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THE WASHINGTON TIMES. SUNDAY.1 AUGUST 24.' 1919.
I m Rube Goldberg's Boobs Copyright. 1T19 By II. U Goldberg. e UFE'S LITTLE JOKES NUMBER SIXTY-TWO Copyrlffht. 1919. By n. L. Goldber By Goldberg WKSmp 4 il?!Htt. bbbSbk fri i P a V 4HSzf e HbbbbbT "$ 'J SbbbbbK OP iajHISKBT AMts GlM CbULkM'l 3V C?UITB JOOUcSK, "MTHS. T "THAT KAM "bfc-lMKS;1 st 1 1 CETA MLX FAR Too bis - 3BAceFUL for. loop's :' OUJ,"OlCtAOLAS eRie. PeUfcETJMlS UJteK KE SAJ A SAvLCOM, -W THT SAlb, ALL OF UreS . HLL ALWAYS BE SAF PRcM no BRAins AkttRJEWJ, I'M avl uPser- You'S- -hajo ii (n t- S i a-t FOR blMMT AM YbOfcMou) U36" Hr7ie -ncKsrs fbfi .THe -THteATRe, t HA-TG TO HISS -Ttte TV BRST A Crr " v E1LADENS URG DAD B WORK STARTS SOON BABY SQALDED IN BATH; NURSE HELD FOR DEATH Prohibition sAfeb AMGOs fom Moua He "bRiKMcs ice crA 50bA AMb LKeS,eTA.BYHClc ajj-Ulg me -rHooGHrr that TDMC5" UQUOR COULb WVJGR fe HAb CAUSe RIC TO SSdRSTLV (5o TO -THE BrXb. VT'S A QOArrep. 'M eicswr- 3oi06" i'H all il -ro n t bisss' st I'LL BE I (NJ aaj Hour. wo SfcAlMS T Word lias been received by John Higgles, president of the Maryland Go6d Roads League, that work will bo xtarted on the 2.5.1 miles of the national defense highway of JJladena- ourg. eariy next month, by the Plei Construction Company. Sealed proposals containing" bid for the one mile from Camp Parole to Chesterfield are now being re ceived. They will be opened on Sep tember 2. Laying of the Bladensburg stretch was delayed at first, because of the founding of sewerage and water pipe systems by the Washington Sub urban Sanitary Commission along the site. The petition recently sent to Governor Harrington to have the roadway built without further delay has been answered. The governor promise build the road section right away. NEW YORK. Aug. 2-l.--Katherine (Mion. a nurse employed by- Mfehaet J. Kilraartln ef Neponsit, J L, has been arrested on a technical charge of homicide'. According to KUmartta, Miss Mion plaeed his two-year-oH( infant. Michael jr. in a tab. tone on the hot water and left the room.' When the nurse returned she foaeA the baby unconscious and his bod scalded. Kllmartin says, the aura grew hysterical than fainted. Dr. Curran of the Rockaway BeseM Hospital took the baby there, when it died soon after the arrival. JLm 3B!GWfcff!C V ?. DO ROT NEGLECT YOUR EYES In the years that I have been in business I have fitted hundreds of difficult cases of eye trouble. I have made, friends and satisfied patients by the score by my efficient methods and DR. BERMAN'S PERSONAL SERVICE Glasses prescrjid by me are made in our own grinding department un der my personal direc tion. Good Glasses as low as $2. K L-vstwA' Nation's Fastest Job of Shorthand Was Done at White House Conference opposjTe- i Haiti JL bMJ UNTIL 7 RM.. . SAT- UNTIL IO BM. By THEODORE TILLER. One of the quickest and most im portant jobs of shorthand reporting ever undertaken in this Nation's Capital, with its big committee hear ings, Congressional debates, investi gations and departmental and Fed eral court proceedings, was performed within the week at the White House. Several million Americans doubtless read a stenographic report of the con ference between the President and the Senate Committee on Foreign Rela tions. Few knew of the physical ar rangements made for reporting the epochal meeting In the east room. Six of the most experienced and fastest shorthand writers in the coun try reported the conference. They worked in ten-minute relays. After leaving the east room they dictated from their notes direct to rapid typists, and within a few minutes after a Senator asked and the Presi dent answered a "question regarding the peace treaty a stenographic rec ord of what' they sajd was trickling over the teiegrapn -wires inio news, paper offices throughout the nation. All of which makes opportune a storv on shorthand reporting and an art which reaches near perfection in Washington. Wanted Accurate Record. When it was decided not to admit a hundred or more newspaper corre spondents to the east room a compro mise arrangement was made for stenographic reports of the confer ence betv.'een President Wilson and the committee representing the co ordinate treaty-making agency. Both the White House and the Sen ate wanted an accurate record of the interchange .of views. The news papers and public were almost as anx ious. It was impossible to use the phonograph for so long a conference The thought of a dictograph in the White House was impossible. It would not have done, anyway, so shorthand was the thing. There was no prece dent for the shorthand reporting of such a conference, but the arrange ments were systematically and promptly made. If George Washing ton. James Madison, or even Grover Cleveland, could have returned to the White House that day, unques tionably they would have blinked their eyes and retired quickly to their yonder abodes. Six expert stenographers were as sembled. With them came twelve typists. Awaiting in adjoining rooms were approximately 100 newspaper correspondents. Verbatim transcripts of the conference proceedings were sold at cost by the stenographers. A dozen or so copies were purchased and put on the wires, sheet at a time, by the press associations and big newspapers who wanted immediate service. Svrem Alao Present. In addition to these six professional stenographers, the President's own rapid-fire shorthand man, Charles Swem, was present to represent the White House. Swem always reports debate between two men where one begins answering before the other stops accusing. Record Grta It All. Tet the Congressional Record next day records It all and the House stenographers never lose their heads. A capable bunch they are and they I hold on whether Democrats or Re publicans control that body Fred Irland, Rouel Small. Allister Coch rane, George C. Lafferty, Samuel H. Gray and John D. Cremer. Like the six at the White House they work in relays of about ten minutes each, afterward going down stairs and dictating to a phonograph. A moment later a young lady comes along, sticks two rubber tubes Into icr ears and writes it out on the typewriter. The Senate official reporters work in longer takes and sit down at desks v. hile jotting down their shorthand characters. In the House the sten ographers catch the debates on the run, holding their notebooks in their hand and moving about as men in different parts of the hall-address the Chair. Nobody has yet come to Congress with a tongue so fast that it could not be reported in the halls of Con gress1. Former Representative Herman Metz, of New York, who troubled fome of the fast court reporters in New York State, came to Congress v ith the prediction that he would outtalk the shorthand notes. The Made See Your Ice Cream You can see FUSSELL'S REAL CREAM ICE CREAM in differ ent processes of making at any time. Plate glass windows cover the entire J rant of our new home, so that everyone mr.y sec. Yuu will KNOW that it is CI EAN and PURE. Fussell-Yoimg Ice Cream Co he talked well around 2."0 words per minute for considerable stretches. Now and then somebody comes along who can speak 250 to 300 words per minute, but he's reported Just the same. Houxe Hn Foatent Talkers. In the present House Oklahoma probably furnishes the two fastest talkers Representatives Scott Ferris and Charles D. Carter. The latter 15 EVERY STYLE 9 1306-8-10-12 Wisconsin Ave. At All "Quality" Fountains or Cafes, or in Gallon Quantities Delivered whatever the President says, when-lnouso reporters "got him" although ever he says it. He did the same thing for President Taft. The White House also called in Alexander H. Gait, a professional re porter and nephew by marriage of the President. He was on hand to help out the newspaper men with extra copies. Here are the names of the six men specifically charged with responsi bility for correctly reporting the dis cussion and who put down in pot hooks, curves and strange-looking symbols each word spoken: . In charge: Griffith L. Johnson, who does much of the committee reporting for the Senate. James W. Murphy, representing the Senate proper, as one of the official reporters of debates in the upper chamber. Percy K. Budlong, another official reporter of debates In the Senate. Fred Irland, dean of the steno graphic corps of the House of Repre sentatives. Henry L. Francisco, recently of New York, now of Washington, who han dled many big reporting jobs in the metropolis. R. D. Lillie. official reporter for the Customs Court anil a specialist In court and Government work. Not n Word Lost. With these six and Swem and Gait ".-Itting in" the random word at the White House confab had no chance of escape. Doubters may look over these newspapers and find about two pages of printed questions and an swers, the same being the published verbatim report of the Fast Room conference. There were columns and columns of it. ineltiding the use of the President's "Sir" In addressing Sena tor Lodge ami the opening "Mr. Presi dent" of the Senatorial questions. From tli moment the President opened the conferen-e with Lis formal statement to the time more than throe hours later when the Chief K":eeutie ami his Senatorial guests wi-nt to lunch, these slint'i tud v perts worked tirelessly. raf.i'I' and uecuratelv. As eah rpportT Ilnish od a ten-minute "take" a the table lie quietly left the Kast room and a relief man took his place. This re lief stenographer, in turn, worked ten minutes and so on down the line through the six verabtim recorders. o Knplil TnlkerM Prexcnt. Probably no man in the east room was what shorthand reporters con sider a rapid talker, it was the im portance of the subjects discussed rather than the fiuency of .speech which made this a hard reporting job. Perhaps th average flow of language was around 150 words per minute, irarcelv above the yatematie busi ness dictation speed, whereas the shorthand men present could have speeded up to 2o0 words per minute, and might have "humped themselves" for even more. It has been done. Shorthand reporting in Washington is developed to the highest degree. No city in the country laims more ex. pert reporters, because the demand here is constant and the compensation is excellent. The Federal courts. Con gress ami its committees, the Inter state Commerce Commission and other Government departments and bureaus before which hearings are held call for stenographic professionals, and there is work for them all. In (he Senate chamber the debates are long-winded, bdt there Is not the rapid fire oratory and repartee that one catches in the House. Fred Irland and his associates in the lower chamber are incessantly on the Jump, for the debates are often marked In partisan flare-ups, and there is not the dignity, genuine or false, that the Senate affects. Not Infrequently three or four men in the House a'ttempt to talk at once Quite frequently there is a running has Indian blood in .his veins, but he has none of the delibcrateness of the Indian chief when he gets into a debate. Turn Ferris and Carter loose on some topic with which they are familiar, like public lands or In dian claims, and the words fairly pour out. Former Congressman Charles K. Littlefield of Maine was one of the steadiest and fastest debaters the House ever heard. In the famous Swayne impeachment case, according to Official Reporter Sam Gray. Lit tlefield talked for four and a half hours at an aerage speed of 100 words per minute. An average of 150 words per minute in an extended ora tion is considered worthy of com ment. ' Congressmen WIngo of Arkansas, and Phelan of Massachusetts arr among the fast speakers f the pres ent House. Rapid talkers of other days include Congressman Walter I. Smith of Iowa, now on the Federal Bench, and the late David Dc Armond of Missouri, one-time Democratic lead er. Conspicuous among the slow talkers nrA Cnnirrcssmnn Chamn Clark of Mis souri, and "Uncle Joe" Cannon of II- j linois. Former Congressman Robert ' Fowler of Illinois, spoke so slowly and , with such a drawl that the official stenographer just loafed along while he held the floor. As Senajte debates go. Senators Mor ris Sheppard of Texas, and Joe Rob inson of Arkansas, are considered rapid talkers. The rounded sentences of former Senator James Hamilton Lawis, accompanied by gestures which unfortunately could not be pre served, were uttered In somewhat accelerated fashion, but Lewis was easy to report. It in to yonr bent Interest to pnt your Liberty Bond Interest In W. S. S. comvfuoua oum.. VICTOR Red Seal Records McCormack, Caruso, Galli-Cutci; Tetrazziriif Kriesler, Etc. i l? ' 4t. . . : Half Price $2.00 Records, now $1.00. $3.00 Records, now $1.50. $4.00 Records, now $2.00. $5.00 Records, law $2t. $6.00 Records, now $3 M. $7.00 Records, sew $359. Arthur Jordan Piano Go, 43th and G Sts. N. W. 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