THE WASHINGTON TDIES. WEDNESDAY. APRIL 16. 1913.
PUtLISHKIKviRY KVENINO (INCLUDING SUNDAYS)
uv thk Washington Timls Company.
The Munsei Building, Pennsylvania Avenue.
Frank I. 3Iuncj, Pre. II. II. Titherincion, Spc.
Fred A. Walker, Treasurer and General Manager.
ONE 1EAR (I.NC PINDA H 50 1 6 JIO . II 73 t 3 MO. Pc
Erttreo n. the l'ostofficc at Washington. D C . as second class
lVn,hini;ioii, I), t'., Wednesday, April 16, 1913.
A LORIMERESQUE VINDICATION.
A member of the New York State senate,
accused of soliciting a bribe in connection with
legislation, has been acquitted by the senate, by a
vote of 28 to 21.
Somehow there is a Scottish flavor about the
vindication that brings to mind the distinguished
certification of character that was presented to the
Honorable William Lorimer after his first trial.
OUR NAVAL DEGENERACY.
The general board of the navy has abolished
"starboard"' and "port," and hereafter a boat will
just have plain right and left sides. It is only fair
to say that Josephus isn't responsible. The move
ment to denaturize nautical lingo was started long
before the Raleigh editor became our first salt, and
dates well back into the Taft Administration. Reports
that the outrage had its origin in connection with
the other scandals of the General Land Office dur
ing that Administration have not thus far been
been under constant tcmptatfbn to do the easiest
thing, that is, to stick bj cotton, and because it needs
financial sustenance more than the great Middle
West. Therefore, it is r;iod to see the South awak
ening to understanding of these highly practical
They are social as well as financial and industrial:
questions. The country life conference, which opens
in Richmond today, brings together a large number
of the ablest men in the South, for the discussion "f
these questions. It is recognized now that the South
is full of the spirit of progress. It has absorbed to
itself far more than its share of the benefits of the
Federal Department of Agriculture, simply because
it has been aggressive in demanding that that depart
ment work for it. The rich and comfortable Middle
West didn't realize what it could get out of the
department; the South did, and it is a splendid thing
for the whole country that it did.
Better schools, better roads, better rural sanita
tion, co-operative marketing methods and buying
methods, and the introduction of a system of rural
finance that will make it possible to increase the
number of farm proprietors these are among the
greatest of the South's rural needs. The South
understands that fact. It has awakened to a social
consciousness, an appreciation of its needs. That
is a very long step toward accomplishment; and the
Richmond conference is a proof that the South has
started on the upward path.
THE THIRTEENTH MASSACHUSETTS.
THIS & THAT
Wtth SetHfttmes m Itltit tfthe Other
THE TDJL1T OF IREST By MAURICE KETTEN
JUSTICE TO THE LOBBYISTS.
There are bad lobbyists, just as there are bad
lawyers, merchant princes, bartenders, and preach
ers. But that doesn't justify classification of all lob
byists as bad, nor of their business as necessarily
If all lobbying could actually be stopped, legisla
tion would pretty nearly stop. Congress would be
sending sergeants-at-arms with capiases to bring in
the same people, in many cases, who would have
been excluded as lobbyists, in order to get light and
information from them.
Registering the lobbyists, as Senator Kenyon pro
poses, would probably do no harm; it might do some
good; not much. But wholesale and miscellaneous
denunciation of the whole business of lobbying is
THE CASE OF TY COBB.
Ty Cobb's strike for a salary of $15,000 has
made Georgia's premier citizen easily the foremost
insurgent of baseball. It looks as if Ty were :n
the way of working himself out of a baseball job,
which would be rather more serious to him than to
any other single individual; but if, on the other hand,
he should manage to clean up the $15,000 selling
automobiles, it isn't easy to calculate just what good
would have been accomplished by the baseball mag
nates in disciplining him. His loss to Detroit would
probably cost that town more in gate receipts than
the salarv. and making an example of him would not
be very impressive if he should demonstrate that lie
could do as well at something else.
Besides, who wouldn't hate to see Ty out of
BALTIMORE'S NEWEST DISTINCTION.
It was a Massachusetts district which, in a bye
election, soon after the passage of the Payne-Aldrich
tariff bill, named Eugene N. Foss as its Congress
man, and pointed a straw in the direction which the
political wind has been blowing ever since. Mr. Foss,
a Democrat made over out of a Republican tariff in
surgent, made a wonderful run and succeeded a Re
publican. Now, in circumstances which make its verdict
equally suggestive of the popular trend, another
Massachusetts district elects a Democratic Congress
man to fill a vacancy. This time John J. Mitchell,
Democrat, is chosen to the vacancy caused by the
promotion of John W. Weeks, Republican, to the
Senate. Comparing the figures of this bye-election
with the Congressional vote of the same district last
November, the following showing is made:
SONGS OF THE TARIFF
i5 for lumber, which is put
To sixty million uses
From "leather" soles upon one's
To B. & O. cabooses.
Broom handles, shingles, planks
Laths, palings, staves and pick
ets, Clapboards, oar blocks and hubs
They all will have free tickets.
But some things in the document
Will cheer the local grower:
House furniture, fifteen per cent;
And barrels slightly lower.
Perusing "D," we must admit
Gives meagre satisfaction;
But bear with us a little bit
The next one has some action!
Johns Hopkins University is easily the most dis
tinguished institutipn of Baltimore. It is unique
among educational institutions of this country. Its
place of eminence is now being fortified by the dedi
cation of the Henry Fhipps Psychiatric clinic, made
possible by the generosity of Henry Phipps, the Pitts
This institution, with structures and equipment,
represents investment of about S2,0C0,0C0. It is de
clared to be the uorld s most complete establishment
for the study and treatment of all mental disorders.
Its dedication is an event not onlv to Johns Hopkins,
Baltimore, and Maryland, but literally to the whole f
world of scholarship and medical science. In honor
of this formal dedication statesmen, savants, and
philanthropists have gathered from all parts of this
country, and from ether countries as well The dedi
catory ceremonies are scheduled to open today, and
will be notable both socially and scientifically. Sir
William Osier, as he now is in England, a former
distinguished Baltimorean, has returned from Lon
don to take a leading part in the occasion; church
men, scientists, publicists, eminent specialists n
manv lines, hae gathered to honor the event and
the man who made it possible It is not only a great
day for Baltimore and its famous university, but for
the entire nation, and for the cause of intelligent
THE RICHMOND CONFERENCE.
When people talk about the pressing necessity for
increa.:ng tne vield of this comment's soil, they may
or ma not have the South at the top of. their mincS
If it .n't there, it ought to be The South is the
region to which the nation must turn for very much
the greatest part of tne increased production that
the immediate future will demand.
The agricultural South underwent industrial revo
lution half a century -ago, and is today just getting
a clear vision of its new status. It knows that it
needs to be, agriculturally, a great deal more than
the headquarters of the world s cotton supply. It
knows that it is a magnificent corn and livestock
country; and it is coming to understand that by
diversification of its crops in these directions, it will
also conserve the productiveness of its soil and, in
the long run, strengthen its hold as the source of
The problems of country life are more intense
in the South than elsewhere, because the South has
Totals 35,370 27,552
It appears, then, that the total vote fell off al
most 8,000, or a little over 20 per cent. That can
not be regarded as a large reduction in the circum
stances. Rather, comparing a bye-election for a
single office, to a Presidential poll, the vote of yes
terday was. a very large one. It indicates that an
acute interest was taken in the result. More than
that, the particular issue was at the front, which al
ways makes strongest appeal to a Massachusetts con
stituency, the tariff.
Going into the analysis, it appears that the Dem
ocratic and Progressive votes on yesterday were
almost the same as in November. Apparently, Dem
ocrats and Progressives stuck by their convictions of
five months ago. The Democratic loss wa., a trifle
over 4 per cent the Progressive loss, almost exactly
3 per cent. But the Republican loss was over 45
Practically the entire loss as compared with the
polling of November was sustained by the Repub
licans. It will not do to assume that the Republican
candidate was particularly weak as compared with
Mr. Weeks; the stationary strength of the other two
parties suggests, rather, that the Republican party
appeal was weaker than fie months ago, while the
hold of the other two parties was substantially un
changed. Of all the minor elections that have been held
since November, this one in the Thirteenth Massa
chusetts is the most illuminative, because it was
strictly on national issues, was held in a State where
the Progressives had made a powerful showing, and
was at a time when the Democratic tariff policy had
been crystallized into an Administration bill. There
could be no serious mistaking of what the Demo
cratic party proposed to do. It was a vote on that
party's policy, and the result is that the Democrats,
while easy victors, are shown to be in a decided mi
nority of the entire district.
What became of the 7,000 Republican who voted
in November and d!d not vote yesterday? Mani
festly, they were unwilling to vote an indorsement to
either of the other parties; yet thev were so utterly
disgusted with their own party that they remained at
home. If they had been captivated by the tariff
performance of the Democrats down to this date,
there would have been a considerable proportion of
them to vote for the Democratic candidate. Speak
ing broadly, however, the figures show that they
simply didn't vote at all.
This outcome points with perfect clarity the con
clusion that unless Republicans and Progressives,
who are protectionists can find means of amalgamat
ing their forces, the country is in the way of con
tinuing indefinitely under minority control.
JUSTICE IN THE DICE.
The Boston Americans, our financial
choice for the emblem, are beginning
the season In exactly the fashion that
a team on which we had hazarded our
earnings might be expected to. As
wc lark to lo:k-up. onlv the tempo-rar,-
suspension of the law of gravity
Is keeping them In the percentage col
umn, and the doctors are shaking their
heads. But are we giving up? ARC
we? BulIeUn later.
O. S K.: Get this:
The ball gam." somebody told ma
yesterday, "has been called off."
"Called off!" I echoed, yesterday be
ing a dry and crispy day; "On what
"Wet ones," replied my informant.
D. A. R.
One wonders, these tlmea of Dem
caucusage, how the Republicans are put
ting In their time. Fondering It fur
ther, however, it Is unllkelr that they
note any difference between the pres
ent days and those on which Congrew
(Suggested by A. G J )
Affleck"! Continental H1I
Sam 40 a. m 3T
f a m t a. m 40'
10 a. m tS'10 a. m 2S7'
Secretary Tumulty let the P. R. P..
tear out $9 04 worth of mileage ao that
he could go home and vote for the
lommish form of aovernment, whlcn
a on out In Jcraeclty by 3,913. What
are YOl" kicking about?
Not Interested; We Don't Wear 'Km.
G S. K.: In the matter of shoe shine
reforms, uhv not keep the Black Hand
off tan shoes'
Rc-appeareth the little old last ers
(i) Yes (a) Yes.
J S K To decide a bet. pleis"
Fettle this A sals that the Democrat,
In their caucusUn schedule-bv -schedule
consideration of the tariff, are 'wa lie
liind, II claims tho're running on
schedule lime If jou pick A, then II
a ins and l e versa,
A New York judge permitted a prisoner to de
cide his own fate by his plea. Accused of burglary,
he could plead guilty as a fourth offender and be
sentenced for life; or he could plead guilty as a sec
ond offender, and get ten vears. The accused shook
dice for it, pleaded as a fourth offender, and was
sent up for life. By taking the long sentence, he
has a better chance of parole, but on the other hand
may spend the rest of his life in prison.
It was a dramatic gamble. Incidentally, it was
one of the things that no court ought to permit, much
less encourage. Administering justice out of the
dice box is altogether too suggestive of some other
loose methods that have brought our courts under
Add .Mc('omb Club. The Dcm cau
cus Also all other laucl.
Votes for Women!
I'lf.rn the Itullrtln l
The message was I o.n his (Secretary
Mrvans) dau?litei announcing the
liiitli ul a giaidson to the f'etHr of
State The new arrival, the cablegram
-all has In en named Ituth Ri,in
.No Ciirnnflld Hie patieni tre-a 1 In this
ilt l lit 1 riMnmnn une nut In lint to
uhom h- ha! jcln the iur. i. i leiant
mj haveier (tut tht. urns an 1 I I., war
ranted tie aftumiilldn
Won't That Be Nice?
t 1'roni th Meralrl t
Tin bntimlav night (lancet, at the
fheiv cli. ism dull have lieconit so pop
ulai thai It is expected that the will
be given on Weliievla night
i s yes I thought "l " I) we Wa WALK lb
So Glad) a rTi AV Tup hou.e its Kot
---CJ 1 erooD FonObrtu- S W sx T v- r aC")
Jr,r: xk (m fix -
7 f ) A I fX f J ) (nRCToHNij'
i 4AwT- k I t b p l I liJf A . f HELLO ! "
n t M Wu 1
fiSFffT "N vVHY Don-t ) f f -v ) LET'S PlAV;)
ppaTpc.ii ) Pbu LAUGH f DoMju A . ( HORSE
AND QUIET kIzZZJ (k. ST&AuftcDtW yuOLl "R HN )
V HERE I ' oIKAWBEWcri r2i.WwT v - '
Cly ?) r n SHORTCAKE? VJffijfA A
I w&0 paster ; --JifaHLjr n
llrtAT SOUR NEW ' VviHAve A 1SMT THAT CUTE ) MOTHER ) .
surrounded ey ( s V V v Jn t -. cwldrem ) rf
. : Glad tjr Jt TkttJMr he-is so f iVry Ivf
By John L. Hobble.
Henry Plank ays that he doesn't
make enough money to live as a man
should on his Income.
Deacon Quarts says that he couldn't
go to church with a man on Sunday arfd
then beat him In a trade on Monday.
He would have to wait until Tuesday at
Rev Frost sas that Heavpn or the
other extremity in a state of mind, and
some of Ms congregation are living in
Old Fork sajs that when his wife is
wrong he Just lets her keep changing
her mind until she Is right, and then he
agrees with hpr.
Kverj man should mistreat hN wife
occasionally, so she can have the satis
faction of feeling that she is being
Mrs. Plank sav that all kinds of sick
ness must be contagious because vvhen-i
ever her husband 1 feeling bad every
one In the house suffers
Marriage Customs in
f Many Countries
By Madison C. Peters
His Side Line.
ARRIAGE customs In China v arv widely, yet such a thins; as being
present at "the ceremony, bu t not at the wedding breakfast." Is a
thing unheard of. The Chinese have reduced the business of eating;
to an exact science, and the sign of friendship Is to invite a man to
a meal. Weddings and funerals. In the mere matter of eating, often reduce
all but the very rich to poverty. The Chinese find their highest expression
of "Jo" in eating. And marriage feasts are especially characteristic of the
Every guest contributes a "share" of the feast; not to bring any contribu
tion Is a grave offense against decorum. And guests are expected to give at
least twice as much as they eat. A person who comes from another city would
lose his "face" If he did not give at least twice as much as the naUve of the
place where the feast Is given.
In some regions onl- the women contribute their "share" of the food, while
the men, at that part of the ceremony when the bridegroom salutes the guests
with a prostration, hand over their contributions from 5 to 25 cents.
All 'invited attend either In person or by a representative, and nearly every
woman brings the children along (who give nothing, but add to the expense).
It Is not an uncommon Instance In which a Chinaman is married without him
self being present at all. It Is an III omen to change the date set for a wed
ding, especially to postpone it. And It sometimes happens that the loung man.
! awav from home, falls to return In time, or If a student an examination may
! tondict with the date set for the wedding. And then the bride will be taken
dellveiv of by older members of his family without disturbing his studies.
.Marriages are arranged by the parents The husband pays a sum to
the bride, which In some parts of the country amounts to a purchase, but
Here's a Book
The dnittrs pronounced him iltad
"I hove Jut ifd thit he left his en
tire fortune to public Institution''
"Well, what about If ro vou a n
tcrtfi ' If vou are, I don t wish to be
No. m deal fellow I am not a re
poiter. I am a livvver I lliought vou
irlglit have some w'll-hi. iking to !
ciniif I am an rpen wui-urt-aKPr
J don't want nn of ni inn 1" s
mom v s-lnce h I ref rred lo nit me off
without a dollar I am perfeitlv willing
to work far mv living
Permit me to hand von tv card n
case thev ever uls ti. tr vou for
Itmacv rlase i-meiiiber ii'e I ha f
kept - number of irazv rop, nit of
r&v lums '
A l.i or two more of this weather
will clot the sporting pagts with Juplter-Pluvi-iiiKl-hls-sprlriklliig-tan
fiom w tilth Allah I no ad for the 'Car
den cif - ) pi meet us'
Mi Calluin and uh shouldn t he he?
is local manager of the Western Union
niMMnKfi service. Let the rain pro-n-ed
Or Failed to Mention "Her Long
G S I ''an "' t'H me of a story
wherein some one does rot "gaze with
The OAilghteRs are uinDing up their
UK I'hicaco Itetord-Heiald iin r
"Are vou Mr. I.eftwlch-"
1 nai is mv ninie. i
Yot.r unde oled a few davs ago. ji"mn " Kin grnerauj spenas on ner domes. I ne enter ceremony con
sists in tne relations on oom sides, maKing presents to the brtde and
bridegroom The bride ordinarily brings neither presents nor dowry to
the groom The parents of the bride fix the nuptial da). In the spring, the
first moon of the Chinese jear February Is preferred, when the peach tree
blossoii's The t holie of a luck da is considered so important that If the
talendar should be unfavorable the ceremonj is postponed for several
Weddings are evening affairs, und when the stars begin to be visible the
bridegroom comes with an ornamented sedan, a cavalcade of lanterns,
tlag.s nnd music, to fetch home his bride Reaching the bridegroom's resi
dence, the bride is tarried Into the housP In the arms of matrons, and is
lifted over a inn of charcoal at her door She noon after comes with her
attendants into the hall, hraiing betel -nuts, ard invites all to partake
After some leremonies. in companv with the hrldegroorn she Is led to
another room. when she is unveiled by her husband The cup of alliance
is then drunk together bv the couple A matron the mother of many chil
drc n pronounces the henedntlon
lniring the next three daj s the couple "adore' tht household gods
and pav their respects to their families Then thev return to their home.
where thev hold a reception The first n-onth is rc round of pleasure and
In China it w mild le as preposterous for t bride to appear in white at
a wedding as It would be in America to be In black.
If the wife elopes from her husband she is whipped Should she
marrv another w hlle her first husband was living he Is (or was under the
old regime) at litiertj to have her stian.Itd
IB IMPOSSIBLE BOY." by
Nina Wilcox Putnam, pub
lished by the Bobbs-Mernll
Company, of Indianapolis.
When the spring begins to stir In one's
blood and Is capable of making, one
ready for any kind of an Impossible
series of adventures which would be
scoffed at at any other time or season of
the year, and when the desire to get
out "on the road" and forget care over
comes everything but the desire to eat.
just such a book as Nina Putnam has
written Is highly enjoyable.
Pedro, the hero of this tale. Is as ador
able a joung boy as A. I. Heller ever
portrajed In pen and ink. while his
friend and fellow traveler, Mr. Jones, a
real woolly bear, is exactly the sort of
person one would choose to ramble with,
Called by the gentle art of painting.
Pedro Is unable to continue his wan
derings, so, by a miraculous conveni
ence he meets with a sure-enough art
ist who Is willing to change places with
him. and take his bear and staff In ex
change for a studio and all of the neces
sary artist's supplies, Including some
Though rich, romantic, and ravishing,
the xoung girl who falls In love with the
little artist. Is refused by him. simply
because he Is after all such an "Impos
sible boy." Intrigues of her father bring
that worthy gentleman in contact with
the kind artist who took the road,
fate applies an experienced finger for a
mixer, and the fortunes of all are de
llciously intermingled. There Is a nice
surprise at the end of the story which
is all the better if the reader does not
What's on the Program it
'p IpsHSi r
1 rl I)
Trapping a Lawyer.
A Thing To Be Dreaded.
Uxeunt those DARned puns
G. S. K.
"Is he on the square?"
"Why, he's so honest they had lo
drop him from the ball team. He
wouldn't even steal bases."
N some taes counsel receive answers
to questions that thev had no biioi
nrss to put. which If not quite to
their liking ale what the just!
deserve The following stor of (JeOrSe
Clarke, a celebrated negro min-liel is
a as- in pout On one occasion, when
h"lng examined as a witness, he was
t,evirelv Intci rosaled bv a law or.
You aie in the minstrel busltit's, I
I lit-Heve" ' 'miuirc.l the lawver
Yes sir ' w is tht rrpl
"It not tiiat latlitr a Ion railing"
"l dmi t know lilt what it i. sir
lephVn l ti miiist.el ' hut It W so imifii
liittci than mv f.ithei s that I am
i, il er 1'ioud of It
I "What was vom fathers i.tlllng' be
"lie was h lawvei. replt.il Ctaike, m
n Inn that -, m the whole tourt into
. the Capitol at Washincton th-j
other tUv RepresentaMve Stephen
of 1 cs Angeles Rot to talking about
tuna fishing off the coast of Cali
fornia The tuns. tUhermen. he said, got ju:
in small motor boats with a long line
baited with living fish, and to catch
nnv thing less than a hutidred-poun 1
tuna was no, considered good sport.
At this Juncture he wa- approached
bv a tolored messenger who had over
"-Si use me Mis! th Stephens' -all
h- with a large onsion In hU won
dering eves "hut did o' saj tlev we"t
lUMn' fti' hiinnetl poun" fish in a little
mo ah boat"
"(Hi. vd," smiled tie Congressman;
thev go out veiv freq.it ntlv
"Oollv" exclaimed the messenger, is
If picturing the scene, ain dv feaid
oar of lauclitei as the dihconitlud tlev mUht ketch one?' I'hiladeluhli
law vet sat down. Popular Weekly. Telegraph.
The following Masonic organizations
will meet tonight Lodges Wash
ington cntennial. No. 14. social
East (late. No. il. M. M.; Naval. Xo
4. special. 1 p. m, funeral. I.oval
Arch Chapters Columbia. No 1.
1. M. and M. U. M.. Chaplets not
bullet'neil vnaios.ia. Xo U.
Hrlghtwood. Xo. ' Capitol. No. It.
Hiram. Xo 9 Knights Templar
i'otmai Commanderv. No 3. visita
tion and Installation of officers
KnstcTn Mar Areme Chapter. Xo
The tille-win 1 O O. F. orpanira
tlons will meet tonight Lodges
Kasf.n. No. T. Harmon. Xo. 3
Kr endshlp. Xo IT. and Federal
Citv Xo ." Encampment Mt. Ne
lu X"o t.. degree. RebeUah Degree
-Martha Washington Lodge. No 3
The follow lng K of P organisations
will meet tonlgl't Lodge MU
Vcrron. X" " I'nion Xo .'. I'v th
lan Msners- -Friendship Temple X .
Mil'tarv Department Wash ng
tnn e'ompauv. No 1. drill.
Tl'e follow Inc National I'nion ietui
,tils will inet tonignt Treasury and
National "The Garden of Allah." i
Belasco Vaudeville. 3.15 and $.15 p m
Columbia "Clothts." S.I5 p. m.
Poll's "Old Heidelberg." 2.13 and S 15
Ac.ulem.v - "Oet-Rtch-Quick Walling-
fold 1 . ii m
Cliiise Talking pictures. I to 11 p. m.
Comuos V.uiclev Hie.
Cits' no Vaudeville
1 cum- HU Review,- ; 15 and .15 p.
Gtvetv "Roblnion Crusoe Girls.' J. 15
and $.15 p. m.
a.W - -tis.
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