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BDITORFAL PAGE SEPT&M~ 9,13
9- ft.l u ~ .@M m is .This a New Fad? STUDENT at the University of Illinois offers to Mail .bimelf for one yeA for $1,2 to any one who will advance him the money to eomplete his college course this year. His pries is too high, but the proposition is interesting. His.prioe is too high.. No intelli .gent human being would make such an ffer, and a human being who is not intelligent is expensive at' 20 a (year. The proposition is interestig be cause it illustrates the contagion of ,an idea. A young girl advertised 'that, she would sell herself to sup .port her mother. A theatrical man ager bought her, displayed her in public for a few weeks, and the public heard nothing futther from her. Young soldiers out of' work in Boston put themselves up for sale. It was clever advertising, but it will amount to nothing. It was really a stupid idea; those who bought were enticed by the glamor of the ad vertising as much as those who of fered to sell themselves. And now comes the Illinois stu dent. He will probably be followed by others. Mothers-in-law neglected by their sons-in-law, convicts out of prison, abandoned husbands and wives all over the country may be expected to offer themselves for sale to attract attention to their wants. It is amusing, it is typical Ameri can hysteria and it will die out. But it is a fad and we may have to put up with it. Advertising is a wonderful science but a nuisance as a plaything. There is no specific remedy for ad versity. Tighten up your belt, grit your teeth, work, work, work, fight, fight, Aght and grin and bear it. Bead the biographies of the great men who passed through suffering to success. They did not advertise themselves for sale. Back to Relgion. UBPRISING and encouraging is the news that our theological schools are receiving more ap plications for admission this year than had been expected. Some have more than they can accept. Little has occurred recently to en hance the ministry as a lure to am bitious youth. It is still painfully underpaid. The hearts of the multi tud, have not yet been sufficiently humbled by adversity to give large increase of recognition to its claims of moral authority. Yet young men are hastening once more to prepare for this precarious profession. This can only mean that the call of the world, the flesh and the devil is yielding, as in times of stress it always yields, to the call of the spirit. Certainly our sad old world offers chances for high service to young men who can brave its perils and effectively point the path to better thing. If among the students now pre paring to study for the ministry are only a few who will-ripen into wise teachers and good exemplars of re ligion, the gain to society will be incalculable. Taxinag Eduatia C ONNECTICUT is now imposing a special tax of 1. cent a gallon on gasoline sold within its borders and also a 5 per cent tax (additional to the Federal tax) on moving picture admissions. These two taxes are in effect taxes on education. The tax on gasoline strike at travel by a'utomnobile, and travel is educational. Taxing the movies taxes one of the agencies of eduastion, as well as of innocent estertuamnnmt for the masses. What would the people et Con neotieut say if their legislature sheaqid propose an admlasma tax to the'inblie schools? It woald be al most 'as aseble as these taxes. Not mss taxesbut inore sofneg is the masa t hsm. The March of Events T E British government has re fused to participat, in the loan of $50,000,000 to 4ussia for the purchase of food. The reasons given are that the food might be used by Soviet soldiers. and that Russia is bankrupt and not likely to repay the loan. England, of course, is more sol vent than Russia. But she pays neither principal nor interest on the money borrowed from us. Many Americans will wonder whether a loan to the British government for the purpose of helping to kill and terrorize human beings in Ireland, India and Mesopotamia is any bet ter investment than a loan. to the Soviet government for the purpose of saving the lives of human beings. 0 0 0 It is impossible to tell what is happening in the Near East. The Greeks have already slaughtered more Turks than there were in the Turkish armies, according to Greek reports, and the Turkish reports are not far behind in enumerating Greek defeats and losses. Both sides seem to have begun. where the allied and German makers of war "news'' left off three years ago. The Greek King is one of the ablest soldiers living, as he proved in other wars, but he has a stu pendous task to face and has car tainly not been supported by the British, as he had reason to believe he would be. If he does win the war in Anatolia, Constantine will have performed little less than a miraele of leadership. Minding Our Own Business. UNDER the title, "Jobless New Yorkers Enlisting in Spain's Foreign Legion," a periodical publishes a picture of a group of young men gathered in front of the Spanish consulate waiting their turn to enlist in the Spanish army for service against the Moors. Technically, the police would be doing only their duty if they landed these young men in jail for disturb ing the peace. To be sure, when a man cannot find work, much allowance is made for his determination to make his living, but if he steals the offense is not condoned. Why, therefore, should his offense be condoned if he pursues a course that may jeop ard the lives of his fellow citizens? The 105,000,000 people who on trust their political affairs to the Government which they have select ed know practically nothing of the merits of the quarrel between Spain and the Moors. When, through the official action of their Goyernmnent, they become involved in a war and give up their lives and their treasure for victory, it is, Heaveu knows, pitiful enough. But when a handful of harum scarum nondescripts, parading as soldiers of fortune, elect to decide upon the merits of controversies be tween states and who, when mis fortune comes, clamor for the pro tection of their native land, it be comes criminal. The soldier of fortune* fts into modern American life about as well as the ichthyossurus. In the case of a dispute between foreign countries it is natural to sympathize with one side or the other. The lees we kn~ow of the merits of the dispute, as a rule, the keener are our sympathies for our chosen side. But when adventurers take up arms as American citisens for a forign anse it is an entirely different matter. It may involve our owa country and osr mw Ad the.. are grand days for aib g.ae m -a CLAMG or MREMDIREM DWIDENI PROSPeM Washington in again infested with si get-rich-quc -eeaes and worthless f for year Liberty Bond& D=O't buy sm reniahi broker. ;EHUMAN" DEAtherton DU Puy - Frederick Simpich, who Is a United Staten cen sul, and has served In Mexico and all around, Was admitted to have told the weirdest story. An Americans had died down at Hermosillo and flimpich was determined that he should have re spetable burial, so he drove the hearse himself and went out and got the dead man.. When he got to the undertaker's this minor was so Inordinately long that he would not fit Into any of the coffins available. This faet was overcome when it was found that he wore arti ficia legs. They were removed and he was In terred. When Simpich got home, the legs, gaunt and spectral, with the pants still on them, were stand ing, lonesome-like, on his front porch, and all the servants had disappeared. They looked quite detached'and friendless standing out there In the smoonlight all by themselves. They, were remarkable legs, the consul said,. having been purchased from a mall-order house in Chicago with contributions raised among the miners. They dould be wound up and a spring inside would fling out the foot In a most effec tive '**AY. "Pine," said a scoffer. "I suppe If you got tipsy your friends could net them to three and a doorr n ile,.and tey would wak uoto yor wihthmonad lepalth imoryu ol eed hm run teconr orapae,.u wht f hy oo antin otun n ut s.o wantd t go roud t thebiliardparor? job at itst Chat anogain T enn it ge-Ihomeica he cme. oandr ortheso-le howtodeich impth and mad a grnit e oftat. utn hasdidrved consie heana aroundie wgra aintedhin ho old tohe wert storynth. f iich a dittlerminedry thatchme hod-aere an wett an gtthe deeasit manr. I e hen he wagone tof the buggertfacores hinter waf sou inordoinlg thatur wold ti not t iou ay thcins availfoable Thinoatws ovenod whenpta bun that are oe aert fThl es e ere remoaeudic nd whe asesn Wn Sm toche oe ho the lgwaunt calln atetlit th oe wonderflluo thm, westnd iha, loeoerike eron hs ron por adcalm-h deace andth fredlss staigi out rei the monighall for thtoe todoblvthngsan do te. wee, retheafae legsthbe conuloned. Ithav oting ~ tuohse fram abu mif~re ousde InChod w it orbutimon raise among the mierjs theat. h on u n asrn inYeo would lngot he foot Inob most efoe tps your rid o udset ei thmt.hrea uater milesfean theyths woulr k p thou doran stop nodr as mhprpoliertoudwl isat withythemro and slee ate foie, o you rul yend them arun the ornerwho a aper, ut wat te yoa not ion e tort turinaginst asyof wne togoaru y to the -adprof,"bt you stmd wayh beamown of a empled But h i mno considr thea posilties==grea Warning! BOeth-tadf agtst, sdi ereign pape. Most of th eurities ftrea strangers I Mr. B. Baer] society. Join Individual Kookoo Klam. Answe o own Questions. Why be lonely when you can be in vestigated by Grand Jury? IL Comes suprem Klam Digger. Then Little Nock Klam After that, Six Elam on InvIs Ible Half She"ls Object of KCOokoo Klam is to per petuate Ideams etamhsed in pamphlet sixteen. Price, eleven bills. IFneighbor's Wyandotts scramble your gdnJust blow three MWu 9""e SIR anrIt ukulele.- Ifnhble Klam Openers Iee I up on traspaent -fiive.u put midnight bounbm on henroost. When lMiam goe awyfomtee pikn aredede tan ~bine6 gul'tnC t BAB eres N aght no~tt alg agedistrss URites bad snraner. Kookto mete. out e y Glnlop wphen low'ca isbeIit setgatodibyopeand taryn flerhom cre Staremeon Kiein booger eeto oftl reck -an fq tLADLSiD aras rnt In, ande Houal Shels. OTey Kooll EarnI ftother-u aparmhet.sxen. Pie eLeD billb af n scale yoar ane flat crpt uklgel. . ThreeO sklin Oeer' ac lanu PuW idnighr hith on faayeromter..Ikn N'Tus any mighty on ehlethst.hue Wner silntkaooflam ditreo theti ias willw -od heets aer fur of I, l&g speculative oil stocku, ueeCrtle In em are ofering great preansm In return witheut comnulting yew bauks' er a Y e TOWNE GOSSIP aseweree U. a Paan oMSe BY K C. aB. Dear K. C. B.-On the night of the lth there was left in the hst check room of the Waldorf Roof one dilapidated and dirt straw hat bearing on the inside the initials *K C. B." If it is your pro rty I wish you would call and take it away. Te fat check boy says it can't be cleaned. Do you want it or shall we burn it? ROY CARRUTHERS Manager the Waldo'rf. DEAR ROY. TO A hat check girL. I WAS going to say- AND GIVE her their THAT FOR all of me. s. . THE T check boy. AND PAY ba memey. COULD EAT the hat. TO GET them back. BUT INASMUCH. AND KNOW all the * a0 1 time. AS IT can't be * cleaned. MAT Tr w himo I'LL LET himoff.o 0 . By 8Y0OM rich guy. BUT REALLY. Roy. 0 0 0 IT SEES a shame. WOPI h ee TO BURN the hat. FBTEcekn lT 8BOULDb beC framed. BAS h nw ANDPUT away. mnue WITH A written tale. CC OF THE hat check bit.CC IN WHICH it's been. sckr AND WHAT It cost.AD Omsef TO BUY It back. WHN1wse. THISWE houl do T ATVTE nr Ias CC. . e guysOM ihgy WHO PAloDohe hote THIRFAHES fO hemce. n * FOR ~ienue. l WVE THY'DHE WOL ae right up. WHENbIrth. I ck ji . Excessive Penalties On Public Utility Bills By BILL PRICE. During the "Sood old days" when District utility oorn porationa-and a.n other corporations for that matter-, pulled the, legs of Congress . for. alnost any legislation they wanted, that body nacted a neat httle provision for the benefit of the Potoman Electric Power Company en abling it to impoe a penalty charge of 10 PEE CNT for non-payment of bills-not 10 per cent a year or dix months, but 10 per cent within a period of about forty days. At that time electric light bills were rendered the 1st of each month and the penalty attached if bills were not paid by the 10th of the succeeding month. Then, following a sort of gracious habit to local cor porstions, Congress, in the set approved September 1, 1916, put in this provision as to gas bills: "That if a consumer of gas ether than the Government or the Distuict of Columbia shal not pay monthly any gSa bill within ten days after the sne shall have been presented, maid saee eMpany may charge and collect from any such consmwr so failing to pay said as bill as aforesaid 10 cents additonal for each 1,000 cubic feet of gas represented by said bil." This is a penalty on a deferred gas bill of practically 10 per cent if unpaid in TIN DAYS. The Publio Utilities Commission, to put the gas and electric lighting companies on the same footing, granted the E'ectric Company permission to add its penalty on unpaid bills after TEN DAYS. For some years, therefore, by acts of Congress and permisson of the Public Utilities Commission, the negli gent or hard-up District citizen who left his gas or elee tric light bills unpaid for ten days beyond the time he should have hot-footed it to the proper places of pay ment, runs against a joyous little extra charge of 10 per cent. On a gas or electric light bill of $10 this penalty would amount to $1. Congress, after repeated recommendations from the District Commissioners, ran the pawn brokers and money lenders out of Washington because they demanded and obtained from 2 to 8 per cent a month upon their loans. Old Shylock would have rejoiced In the prospect of 10 per cent for less than a month, and some of the usurious money lenders around Washington would go wild with joy at the prospect of such fat feeding. Nobody can blame the utility companies for making a charge duly sanctioned by law. They are within their rights unless they persistently follow a "pound-of-flesh" policy with consumers known to be of good record and standing who have merely overlooked their bills, been unible to pay on account of serious illness, or been absent from the city. It is up to the PaM Utilities Commission to determine whether sry shall contne to be practiced, and to in Sist that Congress repeal thes enactments and subttt others fair.r to the consuming public. Penalties may be necessary, but it must be borne in mind that the utility companies liave "the whip hand" at every stage of business with consumers. They can shut off 'the gas or electricity, a hardship few cousumers would be willing to have imposed. The gas company for many years would not turnaen gas to corsumers unless substantial deposits were made. These deposits were sufficient guarantees that bibl would be paid, making penalties unnecessary. Officials of that company have, however, been dealing more leniently and fairly with consumers under the regime of President REERTDE, and deposits are not required where the consuner has standing sufficient to give con fidence in his integrity. This company renders its 80,000 bills about the 1st of enecr month, and its customers have due warning. The electric company renders Its 30,000 bills at different times during the month and the consumer must look to the dato on his bill to inform himself as to when his ten days' limit Is up. The bill maycoome at any time during the month. The result Is that payment of bills, irregularly received, escapes the attention .of many citizens. The Utilities Commission deeided some years ago that this habit was "in the interest of economy and efficiency." Tn tne case of water bills from the Water Department of the District, these also being rendered with confusing Irregularity, the consumer is notified when he fails to pay on time, after which the water is cut of. To have the water turned on again a penalty of $2 is rendered, and officials say this Is justified. That is als a mattie the Oealaisaars might ineutia..- .