Search America's historic newspaper pages from 1770-1963 or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the
National Endowment for the Humanities and the Library of Congress. external link Learn more
Image provided by: Library of Congress, Washington, DC
Newspaper Page Text
Says— By John P. Medbury. A PROMINENT « writer says that by 1998 the White House will be occupied en tirely by women. Maybe he’s right, and if this is true then the Vice President will no longer be a silent figure. There’s no reason why a wom an shouldn’t be President. A lot of them are just as good golf players as men. They could fill the Cabinet positions perfectly. There’s not a married woman in this country who wouldn’t make an excellent Secretary of War. Most wives are good cooks and any man would be glad to nomi nate his wife for Minister of the Interior. And a lot of them are so used to working that they’ve had plenty of training to fit them for the Department of Labor. The average married woman is so used to grabbing her husband’s pay envelope every Saturday night that she’d know exactly how to act if you put her in the Treasury. If a woman had been President four years ago England wouldn’t have our dough now. The chances are we’d have theirs. A woman wants to see what she’s getting for her money, and Stanley Baldwin didn't bring any bargains over here with him. Os course, some women gossup a whole lot, and our lady Presi dent would probably have us at war with every foreign nation. But she wouldn’t let our sol diers fight it out on a battlefield: she’d want the last word herself. The extent of our warfare would probably be the women from the different nations get ting together and calling' each other names. Then whichever side got lock jaw first would lose. Still, the most pitiful sight im aginable would be to see our lady President and her girl Cabi net arguing over a lot of bills. It is not at all unlikely that we may have a woman President. But can you imagine some for eign diplomat calling at the White House to see her and have her send out word that she’s busy in the kitchen. However she could attend to the Government affairs in the morning and do her housework in the afternoon. Instead of being on the golf course most of the time, she’d spend her leisure hours around bargain counters. These foreign diplomats had better do all their arguing now because if this county ever gets a woman President, there’s no use talking. AL FRESCO gEATED in her arbor, Betty pouring tea. Makes the leafy harbor Paradise for me. Just to be beside her Brims my cup with bliss Hang that cheeky spider Spoiling sport like this! Betty Is a beauty, Pink and white and blonde; Human tutti-frutti. Sweet all sweets beyond. Magic is the glancing Os her lovely eyes. Alchemy entrancing— Darn these blooming flies! hat could be as pleasant Os an afternoon As this perfect present?— Well, perhaps, a moon. Nothing more enthralling I would ever beg— Darn that beetle crawling Up my trouser leg! —Judge. "Why Is he suing his wife for divorce?” "Because she concealed a minia ture broadcasting Instrument in his inside coat pocket.” "I * just got a dollar,” said the custodian of the conscience fund. "Any signature?” "None. Probably from some dol lar-a-year man.” "I don’t believe in riding a good horse to death.” Jones (who has been taking riding lessons}—lt’s usually the other way round. Crawford—Gayboy had a fight With the lifeguard. Crabshaw Do you blame him? The fellow grabbed him and drag gßd him ashore just when he Was near the three-mile limit. E- | , i- J ..... ■'..l, I I . 1 I-?—I . . ■ - - '”£l- WOSMSMBMMBSWMBM— . SO THIS IS MARRIED LIFE ' ■ '-?"■' ' . By Zer e 1 I’VE. GOT TO SHOP / THE IDEA' pLu NEED TWO SPORT SUITS - A BLUE VI I EVENING SLIPPERS PFARI ) " ~ \ TO-DAY AND GET THE I LITTLE SLIP OF TuR”BaN To WEAR, WITH MY BLUE. / BE ADS-SILK LINGERIE- / I FEW THINGS I NEED PAPER'-REMEMBER! GEORGETTE' ONE. GREEN AND WHITE. VANITY CASE. Foure, A TfAMTiMIIF I / FOR- OUR- TRIP TO WERE GOING To SWEATER- ONE PINK AND YELLOW \ PAIR SILK HOSE - vUll I IlMll ■—! J EUROPE'. WRITE- FIGURE. PRETTY SWEATER-A SPORT COAT FOFE THE I SIX PAIR \vOOLEN ■ THEM DOWN ON THIS / CLOSE CUT IT .BOAT- AN EVENING GOWN WITH HOS^- ‘ U LITTLE SLIP OF / I 3>OWN MUCH AS EARRINGS TO MATCH-ONE PAIR* I PARASOL- I ~ * PAPER,DE AR?Z YOU CAN'- kq OF BLUE- PUMPS-AND / SET- ENGRAVED _ 7 -I •/ J. /"A A PAIR. OF RED ONES-/ , CARDS- ZX lEA 1 a wH £AX 111 -Ufiftlll-— f / RwlUii '/f A -'I Z Copyright. 1923, by King Featurea Syndicate. Inc. 7-*? • • KRAZYKAT . ■ (\wKw/vcA if3usr <3O/a)<X F7 A? J LX \ v—rWpl * CD " @ * /A L» .. '■■■■ 11 ... - _ I _ |(c) i»23 w twm. PiMTvwe/eteyiee. «we. | W Pa<A i ***» THENEWLYWEDS J fly diaries McManus fff /c O,u r E TO hnDP r sur fa ~~7 I NOW WATCH GX* [?T HANK lAKrTTHAT 00-2 EN OF THE NICE SALMON. If\ JT°.95/L. UK * OE^™E PIER.I LL FASTEN S ALLftICHT, J MAHA CATCH 7a] GOODNESS*. [ WHOPPER FoR OADY? BIGGEST FiSH \ H-g/v "I'l "0 "V A 7XTL T HEH ON THE HOOK AND DOX/EY*. QIG THAT’ -X H” vousE.r \ /x\ .AAV 0 haultheh in.j — pullup fish.) pleases J Wr/ZZrZ//- S '■l; ’ I/TWBiI \“l 1 VOURLINE. ( \ HIM. v-J /X •* tt ft J/azs, 1 HSfc 01 Ur \ \ B/xP t /(aNXkmJSJ ’ La/Y\ / \\ /V'A -6 If \ /\ j </z-Td®V VW /iToSEEf ■ Jiff S!"-38&aHW fl / -U»" "_JW 3KJEU» ”1 '-.T -j'l 5? /\\jk -tv \ 1 Aifl I'XHT I* p>r —■ — — jz—^=—jZt- - * —-=• / Zj xst==tz. yr / )wn Mt'' —< ) \ r eish ~~~~ nr /- i \ ’ / n 7/=- ( ) —WI X /! (caught. ~ *4 c I MSk • j* fresh r“ vx" uOF —— U I \ I _J As __ i WIW ■■ ■■- ~ ■—- —a ' ' Copyright. 1923. by King Feature* Syndicate. Tne <g> AS- fjetyrtUS. HATTIE \ By Jack Callahan ITS k)OUS£. I CAkJ'T \ I I'VE GOT To GET Hotfs ) UJHAT LJOULD/OU) 1 THE GIELS OF NV PAY S JUST LOOK AT TH IS 'l 11,— Z stamp this big rrop oF. | comsemt to my say if i had ny 7 DIDN'T go ua for such / photo of your self s ■ r~ — HA Ip.. IT TAKES ALL MY. ) HAUIDG IT BOBBED. J BogBCD Y SILLY IDEAS, I'M V TAKEM IkS 1995 MoM. I I I Time to Do it up .J k — — 9 J Surprised at yoo, ; — 1 1 I h - ’ 2 - —7 ‘ A HATTiE. I > C IUHAT \ I ; 1 A aTVa Ik B- v 4 v Zjß® \\\ &caa Lky v r%\ xlx I 7 VTy \\ ( i y /f /Xu mH \ X—l i ' SjXWv fej wOmiIBmZZyB STEVE HIMSELF . e rt - By Rube Goldberg YY I )7x-\ fZsZA foolish qutSTIOHS-»a?ig2a | YOU BRUTE,AREA. zYio, HAbAMTI "Y— Youletting Li 15 nX yOL CADDIE CARRY te/i that big \ CAbbld 1F B rW ,i. JaHßifc bag L Xw*! sky r I / X -Jr -A- CARWIbJG AtQ I ( wi A Lows OF GOLF vrWjaW P \ ft®/? AS> HUCM °F A */<LL 6OLF BAGS SfAoOLb> Trffi 7 WSh? XIJF . AA3 >// - ffifcL L// [ Auto Aft O&IU3. LIGHT AaJIS BOMeEfe. M[U - . MeNuutht Syndic.M*, Inc. H Y. I * - THE WASHINGTON TIMES * * The National Daily * ♦ MONDAY, JULY 9, 1923. Campus - Wit Pumps—Whatk do you mean by a stag? Oxfords—One who's always horning in.—Notre Dame Juggler. “I Invited two women to the dance last night.” “How did you get away with it?” "Neither of them accepted."— Brown Jug. John—l’m going away for good. Henry—Going away for good? “Yes, going away for good.'* “Good!”—Denver Parrakeet “I think I must have been King Tut’s first wife in the long past ages,” she murmured rap turously as she gazed at the stars. “No you weren't,” he replied. "What proof have you?” she icily inquired. “I was King Tut himself.**— Michigan Gargoyle. “I like those religious girls.” "What do you mean religious?” “Those kind that make you feel as if you were in heaven all the time you are near them."— Penn State Froth. Ted—Will you remember me when I am far away? Jed —How far away are you going?—Cornell Widow. Mother (to daughter)—My good ness, how did you get all that ink on the side of your face? Daughter’s fiance (unconsciously searching in vest pocket)—Gosh! Is that pen leaking again?—Jack o-Lantern. Her—Don’t you think Gorma Nish is just thrilling in “Wild Oats?” Him—Yeh. That’s her best cereal.— Boston Beanpot. "So you’re de guy who’s turnin’ the street around!” Carnegie Puppet. Away to get rid of the blues Is to stay on a bobtail straight. I hasten to spread the glad news Away to get rid of the blues, The red and the white ones to lose, Is to take my advice when I state— The way to get rid of the blues Is to stay on a bobtail straight. —Yale Record Oh, take away your pickled camels’ toes! Your breast of humming bird and parrot head; I. wouldn’t touch that broiled live ostrich nose. But bring me just a plate of beans instead. I hate the tongues of French fried nightingales, ((It makes no difference if they are on toast) I loathe the sight of roasted sparrow tails; A side of beans is what I want the most. Oh, bring me just a plate of homely beans! The kind my Lesbia has al ways bought me; Go and pick some dandelion greens, For that’s the lesson that Mycenas taught me. —Harvard Lampoon. ADVERTISEMENT. How to buildup your Weight TO be under weight often proves low fighting-power in the body. It often means you are minus nerve-power, minus red cells in your f blood, minus / yM \ health, minus | vj I I vitality. It is I & r-i n / ser * ous to be \ /a wmr Jn * nus » but ! Hz' the moment you increase sS the number of your red blood-cells, you begin to become plus. That’s why S. S. S., since 1826, has meant to thousands of underweight men and women, a plus in their strength. Your body fills to the point of power, your flesh becomes firmer, the age lines that come from thinness disap pear. You look younger, firmer, happier, and you feel it, too, all over your body. More red-blood cells! S. S. S. will build them. kS. S. S. is sold at all good drug stores in two sizes. The larger sire is more economical. !C Worlds Best 1.0.wL ffiloodMedidne < LIVER LAZY? Lacy livers are sometimes overworked, with* resultant disordered condition. You can keep them active and healthy by taking PLANTKNS 'SSPMILL' - In Capsules for all Uver and kidney trouble, bladder ail mentajand an excess of nrio acid in theeya tem. Relieves promptly. Look for a “Moi Mill” on the package. Take no other At all leading druggists. Trial sise 90 cents H. PLANTEN & SON, 100.. BROOKLYN. N.Y Sold by Peoples and O'Dunneli’s , Drug Stores.