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; Ot all kinds done promptly, neatly I and at Lowest Prices at the SPIRIT OFFICE. | Handsome new faces of Latest I Style Type recently added to oar ! already excellent job outfit. IF YOU WANT To get the most for your money ad vertise in the SPIRIT OF JEFFERSON. the paper of the people?the paper of the largest local circulation. CHARLES TOWN, W. VA., TUESDAY, DECEMBER 18, 1900. NEW SERIES, VOL. XXXV, NO. 51 ESTABLISHED 1844 F. L. Bushcng, ATTORNEY AT LAW; Charles Town, Jefferson County, W. Va. /?Vi" rc~u,lar|y attend all tbe Courts of Jef lhE?R.*,?? "J"? '? olhor ,aw iu ?"vo?^"eoMecdtions^i0la' a^Cift' :U,tnU?" <g~Office two doors west of Carter House. Ceo. A. McClone, ATTOKNEV AND C JUNSEIXER AT LAW. Office with Cleon Moore. J. F. Engle, ATTORNEY AT LAW, Obarlestown, Jefferson County, W. Va. T*raetfces In the Courts of Jc:fferson and ad Jo'nlne counties, in the Supreme Court of Meet Virginia; and in the United States Dis trict Comtat Alartldsburg. Notury Public in OlHce. Oflice in Law Building, North George st. 5. D. Gibson, ATTORNEY AT LAW. Charles Town, Jefferson County, West Va. Practice* iu tbe Circuit Courts of West Vir ginia, tbe Supreme Court of Appeals and tbe 5wtr tes District Court ut Martinsburg, O lHee over Aiequitli A: Co.V drag store. A. W. McDonald.1 [Frank Beckwith. frlcDonald & Beckwith, ATTORNEYS AT LAW. Charles Town. Jefferson County, West Va. I>ractice In Courts of JefTerson. i V Berkeley uud Mortmain counties, the U. >. District Court at Martinsburg, and the 'Jourt of Appeals of VVest Virginia. T. C. Green, ATTORNEY AT LAW, Jliarlca town, Jefferson County. West Virginia. WILL practice in the Courts of Jefferson, Berkeley and Morgan counties: also, the Lnited States District Court at Martins tmrg, and the Supreme Court of Appeals of West V irgiuia. Special attention to the rol Cection of claims and prompt remittance of tbe Joseph Trapnell, ATTORNEY AT LAW, Oh&rlestown, Jefferson County, West Virginia. P^CTICES in the Courts of Virginia and \\est \ irijmia. Attention paid to collec ?on of claims. George Baylor, ATTORNEY AT LAW, Charlestown, Jefferson County. W. Va. WILL r???larly attend all the Court? of Jef ? ? fersoii and Berkeley counties, and atterd other law business in tllo State of West Va. ?? Special attention given to collections. Forrest W. Brown, ATTOKXEY AT LAW, Charlestown, Jefferson County. W. Va. WILL attend to eases in the difTtrrentCoKris ^ of West Virginia and Maryland. Atten tion given to Pensions aud alJ classes of Claims agaiust L". 3. Government. Cvj" Special atten tion to Collections. James D. Butt, ATTORNEY AT LAW, AND KEFEUEE IN B ANKKUFTCY Charles Town, Jefferson County. W. Va. Samuel J. C. Moore, ATTORNEY AT LAW, Berryrille. Clarke County, Virginia, A??l> Cleon Moore, ATTORNEY AT LAW, <*iatfesuw,u. Jefferson County, W. Va. \\.r*kL undertake case6 jointly in the Court* T T of both of Said Counties. H. Clay Cetzendanner, Attorney at law, Sbepherdstown, W. Va. Special and prompt attention to Collections. Conveyancing and Settlement of Estates. Oflice 2nd door west Gibsou's dru? store. ! Jas. M. Mason. J as. M. Mason, Jk i Mason & Mason, ATTORNEYS AT LAW, Charles Town. Jefferson Co., West Virginia. \\rn'L l'r;lL'"c<'in the various Courts. Care T T ful attention paid to Collections. Office one door west of Carter House. D . J. L. Luke, DENTIST , OFFICE in Talbott building:, nearly oppo site National Bank, Charles Town, West Va. Gas and Vitalised Air administered for pain less extraction of teeth. Is also prepared to 4et Gold Crowns. James Rfl. Ranson, DOCTOR OF DENTAL SURGERY, OFFERS liis Professional Services to the cit izens of Charles town and vicinity. CaTOUiee opposite Patisli Building, Main is'reet. Cliarlestown, West Virginia. Dr. Wm. Weill, PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON, Cbarlestown, West Va. ? Office?South side of Main Street corner of ?West Dr. C. T. Richardson, PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON, Charles Town. West Virginia. O. B. GOLLADAY, Charles Town's Only WHIT^ BARBER, OP POSITE HOTEL WATSON. Firet-cla? .?ippointmcnts and service. Clean towel with e?.T sliave. Q5.97-y. New Jewelry Repair Store The underpinned has moved into the room of Mr. D. 8. Hughe*, lately occupied by Mr. J,. A. Osbonrn. two doors cast of the post office* where he will conduct the business of REPAIRING WATCHES. CLOCKS AND JEWELRY. Aa experience of 35 years in the business ?euab es me to guarantee satisfaction to all who may favor ine with their patronage. ?Give ine a call. FRANCIS BODNER. Aprii 4. Ihttl. Sing Kee Laundry. ?Browu Building, opposite National Bank. CHARLES TOWN, W. VA. "Our Laundry turns out the very best of <work. Work taken every day and turned oat Uhe secoud or third. Shirts. Collars and Cuffs ?5n gloss or domestic fiuisb, just as you like it. ?Our work is all done by hand.and your clothes will la-t twice as long as when washed by ma chinery, Please give me a call. AH work ^uaraoteed. Yours respectfully. iwil J?dui. ? SING KEE. A XM AS PRESENT. If you an* musical?or if you haven sister desirous of becoming a musician, or better still, if ?on have a wife whwc thought* turn lo tui) ful melodies, what better can vou give her for a Xuias present than one i f the Wbicb will be the means of mukiug home happy, entertaining friends, and giving a senfe of comfort at home of an ideal uud intellectual character. Hear iu mind that all players, whether professional or amateur, pronounce our Pianos unexcvlb-d for vocal quality. Comparison with other instruments is the quickest .way to recognize the superiority of the StfeflF Pianos. Cur'alogue an-J description of Self-Playing Attachment cheerfully given. Second-Hand Pianos of various makes at very low prices; Accommodating terms. CHARLES M.. ST1EFF. Ware rooms?9 N. Liberty St., Factory?Biock of East Lafayette Avenue. Aikeu and Lauvalc streets. BALTIMORE. MI). A. L. Anderson.] [Geo. W. Akdehsos A. L. Anderson & Co.. West ^ir-g-inia. CARRIAGE WORKS, MIDDLEWAT, JEKFEKSON CO., W. VA. ? rpiIE undersigned have been established in jL the Carriage Business on the MiddJeway and ^hepherdstown turnpike, one mile north of riiudleway, for four years past, and during that [ time have been doing a large and constantly in creasing.business in the manufacture of CARRIAGES, JUMP-SKATS. END SPRING & SIDE-BAR BUGGIES JENNY LINDS, PHiETONS, J AGGERS, &C. Our work lias been sold all through: Jefferson and adjoining counties, and has always given satisfaction in every particular. It is our constant aim to work the very best materia!, and to do all work in a first-class man ner, and as to our prices we pledge ourselves to do work as low or lower than first-class work can be done for elsewhere. If parties wish to consult us in regard to work, and do not find it convenient to visit onr fac tory, we will, if notified by postal card, send a representative of the firm to visit them at their homes, and give ail necessary information. Second-hand vehicles and good Horse* taXen in exchange for work. We keep constantly a large variety of New Vehicles in stock, aud have also Sccond-Hanu Carriages, Buggies, ttec., which we sell very low. A. L. ANDERSON ifc CO. CHARLES TOW Pi Marble &. Granite Works, Cor. George and North Struct*. D1EHL & BRO., Munufacturcrb of MONUMENTS, TOMBS. STATUES Slate aud Marble MANTELS, Tiling, and all kinds of Building Marble and Sandstones. AH orders promptly filled at the lowest rates. All work guaranteed. Tnoa. K. MOOKE. CI.FOX H. MOOllE. ! MOORE&MOORE Insurance & Real Estate AGENTS, CHARLES TOWN, W, VA. Ofllce in the Maxwell Building, next door to llou, W. II. Travers. Representing the following Fire Insurance Companies -? NORTH BRITISH AND MERCANTILE of Englaud. CALEDO SIAN, of Scotland. LANCASHIRE, of England. ** PHILADELPHIA UNDERWRITERS, JfANOVER. of New York. GREEN Wit JII. of New York. UNITED STATES, of New York. PROVIDENCE WASHINGTON, R. I. MARYLAND CASUALTY CO. We al?o represent the PENN MUTUAL LIFE INSUR ANCE COMPANY, of Philadelphia, one of the oldest purely mu tual life Ipsuruuce coinpauiee doing business iu the United States. All policies absolutely lucoutcstible from date of issue. Loan, Cash, paid up or exteuded insurance after three years. Dividends annually. All business entrusted to our care will re ceive prompt uttcutiou. Respectfully, Feb. 21. IK). MOORE ?fc MOORE. NEW RESTAURANT, Miller Room, East Liberty Street, Charles Town. W. \ a. Having rented the room of Mr. Ilenry Mil ler's. ou East Liberty street, I have opened a FIRST-CLASS RESTAURANT therein, where I will endeavor to keep on hand, at all times, Everything in Season. Hoping to receive a liberal share of the pub tic patronage. 1 am Most respectfully. Sept. 25. WM. TUCKER. P. D. Davis. J. A* Emmert. DAVIS & EMMERT, House & Sign Painters, CHARLES TOWN, W. VA, Paper Hauging and Graining a specialty. Prices moderate, work executed promptly aud satisfaction guaranteed. A pail 7. ly.Ki. First-Class Restaurant Xicely Fittt-d up for All Seasons, JAMES W. THOMAS is prepared to serve all Eatables in season at his Washington Street Restaurant, four doora west of the Hotel Watson, at all hours, and iuvitcs his friends and the public at large to call and give him a trial. Everything'put. up iu the most approved style, and every effort : made to please the most fastidious, be his i appetite ever so dainty. ! Oysters iu every style a specialty, and orders ; for Dressed Poultry, for family use, given I prompt aud careful attcution Dec. 15, '06. CHARLES RISSLER, Undertaker & Embafmer, CHARLES TOWN, W. VA. Will furnish all kinds of Caskets and Cof fins, and do Embalming according to the latest and most approved modes. Offices iu Maxwell Bnilding,(formerly occu pied hy Hon. W. H. Travers.) where he raav be found at all hours, either day or night. July 11, 1899-y. ^Established 1858. Successor to R. D. Shfigcrt & Bro. R. D. SHUGERT, Manufacturer of and Dealer in Harness, Saddles, Collars LEATHER AND SnOE FINDINGS. Jobber in Sadler's Hardware. WHITS, FLY NET3, FUR AND PLUSH LAP ROBES. HORSE BLANKETS. If villi want Hie Best Harness Oil come anil try the Diamond Black Leather Oil. 1 keep in stock the Pure Nentsloot Oil. I Lave the airency for the Wilbur Seed Meal, for Horses. Cattle. IIoes. Sheep and Poultry. It is m>ml lor boa cholera. Willmr %g Food makes the hsns lav I have tiio cotintv right of the Lightning Harness Hooker. Co mo and it. It is the hest safety attachment out for Harness. 1 pay the Highest Market Cash Prices, all the year, for Beef Hides, Horse Hidis. Calf Skins, Sheep Hkiusand Fur Skins of all kinds. Mail o.ders solicited. Prompt attention to all correspondence. H. 1>. SHUGEKT, Ht'c*. 12. 1S9^. Charles Town. W. Va. Investigate the plans of life Insurance offered by The PENN MUTUAL LIFE INSURANCE COMPANY, of Philadelphia. The Board of Trustees have adopted a reso lution sanctioning the following endorsement to be placed upon all policies where the risk is adjudged to be unqualifiedly first class: "Thispolicy is absolutely in con testib!e from date of issue for any cause except non-payment of premium." It makes the policy a world-wide contract, free Iroin all conditions as to residence, occu pation, travel, habits of life, and as to name, time or place of death. PAID UP, extended, cash and loau values after 3 years. For particulars, addrens, MOORE & MOORE, Agents. March 21. ISittfl. 13 Tin and Stove Work. The undersigned has located in the shop of Mrs. Margaret Dooley, West Main urect, near Holl'e Pump, where he is prepared to exccute all kinds ol Tiu and Stove Work, at short no tice and upon reasonable terms. Roofing and Spouting a Specialty. "" Will also keep on hand or manufacture to or der, all the ordidarv lines of Tinware, such as EBUIT CANS, RUCKETS, PANS, ETC. A liberal share of the public patronage respectfully solicited. B. F. DOOLEY. Sept. 7. 1S07. CHARLES TOWN BOTTLING VtfQRKS. CHARLES SCHULTE, Pioprietor. Corner .WcBt aud Liberty sts., Charles Town. Carbonized Soda of nil Flavors. Seltzer, Vichy. Kissinger and other MINERAL WATERS. LIQUIFIED CARBONIC ACiD GAS. GINOKR ALE A SPECIALTY. Maicli 13 ?y. Hour and Feed Store. The underpinned has removed his Flour and Feed Store to the west room of the Daluarn building:, Main street, diaries Town, where he will offer FLOUR AND FEED FOR SALE, and conduct the USUAL EXCHANGE BUSINESS. Fioir. Feed, ?tc.. rold at rates to suit the times. Will bo pleased to have the culls of all my old customers, und respectfully solicit the (Mtrotiagc of the public in general. April A. a E( >. 11. TURNER. First-Class Barber Shop. IN REAR OF WATSON HOUSE. My shop hns been thoroughly- refitted and painted, aud hus-bceu supplied with a com plete outfit of the LATEST IMPROVED REVOLVING CHAIRS To!let Cases, Wash stand, etc.. and will com pare favorably with the beet anywhere. Ev ejvthlng neat and clean, first-class work guar anteed and polite attention given. Trusting that I s'.alt continue to receive a liberal share of the public putrouagc, I remain most respectfully. James E3. Thompson. July 81. Grocery and Eating House The underpinned has opened a Grocery Store and Eating House in the building lately occupied by Earnshaw Uoolev. on West Washington street. Charles Town, which has been newly painted and nieel> fitted up. Will keep a Fu!l Line of Groceries of all kinds, which will include the freshest und best- varieties iu all lines, to be sold at the lowest market rates. Will also handle it ?rood stock of Tobaeeoes. Cigars, ete. Conuectcd w xtli the Store I propose to keep First-Class Eating House, aud will be prepared to serve. Lunches. Oys ters, Coffee, Pies. e.tc., at all hours aud In the best style", at moderate .prices. Oysters fried aud delivered at residences,aud full eutertaiu meuts supplied to order. Oct. 12?y. TIIOS. J. MYERS. Important Notice For the People of Charles Town And Jefferson County. FROM NOW UNTIL JANUARY 1, 1901, we will offer our great stock of Furniture, Sarpets, Matting, AT GREATLY REDUCED PRICES. Now, listen ; we have in stoolc 14 ROLLS MATTING. which ife can offer at 114c, everybody's price 15c; then we have 13 rolls which we offer at 12j}c, everybody asks 18c. We are- determined to sell these goods, and the sooaer you come the better. Now in OIL CLOTHS, we 'will give you the following widths at the following prices: No 1 goods, no auctiou goods, 1 yd. wide 24c.. 1^ yd. wide 34c., 14 yd. wide 40c., 3 yds. wide 49c. Now these goods are all No. 1 and first-class, and they cannot be duplicated for the price. Some thing else : wc have about 100 remnants of oil cloth in the very best goods and fancy designs, which we are selling at prices way down. They run from 1 yd. to 2 yds. in size. Now what- about RUGS. We have a large line at any price to suit, pretty designs, from 4ac. up. What about CARPETS. It is no use bragging too much. Others will tell you that our 24Jc. per yard Rag Carpet is ihe biggest bargain that has ever come to this town. Then we have a Hue heavy Hemp Carpet wo'vejreduced to 23c. a yd., former price 28c. Fancy designs in Flow ered Carpet very cheap. Stair Carpet 14c. yd., everybody wants 20c. for it; a big line Table Oil cloth, Comforts, Blankets, cliinaware. Glass ware, Bowls and Pitchers very fancy .Tinware, groceries?Everything low. Now what about FURNITURE. From now until after the Holidays we will give you goods at nearly your own price. We must sell them and they will be sold, and if you don't .come you will certainly be the loser. We cannot mention every article and quote the prices, but one thing we will say, pay us a visit and vou will buy the goods. Remember, this is a Special Sale Trusting to be favored with your presence, and thanking you for past favors, we remain, M. I,. WOLFE & CO., Charles Town, W. Va. Store No. 1?O'Bannon Building, 5 Doors East of Postoflice. Store No. 2?Old Postolflce corner, near court-house. P. S.?To good reliable parties we will sell Furniture on easy weekly payments. Dec. 11. DO YOU KNOW That the surest way for a young person to be come self-supporting is to tr?t a thorough knowledge of shorthand and'typewritfcg? if he teams bookkeeping all the better. In se curing this education he must uot overlook i the Important subjects o! writing and spell ing. We make a specialty of t hese essentia) studies, aud for tiie sum of ?50 a person may j attend the day session for n period of ten months. Six months is found sufficient iu some cases, aud iu others only five mouths is necessary, but we do uot wish anyone to be deceived in thinking that these cases are the average, for they are not. You had better count on ten mouths. If you are at work dur | ?ug the day we will give you three months (lti weeks) for only "S10, night sessions. This is a reduced rate aud is just one half the day rate. A beautiful catalogue will be sent you on application, but we prefer to have you come and sue us. A good time to call is after five in the eveulng. WOOD'S COMMERCIAL COLLEGE, 311 East Capital Street, Oct. 31. Washington, D. C. WM. B. REED, Chambersburg Nurseries, CHAJIBERSBURG, PA. WHEN YOU VISIT WASHINGTON ?GO TO? CAMPBELL'S VIENNA DINING AN O LUNCH ROOMS, Nos. S14 and S1U F. St. N. TP., (BETWEEN 8TFI AND OTH STS.,) Washington, D. C. MEALS 15 AND 25 CTS. NO LIQUORS. Nov. 7?ly. Contractors & Builders. FIRST CLASS WORK BY GOOD MECHANICS. If yru intend building or making altera tions, or if your property is in need of repairp, call or send' postal to CHAS. II. GRfM. Contractor aud Builder. Box 239, Charles Towu. W. Va. references.?I. U. CofTman, Win. Kahn Thos. C, Earnshaw (work just finished). Special Attention to allKinds Jobbing May 15. 1SSM. C. HERMANN, Florist, 3S-4I W. South St., FREDERICK, MI). Will supply, on short notice, DECORATION uud BEDDING PLANTS, CUT FLOWERS, and FLORAL DESIGNS. ' Decorations for Weddings, Receptions etc., a specialty. May 24?t. i W. M. Stanley, V. S? Graduate of the Ontario Veterinary College, Toronto, Canada. Allmeuts of domestic animals will receive careful treatment. Prompt attention to all ; calls night or day. Charges reasonable. Res idence. a. D. BnirV. opposite B. O. Depot, i Charles Town, W. Va O.SA.'Oft?y. Painting, Papering, &c? THE undersized is prepared to do all kinds of Paiutiug, Graiuiuir, Paper Hanging, ?fee. Prices moderate aud prompt attention , &ven to all orders. T. M. BAKER. May 2. 'Ho?tf. THE JEFFERSON COOPERAGE COMPANY, CHARLES TOWN. W. VA., MANUFACTURERS OF FLOUR, APPLE AND LIME BARRELS, AND OAK STAVES AND DEALERS IN ALL KINDS OF COOP ERAGE STOCK. Main Oflice and Yard on B;l Line. o A specialty of Fl.OUR AND APPLE DAR 11 KI.S,whicli will be sold at reasonable priceg. Will pay $4 per cord of 128 cubic feet for cood Stave and Heading Timber, delivered at Factory. FIRE WOOD, in any lengths, sold and delivered on short notice. July 13, 18W-y. Carter House, Charles Town, W. Va. A. W. BROWN it CO., Proprietors. Central location. Hack to and from depots. Good Livery attached. The Afton Inn, FRONT ROYAL, VA. McInturpp& Briscoe, Proprietors. First-Class in All Appointments. Electric Lights. Hot and Cold Baths Telephone. Good Livery Accommodations. Reamer's Howard House Howard and Baltimore Sts., BALTIMORE, MD. To My Old Fairons and the Traveling Public : Having had a very liberal share of the pub lic patronage during the pa?*t five years. I felt encouraged to re-lease the Howurd House for a term of years, and have at great expense refurnished und retitted the hotel from top to bottom. Am better prepared than ever to ac commodate the public. My aim will be to give first-class accommodations at $2.00 per day. Country merchants and commercial travellers will find it the most centrally loca ted hotel in the city. Respectfully, Sept. 35, 18'J4. J AS. REAMER, Wm. Ruti.edoe, Charles W. Grimes, Pioprietor. Harry E. Hewitt, Clerks. Hotel Berkeley, Northeast Corner Public Square, MARTINSBURG, W. VA. 'Bus to and from all trains. April 1, m Hart Hotel, No. 217, 210 and 221 N. Market street, WINCHESTER, VA. Rates $1 per Dat. Reduced Rates by the Week. The new management will pay strict atten tion to the comfort of guests. June 1.V9W. S. D. McDONALD, Prop. Everett House, Opposite People's National Bank, MARTINSBURG. W. VA. H. S. LEAGUE, Proprietor. Rates 61 per day. Special rates to week and mouthl>* boarders. Aug. 25. '90. For Sale by MAX THEODORE, Hauler** Cor. SPIRIT OF JEFFERSON. CiiAHLEg Town, Jeffekson Coontt, W. V*. TUESDAY MORNING. DECEMBER li. 1900. Geo. W. Haines, - Editor and Proprietor. SI.50 !? Advance ; 12 ii not Paid in Advance. CLERICAL STORIES. HUMOROUS INCIDENTS NOTED BY AN ENGLISH CLERGYMAN. A Bit ot Irish Repartee Thnt Restor ed Good Humor?The Cause of m General Laoch In n Dublin Cathe dral?An Interrnpted Sermon, "An Irishman of the full blood can not resist an opportunity for repartee, no matter how solemn the occasion or what his surroundings," said an Eng lish clergyman, a visitor lu Washing ton, the other day, when the conversa tion turned on the funny experiences of clergymen and the humor that creeps into iuatters conuected with the church. "I was assisting an old friend of mine, the rector of a church in Ireland, one Sunday, and before the service wo were In the vestry room putting on our robes, with the old sexton, a shriveled up Irishman of the perfect type, as sisting. My friend, who was some what old. was a little testy that morn ing. and somehow the sleeve of his surplice got mixed up. Notwithstand ing the assiduous elTorts of the old sex ton to direct his arm to the right hole the two would uot connect. Finally, losing patlencc. m.v friend said sharp ly: 'Oh, the old boy's In the thing.' "The old sexton brightened up and, looking ovor at inc, wi(h a twinkle In his eye, said as quick as lightning, 'Not yit, your riverinee.' "It restored the good humor of the situation, and the vestment was proper ly adjusted. "The only time I ever heard a congre gation laugh unrestrainedly during the regular services in a cathedral was back in the eighties, .when I was a resident of dear, dirty Dublin. On one (Sunday morning the bishop of Cork preached. lie was a splendid man. an Irishman 1o the backbone nod possess ed of as flue a brogue as ever distin guished a sou of K:in. Ills congrega tion was made up of the very essence of fashion In Dublin, which. In those days, was one of the greatest social centers of the world. Notoriously, peo ple were living beyond their means, far the Income from the landed estates of Ireland had taken a big tumble. Put that made no difference, and good dressing went as a matter of course and was one of the smallest of the ex travagances. The bishop preached on the subject of extravagance and spoke particularly of overdressing. Ilis ser mon was a bitter arraignment of the sin of debt nnd the wickedness of set ting the heart on fashion nnd dress. He attacked the overdressed woman and wound up this particular reference this way: "?Now. supposing every one of ye every one. man nml woman?should stand up in tills c^inreb. take off tlie clothes ye have not paid for, just wa'.k in out with the things on your back ye have paid for?a pretty lookin lot of scarecrows ye'd be.' "There was a pause until the real significance of the suggestion had per colated through the members of his congregation, then some one snickered. Every one was picturing to himself and herself the real scene that would occur should the bishop's Idea bo carried Into effect, while wife looked at liusbaud and members of each family nudged one another. The ludicrous side was irresistible and the laugh was general. "I once attended church nt Whalley. n little village on the borders of Lan cashire and Yorkshire, in England. The church, which had been a part of the old abbey, was built in the year 1000 and Is today one of the most interest ing. sacred edifices in Great Britain. The rector was a Mr, Wlilttnkrr, very old. very stout and very deaf. He had occupied the living for 30 years, and while he generally appeared In church and took some part In the sen-Ices, he was able to afford the luxury of a cu rate and was always glad to secure the services of a friend to preach. On one occasion a gentleman I knew very well was to officiate. It was his custom to limit his sermon to 20 minutes, preach ing ex tempore, and always took out his watch nud his pocket handker chief. placing them beside him before commencing. This he did as usual, and. finding a very convenient little round receptacle, stuffed the handker chief into it. laid the watch on top and fired away. "The congregation was surprised to see the old rector, who wits sitting at the bottom desk of the "three decker" erection, which I suppose still stands right In the center and half way down the aisle?not In the chancel, as In the modern churches?become very uneasy In his seat. lie squirmed around and looked up, though every one knew quite well that he could not hear a word of the sermon. Finally he beck oned to the black gowned old verger, who carried a long wand, and whis pered to him. The verger ascended the pulpit and In turn Interrupted the sermon by a whispered conversation with the preacher, who was seen to suddenly grasp his pocket handker chief and watch, smile and nod. and then proceedrd with His sermon. He had filled tlie receiver of the old rec tor's ear trumpet, which connected with a tube to the lower desk, and the rector had been unable to tell whether iny sermon was going on or not."? Washington, Post. Hope For Him. "Have you ever tried to' reduce yotir flesh?" "Yes. 1'U bet I've spent $300 for anti fat medicine: but it's no good. I've tried everything and I just keep get ting fatter. I'll give it up now and go on and weigh a ton if I have to." "Oh, don't get discouraged. Come over and try onr boarding house for a month or so."?Indianapolis Jonrnal. Usually, when you pass two women, you can hear one ask. "Did you make It wit'1'""* ? " V?-A b*UI(uin Globe. Leo. Wheat and the Lost Chord. Prof. Leo Wheat of Berryville, Va? the composer, has written the Washinton Post of an interesting incident in the life of the late Sir Arthur Sullivan, the com poser of the "Lost Chord." Prof. Wheat says: Apropos of the article in the Post anent the ' Lost Chord,' c mposed by my clossinate. Sir Arthur Sullivan, kind ly permit me to lay through your gene rous columns and instrumentality this laurel leaf upon his grave. When Arthur Sullivan visited me in 1S81, in my home in Virginia, I asked him what had in spired the 'Lost Chord.' his immortal and best song, as I knew it could not have been born without inspiration, and a sad one at that. I quote his reply verbatim: ' Leo. you know I had for years longed to put Adelaide Proctor's exquisite lines. ?The Lost Chord,' to music, but the in spiration never came until my brother, Fred, lay dying, while X held his hand, and listened to his fast ebbing breath, when God mercifully sent that longsought song into my heart, which I then and there noted down carefully, and as you said, it is. by all odds, my best and dear est song.* "He then played it on my orchestra or gan, as I did by way of requiem last Sunday in evening service, and 1 only pray God that he and I. and you all. may hear that grand amen in heaven. Peace to his ashes! " To Learn a Person's Age. One day there came to the court of a king a gray-haired professor, who amused the kiug greatly. He told the monarch a number of things he never knew before, and the king was delighted. But finally it came to a point where the ruler wanted to know the age of the professor; so he thought of a mathematical problem. "Ahem !" said tile king, "I have an in teresting sum for you; it is a trial in mental arithmetic. Think of the month of your birth." Now, the professor was sixty years old and had been born two days before Christmas, so he thought of 12, December being the twelfth month. " Yes," said the professor. " Multiply it by two," continued the king. " Yes." " Add five." "Yes. "answered the professor, doing so. " Now multiply by 50. " Yes." " Add your age." " Yes." . I " Substract 3O5." "Yes." " Add. 115." "Yes." " And now," said the king, " might L ask what the result is? "Twelve hundred and sixty," replied the professor, wonderingly. " Thank you." was the king's response. " So you were born in December, sixty years a^o, eh ?" " Why, how in the world do yo know?" cried the professor. "Why," retorted the king, "frowyour answer?1260. The month of your birth was the twelfth, and the last two figures give your age." " Ha, ha, ha !" laughed the professor. " Capital idea. I'll try it on the next person. It's a polite way of finding out people,s ages." . Went All the TVuf. It Is said tliat the reason why there are no snakes In New Zealand Is tliat It In at the direct antipodes of Ireland, nnil tliat when St. Patrick banished the snakes from Ireland his blessing went right through the earth and banished the snakes from New Zealand also. Protected In Red. In Santiago In the better class of houses the bedsteads are surrounded with a close kind of netting, beginning at the floor and gathered at the top. This is Intended as a protection against tarantulas, the bites of which are poi sonous. The Chinese study phrenology. Judg ing a man by the development of his forehead and a woman by the form and size of the back of her cranium. A Wife Says: " We have four children. With the first three I suffered almost unbearable pain* from 12 to 14 hour*, and had to be placed under the influence of chloroform. I used three bottle* of Mother's Friend before our last child came, which is a strong, fat and healthy boy, doing my housework up to within two hours of birth, and suf fer td but a few hard ' pains. This lint- , men t is the grand- / est remedy ever' Mother's Friend will do for every woman what it did for the Minnesota tno* her who writes the above let ter, Not to. use It during pregnancy h * mistake to be paid for in pain and suffering. Mother's Friend equips the patient with a strong body and dear intellect, which in turn are imparted to the child. It relaxes ?he muscles and allowi them to expand. It relieves morning sirlmr? and nervousness, i ft puts all the organs concerned in perfect ' condition for the final hour,so that the actual labor is short and practically patnlrm. Dan ger of rising or hard breasts is altogether avoided, and recovery is merely a matter oi a few day*. Dru^ist* aell Mother'* Fri*o4 for SI a bottle. The Bradfleld Regulator Co., Atlanta, Ga. Scad (or oar tree illustrated book. OIN THE ROAD All the time, eating irregularly, sleeping irregularly, exposed to every disease latent in bad cooking or poor food; that's a summary of the traveling man's life. The result 19 "stomach trouble"; that gen eral term which covers various forms and stages of dis ease of the organs of di gestion and nutrition. The traveling man can't avoid the troubles which spring from his business oblipitions. But he can avoid "stomach trouble." If Dr. Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery is used when the early symptoms of de rangement of the stomach manifest themselves,the cure will be quick and radical. But even if the disease has become chronic the "Discovery" will cure ninety - eight times out of every hun dred if tried fairly and faithfully, Mr. Ned Nelson. the eel- ^ ebrated Irish comedian M and mimic, of 577 Rovden St.. Camden, N. j.. writes: "We fulfilled an encasement of twelve weeks and the con. BtAnt traveling give me a Iwid touch of that dreaded disease called dyapepaia. I had I i Erofcssional friend 01 mine advised me to ?y Dr. Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery. I tried it, aud, thank God, with good resulta." Free 1 I)r. Pierce's Common Sense Medical Adviser, 1008 pages, 700 il lustrations, is sent free on receipt of stamps, to cover expense of mailing only. Send 21 one-cent stamps for the book in paper covens, or 31 stamp* for tile same book cloth-bound. Ad dress Dr. R. V. Pierce, Buffalo, N. Y. The Shriver Grays Camp of Confed erate Veterans is preparing for the erec tion of a monument in wheeling com memorative of ? the valor of those who fought tor the Lost Cause. The Camp has a considerable fund on hand for the purpose and contemplates a monnment to cost about $10,000. Abrnhnm'a History. A schoolboy nt n prize examination furnished the following biography of the patriarch Abraham: "lie wan the father of I-ot and had two wives. One was called iRhmale and the other Ha gar. lie kept one nt home, and he turned the other Into the desert, where she became a pillar of salt In the day time nnd a pillar of Ore by night."? Woman's Journal. OA.8TOHI A.. Bun the Tba Kiatl You Haw Umjt Bwtft A Historic Cliureh. 1 The first church nt Posen. on th* eastern bo? 'er of Prussia, was built by Frederick the Great. For centuries It has done duty as a place of worship, and yet hail It not been for a war horse It w< ild never hnve been built. Close by a >lootly conflict occurred be tween the .ring and the Russlnns, and the former, always In the thick of th? fight, had his chnrger killed under! Mm?n sturdy anlinal that- had born#' him throughout many battles. He felt the Joy of victory to be modified bjl the loss of the horse nnd put up te lt? memory the famous church In quee-j tlon. , j Arrest disease by the timely use of Tutt's Liver Pills, an old and favorite remedy of increasing popularity. Always cures SICK HEADACHE, sour stomach, malaria, indiges tion, torpid liver, constipation and all bilious diseases. TUTT'S Liver PILLS Important to Mothers. The manufacturers of Castoriu have been compelled to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars to familiarize the public with the signature ot Chan. H. Fletcher. This has been necessitated by reason of pir&tes counterfeiting tho Cas toria trade-mark. This counterfeiting is a crime not only against the proprietors of Castoria. but against the growing gen eration. All persons should be careful to see that Castoria bears tne signature of Chas. H. Fletcher, if they would guard the health of their children. Parents, and mothers in particular, ought to care fully examine the Castoria advertire. mems which have been appearing in this paper, and to remember that the wrapper of every bottle of genuine Castoria bears the lac-simile signature of Chas. H. Fletcher, under whose supervision it has been manufactured continuously for over thirty years.?Phila. Bulletin. Free Blood and Skin Cure. ATI OTTBB PBOVIKO FAITIU Ulccn, Eatin? Sore*. Cancer. Scrofula, Itching Skin. 8cm!* and Seal** of Eczema. Acbes nil Pains In Uiues, L*ck or joints, Syphilitic Bloud Poison, Batten Unma ana Chronic Rheumatism, aad all obstinate, deep-seated Blcod troubles, are quickly cured hy taking a few large bottles of Botanic Blood Bal in. w ? challenge the world for a ease of Blood Disewe that Botanle Blood Balm will not cure. The cares are prrfaaeent and not ? pa-cbing op. Is roar Blood Tbln ? Bkla Pale? All Run Down ? As Tired In tbe morn ing iu wben yon west to bed? Pimples? Bolls? Swollen Glands or Joints? Catarrh? Putrid Breath? Eruptions? Sores in Month or Throat? If so. jour Blood la Bad. Blood Balm will make tbe Blood Pnre and Rich, Heal every Sore, Stops the Aches and Pains, Build np the broken down body, aud Invigorate the old and weak. Botanic Blood Balm, tbe only jser sect Blood Purifier made. Sold at drnj stores. tl.00 per large bottle, Including coaivhrte di rections To prove our faith In Blor-i Balm 9k trial bottle given awav to sofiwers. /or frew trial bottle, address Blood &tka Co , ? -f-r'n. 6a. Don't best tat e, tint write at o ce'describ inc trouble, and free personal medical advice Eiven. Blood Halm V re. wben all else fails, Tnornnghly tcsw-.I for 80 year.. Jr>fi-ly WANTED?ACTIVE MAN OF GOOD CHAR acter to deliver and collect In West Virginia lor old establisl ed manufacturing wholesale house. tJOC a year, sure pay. Bontsty more than experience required. Our reference, say bank in any eity. Enclose self-addsiissfc | stamped envelope- Manufacturers, Tninl Floor, SM Dtarbera St? CtiCKt.