The Washington times. [volume], January 17, 1919, FINAL EDITION, EDITORIAL PAGE, Image 20

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gp,T0ofVATLHEPAGe WASHINGTON
TIMES WASHINGTON
JANUARY 17. 1919
THE NATION AL DAILY eflggjfcfr
r.?f. U. 8. Patent Offlc?.
i AHTHUK BRISBANE. Editor and Owner
.......a s.?tt ?
~ Published Every Evening (Including Sunday*) by
The Washington Times Company, Munsejr S-. Pennsyiv^nia Ave^
Mall Sub?rlptlona: 1 year (Inc. Sundays). >7.50: 3 Months, >195. 1 Montn. aoc
FRIDAY, JANUART 17. HI*
The Interesting Prohibition
Experiment
It May Load to Others as Important. j
Thirty-eight States, two more than the necessary num
ber, have ratified the Constitutional amendment making
absolute prohibition compulsory throughout this nation.
This nation, as far as the law can make it so, will be abso
lutely "dry." All alcoholic stimulants that can be called
"tittoxicafri^g'' will be forbidden. It will be one of the
most interesting experiments in legislation ever made, and
the world will watch the working of it with interest.
Mohammed made the experiment a long while ago, and
was able to m^nt-a-in it by the force of his will and the
teachings of his religion. But his Arab followers were
' nearly all of them normally drinkers of water. Those that
drank at all drank too much. The experiment with the
mixed population of the United States will be more com
plicated and interesting.
The bead of New York city's health department is
planning especial precautions to discourage the sale and
use of drugs. He anticipates that hundreds of thousands
will be added to the number of drug fiends, already very
large. The matter of drugs should also be taken in hand
by the Federal Government. For, if it is possible, as
every winn hopes it may be, to prevent the manufacture of
whiskey, which can be made easily, cheaply, and secretly
by the most ignorant man, it ought to be possible to pre
vent the making and distribution of drugs which require
special laboratories and scientific knowledge.
Hitherto the conquering, successful nations have with
out exception been meat eaters and users of alcohol. If it
be proved now that the use of alcohol can be stopped
absolutely without detriment, the next experiment doubtless
will be along the line of vegetarianism.
A race could be made highly efficient, accumulate great
wealth and get plenty of sleep if it could arrange to live on
water and vegetables. The fact that the realization of this
plan has not worked out well among Asiatic populations or
prevented famine in India does not necessarily mean that
it would not work with a more highly developed and an
equally docile northern population.
Forty Different Plans?
And Henry Ford's Queerness.
1 i
There are before Mr. Wilson forty different plans for
a League of Nations. And each of the forty plans contains
forty possibilities of disagreement and war later.
The fact is that none of the nations is thoroughly civ
ilised?not one keeps its head when war is suggested or
national pride questioned.
Some of the nations are partly civilized. The major
ity, including some that claim the right to "self-determina
tion," are in an absolutely savage condition, some ruled
by brutal superstition, some by equally brutal, half-baked
anarchistic theories.
Not forty, nor forty thousand, schemes would solve per
manently the problem of such an agglomeration of conflict
ing interests, all based on selfishness, the desire, secret or
confessed, to rule and to get more than a fair share.
Not forty PLANS, but forty CENTURIES, will solve
the problem that confronts the world, the establishment of
peace, permanent and sure.
Peace will come when men stop stealing and wanting
to steal, stop frilling and wanting to kill, when they no
longer mistie superstition for religion, when they no
longer hate each other, as the lower animals do, because of
a slight real or imaginary difference.
That day is a long way off. You remember how "the
walrus and the carpenter were walking close at hand.''
They wept like anything to Sep such quantities of
sand.
If seven maids, ?with seven mop?, swept it for half
a year,
Do you suppose, the walrus said, that they could
get it clear?
I doubt it, said the carpenter, and shed a bitter
tear.
Seven maids with seven mops could not sweep up the
land of the ocean. Forty plans for forty Leagues of Na
tions could not sweep up or control the forty different kinds
of brutality and of hatreds inherited from barbarous and
animal ancestors.
Statesmen trying with a peace meeting, a League of
Nations, self-determination, and other pleasant phrases to
dispose of the world's problems, at one sitting, are like the
lady that tried to mop up the ocean.
Henry Ford seems to know very little about the value
of money. Many Americans could teach him.
He made ships for the Government to fight submarines.
An investigation started by gentlemen who do not like Mr.
Ford's methods brings out the fact that Ford was the only
contractor who put up his own money for the expense of
Government work. Also that Ford wanted his company lo
(Continued in Last Column.) ,
When Hubby Comes Marching Home Again
By T. E. Powers
CH BJLL /M So
<fLAO YOURt BACK,
you HAVE BEEN
FOR.
yEp, JVB BEEN
A W/4Y FOR
2yEAR.b.
PEAR.,
tr SEEM So QOOD To HAVE
Wou fiofaE AIN A A/^(,
S- ?
Down and Out Really Is Good-by Today
THE Down - and - Outer went
downtown with me the other
day?I wouldn't have missed
the experience for the world.
He isn't really a down-and-outer
at all; he is just tired of things in
general and his own special game
in particular, and he has sense
enough to rest a while and get his
energies together.
But people don't know that, most
of them, and so, because he isn't
as busy as he was and doesn't
make as much fuss about things
and isn't in evidence everywhere,
they thinl; his time is past and
that he will never be of piuch im
portance in the world again.
And it is the funniest thing to
see the way they act about it.
Who're "They"? Oh, just the
regular, everyday people who al
ways hear everything first, and be
lieve it before the first syllable of
the news has had time to cool.
The first day it was a little,
blue-eyed, baby-faced woman, who
is always so sweet and so dear and
so sympathetic, and always so
ready to do when the one who asks
her is not down and out, but up
and in it.
Studies in Surprise*.
She iet us at the entrance to
the club where she gives luncheons
and teas and things. It is much
more imposing than a simple
apartment as a background, and,
whisper, it costs leas, if you man
age it right, and she knows how
to manage it?trust her for that?
little Miss Blue-and-Babvish.
Skimp a bit on the cakep, have
plenty of hot water and not too
much tea, serve lemons and very
little sugar, and there you are,
quite a smart affair for next to
nothing, and you can always blame
it on the service and the club if
any one is really hungry
I always thought Blue-and-Baby
ish had lovely eyes?they are so
big and so blue and she has such
long lashes, curly ones, vou know,
like the lashes the doll has that
should sav "Papa" and "Mamma"
if you squeezed her just right?
but, dear me, they will never look
pretty to me again, those blue eyes.
They were all right when I first
saw her?she was saying goodby
Down-and-Outer the change was
just getting into a really grand
By Winifred B1 a c k
machine?but when she saw the
Down-and-Outer the chane was
almost startling. Those eyes that
had been so soft and luminous
were suddenly as cold as ice and
as hard as srlitterinsr Bteel.
"How-dy-do?" said Mrs. Blue
and-Babyish, in a high voice that
sounded like water gurgling from
the ice pitcher, and before the
Down-and-Outer could answer she
gave me a sweet smile over her
shoulder and a pitying look and
swept away.
If fle had really been a down- |
and-outer I should have wanted to
go after Mrs. Blue-and-Babyish
and give her a good shaking, but
as it was the Down-and-Outer and
I had a lovely laugh over it, and
then we went on and met the Tired
Business Man with the jovial
laugh and the shrewd eyes. He
was in a great hurry when he saw
the Down-and-Outer. I don't think
Once-Overs
Copyright, 1919, by International Feature Service, Inc.
WHEN YOU FEEL OUT OF SORTS.
You don't want to be a grumbler, nor show you haven't grit to
stand the ordinary pain it causes just to live and perform your nat
ural functions.
To a certain degTec you are right in this.
But nearly all serious ailments give some indication of their exist
ence.
The warning may not be very painful nor annoying, and you
stand it.
This allows time for the disease to spread unchecked from the
incipient to the dangerous stage and before you give up and receive
the attention which your condition requires you have gone beyond the
power of any earthly cure.
It is not the sign of good nerve to endure and neglect the warn
ings of nature.
Why neglect to do what may ward off a serious attack ?
After a moment's sober thought, are you not foolhardy to trifle
with health?
You may believe that a divine power can cure al! disease and it
can.
But divine power won't do for you what you can do for yourself.
Heed the warning, accept the assistance which silence has been
permitted to perfect, and save time?perhaps your life?to your fam
ily.
What's Doing; Where; When
Today.
Binquet?In honor of the construction
division of the United States Army at New
Wlllard Hotel, 6 p. m. Kdward J. Mehrer.,
editor-in-chief of the Engineering Nc*i
Ilecord, principal speaker.
Anniversary?Eagle Tent No J. Ind?
pendent, will celebrate seventeenth anni
versary In Rschablte Hall. 304 B street
southeast. 8 p. m.
Meeting?Political Btudy Club at resi
dence of Mrs. J. Campbell Cantrill, 1309
Iienyon street northwest, 3 p. m.
Concert?U. S Soldiers' Home Band
Stanley Hall, 6:15 p. m., conducted by John
S M. Zlmmrrmann.
Meeting?District of Columbia Branch of
the National Association for the Advance
ment of Colored People. Twelfth ?tr*;*t
branch of Y. M C A . * p. m
Motion pictures "All Baba and the
Forty Thieve#," Central High School audi
torium, 3 and I p. ra , for benefit of Red
Cross. i
l<ecture?Dr. CharN-s C. Swisher, Y W.
C A , 7:30 p in
Dance?Oeorgnlown Community Center,
Western High School. H p m.
Meeting?Friday Evening Social Club,
Park View School. R p. m.
Meeting?Wayfarers' Club. Thomson
School, Twelfth and I. streets northwest. 8
p. m.
Meeting?IJttle Players, Wilson Normnl
School, 8 p. m
Address-?Congressman Scott Ferris, be
fore Oklahoma State Society, Wlltvn
Normal School, 8 p. m
Address- Former President William
Howard Taft. "League of Nations," before
National Geographic Society, new Masomc
Teinple, 4:45 and 8:15 p. m.
Tomorrow.
Meeting?Mississippi State Society. I'll
F street northwest, 8 p. in Congressman
Wimble will speak.
Meeting - Society for Philosophical In
quiry, Public Library building, 4:30 p. if.
Edward 8. Steeie will spe?k- P i
I had ever seen him in such a
hurry before.
And we stopped the shrewd man
of affairs for a word or two, and
then we met two or three others
sauntering ahead of a gay group.
Finding the Real.
The Down-and-Outer used to
play golf with them and bridge
and give them suppers and din
ners and things. They were dread
fully embarrassed when they saw
the Down-and-Outer.
But one of them took pains to
be very cordial indeed and some
how that made me want to cry.
And the Down-and-Outer's eyes
were suspiciously bright, too, I
noticed. But we went on down
the street together, and in three
quarters of an hour we took the
measure of at least twenty dif
ferent persons that we both
thought we knew very well in
i deed, and we didn't know.
The Beuuty that I had always
thought a heartless girl was de
lighted to see the Down-and-Outer.
She stopped and asked him all
j kinds of questions.
" Where have you been? Why
didn't you call up? What have
you been doing? Have you for
gotten your old friends?"
The little nobody who had al
most been counted a 'nearly some
body" when the Down-and-Outer
was in his prime?because he had
taken a fancy to the little nobody
?was the worst of all. He was so
nervous for fear some one would
see him talking with the Down
and-Outer that he could hardly
bear it, and it was a relief to let
him go into the nearest doorway.
"Well," said the Down-and-Out
er, "I wouldn't have believed it, I
really wouldn't, and I wouldn't
have missed it?not for worlds.
"Will vou promise me to take
this same walk with me one year
from today when I suddenly de
cide to come back?"
"I will, indeed," I promised.
And if I am alive and the Down
and-Outer is alive?and not down
and out at all?even in appear
ance?I surely will.
I like to know something real
about the people I meet so casual
ly every day?don't vou?
Copyright. 191*, by Ncw?p?prr Kratura
Service, Inc. Great Britain Righta
Keaerved.
The Democratic Platform Promised Living
Wages and a Proper Retirement Law
For Government Clerks.
By EARL GODWIN.
When a gentleman arises and asks his constituents for
their votes he makes certain promises which the people
demand that he fulfill in return for their support.
When he says that he will support a protective tariff
or that he will support a free trade bill, his voting con
stituents who elect him have every right to believe that he
will do exactly what he says.
If he makes a promise in order to get a vote, and doe*
not keep the promise, tfien he is a trickster.
Suppose, now, we look back to the Democratic plat
form, framed in June, 1916. Casting an eye ove* its planks,
we read the following:
"We hold that the life, health and strength of the men
and women of the nation are its greatest asset, and that in
the conservation of these the Federal Government, wherever
it acts as the employer of labor, should, both on its own
account and as an example, put into , effect the following
principles of just employment:
, 1. A LIVING WAGE FOR ALL EMPLOYES.
7. AN EQUITABLE RETIREMENT LAW PROVID
| ING FOR THE RETIREMENT OF SUPERANNUATED
I AND DISABLED EMPLOYES OF THE CIVIL SERVICE,
TO THE END THAT A HIGHER STANDARD OF EST!
CIENCY MAY BE MAINTAINED.
Gentlemen of the Congress, you are about to appro
priate a hundred million dollars for sufferers in OTHER
countries; you are about to embark upon reconstruction
work that will remake the world, and by its very character
the world will judge whether or not YOU are a large or a
small outfit. Do something for your own employes.
Take this advice: Keep your promise to pay a living
wage to Government employes, and also enact just and
equitable retirement and pension laws. If you want to do
the right thing, make these laws; if you want to the in
history as big men, pass these laws; or if you merely want
to hold your jobs, pass these laws. The day for exploit
ing voteless Government employes has gone by.
HEARD AND SEEN I
H. M LE DUC. of the stamp di-1
! vision, Postoffice Department, who
1 was an officer in the civil war, I
i whi'e on duty here in the quarter-'
I master's department in charge of I
warehouse No. 4, once received an
order from Major James M. Moore,
of that department, which he wiahes
he had kept as a souvenir. It was
an order for a coffin for the body
of Abraham Lincoln, to be aent to
the house on Tenth street north
J west where he died. The remains
i were to be conveyed to the White
! House. The coffin requisitioned
! was the ordinary kind used for the
I burial of soldiers.
What has become of that marvel
ous self-playing banjo, which was
the great outside attraction at that
movie show on D street where t rank
Ward started hie dairy lunch many
years ago. Was that self-player the
only one on earth f
LOUIS MELIUS says: "Among
the dangerous places for pedestrian
traffic, that at the sout^ side of
Twenty-second street and the Ave
nue, at Washington Circle, may be
particularly mentioned. There is a
'car stop' at that point, and pas
[ senders nearly always waiting, es
I pecially in the morning. The reck
1 less way in which motorcycles and
automobiles swing around the cir
cle there, the extraordinary speed
maintained, and the disregard
shown for the safety of the people
getting on and off the cars make
the recent instructions of Major
Pullman to policemen in the matter
of the fifteen feet halt of particu
lar importance."
BRIGHT IDEA FROM TWO OF
FRANK NOTES' BRIGHT
YOrSG *1N.
J. R. HILDEBRAND and MAX
KAUFFMANN suggest using the
Sunday night meteor to mark the
grave of the children's favorite. I
refer to our late friend "DUNK," the
elephant who died not many months
ago.
CLARENCE SMITH, of 1?27 Thir
ty-third street northwest, not only
sends me the text of "How Old Is
Ann?" but has it all worked out.
Some day, maybe, well print it.
January 24 will be my birthday,
and I would like some one to give
me a good idea to use in this column
on that day. Don't all speak at J
once.
And the other Important mat (or
January 14. I gather from MRS
DOROTHY DE MUTH WATSON, Is
that the Washington branch of the
National Story Tell en' League will
present RICHARD T. WTCHE that
night Richard will gin on an wa
ning with Uncle Raman and peraoaal
recollections of Joel Chandler Har
ris All this good staff at the Wileaa
Normal School Auditorium.
"And nuidtntaUy,'' My* Vrs. Wet
so*. "tk* ashman called en Fair
moni street th$ other day for tk*
fir?t tmu tine* Ckrx?twa*.m
GUS JULLIEN say* that the men
tion of the ctopleas skip-stop on R L
! are. n. e. remind* him of the time?
twelve years ago?when ha had te
place a large bench acroas the R. I.
track to get a car fen atop. JOB
SKINNER, a veteran motorman
(?till in the W R A E. service, un
less I am misinformed) got down
from the car to remove the bench.
SCOTT C. BONE, late of hera. la
in New York at the head of the Re
publican party's publicity work.
I was up to the Capitol the other
day and received from BILLY COL
LINS the lnformatioa that his ashes
land trashes had been removed after
I a wait of three weeks.
LEVI COOKE has been to Chkaga
and back.
And JACK MOORE'S fur-lined
coat Is the niftiest thing outaide of a
fashion book.
THAT FIRST MOVIE SHOW.
The first moving-picture house
that the public attended was at the
corner of Tenth and D streets, su
perintended by a young man nsmed
McCrystal. who formerly kept a gro
cery or delicatessen store near the
corner of Fourteenth and U streets
(east side). This McCrystal was the
first party to take tickets at the
Pickwick. Before the Pickwick
opened there was a theater on Four
teenth street between Swan and T
streets (the first one on Fourteenth
street); and one on D street between
Ninth and Tenth streets, midway the
block: and a theater on Seventh
street opposite the Patent Office
The first one on Ninth street is there
now; the first one on the A venae
was the Pickwick. C. E. KINO.
Fourteenth and S Sta
FORTY DIFFERENT PLANS.
(Continued From Firit Column.)
do the work at cost, with no profit. This wasn't allowed
under Government rules.
Thereupon Ford, who owns fifty-eight per cent of ths
Ford Company, gave up all of his share of the profit on
the Eagle boats and other Government work, which amounts
to some millions.
The other day he raised the pay of his twenty-eight
thousand men one dollar a day each, making the m'r'""1"1
pay $6 instead of $5 a day. This means giving to his
twenty-eight thousand workmen more than eight million
dollars a year in increased pay.
If the Ford habit should spread, it would be hard on j
the Bolshevist and other radical leaders?they wouldn -%"
have anything to talk about. But men unlike Ford will
keep Bolshevism alive