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The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, February 25, 1885, Image 1

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POINT PLEASANT, MASON COUNTY, WEST. VIRGINIA, WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 25.1885.
VOL, XXIII.
NO. M
VHYUOXAHB.
A. It. BABBEE, n. D..
(Northwest Cor. 6th and iUin 8Ut)
POINT PLEASANT, WK8TVA.
Office hoars from 0 a. to. to 3 p. m. and
B'to 10 p.m. [m*y8,-18ff.
vn p7neale, m. d.
Office at rtsiiitnoe.on Miln 8treet, Jut
above-the Conrt House. Will attend
promptly to all arils, -whether ilay or
night When not professionally oii
Kagecl. can always be found at hla ok
ftST [Jan. 3,1888..
T\K. H.O. SHAW,
PITtSlCIAN AND HVRQEON,
Tendera hli professional tervlcea to the
public. Calls promptly atlunded to. Of
fice, cor. Main and Tnlid Street*, oppo
site the old Presbyterian Church.
tpW82. "
TJR. L. P. CAMPBELL,
PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON,
Tenders hit professional services to tlio
?is of Point Pleasant and vicinity.?
afir~ -
DB. T. 8. BBOWK,
.DENTIST,
(Shepard's Block, 2d St.,)
GALLIPOLIS, 0.,
PERSONS living out ol the city can
make engagements by mall.
July4-ly.
d. w. PETTY,
Dentist,
Point Pleasant
ALL WORK WARRANTED
PEICBS LOW.
Comer 6th and Main, opposite C. II.
dec, 10-Wy g
Professiona Card.
To It 'hum it Coneenu; All parties, irre
spective of race, color, previous or pres
ent condition, who aro Indebted, wheth
er by note, account or otherwise, to tlio
undersigned, or to the lata Arms ot Drs.
Barbee A Neule, Drs. Barbce & McCtiue,
Drs. Ilarbee A Fravel, anil Drs. Barbee
& Stone, are once mors respectfully anil
earnestly called upon to come forward
on or before the first day of June, 1884,
and pay amounts respectively due me,
ax it is now positively my Intention to
clow up my long outstanding business.
Stern necewty, pecuniary pressure and
embarrassment im/M-U me thus to call
111 ion old friends whom it has been my
free off-hand will and pleasure- to serve
in the past, and to wliom my profess
ional services are now as freely tender
ed, and my readiness ever to serve them
in the future as In the past, just at this
"accepted time" to givo evidence of
proper appreciation of past favors anil
services rendered, by all coming forward
ami paying me by tlie time above pre
scribed. Sineerelv,
ANDREW I!. BARBEE, M. D.,
Point Pleasant, W. Va., April 23.
attorneys.
JOHN W. ENGLISH,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
Point Pleasant, W. Va.,
WILL practice in the County of Ma
son; the Unites! Slates District Court
for West Virginia, and in the Supreme
Court of Appeals of this Stato. Ofliro In
Court House. [jan 3,1883.
W. It. GUNS,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
Point Pleasant, W. Va.,
WILL practice In the Courts of Mason
County, the Supreme Court of Ap
peals of West Virginia, and the United
States District Court for this State.?
Prompt attention given to the collection
of claims. Office opposite Court Home.
[jan 3,1883.*
W. H. Touunsos. R.vnlis Wilhy, Jr
TOMLXNSON & WI1BY,
Attorneys at Law,
POINT PLEASANT, W. VA.,
~\\TILL practice in the Conuty of Ms
VV son; the United States District
Court for West Virginia, and in the Sup
reme Court of Appeals. Prompt atten
tion given to the collection of claims en
trusted to them. [email protected] Real Estate
Agents. Lands bought and sold.
Address, Point Pleasant, W. Va.
?pr20-ly.
JOHN E. TIMMS,
AUornty nl I/itc, Notary PuUie,
Point Pleasant, W. Va.,
\T? ILL practico in the Counties of Ma
VV sou and Putnam, and will attend
promptly to all business entrusted to him
janS, '83.
JAS. H. COUCH, JR,
AUornty at law and Notary Public,
Point Pleasant, \V. Va.,
WILL practice in tho counties of Ma
Bon and Putnam. All business will
receivo prompt attention, [janll, 1883.
JOHN U. MYERS,
Attorney al Lair.
WILL practice In the Courts of Ma
son county. West Virginia, and
in Meigs county, Ohio. Address al Ma
son City, West Virginia, or l'omeroy,
Ohio. may7-'M
CHAS. W. PHELPS,
Attorney at Late ami Notary Public,
POINT PLEASANT, West Virginia.
Office opposite Court House.
maylMy
PACKET
TAKE
Hew ifirl Allies.
Ev ry WEDNESDAY,
at 5 p. m.
FOB CINCINNATI
and
Evry SUNDAY,
at 2 a. m.
FOR WHEELING
?AXI>?
PITTSBURGH.
nee.S-1882-tl.
TIE OLD REHIRE.
TOCK'S
Tonsorlal Parlor,
Pojkt Plkaiaht, W. Va
DEF YING COMPETITK
!!
Cutting the Very Bottqm Out of Prices and
Slashing the Very Lire Out of Values!!!
THERE IS NO DULL TRADE WHERE LOW PRICES RULE.
ARE LEADERS IN" LOW PRICES. Thoy know not the words, "Dull Trade." While many
Merchants in oar lines of business arc complaining bitterly about their wonderfully quiet trade,
wo can truthfully say that we are busy. Why? Because wo have earned tho confidence of the peo
ple, by our honest, square dealings, truthful arguments and polite attentions. We hare opened tho
eyes of the people, to how they Were being imposed upon by some of our unprincipled so-called mer
ants, and will continue to do so in spite of the chagrin of our self-styled Boss Merchants. Beware!
Tako care! Tho town is flooded With old and shop worn goods, which arc now oflered by certain un
principled dealers, at, what they call, low prices. But we trust yon are aware of the fact that shop
worn goods, ou which tho dust of years has accumulated, is equivalent to the average Point Pleasant
street airt! and as such, of course, is too dear at any price.
Self-interest will tell you to shun these
places, and come to a place where none others but fresl
Do you know why JORDAN don't ofter any OLD GOODS?
- , 7?
laces, and conie to a place where none others but fresli and seasonable
_ *? | Simply be
nevor carries any goods from one season to another, and this is the
so-called "dust" and "dirt'-' ]
goods arc ottered for sale.
cause ho hasn't any. JORDi
secret of his success.
MR. IIENRY WOLFF, late with Mnorbrink, Cincinnati, is the CUTTER and has charge of our
CUSTOM TAILORING DEPARTMENT. Wo take pride and pleasure in inviting you to como and
inspect the linest display of Merchant Tailoring Goods cvor shown in this part of tho country. Our
assortment embraces every now pattern and fabric. We shall make to measure and guarantee entire
satisfaction and lit, elegant suits, overcoats and pants, at the lowest possible prices.
GIVE US A TRIAL ORDER.
GUIS JORDAN, Manager of
NEW YORK CLOTHING HOUSE, Point Pleasant, W. Va.
The Horses of the Great Desert.
The Arabs of Sahara are very
particular as to the color of their
hornea. White is the color for
princes, but does not stand heat.
The black biings good fortune, but
fears rocky grouud. The chestnut
is the most attractive. If one tells
you that he has seen a horse fly in
the air, ask what color it was; if
ho says "chestnut," bclievo him.
(n a combat against a chestnut
you must have a chestnut. The
bay is the hardiest and most sober.
If one tells you a horse has leaped
to the bottom of a prccipice with
out burling himself1, ask of what
color ho was, and if he replies
"bay," believe him. Bon Dyab, a
renowned chief of the desert, hap
pening one day to bo pursued by
Saad el-Zenaty, turned to his sou
and ar<ked:
"What horses are in the front of
the enemy?"
"White horsos," replied the son.
"It is well; let ui make for the
sunny aide and they will melt
away like butler."
#ome time afterward Ben Dyab
again turned to bis son and said:
"What horses are in the front of
the enom)?"
"Black horses," cried his son.
"It is well; let us make for stony
ground and we shall have nothing
to fear. They are the negroes of
Soudan who cannot walk with
bare feet upon the flints."
lie changed his course and the
black horses were speedily distan
ced. A third time Ben Dyab
asked:
"And now what horses are in
front of the enemy?"
"Dark chestnuts and dark bays."
"In that caso," said Ben Dyab,
"strike out, my children, strike
out, and give your horses the hoel,
for these might perchance over
take us had wo not given barely to
ours all tho summer through."
The Child.
It should never be forgotten that
the child somo day will be a free
agent. If his wholo life now is
strapped down and checkod of], and
labeled with "orders" and warnings
and "take notice" and throats of
penalties, be may obey from fear
and by force, but his will and his
power of self-control are weakoned.
Such a character is usually most
helpless before temptations in af
ter-life. Wo are too apt to over
look tbo fact that it is not the
present urgency that isof most im
portance, after all; it is tho build
ing up of character that is to be
tho long, lasting result of today's
battle, not the mero striking of the
flag and surrender of the sword.
In a cemetery in Franco, one
reads: "Here lies Gabriclle, my
adored' wife. She was an angel.
Never shall I bo consoled forhor
loss." On tho same stone: "Here
lies Henrietta, my second wife.
She was also an angel."
A Trauip "fflio Xistook a Hash
lloase for a Bantiuct Hall.
He had been living on crusts
and apple cores and the remains of
free lunches for weokB, anil the
, best bed he could scare up was a
j box half-full of musty straw. He
wus begging nickels of pedestrians
yesterday when a geniloman took
him into a restaurant and said to
1 the proprietor:
! "Here, give this man some sort
of a uieul. I supposo ho will bo
glad to fill up on most anything "
When the waiter approached to
take his order ihe tramp said:
"Now, then, make me a nice
piefco of toast, browned evenly on
both sides, aud bring it hero with
a quail on it. I want my beef
steak rare-rare, mind you, and if
you have any genuine Mocha coffee
in the place you make mo a cup."
The waiter went nff and brought
in a glass of milk and some corn
beef aud bread, and the man shor
ed back and left the place with
tho remark:
"1 had an idea when I came in
here that there wasn't any lone
abou t this place. Some folks don't
seem to know the dillerouce be
tween a hash houso and a banquet
hall."
When the averago t American
won't kick there is something
about him that ought to be inves
tigated.
KIo Grande Politics.
On election day a gentleman at
Laredo, on tho Rio Grande, ob
served a largo number of Mexicans
in the town.
"Where do all these Moxicans
come from?" asked the stranger.
'-From the other side of the riv
er," replied a candidate.
"What are they going to do over
hore?" _
"Oh, they are going to bo voted."
"What for?"
"For a dollar apiece."
"Why, that's outrageousl"
"Yes, it is too high, but what
can wo do about it? Our oppo
nents, the reformers, have run up
the prices on us. Before the reform
party was organiied we could get
all the Mexican votes wo needed,
delivered at the polls, for fifty cents
a head, but now tho lowest price iB
a dollar a head, spot cash. I tell
you, it takes money to be elected
to office on tho Rio Grande."?Tti
o< Sifting*
He Could Tell by the Smell.
A fastidious Austin dudo had
hit hair ourled twice a woek. The
tonsorial artist is not vdry particu
lar, so tho youug man said:
"I wish you would be a little
particular with thoso curling irons.
You should try them on a piece of
papor first, and see if they are not
loo hot."
"I don't need to do that. I can
altvayi tell by tfie moll of tho
burnt hair when tho irons are too
hoi."
Why Mountain Air is Healthful.
One of the best qualities of moun
tain air, that which mnkes it so
delightful to the weary denizens of
plains, is its freshness, and the
higher they go the fresher they
find it. Swiss savants have ascer
tained by observations made at
sundry Alpine t-tations, that for
every 143 metres of altitude the
the summer temperature of their
mountains diminishes one degree
centigrade.
Tho two great advantages of a
mountain climate are the freshness
of tho air and the intensity of the
sun's action. The second of these
influences, as touching the human
organism, is noless important than
the first, for the solar radiatiou
penetrates our clothing, comes in
contaot with the skin, and acts on
thn blood. A few weeks' stay at a
height of 3,000 4,000 feet above sea
level brings back color to the pallid
face and dyes the cheeks a healthy
brown.
Another peculiarity of mountain
air is the relatively little moisture
which it contains. As we go high
er the humidity diminishes in a
ratio more rapid than the pressure
of the atmosphere. When we
reach an altitude of 6,500 feet we
have below us one-half of the total
amount of vapor our atmosphere is
estimated to contain. The hy
grometric condition of the air at
theso heights is subject to rapid
changos. A fug, with its cold and
damp, will often be dispersed in a
few minutes.by a whiff of warjn
air. Local causes may however,
render some mountains moistor
than uthers. For instance, the
monks of the Great St. Bernard do
not complain of the cold?that they
can koep at bay?yet they sufler so
much from rheumatism caussd by
tho clouds that roll almost con
stantly round the Hospice, that
after a few years' service they are
compelled to go down to the Mar
tigny to recruit their health. But
Mont Jou, from its position, is
much expossed to the action of the
south wind, which comes charged
with moisture from tho north Ital
in plains. Health must he sought
at a lower altitude than 8,000 feet.
?London Times.
A Daughter's Devotion.
"No, George, our engagement
must be broken. Father has failed,
you know."
"When did your father fail? I
hadn't heard of it?" he said turning
pale.
"He failed yesterday, and is vory
muoh prostrated in consequenoe.
My whole timo must bo givon to
bim now. He needs my undivided
care and attention, and though it
may break our hearts, George, we
must part forever."
"Noble girl," thought G.edrge, as
ho hastily grasped his hat; and with
his broken heart wont out iuto
the night.
flittin,? mway. " -
round of triflel
li busy day;
looka and contra,
> hotrno look fair.
)? taking upon me
a of a wnman'n care.
hfldlih aorrowi,
iln# the childlih heart
pie song and tfory,
I mother's art;
#ar hone table,
>K the meal away,
i little errand#
iljlit uf the day.
pjjj|^y %
And oft, wheq I am ready to murmur
Tb?t llfe'is flitting away,
With the self-iiame round of duties
Billing each bu#y day,
It couies to my spirit sweetly
With the grace of a thought divine;
"Yon are living, toiling for love's sake,
And the loving should novar repine."
y
LOVE AND DUTY.
It was a wild and rocky coast
along which ran the path that led
to the home of old Martin the Frere.
At ordinary times the cottage
would have possessed but little at
tracted for a bold, stirring youth
like Owen Glenn. But a visitor
had of late brightened up its pre
cincts?a young girl named Annis,
named after the aged grandmother
who dozed by the hearth through
the long evening?, content to wateb
the bright flames as they shot up
from the broad fireplace, and per
baps to see visitius of the past with
her dim eyes.
Dame Prere was a sharp-voiced,
bustling woman, long past middle
age, and not having the name of
possessing a very sweet temper,
but she had a soft place in her
heart for granny, and it was to
pleaso her that she had invited her
pretty name-child to come and
vifit them a few months.
Annis was a tall, flight girl, as
straight as a pine troe and graceful
asafawn. Her yellow hair hung in
perfect''mane of shining curls all
about, per shoulder* and far down
below her waist.
. Imagine a sweat, innocent face,
lighted with great lustrous dark
eyes, and a red diouth almost al
ways curving into smiles, and you
have some idea of Annis.
Most of Ihe young girls in Ihe vi
cinity were buxom, merry lasses,
with hair and eyes to match?both
of intense blackness?and with
more or leas of the hoyden in them.
Their laughter was loud and hearty,
and thoir ways more frolicsome
than refined. So it isnotstrange
that when this graceful, quiet
stranger came among them, wilh
her shy ways and blonde coloring,
her swift changes of expression and
nativo ease of manner, she was at
once taken into the heart* of all the
young peoplo in the neighborhood.
It is a great mistake to think
that one girl is sonBiblo to another
roniden's beauty. Sometimes, to
be sure, she may have a feeling of
jealousy with regard to it when
she is naturally of that disposition,
but oftener she loves the object of
her admiration all the more be
cause she embodies that ideal which
exists in every human soul to a
greater or less degree.
Owen Glenn had fallen head over
heels in love at his first meeting
with Annis, and bad not missed an
opportunity of meeting her at the
various rustic gatherings to which
ho had been invited, and to-night
he was going to teste his fate by
telling Annis that he loved her,
and ask if ho could hope for a re
sponse to the ardent feeling with
which he had boen inspired by her.
Owon was not at all certain as to
the success of hie suit, for there was
another who ndmired Annis, and
who was far above him in worldly
station and weulth, and as Owen,
in his freedom from vanity, also
thought, in good looks and in other
qualities calculated to win a girl's
heart.
Annis had rocoived the pleasant
little courtesies and attentions of
both In a way calculated to wound
neither, though, as to that, it would
have been an impossibility for her
to be other than so sweet and gra
cious as not to enkindle hope in
each passionate young heart.
Thus matters stand as Owen
started from hia home to take tbo
long and todious walk over cliffy,
wbioh must be traversed before he
could reach the cottage which shel
tered the objeot of his love.
It had been raining steadily all
day long, and as night came on the
wind had risen to a gale.
But wrapped in hie waterproof
cloak and lighted'on hir way by a
lautoru, O.i en cured uot for the
musv ue iii iiea, ana oreaioisg ft
prayer for the_ wave toesed mari
ner* far from home.
Suddenly a dull, booming sound
reached bia ear.
It came from a seaward di
but at first he kept 011 hi
thinking: m.i'j. '
"This ii not the harbor, and
every one who hai the Mighteet
knowledge of the locality will be
?urc to avoid sb'oh* a dangerous
coa*t; so it's no business of mine."
Again the sound come, This
time Owen stopped and listened.
rectly against his' inclinations to
give heed to it that with an impa
tient "Pshaw!" he. started on.
But he could not rid himself of it.
It wasthis: "If a ship is' in peril
and has lost her way the only thing
that could save her would be a
huge beacon lire to cast a light upon
heniurroundings."
To build a fire wonld be a work
of time and of hard labor.
To keep one up long enough to
do any good would take hours of
watchfulness, and he would have
to abandon all hope of seeing An
nis that evening.
It was a hard struggle, but in
clination proved to be made of a
material which could not hold its
own against his strong senso of
duty.
He gavo up all thought of the
pleasant greeting he bad been liv
ing opon in his heart all day long,
and set himself to work to gather
fuel for tho beacon fire.
After several hurried journeys to
the woodland, which lay a little
distanco away, ho succeeded in ac
cumulating a pile of branches and
dry twigs, which he had raked put
with bis hands from a deserted hut
which stood nn the confines of the
ticket, and had evidently been
gathered together fqr some pnrposo;
but under the circumstances Owen
felt himself justified in taking it,
as it would havo been almost im
possible to have kindled a flame of
green wood.
Just as he succeedodln coax
ling a splendid blaze into life, a
voice cried:
"Hallo! Glen, is that you?
What in tho namo of wonder are
you doing?"
"I'm answering to a signal of
distress, flarkl" as a dull sound
came again from the sea.
"Well, old fellow, I wish you joy
of your post, and hope it'll do the
good you expect. For my part I'm
off for Martin's. I hear little An
nis is going away to-morrow, and 1
don't waut to miss a sight of her
beuining face to-night. It's bright
andsweot enough to bo a mau's
beacon light for al his life. Good
bye, and good fortune attend your
work. It's lucky all are not such
selfi*h fellows as I am."
It was as if a thousand fiends
wore tugging for the mastery of
Owen Glenn's heart as he listened
to the rattling talk of tho gay,
light-hearted youth.
Should hegivo Robert this chance
of seeing Annis, and of perhaps
asking her to be his wife, during
this very night while he stood and
worked to do good, and in God's
providence tried to be tho means of
saving the lives of people who
were nothing to him?
Thus his thoughts ran over and
over again, repeating themselves
like the voices of mocking domonB,
while outwardly he labored on as
unremittingly as thougb.no influ
ences of tho kind were at work,
piling on fresh fuel fur the flames,
or pushing some burning log into a
bettor position, and in that way be
won the victorv.
Peaee succecded to the wlldstorra
of agitation which had momenta
rily threatened to engulf him.
Thus the night wore through.
With the morning camo a great
calm. Ono would not have thought
that tho sun-flockpd wavos which
came leaping in, white-crested and
tumultuous, to meet the stern har
rier of rooks, and craw! up, up al
most to their summits, could be
augbt but playful in thoir force.?
Ah! it is a treacherous beauty?
tbat of the sea.
Too tired to notice the beauty of
the transition from storm to sun
shine, Owen walked slowly home.
His t?ork was done and he must
rest.
Lit# in tb? day he started out for
a wallc. Ho waj in that miserable
state of mind which oftentimes fol
lows sume great exaltation of spirit.
The thought that Annii bad gone
away without hit seeing her again
weighed upon hisudindfikoan un
welcome Incubus.
At the voice of Iiobort Hunter,
rkP8wl
that;, whal I regret abouin. 1m
afraid I m dished id a certain di
"What do yon mean?" ailed
Owen, withtudden interest.
"Why, if you believe it, I might
just ai well have left my vixit un
paid last night;, indeed, had far
better have done ?o. Annie was so
being a ship outride in distress
that it waa ail 1 could do to prevail
upon her not to /ace the storm and
'come and help,' as the raid; and
she gave me some pretty hard rube,
I can tell you, about my loaving
you ulone to do 'the good work,' as
the called it. I don't believe that
Utile Annis will look at me Again
without a thought in her mind of
what I ought to hafe done and
didn't"
Such a tide of joy rushed through
Owen Glenn's heart that he could
hardly speak, and while he was
struggling to hido his emotions
Robert went on with bis revela
tions, little realizing the effect of
his words:
"She's not going home to-day
just on thit account. She told me.
to tell you to come up and see her
and tell her all about it. 1 wish
it bad been my luck to make such
a hit.' Women are great on any
one who touches their feelings.?
You ought to hnve seen her eyes
snap and sparkle when she was
lecturing me about not slaying to
help you. I never saw her look so
pretty. But, hallol what has come
over you?'' For Owen was hurrying
oS in the direction of the cliffs.
Ab he wont Robert caught a look
upon his face which told him more
than Owen intended. He stood
staring after bini, thinking to him
self:
"I see it all. My failure will be
Owen's opportunity. Well, he's a
good fellow, and as long as 1
can't hnve her what odds doeB it
make? And I saw last night she
cared no more for be than if I bad
been a slick."
When Annis caught sight of
Owen approaching the cottage she
ran out with an impulsive, -'Oh.
how glad I am to see youl I do so
want to tell you what I think of
youl"
Then she stopped short. Some
ting in Owen's face filled her with
con fusion. Bu t ou tstretched hands
were already within bis clasp, and
his low-murmured words of love
were sounding in her ears:
"I am as glad as you that I have
done something to please you;
fur ohl Annis, I love you eo
dearly that I would do or dare
anything for your sake."
And then, she never knew how
it came about, but his arms were
about her and his kisses were upon
her lips,' and she found that she
loved him so well she was willing
to promise to be bis wife when
ever he should be able to earn
enough to make a home for her.
They were both young, and it
would not be bard to wait, and
they were so sure of one another's
love.
Tbo prospect was at first that
several years must elapse before
their marriage, but suddenly all
was changed for them as if by
magic.
A letter came from abroad with
in a twelve-month. It was ad
dressed to the minister of the lit
tle seaside village, and asked fcr
information as to tbo person or
persons who had kindled a beacon
light in answer to a signal of dis
tress from a sailing vessel on the
night of?, giving the correct date
and the time when Owen bad sao
rificed inclination to the dictates
of duty and of humanity.
The light had saved a valuable
cargo from being lost, and the wri
ter proposed to give-balf of the pro
ceeds to the parties who had been
instrumental in the matter; also a
modal was to b? struok off com
I memorative of his gratitude that
the lives of all on board'had been
thus preserved to their families.
Owen at once became tbe boast
of the village; far when a man's
fame has reached foreign countries
his own townpeople are sure to re
echo it.
The wedding day wis set for the
first anniversary of tbe evening
wbon bis good fortune came to him
in the guise of disappointment,
and Robert Hunter was the first to
congratulate tbe young couple.
"Who'd have thought," he whis
pered to Owen, "that tbe tables
would havo been so turned? Truly,
'there's a tide in the affairs of men
which, taken aMbft flood, leads on
to fortune,' and you took it, my
boy."
wiion ne ient ana uvfla jiisi oul
side the village. Brown ?u cur
prised to see the stranger attired
in a drew suit, with a silk bat,
and a big diumond pin biasing on
hii shirt front, and he inquired:
??Been to fuueral today?"
"Why, blew you, no."
"N?? 1 eee you hare got on your
tyit clothes; are yon farming yetf''
"Farming? Well, 1 ihould say
not. lam running a roller skating
"Oh, ho's running a rink."
"And your daughter Lite."
"She is'skating tinde^r the ffiin<
agement of Tim Jones in the
Maine rinks."
"And your wife."
"She skipped out with Prof.
Meechi?, an instructor whom I
hired when I first opened the
rink."
"Ii Elder Longsermon preach
ing here.itill." .... .
"No; he resigned from the minis
try and is now a rink instructor.
"Who's preaching in the plaoe."
"Nobody."
"Nobody? What's the matter?"
"Churoh turned into a skating
rink."
"You don't say so."
"Yes, true as preaching."
"Where's Bill Beck, the grocery
man?"
"He went out of business a year
ago. He's got the ice cream stand
down in my rink."
"Pshawi Where's Aunt 8ally
Bacon and Deacon Schultier?"
"Why, dang i? all, they're trav
eling around visiting rinks, doing
the old man and woman act on
skates. 1 tell you they're im
mense."
j "Say, Dan, what became of your
old Shepherd dog, Cairo?''
"Darned if the dog didn't get the
fever and oue day be sneaked in
bohind the place where I kept
| skates to hire, put pn a pair and
rolled out on the floor just as nice
as any human being, when all of a
sudden his bind pair of skates got
mixed up with his tail, which
tripped him up and he fell back
ward" and broke his neck."
"Poor dog."
"Gosh, I can't help crying when
I think of biB sad and tragic end."
"Is tbore anybody left in this
town who does not skate."
"Yes."
"Where are thoy?"
"Up iu the cemetery on the hill."
A Very Odd Wedding.
A very odd Ainish (redding took
place in tbe Conestoga valley, near
Morgantown, a aye a reading, Pa.,
dispatoh. Sume three hundred
people attended. John 8.' Mast
and Miss Siennie Zook, children of
very wealthy Amish farmers, were
the contracting parties. The plain
ceremony of joining hands took
place in the meeting-house, after
which a lengthy procession pro
ceeded to the boase, where a ban
quet took place. A feature of tbe
feast was as follows: A young man
selected bis sweetheart, and both
went to the table. This action
was followed by similar selections,
until all tbe younger couples bad
gone in. A hymn was sung, when
feasting for ten minutes followed.
Then all arose, each con pie hold
ing a book between them, and an
other bym was sung; feasting then
eontinned another ten mitotan,
when there was more singing as
be.ore. In thia way tbe festivities
were kept np for six hours.
Berangor as a Bad Boy.
During the boyhood of the poet
Beranger, a place as atableboy was
provided for him by a plans old
aunt at Peronne, but be was soon
sent to her boose in disgrace, hav
ing negleoted his horse to read Vol
taire. It was a sultry snmmerday,
nor bad be reoeived a tithe of the
scolding in store for him, tre the
coming up of a thunder-storm sent
off the old lady to sprinkle her
house with holy water, to ward off
the lightning. The culprit stood
at the door to enjoy the scene, and
the electric fluid striking a tree
bard by, be was felled to tbe floor
by the shook. Coming to his sense
be cried out to his aVnt, who was
telling her pater nostera on her
knees by his side. "Well, what is
your holy water good for?" The
iiorror stricken dovotee turned him
out of diiors on tbe spot, and when
a few days afterward he entered
?.[. Laisne's printing office, all good
Myi in'Peronne bald been iold to
?but him, as incorrigibly wicked,

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