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THE WASHINGTON TIMES,' SATT"RDAT.' MAT IV 101S. ;pWM jp ,'Jt ,"r Jafc x Tke Gail Engine Takea the Floor. I know rm not esthetic to the view; Nor smell, perhaps, exactly like the rose. I know I sound like well, perhaps 1 do; I have my faults a-plenty, heaven knows. I know that I'm "as tricky as a mule:" And choose Infernal times to cough and die. I know "the man that trusts me Is a fool;" Hy sarb is dirt and grease, I don't deny. I know that there are arms galore I broke; That I'm, perhaps, "a hos with oil and gas." But brother, now that guns and rifles smoke. And hell's a-loose in No Man's Land, -I'm class! I pump, -between -the raids, the trenches dry. I generate the sparks that flash "A. nui" Back home, ' I'm growing corn and wheat andrye; I'm dirty, but you bet I do my bit. Xre sever claimed a halo was my right. I know I'm just a private In the ranks. But. Lord, I snatch those areas through the fight! And, man alive, what I can't do With tanks! I know, oh, yes, that I'm no pampered Pet. I need just oil and gas and my re pair. I've never qualified for boudoir yet; But. brother, when it comes to work, I'm there! I lie stands for hours, out In that fear I ful heat? Did you ever stoD to think about It. When the bitter chill of wintertime Is here. With cold, the bitter cold that bites down to the bone; When a swirling wlud cuts like razor edtre: i And the sting of it is like the burn j of Are There he stands, for hours on end? When you pass him, nod to him, and smile. Suppose you do happen to have to wait? Will the world stop turning just be cause of it? Oh. vm. I know that hard words break no bones. But Shakespeare didn't mention hearts: Those words don't make that man's work seem pleasanter. Suppose you try the other plan Nod to him as you pass, and smile, "Good morning." Heard In ranking. "Oh, boy! She is a beauty. I fell for her the first time I ever saw her. When they showea ner 10 me, i nearly dropped. Lines? You Just ought to see her shape. And when you talk about being swift, she's not slow. either. I don't believe we've been separated what's that? Oh. yes; she's a sis. Got her last week. "Stop. Go." : We pass him by without a thought. Unless, perhaps, he halts us A moment at the crossing then we glare. We almost think of him as if he were Merely part of the scenery. Yet be neath That uniform there i't es -a man. Be neath -T That shield against the dark blue serge There beats a heart, the same as yours or mine. Did you ever think, when the summer sun is blazing: When pavements soften In the scorch ing glare: When all the world's a-flre with heat; When the boiling sun drops horses in their tracks; And humans pant for breath; When ambulances rush to answer calls; Unpublished Proverbs of SoUmosu j r& VXO (Editor's Xote These valuable docu ments, appearing exclusirelu in The Times, were discovered alter the fall of Jerusalem, dratcn on the hide of ffugu bird.) , The ProverbofJosephus Hleka 1 My son. fret "not thyself against thy fate. What if the maiden hath secured' thine goat? Mayhap 'twere better far. For harken thou: 2 In seven States that said "Thou shalt not speed." Josephus Hicks had slept In cells. And in the jail of village where he dwelt A mattress was that at him like his clothes: The turnkev asked him things about the jail. mOrray 8 Cylinder 83 Horse Power Just Arrived Full Line of 1918 Model $z,suu up 3 The judge and Joseph spoke as brothers twain; He sentenced him each time without a speech Which Judges never do. 4 There came a war. Josephus Hicks Maintained his speeding habits as of yore; Then came a draft. S Then came, alas, Josephus, gnash ing teeth And walling walls. The Dumber 'gainst his name Was hundreds twain, and two-score ten and eight. And lo! Josephus Hicks led all the rest. C Rebellion sore he then performed. He found that he wast sick, yea, very sick. He found ha had dependents, sore In need. He found himself with scruples. War wast wrong. 7 He found that he wast needed for his biz. He found his eyes were bad. His stomach weak. He found himself a total loss for war. And then, at last, he fonnd himself In camp. 8 Time passed. Josephus dwelt In '. camp. Until, perchance, he went abroad. 9 Time passed. It was but yester day I That came a missive, writ Some where in France. And signed. "Josephus Hicks." 10 "My Mother." thus Josephus quoth therein, "Thy son indeed Is well. And indeed. Sufficient clothes he weareth. Fret thou not. II "His spirit, too, Is well and full content A general's chariot he drtveth to and fro. And there be none on earth to stay his course. At six and sixty miles per hour. At last. He speedeth to his heart's content. And sings A song of praise unto the war. And thou Shouldst see thy son a-scootlng down the road." 12 Therefore, my son, fret not thy self against thy fate. SPEED MANIA DECLINES, SAYS W. L KISSEL ' Snrialiv rlMiMiprl. custom built bodies to vour order. A full line of parts for all 'Murray" Cars on hand all the time. WANDEYNE CO., Inc. 1226 Conn. Ave. "That there Isn't as much stress laid on speed or freak performance when purchasing cars Is proven by the great reduction of 'arrests tor speeding,' " says W. L. Kissel, sec retary and treasurer of the Kissel Motor Car Company. "If you tell the average purchaser that the car will make sixty miles an hour, he now throws up his hands saying: 'That Is faster than I want to go. Twenty to thirty miles an hour Is my limit.' Tet a short time ago, the same man would probably have thought It necessary to go siz zling along at fifty to really enjoy himself." BRAKE INSPECTION MOVEMENT STARTED The success In bringing about the proper suppression of glaring head lights has turned attention to the ne cessity of Inaugurating a movement to prevent the posslbllly of accidents, due to Imperfectly adjusted or defec tive brakes. The plan of the movement is to ask every motorist and truck owner to have his brakes Inspected by author ized Inspectors at the beginning of the season and at frequent intervals thereafter. An official seal could be devised to be placed on the car show ing the date of last Inspection. Amr may bar yon from the trenches, but It does not blot k yonr progress to the collector's office with yonr Income SATISFACTORY RESULTS! n"nMSMsnsnBnnnnnMmnnnnm Mnnniinttsnsn.iliinmnnni(Hnnnnnnnnnnnnna.BBBBBSI mmmmmmaggmmgm " W ,,,' . "innnnnnnnn! r 5hr 3f atumal SrUnmr JTfcrXaturraHSiurtcsnrn.&a? WAJHIK6T0K.O.C. HIIMMawM CUytca Graff. I'Al 7 .U ?., 1217 SO, J91B "-'e cr. Slad to Isrora isa'thit tho "aj-Se- eitculen rtlch 700 laiiallel oa ow Tori truer a fcwa TBrj-utlifactor? as per du oar aeilln; to .eijsstty. "It fcss itooj th,tejt la city sal ecBatrj itllnrj. Try tral; jvm. 72 iCasiii S2ISCE. Ttf&UeOi, ft iiJlUit 7rutu-tr. f 1 f A Picture of The Ford With a "Hydee" Extension Ued by the National Tribune Loaded to Capacity With MaO. A Letter Praising the "Haydee" From the Assistant Treasurer of the National Tribtmi The Quickest The Cheapest Jhe Best way to transform a small Ford into a large truck The "Haydee" Extension 130-inch wheel base, 7V2-feet loading space. One Ford will do the work of two. $65 Put On "Ford" Commercial Bodies of all types. Clayton Graff Dist. for D. C, Maryland and Virginia 1341 W Street N. W. North 2360 Washington, D. C. 30 Miles Per Gallon! How Near do Xovl Come to That? "More Miles Per Gallon" "More Miles on Tires,, a a Maxwell Motor Cars S-Pua, Car . . $ 825 Reaotur .... 825 5-PaM. Car with AJJ Weatiar Top . 933 5-Pasa Sedan . . 12Z5 i-Pio. Town Car 1275 AS srtaM t . V. OMnlt Win whttli itsdar ttuiinnai wfa MuulTm Cm H. B. Leary, Jr., msTHini'Tou 1321-23 14th SL N. W. Washington, D. C. Phone M. 4105 M. 4106 "Claims are all right but only proofs count." That was the caption to a recent Maxwell advertisement. You've read it of course. If you didn't, you've missed something. In that advertisement we stated no claims were made for Maxwell motor cars that had not been proven. For example, that 44 days and nights non-stop test during which a standard stock model Maxwell covered 22,022 miles at an .average speed of 25 miles an hour, was made under supervision of the A. A. A. officials every minute of the time. That test made the Maxwell the long distance champion of the world. It proved the reliability of this car. Then we set out to prove that this Maxwell gives a greater mileage per gallon of gasoline than any other car. First we asked 1000 Maxwell dealers to'make, all on a certain day, a "gasoline economy" run. They, did, and the average was 27.15 miles per gallon "Goodl" you say. Yes but not for a Maxwell. Big as the mileage was, we knew it wasn't what an average Maxwell ought to do. General Manager Flanders had a hunch that one thousand Maxwell owners would .beat that record to a frazzle. You see, he figured it this way and events proved he was right: The average dealer or garage man 13 a "bug" on carburetor adjustment. He thinks he is an expert. If you ask him, he will admit that he knows morr about how to make a carburetor and how to adjust one than do all the Maxwell engineers! ,a ''.."" He'll admit that reluctantly and bashfully 'tis tnie but if you are adroit you1 can extract the confession from him. So Mr. Flanders opined that these experts had very carefully adjusted their carburetors and failed to obtain the results they should. And he figured that owners wouldn't do that they would just drive their Max wells as they came from the factory. And, let us say here, just as it comes from the factory, a Maxwell is pretty nearly a perfect automobile. "-'-- So we offered $50,000 in Liberty Bonds, to be divided among Maxwell owners, for a gasoline economy test. We hoped one thousand would enter more than three thousand did. Such is the enthusiasm of Maxwell owners! The conditions were that only owners or members of their own farnilies could drive, and the car must be their own." - The observers must be local newspaper men, or owners of other make3 of cars. Get the point? Of course you do owners of other makes would naturally be critical and just a trifle skeptical. But we had another object in this we knew that every Maxwell would carry three prospective buyers if the Maxwell made good under their own supervision. And we knew it would! A little red tank holding a fraction of a gill less than one gallon was furnished each contestant. Attached to the dash, that tank attracted a lot of attention. "But why the fraction less?" you ask. To compensate for the amount of gasoline held in the tube running from tank to carburetor. , Each owner drove till his tank was empty then he had to stop. And those three thousand Maxwell owner-drivers, over all kinds of roads, in all climates, in every state, averaged 29.4 miles per gallon of gasoline. Every record was attested under oath too. One owner actually made 51 miles on his gallon. It was almost incredible but a careful checking of the route, measurement of the tank and statement under oath o?the three observers proved he had actually done it. The 500 highest obtained mileages ranging from 35 to 51 miles Our plan of inviting owners of other makes of-cars to act as observers and checkers, worked out fine thousands of sales can be traced directly to that. " In at least one case, all three observers sold their other cars and bought Maxwells within a month! Our dealers had a lot of fun too with those little red tanks afterwards. Here's a typical case. Maxwell owner enters. In tones of undisguised skepticism says, "I see some owners average 29.4 miles on a gallon of gasoline. Got any cars like that to sell? I'd like to buy one." "Why, you have one already your own Maxwell will do as well or better." "You'll have to show me," he replies. "Why, I don't average eighteen miles per gallon." "I'll show you," laughs the dealer. In a few minutes a little red tank is attached to that Maxwell. Owner himself measures the gasoline and pours it in, and the owner drives. And in thousands of such cases no owner got less than 26 miles out of his gallon. From that time on, you may believe he was a Maxwell booster, right. Many Maxwell dealers still do and all should keep that little red tank on demonstrating cars, to prove our claims of gasoline economy. It is an unanswer able argument positive proof. And we challenge any other car to prove its claims in the same way. Sensational stunts can be performed with one selected motor, in the hands of experts and in ideal conditions. Almost any motor car will perform creditably then. But for three thousand cars of one make and of all ages 1915, 16 and 17 models each driven by its own owner; each over a different route; in all parts of the country and on the same day, so that all kinds of weather from tropical to arctic were encountered; To average 29.4 miles per gallon under such conditions that car must be a 'Maxwell. WB !