The Washington times. [volume], December 29, 1931, Image 20

About The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939

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EDITORIAL PAGE
OF THE
Open Committee Doors
Let Public in on D. C. Bill Hearings
The practice of framing the District appropriation bill be
hind closed doors should be abolished.
Residents of the city should be allowed to attend the hear
ings before the District subcommittee of the House Committee
on Appropriations in order that they may know what is going
into the bill and what is being kept out.
The secrecy with which hearings on the local supply bills is
now shrouded serves no good purpose.
All it succeeds in doing is to bring the bill out onto the floor
of the House without its first having been scanned by any of
the citizens whose welfare is vitally concerned.
Under the present practice printed copies of the testimony
submitted at the hearings are distributed a few days before the
bill is called up for action.
These copies cover thousands of pages and it. is virtually im
possible for residents of the city to familiari-- • selves with
their contents before the bill is considered.
' If the hearings were open to the public W; Aans could
follow the progress of the testimony and would be in a better
position to advance meritorious projects and curb those which
are unworthy.
This advice of citizens should be sought by members of the
committee and not shunned as it has been in the past.
Precedent for opening the hearings was set last year by the
Senate committee.
The argument has been advanced that to open the hearings
would result in great delay. That this is not the case was shown
by the Senate committee, which was able to conclude the tak
ing of testimony in two or three days.
The revised District subcommittee, under Democratic leader
ship, might well give Washingtonians an opportunity to know
what is going into the bill and why.
Hidden Communities
Alley Dwellings Should Be Eliminated
Alley dwellings have constituted a major housing problem in
Washington since about the time of the Civil War and it is to
be hoped that Congress at the present session will enact legisla
tion looking to the elimination of these hidden communities.
The National Capital has had this evil with it for so long that
people have come to look upon it as necessary.
It isn’t necessary and, while its elimination might be costly,
the money thus spent would pay handsome dividends in im
proved health and better observance of the law.
There can be no question that the criminal and the criminal
minded are either produced in some of our alleys or are at
tracted to them because of the comparatively safe haven which
they afford.
The inhabited alleys, with their cramped quarters, poor venti
lation and inadequate sanitary facilities, complicate greatly the
difficulty of maintaining the health of the entire city.
Agitation for the relief of this condition has gone on for years,
but at every session of Congress measures for wiping out alley
dwellings have been lost in the shuffle.
The National Capital Park and Planning Commission, continu
ally working for the practical and esthetic advancement of
Washington, in its recently issued annual report urges that
Congress act upon a bill now before it.
The alley dwelling bill introduced by Senator Capper pro
vides a sane program for elimination of the hidden dwellings.
Under its provisions the alleys could not be used for dwellings
after 1941.
This time limit and the machinery set up under the bill would
insure against hardship those forced to move and would allow
for the construction of better dwellings for them in other sec
tions of the city.
Newspaper Boy Pilgrims
Capital Welcomes Carriers
The National Capital, center of the country’s governmental
affairs and site of the shrines which a grateful people have
erected to their heroes, today is the scene of the second an
nual patriotic pilgrimage of the Newspaper Boys of America.
From all parts of the country these hundreds of youngsters
have assembled in Washington to receive the rewards be
stowed by their respective newspapers for scholastic standing,
efficiency on paper routes, leadership and character.
It is fitting that each year newspapers should select from
among their carrier boys who have been outstanding in their
activities and send them to Washington.
Here the youths are given a true concept of the greatness
of their nation, a greatness founded upon the lives of such
they*
Here they find out what government means, what their
country has achieved and is achieving. ,
They are given an opportunity to learn history where
history has been made. .
Their visit should send them home better Americans with
a prospect for better and happier lives.
Washington welcomes the boys and hopes they enjoy
their stay.
The Return of the Free Lunch
If anyone doubts that the speakeasy is on as sound a basis
as the old-time saloon, the return of the free lunch is suf
ficient evidence to the contrary. Except in Hoboken, it is a
comparatively recent development of the prohibition era.
The first speakeasies offered their clients little if anything
but liquor—and poor liquor at that. The quality of the drinks,
however, has steadily improved and the price trend is down
ward. Better organization of the supply and competition
among speakeasy proprietors are the main reasons.
Now it is only an unprogressive “sptak” that does not
furnish ham, cheese or roast beef sandwiches gratis for the
customers. And in many the free lunch is approaching pre
war proportions. Meat balls, beans, stew, fish cakes, sausages
—even hors d’oeuvres—are there to be taken without asking.
About the only change from the old days is the absence of
the little receptacle at the end of the bar for cloves. The
cloves were provided for the client who was afriad of his
wife, and fondly imagined that he could conceal the aroma of
liquor, by munching a few.
Nowadays they are unnecessary. The wife stands up at
the bar with him.
A Sign of the Times
WASHINGIONTIMES
Give Him the Gun
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LISTEN, WORLD!
Should Hubby Start in Where *
Papa Leaves Off?
They had a big row in the
Los Angeles courts recently.
Young husband suing his
FT
ELSIE ROBINBON
wife’s
wealthy
parents for
alienation of
the Dear
Girl’s affec
tions.
Wealthy
Parents r e
plying by
teUing what
a Contempt
ible Piker he
turned out
to be.
A c t u a 1 ly
took their
Beau ti f u 1
Child from their palatial man
sion and forced her to live in
a cheap apartment, where she
had to do her own work! Can
you imagine it! So naturally
they took the Poor Abused Dar
ling home.
Pictures of Poor Abused Dar
ling—with a perfectly lovely
marcel and a trick fur coat—
sitting pensively beside Militant
Mama—meditating on her ■
wrongs.
Now does—or doesn’t —an ex
hibition like that make you want
to climb to the top of the high
est building and screech —“OH,
BALONEY!”
The Big Idea
What’s the big idea of this
sort of thing happening in Am
erica where we are supposed to
have equal suffrage?
DOES OR DOES NOT EQUAL
SUFFRAGE IMPLY EQUAL SUF
FERING?
And if it does, why should
young husbands be expected to
take all the hard breaks and
young wives expect to be kept
in glass cases .. or snatched
home by irate parents if they
aren’t?
How come this notion that
the Missis must be treated in
“the style to which she is ac
customed?”
Why must a husband carry '
on where papa leaves off?
Why can’t the Beautiful
Bride do a little carrying on
for herself? Must she have a
DO YOU KNOW THAT—
Modem scales which, when
one article is weighed, will tell
the weight of any given num
ber of the same article, are in
use in England.
To aid in rescue from burn
ing buildings a sled has been
invented in Germany upon
which a person can be strapped
and slid down a ladder.
A folding house, which may
be packed into a box and
wheeled behind an automobile,
is a German invention for use
on week-end trips.
Experiments to obtain high
grade bond paper from wheat
and oats straw are under way
at lowa State College.
By Elsie Robinson
cook just because mama had
one... and beach villas and
trips to Europe just because
that sort of thing runs in the
family.
The old folks started from
the scratch. This newly ac
quired husband of hers is also
starting from the scratch. Why
shouldn’t Honey Blossom heave
herself out of the taffeta
ruffles and do a little scratch
ing herself?
Time was when it was con
sidered romantic for the banker’s
daughter to marry the grocer’s
son. And the funny papers
were full of jokes about the
young wife’s efforts to make
biscuits “like mother used to
make.” Now it’s nix on. the
biscuits and if our hero can’t
provide star sapphires “like
mother used to wear” he finds
himself divorced on grounds of
mental cruelty.
Facing the Breaks
Not that there aren’t, still,
millions of grand little girls
who are willing to take love
“for better or worse” and face
the breaks as they come. But
the feeling is certainly growing,
amongst our Bracket Incomes,
that it practically amounts to
assault ’n battery to ask the
new Missis to wash her own
dishes.
And the only thing that
makes me sicker than a wife
like that is the type of husband
who lets her get by with it.
Why should any hard work
ing, serious young man wish
a pain like that on the back
of his neck —now I ask you?
But they do. And then cry
about it forever after.
Yet Lincoln died to free the
slaves!
It can’t be done, Abe.
You can give the average
young male all the freedom and
privileges on earth—including
telephone numbers galore—and
yet he’ll go right out and mort
gage his whole future to win
some female knicknack that’ll
keep him in the chain gang
for the rest of his life. Well,
Ripley could certainly keep his
column going for years ’n
years just by drawing husbands.
(Copyright, 1931, King Features
Syndicate, Inc.)
A “reading machine” has been
invented in Germany, which
will project printed pages upon
a screen enabling either a
family or an entire audience to
read together. The projector
greatly enlarges the picture, per
mitting several book pages of
normal size reading to be repro
duced from a film the size of
a postal card.
A tiny camp stove, which
will fit in a pocket and bums
gas from a small portable
tank, has been invented.
An umbrella having the handle
at an angle with the frame, so
the top can be kept level when
raised, has been designed.
And See the
Market Go Up
MARRY-GO-ROUND
Mrs. Solomon Says—
My' Daughter, in all thy
ways with women, be subtle
and tactful. But waste not thy
finesse upon a MAN. For sub
tility is lost upon him.
Behold, a woman perceiveth
the meaning behind the smile
and the hidden import behind
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the casual word. But a man
seeth only that at which his
eyes are looking.
Go to. Men say that they
detest a loud and gaudy wo
man. But the damsel with the
henna-colored hair and the
high-art complexion and the
hearty laugh is never left to
sit against the wall.
Lo, all men sing the praises
of the sweet, “reserved” damsel;
yet each man appeareth to
think that she is reserved for
someone else, and passeth her
by for the OBVIOUS damsel.
The maid that lowereth her
eyes may be admired for her
modesty? But she that flasheth
her glances and is not nig
gardly of her smiles is more
often invited out to dinner, and
lacketh not for dates.
Natural beauty is a gift
from heaven and simplicity is
a virtue; but the cheek with
the kissproof bloom and the
lips that are redder than na
ture ever painted them get all
the kisses.
A s subtle wit draweth smiles
from the intelligentsia; but the
ready wisecrack getteth the
laughter of the multitude and
ONCE-OVERS
“Should the bride of the pres
ent time continue to hold her
position in shop or office?”
How much this question is de
bated.
The answer depends so much
upon the young husband’s in
come.
In the majority of cases both
must curtail personal expenses
if one salary to support both
and a home.
It is doubtful if married life
in general would go along
smoothly if the bride has earned
a good salary and is at once
compelled to economize to the
point where she has scarcely a
penny to spend on herself and
very little for household use.
Until within the past two
■ / ■
By T. E. Powers
By Helen Rowland
the hilarious just calleth forth
all the applause.
The modest toilette is ad
mired by women and the im
ported label escapeth not their
eyes; but the backless evening
gown with the spangled straps
causeth men to turn their
heads and gaze.
Hints that are dropped upon
a man’s ears are as snowflakes
upon hot sands; but she that
saith “Qimme!” cannot be mis
understood.
To hide a sorrow beneath a
smile may be brave and noble;
but a woman’s tears soften a
man’s heart and make him as
wax in her hands. And a few
judicious sobs are the strongest
argument with a male jury.
A formal greeting may be
modish; but an enthusiastic
welcome gladdeneth a man’s
heart and causeth him to feel
exceeding pleased with himself.
A veiled compliment passeth
over a man’s head and luke
warm praise abasheth him. But
glowing flattery, laid on with a
shovel, filleth him with self
admiration; and all that which
spilleth over in THINE!
Verily, verily, in make-up and
in manners, the demure and
subtle woman getteth few
breaks among men. But the
OBVIOUS and showy damsel
getteth whatsoever man she
goeth after.
SELAH.
(Copyright. 1931. King Features
Syndicate, Inc.)
years girls have earned fairly
high salaries.
The girls were independent
and could meet ordinary de
mands for the things which
they have learned to consider
necessary to a well-groomed
womafi.
There must be a strong and
enduring love to accept good
naturedly conditions whi ch
mean a less attractive personal
appearance.
The solution seems to be that
young brides should retain
their positions at least until a
“nest egg” is accumulated.
It will greatly assist in keep
ing the home happy.
(Gewight. 1931. by International
Aar vice,-I*:.)
WASHINGTON, D. C.»
DECEMBER 29.1931
The Diplodocus and Mr. Baer
A Short Sermon for Capitalism That Bosses
the Country
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THIS ANIMAL LACKED BRAINS. SO IT VANISHED
The picture above, drawn by John Baer, formerly a Con
gressman representing the farmers of North Dakota, conveys
this simple message:
“IF YOU WANT TO LAST. YOU MUST HAVE BRAINS
IN PROPORTION TO YOUR BUSINESS.”
This large Diplodocus, which now stands reconstructed in
the museums of Washington, New York and elsewhere, had
everything that a “boss animal” ought to have—height, length,
weight, power—but it lacked the one thing that is REALLY
IMPORTANT, and that is intelligence.
Satisified with its bulk and power, it never did any thinking.
The other animals had developed intelligence, speed, quickness,
and in due time Mr. Diplodocus vanished from the earth, simply
because HE COULDN’T THINK.
; Mr. Baer’s cartoon, published in Labor and other news
papers, carries with it a message intended for “capitalism”
which will interest some of those among capitalists that, unlike
the diplodocus, HAVE some brains.
Here are extracts from that message:
“This, ladies and gentle
men. is the diplodocus. He
lived in Utah 170,000.000
years ago, or thereabouts,
when the country was more
marsh than desert.
“If a being from some other
planet had visited Utah in
those days, he would have
said that the diplodocus
would lord it over the coun
try forever. The brute was
too big to be harmed. He
was as long as a Pullman
car, as tall as a giraffe—
though not in the same
place; he weighed as much
as several large elephants, he
had a tail that began like a
tree trunk and ended like a
whiplash.
“But he had a brain the
size of a scrubby apple; and
that is why he doesn't live in
Utah or anywhere else any
more. His epitaph contains
just two words: ‘No brains.’
“Lacking brains, all his teeth
and tail and tonnage went
for nothing. He was ousted
by mammals—little creatures
with hairy skins that nursed
their young and developed
their minds.
“Modern Capitalism bulks
bigger in the economic world
than the diplodocus did in the
Mesozoic marshes. It is be
ing challenged today as mam
mals challenged the dino
saurs eons ago. And the out
come of the challenge de
pends on the same question.
‘Has Capitalism brains
enough to survive? It has
vast size, and an all-devour
ing appetite, and a thick skin,
and still thicker layers of
economic fat, and a long
neck composed of hired ex
perts. and. a whinlash tail of
paid propagandists. But has
it the necessary quantity of
brains?
That statement, representing the opinion of organized labor,
which is powerful and thoughtful, will interest intelligent men
among capitalists.
And those men will not be entirely without a reply. They
will say, perhaps:
“What you call ‘capitalism’ has raised wages from a maxi
mum of one dollar a day. which prevailed in the United States
not so very long ago, to four, five, ten, twelve dollars a day
and more.
“What you call ‘capitalism’ has put running water, bath
tubs, radio sets, vacuum cleaners into millions of American
houses.
“‘Capitalism’ has distributed 25,000,000 automobiles —and
they all run—among the people of the United States.
“ ‘Capitalism’ supplies the people of the United States with
gas and oil at less than half the prices paid by people in other
countries.
“ ‘Capitalism’ has organized industry on a basis that, until
lately, kept prosperity going higher and higher.
“ ‘Capitalism’ hasn’t thought about the millennium. It
hasn’t made it unnecessary for anybody to work if he didn’t
feel like it. It hasn’t, unfortunately, made everybody happy
and secure.
“But are you quite sure that Socialism, or Communism, or
any other ‘ism,’ or even union labor itself, in full charge of the
nation, would have done any better and produced better results?
“Labor and Socialism have recently been in charge of Eng
land and the world sees what has happened there.’’
There is something to be said on both sides of every ques
tion and it is well to hear and think out both sides. The dipl®«
docus probably did not do that.
“It hasn’t shown them yet.
“If Capitalism is to sur
vive it must make a better
distribution of wealth than it
has done so far.
“It mustn’t give 504 very
rich men as much net in
come in one year as 2,300,-
000 American farmers get
for their entire wheat and
cotton crops the next.
“It mustn’t leave 6,000,000
people out of work and de
prived of all income in a
country where a few thou
sand other folk have wealth
that makes Croesus look like
a pushcart peddler.
It must have less arrogance
and more understanding. It
must quit flaunting luxury in
the face of hunger. It must
earn its right to last by mak
ing people happy and secure.
“But these things require
brains; and the United States
Chamber of Commerce thinks
everything would be perfectly
all right if taxes on rich men
were reduced. Not much sign
of gray matter there; and
the United States Chamber of
Commerce is the head and
front of Capitalism in this
country.
“Capitalism is monarch of
all it surveys; but its right
to reign is being challenged.
It has position, power, pres
tige, weight, respectability
and a thousand other advan
tages.
“But unless Capitalism de
velops a brain that is capa
ble of dealing with the eco
nomic problems which are
plaguing the United States
and most of the world today
—well, the time is coming
when the diplodocus will
have company.”