The Washington times. [volume], July 29, 1924, Image 14

About The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939

Image provided by: Library of Congress, Washington, DC

                
JEALOUS 4IJ
* If «JL w V’ZtV ; •■
By John P, Medbury.
THE trouble with the aVbrage
wife is that she’s too jealous
of-her husband. She ought
to suspect him less and watch him
more. - ■
Os course it’s not her husband
ehe’s worried about; it's the other g
women she’s afraid of.
One dame who loved her hus
band was so afraid that he was =
going to be stolen that she took
out burglar insurance on him. t .
But he was so homely that even
• kleptomaniac wouldn't steal him.
If any woman ever copped him
It would be a curio collector. -7/'
His face may have been a mas
terpiece to her. but it was just a
tunny paper to everybody else.
He was so homely that he even
got somebody else to. look in the
mirror for him when he shaved.
He went out quite a bit alone,
but his wife didn’t need to watch
hlm. His face was her protection.
A girl who marries an odd
looking man takes a load off of
her mind. , . # •
Women shouldn’t be inquisitive.
When your husband comes home
late at night, never ask him where
he’s been. Wait until the next
morning and then tell him.
He’ll be perfectly truthful and
honest with you if he thinks
you’ve found out.
Only one husband out of ten
•ver deceives his wife. The rest
of them only imagine they do.
If you catch your husband with
his arms around the maid, don’t be
jealous, maybe be has a good ex
cuse.
If you say anything you’re liable
to hurt the maid's feelings and *
.good servants are hard to get.
Wait until he gets through hug
ging her and he'll explain every
thing to. you.
« V'—
Ho won’t deny kissing her, If
he’s positive you saw him.
One man used to spoon with the
maid just to get his wife to do
her own housework.
So girls, if you see your hus
band at the theater with another
woman, holding his stenographer
on his lap on pelting the waitress,
don’t get jealous, he probably has
reasons that you don’t know any
thing about.
INVISIBLE ADS |
The Qypo Magnifying Glass.
Makes a restaurant steak look
like a flock of cows, a, thin dime
look like a fat silver dollar and
a lion out of a poodle dog. Also
manufacturers of Gypo Magnify,
ing Mirrors—an easy way to be
come a big man. One of our cus
'tfrmers looked in this mirror and
right out to the kitchen and
wife some back talk.
STUDEBAKER
Jwt Driye It; Thafa AU
! \ i .
Odd facts
about Coms
End them this new way
SINCE man started to wear
shoes his feet have hurt him.
Scores of ways to end corns have
been tried. Most are alike.
Blue-jay is scientifically different,
quick, safe; the discovety of a
noted scientist It stope the pain
Instantly. Then the com loosens
•nd comes oft That’s all—no
dangerous paring.
Use it tonight, walk \ V m&A
in comfort totnor
row. Your druggist
has it
Blue-jay
NOW YOU CM
QUICKLY END
KIDNEYTBOOBLES
A Six-Ounce Bottle es Dr. Carey's :
Marshroot Proscription 777
For 78 Cents
If you have backache or puffed eye
lids swollen anklee or clammy htmda
it's probably poison settled in your kid
■eye and the sooner you get rid of It
the further away from the grave you’ll
bo.
Roots and herbs are best 'for this,
purpose, as Dr. Carey, for 40 years a
practicing physician, well know.
It your kidneys ar* making your Ute
miserable the best medicine is none too
food. Cut out this notice, toko it to
Copies Drug Stores or any good drug
gist and see that you set Dr. Carey's
Marshroot Preecrlptfon ITT. It come* In
both liquid and tablet form and the
price is only n cents.
DR. CAREY’S MARSHROOT
• I
.THE WASHINGTON TIMES ■ «_ TA« Notional Doily • • TUESDAY,JULY 29,1924.
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* T-- a
I HONEYMOON
CHATTER
By Les Conklin.
\ f VE arranged for one of
I the guides to take us on
«■» a hunting trip today,
Percy. A long hike will do you
good, and perhaps we can get '
some antlers to hang over the
fireplace." - .:?/ ■ •
"You needn’t talk to that
blond waitress; Hl pay the bill.
When we were engaged you
swore you would never look at *'
another woman."
"Oh, darting, some of the boys
I used to know in high' school
are going to drop In and see us
on their way to the city; won't
that be lovely! It's been most a,
year now since I’ve seen them.”
"That suit of yours is getting
a bit shabby; see if you can’t get
another one in town. I want
everybody to see how handsome
my hubby is."
"Drop that magazine and talk
to nfc. From the way you act
anybody would think we hail been
married forty years instead of be
ing on our honeymoon.
"I just got a letter from
mother saying that we had better
come home a day or two earlier '
than we planned. There’s a lot
of painting and things to be done
around the house, you know."
| AT BREAKFAST
"It’s about time we decided
where we're going on our vaca
tion this summer, George. You
make a list of all the nice places
you know, and then I’ll choose
one. - • f"
“All the other families on the
block have picked out a place to
go long ago. The Reillys are go
ing up to Baffin Bay to take' in
an Eskimo beauty contest; Mr.
Hoople wants to visit China and
get a real home-made Mah Jongg
set; and Mr. Bopp is going to take
his lemon to an orange grove in
California.
“Listen, Geoegr, why can’t we
go to Europe? We can save
money on our vacation because
it is cheap to live in Germany,
and I can hire a frau to do the
housework for three cents a day.
What if you're seasick on the
boat—my uncle says it never
lasts more than three days.
“You needn't think you’re smart
telling me we can't go, because
I’ve already/ told the neighbors
we are going, and that settles
it. So instead of playing golf
Saturday afternoon, I’ll meet, you
in town and get the passporta.**
HURT
a Jteai Good Car"
THE CALL
OF
THE OCEAN
Virginia beach
ALWAYS POPULAR
Unsurpassed for quiet and re- ’
fined enjoyment of seashore at
tractions.
Moderate priced Hotels and
Cottages .
- Over-Night Ride From
Washington
Via Historic Potomac River
and Chesapeake Bay
—Palace Steel Steamers—
“Northknd”and “Southland”
Daily 6:30 P. M.
NEW YORK EASTERN >
BOSTON RESORTS
BY SEA 1
Information and Literature At
City Ticket Offito,
731 15th St. N. W.
NORFOLK & WASHINGTON
. STEAMBOAT CO.
FORITCHIMIOfffIBE
Use Antiseptic Liquid Zemo
There is one remedy that seldom falls
to step itching tortdre and relievo sktn j,
irritation, and that makes the skin soft. i
clear and healthy. |
Any druggist can supply you with J
Zemo, which generally overcomes akin *j
diseases. Bcsema, Itch, ‘ Pimples, mI
Rashes, Blackheads, In most cases give*'
way to Zemo. ' Frequently, minor <;
blemishes disappear overnight. Itching J
usually stopg. instantly. Zemo is a safe,
antiseptic. liquid, clean, easy to. use
and dependable. It costs only lie: ah ,
extra large bottle, |l. It is positlvaly
safe for tender, sensitive skins. Zemo
Soap. 25c—Zemo Ointment, “'Ho.
I zemo I
I FOR SKIN IRRITATIONS I
tA Sptcial Offat
\ A Beautiful
' Filter* •/