The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, August 05, 1924, Image 16

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The Washington times. [volume], August 05, 1924, Image 16
About The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939

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The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]), 05 Aug. 1924. Chronicling America: Historic American Newspapers. Lib. of Congress. <https://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn84026749/1924-08-05/ed-1/seq-16/>

Newspaper Page Text

FLOWING THRU
' ' CANADA
L By John P .Medbury. •.
THIS to the time !Ot the year
whta tourist* who . have
"Seen America First” are
motoring pcross the border to
drink In the wonders of Canada.
Canada Is a beautiful country
but their prettiest scenery comes
tn bottles.
Road maps are unnecessary,
all you need Is a cork screw.
Ton don’t even need a speed
ometer. . You can always tell
how far you’ve gone by count
ing the empty bottles.
They measure the distances
over there by quart*. i
’**• i . sss*sumnsmssss* , >4, . ' j "
It’s four gallons and on* pint
from Montreal to Quebec. . -
• Or a little over a hundred
miles as thd Old Crow flies.
• -’ ■ . ■ .
Tourists us* their hip pockets
for luggage carrier*
One motorist who was travel
' tag through Canada had his car
towed so that ho coujd fill th*
» gas tink with liquor.
He said it wks too
space to waste on something
that only cost twenty-three cents
a gallon.
«■■■■■■■■■*
He put in th* car all that he
couldn’t carry himself.
.■ ——— - /
On* guy was so loaded with
Scotch that he used his nos* for
a tail-light
His wife had to wear smoked
glasses to keep it from dhining
In her eyes.
She said if he hadn’t had his
hat on. somebody 'would have
Aken his head for a,lantwn.
At the end of the trip he was
so soaked that she had to run
him through the wringer.
On the last day of their jour
ney he drove the automobile into
a river but the machine was so
full* of corks it wouldn’t sink.
Whenever they stopped gt a
hotel they never needed a bell
boy. The porter always unloaded
the baggage with a pump.
The only difference between
touring this country and the
province is theit 'you drive
through the United States and
flow through Canada.
(Copyright, I*B4, by King Feature*
Syndicate, Inc.)
COMING EVENTS |
2100 —Great demand for radio
Stenographers. Boss stays home
all day and dictates letters to the
office via the air.
1880—Invention of great boon
for tennis players—Um* that
won’t wash off the court when it
tains.
For Hair And Scalp
• Cuticara k Excellent
Shampoos with Cudcum Soap
and hot water, preceded by touches
of Cuticura Ointment to spots of
dandruff and itching, keep the scalp
clean and tbs hair healthy.
HEAL SKIN DISEASES
■,. 9
Apply Zemo, Clean, Penetrat
ing, Antiseptic Liquid
*
It Is unnecessary tor you to sttffbr
With Bcsema, Blotch**, Ringworm,
Rashes and similar skin trouble*.
Zemo obtained at any drag store* tor
81c, or 81.ee tor extra larg* bottle,
and promptly applied will usually glv*
instant relief from itching torture. It
cleanses and soothes, the skin and
heals quickly and effectively most skin
diseases.
Zemo is a wonderful, benet ratine,
disappearing liquid and is soothing to
th* moot delicate skin. Get it today
and sav* all further distress Zemo
Soap, Ito—Zemo Ointment, tec.
I zemo i
I FOR SKIN IRRfTATIONa ]
DORANT
"Jtut a Jtarf GcArf Car*
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THE WASHINGTON TIMES * • T». NMmal ba, • * TUESDAY, AUGUST S, 1*24.
~ „ ~, -- ...J .■■■■■ - . -.. ■-. ... S; . ..■■■; ■ ' ~ : -I
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FLIPS FROM
, A FLAPPER
—ZZ. ~ J
By Flossie Flapper.
Lav* mciy or may not b* blind,
blit it’s otton crenwmd.
- Th* bong’s good-looking *rn al-
ways takes * good look at the
new stenos. • r
.. When I take a lock at oom* of
th* dors that getting into *o
d*ty, i am' content to remain
with th* hoi polio!.
Strang* how a man of intelll
gene* likes to hoar than* sQuabs
coo.,
One-pfoo^' bathing suite are in*
variably unpopular with thorn
who dare not wear them. ’
♦r.- ! ■ .
If nature has given a dame a
beautiful map' she can travel al
nyet anywhere on it .
The bride that get* hit with an
old shoe can’t procure any sym
pathy from me. . ? . *
.Jt, - ■' l
For some dames lunch hour la
nothing but a hammer-throwing
. contest -V*-
Amy, the office Leviathan, la
threatening to get minted. When
•he leaver the ways there’ll be
•ome splash. h
, . t
IT'S DIFFERTNT
NOW
.« •
Thirty years ago a girt was
supposed to spend Sunday after
noon waiting in the partob for
some sap to pay her e caH but .he
would never find her home howa
<l*ys. She would probably bo out
on the links playing golf with her
grandfather.
- There's no place Uh* S»
peclally when Mom te entertain
ing the Missionary Society In th*
front room and Pop and Me
friends are on th* front porch.
The gay young blade of ISM
could drop in moat any tfm* on
Sunday afternoon And be re* eon
ably sure of finding hte girt friend
at home, but the only way the
I cake-eater of 19|4 oan be sure of
making connections Is to ride
around with the milkman.
DRY TOASTS |
Here’s to him with the stuff
that heroes are made of—to the «
man. that has hte picture taken
in a. bathing suit
■
A pledge to*the modern mother,
who powders the baby before she
powders her nose.
Here's to length—we wish wo
could live as long as a party plat
form.
To the chap who puts slick
stuff on hte hair. Wo wonder
if he wears cuff links in his
night shirt.. ■ ■
666
is a Prescription for
Colds, Grippe, Dengue
Fever, Bilious Headaches
and Malaria Fever.
These Folks
- Just Laugh
At Hot Weather
Tiredness Is a Joke—Fatigue
Is Unknown-While
Energy, Strength and
Vitality Go Above Par by
. Taking McCoy’s Cod Liver
QU Tablets.
Ths men *ad women, boys and girts
who Ju«t laugh st sttltry weather and
have loads of Ambition and endurance
are tha ones that take McCoy's Cod
Liver OU Tablets during ths summer
month* , s
. Every wchoolboy as will as every
grandmother knows that Cod Liver OU
IS a great strength creator and body
builder—the best on earth. • •
But they won’t take the nasty
tasting oil, horrible smelling, atomash up
setting oil, and who can blamo-themf
And. thanks to science—they don’t
have to—for now at any drug stave te
America Feu can got CO' McCoy's Cod
Liver Oil Tablets for CO cents and
before you have taken one box you
will know why all the doctors praise
Cod Liver Oil and tell you that It is
shook .full of vimmines that build you
ud, make you strong and wonderfully
aids digestion. .
If you want. to feel fit and fine
during the hot weather put year faith
In McCoy’s Cod Liver Oil Tablet*—the
original and genuine—as easy to take
as candy—and Money back /if they
don’t* help you. 7
Ask People. Drug Stores or any real
druggist about them
Mrs, Luther Dorn, of Clarks Mill
A. C., writes: •
"1- have taken different Minds of
never found any like
?^’’th^^ U
McCoy’s Cod "Liver Oil
Tablets
STUDEBAKER
I JteM Draw «/ AD 1

The Washington times. [volume], August 05, 1924, Image 16
About The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939

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The Washington times. [volume], August 05, 1924, Image 16
About The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939