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THE WASHINGTON TIMES, FKIDAY, FEBRUARY 17, 1911, " 10 Wane Humor THE TIMES DAILY MAGAZINE PAGE Fiction -and" .Facte MR. PEEVED PROTESTS Against All Women's Superstitions and Fears TO HIS PATIENT WIFE NICHOLAS NEWPOP'S LORETTA'S LOOKING-GLASSI SHE HOLDS IT UP TO THE GIRL WHO HAS AN IDEAL MAN Kid and the Barber Described in a P TROLLEY MONOLOGUE -4 V S . jkiin JOHN." auavered Mrs. I I libra - I ji library, "I'm so worried iust can't bear even rnnM hoar to think of what?" asked Mr. Peeved. "Go on, petty, I'm no mind-reader." "You know," said Mrs. Peeved, furtively wiping her eyes, "the bridge club meets here tomorrow night, and and this morning I inadvertently put my right shoo on first. And you know that's horribly bad luck, and I'm s s sure something will happen and everything be horrid." "Ha, ha," snickered Mr. Peeved. "Oh youl if that ain't just like a woman. Scared of a right shoe! Bosh! What's the use of being superstitious? You never see me running fronasigns or dodging ladders, do you? Women are all fools anyway, but that's the worst: to be scared of a shoe! "Forget it, petty, forget it; it's bad luck enough to have to have a lot' of gabbing women here without borrowing trouble." Mrs. Peeved sniffed and wiped her eyes again, then asked: "Are you coming home tomorrow night for dinner?" "Of course," said Mr. Peeved with some irritation, "I'll come and break the hoodoo for you. I'm not going to be turned out of my house by a bridge party. Nix." He took a cigar, lighted it and picked up his paper, then ho paused, glanced doubtfully at his wife and asked: "How many women are there in that club?" "Three tables," said Mrs. Peeved, calmly, "just twelve of us." "And you expect me! ME! to come home tomorrow night?" he asked; then as his wife glanced up he thumped the table with his fist. "That's almost murder, woman," he shouted. "Murder 1 You want me to come and be the thirteenth at the table. Want me to fly in the face of fate! I won't do it! Do you hear? I won't do it!" To Him That Hath By LEROY SCOTT (Copyright. The Frank A. Munsey Co.) CHAPTER XXXIX. IN five minutes the ions, heavy ex press was due to pull out of the station and go lunging west ward through the night. Kate's and Rogers" hand luggage was piled In Kate's seat, and across the aisle and a little ahead, in Rogers' seat, were the two travelers, side by side. Facing them sat David and the Mayor, the latter just back from his brief honeymoon, and standing in the aisle was Tom. . , "Well, got everything you need for the trip?" asked the Mayor, in tones that filled the sleeper. "There's enough in our trunks and in those bags" Rogers nodded backward toward Kate's scat "for a trip to the moon. Aldrich, tried to buy out New York." , , "There's nothing like having too much," declared the Mayor. "Oh, say there captain," he cried to the porter who had Just brushed by. "See here!" The porter turned back. "Yes, suh! There was even more than the usual porterly deference In his manner, as he Instantly measured the authority In the Mayor's florid person and took note of the silk hat and the Imposing beflow ered vest. "Yes, suh!" "These here two people are friends o' mine. You want to see that they get everything that's comin" to 'em, and a few more besides. Understand?" "Yes, sun'" The Mayor, with some effort, got into and out of a trousers pocket, and held forth a dollar. "If you ain't bashful, take that, and stick it some place where your willing ness'll know you've got It. There's no bod '11 treat you as white as a well tipped nigger." he added, as the porter passed on. He leaned forward and laid r hand on Rogers' knee, his smiling face really brilliant under the Pintsch light. "Jut as soon as you get your bellows mended and some meat on your bones, I m goin' to write you a letter handln" ou some straight advice " The edge of his glance slyly took in Kate. "No, I ain't goln' to wait. I'll tell you now and be In the price o' the stamp. Friend -get married'" Kate rose abruptly, walked back to her seat and began to fumble about the baggage. The Mauir nodded his head emphati call "There's nothln' like it!" The cr. "All aboard!" sounded through the car. and thev rose. The iravor said good-by, and after him Tom. Then David took Rogers' thin hand. The two men silently gazed at each other for a long moment, each rea'lzed he might never again look Into the other's face. 'Good-by. old man," breathed David, Pete Takes a Sponge ...4-...'.--7 Peeved, as she came into the I don't know what to do. I to to think of it. gripping his hand. "I hope it's going to be as you hope. God knows you de serve it!" Rogers' large eyes clung to him. "I've never had a friend like you!" he said slowly. Good-hv and if It's to be the long good-by, then well, good-by!" He broke off. then added: "You're going to trv to help rhange some things we both know are wrong. Never forget one thing the time to reform a criminal is be fore he becomes one. Save the kids. God bless you' ' The car slowly began to move. They gripped hands again, and David hurried back to Kate, whom the mayor had just left, and who was saying good-by to Tcm. David took her hand, but on gaz ing Into her dark eves and restrained face, it rushed upon him anew how much Joy she had brought him and how much misery he had given her and sud denly he was without a single word to sav farewell. "Good-by," she said with a forced calmness. "Forgive me!" he burst out in a whis per. "Your heart will tell you what I'd like to tell you. Forgive me! Her head sank forward In affirmation. "But you've done nothing." There was no time to reply to that. "God bless you, Kate! Good-by!" he cried in a low voice. He ran out of the rapidly moving car and swung himself to the platform unconscious that Kate's eyes had followed him to the last. He Joined the mayor, and together with Tom they walked out of the sta tion and into the street, talking of the friends they had Just left. But the mayor, who had met the party at the station, and consequently had not had a confidential word with David, was bubbling with his own affairs, and he quickly left Kate and Rogers to travel their way alone. "Friend," he said, with Joyful sol emnity, slipping his arm through Da vid's "I'm the biggest fool that ever wore pants!" "Why'" "For not lettin Carrie marry me be fore." "Then you're happy?" "Happy'" A great laugh arose from beneath the mayor's vest, and he gave David a hearty slap on the back. "Yes, sir! Happy that's me! Yes, sir." he went on, after they had boarded a car, "I've got only one thing agin" Carrie, and that Is that she didn't rope me in before. Say, she's all right she's it. No, slree, friend, there ain't nothln' like gettln' married!" The mayor continued his praise of his present state till David and Tom bade him good-night and left the car. As they walked through the cross street a sense of loneliness began to settle upon David; so that when Tom slipped a (Continued on Page Sixteen.) Bath and the Water COMB, look In the glass a moment. You are too busy contemplat ing that Ideal man. You created him out of your dreams to suit yourself. In the mean time you have not studied your own personality "What art ou. what have you," that you ask so much or the man you will marry? Pretty? Yes, you are. And you are entertaining, a bit conceited, slightly overappresiative of your looks and your traits. And you are sentimen tal. The ideal man must be a picturesque lover. And he must be good-looking r.nd well-educated. Oh! you have him perfectly pictured; and the real man who wins you must bo just like your ideal. Of course, the fact that you cannot crder intelligently docs rot affect your having this man made to order. And the fact, too, that you have set yourself up on a pedestal as a kind of prize to the ideal man when he comes ts too insignificant to mention. It does betray an amount of self-satisfaction that could be dispensed with and leave "Friday" Cure r as usovc: - 7i t "scr y- , WHERE I CKJ 1 OCT Te BOSS TO ADVANCE 2M GATHER CNOOCH 1 I NB A FEW BCANS7IU J , , rift KAtt POR. THE Y (TOMOgW.';r- ' ' ft;-. fTP EATIN6S J, "-V t Jfe J & f mS I vi ( r r L-a3t ffcoss i? I 1 hff s C CUT HOLD HENRV.'A fS' If SHALL I TOUCH HIM,") GOCSS IV BETTER NOT.I j OR SHALL I NOT? ( -T THif bos gave yih i l ( J r-"" 1 ME A CALL FOR.77v-r I 3 not saving Mf yyw HI V " 'III MOWEVAMP J-CCf I a JP" Iff HAMIN6TO fWQCfX III " T ftfK" MOMCROOS ', X. . - .-""- S "1 f-"es,7lST a -s. f HERE GOeS f (?) I . 0UATeR, CASS IDS , IF I LOSE MN ) ZJ ,'LL RETURN IT J JOB .'!! AA I X "1 ItoWORROWJ- a- iirr , i ' i """T ' ' ' irTr . i Jw " ' "t" you a much more lovable girl. But wo will not regard that. i When you are demanding so much of a man, do you never won&er If It is quite fair? Does the Idea never come to you that men are amazingly satis factory, all things considered? Do you ever speculate as to whether you, subjected to the same wear and tear, the same business competition, the same insidious spirit of the times which you sometimes help to voice that demands success at any price, would not be a good deal worse than the men? When Pay Day Is Here How Is It You're Broke? Drawn lor Th Time. - --- V--.o !tejJ., - Vt - - 1 ! n i i i r No, it never occurs to you to look at things as they are. You are going to Bee them as you wish them to be. You, a comparatively embroyonic creature, scarcely more than promising, certainly not yet developed, sit back and demand certain things of the man who aspires to you. Why do you not think what you can give? No, you Just assume that you are more than worthy of this Ideal man you want. Are you? What can you do? You can not conduct a home. Oh, yes, you think you can. Suppose he thought he could conduct a law practice. Would you take him on the strength of his thinking? No, Indeed. He must show you that his Is the success you demand. Yet you expect him to take you, trust ing to some sort of legerdemain that you will know how to do what you have never learned thoroughly. And you think he gets good measure. He does not. He gets an experimenter in the dangerous stage of experimenting. The idea of your daring to demand anything of a man! The absurdity of you, unprepared, undeveloped, untried, setting up a standard for him! BY C. A. VOIGHT Drawn for The Times - - 'f' 'n--&ttfc7. ho. "Y OU should have been had my kid over at the barber's to have his hair cut. You never saw anything like it. "He's a regular circus, no matter what he's doing, you know, but when he gets his Hair cut, it's a scream from start to finish. Three rings and the sideshow thrown in! " 'What do I have to get my hair cut off for, popper?' he says, 'it'll only grow out again, won't it?' "Grow out again! Oh, say! "And Jenkins, it's worth a five dollar note to see what a time that barber has to make that kid sit still. Wriggle! He's an eel I The barber told him, just to scare him, you know, that he'd lose an ear if he didn't stop wiggling. " 'Oh, that's all right,1 he says, 'the colored boy'll find it when he sweeps up the hair.' "I never saw a barber laugh so hard in my life. "And then he started imitating the sound of the scissors, Click! click! you know. Upon my word, Jenkins, the harbor got so nervous that he almost dropped his shears. "Every time the barber'd work the scissors, the kid would say 'click!' and after a while he took a pencil out of his pocket and began tapping the buttons on the barber's coat with it.. I never saw anything like it in my life! "Finally the barber got mad. I suppose he's one of these men that don't understand children. " 'Do that once again,' he yells, 'and you can go home as you are! What do you think I am, anyhow?' " 'I think you're a barber,' says the kid. 'What are you?" "Solemn as a judge, too. Jenkins, you don't know what you missed! 'I think you're a barber,' he says. "Thought he was a barber! Well!" Sandman Stories For Just Before Bedtime fSil0'm YOUNG ROBIN'S IT was spring time In the South when Young Robin said to his bird frlen.ls one day, "I am going North tomorrow. ' "Going North tomorrow?" they Ques tioned. "Why, the snow has not melted yet and the rivers are all icy and the ground is all frozen and the buds have not appeared and everything is bleak and wintry. You should wait until the first of us are ready to fly northward and go with us." Robin made no argument with them, but when he was by himself he said. "That was just what I wanted them to say. I don't want them to fly North with me. I would raher be alone so I can pick the best place for a nest and I can have all the big, fat worms for myself, and I will be the first robin cf the season and everyone .vlll admire me." You see. Young Robin was led to fly away not br anv good motive, but because he was selfish and wanted to get the best there was all for himself. On the following day he smoothed all his feathers, and having eaten a very hearty breakfast of worms and sonw crumbs which he found in a nearby y8rd, he set out for his flight. The first day he did not fly very far. and when It came night he was not yet out of that part of the country where It was still warm, and he found a good manv robins to keep him company for the few hours before he went to sleep. When they asked him where he was go ing and he told him that he was on his wav north they were much surprised, and cautioned him about getting too far from where the sun was bright and warm and the ground free of frost. But Young Robin in his selfishness thought he was wiser than they, and early the next morning was on his way again without even stopping to say good-by to the friends with whom he had spent the night. "For," said he, "perhaps if I stopped to say good-by some of them would decide to go with me, and I would have to divide the worms and all the other things that are waiting for me." The second day of his flight was not quite so comfortable as the first had been, and toward night he began to feel a little chilly and missed the warm rays of the sun. "But I won't mind a lltle cold." he said to himself alone In a tree. "I have plenty of feathers." When he awoke the next morning he was shivering and it took him some time hopping about before he got all that he wanted to eat, for the worms were pretty scarce and the ground was rather frosty for his tender feet. At last, however, when the sun was up he flew away, still headed northward. Early In the afternoon the clouds be gan and pretty soon they covered the sun. And not long after .that he began to see white things thiit looked like feathers floating through the air, and - - . - - with me an hour ago, Jenkins. 1 W 4 SELFISHNESS. although he tried to fly above them, the higher he flew the thicker the curious feathery things got until thev almost blinded him and he was not sure in which direction he was flying Finally, he began to get frightened, for the air was so Uiick that he could not see the sky above him nor the ground beneath. "I guess that I had better fly down." ne slid, "and And out where I am, for I mnnnt rm an.,Kin . t- . sides, I am getting altogether too cold to be comfortable." So dipping his wings he slid down through the snow , ..,. .u ,.uc tti uij. v nun ne grot near enough to see what was below he ... ""' "c v13 uvr a great rorest Whlnn Sttmtnhart no fa no u ,j in every direction. ine trees were all covered with the snow which was falling, and Young Robin had never seen a sight so unin viting nor a place which promised s.. little comfort to a lonesome bird i wish I was back home," he began I" think. "I wish I was where it was met rVYA3 THAT Tj-re- mnt t,t- ." flSKPllflv X,' 2 l"eMf. - '" "tTKJintK RQBirj fc -"525 'sS and warm, and where I could get i good supper, but I certainly cannot fly any farther tonight." He flew down between the trees to th ground, but when he alighted his feet sank Into the snow almost up to hu body. "If I sleep in this snow I will surely freeze my feet," he said, and he oegan hunting for some place where the snow had not gathered. At last In the end of a hollow log he found a place free from snow and hopped In, very much discouraged and very lonesome and hungry. He pecked at the snow but it made a pretty poor breakfast and after the sun was well up he flew through the trees and started southward. As the air be gan to grow warmer he knew he was getting back toward where the robbins he had left were still living and he began to be ashamed when he thought of the selfish motives which had led him to leave them and go northward by himself. On the e-enlng of the fourth day he came in sight of the place whero all the robins he knew lived and, al though he dreaded to see them, he was so tired that he flew down and alight ed on a tree where three or four of his friends were already half asleep. Tomorrow's btory: Learns Wisdom." "Jack Rabbit - . By Sherman cVJ?JrWSF' y x I r