Newspaper Page Text
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THE WASHINGTON TIMES, THURSDAY, JANUARY 16, 1913.
Published Every Evening (Including Sundays)
'by the Washington Times Company,
The Munsey Building, Pennsylvania Avenue.
Frank A. Munser, Pres. ' K. H. Titlierington, Sec
Fred A. Walier, Treasurer and General Manager.
ONE YEAR (INC. SUNDAY) $30 1 6 MO.. S1.73 3 MO.. 00c.
Entered t the Postomce at "Washington. D. C. as second class
"Washington, D. C, Thursday, January 16, 1913.
MAKING IMPEACHMENT EASIER.
Jurists and lawyers who regarded as highly signifi
cant the conviction of Judge Archbald for writing
a private letter about a pending case to the lawyer
for an interested railroad, will not fail to note a
further admonition in the introduction of a bill to
make impeachment easier.
Senator Pomerene has presented a measure to
liberalize the impeachment provision of the Consti
tution, so that it may be possible to have a com
mittee of the Senate try an impeachment case, as a
committee tries the case involving a Senator's right
to a seat. The few impeachment cases that have
been tried have amply demonstrated the impossibil
ity of the old procedure. A committee ought to take
the testimony, and submit.it to the Senate, which
should then vote on it.
Senator Pomerene proposes to preserve the old
method of impeachment when the "President, Vice
President, or Chief Justice is involved; which is
proper enough. '
A UNION STATION NECESSITY.
As a public convenience of its kind, the union
passenger station in Washington is widely commend
ed as the best m the world. A few steps take the
traveler from car or carriage tonis train. To or
. from, a majority of trains, there is no deviation from
the one level. Within this easy compass are pro
vided all the conveniences and facilities that could
well be expected in such an establishment.
But there is one exception to the rule of excel
lent service of the traveling public. The' street cars
receive and leave thousands of people daily at the
south front, of the station, where no shelter is pro
vided for them. If it rains, they must get to or from
their cars in the rain, lugging baggage and leading
children. There ought to be a shelter. Perhaps it
would be difficult to design one in. architectural con
.fprmity to the noble scheme of the facade, though
it is- suspected thatj a canopy bf steel and glass, ex
tending out over the car tracks, would be. more
gratifying to travelers on bad days than an unbroken
view of the artistic perfections of the structure, ano
would not unduly detract from the latter.
REPRESENTATION FOR THE DISTRICT.
The District Commissioners oppose . having the
District represented by any elected member or dele
gate in Congress, fearing that the matter woula
presently Jail into the ruck of partisan politics, and
be unfortunate for the community.
"Will the Commissioners indicate just when any
American community got so superior, so fine of fa
bric,, so dainty of sensibilities, that it was threat
ened with grave consequences if it came into touch
with the common things of politics? '
Will they be good enough to let us know how
New York elects its forty-five ' Congressmen, and
whether, on the whole, it would be better for New
York to do without representation here in order to
avoid the. indelicacies of partisan organization and
There seems some fear that If Washington were
represented in Congress, its representatives would
somehow muss up our relations with the Government.
The Senators and Congressmen from each of
forty-eight States manage to represent the national
concerns of their people without gravely prejudicing
the' Government against their respective States.
If it's a good thing for' Washington to be unrep
resented in Congress, on the ground that Congress
will be more charitable if we are helpless, why not
try the same benevolent plan on some of the other
dogs; why not convince Pennsylvania that it would
get along better without any Congressmen or Sena
tors! Alaska and Porto Rico and the Philippines and
Hawaii yes, they are represented; but Washington
must go without a spokesman!
Entirely aside from the peculiarities of our local
administrative situation are not Washington people
"part of the American Union? Are they not affected
by national legislation just as are the people of
Oklahoma and Oregon? Haven't they interests in
the purely national view of affairs? Are they less
capable of commissioning a spokesman than the peo
ple, say, of Samar?
CHANGING THE INAUGURATION DATE.
Senator Root has proposed that when the upper
chamber considers the constitutional amendment to
fix the President's term at six years and limit the
Executive to a single term, the question of changing
the inaugural date should go with it. Mr. Root is
Changing the inaugural date is a big affair. It
involves a general reorganization of the political
calendar; and that reorganization is needed. There
ought to be no short session of a retiring Congress
after the election of its successor. That should be
covered in any scheme of changes.
Likewise, the provision for the election of a
President by the House should be changed, so that
jf the Electoral College fails the new House, not the
retiring one, shall elect the President.
Taking all these features into consideration, a
project like this should be put forward:
The general election should be. held, say, Scp
. tember 15, or thereabouts. '
The inauguration of the new President should take
"place about November 1. That would insure, on an
average, the best weather conditions Washington
The new, not the old, Congress should meet at
thet same time and proceed to business. It" would
know no such institution as a "short session," but
would stick to its task through the winter and as late
into the spring as necessary. The business ordinarily
could be completed before the heated term brought
lassitude and disgust.
Changing the date of inauguration is not an
airy-fairy little incident, to be hurried through without
any consideration. Many important matters are to
be considered in connection with it. The quickest
results will be secured, on the whole, if the whole big
problem is presented at once and acted upon as a
Merely to shove the inaugural date forward to
April 15 or May 1 would aggravate the present unde
sirable arrangement of the political calendar.
THIS & THAT
With Sometimes a Little of the Other
ANOTHER BALLINGER MENACE.
The persistent report that former Governor Edwin
L. Norris of Montana is likely to- get the Interior
portfolio in the Wilson Cabinet, is cause for serious
concern .among friends of proper conservation in
deed, of any conservation at all.
Governor Norris has a conservation record that
should exclude him from all consideration unless it
is to be the deliberate policy of the new Administra
tion to turn the public domain over to the States,
wash the Federal hands of it. and let the States
squander this national heritage -as they choose.
If the nation wants its remaining national re
sources administered by communities in which Gug
genheim control, or Amalgamated Copper domina
tion, or Mormon church influence, or Lumber trust
wealth, or water power intrigue have been the
causes of nation-wide scandal then let the public
domain be parceled out to the States.
Let it become the billion-dollar-prize' in a grand
game for Lorimerized legislatures and personally
conducted officiaries to play at.
Governor Norris became head of his State in 1910.
Before he is made Secretary of the Interior, his
earlier connections as a lawyer for Amalgamated
Copper might well be examined.
He was one of the prime movers in organizing
the Conference of Northwestern Governors at Salt
Lake in 1910. It was said that he wrote this highly
suggestive resolution of that conference; certainly
he approved it:
"that State government, no less benef-'
icently than national, is capable of devising and
administering laws for the conservation of pub
lic property; and that the national aiyi State
governments should legislatively co-ordinate
to the end that within a reasonable period the -State
governments be conceded full and com
plete administration of such conservation laws
as may be found adaptable, to the varying con
ditions of the several States.
Does that suffer any other possible construction
than cession of the. public domain to the States?
Governor Norris led the water, power discussion,
and this resolution was passed:
The use and control bf all water power In
heres of right in the States, within restrictions
insuring perpetual freedom from monopoly.
On September 5, 1909, at tfie Conservation Con:
gress at St. Paul, Governor Norris' speech was a
plea for State control and owernship.
In his message to the Montana legislature on con
servation he said:
I have at all times advocated and do now
earnestly favor the surrender by the United
States to the States of all control and benefit in
water and power sites, under the condition,
however, that the State shall enact laws to
conserve and regulate the use of these re
sources. And again in that same message:
There are those who insist that the legis
latures arfrjess disposed than Congress to enact
laws for the wise use and administraton of nat
ural resources. I am not in accord with this be
lief. I am encouraged to believe that Con
gress will surrender the control and benefit of
water and power sites to the States when Con
gress sees that a wise administration of these
resources will follow.
It is reported that Mr. Bryan favors Norris for
the Interior Secretaryship, and favors the Norris plan
of handling the public domain. To believe that Mr.
Bryan is so far enamoured of the ancient State rights
doctrine as to take this position is almost beyond be
lief. To assume that Mr. Wilson would acquiesce
in it, even to please Mr. Bryan, is quite beyond
Governor Wilson has need to beware of both
doctrinarian counsels and plundering interests.
The movement to grab the public domain is
powerful, determined, and backed by whatever 're
mains of the old, extreme State rights school of
That movement is powerful and mendacious
enough to wreck a Democratic Administration, if
need be. on the same rock of Ballingerism on which
the Taft regime went to pieces.
And In addition, don't forget,
She may be Rita Jollret.
The Commissioners reasons for op
posing a District Congressional dele
gate, with all due respect to the gentle
lnen, sound as though they had been
conceived by the ladles of the Tuesday
Afternoon Knitting Society.
THANKS FOR THE AD, WALT.
(From one gf "Walt Mason's proBepomes.)
Wax says a law wo ought to have, re
quiring THIS, compelling THAT.
"We have not purchased the Govern
ment's new cook book, but we intend
to do so. Probably it does not contain
the recipe we are looking for; that Is
asking too much. What we want to
know, to get down to business, is how
to make cranberry Jelly, in order that
we may pass the recipe on to the lady
who cooks our cranberries, and who
assures us that she doesn't know how
to make them Jell, but would be glad
When we succeed In finding the reclpa
we are going to publish it in this
column, in the hope 'that others may
profit by It. Cranberry Jelly, properly
made. Is food fit for a king; but' cran
berry soup is nix.
Go search each nook and cranny;
The everlasting globe
You'll find no more obnoxious word
As to our representation In the In
augural parade, we believe we shall
iask D. I. B. to march for us, bearing
a fasces containing the column's sym
TVE COULD HATE SURYIYED IT.
G. S. K.: Speaking of fountain pens
running dry, wouldn't it have been
awful If mine had quit working Just as
I was writing this contrlbuUon?
"Be on the safe side where becris
concerned," runs an advertisement.
Which doesn't mean the outside, believe
The "Star's" subhead on Rockvllle
news items', yesterday, was this:
Miss Flora Yarllck and Louis Ben.
nett Jfariled OlTen Small
ST7CH IS LIFE! By rvUlTOCEETTIil
i ITS PERFECTLY
THEY MUST HAVE A BUNCH
ARajMDlHfc: Room upThoU
NO "CLEVERER" THAN THE ANCIENTS.
No doubt, the ancients were wise in their day
and generation, but it is something of a shock to
learn the conclusion to which Dr. Alfred Russell
Wallace, one of England's foremost authors in the
fields of natural history and social science, has come
at 90 years of age. As quoted in a London dispatch,
he holds that "there has been no general advance
either in intellect or morals from the days of the
earliest Egyptians and Syrians down to the keel
laying of the latest dreadnought." Tne Doctor, while
admitting, of course, that "there has been a great
accumulation of human knowledge," insists that "we
are no cleverer than the ancients."
Perhaps we are not. Let us take a "crimp" in
our vanity and try to bear it. But the modern man,
whether cleverer than his remote ancestor or not,
is the heir of all' the ages, and upon him is the
responsibility of using the great, heritage of knowl
edge and experience that has come down to him.
Knowledge is power, and it means) more to live now
than it did at the dawn of civilization.
It Is like delving back Into medieval
days, to read that the Senatorial fight
In West Virginia Is between Messrs?
French and England. -. .. . .
Overheard in a stationery store:
CUSTOMER: "I want to get somelonE
CLERK: "Yes. sir. How Ion do you
want inem :
CUSTOMER: "What's that?"
CLERK: "I said, how long do you
CUSTOMER: "Why, I want to keep
them, of course."
If the Money trust be hypothetical,
this column Is no less so. Hypothetical,
says Webster, Is something that Is "as
sumed without proof for the purpose of
argument." WeN, we assumed this
column for the purpose of argument,
and without proofs, too, thanks to the
vagaries of the comp room. So there
As to what would happen If a law
were passed prohibiting- stock gambling,
we think we can almost guess It. a law
would be passed prohibiting stock Ramb
ling. Prices for various necessities are not
to be advanced Inauguration week, as
previously announced by the committee,
and a taxicab company yesterday con
tributed -V) to the Inaugural fund. 'Sail.
G. S. K 1 think the last line of your
column Is always terribly funny. The
initials. I mean. S. N. J.
Still, every man to hisf own Idea of
humor. We are willing to bear with all
of thou, the single exception being the
man who Uivldes all Jokes into, two
classes, his own and the ones he doesn't
Reports of prosperous conditions
throughout the country appear to have
bten marktwainly exaggerated. Indus
try after Industry Is about to appoint a
receiver for tin. wliolo darned shooting
match; conditions in every line of busi
ness are next to appalling. No. not
tvtry line; the tariff hearings have pro
gressed only to schedule II.
To till how far a blcyclis has trav
eled on days such cs tlil3, merely look
at his back
If tlic weather Iuen't chance.
GO AHEAD: WHAT DOES IT SAVE?
THINKING UP A GOOD
G. S. K: Can't you work up something
on the Panama Canal, such as "A
ditch In time saves, etc.?" 1 T. W.
Princeton, N. J., Jan. 11.
Mr. Relnald Wcrrcnrath rendered a
solo. "Eln Ton," at the Rubinstein
Club concert, and we'll give you one
guess as to whether it were light or
Representative Redtlcld says that hu
was in the Equitable building, pointed
out Ha complete uselessness, and the
next morning It burned down.
Come on up and criticise the post
Office, W11L G. S. K.
.Vxj Peace Blasters!
tAJ u Vft". .?. e 1 i V J
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BE BACK FbR. Two HOURS,- S . j j.'PM '- "' H AWmEy J
she saysdont worry about rft - . i1,5- - " bwK eiviNG-fieP
yiefrmMATC -iris reTRe Cause c(Sc ("TTnE-K6PER. ' xW$
AKO WAUCWITH US Tfte CAUSE A StIS nSvi
S, roRJHe- Hl.5 yCOMgQH j ft0ReTuWSAR0UHuj '
MRS. JARR HAS A NARROW
ESCAPE IN REALMS OF ART
THE orgies In Mildred Mowbray
Pllkington's studio began with a
saxaphone solo by Mr. Mildred
Mowbray Pllkington. It was a
little Improvisation of his own, he an
nounced, a nocturne entitled "The
In the low notes he was aided greatly
by the snores of the hasheesh poet on
Mrs. Stryver and Mrs. Clara Mud-ridge-Smlth
were In ecstacies. But Mrs.
Jarr's eyes were fixed upon the lady
Uohcmtan who was smoking the meer
schaum pipe, and for the life of her she
could not dissociate herself from the
Idea that the hideous moans of the
paxaphone were emanating from the
triecrschaum pipe, while the smoke that
drifted up from this lady's parched lips
was really being emitted from Mr. Mil
dred Mowbray Pllkington's saxaphone.
It might have been the hasheesh the
poet had eaten, or It may have been the
equally acrid fumes from the Joss
sticks burning In a copper bowl on a
tabouret near by, but Mrs. Jarr felt
faint and slcklsh.
She could see that Mrs. Stryver and
Mrs. Mudridge-Smtth. being among peo
ple they did not understand and hear
ing and seeing things Intensely foreign
to them, believed It was Art, Soul, and
After the "Ghoul's Rlgadoon" was
Oh, Brace Up!
"You liar you itnd had lurk for
"And then, all at once, it began to
done a fat woman with a large nose and
a rugged,- leathery face, who, had come
in during the saxaphone solo, bearing a
black bag, opened the handbag without
more ado and taking out false beards,
spectacles, and wigs, proceeded jto give
"Plastic Phases of Great Men, Past
and Present." ,
When she put on a gray mustache
and a bald wig and borrowed the pipe
from the smoking lady and MA Pllk
Jngton struck up "The Wacht am.
Rheln" on the studio piano, everybody
murmured in untson,"BIsmarck!"
Aftr the leather-faced lady had
donned all her wigs 'and other Im
plements of torture to the beholders
and everybody guessed correctly which
phase of great men past and present
she Impersonated, thanks to Mr. Pllk
ington's musical charades. Mrs. Pllk
Drawing aside a curtain, and dis
closing thereby an ollstove. some un
washed dishes and Mr. Pllkington's
street or citizen's clothers, Mrs. Pllk
ington produced a tin tub in which a
curious apparatus of gears and levers
"My demonstration with domestic up
liftfor tonight Is Domestic Night In
our studio Is of a wonderful Inven
tion to emancipate our sex," (Mr. Pllk
ington applauded loudly) "from the
drudgery of the blanchlsserle," said
Knowing this was a foreign .word
and therefore to be treated with res
pect, Mrs. Stryver and Mrs. Mudrldgc
Smlth murmured a polite "Hear!
Hear!" Remembering French lessons
of other days, Mrs. Jarr guessed that
the apparatus was a washing machine.
"The principle Is vacuum," Mrs. Pllk
ington went on.. "One can read Ros
settl or Maeterl nek. or pore over the
absorbing creations of Beardsley, or
even compose a sonnet while cleansing
the habiliments of the menage.
"One," here Mrs. Pllkington gazed
steadily at the three strange" ladles In
Studloland. "may even cleanse the gar
ments of the household whllc-ln evening
dress In fact. I know a millionaire's
wife "who did the family washing" the
plain, common purpose of the thing
was out "while at a costume party at
What She Did
At Costume Party.
"The vacuum washer was placed, with
the family Uncn. n a dasher churn,
and. costumed as a Dresden shep
herdess. Mrs. Vandergould did sixteen
sheets, four pillow cases, nineteen table
napklna and four pairs of laco cur
tains." "How delightful!" cried all the lady
Bohemians. "I'll take one!"
"Too bad I have so little money with
me." murmured Mrs. Stryver. "It'ls
Just what I want."
Fortunately, Mr. Pllkington had a
book of blank checks, and Mrs. MtW-rldge-Smlth
also secured ono of tho
Mrs. Jarr stood linn. She said she
hadn't a Dresden shepherdess costume.
"I somehow feel we have been ex
ploited," said Mrs. Jarr as they drove
uptown In Mrs. Mudrldgc-Smlth's
"How can you talk that way about
thone dear, artistic souls?" cried the
pther ladles. ,....
But Mr. Jarr agreed with Mrs. Jarr's
aurmlse when he was told about it.
; - :
Cheer Up, Cuthberf!
. By' Clarence L. Cxillett
N' the Game of I-Spy with. Monsieur
Success the Straddler Is Always
We don't HAVE
to Rail merely be
cause we Fall!
. We can recall a
Ldt of Sure-Thing-Players
There are '-a
Number of Ways
ivhereby a Bad
Bet may be
uuuEfcL sjightly Strength-
ened-r-but Running Away isn't one
A Lot of us Congratulate ourselves be
cause we Imagine we Break about Even
at the End of a Poker Year but our
Figures don't Consider the Loss of Per
fectly Good Tlma and tho Wear and
Tear on the Nervous System!
There's a Heap of -Difference between
Sure-enough Zeal and Merely Getting
Every Day a Lot of Valuable Time la
Wasted up and down the World by
Folks who Imagine that they can Pla
No Sophistry is too Subtle to be Em
ployed when we're Trying to Convince
ourselves that we're Doing Our Best!
Tranquillity of Spirijt isn't the
Main Ingredient bf Success but
it Makes a Mighty Good Leavener!
Quitting is so Ignoble that we Never
Feel like Blaming the Man who Digs up
a Lying Reason for Doing It!
The onlv Kind of Enthusiasm that's
Worth While Is the Sort that can Take
Punishment and Still go on Effervescing.
Some of us Suffer from Over-Sterilized
There's Always another Anchorage if
ycur Moorings are Bad!
The Man who Finds It Hard to Forgive
himself Is Pretty Apt to take a Chari
table View of the Foibles of Others!
That the Savage Strain still Survives In
Some tf us is Indicated by tho Fact
that oftpn our First Impulse Is to Jump
Getting His hearings.
TE Rev. J. Hennlng Nelms. rec
tor of the Church of the Ascen
sion, was a Virginia lawyer be
fore he became a minister. One
of his favorite anecdotes of the Vir
ginia police court relates to an old
time, darky who was hauled otp before
the Judge for stealing a hen.
Rastus sat throughout the trial with
out paying a bit of attention to the
arguments of the prosecuting attornoy,
or to his own defense, for that matter,
und was "mile away," so to speak.
Tho Judge wanted to be easy on tao
old man, for It was his first offence,
and during the course of tho argument,
while the old man wns dreaming awav
unmindful of what was goim: on around
him. the Judge asked:
' Rastus. do you drink?"
Rastus Immediately was all attention.
Jedgc." said he, "can I ar you Is
dat an Inquiry or a Invitation?" Cleve
land Plain Dealer.
on Those" Who" are-'Dofwnand then our
Civilized Consciousness points the
Finger of Shame at us!
There never was a Renowned
Ruler who wasrti Self-Ruled!
'IUb all right to Make an Inventory of
Yourself but let Somebody Else do the
wHeri'Pagannlnl was la the Jug he
Composed and Played a Concerto tor
the G String only because that's the
Only String he' had Leftoa'hJs Incarcer
Whenever we jiear one of our Bud
dies making a Jest of his Cruise on the
Aqua Vehicle, something Seems to Tell
us he Isn't Going to Finish the Voyage!
For the Sake of Brevity.
- r HEARD" a story in Germany," says
T George Schmltnacht, who has just
I returned, "about a. jiovellst and
Xan editor. The editor had 'ordered
a story of "a certain length, and the
novelist had written several hundred
words' too many. In order to make the
story fit' the space at his disposal the.
last few paragraphs were condensed
into, a single sentence. This Is: the way
" 'Von Berken . took a small glass ot
whlskoy. his hat, his departure, no no
tice of his pursuers, a revolver out ot
his pocket, and. Anally. his life.:"
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
What's on the Program in
The following Masonic organization will
meet tonignt: Loages rsavai, uo. 1,
M. M.; Hiram. No. 10. E. A.; La
Fayette. No, 13. M. il.; William It.
Singleton, No. 30. E. A. Royal and
Select Mastersr-Adonlram Council. "No.
2. Eastern Star Esther Chapter. No.
The following I. O. O. F. lodges will
meet tonight: Columbia, No. 10. de
gree: Excelsior. No. l?..and Salem, No.
The following Red Men's tribes will
meet tonight: Logan, No. S; Sioux,
Meeting of Franklin Lodge. No. 2. IC
of P.. tonight.
Meeting of America Castle. No. 3. Gol
den Eagle, tonight.
Lecture ky the Rev. Dr. Salter, J.
Shanley on "History of Temperance
In the United States." Catholic Unt-
.iu Vilc oftflrnfinn- '
Installation - of officers and smoker, by
tne XJUliaJUK Aittuco .wi4iiw. tAatct-
ers" Hall. Four-and-a-half street and
"Pennsylvania avenue northwest, to-
Oystcr roast by the Young' People's
Society of St. Stephen's Church, four
teenth street and Columbia road, to
National "Kismet." S p. m. "
Belasco "Julius Caesar." 8 p. m.
Columbia "Over the River," 2:15 and
3:15 p. m.
Chase's Polite Vaudeville. 2U5 and SOS
Poll's Vaudeville, afternon and evenlnr
Academy "DJon O'Dare." 2:15 and SU3
Lyceum Zallah's Burlesque. 2:15 and
8:15 p. m.
Gayety "World of Pleasure." 2:13 and
SOI p. m.
... . .S v
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