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The WaskingtoniT i m'e-s Ma g,a zj re,, Thursday, May 18', 1 9 T 1
Amos Butt-In's Family Has Moved So Has Pete's
Drawn for The Washington Times
By C. L. Sherman
I DONT THINK I CAN
STAND TO MOVE--
GE.1 THE PUPS PAULIN&
ND COiE- WITH ME-T
I nONT RFMEMBER. IIPROBABCT GLA&& OR.
MARKING ANYTHING ICHlNft. I'LL CARRY ,T.
9 - - ) J-g"-TJ - - -
ONE- MORE FLIGHT AT-IOS j
NOW OPEN T AND WELl
SEE WHAT JT lfc.
i ili. ui ml
THE TRIO DISCUSSED
la View of a Re
By PEGGY VAN BRAAM
HE husband, the wife and the other out of that
trio has grown tragedy since the beginning of the
world. Sometimes the third one is a man, more
often it is a woman, but the shadow that grows
out of the combination of "I, thou and the other
one" spreads its bleakness over homes north,
south, east and west, wherever you may turn.
And from each story told in murder and di
vorce trials there rises always the inevitable ques
tion, whose is the sin? Whose the crime and upon
whom should the punishment fall5
There is, for instance, a young wife over in
New York for whom the whole world of women
has sent forth sympathy; a wife who learned, while
she was planning to go to Ireland that the baby soon to come into
the world might be born upon the Emerald Isle, that the little child
would be fatherless because her husband was planning to desert her
for another woman. She shot him when she found she had lost
his love and made no defense to the police, asking only that punish
ment come to her swiftly.
Her story, her suffering and the questions as to whether her
crime was justified have started a controversy that is still sweeping
across the country.
But how about the other woman? Is there no sympathy for
ber? No momentary pity for the lonely woman who is dishonored
in the eyes of the world, mourning for the dead man and for her
lost dreams, and haunted, too, by the fact that h was her love that
wrecked his home and brought death to him?
That is the other side of the picture, isn't it? And of the three,
who was to blame? The husband whose heart went astray, the girl
wife who, in a wild fit of jealousy, shot him. or the third woman who
accepted his attentions, at first believing him unmarried, and then
when she learned he had a wife, loved him too well to give him up?
Then, too, what does the wife or husband gain by it? What
does the wife gain if she shoots the other woman? What does she
gain if she shoots her husband1 What- does the man gain by killing
his unfaithful wife or her lover?
If revenge is all they seek, sentiment and the "unwritten law"
should not be dragged into it If it is love which prompts the act,
love should also stay their hand, and, after all. has the man or wife
a. right to consider personal happiness when there are little
children to be thought of, and the question of the honor of the name
their son6 and daughters bear to be remembered?
That is the side of the question that the women want brought
forth now; let us hope they will succeed in making home greater
than a question of love, unlikely as it seems.
MR. PEEVED PROTESTS
"Say no more about Jt." commanded
Mr. Peeved. "You'll get no more of
my hard earned money for fool
eucher prizes, and that's all there Is
to It. I grave you money enough to
buy prizes for an army, and you're
at it again. Confound It. Mrs i and you can give that
Peeved, do you think I'm a mint?" ! serving person."
knowingly brought home a shirt yet
that didn't look well on me."
"0,h, I don't doubt that It was a.
mistake, but as long as It's not re
turnable, what can you do?"
"Oh, I'll get another one tomorrow,
to some da-
"No, John," replied his wife, meek
ly, "but the money you gave me was
nly enough to buy the first and sec
ond prizes, and now I haven't any
third prize. The ladles"
Enter the Shirt
"Hang the ladles!" retorted her
husband. "If two prizes aren't enough,
call off your old eucher. Now. that's
the last of It! Let's change the sub
ject to something cheerful. Did you
Bee that peach or a shirt I brought
"No," said Mrs Peeved, and Mr.
Peeved hurried upstairs to get It.
"H'm!" commented Mrs. Peeved,
when he had brought It down. "H m'"
"Well, what does that mean?" de
manded Mr Peeved. "H'm, fiddle
sticks! If you don't like the shirt
don't hesitate to say so. I always
have told you I'm open to fair criti
cism." "I'd never have selected it," ad
mitted his wife.
"Why wouldn't you? It's a $3 dol
lar shirt, and the salesman told
"Is It returnable?"
"Why-er-no; as a matter of fact,
they don't take anything back at
that store. But the salesman told
"That's Just tbq trouble with you."
Interrupted Mrs. Peeved. "You take
Whatever the st..sman tells yoif for
gospel. Now - reality, blue never
did become you and you .know it.
You look exactly like a carpenter or
something In blue. I'll never say you
have good taste again."
He Meant Well
"Blue!" ejaculated Mr Peeved, try
ing tp appear surprised. "Is that
shirt blue? I could have sworn,
down at the store, it was green. I
flatter myself that I have never
Mrs. Peeved said nothing, but after
a while she surreptitiously marked
"third prize" on a card ar... slipped It
In the box with the shirt.
Was Her Name
She always comes at lunch time.
She always smiles the same;
I always take' her out to lunch
Miss Fortune was, her name.
It happens everr payday.
Now. tell me who's to blame?
I always sign the lunch check
Miss Fortune was her name.
"Captain," exclaimed the young
wife on her first tropical voyage, "if
my husband comes on deck tell him
I am taking a siesta. You know
what that means?"
The bluff old captain looked some
what bewildered, but he bowed cour
teously and made the promise. , Some
minutes later the husband came up
"Captain " he called, "have you
seen anything of my wife?"
"I have, sir," responded the old
salt, "an' she told me to tell you.
that she Is taking a sou'wester."
Saved By a Word; .
Or, Slain In Boston
Why do the hurrying throngs has
ten in Brim procession along the
broad Boston boulevard? There has
been an accident!
"What has occurred?" query the
J&, JjbS A WTT
spectacled street gamins of one an
other. "Has some unspeakable scoun
drel split an Infinitive or is It merely
Ah, 'twas merely a murder. A
thoughtless chauffeur had run down
and killed a pedestrian.
Back! Back! Make way for the officer!-
"You've ran that man down!" ac
cused the policeman 'person.
"Do you mean I have RUN him
down?" sneered the chauffeur, and the
policeman fell back In ashamed hor
ror. He couldn't arrest the fellow
after making a break like that! Shud
dering, the crowd shrank away from
him, and the chauffeur, laughing de
moniacally, honked off to freedom.
By JAMES H. HAMMON
Drawn for The Wuhlnjton Tint.
Ichabod Wasn't That
Kind of a Goat
Err" OOVE! HERD'S fi,
GUY IN ATLANT
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THAT'S OUST THE. 008
FOR. I C HA80D - US.
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MAMIE TELLS BELLE
The Fellow That Blows His Own
Horn Is Heard the Farthest, and
IT'S BAD TO BE TOO MODEST
r 7 y
AVEY this, Belle, it makes me feel sort of as if
I'm in a foreign country to pick up the papers
nowadays and not find so much as a column about
Roosevelt. Thank goodness, I don't know much
about politics, Belle, but I cert'nly do love that
man. I think everybody but the trusts and their
fam'lies have got a sneakin' affection for Roose
velt, though some people'll deny it, just to to be
And do you know how he 'did it, Belle? Do
you know his twen'ieth century method o bein'
first in the hearts of his countrymen? Just blowin'
his own horn, that's all, Belle. Whether he's a
great man or not. he's got a fixed idea he is. and
he made so much. noise tryin' to prove it that now everybody else
thinks he is.
I don't say Roosevelt ain't really the prize pumpkin, Belle, on'y
no matter what the p'fessors say, in this funny world you're ac
cepted at your own valuation, and many a lead dime has got into
big print because he knew how to make a noise like silver.
Bluff a Little; It's Good For You
Modesty's one o' the most desirable little qualities in life's de
partment store, but if you know what's good for you, Belle, don't run
it into the ground. It's Ii'ble to pull you in after it The fellow
that tells his girl he knows he ain't good enough for her is runnin' an
awful chance. He doesn't b'lieve it himself, but she might; and
though it may seem unreas'nable, when a girl' lookin' for some
body to pay the rest of her expenses through life, she likes to have
the satisfaction o' bein' able to brae that she got -the biggest bundle
I in the matrimonial grab bag.
vna tne gin ougnt to give a nttie toot once in a wniie, too,
just to be sure she hasn't forgotten how to T)low. It may make
her feci like an illustration to Robert W. Chambers' latest when he
whispers that he loves her for herself alone, but if she's wise she
won't harp too much on the fact that her cookin' ability consists o'
makin' burned molasses candy and that her experience in bein'
economical is limited to savin' up for matinee tickets.
And it ain't enough to refrain from apologizin' for your short
comin's, Belle; every time you see a hole in the conversation, jump
right in with both feet and do a song and dance about what a clever
little fellow you are. And in the absence of expert testimony, as the
papers report it, people'll take you at your word and tell their friends
there's really more to you than they thought at first. You have
no idea what pre'tty music your own horn makes. Belle, when you
learn to play it right.
She Holds It Dp to the Bargain Counter Brail
THAT Is the sixth dressmaking cat- I that this Insertion Is pressing In upon
WAR NEWS FIFTY YEARS AGO TODAY
May i8, :86i.
Advices from Texas say that Colonel Van Dorn has suc
ceeded in causing the surrender of the remaining Federal
troops in that State. It Is also asserted that Texans in con
siderable numbers will most probably appear on the fron
tier of the State to defend It against Incursion.
McClellan to Command
Western Army Division.
Richmond hears that Oeneral McClellan. of Cincinnati,
has received a lelepram from Washington announclnc "Is
appointment as niujor general In the United States arnij.
ranking next to Lieut. Gen. Winflc'.d Scott. The Western
division of the array will be placed under his control, it is
A recruiting officer in North Carolina publishes the fol
lowing advertisement: "North Carolina wants 30,K) volun
teers. She must have them. Now is the time, young men,
to serve your country. Remember the Mecklenburg' decla
ration. Abe Lincoln and his Cabinet must not repose In
safotv so near the grave of Washington."
It Is announced on seeminsjlv good authority that the
Southern stockholders of the Adams Express Company
have purchased all the property, privilege, and interests of
the company in the Confederate States. The new company
will orpinlze in a few .days, it is stated.
Arkansas has just been admitted Into the Southern Con
federacy by the congress at Montgomery, according to dis
patches from that city.
Special correspondence from Pensacola says that 6C0
troops from Georgia and Alabama have recently arrived
there, being the advance guard of 2,000 troops ordered to
that point. This, It la stated, will Increase Bragg"s com
mand to 10,000 men.
The United States sletfmer Monticello fires Into the bat
tery at Sewalls Point, near Norfolk, and the Are Is re
turned with great effect, causing steamtugs-to be sent out
from Old Point to haul her off. The Minnesota also comes
out and fires two shells at the battery.
Among the several thousand Confederate forces now at
Norfolk Is a body of 300 Indians from Cherokee, N. C,
under the training of General Jackson, member of the
North Carolina senate from Cherokee. A more formida
ble looking body of men has never been congregated on
the continent. It Is declared. Not one of rthem is less
than six feet In height, and they are built accordingly.
Tley shoot running or standing with unerring aim and
load and fire with a rapidity that is declared to be really
surprising. Besides his rifle, each man carries a scalping
knife and tomahawk.
50,000 Percussion Caps
Marked as Garden Seed.
It is reported thajt Gen. Winfleld Scott says he does
not want any cavalry, believing that infantry and, rifle
men will be sufficient for his purpose.
Advices from Montgomery say that the gallant Ben Mc
Culloch has received the appointment of brigadier general
In the Confederate States army, and will confine his 'op
erations chiefly to the Lone Star State.
A Kentucky correspondent of the Cincinnati Gazette says
that 60,000 percusslor mlnle rifle caps passed over the Ken
tucky Central road the other day, for the Southern army,
marked garden seed.
May 18, :86i.
From reliable sources it has been ascertained that the
Government will not strike a blow unless compelled by the
Confederacy until after the Virginia election.
If It should happen that the Union men of that State
can find a voice sufficiently strong to redeem the reputation
of the old Commonwealth the seat of war will be remoed
farther South. Little hope Is entertained of such a result,
hut the Government ls willing to give the State the benefit
of the doubt.
Whatever the result of th election, the Government will
take possession of, and fortifv. Arlington Heights, placing
a force of 10,000 t loops there for the protection of the
It has just been discoverpd that the Secessionists have
planted a battery at Mattleas Point, not quite half way be
tween Washington and Fortress Monroe. The battery is
on v ery high groun d, so high that It cannot be successfully
attacked from a war vessel in the river.
Keep on Guard.
The Long bridge, connecting Washington with the Vir
ginia shore, ls now occupied by a large force of Federal
troops, and an armed vessel ls kept in the Immediate vi
cinity. General Scott has received Information of a con
templated attack from the rebels In that quarter, and is pre
pared to give therrka dose of their own medicine.
The military department of Virginia has Ijeen created,
and Maj. Gen. Benjamin F. Butler placed in command.
It embraces eastern Virginia, to the summit of the Blue
Ridge, North and South Carolina, and eastern Tennessee.
The Fifth and Sixth Massachusetts Regiments, now sta
tioned at Relay Junction, will be ordered to proceed at
once to Annapolis, and there to embark for Fortress Monroe,
where General Butler will establish his headquarters.
The garrison of the fort will then consist of 3.000 men,
and a camp of 15,000 or 20,000 rnen will be established in
the Imme'fate vicinity, and under the protection of the
guns of the fort. General Butler will have all the Massa
chusetts troops, under hl3 command.
It Is highly probable that a conflict may -take place
at Culpeper Court House, a town of about 1,000 inhabitants,
sixty miles from Washington and one hundred miles from
Richmond. It will not be precipitated, however, by the
At this point Brigadier General Cooke has 6,000 well
armed troops, who are expecting an early attack from the
rebels. Scattered at convenient points between Alexandria
and the Court house are nearly 3,000 additional troops, who
will not make a stand or show fight until they have re
treated to the main body at Culpeper.
Where the Southerners
One ot General Butler's coast brigades has discovered
that the rebels of VI rglnla have been obtaining supplies
by the way. of the Rappahanock river, and today the
river was blockaded, so that now the Old Dominion is
Teff Davis has isued a statement to the effect that by
a vote of the Confedrate Congress on the 13th Instant It vas
flnallv decided to rr-move the capital of the Confederacy
from Montgomery to Richmond.
A large hotel has been rented by the Government and
Is being fitted up as a hospital. It is located near George
town College. In one of the most healthful and pleasant
parts of the city.
1 aclysm through which that. In
sertlon has passed. And you are
at It again. . Tou tried it in some cur
tains, end they looked as if you had
hung your petticoat flounces up at the
It is the sign of your thraldom. The
Bargain Counter Witch has got you.
She Insinuated the suggestion into
your mind that it was a wonderful
bargain. Marked down from $3 a yard
to 75 cents. Think of it!
Think of if That's about all you
have been able to do since you ac
quired It. Tou have spent enough brain
your brain with the weight of tons
of bricks? No. Lulled, lured, fasci
nated by the Bargain Counter Witch,
you wrestle with this chain of lace,
then, for change, for diversion to your
tattered nerves you rush downtown
and shop! You "pick up" more bar
gains. Have you no eyes for the signs of
near rebellion in your family Are
you unwarned by the stiff upper lip
It ls held so to keep It from trembling
that your small daughter wears? She
sees you making for the bargatn
trunk' She needs a "party dress " She
knows that trunk. Her small heart
force on' trying to make it serve some " j?as 1?ad the J' squeezed from it be-
purpose to have conducted a model
dairy or made pin money pickles and
Can you not accept the knowledge
Our Grocery Clerk
Says Drink er Down
"What you don't know won't hurt
you." 8ay, the old fellows that
thought up all these old proverbs
and things must have gone through
grammar school, all right. Mrs. Bag-
stock don't know, anyhow, so I guess
It won't hurt her.
Tht? ls all about cider. Mrs. Bag
stock lores cider, and every day or
so they get their old brown jug filled
with fresh fermented. But It has to
be some fresh, because Mrs. B. ls
wildcats on the liquor question, and
nothing stronger than ginger ale is
ever allowed to pass down old Bag- J
stock's main portico.
It seems that the old man Is some 1
authority on 'elder, bo the old lady!
totes him along every time to taste ,
the brew before she hands over the
Jug. Well. I don't know whether!
the boss ever talked It over with him ,
or not. but believe me, it's-- not the
elder that goes Into the Jug that old
man Bagstock tastes. It's the hard- ,
est kind of hard elder, hard as nails
and then some. And you ought to t
see the old fellow smack his lips and
tell his wife It's '.til right," Well, j
what she don't know 1
fore by the extracted contents of that
hateful trunk. The lat time she drew
a hideous challls. A dull, horrid pink,
with queer little brown buglike wads
that you vainly tried to tell her were
rosebuds Of course. It is an "excel-
' Jent piece of goods." It will wear well
too well. Curses on It for the power
it has to kill joy in that little mai-
l den's bosom!
Men do not hunt bargains.
How the old Bargain Counter Witch
and the storekeeper, too, I reckon'
laughs In her sleeves as she sees
women fight for a chanct. to buy at a
two-cent reduction what they would
have sneered at when It lay on ft
counter and had Its normal price at
tached. The two cents extra would
have been small pay for shopping In
comfort with a stool supporting the
nerve centers of the back and a mind
free- from the divided duty of protect
ing corns and hanging on like grim
death to a piece of a "bargain." But
no! Rather tramp and be trampled!
The Old Hag Chortles
The old hag chortles and hugs her
shaking sides. She gloats over the
bent backs and ruined digestions of
the slaves who make her wares. She
revels In the worn nerves and weary
feet of the slaves w-ho buy.
Oh, If some God-taught sculptor
would carve her hideous face and
crouching maniacal figure so that
you enchanted ones might see truly
the evil genius who makes you thralls
and oppressors, too! Tou help her to
kill your sisters, who toil to make the
bargains with which she enchants you.
Wail of the Fans;
Or, Suffrage Outdone
Now comes the lady suffragette.
. All cluttered up with mission;
She gets her hlgh-browed photograph
In nearly each edition.
We thank the sporting editor
For his breezy, timely chat.
And dodge the woory suffrage stuff
We haven't time for that.
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PRIZE KIDDLE TOD&Y
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CHICA&O CUQ CHAMCE TO ARCHER PffS WILL.
B0ST0H COOPER. UP -10 ttftVE TO1S SPEAKER BRST ?
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