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Says- By John P. Medbury. FLORIST shops are charging more for their* flowers every day and we ought to recall a lot of our Congress men If they don’t keep their promisee and send us some seeds. But ones they get to Washing ton thoor find other things besides flowers to pluck. They don't use any judgment In distributing their seeds. Ono Congressman sent Bachelor But ( tons to every married man he know. I Our Congressmen promises us \ Lilies of the Valley but he sends us garlic. The only season he remembers us with Forget-me-nots is around election time. But one Congressman was so thrifty he sent a lot of tobacco plante to himself so shat he could raise hie own cigars to give away at the next election. Ms flowers smell sweet when he iromlaee them to us, but the odor isn’t so good by the time we get them. By the way some politicians sit around in Washington and don’t do anything, they must be raising a lot of wall flowers at the Capitol. But the manner In which they f try to hang on tothelr jobs you’d think they were growing clinging ivy- However, once tn while we de got a package from them, but its I usually filled with crushed seeds I and broken priwlSM. Before we send them to Wash- I ington they assure us that after I they’re elected every dump heap I in the city will bo turned into a I rose bower. And every rubbish can will be a flower pet. The,tell Us that it won't be long before well be able to smell a roSO wherever We go, but after they’ve been in the office a couple of years we begin to smell a mouse. F —' Some Congressmen picture them r stives as Lilac, but they’ turn ent to be Lemon Verbiba. They. don’t want us to know whkt they’re doing in Washing ton so they send us Daisies be cause Daisies won’t tell. The average Congressman speaks the language of the flow ers, but the seeds be sends us are tongue-tied. He tells us he’s going to make our State* one big beautiful farm but it usually turns out to be a rubber plant. (Copyright, ItW. Kins Features Syndicate, Inc.) An Irish policeman patrolin g his beat in Pittsburgh came upon a dead horse lying in Duquesne way. He promptly took out his pencil and pad to make a report. > He began? “Found a dead horse lying in —He stopped to ponder a minute, "D-U-K,” **D-U-C—how the devil do you span Duquesne?*’ He suddenly poekotod his pencil and pad and. grabbing hold of the horse’s tail, dragged him around the corner Into Sixth street, where he made his report.—Froth. He-—“ You live in the house next door, don’t you?’’ She—-" Yes.” He-—"I haven't seen much of you.” She—“No, I live on the other aide of the house.”—Showme. Quoth a thirsty young maiden from Bellevue, To a suitor. “I’ve always thought wellevue. But I see you incline To a nose with a shine. JTo keep such a secret is hell evue!”—Puppet. [ Cletk Heard the new golf song, “I Drove My Ball in the Water Hole.” Maehie—No. Cieek—lt ion t Out yet. —Phoenix Bwurp—“Where are you go ing?" Wurp—"To the Deaf, Dumb, and Blind Asylum.* Bwurp—"What for?" WurF—“A couple of chape rones.”—Royal Gaboon. Etude—"Madam, there are fleas In my room.” Landlady—" Fleas? I haven’t a •ingle flea in my house.” Stude—"That’s right, too; they •re all married and have large families.”—Flamingo. An Italian who lived in Donora, v Os whiskey drank more and still mora; But a bootlegger guy Sold him tea on the sly, Which made the Italian much Mr*. SOlHb B MARRIWIBE . , ; ■ --ByZere , /•,!!?!—sSsT*- "• \ if \ IT | TWAS A FAR. JJETTER .IDEA ENTIRE. EVENING* WITH A LOT OF \ PERSON, WHAT WE. SAVE "BY CUT TIMO. \ TEMTH DISINTERESTED ONLOOKERS, who \ ‘ THE VSMONG THOSE PRESENT"Msr \ I ANNIVERSARY ALONE. •• DONT CARE WHETHER THE AFFAIR) TO TWO, AMOUNTS TO QUITE A HILL. ) F£M>ANT AS A PRESENT I » XHkS '-S AN AN anniversary OR A / OF >eANS!‘. SALUTATIONS TO A / /A Z*T FROM YOU, WITH WHAT I OCCASION WHICH CONCERNS/ CHRISTENING-, SO LONG AS iT / \ THRIFTY WOMAN 0 / l\' y VVE. SAVED ON THE. k CHE IFLY ONLY YOU / GIVE’S ’EM A MEAL OUT AT / > * WOWWIT. (TX . I > >ANQURT?! / , AND me!! X SOMEBODY ELBE’S EXP C NSEr / - <V // ? ' ,"Z'r — J /// . z6s KRAZYKAT (tES?) rSWHs fi£) •.! -j ! ast xk ji£ r --.■-4a?-■/. 1 W-r- flg y '**«■, Wn 1 ) , j .k "!"," I gl L L d L..-.—k->,.—»*L.g|| MPESPKfI9fIMBBPFLNDh< " .. Ika- x 1 . . -■. ■ --. - - SoWfifeIKCWNBAdF/ - _ """ lUECL, Aft. WfNAk ’ tfF ‘ ASH M/UtKTry ] F” (> 'W MlSfc* DOCKS k (£) SaSSrlfcK! y I ON Port TP PUT SUNSHINE,AVbfiZOre - AM* W*»K i SOS ' 3i 'z •/-vXXZJse. "® • d> ■KSrFWSv < -J'. MHiiawCTi WIWI?WI wrliii TTLriyjßM - g -* d J i i LlsslS!^__ . OHMHffI-HS • ' " I'M GOIMG TO SeT THE ) . j I'LL WAIT 11 1 i i HEYER SAW HIM \ ITS TAKEU AU NICHT ] i— — —~I ALARM CLOCK AMD HIT) WOLTHISU 50 RESTLESS BeFoßg I BUT AT LASTTHAMK / P?? . THE HAV.v- yoQ coijjq I HOPE HE'S NOT ]-/ tfOODkIESS, I'VE PUT HIM ) —5 Twose-ncrt tobep hl . io sleep. \ -■’ S, "fM,- /'*F\ JW= M a® fIJE HUim I ll' I HHPffr JBK ** jCo»v->tt«u IW>. by IttM »«•*»»•» S*a4>Mte. lae • » ‘ » ’ 11 1 SIEVEIIOWIIf ~ I’ve \ Jit u> ILL TA Ke S I GOT TO GST 1 v pL/S/SrS/x^X/S/ J ' Tujo Hours 1 home W I Abb <-4- ij/\ Si.. ~3T~*^ : skw SB \ alii -wgi»L/ P*oLicis I/-, PATROL- .Mr- 1. . II w LWC Sfe-5 I a - 'aH-MUG. ihttle rococo ,AscAM L . if CARRIAoe LUAS TClo-r OF k p^ Q MCUG ARoUMtS /M THIS PUSHED THROUGH OMLY RlbtS. I\s TTte OT>AA4t> L/HOO-S1 MC’. J THe coppers* FW-EROL, *- ~| . I - - - s—l THE WASHINGTON TIMES * * TAg Afational Daily • ♦ SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 24, 1923. NIGHTIE-NIGHT I I" "ll y m At eight oaoh nite I etody. At nine I gaee over th* street, At nine-thirty a tight grows ruddy And at ten I’m In need of raw meat.' She takes off her hat at nine- * fifty-one. Then her shoes or her seat (Tm not certain) And at nine-fifty-six (Tm a son of-o-gun) You’ve guessed it—she draw* down her curtain! Still at eight each nito X study. And at nine I’ve a room-ful of gueato; For they believe, as I believe That Mine nite she’s gonna for- When wo Mar at m setae Wains hto grfpt ' Wo think ft’s a sad state; And we thtak of a nan who is broken and oMU i v.'ith his clothing loagi cat of date. But sometimes wo find an aster Who’s broke, but not old or 111, And so his landlady taken his grip Because he cant pay bls bin. —tamon Punch. She—"So you love mo still, dear?" He—" Oh. I guess a little shoul der shaking is all right" •—Yellow Jacket. Professor—" What is ordinarily as a conductor of electric ity?" Senior—-'"’Why, tor—” *Trotesaor—-"Correct. Now tell mo what is ths unit of electric power?" Senfor—"The what, sir?” Professor—-That will do; very good/* —Awgwan. "It worries me to keep these jewels in the house/* said Mre Stone to her neighbor In Ute street car. "Madame need not worry,” said tho Yobbei-, and to himself on the \ other aide, "I’ll pack up your ’ troubles In my old Idt bag. and smile, smile, smile.” z —Vo® Doo * Mrs. X—You have a maid now don*t you? Mrs. Y—Yes, but how did you know? , Mrs. X—The ice .man used t<- stay there three minutes and now he stays fifteen. —Awgwan. \ He—Would you accept a per monkey? She—Oh, I would have to ask" father. This is so sudden. Phoenix; Minister—My good man, con* tinue your great work and you ‘ will be compensated in the end, Solicitor for Charity—Yes, I got kicked out of the last house where I called. —Awgwan. This Is the story of Johnny,-Mc- Guire .. ... * . . -4 Who ran through the town with his trousers on fire. He went to the doctor’s and fainted with fright When thedoctor told him that his end was in sight. —Jack-O-Lantern. Irate Parson "Conductor, do you allow drunkards on this cat?" Conductor—" Keep quiet and no body will notice you.’*—Voo Doo; Hope was thrown for a twenty yard loss when a sweet ydung thing asked us if syntax had any thing to do with social reform and the blue laws.—Lord Jeff. Nothin—"Was that your girl I saw yqu with last night?” Orlefts—•'Yeah. Why?" Nothin —"Why man, she’s no bigger than a piece of stick candy.” Orless—"Mebbe not. but she’s much sweeter.” —Phoenix. Among the freshmen who did not get a “bid” is the one who innocently remarked that it looked like rain when the soup was served at the Mu Kow Mu house. —Banter. Bill—" Say,. Scraggs, these here college boys are certainly game guys, ain’t they?” Scraggs—"What they been doin’ now?” Bill—" Three more of 'em got broken bones in yesterday’s game." ."I can’t help loving you.” "No, that wouldn’t help much.” —Brown Jug. Bizarre—Say, grandpop, are we descendents of monkeys? Bizzare’s Grandpop—Why gra cious no, our folks came from Wales.” —Awgwan. Last week a man was being married and when the preacher staid “This is your lawfully wedded wife” the dumb brute turned and said. "Glad to know yuh.”—Brown Jug. "I've come to fix that old tub in the kitchen." , •oh.