IN
Ye TOWN
I WAS trailimg aloag.
nsED A truck.
TEAT WAS :p,,aedp high.
WIT! WOODEN estes.
AND IN the crates.
WIIE COUNTLESS heas.
01 MAY33 chickas.
AND I suppose.
TEE! WEEE on their way.
TO TEE butcher's block.
AND ANYWAY.
TNET MADE me sick.
JUST TO look at them.
AND I blew my horn.
SO I might pass.
AND AS I did.
A SAD red hen.
STUCK OUT its bead.
BETWEEN THE slats.
AND LOOKED at me.
AND I was shamed.
I ATE the things.
AND I looked back.
AS I went ahead.
AND THAT poor hen's eyes.
THEY PLEAD with me.
THAT I let it out.
AND ON my way.
ITS MOURNFUL gaze.
SEEMED TO stay with me.
"Bugs" Baer
Has Some Pointed Remarks.
About Mr. Bryan
By "BUGS" BAEL
"Nuttiest" of the "Nat" Writers.
B ILL BRYAN has turned down the
Prohibition nomination* flatter
than the stuff he wants us to drink.
WM. gave us the party and now
he refuses to go to it.
PLEBISCITE of birthday, sur
prise and block parties i di
cates that this is the first time tht
the guest of honor. didn't go to his
own party.
ILL is A. W. O. L. Bill claims as
precedent the Book of Genesis.
and states that Adam bolted the
Eden convention on the fifty-sev
enth ballot. But Adam wasn't ab
sent without leave. History says
he wore at least one.
BRYAN is the stepfather of Pro
hibition. and it seems strange
that he should refuse a plum just
when he has the persimmon in his
grasp.
DUT what is a nomination to a
man who hops from nomination
to nomination like an egg-shaped
cue ball on a country billiard table?
BILL has his trophy room clogaed
with antlers of nominations
which he gunned during the good
old days when Democrats roamed
the office prairies in countless herds
and nominations were passed from
mitt to m4tt like rain checks after
the fifth inning.
WHY should a man who has been
voted against by the best peo
ple in the restricted suburbs ac
cept a nomination which phoneti
cally spells sure defeat? That
would be no novelty to Jennirs.
RILL is acclimated to defeat. But
Lhe likes it with a slow fuse.
H E doesn't mind being in the old
saak, provided they only sew up
the top and leave the bottom open.
The old frontier blockhouses had
loopholes in 'em for shooting, but
politiCal blockhouses use the loop
holes for exits.
A LTH OUGH he can spot a rain
bow in a glass of pump juice,
where another guy can only pipe a
germ, although he uses grape where
another yam demands canister, al..
though he gets bright and shiny on ,
the stuff that rusts and corrodes,
Bill sees no nutrition in the ProW~
bition nomination. -
A GUY can give away something
he hasn't got, but the bird who
receives it won't get it. That's
tough to figure out, but it means
that Bill knew any Prohibition
nomination was like a plus check
drawn on a minus balance.
* HE old boy doesn't believe in
nyztting all his bad eggs in one
~asket.
UNLIKE his illutrious prdces
fish for whales in a bucket.
TO BE A VEGETARIAN
Pearl White has about decided to
become a vegetarian. While on loca
tion near Pineville, Ky.. where ex
terior scenes for her latest Fox pro
duction were filmed under the direq
tion of Charles Giblyn, she became
very fond of a little ealf. fihe stop
ped at the barn one evening to play
with it, as was her custom. But the
animal was conaspicious by its ab
In answer to her query about her
ittle friend, one of the farm hands
answered laconically: "Tuh et him
for' yer supper, Miss."
DOROTHY GIS.H SAILING.
Mis~s Dorothy Gish, accompanied, by
er mother, will sail from New Tork
August 12, for a brief vacation
Iroad. This will be the first rest
Viss Oish has enjoyed since her ad
E GOSSIP
u. a. rasest oSee.
C. 8.
AND I recalled.
TEAT A friend of mine.
05C ON a time.
HAD A feathered fowl.
Of TEE sterner se'.
AND EE called it Abe.
AND I knew Abe.
F3OM TEE early Spring.
WREN EE Arst appeared. .
AS A little chick.
AND I liked Abe.
IN SPITE of the fact.
THAT HE had no feathers.
ON HIS neck.
AND WAS bald elsewhere.
AND VERY red.
AND ONE Sunday.
WE WERE there to dine.
AND CHICIENS were served.
AND MY friend's little girl.
PIPED UP and said.
"WE'E EATING Abe."
AND I think I gagged.
AND I'M worried now.
FOR FEAR that hen.
WILL BE served to me.
BECAUSE WE'RE going to have
chicken.
TOMOBROW NIGHT.
I THANK you.
MISTOOK STEWART
FOR STABLE HAND
Visitor Wished to Hire Him, But
Shied at Salary
Asked.
One of the particular hobbies of
Roy Stewart. who has been engaged
for an important part in Robert Brun
ton's first feature production, "The
Devil To Pay," is caring for a string
of thoroughbred riding horses which
he keeps stabled at the Brunton
studios.
Recently Mr. Brunton and George
P Huntley. the fatmous British come
dian. made a visit to the studio
stables. In one of the stalls they
found a young man busily engaged in
rubbing down a mount. Upon being
questioned by Huntley the man ex
plained in detail the various points
of the animal and discoursed to some
length on horse in general.
Leaving the place Huntley remark
ed to Mr. Brunton: "That groom of
yours seems to be a very intelligent
fellow."
"He is." admitted Brunton.
"Wouldn't mind hiring him myself.
What wages do you give him?"
"A thousand dollars a week."
Huntley gasped. "A thousand dol
lars for a groom!"
"Well, you see." drawled Brunton,
"He does a little acting for me on the
side. He's Roy Stewart, you know!"
Huntley spent the rest of the morn
ing buying cigars. "
THE ORIGINAL VAMP.
Alice Hollister. who is out on the
Goldwyn lot now. claims to be the
woman who put the vamp in vampire.
She played the title part in "The
Vampire." which was one of her first
appearances on the screen. Miss Hol
lister, who wax born in Worcester,
Mass., and educated at the Villa
Marie convent in Montreal, has ap
peared oniy in pictures. She played
a prominent part in "Milestones" re
cently filmed at the Goldwyn studio
and now is working in "The Great
[over."
WEARS 24 DRESSES.
Corinne Griffith wears twenty
four different and beautiful gowns in
"The Whisper Market," her forth
coming Vitagraph production. The
opportunity is provided by the char
acter she portrays, the wife o~ the
American consul at Rio de ,Laneiro
and the silent partner of a fashion
able modiste.
B.F.KEITH'S'iP
DAlfYI SU.;? HOL'YSE0~'j1
"Better than Ever"-Herald
Famew r Soit o"hils*Fls"
JAZBAND isIWit tHarriet 3
A (Great Pregram. IMarie Mc('onnell.
"The Man Mat" with Isolde titan a
Harrison (Garrett. Anger a Packer. Ge~e.
Veonmam a "isste." The Royal Gas.
enieers. FA. P. Ford, Not hen Aros.
Sunday Excursions
Bluement, Va.
Pareellille. Iwenhaurg and Other
Poiats
$2 Per Round Trip
(War Tax Included)
Childrerg Half Fare
Uleetwie Traas Leave Terminat
36th mnd M tets Nothwe.t
.A:30 a. mn.. 0:50 ft. in., 2 p. m. Re
turning local trains leave Blue
montl.1:32 a. in.. 3:14 p. mn.. 5:40
p. m. Lirmited train. *420 p. m.
(last train).
(Oeergetewu Car'e Nake
NO DUST. NO DIRT. NO CINDERS
washtn & Old Domnion
*Parlor car attached. Extra fare
to Leeaburg~3 27ens: to Bueee.~
M ests. ar ts inlude
m i O ff ma r hr W t et . T.
QhdO6e Sap lis~ce _ _ _ _
CHICAGO. July 31.-STreet Car
Coadusetor H. C. Drumbach Is as o MA
Romeo.
""W e'11 I meet you ad at
wha Zl.r"be said to Mlis
L......1Clrma. a..sh. wa. about
to, alight from his car.I
beet gt fre.'" she wared.
The conductor held her arm.
He started to coo sweet nothings -
In her ear. Mhe promptly slapped
his face.
Whereupon he turned cave man.
"'All riEgit. Not off If you want
to.' he retaliated. assisting her
with-well. she says it was a kick.
Her brother. Herman l erman, fu
In a garage sear by. saw wht wasn
transpiring. He started for the
conductor, who was quickly sur
rounded by a chivalrous mob. The
police came. Brumbach and Eier
man were arrested.
"My, but he was rough," com
menpted Louise.
SEES "MARGE" FIRST TIME.
James Oliver Curwoed, who wte
"The Courage of Marge O'Do e,"*w~
which Vitagraph made Into a big,
spectacular special photoplay. saw the AT
picture lat week for the first time. .' ~ In Rf a (edj W
The writer was not in New York Tub W
when It had its initial showing. J ttZ' rnsi"jrss
'WAY DOWN EAST' COMPLETE E i h T I~
D. W. Griffith's production of "Way eA .
Down East," for which he paid $17.
. CRANDAWS 1ih St. at Cetum.a Rawl
KNICKERBOCKER
Natie..e Sunday and SEturday
W SUN.-MON.
ALICE JOYCE
SUPPORTED BT L. ROGERS LYTTON J CK McLBAN AND
OTHERS OP NOTE IN A POWERFUL~ PICT URIZATION OP
JOSEPH LB BRANDT'S TENSE DRAMA OF FINANCE, IN
TRIGUE AND LOVE.
"THE PREY"
Dupplemenated by a Leehmsher ad Cotmtie.. Surres
SNUB POLLARD in "LIVE AND LEARN"
Tues.-Wed-Hobrt Bosworth . . in . . "Below the Surf ace"
Thurs.-FriL-Leah Bard ... in ... "Cynthia of the Minute"
Sataday-Bryant Washburn . in . "The Sins ef St. A nthony"
BIG V OMEDY, "SPRINGTIME"-MUTT AND JEPP
CALWAYS A GOOD SHOW Ninthat
RANDALL'STHEAYZR
W' SUN.-MON.-TUES. M
A GRzAT DOUBLE FEATURE BILL
NORMA TALMADGE
WITH PEDRO DE ORDOBA AND A STELLAR CAST IN
"THE NEW MOON"
SNUB POLLARD IN HIS MASTERPIECE, "CALL A TAXI"
W WED.-THURS.-FRI. M
One of the Meot Eetroordfuary Productions of the Tear .
"FRIVOLOUS WIVES"
With a Coast of Asaooist; Stars bf Conspicuous Eminence
ROSCON (PATTY) ARBUCELB IN "GOOD NIGHT, NURSE"
CRANDALL'S_
" METROPOLITAN *
1 ST. AT TENTH
i r
EiiBEGINNING, TOMORROW 1i
A lavishly staged super-production
into which Joseph Le Brandt, the
j author, has writ ten the most fasci
nating elements of high finance, in- U
S trigue and delightful romance. The ~
* supporting cast, led by L. Rogers
Lytton and Harry Benttham marks.U
the high point of jutdicious select ion.
1p
pa
L...
IN
ALICE .THE
JOYCE / PREY
ADDED ATTRACTIONC
ISNUB POLLARD in a Comedy Hit. "LIVE AND LEARN"
I ~PATH E NEWS-TOPIC8 OF THlE DAY.
NTiOOLTANE AUnuENml, 3YMnONY OREHERqTiA__
AWEnsHo V'iOn. tomm~'cron.
QUAM Q .M~ n mannnananna.
GOLDWYN PRESENTS
THE LATEST
REX BEACH
PRODUCTION
~2 r
rE BEACH A DPAUL ARMSTRONG.
Wl SPECIA L ADDED A TTR ACTION -me
EXCLUSIVE PRESENTATION
PICTURES OF
KNGHTS'0F COLUMBUS
EXCURSION TO CHESAPEAKE BEACH, JULY 13
Were Yeu Theret Are You a Scrve Star 'in Weektf
COME AND 8EE1
w OTHER FEATURES-ee
RIALTO SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA
3ANIEI, BREE:SKIN. Conducting
OVERTURE: "POET AND PEASANT"
SCENIC: "THE GREAT WALL OF CHINA"
WITH INTE:R'RETATIv'E ORCHESTRAL ACCOMPAN(MENT
EDUCATIONAL: "MODERN CENTAURSB"
REPESAT SHiOW11WO BY PUBLIC DEMAND
CARTOON "OUT OF THE INKWELL" POX NEWS
LP S T ODAY FROM
DORIS KENYONO
"Ile Great White Trail" .atar Tis We,,t
M. ST. ,JOHN COMEDY LS IE OA
"THE AERO NUT"
Blanche Sweet
in the moat ramu 1e story E+ver I A a-osP1d1 e
'THEE OUR" AT e. '
The Greatent -ta Ever FestatedO
'e".I ." '' EEIS". .lksd.cMar
O V R T R E " O E A DP A S A N ' S
WITxae hrTAL A CydiKnott.
DfeDUCFmAntinAL YoDER COLTUWS" A
CARTON OUTOP HE IKWEL" LOLIEW
Heavee Eveedr OSetee.te
C LOEW'S
"Thesapeatkie Beaih___________
Wb ~aternbc Resor s
Banch.Steety'unURKdE
on the ntoth Bo rdua Sarvcov er wy osPrdue
Tb rnte frat ervc atn taed
Ad eUn. 3 itd a crcdo. 40c; ..O UM I
itect nfrom WAnyhing Y.
Ha.S a . 3c e e . 0
LAAST MEMESOTODA
THE DENtiu OFepk fllA
WAVERTntonSO , ny Sht d n
at er R e ~ BAR IS AL
on.h mamt B rlk oer hes
Twate. tela Ceerc.90
REEN DCINGS
The lgenstagrce asr sta ofae
ha benenagdovrtL~atrw; Great Falls Park
Ideal-Pitreqne--Nifteele
s~en a njoyble FREE ADMISSION
thebuy eronwihot or o tme S~EE THE SEARCHLIGHT ON
Chidrnlie Ohe das.Adlts 4c;THE FALLS
CopltetrinscedleI.Uvnlg FREE DANCING
| Sunday Concerta
FourTims Daly-Ladies' Orchestr
Mat U. sadc..t.v...... .......
LA S~ IMES TNAY.Lngn amnding ta-PlRid.
FREE ~ ouponif Nome Chaifly. FREEVOpen-id
cents onAdmsshentouA
AD~U~qiN sat nigt 5-ent EleicA Aff. TetrST. m, i
Fir~t ..e., wnem o .im..... t.ag
PALACE
TOIOR5OW VALL W1NK
CHARLES. RAY
-I Ir t% e I1
"HOMER COMES HOME"
EXTRA--UUE S8UET-E an AINTS"--EXTRA
MUTT AN dEW A1U1- tM E EWS-TWIL T -
PALACE SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA
=- + it (FWJ)
C-LUMBIA J
TOMORROW-MON.-TUES.-WED.
' i
ENID BENNETT
n MaM Meew. W." . a
"HAIRPINS"
MiT0NI-fENS.-4EITgiE-STiEI NUTLTIES
of the Evenin
MA BE L I M**ml.h Sail
NOR MAND ""T'*
Um aEoRGE ADE THE MARSHALL HAL
5"SLIM PRINCESS" "nteHAo~ ooa.
K RAISALL 13th aid ol. Rd. Fmu ~~II elca
KNICKERBOCKER tae hrlsMclee
TODAY *eO SSt.wafa a.i.
Reinnfing at 2.30 P. M. ludn arlt
>MARY MILES
M INTER AUEETPR
In NeMateIE" I O1YArAtIN