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8 AH In a Day -By- MARK MELLINGER NEW YORK, March 26. My secretary, James Burbridge, just returned from my bank. That’s rather a silly sentence because, in the first place, I certainly don’t need a bank. I keep them both only because the situation permits me to enjoy myself. My secretary always allows me to overdraw my account, and the bank calls up to find out what’s the matter with my secretary. I then send my secretary over to find out what’s the matter with the bank. It’s all very intriguing. At any rate, I was just casting about for an idea for today’s space when Mr. Burbridge raced into my office. That, in itself, was a highly unusual occurrence—for Mr. Burbridge is more of a creeper than a racer. An extremely quiet man, he provides the perfect balance for a nervous monkey such as I. Big Doings at Bank “Big doings at the bank. Mark,.” he cried. My secretary always calls me Mark and I call him Mr. Burbridge. What happened?” I queried. “Don’t tell me they’ve gone and made Winchell the treasurer?” “No,” returned Mr. Burbridge. “Not yet. But big doings just the same. Seems as though the city is flooded with coun terfeit $lO bills. The clerk told me it’s the finest imitation they’ve ever handled.” I sighed and turned back to the typewriter. “Are you kidding me?” I de manded. “Not at all,” he replied. “Why don’t you take my advice for a change? You certainly can’t do any worse than some of those columns you’ve been turning out, so try one of my stories.” He had me there. The argu ment was over. “All right,” I said. “I’ll try it. But I’m telling you right now that it will never be any good. Let’s see. "Suppose we do call the man Mr. Smith. We’ll say that he ■was a man with a peculiar ob session in life. From the time that he first entered high school he dreamed of the day that he would invent the per fect counterfeiting machine. That’s not bad for a beginning. Obsession Grows “As he grew older the obses sion grew with him. He went to college and took every course that could possibly help him in the struggle to attain his goal. We’ll say that his parents were dead, and that he had a small income from the estate every month. Just enough, that is, to enable him to live and carry on in his work. “When he left college he be gan to experiment. His every move, his every dream had to do with his obsession. Some day he was going to perfect a machine in which the plates were so fine that he could man ufacture money by the mil lions —and nobody would be able to detect the counterfeit from the original. “So we carry him along for some 20 years. No marriages. No loves. No pleasures. Not for this very strange Mr. Smith. His work was his everything. And one afternoon as he stood in his laboratory he shrieked with joy. He had done it! The bill he held in his hand was positively genuine. There wasn’t an expert in the world who could note any difference. And he had made it with his own hands! Not Crook at Heart “Now, wait a minute. At this point we’ll have to look around for an ending. Suppose we say that Mr. Smith was not a crook at heart. By no means. His goal had been the perfect ing of thr- counterfeiting ma chine. He had reached his goal. Now what to do? “After careful deliberation he approached one of the biggest men in the underworld. We must bring in the underworld, Mr. Burbridge, or it wouldn’t be a Broadway column. At any rate, Mr. Smith had a !ong talk with this man and when the latter gentleman was convinced he wasn’t talking to a nut he consented to a demonstration of the machine. “A few hours later, the rack eteer was convinced. He told Mr. Smith he would enter a partnership with him, and his organization would unload the money on the nation. But Mr. Smith refused. “ ‘Nothing doing,’ he cried. 'I never had such a course in mind. I want no part in the actual distribution. There is my machine. You leave and re turn with $50,000 in cash—and you can take the entire thing NEXT Prof. Players 6th play of ~ MON. NIGHT their 2nd Sub. Season Olivia Bows, JeK to Mrs C XI NEW COMEDO by Roland Bottomley / with. rwECHiEimsF and an eminent cast / s of artists including* V TAYLOR HOLMES SIDNEY GREENSTREET / FLEMING WARD NICHOLAS JOY , A- a&S JANE WYATT EVELYN CARRINGTON Staffed by Lawrence Marston " Ba i■i■n •" mw* £jVCS.« 50c to $2.50 ~ SHUBERT ft Thur. Mat.. ■■".... ri 1A A 1 I 50c to 51.50 — FLASH 11 sat. Mat. . . faUnWUMr .50c In *2.00 —___ with you. I wash my hands of everything connected with it once it leaves this house.’ The O. Henry Finish “The racketeer shrugged his shoulders. If Mr. Smith was that foolish, why, that was up to him. He left the house and went downtown. In less than an hour, he was back with $50,000 in cash. He handed the money to Mr. Smith. The two men shook hands. The ma china was carried away and the deal was over. “Mr. Smith went to his bank to deposit the money. He reached the teller’s cage. And a minute later, he found him self in terrible trouble. “What do you think had hap pened, Mr. Burbridge? Thfe racketeer had paid him off in counterfeit money!” “That’s fine,” cried Mr. Bur bridge. “It’s got a kick, and everything.” I shook my head. “Don’t be foolish,” I returned wearily. “How could I possibly get a column out of an idea me that?” Donald Woods Is New Leading Man Reversing the order of things, wherein the film industry “raids” the legitimate stage for its ac tors, the National Theater Play ers’ roster for the coming season will number quite a few thes pians who have been weaned from Hollywood. Os those play ers already announced, Kathryn Givney, Ona Munson and Owen Davis, jr., have all seen service on the Hollywood lots. Now comes the announcement * DONALD WOODS from the Players’ management that they have engaged, as the new leading man, one Donald Woods, who was just about to embark on a film career when a telegram from S. E. Cochran lured him back to his first love— the spoken drama. Mr. Wood has had a wide ex perience in the theater despite his youth, starting his stage ca reer at the early age of 14. He has played more than 170 roles. ‘•Don,” as his chums call him, was graduated from the Univer sity of California at Berkeley. His best booster is none other than Addie Hibbard, the grand old lady of the National Theater Players, with whom he played an engagement of 45 weeks in Hous ton and Indianapolis. THE WASHINGTON TIMES OLD-TIMERS HIT OF FINE BILL Tanguay Stars in Big Moments of Yesterday •‘THE CARELESS LADY” A Fox Picture THE CAST Sally Brown. Joan Bennett Stephen Hllnctonlohn Bole* Yvette Logan Minna Gombell Jud Carey Weldon Heyburn Ardis DelafieldMora Ijine I I.uls Paredaßaul Roulien KodcrliriiesFortunlo Bonanova Hank Oldfield John Arledre Aunt Cora Josephine Hull Aunt Della Martha Mattox By ANDREW R. KELLEY There’s a pretty happy blend ing of pleasant antiques and the late model 1932 type of enter- $1 Andrew K. Kelley silver locks they still retain their talent for keeping an audience amused. Tanguay Is a Hit Time has been fairly kind to the cyclonic Tanguay. Her figure is still gracefully curved and there is more than a trace of the effervescing bounce and joyous spirit which made her an envied star of the Keith circuit a genera tion ago. With her tousled hair and feathery costumes, Tanguay shouts “I Don’t Care,” her famous hit song, accompanying it with some of the madcap abandon and prancing distinctly Tanguayish. She made more than a “kind appluse” hit yesterday afternoon. Those venerable Dutch comics, Rice and Cady, register again with, their mangled English. Corinne shows -what the hi-de-hi, ho-de-ho girl of 1900 did to wake up the customers; George Harrison demonstrates that 70- year-old feet can still shake out a hot shuffle; Choc Cho, the health clown, proves that regular exercise can overcome hardening arteries; Billy Kenney is down from Capitol Hill to contribute a bone solo and a rabble raising suggestion that the budget bal ancers spare the Government pay rolls; Dan Barrett, May Hoey, Tom Kelly, Alexander and Eve lyn, Freddy Ford, Hi Tom Ward and Burt Jordan contribute gay specialties. All of this lavender and senti ment entertainment is bossed by the 78-yearold Hank Brown. Bossed cleverly, too, by a glib veteran who sheds his upper and lower plates to toss off a nifty monologue. The dignity and class of the program is provided by the George Washington University mixed chorus. This is a melo dious and thoroughly worth while musical interlude with well blended voices heard in semi classical selections appropriate to the cathedral setting. Interesting Movie “Careless Lady” is the screen attraction with Joan Bennett featured in a story that reminds much of the Constance Bennett fiction “Lady With A Past.” It is an unexciting, but interest ing, tale of a country girl who finds that she is neglected by the desirable males. So she ac quires clothes and sophistication, poses as married, goes to Paris, becomes innocently involved and lands a rich and attractive hus band. The easy to look at Joan Ben nett does nicely with a made to order role. The placid love mak ing of John Boles fits agreeably into the action and his voice is heard to advantage in a love lyric, “When You Hear This Song Remember Me.” Minna Gombell, Josephine Hull and Wel don Heyburn provide good sup port. Movietone shows Phar Lapp winning his first race on this side of the continent, scenes in the South’s flooded area and more Japanese-Chinese war shots. The best all round show that has hit the Fox in weeks. You’re sure to find something you’ll like. Next at Gayety “Hello, Good Times” will be the next burlesque revue attraction at Gayety Theater, opening Sun day matinee, April 3. WARNER BROS. THEATRES I H Bl ■■. TODAY"a ■ He Lived a Lie to HI — Bl Save Another! _ ■ Richnrd ■ H ■ B BARTHELMESS g" B _ In First National’s Z B -■ “ALIAS THE DOCTOR” ■_ ■g WITH MARIAN MARSH g B On the Stage B g B ROSETTA DUNCAN "g g 1 YORKE and KING B g T® And Other Acts fT || 26c TO 1 P. M. || INOW Bg A Thrill Hunt to Six g Wild Countries With ■ SIX NOTED EXPLORERS Bg “EXPLORERS OF B- THE WORLD” Bg HAROLD NOICE *g Director and Noted Explorer g| IN PERSON g> BENNY RUBIN COMEDY B || 26c TO 1 P M j ■* tainment on the |F o x Theater | program this ■ week. Alto- I gether it adds ■ up a fine diver- I sion for the I Easter show | shopper. I The adoles- Icent movie-goer E perks up for a I critical glimpse I of Eva Tanguay I and other old (timers who " made grandpa laugh. Despite Thrills of Six Explorers Filmed in Exciting Animal Movie From the ice and strangeness ♦ of the Alaskan lands to the inner most wilds of central Africa, from Brazil to Tibet, to So uth er n seas, on a magic ~ carpet of travel, • k? is the Easter w week offering at W the Metropoli- | j| tan. Under the ® -w ex P er t direction ■y jadL- Fof Harold Noice, the htew en_ tertaining ex- Plorations of six I world famous ,:r travelers are w in making a film hakold noice o f intelligence and widely diverse interest. Harold McCracken takes us on his boat to Alaska, tracking the walrus, uncovering the remains of an ancient civilization, and dis covering rare Jairds and sea beasts | in their native haunts. Then with Gene Lamb we go on a strange honeymoon of two I years through China to the lands' of the wild Tibetan tribes. Far • more exciting than our commer cialized wrestling is his moving' picture of a native sporting event, I an elephant fight. With the aid of a long vision camera James L. Clarke presents otherwise imposible shots of the.; animals of central Africa and the Belgian Congo. Through Arctic Seas Continuing our travel, we plow through the Antarctic Seas with Lieutenant Commander Stanhousel and know the thrill of chasing j whale, gaining as we go, further enlightenment as to the habitues of these lands. Dr. Laurence M. Gould, who trekked the frozen wastes of Little America to establish food headquarters for Byrd’s flight over the South Pole, tells of the hardships, the interest, and of discoveries made. This lightning journey of BIOW PLAYING TOPPIHC THE thaills of wfl QRDER HOW LLER fIEF fln ~\v JHM * ••cTunfX H r & Art °°or s Llll T I•! F 1 w opf * J RkTjrinjibiri Aj irJ 949 > LUISE CRACKER'S Bl ■ FIRST OfIAmRTIC HIT! ■ HAIRES I fHADGE EVAfIS I j MvMrtvn ROMANCE AND MUSIC f t wL. . I: ■Brw ® xr y \ W V - ** - v Or ** .«r4 \ ■ SJhl MARIAN PALMER and Allan Rogers, featured in “The Chocolate Soldier,” the Strauss operetta which opens at the National Theater on Sunday night. The National Daily ►strange lands, little known beasts, queer customs, and unheard of people closes with the experi ences of Harold Noice up the Amazon River, into Brazil, and the lands of the Indian natives. ; His personal interruption seems almost cruel but for the fact that his verbal tales outshine the ones on the screen. He carries us from high interest to intense in terest with his stage appearance. Paramount News Reel and a Benny Rubin comedy short com plete this novel bill.—H. W. Kennedy Clicks Edgar Kennedy will continue his “Mr. Average Man” come dies in a new series to be made at the R-K-O-Radio Pictures studio. The comedian was signed for six more pictures by David O. Selznick. SENATORS, WAIT! I Don't vote on Repeal or Beer un til you’ve seen the PROHIBITION FAIR *5S L The House refused to vote on Re peal. and the Senate can get full light on the issue at this Fair! WASHINGTON AUDITORIUM 25c to ir. M. 35c to 5:30 | f IJL FASCINATING B JOAN BENNETT IN j “CARELESS LADY” * WITH JOHN BOLES ■ • CYCLONIC EVA TANGUAY in Fanchon & Marco’s “Stars of Yesterday" Idea BILLY KENNEY Washington’s Minstrel Star • Geo. Washington University Mixed Chorus of 85 Voices kelly r ' _\ y'SM ,'wmJHF'Ki IsZflwl n i. n> qj;yJJ iH >Fh ~ j"b~ F-fl . [ill Va a J "PERFECT CONTROL' Q»z LUCKV RABBII EYES HAVE IT" J SATURDAY—MARCH 26—1932 "Tarzan" is Full of Exciting Incident “TARZAN, THE APE MAN” An M-G-M Picture The Cast Tarzan. Johnny Welxatnuller Jane Parker.. .Maureen O'Sullivan Mm. Cullen Doris Lloyd Harry Holt N>ll Hamilton James Parker.. ,C. Aubrey Smith Os all the amazing scripts to go into action on the screen “Tarzan, the Ape-Man,’’ showing currently at Loew’s Columbia, is head and shoulders above them all for sheer imagination. Imaginative Story What story there is concerns itself with a safari bent on find ing the graveyard of elephants for there lies a fortune in ivory. The African natives cannot be induced to talk of such a place where superstitution and fear go hand in hand. James Parker, his daughter Jane, Harry Holt and a dozen or more guides and aides de-camp reach an unknown land after hazarding great danger; they are mystified by a weird al most human call which causes a maddened herd of hippos to stop in their rush on the safari. Sud denly they see a lithe and bronzed young man swinging from tree to tree with the agility of an ape and as suddenly he disappears with the girl; she is ternfied, but is able to make him understand that he must take her back which he does. The safari is then captured by a tribe of dwarfed savages and the girl’s cry to a playful young gorilla results in the most per fectly timed rescue Tarzan has accomplished to date; the rescue is the climax, the end is obvious. Animals In Support Johnny Weissmuller, swimming champion, makes a great job of the title role and throws in some plain and fancy diving answim ming; Maureen O’Sullivan is good to look at and nothing much is demanded of her; C. Aubrey Smith is capable as the doting but determined father, but Neil Hamilton is rather lost as the man who did not get the girl. The support is made up of lions, tigers, leopards, ’gators and a large assortment of apes. There is a Paramount newsreel with Senator Bingham making a plea for a glass of good beer, and there is an animated cartoon comedy, but our guarantee is that you”! find plenty of anima tion in the feature picture and how the boys will love it.—K. Y. B Auditorium day ■ ■ TODAY—LAST 2 TIMES I ■ Matinee. 50c to $2.50 ■ " Fonifcht. 50c to $8 K~ Ruly VALLEE-Willie S Eugene HOWARD [ fl Everett MARSHALL-Ray BOLGER fl EttielßarrymoreCOLT-GALEQuadruDlets fl [howard] at T Sts. N. W—DEC. 5250 M W —STARTING TODAY— ■ M SPECIAL EASTER W ■ HOLIDAY SHOW » < STEPIN FETCHITI ■ SCREENLANDS GREATEST M W “LAZY’’ MOVIE STAR ■ I IN PERSON J ■ HEADING HIS OWN BIG K W STAGE SHOW OF 50 ■ f “HOT FROM 1 f HOLLYWOOD”! Inclndingr < CLUB HOLLYWOOD 1 F ORCHESTRA f 810 Demons of Jazz Syncopation W ■ SPECIAL MIDNITE SHOWS W StUESDAY and FRIDAY F W —Next WEEK- LY First Time on Any Stasre £ K "BLACK and WHITE W ■ 9 REVUE OF 1932“ B Fox Program Has Joan Bennett Also in Interesting Romantic Story IN NEW PLAY 1 JANE WYATT, who has a prominent role in “Olivia Bows to Mrs. Grundy,” the new farce, which features Janet Beecher and opens at the Belasco Theater Monday night. Columbia Group Will Do Play By Barry The Columbia Players, who with their recent victory in this year s city-wide one-act play' tournament, brought their record to three first places in six con tests, are now busily at work re hearsing Philip Barry’s three-act play, “Holiday” to be presented late in April. The Players won the one-act tournament with “The Monkey’s Paw” in 1929; repeated their vic tory in 1930 with “When the Ship Goes Down,” and this year scored with Paul Green’s “Quare Medicine.” Not content with I winning the play prize, the group also walked off with the first individual prize for acting, won by Frank Jamison, and the first prize for diction and voice, won by Orris Holland, who is directing “Holiday” and fast whipping it into shape. GAYETY PLAYING LAST CHANCE TO-DAY TO SEE BLACK & WHITE REVUE 70—PEOPLE—70 | NATIONAL rX ■ w Night«, 50c to $2.50. Wed. Mat., 50c to $1.50. ■ W Sat. Mat.. sOc to *2.00. ■ gap mmmjlU \ - «O^ : MpMSBg» ' 6I2ILLIANT GST INCLUDES ALLAN 906ERS I l“W5a& SARAH EDWARDS 'W '▼ dOUHDUHSMURE S W MARIAN PALMES-EDMONDMULCAHY* - JB ™ EO VON TASSEL -S" WSiMIL W • ■ « I filorioos Singing Ensemble-Superb Orchestra I weekTapml IMHELEN HAYES ' - MOLNAIVS NEW COMEDY.. I THE GOOD FAIRY wdh the cdhn/u/ -Mclfar d/au Ifor/c, and dhoducldm intact I EVENINGS -$ 2.50 - $2:00- sr.sO - $l.O 0 50 t I MatunaA. Wednesday a*ut satuilday - so< to- $2:00 I 5 DAYS ONLY BEG. TUES., APR. 12 ARCH SELWYN B th" Welwyntheatre*, Qy. ’ THE GREATEST ALL STAR. CAST EVER SENT ON TOUR IN AMERICA ! ARTHUR BYRON-BASIL RATHBONE -ROBERT LORAINE ■ MARY NASH-CECILIA LOFTUS-DIANA WYNYARO d ERIC BLORE-J. MALCOM DUNN Sic. // BENN W. LEW Smakhuuf famuli/Jtit I MAIL ORDERS NOW—Oreh.. »2.50: Bal., 52.00. 51.50 & »I.oos 2nd Bal., 50c »S' Wed. A Sat. Mata.. Oreh., 52.00; Bal.. 51.50 * *1.00: 2nd Bal.. 50c. BEGINNING MONDAY, APRIL 18th EIGHTH ANNUAL SPRING AND SUMMER SEASON 8. E. COCHRAN and CLIFFORD BROOKE Offer National Theatre Players OPENING ATTRACTION |“A CHURCH MOUSE” WILLIAM A. BRADY’S PLAYHOI SE, N. Y.. SI CCESS I SUBSCRIPTION'S. AT REDUCED RATES, ACCEPTED FOR THE ?M 1» WEEK SEASON. Nighta. for All Ten Playa. >7.50, >5.110 A- *2.50. ,’;T Mata.. Wed. A Sat.. >I.OO A >2.50. Application Blank* at Hot OtHoe. Ba Single Sale Opens Mon.. Apr. llth. Nighta, >I.OO, 75c and 50c Wed. I A Sat. Mata., All Seats .*►<»«•. Plenty of Laughs in Fun Movie at Rialto Well, life is like that—one min ute, quite the rage in Hollywood —the next, flapping hot cakes in Hillsboro. And thus the Cohens and the Kellys, lately of Africa, where elephants meant ivory and lions meant business, have gone Holly wood—all done in a big way in “The Cohens and the Kellys in Hollywood,” showing currently at the Rialto. Gobs of Laughs The show Is good for gobs and gobs. of laughs—the kind of laughs you sort of feel ashamed of after it’s all over. You know those atrocious stances and grimaces of the fight-all-the-time honest-to-goodness friends, Charlie Murray and George Sidney. Anyway, the story is a saga of filmdom from the days of the melodramatic silent version through that strange era of the theme song. And the Cohens and the Kellys got hit for both —the Kellys with their lovely daughter, Kitty, whose silent stardom couldn’t talk, and (the Cohens with their handsome i son, Melville, whose theme sone got the air with a lot of othci I theme songs. Foster Is Good The funniest thing, really, i how terribly snooty these Hills boro hot cake flappers ..re ?. Hollywood goes to their heads And the Cohens are quite a> • snooty until—well, life is like that. Though theme songs take it or ■ the chin with a right hard punch in the story, “Where Are You?’ , the Melville Cohen success, one of those things you go away hum ming, is played over and ovei again. | Norman Foster, who has s winning boyishness as Melville ought to be starred. The boy i: good. It’s time somebody oul there in Hollywood recognized it “Slim” Summerville goes in foi his usual slapstick in an amus | ing short “In the Bag,” And thus the Cohens and the Kellys, lately of Africa, where elephants meant ivory and lions meant business, have gone Holly wood—all done in a big way in “The Cohens and the Kellys in Hollywood,” showing currently at the Rialto. The show Is good for gobs and gobs. of laughs—the kind of laughs you sort of feel ashamed of after it’s all over. You know those atrocious stances and grimaces of the fight-all-the-time honest-to-goodness friends, Charlie Murray and George Sidney. Anyway, the story is a saga of filmdom from the days of the melodramatic silent version through that strange era of the theme song. And the Cohens and the Kellys got hit for both —the Kellys with their lovely daughter, Kitty, whose silent stardom couldn’t talk, and the Cohens with their handsome son, Melville, whose theme song got the air with a lot of other theme songs. Foster Is Good Though theme songs take it on the chin with a right hard punch in the story, “Where Are You?" the Melville Cohen success, one of those things you go away hum ming, is played over and over again. Norman Foster, who has a winning boyishness as Melville, ought to be starred. The boy is good. It’s time somebody out there in Hollywood recognized it. “Slim” Summerville goes in for his usual slapstick in an amus ing short “In the Bag,” JAB. 5 De Luxe Show* Today Doors Open 10 A. M. WHEELER & WOOLSEY y Sand Star Cast “GIRL CRAZY” Georre Gershwin Music w ? Plus RKO Vaudeville featuring JACK WHITING V Coming K/M “YOL’NG BRIDE” Mt Stage—ROW GANG ratsosao