY MONOLOGUE LORETTA'S LOOKING-GLASS MR. PEEVED PROTESTS Against a Woman s Staying Home Too Much TO HIS PATIENT WIFE i i T ETTY" sa5d Mr- Peeved, sitting down and picking up his paper, r "I was talking to Jones today about his wife. She seems to go around a good bit more than you do. Keeps up to date in every thing. Made me kind of feel that you were being tied down too much at home." Mrs. Peeved sniffed. "So honey," went on Mr. Peeved, nervously rattling the paper in his hand, "I just made up my mind you ought to go about a bit more. Don't you fret about me. I have a lot of work down at the office I could do evenings if if I didn't worry so about your being home alone." Again Mrs. Peeved sniffed. "Now there's Mrs. Harris," went on Mr. Peeved undaunted. "Why, you haven't been to her house in an age. Why don't you take a run up there tomorrow evening?" "I saw her yesterday," said Mrs. Peeved. "Well how about Nellie Martin? I haven't seen her around for a long time." "I should say not Cat," retorted Mrs. Peeved. Then she looked up thoughtfully. "Jane Terry is giving a bridge tomorrow night," she said. "I'd go if I had a decent waist to wear with my velvet suit" "Well, get one, get one," said Mr. Peeved, "I'm no tightwad when It comes to you, petty. Go to the bridge and I I II finish up my work on the year's accounts." Mrs. Peeved sniffed. "Will it keep you late?" she queried. "Pretty late," admitted Mr. Peeved. "You see, petty, there's a lot of work. But if you're having a good time it will be all right. Women ought to go around a bit. Freshens 'em up. Keeps 'em from a rut. That's the way I feel about it." Mrs. Peeved sewed silently for a moment, then said: "John, you left the tickets for the theater tomorrow night in your other vest I found them there today when I sewed a button on it" To Him That Hath By LEROY SCOTT (Copyright, The Frank A. Munsey Co.) CHAPTER XXXVII (Continued). SOME men aro cowards till the bat tle starts, then they become heroes. When the Mayor and his triumph ant brld radiant, on his arm, paused a moment outside the hall door for the march to begin, he as still the agitated craen. But when he saw within the hall the scores of gorgeous guests and realized that he was the chief figure in this pageant, his spirit and savoir-faire flowed back Into him; and when Prof. Bachmann's orchestra truck Into the wedding march hp Btepped magnificently torward, throw ing to right ar.d left ruddy, benign smiles He bore himself grandly through thfc ceremonj , he started the dancing by leading the grand march with Mrs. Hoffman in his most magnificent man ner, and at the wedding supper, which was served in an adjoining room, he beamingly responded to the calls for a speech with phrases and flourishes that even he had never before equaled. At the end of the supper the party r Bumd dancing, and the Mayor had a chance to paui-e a moment beside David. He swept a huge, white-gloved hand gracefully about the room, and demand ed In an exultant whisper: "Didn't I tell you, friend, that this vti goin' to be the swellest weddln" that ever happened' Well, aln t it?" "It undoubtedly is," agreed David. The Mayor tapped David's shirt front with his forefinger. "It certainly Is the real thing, friend. Nothln' cheap-skate about this, let me tell you. Everything is Just so. Why, did you notice, even the waiters wore white gloves? Yes, sir when I get married. It's done right!" He leaned to within a few confidential inches of David's ear. "And say have jou sized up Carrie? Ain't she simply It' Huh' she makes every other woman In this bunch look like a has-been!" A little later, during a lull in the dancing, the Mayor and his bride, who had quietly withdrawn, suddenly ap peared in the doorway of the hall, hat ted and wrapped. 'Good-by!" boomed the Mayor's mighty voice. "Same luck to you all!" Mrs. Hoffman's linger tips flung a kiss from her cherry lips to the guests, and the Maor's hand gathered a kiss from amid his own glowing face and be stowed It likewise. The guests rushed forwa.d, but the couple went down the stairs In a flurry. Into a waiting car riage, and were gone. The dance continued till early work men began to clatter through the streets for In the supper room was a sufficient supply of cold meats and cake and punch and ices to gorge the guests for a week, and Professor Bachmann had been paid to keep his musicians going so long as a dancer remained on the floor. Bat David slipped away after the bride and groom. When he got home he found Kate Monran sitting by Rogers' side. He looked at her In constraint, and she at him and It was a very uncomfortable mompnt till Rogers announced: "She's going with me." David turned to his friend. There was an exilted glow In Rogers' dark eyes. "What?" David asked. "She's going with me to Colorado." David stured at hlrrand then at Kate, who nodded. "Oh! I 'see'" he said. Kate's features tightened, and she looked at him defiantly. "It Isn't what you think. I offered to marry him, but he wouldn't let me." "What let a woman marry a wreck like me!" exclaimed Rogers. "No, she's going as a nurse. I've begged her not to go. but she Insists." "Why shouldn't I?" Kate asked, still with her straight defiant look full on David. "My father's In an asylum now. Mr. Rogers needs me, he'll be lonely he ought to have some one to take care of him. I know something about nuri lng. Why shouldn't I?" David looked at ner slight, rigidly erect figure, standing with one hand on the back of Roger's chair, and tried to find words for the feelings that rushed up from his heart. But before he could speak she t-ald abruptly, "Good night," and, very pale, marched out of the room. The following afternoon, as David was helping Rogers with the last of the packing for the Western trip, which was to be begun that night, a messenger brought him a letter. Before opening It. he looked with some surprise at the "St. John's Hospital" printed In one corner of the envelope. It read: Dear Sir There has just been brought here, fatally Injured from being run down by an express wagon, a woman whose name seems to be Lillian Drew, Judging fiom a packet of old letters found on her person. As your address was the only one about her, I am sending yoi this notice on the pos sibility that you may be an inter ested party. The note was signed "James Barnes, house surgeon." David's first thought was that Morton's letters had been read and the secret had begun to come out! For a space he did not know whether this was a hope or a fear. On the way to the hospital it was of the glory that would follow the disclosure, and not of the disas ter, that he thought. He saw his name cleared, himself winning his way unhampered Into honor, free to marry Helen he saw a long stretch of happiness In work and love. On reaching the hospital, he was led to a small room adjoining the operat ing room. Here he found Dr. Barnes, a young fellow of twenty-five, shirt sleeves rolled above his elbows, aproned In a rubber sheet, head swathed In gauze. He was beginning to wash his hands at an Iron sink. "Arc you a near friend or rdlatlve?" (Continued on Page Sixteen.) 5 of it wfL ill wlH SHE HOLDS IT UP TO THE GIRL WHO MARRIES FOR MONEY. ONE look In the glass tells the story: You married for money. You sold yourself. The mar riage ceremony was Just a part of the purchase price. To complete the sale you made a lying contract. That lying Is the very head and front of your offending, GIRL, WHO MAR RIED FOR MONEY. But it was the climax of a series of lies. Oh yes. It was. You lied the rich man's fear of being married for his money Into quiescence. No man lives whose dignity vanity, if you will will permit him to marry a girl when he thinks she has no appreciation for him and his character or attractions. No one could ever make me believe that a girl who marries solely for money does not scheme and work and perfect her own sale with every form of lying deception necessary to make the man believe that she Is marrying him for himself. Men are not fools, even if women will Insist on saying they are. You pretend to love him. Or you Inspired him and the Inspiration had to be a very definite one, too with the idea that a closer acquaintance, a fuller knowledge, would make you love him. You accepted his orchids and Ameri can beauties In a way that made htm thjnk you appreciated the giver more than the gift. You deliberately blinded l'lm to your real Interest, the anticipa tion of appearing decorated with the rarest flowers the market affords. You made him think that you liked to go out to dinner or to the opera because of your pleasure in his society. You care fully disguised that your Joy really came from showing off as captive to your charmsm a man conspicuous and desired because of his wealth. Oh, you were a consummate actress. You played your role to perfection. If ou had not .dulled your finer sensibili ties, you would blush and shrink now as you face yourself in the glass. You would remember the series of lies by which you led up to the climax, the co lossal lie of your marriage. And you would see yourself the Ignoble love Ubeler, the blaspheming marriage dese crator that you are! Insulting you? It Is not your own fault that truth is an insult to you? How dare you talk of insult? What have you don to your sex? You have Insulted It. You have degraded It You have made of the most sacred contract a garment to cover the nakedness of your soul. You have sold yourself for money, and dared to use the mar riage ceremony to legitimatize your de spicable sale. You have desecrated the shrine, and you want still to be admitted to Its sacred privileges. Why, the woman who sells herself without the marriage ceremony has not your sin to her discredit. Feared Something Would BY. Mrs. Worry HaPPen c. a. voight Drawn for Th Time. Hron 70MW "fOO " I OH "THM'3 M.L R6HT A SPOSe NOU WERE HIT DONT WORRIT MAve Thole IW 1 f DON'T WORRX OVER V1 AN AUTO - IT WOULD f .-,, BE LU . ,1 -VoTm sor -L M tlTTLE THING LIKE THAT E t-M EVER. LAVTINfr ( V RlCUT- PLerJT'evi'lV 'M N HORU-f-y DSCUACE - THINK OF L I(,HT J PLEASE CHftUtC EMy V -. S V. OUP. POO& ) f fOW I KNOW OMETHINSn 1 ill I " -,.." f 1 It I I II SOIrJG TO HAPPEW TO 1 A I 1 KNEW IT'-' ) j I I 70HM - OH WHV OlOW'TJ ' ( IT'S TOHN AMD v iy I IHECHANCE HiSSOUi? ill I HE-' HURT ( ?4&s. 11 (70HW: A SAFE FBLlA M ( M so V virzj ( ow m heap UM zr Ai aVJ dop " V VjicEV1 J Tun & .-fflfe: ( GLAP POSE yf fc- TT- 2- jOS& 1 SfS J T wo fallen)- t3e iC 13 ill vD H-TO FOOT? ii Q AY, Bilkins, that canned soup ad. up there reminds me of some thing. Do you happen to need a cook? Well, do you know any body that does? I'm in a sort of fix, and I've simply got to find somebody that needs a cook before next Monday. "I've discharged sort of discharged our cook. My wife told me asked me to, because she caught her tasting the soup with her fingers or something and it's up to me to do It. So I've sort of discharged her. "You know I hate a fuss. I'd rather have a boil on my neck than a fuss. So I asked my wife to fire her herself. " 'Lillian,' I said, 'you'd better discharge her. You're a woman and know what to say. You discharge her.' "But she told asked me to do it, and I did it at breakfast this morn ing, sort of. I went about it very carefully, for If there's anything I hate it's a fuss. And now I'm in a sort of fix. You're sure you don't know anybody that needs a cook?" ."Our cook's a great big woman; just the kind that loves to make a fuss, you know, and besides, I was perfectly satisfied with her myself. But Lillian . " 'Norah,' I said, 'I understand that Mrs. Henpeque is displeased -. ith you.' "She didn't say anything. If she had only said something it might have been easier, but she just put one elbow on the table and stared at me. A great, big woman, she is. " 'Yes,' I said, 'I believe Mrs. Henpeque is quite displeased with you. I believe she saw you put your finger I didn't finish that, though, come to think of it I hate a fuss! " 'Norah," I said, 'the fact is, I wanted to raise your salary to $7 a week, but Mrs. Henpeque wouldn't hear of it So, rather than pay you less than you are worth, I've gone and got you another job at $7 a week. It's to start next week.' "Here's F street. Are you sure, Bilkins, you don't know anybody that needs a cook?" AA tiVVVM'VWVViV'i'VW Sandman Stories For Just Before Bedtime MVWWWAAAAAAAAAAA SNOWBALL ADOPTS MIDNIGHT. TV7ELL," Ba,i Snowball, as we Iook- V ed nut nf Annrn. "this Is certain ly pretty bad weather. I think I had better put on my sweater If I am going into the city with master this morning." And Snowball was right; it was bad weather, for, neither snowing or rain ing, It was doing a little of both, and everything was covered with a glare of slippery, treacherous' Ice, and It was unusually cold. Kit and Puff looked with amazement when Snowball came out with the red collar of his sweater drawn as far as It would go up around his neck, completely covering his con lar and partly covering his face. "You are not going In town a morn ing like this?" they asked as Snowball started toward where the team was standing. "O yes," said Snowball. "I'm no fireside cat like you and some of the old tabbies around here. When I have work to do I don't let a little Ice and a little cold weather drive me under the stove," and, flirting his tail saucily, he jumped up on the seat of the wagon to wait for his master. In town there were a number of long waits while goods were being bought or delivered, and one of the longest of them was In a part of the town where Snow ball did not remember of having ever been before. The hcuses were tumble Me jumped upjjPEl w intciwi .'fH 'ssa OF THE WflGON Mj&JJWi I down In appearance, with here and there a blind swinging loosely on one hinge, and not a few windows from which the glass h?d been broken. "This must be the slum district," said Snowball to himself, "and I suppose there mav be some pretty tough char acters round about here. I shall have to keep a sharper watch than usual to see that nothing Is stolen from the wagon." While he was walking about trying to watch both sides of the wagon at once he heard a faint "Meouw" from the ground, and going over to that side of the wagon from which the sound seemed to come, he saw the most dis reputable little black kitten that he had ever seen. His little body was so small and poor that his head looked two sizes too large for him. and his eyes were all watery with tears as he looked up at Snowball and meouwed again. "What's the matter, kitten?" said Snowball; "why don't you go home, where It's nice and warm, and get some thing to eat; you lcok hungry?" "I am hungry." said the kitten, "but I ain't got no home." ' How's that?" said Snowball. "Looks like there's plentv of houses round here to taku care of one small kitten like you." "Yes, there's plenty 0f house?," said the kitten, "but thev won't let me stay fiE LOOKED UP AT (SffOVYBfUX HMD nSVYXD HGfllfi In anv of them, and I haven't had any thing to eat for e-er so long." Little by little Snowball learned the story of the kitten, how he had be longed to a little girl who had tired of playing with him and how he had been put out of doors to Shift for himself and what a hard time he had of it i'i the storm. "Well," said Snowball, "when master comes back I'll see what we can do for you. Walt around a while." When his Master was about to jump on the team Snowball stopped him ami called his attention to the little kitten and told him the story he had jusi heard. His Master agreed with Snow ball that something ought to be done and as it was about lunch time the agreed to take the kitten onto the wagon and carry him along to the place where Snowball got his usual saucer of milk When Snowball got his milk the little kitten got .a saucer too, and he ate i1 as If he had never had anything so good before. "Tastes pretty good, don't It?" said Snowball as he smoothed his moustache after he had finished. "Won't you have a little more," The Kittle said he would and finished another saucer almost as quickly as he had the first one. While the kitten was drinking the second saucer Snowball was over In the corner talking with his master and as the kitten finished Snowball said to him: "I have decided to take you along with me to my home out In the coun try If you would like to go." The kit ten was quick to say that he would, and so Snowball helped him to get up on the seat of the wagon, his master took a corner of the horse blanket and wrapped around him and so with Snow ball close beside him. Midnight. fo that was what Snowball had alreadv named him. because of his blackness, rode out Into the country to his new home. Tomorrow's story "Lazy Gray" Minnie (Mrs. Amos) Makes Pete's .cpuaintance Drawn for The Times By Sherman MAYBE VOUO BETTF.R.1 WMT DOWN 5TA1R5 WHILE I TELL THE J WIFE ABOUT "YOU WW I k l WJM&'T (T"! !' r- s'j"L&l''' (HEY' LET A f ONUY 51X " WOUR .WE SEEMS WMjm TN yJfts fDEAR HEAKr) J& l?o nrwil MORE FLOORS UmPRl&D awos.-J sT - mSM L' mk ?Sa ..:.Cz S-Ey ftwos dear.. UMMJwA4roK& WMffl. 5V VX LITTLE SU - WV v V"1-- J y ' rfcxJ$NrlW fMm W h'j PRISE POR (THE1 SURPRISE T f AEt3ftNT? (VKk, ) ... i- --. kf i& 4t- .j-i. a i -rtfctor-- ."fiA -s Jt-tftu a r J" - j.f. . . . V aai'gi3teft&feU&. it .ifesaKfcai&., 1-iJkSi!,.