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THE WASHINGTON TIMES; SATURDAY; JANUARY 18," 1913.'
xc06iuni5tmT f imitf
Published Every Evening (Including Sundays)
by the Washington Times Company,
The Munsey Building, Pennsylvania Avenue.
Frank A. Munsey, Pres. B. H. TItherington, Sec.
Tred A. Walter, Treasurer and General Manager.
ONE YEAR (INC. SUNDAY) X30 6 MO f 1.75 3 MO.. 00c.
Entered at the Postofflcs at Washington. D. C a second claaa
Washington, D. C, Satnrdar, January 18, 1918.
NEW HELD FOR BRAIN SPECIALISTS?
- The loss of memory on the part of the gentlemen
who cany 'on the vast financial operations of- the
country is approaching the proportions of an epi
demic. A. C. Burrage is the latest victim of this
dreadful affliction. Testifying before the Pujo com
mittee, he stated that he was one of the organizers
of the Amalgamated Copper Company, in 1896.
"Was the profit $39,000,000?" asked Mr. Unter
myer. "I could not say," said the afflicted one. "Will
you say that your profit was not more than $5,000,
000?" he 'was 'asked. "I could not say," said the
patient. "Then this entire deal was accomplished
without the scratch of a pen?" came next. "Yes,-so
far as I know," was the replyf This is very sad and
adds another burden to the already distressed edu
cators of the land. , '
The afflicted witness memory was better con
cerning things that could readily be ascertained by
bank records and other similar matters where mem
ory is not so essential. But this affair, like so many
of the same kind, should speedily be made the sub
ject of special investigation by the medical schools
in frder that the psychological paralysis which strikes
the brain on certain occasions may be mitigated. ""
' SIMPLIFYING COURT PROCEDURE.
Governor Sulzer has recommended to the New
York legislature a codification of the State's laws
and a general simplification of court procedure that
ought to be adopted. Without attempting analysis of
the recommendations, it may be said that they read
as if they might have been prepared by Mr. .Justice
Goff and District Attorney Whitman, and represent
their views of "this sort of reform work, as crystallized
and exhibited to the public through the trials of
Becker and the '"gunmen."
The appellate court of New York may perchance
find technical grounds for new trials in those cases;
but Governor Sulzer and public opinion have affirmed
the whole procedure, including the verdicts. If th'
legislature will do as much, New York will have
stepped a long way to the front of the procession
that is moving toward simple, workable, economical,
and effective administration of the law. The various
reforms are recommended by a commission that has
been studying the subject. They look to. adopting
proposals repeatedly indorsed, in general, bythe
American Bar Association. They do not go so far
as the. late Justice Brewer went in some of his pro
posals, but they are a good beginning. They Tvould
make it impossible to secure a new trial on the
ground of error that did not' materially prejudice the
defendant in a criminal case; they -would do away
with the demurrer; and in general they would make
it possible to expedite business and get verdicts on
TO- PERFECT THE PARCEL POST.
The narcel post's success is sweeping. The first
ten days of the new service by the Government have
left absolute proof of the boon it is to the people
and have demonstrated that what has been accom
plished has come so easily and swiftly that the public
will not be content until the service has been ex
tended to a much wider field and needless and ham
pering regulations have ben removed.
It is a demand that has not been fully met, owing
partly to the carelessness of the users and partly to
the curious technicalities which have been slipped
into the law that are of little practical use "to the
postal service, but put unnecessary obstacles in the
way.ofmuch wider success.
The demand for-a special stamp is as great an
inconvenience as could have been devised.
It burdens the public, leads to delay in operation
and checks the free working of the post. It might
well be abolished without delay. The requirement
that parcels must be deposited at the postoffice or
substation instead of in boxes open for the deoosit
of packages of printed matter adds further to the
delay. The schedule of rates needs revisjen to make
it uniform and to adapt the parcel post to fit ade
quately the present postal schedules.
The proposal of Anderson of Minnesota pro
viding that in no case shall parcel post rates be
higher than the old rate on fourth-class matter is an
excellent suggestion. The provision which bars books
i?4iile admitting eggs or carpet tacks to parcel post
delivery is unreasonable. These all are matters
capable of remedy. The representatives of the
people in Congress will find that they can help the
people no more definitely than in doing their best to
see this most useful agency fully adjusted to the
needs it should fill.
has almost unanimously voted to ratify the constitu
tional amendment for direct election of Senators by
the people. The State senate will follow suit. Other
States are lining ud for the measure, which is well-
nigh certain to be adopted before the year's end.
That any State will finally vote it down may be
Ratification of the income tax amendment is
needed from only two more States. It will be secured
this winter without serious uncertainty.
Such progressive measures as initiative and ref
erendum, short ballot, corrupt practices acts, real
primary laws, and the like are the order of the day
at almost all the State capitals.
Good roads legislation is getting a measure of
State consideration which is gratifying in view of the
threats of a raid on the Federal Treasury in behalf
of such "internal improvements" improvements
which we find strenuously supported by numerous
Democrats of Jacksonian pretensions who seem to
have forgotten that jackson bitterly opposed just that
sort of thing.
THIS & THAT
With Sometimes a little eftht Other
MODERNIZING THE CIVIL SERVICE.
.i THE STATE LEGISLATURES.
The legislatures of most of the States will meet
this winter. Many of them will elect United States
Senators, and already that part of their business is
being transacted. v
Tnere are deadlocks, or possibilities of deadlocks,
in Maine, Wyoming, Illinois, West Virginia, New
Hampshire, and Tennessee; other States may de
velop like complications.
The legislature that gets entangled with a Sena
torial election is generally of small service. It can't
do much more than to struggle with that one problem.
By the time a serious deadlock is broken it com
monly develops that desirable legislation has been
logrolled into convenient pigeonholes, and undesira
ble measures have been bartered into the statute
books.,- - J . -
So it is good to observe mat New York's assembly
The Civil Service Commission will doubtless be
conceded to know something worth while about the
civil service. If it doesn't, it ought to be fired
If it isn't going to be fired, it ought to be lis
tended to with respect. In its annual report, just is
sued, it pictures the treadmill conditions that sur
round the mass of civil service workers, making it
impossible for the Government to expect efficiency
comparable to that attained in commercial organi
zations, and at the same time depriving the employe
of those incentives to ambition, and. effort which
alone can make the career desirable.
The merit system has increased efficiency, but
it needs protection and extension. This does not
mean extension on a day's notice to a whole vast
classification of tens of thousands of postmasters
for political effect It means recognition of merit
where merit exists. So preposterous a performance
as blanketing the lower classes of postmasters with
a civil service order that looks to retaining an army
of partisans in office, is not an extension of the merit
system. Rather, it is a repudiation of the merit
system, a mockery of sincere civil service preten
sions, a fake and a cheap fraud.
More than that, it is an invitation to the new
Administration to revoke that preposterous order
and return to the ancient and outworn doctrine of
the spoils for the victors. This is just the timevhen
perversion, of civil service professions, if indulged
by one party, is sure to be construed by the other
as admission that the whole system. is a hypocritical
device of the masquerading spoilsman.
The commission observes that "so long as so
large a proportion of the higher administrative posi
tions remain unclassified, to be filled from outside
without promotion, the classified service will not
offer a career in competition with such outside fields
of employment as are organized and conducted on
a'merit basis, and which have systems of retirement
upon disability or superannuation."
The commission is entirely correct. No service
offers' greater opportunities than that of the Gov
ernment to the men who get in right. But the
civil service door is not the one that leads to the
Go back over a decade and consider the bright
young men who have been, say, assistants to the
Secretary of the Treasury. They came without spe
cial qualification, as a rule; almost all of them, with
out service in the lower ranks of the department, with
out familiarity with law and procedure. They served
brief periods, and went out to be bank presidents,
executives in great concerns, managers of great
But these are not the men who entered by the
civil service door. They are the fortunates who got
in by the political route, accumulated the prestige
that goes with distinguished service in the upper
strata of Government business, and went out to be
the envy and wonder of unfortunates left behind,
treading out the daily grind of routine work; "pro
tected," it is true, by regulations that make it im
possible to discharge them without cause; but im
munized against possible attacks of aspiration, am
bition or hope.
For these of the treadmill know that the door
of opportunity is barred for them. The higher places
in the service are not for them. They may be clerks
forever; most of them are. When they become
equipped and skilled and ready for promotion to
those higher places whence it is possible to step
out for the bigger rewards of the business worfd,
they see these higher places filled by political fav
orites; they see these political favorites enjoying the
opportunity to prepare themselves for the larger
In short, of this ladder of three rounds, the lower
round is occupied by the thousands of the classified
civil service; the second is occupied by political
favorites introduced from outside the civil service;
the third is occupied by these political favorites when
promoted to the arena of general affairs outside the
The civil service needs, and the Civil Service
Commission this year says it with more force and
effectiveness than ever, to have the full field of op
portunity opened to it. The higher places in the
Government should be possible of attainment from
the ranks. The incapable and the superannuated
should be set aside, decently and humanely, in or
der that real merit and real capacity may have the
chance that they deserve. Pensions should be pro
vided for those needing and deserving, and the com
mission so declares. This one step would work
almost a revolution, in the service. It would open
a large and increasing number of the higher places
to people from the lower ranks, who now have
almost no chance of advancement. It would in
crease the efficiency of the organization; keep the
blood circulating; .put Government business on a
parity, for efficiency, and for attractiveness as a
career, with outside business.
J Music lover though we aren't. It never
can be said that we go to a concert to
look at the decorations. We don't go at
And they aballlshed it.
THE INSURANCE CLUB.
(Containing matters six feet or more over
our sky-piece )
Street railway transfer regulations.
Machinery, from screw drivers up.
Jokes from Fllegende Blaetter.
Not knocking the musicians, of
course, but we note that the abandon
ment ofthe ball means Ue abandon
ment 'of the concerts, "for the reason
that the ball decorations have been the
principal .drawing card for the con
certs." -And yet It's 11 to 3 that pre
vious concert-goers went home and
threw hypocritical, fits over Mozart's
third dlsconcerto, or went Into rhapso
dies about Chopin's Ecstasy In H.
Maurice Ketten please write.
TO W. H. T.
I would not alter the present array of
rra the standpattest of old-time tra
dltloners Still, in the logical, natural way of
What has become of those District
Business of pulling a" long face over
the fact that 'some of the hotel, restau
rant and transportation men may not
get back all the coin they subscribed
to the inaugural fund. We can't tell
you how sorry we are honestly, we
After all's said and done, the Presi
dent of France is merely a figurehead,
the exact figure being SM0.000 a year.
As'harsh a word as ever said,
The lesson for today
Revolves around that king of head
And the Chicago "Tribune" rlghUy
opines that "gubernatorial" Is tenUUed
to honorable mention as a verbal horror.
t THE MUSINGS oi" A CONDUCTOR.
By William H. Severton. 3d Vermont ave
(Being- the answer to the oft-piled query:
"Is -poetry dead in America?")
I stand -upon the car day by day.
And natch the people ret on and off
To so their several ways.
They seem to be on business bent.
To better their lot Is their sole Intent.
The rich, the poor are treated the mams;
And must give a ticket or five cents.
Some are In rags, and some In silken gowns;
If the tired man don't give up bis seat
He Is sure to get a frown.
Ther come In all colors ebony, ihemr.'
"Walnut, yellow, and white pine: 1.
isuu nice tneir oeautr. it is only on the rlne.
Their hair may be like the horsa's mn
The wool on the sheep's back. A
And Knotty, too, so that a comb won't go
It may be in color ebony, orange.
Saffron, tomatb or walnut In hue.
(To be continued )
"If Governor Wilson Is opposed to the
Inaugural ball." says Mr. Bust!, "as
his letter seems to indicate " Con
grats on the persplc, Mr. Chairman.
Not that he's the only one. A friend
of ours, at a vaudeville show, saw the
"Good Night" flashed onto the screen,
then got up and put on his things. "I
can take a hint," he said.
THE PRESIDENT ON WOODROW.
But Taft hath said he was ambitious,
And Hilles is an honorable man.
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The High Cost of Liying
t How to Reduce It
By Htdison C Peters.
aTju'""iiuuuriJinni n i- - ' j
We are sincerely sorry that the ball Is
to be called off, because we would have
liked to have seen it held In the Bureau
of Engraving and PrlnUng. Arrange
ments could then have been made to
have a sufficiency of dance programs
on tap If they have such things at the
1. b. which would be an unheard of
thing at a ball.
While we think of It, were you ever
able to write anything with the pencil
attached for a few seconds to a dance
You Know Our Policy.
G. S. K.: Mr. Sam Singer suggests
that I send you a Joke, as jou some
times print humor. Here goes:
And the same gentleman suggests that
ue break ground for a "waste motion
series." his Idea of the kingpin In this
line being to wave at a passing railroad
train. Our own conception of the most
useless expenditure of energy Is making
a speech In Congress. Any others?
"The Latin-American republics," says
Gen. Rafael Reyes, "lovs Ellhu Root
and they love Mr. MacVeagh."
For which one must slip it unreserv
edly to the Latin-American republics.
If we could love that duo we'd engage
a good harp teacher and go out and
vcy speculators' prices for seats at the
And now the game is ended, for
Departs that dainty actress, Miss
Public spirit note: The Inaugural
fund yesterday Jumped 53.S0.
Oats. Barley. Rye. Potatoes.
29- S IS 91
20 H 11 93
60 35 25 200
29 K 19 131
30 23 " 17 118
31 23 17 133
44 33 27 19J
Snatching a Brandt from the burning?
M. Raymond Polncare was yesterday
elected President of the republic of
Paris, Versailles, and environa.
II nous faut decherlr.
O. S. K.
2. Increase the Yield, Extend the Areas.
E European farmer makes the A merlcnn blush, with, double the. yield
an acre forabout all grain. Is there any excuse for such laxness or
Incompetence as these figures show?
AVERAGE AN ACRE.
United States 14
Austria ...J lfi
United Kingdom 33
If American farmers would raise food crops as Europeans do, we would
not have to pay as much for our living. Even Russia beats us seven bushels on
With o er BO,0O,O00 acres In wheat. If -ue split the difference between Ger
many with twenty-eight bushels an acre and the United Kingdom with thlrty
three bushels, we should, instead of a 700,000,000 bushel crop, have bad a crop
of oer 1,600,000,000 bushels, more than twice what we did raise last year. Yet
these European fields were under cultivation for centuries before the ships
were builded which landed Columbus on our shores.
In every calling except that of farming nt have demonstrated the superiori
ty of American efficiency. Corn is the American grain king. So adapted are
our soli and climate to its growth that. -we produce "5 per cent of the world's
crop. Yet within forty years our average production of this crop has fallen
from 26.2 bushels the acre to 25.4, and ue have about reached the maximum
acreage which can be devoted to corn. This steady falling off in the yield to
the acre means a net annual loss to the nation of $50,000,000. If by scientific ag
riculture we had regularly increased our yield of corn one-fourth of one per
cent a year, or 10 per cent In forty years, our national wealth would have
bien Increased last year J170.000.0CO.
If In forty years we had advanced In wheat culture as eBlgium did In thir
ty, our national wealth would have Increased i600.000.000 last year.
Cattle Versus Population.
During the last census our cattle decreased 6.600,000 head. So that while our
population Increased 21 per cent, our c attle decreased In number 4.7 per cent.
In 1900 there was In the United State s one sheep for every citizen. In 1910 only
four to ten persons. In ten years the n umber of sheep growers decreased 152.
000. In ten years the number of cah es f ell from 15.000,000 to 7,000.000. (Perhaps a
law preventing the killing of cales and lambs for three years would solve the
meat problem.) How can we sustain our raplly growing population with a
steadily declining food supply? Remedying the serious condition of our agricul
tural life Is as Important as an Investl gatlon of the Beef trust.
We submit that national aid for the promotion of agriculture Is the question,
that needs our most serious thought. Vo r the food supply Is a matter of prime
Importance. We spend annually upwa rd of seven hundred mllllns to meet the
ordinary expenses of our Government, w hlle less than 1 per cent of our total
appropriations go to aid agriculture, an Industry which feeds, clothes and sup
ports 45 per cent of our people. Six hundred and twenty-live million dollars to
Improve our rivers and harbors, against J67.000.000 to encourage agriculture and
develop the country districts.
A Need That Is Neglected.
Millions upon millions are spent every year for Federal buildings to beautify
our cities and towns and add to the convenience of their Inhabitants, but noth
ing for food and roads and to increase t he comforts and conveniences of the
C400.000 farmers of the United Stnt-s. for the 41,000.000, who reside upon our
farms, and where over 11,000.000 persons over ten years of age are at work.
Let the Government give our fanners better facilities for transportation,
better means for communication with the outside world and better roads.
Let the rural mall service be extend ed until the dally mall reaches over
6.400,000 farm' houses; -and, above all, better opportunities for education. The ab
sence of the graded district school cont rlbutes to the depopulation of the coun
try. If we cannot get the silly moths that flutter around the city candle back to
the soil, let us do what we can to mak e country life so attractive that the
young men mow en the soil will stay ther.
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- -r jOUR Idea of brlaging family
Y crayon portrait. up to 4e in
1 beards and haircuts for the
men and" making the dressea
of the ladies in them of the mode' of
the year is very good," said Mr. Jarr
very gravely, "but where doe the
large fortune come In that we are to
make out of your Crayon Art Renais
sance and Up-to-Date Fashions Family
"Let me crave your attention and
mental concentration a moment," re
plied Mr. Dlnkston. "and I will eluci
date. I will cite you statistics to prove
my contentions of the financial feasi
bility of mV proposition. You have two
crayon portraits ,
"Yes," interrupted Mr. Jarr. "We
have one Uncle Henry gave us of him
self and one my wife's mother gave us
of herself. They are both horrific. They
make me shudder to think, of them.
They give .me the willies to look at
"Why not remove and destroy them?"
asked Mr. Dlnkston blandly.
"That'a Just It!" cried Mr. Jarr. "If
we took them down Uncle Henry and
my wife's mother would never forgive
us. The first thing the grim originals
do Is to olook for their even grimmer
crayon portraits every time they call.
Oh, if only I dared to chuck them out!"
"That's the wHole premises!" re
marked Mr. Dlnkston. "There are two
sorts of people who have crayon por
traits on their walls. The first sort are
people who like them, the second sort
are people who hate them but(dare not
remove them because they fear to of
fend those who DO like them the
originals. In either case the deadly
spell of the crayon portrait is that the
hair, whiskers, jewelry, and clothes are
so terrifylngly lifelike.
"We could stand for the hard, staring,
expressionless faces, but the wire-edge
haircuts, the early, vintage whiskers on
father, uncle, grandpa, and brother, and
the coats of antique cut and pattern, all
rigidly reproduced with photographic
fidelity, drive us mad with the men.
"With the women we hate the black
alpaca basques when black alpaca
ti.sques are out. the flowing puff sleeves
end rounding curves when stralght-
flttlng styles are In, and Mce versa.
Aim th bancr and the breakfast-bun
tight topknot of hair petrltled on their
Plows ana cramums wneu inir urcsa
lng styles are similar and less awe
seme. Now we will send our expert
crayon reflttirs around.
"Say It Is Aunt Margarofs crayon In
linlr and dress style of 1S7S? And be-
Blde It hangs father's emion when ho
was thin and wore grogans excuse me
If T drop Into the vernacular when he
wore a beard grouped as Gladstonlan
facial smiiaxr a la snore Acresi
father, they win shave- eft the -Hatters
and make him look less llxtf tkrmttflflj
link. s s-" -- :.
"I tell yoUl'.Mf.,laiitorSrentHOiJ?
"we would make mliaoi utof Rt
Lteten. In Washington alone tnere are
tt.ee dwelling heusea.' etala aid-apartment.
These will "average three fam
Wea, each. That Ir 158.088 famines Half
of these families nave crayoa portraits.
Half of theee XaalMes ownlaar crayon
portrait .will welcome our Crayoa
Renaissance and Up-to-date r Faahlos
Farrily Portrait scheme. r
"Our gentlemanly operator wfll visit
our client once a year and renovate
their crayon portrait In halr-dreaslag'
and. apparel. - - jn
"Our plan Is 'satisfaction and -small
profit r Our fee. to keep family' cray
on portraits up-to-date will be only &
dollar a year!
"Think of ltl Onlv a dollar, a year!
Who would hesitate? Would you?.
"Allowing for one-half of one-half
that is one-fourth of the families In
Washington taking our dollar a year
Crayon Renaissance service, that means
a gross Income to our company of $37.
600. Allowing 17,600 of this for salarlea
and supplies. leave a net profit of
"As equal partner we-wtll divide .this
sum, share and share alike. But the.
business will grow,. WewlH cover the
whole United States." we will follow
the deadly crayon portrait- round the
world! Arer you-with me.-or will you
remain a wage slave and a pauper?"
"I'll think It over," said Mr. Jarr.
"Do not sell my Idea to J. p. Mor
gan." whispered Mr. Dlnkston.- "I
would not sell It for J20.oa0.000. Mean
while ahem could you lend ma 10
cents? Thank you. ril drop. Into
Schoomakera. win Gua confidence by a
display of coin and sell him stock la
What's en the Prognnfin
Washington lodzy ,-
Meeting of Joseph Henry Council. No.
207. National Union -.tonight.
Meeting of Canton Washington. 'No. 1,
L O. O. F.. tonight.
Illustrated lecture on" "Industrial.
Dixie." by Claud N. Bennett, the Uni
versity Club, 9 p. m.
Meeting for the organization of a
8oclety for Social Hygiene1 of the Dis
trict, yellow room, tho New Wlltard.
8 p. m. - ,v ,, .,
First "club night" of the Capital
Club. 1347 Pennsylvania avenue north
west. S p. m.
Illustrated lecture on "Tea Growing '
by Dr. B. T. Galloway, National Li
brary -for the Blind. 1729 H. street
northwest. 3 p. m. ,
Annual meeting of the Society of the
Oregon Country, red parlor, the NeW
Ebbltt, S p. m. i
Monthly meeUng of the Mississippi So
ciety of Washington. Pythian Temple.
1012 Ninth street northwest, 8 p. m
Annual banquet 'of the 8oc!ety of
Alumni of Georgetown' university the
New Wlllard, VM p. m." V - p
NaUonal "Kismet." "-and 8p. m
Belasco "Julius Caesar." 2 and 8 o m.
Columbia "Over the River.." Sjis and
8:15 p. m. -
Chase's Polite Vaudeville. SaS'and 8:1$
Poll'-Vaudeville, afterfton and evenbW
Academy "Dion O'Dare," j-.is and Hs-tS
Cosmos Vaudeville. - .
Casino Vaudeville. ' JV 1
'Our rra von rentiers and renovators T.wmm- Zallah'a RnrlMii!r .u "Z-x.
will give Aunt Margaret classic coif- g:u p. m.
fure and put her Into a dress approxl- Qayety "World of Fleasura.' 3:13 aad
mately the present modes. Ana. aa for ttf .,
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