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I 869. “ Tis Liberty Alone that Gives the Flower of Fleeting Life its Lustre and Perfume—and We are Weeds Without it.’’ 1880. VOL. XIII.—NO. 15. SNOW HILL, WORCESTER COUNTY, MARYLAND, SATURDAY, APRIL 16, 1881. SLOP PER ANNUM. The Democratic Messenger, Pvbi.is-*i> Eneas Satckday ns LITTLETON DENNIS. Proprietor AT SNOW HIU. WfJRCESTF.S 00.. MO. Subscription, £1 a. Year in Advance. Liberal made with dub*. Carreapondcnetj solicited from all parts of tbr county. 1 advertising r vtes. One dollar for one inch space will he charged for tbo first insertion, ami fifty cents for each *uhaKquent insertion. A liberal discount will las made on quarterly Air. months, or yearly advertisements. Local notices will be iuserted at 20 cents nor line. * Marriage and death notices inserted tree. Obituary notices inserted at half advertising rates. All advertising bill* are due after the fir-t insertion, unless otherwise agreed upon. LITTLETON DENNIS, Snow Uili. Md PROFESSTONAI. CA R/)S. A DIAL P. BARNES, -• v ATTORNEY-AT-lAW. Office opposite Court House. Snow Hill. M i. Will visit Poeomoke City every Saturday. Strict attention given to the collection ol claims. / T LAYTON J. PURNELL, ATTORNEY-AT-LAW. Offlco opposite Court House, Snow Hiiil. Md. Strict atuntivui given to tlie eolleetion ol claims. Will visit Berlin on the second Satur day of every month. FfDWARD D. MARTIN, 4 ATTORNEY-AT-LAW. , Office opposite Towm Hall. Beriir, Md. Special attention given to the collection of ■c'alms. j? DWARD B. BATES, * 4 (Late of Baltimore Bar,l ATTORNEY AND COi NSELOIt-A'f-LAW. Snow Hill. Md. Office opposite Court House, adjoining the Post Office. | ieorgf. X. UPSHUR, ATTORNEY-AT-LAW. Office. Court House Square, Snow Hill. Md. Prompt attention giten to the collection of claims, | GEORGE W. PURNELL, ' 1 ATTORNEY-AT-LAW. Office,opposite Court House. Snow Hill. Md. Claims promptly oolleetcd. Will visit Poco ntoke City on tlie second Saturday of each month. /GEORGE W. COVINGTON, ATTORNEY-AT-LAW. Office, Court House Square, Snow Hill. Md. Prompt attention given to the collection of claims. SAMUEL H. TOWNSEND, ATTORNEY-AT-LAW. Office, opposite Court House, Snow Hill. Md. Trompt attention given to the collection of claims. \\ r M. SiDNF.Y WILSON, * ’ ATTORNEY-A f-LAW. Office on Washington Street three doors aliove Post Office. Snow Hill. Md. Immediate attention given to the collection of claims. n& EL E. DASHIKLi . DEN i IST. Office, optyOsite Franklin Bouse, Snow Hill. Will visit Berlin on Thursday. Fridaj i*.m! Stiturdav of each week. All operation* on the teeth performed in the roost -klilfui man ner, HOTEL S. NATIONAL HOTEL^ CLate Col. DvmockV.) Opposile Court House, Snow Hill Mil. Large Airy Room*, Excellent Table. H-mic Comforts Permanent and transient guests K.nUiy re ceived and hospitably entertained. Terms. 91.50 jwr day. Hacks at the 11. K. Depot to meet all trains J. S. PRICE. Proprietor. SALISBURY HOTEL, ULMAN k BR0„ Proprietors. I>ivixio>i Sfr>*f, oppohiilo Court House. SALISBURY. MD First-class Ih-slaurant, Billiard Parlor. Bar, and Livery Stable attached. Free Hocks at Depot to meet all trains. Passengers conveyed to any part of the Peninsula upon the most favorable terms. TERMS. 91.50 PER DAY. First-class accommodations and home com forts. CLARKE HOUSE, POCOMOKE CITY, MD, 11. ('. IMMVKLL, Proprietor. Accommodations Unsurpassed FIRST-CLASS BAR ATTACHED. T Willey A: Bros.’ Livery Stable eon nee te-' with tills House. ATLANTIC HOTEL.! ■ (I.KTK KnOMSII'm.) CHINC’OTKAtiriO ISLAND. VA. \V. J MATTHEWS * CO.. Proprietor-. The undersigned beg leave to inform theii friends and the general public that they have leased a d r< furnished the above elegant and c miinodious bouse, and are now prepared to lie ommndate permanent and transient guests in first-cla s style. Large airy room-. Home comforts. Fine S> a anil Eav Fishing, Gunning and Bathlrg. elc. Til- table is provided with Wild Fo *l, Ten spin. Fish, Oysters, Crabs, and all the luxniies of ih' season. Pleasure boats of all kinds, guides, fishing lines, decoy*, ponies, etc., always ready for tb use of guests. First-class Bar aHacbed. Choice wines, Iquors, ales, beer- and cigars. Pus-engers for ( hincoteague connect with ►i-Hiner r th' blind at Franklin Oity, the terminus ot tin Wo center Railroad, morning and evening. Connection may also be made d rily a* Na-hvilie. All who visit the Atlantic may rest sssur. d that they will receive cour teous treatment and excellent fare. Jour patronage is respeetfaily solieited. W. J. MATTHEWS £ 00, IfPW" VSSSSWKWM . | THE PLOUGH 11A SDR' SOSO. j Nij<grer mighty happy w’en he lavin' bv eo'n— Dnt sun’s a slantin’: Nigger mighty happy w’en he year de dinner lio’u— Dnt sun’s a slantin’: En he mo' liappv still w’en de night draws on— Dnt sun’s a slantin': Dat snn's a slantin’ des ex sho's yon bo'u 1 En it’s rise up, I’rimus ! fetch nnudder yell: Dat ole dim cow des a shakiu' up 'er bell, En de frogs chnnin’ up ’fo’ de jew done fell: Good niglit Mr. Killdee ! I wish you mighty well! —Mr. Killdee! I wish you mighty well! —I wish von mighty well! De eo'n 'll lie ready ’g'inst dumplin’ day— Datsun's a slantin': But nigger gutter natch, en stick, en stay— Dnt sun's a slantin': Same ex de bee-martin wntehin' nil de jay— Dat snn's a slantin'; Datsun's a slantin' en a slippin' away ! Den it's rise no, Primus ! eugin it t'nni strong: De cow's gwine home wld der ding-dang-dong; Sling in anudder tctch er de ole time song: Good night. Mr. Whipjienvill! don't stay long ! Mr. Whippcrwiil! don't stay long ! Don’t slay long ! De sliaddcrs. dey er ereepin’ todcs do top er do -hill Datsun's a slantin'; But night don't strov w'at de day done bull’— Datsun's a slantin': 'Less de noddin' er de nigger give de ash-cake a chill— Datsun's a slantin'; Dat Min's a slantin' on slippin' down still! Den sing it out. rrimus ! des holler en bawl, En w'ilst we er strippin' doze mules for de stall Ed de gals ketch dc soun'erde plantation call: Oh, it's good night, ladies! mv love nntcr von all ! —Ladies ! my love nntcr you all I —My love uiiter you all! Joel Chandles Hauihs. ————————— OUR VILLAC7. A Itii ml lr of Reniinfsecnees of an Old Fashioned Conntry Coiniiiiinity. A few years ago I was accustomed to pass some of the summer and autumn months in a quiet towu of Westchester county, N. Y. Quiet, did I say? It was remarkably so. Nothing has dis turbed the dream-like repose of its people from generation to generation. They go on living and dying, both con ditions l>eing very much alike from father to son, all of them appearing to l>e of about the same age. The village church is the only scene of excitement, and this consists of wed dings, funerals and revivals, all equally depressing. Brother Leeds.has always shod men, women and children on the same pat tern, and Bob Harrington never adopts improvements in horseshoeing. They all have ways that are unalterable, and i we who lived among them dropped into their grooves. We came to believe that these ways of high antiquity must be right. When Bob told me that the bunch on my horse’s hip denoted a spavin I allowed him to “doctor” him accordingly; and when Bill Rowe the storekeeper said that my blind dog would lie cured by his liniment i bought a bottle of it from him. Then there was one favorite occupa tion that kept the minds of the people uncomfortably astir. It was “taking the law” on each other. There was j constant litigation of some sort or other : going on, and Squire Johnson, who 1 lived on the hill overlooking the lake, ! was “setting” somewhere all the time, | to the neglect of the business ■ f his | farm. There was scarcely property ! enough in the town to attack to any I purpose in lawsuits, but there were 1 chickens and character. Tlie former ; gave rise to a suit compared with which Jarndyce against Jarndyce was nothiug. It arose originally from the fact that Jim Rvan “shooed” his neighbor’s liens away from his garden. This charge increased to that of shooting the liens, and this was gradually mag nified into an assault and battery with intent to kill the owner of the hens, and would probably have culminated in will ful murder if the complainant had not died a natural death liefore the termina tion of the suit. We never had any literary entertain ment in our village. Thought, study and intellectual progress were totally suppressed. There was no progress of any kind in that direction. When an adventurous interloper dared to suggest that shade trees along the line of the main road would beautify it and add to the comfort of travelers, everybody was astonished at his audacity. “Trees,” exclaimed old Yollock, “why should I set ’em out ? I’ll never live to see ’em grow, even if I eared about ’em!” “But your children will sec them,” urged the innovator. “Let ’em plant their own trees, if they want to,” rejoined Yol lock ; “I don’t lielievc in inch stuff; trees is meant for pertickler purposes. Apple trees is meant to bear apples, ellnm trees make good enough wheel wright work, so does ash and locust; oak and pine trees was meant to burn up in stoves. Shade trees ! Jf divine j Providence had meant to have things of that, kind, it would ha’ sot ’em out nat , ’rally on both sides of the road !” The next day Yollock, to be consistent, cut down for fuel a few straggling willows that grew near his house, making his homestead even more desolate in its ! appearance than it was before. They once attempted to start a debat - 1 ing society in our village, but I think it had only one meeting and the question then was a peculiar one. “Which has done more harm to the world, liquor or women ?” As 1 happened to be present and was called upon by the dominie for an opinion, I endeavored to express it without giving offence to my neighbors who were ranged on the opposing sides. “Good liquor,” I observed, “might be taken under medical advice without in juring any one, and good women Rre most certainly beneficial. Bad liquor and bad women are nndoudtedly both injurious.” This sentiment was so fav orably received that all further debate on any subject was voted to be unneces , sarv, and the club dissolved. 1 The meeting-house was thencefor ward the sole place of assembly and that for prayer aod religious discourse. On one occasion there was an exhorta tion to contribute for the relief of our colored brethren of the South which had an inglorious sequence. As the contri buticn for any cause never amounted to ' more than a few cents, the recipients would not have gained much if the col lection had been made, but the negroes were disappointed even of a penny. “ Can I say a word, Brother Fisk ?” asked Jake YanDyke after the pastor had closed his soul-stirring address. “ Certainly, Brother Van Dyke,” replied the obliging dominie. Now .Take was ' the greatest traveler of the towu. He had once been to New Orleans for his ■ health, and he was never tired of spiu l ning yarns about his adventures in .Tim Leeds’s shoe shop and in Bill Rowe’s store, while he reserved his abundant religious experience for the prayer meeting. Jake arose accordingly and merely remarked: “ Brethereu, I’ve trahveled out there consider'ble, and a lazier, ensseder, sliiftlesser set o’whelps than them niggers be I never see no where ; don’t give ’em a red!” This : appeal was exceedingly effective, as Jake’s side of the question was the eco nominal one, but he was never al lowed to “speak out in meetiu’” agaiu. Our people were excessively parsi monious. In fact, they had little occa sion to spcLd money, as they required no luxuries for body or mind. The necessaries of life were fuel, pork, pota toes and preaching. Fuel was reduced to a minimum by the use of those abominable stoves unfortunately socom mou throughout the country, causing diseases unknown to our ancestors, who knew the value and comfort of the open fireplaces which threw their ruddy glare about the room. Not only have they long since disappeared, but cheerful faces linvedeparted with them. Pinched, weazened and tallow-visaged counte nances of the present era have succeed ed, and have imparted gloom and melan choly to the souls within. Folk and | potatoes were indigenous. Turkeys and j chickens were never eaten except on ; Thanksgiving Days, nearly all that were I raised being sent to market for sale, j But preaching was imported, and was, | nominally, a cash article. 1 say nomi- I nally, for by ever}* available expedient : payment for it was gotten rid of. Tlie dominie’s salary was always in arrears, ! although they took especial eare not to be cheated out of all the service he could possibly render. His sermons were accurately timed, and woe befell him if lie stopped one minute short of an hour. To be sure of being up to the mark he generally spread out his repe titions half an hour longer. Dominie Gilfillan had a convenient way of mak ing a favorite phrase apply to every subject. He would observe :“ In rela tion to what has been said, these con siderations have various relations to you all. In relation to the aged, in relation to the middle-aged, in relation to the young, in relation to saints, in relation to sinners, I may say in all the | relations of life, it has relations in every | direction.” There was no end to his relations, and by an accurate computa ■ tion they were made to do duty for the space of thirty-five minutes in every discourse. Of course his attendance at weddings • and funerals as well as at prayer meet ings and lectures during the week was | considered as obligatory ns the three ; hours of solid preaching on Sundays. Then the poor dominie was expected to make parochial calls and to pray with every family that lie visited. In re i rival times these multiplied duties were ! multiplied again, and there was no rest j for the soul of his body or for the soles |of his feet. All this time the calenla ; tion of his parishioners was how they could get it all out of him for as nearly ; nothing as possible. They would not pay his salary and they would not re pair his dilapidated old parsonage. Dominie Oswall was independent enough !to claim liis rights. He preached often ! from the text, “The laborer is worthy !of liis hire. ” He read from the Scrip tures t ! : e story of Elijah and tlie ravens, 1 interjecting the remark that the ravens j of the present day did not carry around i provisions in their beaks. He was an outspoken old man, and he actually ; threatened to shut off the supply of j preaching if he did not get enough to ; eat and if the roof over liis head was I not shingled. j His predecessor, Dominie Beck, was ! one of those mild-tempered men who ■ never claim any rights that others are j bound to respect. He was at one time j actually in a state of starvation, beside • ! being nearly drowned out. “Brethren,” lie said, piteously, “ you have seen fit to reduce the salary from eight linn- ; dred to six hundred dollars, but I do not complain. If you could con veniently give me a part of that!” At j another time he attempted to work i upon their sympathies by a stroke of humor. Hesitating in his sermon he apologized by remarking: “ I hope you 1 will excuse me for some delay in read ing my notes ; for the rain fell on my , paper, ns I was writing last night, and I Ido not own an umbrella.” Still, they would not pay up the salary, but they benevolently instituted a series of sociables, with the object of raising money in any other way than by the ; direct payment of cash. They would have given their notes for any amount, 1 but. the notes would never have been collected. So these able financiers, i like some political economists, sought to accomplish their end by a species of iudirect taxation. Tlie sociables were supposed to lie 1 i parties for social intercour e. As there was no dancing and there were no plays allowed, the social nature of these ; gatherings was not apparent in a society j where the common topics of conversa tion were neither literary nor edifying, j The men sat in one row and the women in another. There was little Baid and still less thought till a meal was served, chiefly of cake and those innocent stimulants, weak coffee and tea, for which each guest who ohose to partake was charged the sum of twenty-five 1 ; cents. It is true, this involved a direct payment of cash, but those who thus reluctantly disbursed the money had j the satisfaction of reflecting that the parson did not get the whole of it, for a j part of it came back to them in valne 1 received for the benefit of their own j stomachs. The net proceeds of the sociables sometimes amounted to ten ; and on rare occasious to fifteen dollars. ■ The sum was handed over to the dominie • in the slmpe of n gift from his loving l |>eople, who would not pay him their ■ j honest debts. j Elder Culver was what is called a . i standby. As an old Deputy Collector maintains his place in the Custom i ! House through all administrations and a confidential clerk holds on through ' all changes of partnership, so the older • from time almost immemorial, through all the successions of itinerancy, re ; mained as a sort of vice-regent in j ecclesiastical affairs. He assisted the dominie in the services, supplied his place when he was absent, and was the acknowledged leader in prayer meet ings. Occupying a front seat in the ; church he caught all the emphatic passages in prayer and sermon, and : supplemented them with a peculiar : combination of howl and groan that • resembled a war-whoop toned down and : sanctified. It was fearful in the ears j of an unaccustomed stranger and was absolutely terrifying to nervous women ! who heard it for the first time. But to ! those of ns who knew him it came at ' last to sound like an ordinary amen, j Once when Deaeon Dominie Gilfillan, | 1 Hfter preaching somewhat more than an i hour, was seized with a fainting fit, the j ; aged Elder skipped nimbly over the altar rnil, and, as he observed, “took up the thread of the discourse from the beginning,” detaining us an hour and a half longer. Therefore, however much we respected the old man we did not really love him. The elder had a much larger matri monial experience than falls to the gen eral lot outside of Mormondom. He ■ had married his fourth wife, and the j bride was the widow of three previous husbands. So the family was consid- I erably mixed, and the brothers-in-law ! and the sisters-in-law, step-brothers and step-sisters had a nice time in “lawin* on’t.” When Steve Rhodes, the carpenter, died the elder took a prominent part at the funeral, stepping forward after the prayer and proceed- ! ing in thiswise : “ It seems appropriate ' that I should make some remarks on ' this solemn occasion, as 1 have knowetl I Stephen ever since he was a boy. I ! knowed his father too. He was a mem- j ! ber of this church for forty years. Be- j ; sides being a Christian, old Zekiel j Rhodes was a square kind of man. He i was honest in all his dealings, even in > horse trade. I used to trade with j him considerable. Of course he wouldn't tell you the outs of a horse; that j couldn’t be expected. It’s a man's bus- ! ' iness to find them out himself. But Zekiel Rhodes would never lie. Lying, j brethtren, is a failing of some Chris-j ! tians. When a man jines the church it j i don’t give him any such privilege. ■ He ought to be as honest as ho was ' before. We don’t believe in the final ' I perseverance of the saints, but it won’t j do for men to fall from grace too often, i There’s t reat temptation for this in ! horse trading, I know, but it ain t any j excuse. Zekiel Rhodes didn’t have any j j mean ways about him. He never j dropped a cent kind o’ softly into the contribution-box to make believe it was a dollar bill, but he pitched it right in |so that folks could hear it. He’d always | give a man a lift on the road. He loved jto help the women folks out of the wagon. In fact he was one of the best j natured critters I ever knowed. He experienced religion about the same time as my first wife—no, it wan’t, it was my second : and her children and his’n used to go to Sabbath school to- \ gether. They all glowed up together, j and when my third wife jined the church 1 some of them came in too. My son i ' James—no, it wan’t him, for it was Beil—had a change of heart then ; I I wish it had been Jim, but,” and here came a prolonged whoop, “he is still in the gall of bitterness and the bonds of iniquity. The rest of my children, most of ’em, and a considerable part of my fourth wife’s, I’m glad to say, are follerin in the straight and narrer path. I I feel to say that we have been blessed ! as a general thing. We git along as well as could be expected. I’d like to | raise the mortgage on my farm, but it seems to be the Lord’s will to let it lay. Only if I could raise it, I might have a | little more to build up the walls of • ! Zion. Bretheren, I’m afraid we are not so sjieritooally minded as we ougnt to j I lie. It’s difficult for me to hunt up my ! children and git ’em round the family altar. Just now they’re all busy hay- i ing, and because hay has riz they think j more of gittin’ it to market than they '■ ;do about coming to class-meetin’. Like enough hay will go down as a judgment : on ns for our sins and grievin’ the Holy ; Spirit. As I said before, I thought I I I ought to say something on this solemn occasion, and I hope we shall all take ! it to heart.” The elder’s rambling funeral discourse of an hour, is thus compressed, and in cludes the principal points from which he started and returned, always care fully avoiding any reference to the lamented Steve. j One day on returning from the city after a long absence, I questioned , Bill Rowe, who was frequently styled ; i “ the bishop ” on account of his hold | ing a mortgage on the church and thereby was enabled, as lie boasted, to j “dictate the doctrine,” in regard to the ! revival that hud been prevailing. “Well, cap’n” he replied, “it’s about run out. They’ve rung in e’n arnost all ; the young and stopped the dancing. ■ Dean has burned up his fiddle, ami j they’ve brought in about all the back sliders, and t o there ain’t no more stock to work on, and I’m glad ou’t; I dont want to sie no more revivals !” “ Why not?” I asked. “Why not?” he exclaimed. “I’ll I tell you why not. Dominie Gilfillan : set out to run this one on ‘ high moral principles,’ as he called them, and they ain’t no use in revivals. All that they ought to do is to holler and sing. But he wan’t satisfied with that. He told ’em that if thev’d got religion they ought to pay up Eis back salary and the : runnin’ expenses. Now that don't suit me !” ■ “ Don’t suit vou ? Why shouldn’t ; it ?” “Why, don’t you see,” replied tho bishop,' “them fellers all owe me store | bills, and if the dominie's going to get all their monev, where the thundei be I?” We had in those days only a tri weekly mail; not that it mattered much, for few people took any other papers but the county weeklies, with now and then a rare exception in favor of a city daily. These were enough to keep up all the political excitement that found vent in “the store,” where the destinies of the nation were nightly discussed by one or two loud-mouthed partisans, the oracles of the admiring crowd. As for letters, the schoolmaster and the domi nie had one or two on rare occasions, and once in a year the school-girls had valentines. It was only when summer visitors were in the neighborhood that the weight of the mail bag was appre ciable. Yet one night in momentary enthu siasm for improvement, some one sug gested that we ought to have a daily mail. The plan met with general ap ! proval, and with the desire to encourage | it, I observed that if they would sub ' scribe to a petition for it, I would pre sent it in Washington, whither I was in tending soon to go. I eventually received the paper, and on taking it to Washington, related the story of our village to the Assistant i Postmaster-General, who graciously ac ! cceded to the demand, “for,” said he, | “ the people of your village are sadly jin want of information.”— X. V. Eve ning Post. Jay (Joiild on Oranges. “For 300 miles south from Jackson ville, along the St. John’s river, and still further north aud east,” says Jay Gould, telling a reporter about Florida, , which he had just visited, the country !is dotted over with orange groves of from twenty to twenty-five acres in ex tent. It takes about five years for an orange grove to mature fo as to pro duce fruit for the market, but neverthe less new groves are constantly planted, and are looked to as a sure source of revenue. When an orange grove be gins to bear fruit it apparently never wears out. I heard of one tree which bears annually from six to eight thou sand oranges, but that is above the i average. ” “What is the cost of an orange grove ?’’ “As I said,” replied Mr. Gould, ' “they vary in extent from twenty to twenty-five acres, and are worth from ■ $50,000 to SIOO,OOO. But they yield a | handsome percentage. For instance, i Mr. Hart, who lives just above me here, j owns a grove of about twenty-five • acres, and he informs me that it yields him a net income of from $15,000 to j $20,000 a year.” “Is this interest growing?” “ Decidedly so, aud I think that with | in the next five years Florida ought to j be able to supply the entire demand of ! the United States for oranges. I believe that the sweet orange is not a native of j Florida, but has to be grafted upon the i tree which bears the sour orange. On ; one tree you sometimes see oranges. 1 lemons aud limes growing together. Of i course the several fruits have been i grafted, but it is interesting and pecu liar to a Northerner to see these fruits growing in a happy family on one tree. It suggests a horticultural paradise.” Yorktown in Danger. According to The liiehmond Dis patch, there has been made a startling and extraordinary discovery in connec tion with the approaching Centennial i celebration. It will be remembered that I Yorktown, duriug the late war, was oc ! cupied by the contending armies, and 1 : was for a considerable period the head quarters of several of the Federal com manders. Against one of these a con spiracy is said to have been formed, and the most desperate measures were in stituted and well-uigli carried into ex ecution. The entire village was under mined aud dynamite explosives with l electric attachments were placed at different points, so as to secure the I destruction of every living soul in the town. The discovery was a pure ac | eident at the present time. As a North- j ! eru gentleman was looking at the ex tremity of Cornwallis’s Cave he came ! upon a passage just large enough to ad mit the body of a man, and pushing | his investigations found the electric bat ! teries, the dynamitic bombs and all the i appurtenances necessary to blow York town out of existence. Of course the bombs are now harmless. That the j mines were never exploded is only ac ■ counted for by the supposition that their intended victims had departed lie fore the persons who constructed the : mines had completed their murderous j arrangements. The explosives are now being removed aud the mines tilled up, so that no danger will be hereafter in curred. The reader will understand that this article was published in the Dispatch April 1. A Senatorial Ruse. A well-known lawyer of this city, says a Washington paper, tells a very unique story at the expense of Schurz, late Secretary of the Interior Depart j incut. It appears that a certain Seua -1 tor was very anxious to secure a clerk ! ship for a worthy young man from liis ! State, and after trying in vain at most ; of the departments, determined to play the following ruse on Schurz. He made ; ; the young mau file an application at the Interior Department. The next 1 day the Senator called on Schurz and ! addressed him as follows : “Mr. Secretary, I understand that a young man named , from my State, has applied for a clerkship in ; your department. I have called to enter ; my protest against giving him a posi tion, as I understand lie has been boast- \ ing about town that he intended to get a place without my aid ; that Civil Ser vice rules would be in liis favor, etc.” i Mr. Schurz promised to look into the matter, and as soon as the Senator left he sent a messenger to hunt up the young man. Upon his arrival Schurz questioned him closely, and Btated that while there were no vacancies, he would make one for any young man who had the independence and moral courage to attempt to get through the world with out the aid of a “machine politician.” The young man was put to work the next clay, and is now one of the most efficient clerks in the Patent Office, not withstanding the fact that he got there through a Senatorial trick on the great reformer. I' POULTRY AXI) PROFIT. Wlial Women Have Done, anil Can I '>"• , Ten years ago a woman who livid in a r I largo New England village, writes a . Western lady, was left a widow with . four children and little less than three hundred dollars in money. Friends, after the fashion that friends have at I such times, advised her to “ put the . children out, and perhaps she could i support herself by sewing or teaching,” but, like the plucky New England woman that she was, she made answer : “My children shall not be separated while I have health and strength to i work for them.” She rented a house with a few acres of land adjoining, invested the greater part of the three hundred dollars in poultry, : feed and fixtures, and went to work. The friends predicted a speedy failure. “ Did she expect to support a family of five on the profits from a few chick ! ens ?” “ Yes, I expect to do just that,” she auswered. “ When I was a girl I al ways managed the poultry on father’s | farm, and as I made it pay then, I see no reason why I cannot make it pay now.” “ You'll see,” said the wise ones. “ It’s our opinion that you have thrown away the little money that you had. Five dollars for a rooster !” and eyes were rolled and heads shook over the “shiftlessness"of the woman who paid ! “ five dollars for a rooster.” Last win ter I met this woman at a poultry show, and she told me of her success. She had educated her children, paid for her little farm, worth SBOO, and had S3OO in the bank. Another woman, whose husband fell from a building and was crippled for j life, took up poultry raising liecause it was the only thing she could do at home ; that was thirteen years ago, and I to-day she owns a fine farm, well stock - i ed, has money in bonds and in the ! bank. A young woman, whose health failed in the close confinement of the school room, went to raising poultry because she was obliged to do something for a liviug, and because the doctors advised mental rest and as much out door exer cise as possible. lu two years her health was firmly re-established, but in the meantime she had found poultry keeping so pleasant and profitable that she refused to teach again. She had been in the business five years, and is now earning a fortune as fast as ever a pair of woman's hands earned one. Last year the writer made a clear profit of almost SI,OOO on a breeding stock of some 200 chickens, ducks and turkeys. Ido not publish this to boast over my success, but to show other women what a woman can do under the most favorable circumstances. The fa vorable circumstances in my case were a splendid stock of breeding fowls, healthy location, a thorough knowledge of my business in all its branches, and J nearness to a first-class market. Of course, some doubting individuals stand ready to declare that it is impos sible to make five dollars profit on each i adult fowl kept; but, if they will stop and consider that I get spriug chickens into the market in the months of April and May, when they sell readily for one dollar each ; that I sell ten and twelve pound capons for thirty cents a pound; that I manage to have eggs to sell in winter, when I can get from thirty to i thirty-five cents a dozen, and that I sell a few trios of exhibition birds every I year, they will see where the big profit ; comes in. Now don’t stop light here and give J up all thoughts of raising chickens just ; because you cannot get such prices in j your locality, but wait until I give you ; a few hints from my experience. I have kept poultry in the West, where eggs sold at the stores for eight cents a dozen in summer, and poultry sold in the fall for seven cents a pound, live weight, but I made it pay. We lived on a line of railroad, 200 miles from a city market, but I soon found out that ail the poultry and eggs from 1 our place went to the city, and I could | not for the life of me see why I could not ship such things just as well as the merchants, so I sent a thirty-dozen package of fresh eggs to a commission house in the city ; they sold readily, and there was a call for more. “These small packages of eggs, every one war ranted fresh, are just what we want,” wrote the commission man. I did some more thinking and then put on my good clothes and went to the city. Once there, it did not take me long to find a ; : grocer who wanted thirty dozen of fresh eggs a week, so I shipped the eggs di- j reef to him, and saved the commission ; merchant’s protits. In the fall I sold : poultry the same way. There was no thoroughbred poultry 1 j in the vicinity except that in my yards, j and when people liegan to find out that j my chickens were superior to the com mon mongrel fowl, they bought a great many eggs for hatching. There was not one pair of any of the improved va rieties of ducks in the county. I sent a thousand miles for a pair of Pekins, and within a month after they arrived everv bo ! y had the duck fever, and I was ; overrun with orders for ducks lieforc a single egg hatched. I also procured some bronze turkeys, and sold every egg that I could spare and every turkey that I raised at good prices. Every woman who goes into poultry raising may not be able to get in these “extras,” but every woman who desires to earn money by ruising poultry, and goes into the business with the deter - ' mination to succeed, will be sure to make it pay, even if she sells every egg and every chicken at market prices. * Hot and Cold.— A lady in Dorches ter, Masß., had much trouble in getting servants to come out and work at her suburban house. One day a dashing specimen from the intelligence office j presented herself and put the lady through a catechism as to gas, set tubs, and the like. “An’ is the hot | and cowld wather carried over yer j house, ma'am ?” “It will be,” said the lady serenly,.“ when you come.” And the true meaning of the answer was not , plain to the girl, until, having taken > j service, she was shown the pails in t which the hot and cold water was to be I taken over the house—by herself. WIT AND WISDOM. i,_ . . (h ] (tv )- <8- |@ r l l (—) ( ~ ) | The man who does The man who does not advertise. advertise. ' Policemen’s wives call their husbands [ “ Clubby.” | An exchange speaks of “ a proud old ’ sheep.” A wether vane probably. I The early bird catches the worm ;so : the early advertiser catches the spring trade. ' A vorNO married man whose house is paid by liis mother-iu-iaw alludes to her [ as liis darling pay-rent. Like lightning rod*, sweet girls should be— Cool, pointed, straight, exacting ; Drawing the sparks—yet not too free. Nor harmed by their attracting. An exchange publishes an article headed “ How to tell a mail dog.” We have nothing to tell a mad dog that we , cannot communicate by telephone or postal card. An ktiierkai. maiden rilled Maud Was suspected of being a fraud ; Scarcely a crumb was she able To eat at the table, But out in the pantry—Oh! Lawd! Thebe came to our cabin one morn ing in spring, a sweet little robin. Ho came to sing, but the cat was attentive, and watched from afar till the robin, all 1 heedless, was killed like a Czar. A captain m a Mexican regiment killed himself so that his first lieuten ant could be promoted, and yet we refer to Mexicans ns “ greasers,” and raise a i row when they steal a few cattle. ! A Stranger in St. Louis, thinking ! lie recognized liis coat on the back of a | pedestrian, shouted, “ Stop thief!” and about thirty of the inhabitants sudden ly disappeared down a side street. A Texas Judge who had two tramps before him said to them: “Now, one of you make tracks for the border anu the other try to catch him.” They caught at the idea and put in their best licks. A French chemist can take sugar, Hour and other substances and make a i nicer egg than any hen ever left in a nest, and now the only excuse for keep j ing fowls is that they may annoy the j people next door. Fkom morning fill night I The boys take delight In trying each other to beat: With •‘dllbs” and ‘‘fen picks," And “eves” and “kicks." They “ knuckle for keeps ”on the street. . Advice to a doll: “ Oh, dear !” cx j claimed Edith to her doll, “ I do wish i you would sit still. I never saw such jan uneasy thing iu all my life. Why I don’t you act like grown folks and bo j still and stnpid for awhile ?’’ The Servants : Materfamilias (find ! ing the new nurse deep in a sensation novel)—“Surely, nurse, you can’t nurse i ‘baby’ and read at the same time!” | Nurse—“Oh, Lor’, yes, ’m. She doesn’t disturb my reading a bit, ’m !” Thev say Blaine is doing the work of six men in liis oilice, and is breaking down under it. He found some of Evarts’ old sentences iu the back room and has been sawing them np into con venient lengths to throw out of the window. Old Gbcmbleton is rapidly becoming ' a confirmed pessimist. The other day i lie remarked, with a sigh, ‘ Every day ! now brings us nearer next winter.’” : He ought to be sent to some land of , perpetual snow where he could not take | time by the forelock. Distressing accident: A man wont ; into a house last night and picked up i a gun. Of course he didn’t know it i was loaded. It went off. So did the ! man. And the man who owns, or, rather, who owned the gun, would give j SSO to know where they went. A Jerseyman, whose wife keeps a boarding house in order to support him, complained because she gave the board ers spring chicken. “ Weil,” she said, i “ that chicken lias laid eggs for ns for years, and I never turn anything out to | die of old age. It is better to kill it and j end its sufferings. “Dear sir, is once a week too often to call on a young lady when you are not engaged to her ?” This is the touching question addressed to the Philadelphia Timm by a young con tributor—and the Timm is compelled to confess that it don’t know. Calling oftener would probably soon lead to an I eugagemeut, and thus solve the riddle. A corPLB of young men went out I fishing the other day, and on returning were going past a farm house and felt i hungry. They yelled to the farmer’s • daughters: “Girls, have you any butter j milk?” The reply was gently wafted i back to their ears: “ Yes, but we keep !it for our own calves.” The boys 1 calculated that they had business away— i and they went. It is said that a man's voice reveals bis character. When, for instance, you ask him for a contribution for the church, and he tells you that ho lias just bought a fast horse and hasn’t a penny to spare, you know by his voice that lie is one of the benevolent citizens of a great republic and that he won’t see himself suffer for anything which either money or credit can purchase. There has lcen a great deal of bad feeling between two Galveston families, lienee there was much surprise when they intermarried. A friend, in speak ing to the father of the bride, asked if the families bad made friends. “ Not a bit of it. I hate every bone in my son in-law's body.” “ Why did yon let him marry your daughter, then?” “To ■ get even with him. I guess you don’t ! know that girl’s mother as well as I ! do.” “What is a oold?” asks Chambers’ Journal. Well, sir, supposing you begin by sneezing so hard you nearly break your neck and bite your tongue terribly. Then your nose gets stuffed up and you need about fourteen hand kerchiefs a day and the end of your nose gets too watery and you begin to cough so the folks across tho way can’t i sleep, and you feel lame all over, as l though you’d been under a fire engine : and you’re ugly and kick the dog and i chase the cat with a bootjack, tell yonr l wife she can’t cook and make the house s hold a gehenna for ten days. Then you’ve got a cold.