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e:D'I torial p a'g e OF THE WASHINGTON TIMES WASHINGTON JULY 26, 1918 y Profit-Sharing. mMmngmnm Who Has Been Discredited? Tbo Bureau of Standards with its ninminating troths; or t& Telephone monopoly -with its -whirligig maneuvers. THE NATIONAL DAILY Bee. U. 8. Patent Office. ? ARTHUR BRISBANE. Editor and Owner EDGAR D. SHAW, Publisher Entered as second dina matter at the Poitofflce at Washington. IX C. Published Every Evening (Including; Sundays) by The Washington Times Company, Munsey Bid?., Pennsylvania Ave. Mall Subscriptions: 1 year (Inc. Sundays). $7.50: 3 Months. 11.85; 1 Month, C5c rniDAT. jtitiT a. mix. T "GOT ANY MORE?" Asks Death JThe Child Labor Employer Answers, "Come Tomorrow " for the Next Lot" Where money is concerned in this country you must be emphatic -if you want results. j The picture printed here is emphatic, and ought to help do away with child labor, help in the construction of some law that wiH forbid a tia-n to change the lives of children .into dividends and corpses, and at the same time noi offend the Constitution of the Eepublic. Bv a divided vote the Supreme Court decided that Con gress had no right to forbid transportation of child labor products in interstate commerce. This decision, reflecting the best legal judgment ,of the majority of the Supreme, Court, puzzles the ordinary citizen who, blowing that this is a land of freedom and justice, , cannot understand that the Constitution, which allows us ib send men and billions to defend children in Belgium, should not let us pass laws to defend children here at home. Voting by women will probably improve the situation, end-perhaps put a different complexion on the Constitution of the United States as it stands now without making any change in it. The Government has power to forbid transporting from one State to another cattle, swine or horses, that have con tagious diseases'. ' . A Supreme Court of the United States, overruling the Hew York court, decides that citizens have power, through law, to protect mothers of children against excessively long Hours of work, and against night work that would injure Americans in the future. ' If laws can protect the mother, why not the child? v If the United States Government can forbid transport ing from one' State to another a horse with glanders, WHY can't it forbid the transportation of child labor products, infinitely more dangerous and poisonous than glanders? Is not child labor a crime? If it is, isn't the product of child labor as criminal as the product of the burglar's trade or the counterfeiter's? The Government can forbid the transportation of coun terfeit money or stolen goods. WHY can't the people stop the profit-sharing shown m this picture? How long must they wait for its end? Try to Analyze Yourself Be Your Own Chemist When You Enow What You Contain, You WiH, Perhaps, -Know What You Can Hope to, GET OUT OP YOUESELF. I r - ' - sLbLbWSILbi iHmisI siaiaiaiaHjvSfslKftJlaH f siaiaiaiaBKaYlsBrMIYIV !EBlfflffll lsisiMMsBireyllBWflliaM Willi v i HsBsBsBsBUibS9h liiS I SsKMiWlsflBVivMltl HHlHHKffiiilfXHMIIWtliHl U slBffilllflllfilHll r-, flHIHNnlHvRlillll Mill .- . , 'nrasHBHIsKiNMii ilpiK ". IHMaHMsTMsVMwMHlBVM HI Will'.) llsBflBn!raWHllliHsP In Mfi HssaWnHlnlHllllBMBV I rsLlkiw" -l,J : nHRiStt H' .; 1 : Mr. Wilson, of Eighteenth street northwest, writes a letter, asking voriuus quesuuua. acre us an extract: Will you write on the following: What are the qualities that make for success? How can one find out the work one can best do? Our tastes may pot be a test, as we have ability for other lines than those in which our tastes direct us often. Do you think astrology, palmistry or phrenology a guide? Mr. Wilson is one of about eighty millions .of Americans that are asking, "How can I succeed?" It is THE American question. Magazines are published simply to answer that question. All millionaires are begged to answer it, over their signatures. Clergymen deal with it Occasionally. Modern college presidents make it their Specialty. I This, reader of ours, Mr. Wilson, goes at the old, old question in a very sensible way, when he asks: "How can one best find out the work ONE CAN BEST DO?" That is a very wise preliminary question. Most of us simply think of what we WANT to do, without taking the trouble to find out whether we CAN do the work or not It is with most of us as. though a cow should decide to lay an egg, or a duck to give milk and Jhen spend the rest of life blaming the world for failure. Analysis of your own character is the great preliminary to successful effort first make up your mind what you Aft"1- FIT FOB, then go at it. There are many doctors that should be digging ditches, many lawyers fitted for anything but concentrated mental work. A little self-examination, with modesty and self depreciation for a foundation, might have saved them much disappointment : No, we do NOT think palmistry, phrenology or astrol ogy of any value as a guide to character. Palmistry is amusing foolery. Astrology was the amusement and profit able game of the would-be wise before they had Rai. knowledge to guide them. ( Do you think a rabbit born out f in the lot, just as the Congressional Express was passing, isgoing to be influ enced in life by that Congressional? Nol Then how can you believe that when you poor little insect-were born It could make any difference what point the great planets or suns had reached on their travels? Phrenology enables human beings to hear compliments .at a very reasonable rate each. p There are a thousand kinds of well-shaped Heads we know they are well-shaped after we know what they have produced. , Anybody can tell a microcepEalic idiot at a glance, and (Continued in Last Column.) - h The gold goes to the child labor exploiter, the bodies of the children go to greedy old Death. A Supreme Court decision has temporarily thwarted the effort of the Presi dent and Congress to end this profit-sharing. (See Editorial.) Husbands Act As Maids And Get Abuse WHAT Is your idea of cruelty I. It yon are a reason able person, you might as well sire up this conundrum Immediately, you'd never guess it, in a thousand years, for the answer is: "One who makes a botch of powdering his wife's back." Ton will find no such definition of "cruelty" in the dictionary, or set forth in even the worst of the "best sellers," or on the stage, or the "movies." Nowhere outside of a comic sup plement, or in a court room with atrial in progress, a trial aug mented with all the pomp and panoply of the law, would you PM such a definition of cruelty. The scene of the interpretation of the term was St. Louis, wherc it was brought out In evidence given in a divorce suit. "He pow dered my back clumsily!" said the lady, and the twelve good men and true gravely reflected on the atroc- .ity. The husband stoutly defended his skill with the swansdown. Where beauty camouflage was con cerned, he was an artist of exper ience, goodness knows. But his wife greeted his most conscien tious efforts with cries of "Clumsy" andTwre;" she would have none of his back powdering. The wife further complained she was obliged to eat cheap meals at By a popular priced restaurant while visiting Atlantic City. Again the long suffering husband explained. She ha4 eaten a $5 meal and then decided she wanted syrup and I don't know the outcome of the case, but the initial proceedings seemed to indicate everything go ing in the ladys favor. No pret ty woman need have the slightest fear in convincing a male jury that cruelty lies in following a five-dollar meal with "wheat cakes and! ," or anything else she may be clever enough, to in sinuate. If you haye any doubts on the subject, just go to see Barry's "The Legend of Leonora" the next time it is in town. Another lady from Columbus or Indianapolis, I've forgotten which, testified to cruel treatment her husband no longer laced up her boots! It seemed that in the early days of their marriage he would become cross if she denied him this privilege. But now that she has grown stout and "stoop ing is a real hardship" he goes out leaving her to her fate light boots eleven inches high! And so it goes, until one is tempted to inquire why did these ladies marry? Was it because they were in love, had similarity of tastes, the same ideals, or to Beatrice Fairfax. domesticate unsalaried ladies' maids? Vanity would appear to be, their ruling passion, and you can't live "by vanity alone, and keep your husband or your friends, either. Even the prettiest woman becomes a bore when her life is ordered j wholly on the back-powdering. boot-lacing, gown-hooking basis. In time the most faithful of gal ley slaves will rebel and the eleven-inch boot remain unlaced, the back unpowdered or powdered badly, and the evening gown re main unhooked. Every night is John's night off and who can blame him? Perhaps he meets casually some woman who is coftipanionable, some one who has an idea above boots, and backs, and dress hooks, she wouldn't have to be very won derful to appear fascinating by comparison. At least, she repre sents "mystery," he doesn't know every sordid detail of her "get-up." The intricacies of a woman's toilet are uninteresting even dis illusioning to the on-looker, de spite the marvelous results that downright homeliness often achieve by reason of them. But there are some things that should remain skeletons in the feminine locker. For instance, there Is no one in all the world a woman knows weU enough to cold cream her face before. She may regard it as an obligatory rite, she may knock off ten years as a result of her efforts with the grease pot, but a glimpse of the process Is the death of romance, mystery I was going to say respect. But some women good women, too smear their faces with cold cream put up th'ejr hair in crimp ing pins, draw a flopping "boudoir cap" over the combination of hor rors and go to bed to sleep the sleep of the just and the unthink ing. Why is It that the type of man who marries a selfish woman of this son is usually a thoroughly good fellow who accepts his slav ery for some years at least without a murmur. Of course, the woman who has domesticated a ladles maid, will probably not care very deeply if he -wander, unless she will miss his talents as boot-lacer, back-powder-er and jrown-hooker. But If she should happen to value the man beneath these rather excresent gifts. let her take heed. In time the whitest of hacks may become monotonous, the daintiest foot a bore, the prettiest gown a weariness to the flesh. Remember that ladles' maids are proverbial ly flirtatious, and fond of seeking new situations. , LET THE WEDDING BELLS RING OUTMWMeMWMwwM, 099 999 WYoo (T7m) T7 (nT) -NApS&ny x JUST ) r SHOULD-BE P-t J A,6" 7 HEH'. UJOKA lovjeLv ) MEED S J UE J jS 1 MYoo I Kc!t XfiVEtY SZr . ... ' -. . By EAEL GODWIN. The million-dollar lawyers of the telephone monopoly are now engaged in the pleasant summer-time pastime of try ing to discredit the Bureau of Standards in its wholesome effort to tell the truth about the local telephone snarL All I have to say is that if the Messrs. Marye and Syl van, for the telephone monopoly, succeed in discrediting th.3 Bureau of Standards' as completely as the telephone mo nopoly is discredited with the general public, it will have been a good Job. This isr not a remarkable statement to anyone who has followed the telephone monopoly's attempt to get a few mil lion dollars to'which it is not entitled. In thexopeninff hours of the hearinirs the telephone com pany put up the red, white and blue, gave three cheers for "" u a nu wur&er aim uecutreu mat tux ii wouvcu was to reduce the service, and that it did not want more, money. That it was proven that the service bdrden here Is not as great as elsewhere. Then the telephone comoanv threw off its patriotic dis guise and appeared in the rags of a mendicant, begging for more money from you and everyone else in .Washington, on the ground that it couldn't live. It said it had installed so much new system that it was just about, broke. Then' it was shown conclusively that most of the new installation was for the War Department, Navy De'partmentfWar Risk Bureau, War Trade Bureau and the enormously increased Government establishment It is known that the telephone monopoly wanted to make the individual subscriber, the home owner, the merchant and professional man pay for the Govemmenfs wartime use of Vie telephone. The telephone- monopoly feared to charge-the Government the regular rate you and I pay, Because tfknew the Government could install its own phone system much more cheaply. The telephone monopoly representative promised the local company would install automatic phones, which are as superior to tne present system as a six-cylinder car is supe rior to the One Hoss Shay. Then the Man Hfafutr Tin in tfut binrrnnnfo rornt hnflr en Jf rtr-t sentattve here and absolutely refused to promise an automatic system. And in addition the Public Utilities Commission asked ttm tplpnrirvnn mrmrvrmlir linw mnoli ?V'titi11 inol 7.nll -. automatic system. The monopbly said it was absolutely imnossihle tn tp.Tlf r frier fn nn -armr nf rollrnrv Than .1 came" 'the United States Government with figures from aa automatic manufacturing concern one which the MQNOB OLY is trying jto Mil and presented a succinct statement that to install a system here with 80,000 stations will cost a lime more wan $,uuu,uuu. . WHO .HAS BEEN DISCREDITED? HEARD AND SEEN What's become of that hundred thousand gallons of cream the milk dealers claimed to have In storage? H. P. WHiUAlIS, an old soldier, who lives on R street (no address given), complains that the Ice wagon driver on his street will not stick to the food administrator's regulations. I The food administrator ruled that in the city you can go to the Ice wagon and get 10 pounds of ice for 5 cents. That means you must take the ice in the house yourself. If you have it delivered to your ice box the proper charge is 60 cents a hundred pounds, and you can buy as little as 10 cents' worth. Mr. Williams complains that his driver told him: "Yes; they tell you you can get at the wagon 20 pounds for 10 cents, but the ice company have got that fixed, and we give only 16 pounds. I would have to pay for it myself if I gave you more." Something wrong there. I would advise getting all the facts and send ing them to CLAEENCE WILSON, food administrator. See that smile on CHAELIE CO LUMBUS' face? If a a new baby . . At least halt a dozen men were hanslos: around the door of the Ixry l&nd automobile license bureau on Twelfth street this monitor at 9:1B o'clock. The place had sot opened. This from CHAS. F. ROBERTS: Just another one of the old "Capi tol Hill boys," with a few words he wamts to get rid of aaent tho "xtesn boat" question, r The W. W. CORCORAN and tha LADY OP THE LAKE were boti bought by the insurance companies; The CITY OF WASHINGTON Ida J" recau. ine old ilAKY WASH INGTON I remember very weU. Sha went to pieces some years ago; the only boat that was ever able to get to Octac-nan. I believe that- the WAKEFIELD was renamed the HARRY RANDALL, or some other name, and is probably plying thai Potomac as of yore. The JAMES TOWN was sent to the Jamestown fair, I believe, and I have never heard what became of her. WJiafc fllvmt ttia UII'L'I.CTAB . JOHN W. THOMPSON? And who does not remember' the ARMENIA, which was burned at Alexandria; the famous band, and the little strain which always amused the kids so much as she plied the Lower Cedar Point: A penny for a spool of, thread, A penny for a needle, ' Chars the way your money goes. Pop (the whistle blew) goes tha whistle?" M. F. D. says: TVm't -mm MnV- it- .01 . V tor demand a strict adherence to the there are so many military men at uio urnti tvny not declare sucn regulations as the salute, etc, off as soon as the men leave their camps? It is more or less a joke, any way, and I have seen & bunch ted' m officer, string out in singia uie ana compel me poor "TTlfr to salute individually to the last man. Try to Analyze Yourself (Continued from First Column.) anybody can tell a head well formed and promising or a head ill-shaped that is about all there is to that. -It is the inside of the hickory nut, and of the head, that counts not the 'accidental outside shape. "Whatever the wise phrenol ogist knows the common sense man knows. The latter knows more, for he is not blinded by theories that he wants to prove at any cost. "What are the qualities that make for success?" It depends on the success that is made. Citric acidmakes a good lemon. It would make a very poor peach. Imagination of high order might interfere with a com mercial career and the lack of it would necessarily ruin a poet. A trained nurse requires instincts different from those of a Tamerlane or a Blue DeviL Our qualities and their possibilities pf usefulness are as numerous as the fruits and flowers. Each one of us should try to know what is IN HIM, then undertake the work that he fitted for. Don't be the round peg in a square hole you will waste your life trying to make the hple round and finish rl unsuccessiuiiy.