The Washington times. [volume], June 14, 1921, FINAL EDITION, Image 20

About The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939

Image provided by: Library of Congress, Washington, DC

                
THE NATIONAL DAILY SJU
awwu 0 1 " caft a s" om t. s ato am3 Wr UMot.DNa s@m y
The March
HY, in your opinion, is Japan
building two more monstdr
warships, each seven hundred
feet-long, shielded from air attack
by flying machines as the turtle is
shielded from the hawk; with speed,
guns and broadsides greater than
oursf
Japan doesn't want these powerful
lighting machines for Asia, for in
Asia nothing WORRIES her. She
lives next to China like a ferret next
to a chicken yard. She can help her
,self there.
Japan is not going to fight Eng
land, Franoe, Germany or Italy. She
iknows they would unite to prevent
her conquering the civilization of
western EUROPE.
But what about AMERICA, and
why is Franoe, as the New York
Tirpes special dispatch puts It,
I "showing new interest in Japan,"
and considering her, France's, "role
in the Pacific?" Why are the French
and Japanese fleets to "join in
festivities in honor of the Japanese
Crown Prince? "
Franee loves us, moderately. But
of every 1,000 Frenchmen, 999 are
convinced that this country recently
failed to show appreciation of
France's service to us in 1776. And
the other one of the thousand agrees
with the nine hundred and ninety
nine, but thinks that we also failed
to show appreciation of the service
that France rendered us in bearing
the brunt of war against Germany.
None of the big European nations
would CONSCIOUSLY be glad to
see Japan fight, worry and perhaps
beat us. But every one of them
,would UNCONSCIOUSLY be de
lighted, not knowing exactly WHY.
The reason is this:
THEY OWE US MONEY. They
owe us ten thousand millions of dol
ian. The interest is five hundred
millions a year. Their money has
depreciated so that where ordinarily
they would have paid us one dollar
of their money, they must now pay
us two-more than that in the case
of France, less in the case of Eng
land.
F Sims Bell
HE capital offense committed
by Admiral Sims is not that
he assailed Irish-Americans
with opprobrious epithets and false
accusations. That is bad enough
and unbecoming enough, Heaven
knows. But it is not the chief of
fense.
Both directly and by sneering im
plication, Sims has belittled the
achievements of our navy to mag
nify the achievements of the British
navy.
He has said that our naval and
military forces played only a very
subordinate part in winning the
war, and that the British navy pro
tected us from the might of Ger
many.
One of those statements is peril
ously near to complete falsehood
and the other is an absolute and
unqualified falsehood.
It is just as well to tell the plain
truth about the British navy, which
Sims so lands and magninies. The
British navy had two opportunities
to win the war and lost both.
The capture of the Dardanelles
would have opened free comnmunica
tion between the Czar's empire and
the other Allies, and would have
sealed the doom of the Central Em
pires.
At the time the British fleet
abandoned the final attack, because
some of their ships had been sunk~
by Turkish fire, there were just
exactly seven she'lls left in the
Turkish forts.
When the British attacking fleet
turned tail and fled, the Turkish
soldier. fell on their knees as one
man and offered up thanksgiving to
God who had put it in the hearts of
the enemy to flee when there was
no huan hope of nravantine their
of Events -
If we were fighting Japan we
should get this message from Eu
rope: "We shill be delighted to re
main neutral if you will CANCEL
OUR DEBTS. We shall consider
going in on your side if you will
make it worth our while."
That isn't pleasant fancy, but it is
cold; unpleasant FACT, and this
country ought to remember it.
Japan is not building battleships
seven hundred feet long, more pow
erful than any in the world, for mere
amusement. And the son of the
Mikado, who in turn calls himself
and believes himself the Son of
Heaven, is not traveling in Europe
merely for etereise or because he
likes to see the sights.
Mr. Harding and others in this
country ought to keep that in mind
steadily.
There is terrific energy, determina
tion, politeness and self-control in
the well-trained French nation.
Close together you read these items.
One Frenchman wanted to die, Mon
sieur Hue, aged fifty-seven. He tied
a wire around his left wrist, fastened
a stone to the other end, threw
the stone up over a. live wire and
died "par le foudre,'' which means
by lightning.
Then, consider Monsieur Combet,
famous professor, lecturing in Marie
Corelli's drawing room. He felt faint,
dropped dead in the arms of a friend,
saying with a last breath, and a
feeble but polite bow toward his
hostess, "Pardon, madame." ~~hat
is French courage and politeness.
Somebody is prosperous, that
ought to cheer you.
Standard Oil companies, for the
second quarter of this year, paid out
more than twenty-nine. millions in
profits-not counting many millions,
not taxed, of stock dividends.
That is two million dollars more
than last year, three millions more
than the year before. Few business
men or concerns are able to report
such after-the-war prosperity.
ttles Navy
victory had they boldly continued
to advance.
Imagine Nelson or Farragut run
ning away from fire which had
slackened, because some of their
ships had gone down in the battle:
In the battle of Jutland the whole
German fleet was at the mercy of
the much superior British fleet, and
a bold, continued attack by the Brit
ish would have won the war then
and there. And the British fleet
ran away home.
. The ridiculous thing is that the
German navy was not captured by
the British navy at all, but by the
Allied ARMIES, of which Jhe Amer
ican army was one. That is tho
most colossal joke in history, but it
is a fact.
And since that is a fact, where
does this Sims person get his notion
that the British fleet protected us
p or, trembling Americans from the
bold and fearsome Germany navy!i
There is no possible combination
of powers that can beat the United
States on its own soil, and not all
the navies in the world can blockade
and starve this gigantic and self
supporting nation.
The meanest and most contempti -
hle expression that ever fouled and
shamed an American 's mouith was
this wretched and lying claim of
propaganda and ignorance that 're
owed help to the Allies because the
British fleets stood between us aind
the invasion and conqluest of' our
land by Germans.
We owed the Allies nothing.
They owe us everything, swid a
naval officer who does not know
this is not fit to be in command
in the American navy; first, be
cause he is not a good naval officer;
second, because he is not a good
American, and, third, because I.-e
is a plain foot
FOOD
WASWT
A SUCKER
ER5IFE
?RICA'
IF
IT'LL TAKE
F1 DROP?
HUMANISMS
By
--William Atherton Du Puy
One of the most remarkable things about men.
be they of high or low estate. is that they never
grow up.
Take, for instance, that group of elder states
men in the United States Senate. Here is the
trick they were caught playing on Sims. the old
egro barber at the Capitol, who has been shav
Ing them and their kind for forty years.
Sims is a preacher and a great biblical author
ty when he is not shaving Senators. He is pro
foundly religious. He has confidence in his fel
lows:
So. when Senator Harry New of Indiana told
Sims that he had a present for him, the vener
able barber walked into the trap all unsuspect
ng.
The Senator said he wanted to bestow his pres
nt in private. He and Sims went into an ante
room. The Senator squatted down and Sims did
likewise. The Senator took from his pocket a
large-sised pair of dice and rolled them out on
the carpet. Sims watched.
At just this moment a group of Senators. in
he plot with New. burst into the room. There.
apparently, were Senator New and the old bar
er, despite his protestations of religion, shoot
ng craps. The statesmen were horrified. An
eyploye of the Senate had been caught gambling.
ims. of all men, had gone wrong after forty
earaj Sims. whom they trusted implicitly. It
was a case that called for drastic action.
Dr. Robert Koch. of Germany, the discoverer
f the relation that the bacillus has to tuber
ulosis, visited Dr. H. M. Biggs. or the New York
ureau of health. away back In the nineties.
"We have disclosed the scientific principle,"
he said. "and we are waiting for you Americans
o show us how to use it."
Sure enough, the United States has led the
world ever since in the development of methods
for preventing the spread of tuberculosis.
A little while later 1Europe developed an anti
oxin for diphtheria, the most perfect anti-toxin
yet discovered. It used to enst 325 an injection.
The New York hureau of hesith sent Dr. Wil
am H. Park. director of its laboratories, abroad,
and he found out that the anti-toxins were ob
tained from the carcasses of horses. He cabled
back directions for its manufacture and almost
vernight it was being made and distributed free.
Any poor child suffering from diphtheria in any
elorganied American city can now get its
ife saved for the asking.
t is such demonstrations as these that make
the world watch to see whet men of science over
here are going to do.
John L. Cable, of ima. Ohio. is a baby ('on
gressman; that is. he is serving his initial term,
and it therefore happened tha.t he was one of
thoe who appeared before the National Press
Club when it put on its "Baby Night" some time
o. So John told theme journalists a lot of
things they did not know abouit the beginning of
ewspapers.
There are "Gagettee" all over the country, he
said. Almost every town has its Gazette. Well.
o you know why papers are given that name?
it all happened hack in the beginning of news
papers. A newspaper begen as a letter. Num
bers of these letters were printed in the crude
way of the time and began to be sold. In Venice
in those early times there wasn a small coin
nwn as the "gasette." It was the price for
which these first newspapers sold. They took
Ibeir namnes from it. So have Gasettee come into
bing all over the world.
FOR TH(
Mr. B. Baer
PASHION NOTEI,
Woman is like fragile
flower In hot house, which
ii protected from curious
eyes by much glass.
Hot house flower is over
drepsed compared w I t h
fashionable fitpper. Ltest
dope from clothes touts In
Paris Indicates that skirts
are more unpopular than
ever.
The expensive sex are
now wearinlg skirts that
resemble window shades
rnliedup.
Old time long skirts used
Ias ike froaie
fowest ot houst, whand
trimed byituh buckle.
HFtmouse Amoeriet oer
rese copored ton She
fashiontabefliper atnbet
dopefr oma cths toas Our
grindithes were dir
Lr or e une'ur thang
anetr h everwr
nowthing kirats thatn'
roe use as lr
to shwnl whenat epdemit
dnfaown. heerk nothidt
winklow.
sistesht skirt frome Paike
paeonso waist Now her
iris a pipedoall.
raehi oiretebr gon.tmer
gws bcustae fahionbelbw
Mern w? oa. the lamOu
brdot~her wera dicer
ent They werll ustl er
k~ayhn na a twud'
)UGHT
I 4
NoW
Ye TOWNE GOSSIP
Registered U. 8. Patent Office.
By K. C. B.
ONE ARTHUR B + AND YEARS went
Calder. by.
A RED-H*AIRED AND IT came to
youth. pass.
.* *
IN THE "olden days. . THAT IN Canada.
WHEN WE were WHEWalePrnc
boys. . . .i rv
* * * CAME ONhitr.
USED TO trudgze * * *
with me. THIS RED-HAIRED
TO SUNDAY school. *red * *
.0 OF MY boyhood
AND WE called him days.
Artie. .- WAS IN command.
SO I AND NOW I learn.
,- , 4 . * **
ti n . . . I L DO to n
te'9 sGT o ADG
* *
WAS TteWNr'E GOSSI
Regst.e. U.Smatetrc.
"BOE THUR BiietAND YEAR went
m buse s. b
AN I ITRLY n e S on mov
AWED-ACCEPED TAN ATE made..
ytht' ,paF R Esa. t
IND BOT gew das.tATn naa
AN EN u WHEN THc'E rue.
boys. * . .
* C -AM E ONdes to.
USED TOR tud. * *.
.it m. THAT REDHAEDtace
AND WE c alrd hi d.
Continuation
Act Imp
By BILL
"If the BaR rent law is
)ctober RAT. THE POPI
urned out of their homes or
entals."
This is the emphatic ass
)YSTER, now District Commi
of the Rent Commission. Virti
aid to the Senate by every mer
Captain Oytser has been I
3oard of Trade and Chamber
>een identified with the busin
Aashington. If he could con
)refer to see the rental situati
ie has gone deeply into conditi
ng that unless this law is conti
vill encourage construction anc
-CHAOS will result.
No legal restriction can el
lo some injustice, but law is
;eople, and where it benefits
-ight. Somebody has got to
EALF THE PEOPLE of Was
Evidence before the Seni
ipartment and other houses ar
aeing held for a regular RIO1
vent the Ball law dies. If ter
iort of prices for homes thes
mnormous profits to gentlemen
BLOOD MONEY they can g
them to other speculators, whi
!an make big money on thi
tenants. It will be a decided
making millions out of the p
being squeezed to the limit, b
ests of the community do not
iER
Judge-4.e here. Rastus. I want
the naked truth.
Rast e-Judge. dat's lust what it
mas. It ain't ehen get 3. V D.'s en
HARPER'S FERRY.
OH, HELLO!
"Isn:t it strange your wife is so
fond of other articles of jewelry.
Lnd yet she detests earrings?"
"Nothing strange about that." re
plied hubby, "you know she was a
telephone operator before we were
rnarried." OIDONO.
"And then the fun began," says
PAT O'MALLEY, iregarding the
Sims speech in London.
AT CHESAPEAKE DEACH.
The war has long been over
And prieos are on the decline.
But everything, at Chesapeake Beach.
Has raised a couple of dimes.
0. U.
This is just another one of those
treakily addressed envelopes that
sme to Heard and Been:
"B. P.-G. 0. C.,
"T. W. T.,
"1w. D. C."
And here was another one:
"POSTMAN. ATTENTION!
"This letter is not returnable.
So see that it hit% BILL PRICE
In the right epot."
Some directory searcher In the cit'
postofice added this: "Price is the
creator of the dumbbells who think
the postoffice runs a puzzle depart
ment." likewise adding a few com
mnts as to the "elephantine moun
tainness" of the editor.
OUR FLAG TODAY.
The Emblem of Glory
That waves. o'er our land
Has carried the story
Of Freedom. so grand.
To downtrodden peoples
in all parts of earth.
It floats from all steeples.
O! Flag of great worth.
The same Spangled Banner
That waved through that sight
When KEY In a manner
Gave vent to his flight
In song that's immortal.
That Flag of the Free.
8tlt waves from each portal
fDemocr'acy.
That starry Flag ever
Shall stand for the Right.
Wil noe tothe blight
Of tyranny, schism.
Or greed or hlood lust.
It's hue. like a prism
Glows-"Gd our Trust.
THE BOWERY*S SONG.
JUIl.S B. asks about the fa
mouis old song of the Bowery.
Yes, the Bowery is there yet, but
the song has been changed to '"T'he
Brewery, the Brewery, We'll Never
Go There Any More."
OIDONO.
Most any barber whose chair
is nearest a window spends
your time lamping the "janes"
who pass. CH EE RUPADIST.
RURIAYAT OF FAME*'S IRONYI
(JOE CONKLIN was the author of
that catchy ode about the first lim
erick. but his name was accidentally
left off, and he writes this):
How ntiftily that shifty coquette. Fame.
Allures us to sit in Ambitlon's Game.
Where hope of great renown's the only
Then, with her Card of Fats, trump. out
our name.
"3 BALLS FOR A NICKELS"
An Orange county. N. Y., farmer
swears he 'dodged a falling meteor.
That guy could make a fortunte
sticking his head through a canvass
screen at some amusement park.
JULES BACKENHEIMER.
FAMOUS WORDS.
The borrower--'-ou know me. Al."
The card w~ nner "(;uese I better
be going now ; it's getting late."
The irritated wife-"Sit down, you
big ham."
The bargain maker--"Well, seeing
its you,. you can have it for--."
H and S faus-"Bmile with ue."
HARYARD.
of Ball Rent
erative.
PRICE.
not continued beyond et
.2 of Wahington wil be
xomp*led to pay exorbitant
ertion of Capt. JAMES F.
ssioner, and former member
ally the same thing has been
aber of the Rent Commission.
resident of the Washington#
of Commerce. His life has
%s and property interests of
scientiously do so he would
on unhampered by laws, but
ons here and sounds a warn
nued-with amendments that
i remove unnecessary burdens
,er be imposed which doesn't
for the good of the whole
md protects the masses it is
be hit, but it shouldn't be
hington.
te is that large numbers of
e today tenantless. They are
OF BPECULATION in the
ants can be made to pay any
vacant buildings will yield
willing to buy them for the)
et. They will, in turn, sell
le the word passes that ''you
s deal' '-out of defenseless
. pity to prevent speculators
ublic, so long accustomed to
it justice and the best inter
favor this course!
6EEI
Forty ton of chicle, says J. B.,
just arrived in New York to make
chewing gum. Just so many more
contributions to theater chairs and
bed posts.
THOSE COOKIES TOMORROW.
When you buy rookies tomorrow
-and you i'4l1 do to to &dd the
Juvenile Protective Association in
its egorts to prevent delinaquency in
WashIngton juveniles-don't hest
tate to hand out the largest amount
of money you can *par*. You con
wel afford to go to the lmit. as
eured that your money can and wil
be Jud4ctously expended in a splen
did cause.
Whenever you find a man
whose insight into the spiritual
nature of womankind is hazy.
you may be quite sure that there
i nothing the matter with his
outsight upon their physical
nature. F. J. SCHWAB.
Those bankers and business men
who were not invited to the Presi
dent's conference of the "best finan
cial minds" of the country may not
be so sure they voted right last
November! T. C. D.
JU'ST HATS-THAT'S ALL.
0
IL e
AN ACROSTIC.
3 lossoma all along the way.
I would strew today for you;
R oses white and red. so gay.
TI led with ribbona blue.
H eart's ease, I'd find at your side:
D affodils, and daisies sweet.
A nd lilaes once the maidens pride.
Y our floral path would make com
plete. H. SMITEI.
"Over in Philadelp'hia the other
day." writes CONSTANT READICR.
"1 got an order of that old standhy
ham, cabbage, potatoes, coffee and
rolls-all for 25 cent., more than I
could eat. Theyr are getting 40 and
45 cents here. It's a plain case o
profiteering."
A daring cake-'ater said. "O.
some aerial racing for me."
But omethinfg wentt pop.
And he started to drop:
Now flower. for him, tee-he..
ADUSING THE SCHOOL "FRATs."
Wife-You are forever knocking mT
Hubby--Well. I have to break ~bm
some way. haven't I?