Middletown transcript. [volume], October 10, 1868, Image 1

About Middletown transcript. [volume] (Middletown, Del.) 1868-current

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MIDDLETOWN, NEW CASTLE COUNTY, DELAWARE, SATURDAY MORNING, OCTOBER 10, 18G'8.
NO., 4L
VOL. I.
E. R. COCHRAN,
DEALER IN
GRAIN, LIME,
FERTILIZER», &c.
Middletown, Delaware.
W ILL, pav the highest cash prices for all
kinds of Grain. Will sell Lime as low as
the lowest.
PERUVIAN GUANO,
$90 per Ton.
Ellis' Fertilizer,
$56 per Ton.
RHODES' PHOSPHATE,
$50 per Ton.
BAUGH'S RAW BONE PHOSPHATE,
$56 pêr Ton.
BAUGH'S CHICAGO BONE,
$50 per Ton.
Baugh's Chicago Blood Manure,
$50 per Ton.
.
Will sell No. 1
HOLE AGFNT, at Middletown, for the Kin«
of Super Phosphates, viz:—MOUO PHILLIPS,
The Best Phosphate for the
v other market. The Price
Genuine Improved.
money in this or ai „
Is not reduced, and neither is the quality of the
Manure. The retail price is $50 per ton—§6 in
;i ton of Phosphate is a small item, when we eon
extra peek of wheat to the acre, at
present prices, will more than pay the extra §0,
applying the Phosphate at the rate of gOO lbs to
I will guarantee it to make the extra
y other Phosphate, and
( th of grass after the
y other. It contains more No. 1
Peruvian Guano—less sand and less plaster than
some others, therefore has more strength.
That all I huv
sider that
tin* acre.
jack of wheat, ove
also to make a heavier gr
wheat than
Phillips'
lid in favor of M
1 wires only one trial to eon
I would refer persons
in doubt to John P. Cochran, Esq. who uses fifty
tons each fall, or to Win. Wood, or Win. It
Cochran, both of whom have given it a fair trial
side bv side with other phosphates.
A liberal deduction in price will bo made to
cash dealers or consumers of large quantities.
Of the Raw Bone Phosphates Baugh's U
mcrcial Manures have proved to he the liest in
the market. Farmers should use the best, and
get their money buck with compound interest.
Phosphates delivered free of freight, nt any
(Ratio
Phosphate is true
rince the
»st sceptical.
Rail Road,
on the Delaware or Chesapeake waters,
tities of 5 tons
A liberal deduction to clubs. Send in y
prders early.
August 8, 18G8.—3m.
the Deluw
at
landing
nwards.
in qii;
Index Office, Wauhknto.v, Va.
August 8tli, 18G8.
Leak Sir: —I wrote you last year in regard
pf your Phosphate, and bought a ton, which 1
sowed on ten acre* of wheat, I also purchased
oilier Fertilizers, and put the same quantity on.
I have just thrashed m.v wheat, and delivered it
al the depot. 1 hauled with a two horse wagon,
twenty-four Bushels at a load, and the wheat
with your Phosphate on it, weighed, ( the 24
bushels,) 1 45» lbs. more than the other. Thecon
(Mrqqence is, you will sell this fall, a large qunii
Moro Phillips,
titv in this
ighboriiood, a
great many have
Send
•me to me for your add
and I will distribute the
Yours,
; some
pamphlets,
J. W. FINKS.
TIMELY HINTS TO ALL.
H OW many have lost a father, mother, bro
ther, sister, or an innocent little prattling
fluid, and have not even a shadow of resemb
lance to look upon. After tho separation some
little toy or a trilling article is often kept for
years, and cherished ns a token of rememberunee.
llow much more este
•d
d valuable
be
•of Horning's perfect Photographs, of the
iireelv any
hived aqd l t M, There i
does not take pleasure in gazing
of a friend, and whe
jnoved by death, we ofte
with an expression of
not give for
Readers, perhaps y
r your mind is upu
d visit Horni
; win
the feat
that friend 1ms beer) re
hear the c^ckqnation
ret; O ! ftj.at would I
•h a picture of
better thing
the subject, then take an
Gallery, then
future period, have reason to
-annot do
hour
you I
keel grateful for these gentle hints from
JOHN M. HORNING,
Middletow
tw
y, at s
Del.
The best memento that you can supply,
value l frieiul when you die,
Is the life-spe. king picture taken in health,
Far better tnaq all of earth's fading wealth.
July ll-tf
Or leave
FOR SALE.
75,000 Healthy Peach Trees
TT* MBRACING all the choice market and fam
4-^ ily varieties.
llale's Early,
Troth's Early,
Early York,
Crawford's Early,
Moore's Favorite,
Mary's Choice,
Red Rareripe,
Stump the World,
•ford's laite,
Ward's Late,
Smock F
Crocket White,
Vandyke's Favorite,
Last of the Season.
« 1
Mi?
Jiceves' Favorite,
Will be ready for planting in the fall of 1868,
or Spring of 1869.
Apply to
E. R. COCHRAN, or
CHARLES ADAMS.
Middletown, Del.
August 8—6m.
Farmers, Your Attention!!
OTICE that the PENINSULAR MACHINE
WORKS have "resinned labor," and par
ticular attention will be given to repairing Bon
ington k Hussey's Reapers, Horse Rakes, Thresh
ers, and Horse Powers of all kinds. A lot of Su
perior Reapers on hand. Farmers, look to your
;intersts, and purchase Reliable Machinery "made
at home," where you can have your repairing
done promptly and reliably, and at the shortest
notice. JL-ÿ" All work warranted equal to any
offered,
July 26-tf
N
J. T1IOS. BlIDD,
Agent.
COAL! COAL!! COAL!!!
O NE HUNDRED TONS jf the celebrated
GAR NOTCH" LEHIGH COAL- no
louding at New Castle, and will be ready for de
livery on Monday next, thç 17th instant. The
„continued ûtiikes in the mining regions have al
ready advaneed the Price of Ppal, and give
promise of High Rates the coming' »eu'.pn. Now
the tipje, therefore, for Consumers to lay in a
supply- E. T. EVANS,
Aug. lé— tf Middletp#'j? ; Del.
Stock of Millinery Goods For Sale.
"SU
lin
T HE undcrpigped purposing to ia^xc from bu
siness will S(ell nt private sale her entire
Itock of Millinery and gapey Goods This is a
fare opportunity for any person wishing to cijter
a good business. Apple to
LYDIA V. CANNON,
Middletown, Del.
Aug. 29_-tf
BARGAINS, BARGAINS,
Cash Buyers Look to your Interest.
S. R. STEPHENS & Co.
H AVING opened thei
Middletown, Del. i
ir New Cash Store, in
arc now prepared to
large and well selected
offer to the Public
Stock of
. DRY GOODS,
GROCERIES, &o.
They offer a large lot of CARPETS,
Very Row ?rqm Auction,
A FINE STOCK OF
BOOTS AND SHOES,
Clotli.s, Cassimera, and
Ready Made Clothing.
HATS AND CAPS,
Dress Goods, Notions,
HARDWARE, AC.
t'anned Fruits, Plcklra, Saurrs.
and all kinds of Goods usually kept in a country
store.
Having purchased
entire stock for cash,
: prepared to sell at city prices for cash or
country produce.
Buyers wonld do well to give us
we
call.
SAML. R. STEPHENS & Co.
Middletown, Del.
July 4-_— lj' t
TO THE FARMING COMMUNITY.
T HE subscriber respectfully
of thu Farmers of New (
d Kent c<
ills the attention
tie co. Del.
ties,Mil. tp the following list
of standard Fertilisers, always kept on
and furnished to prder, at anv station
Dein w
Cecil
hand.
the
Railroad, or on Chesapeake apd Delu
•are Waters.—Viz :
RHODES' SUPER PHOSPHATE
Moro Phillips' Super Phosphate,
Whann's Super Phosphate,
CroasdsUc'g Super Phosphat«*.
IIEWES' SUPER PHOSPHATE,
COE'S SUPER PHOSPHATE,
Berger and But?' Super Phosphate
■4 BAUGH'S SUPER PHOSPHATE,
BAUGH'S CHICAGO BONE,
PERUVIAN GUANO,
PACIFIC GUANO,
RODUNDA GUANO.
E. T. EVANS.
Opposite Depot, Middletown, Del.
July 18—tf
BOAVJlR'R
COMPLETE MANURE
n
MANUFACTURED BY
HENRY BOWER, CHEMIST,
PHILADELPHIA.
MADE PitOil
Super-Phosphate- of Lime, Ammonia
Potash,
WAljJ^NTKD FREE FROM ADULTERATION.
nul
ri^HIS Manure contains all tlje elements to p
JL duee large crops of all kinds, an
recommended by all who have used it, also
distinguished Chemists who have, by unuly:
tested its qualities.
Packed in hags of 200 pounds each,
DIXON, SHARPLESS k CO.
S»)LE ^UKJJTH,
3'J South Water and 40 South Delaware Avenue
PHILADELPHIA.
.i is highly
1
For sale by WM. REYNOLDS,
7 .) South Street,
tlALTIMORK, Mil.
Also hy JOHN A. REYNOLDS k SONS,
Middletown
And hy dealers generally throughout the
July 18, '68.
Del.
try.
Rhodes! Rhodes! Rhodes!!
Price Reduced lo sr»o per Tun.
_
T
•t the recent decline i
a larger consumption in this region,
the price of Rhodes' Standard Manure has been
reduced to $50 per ton of 2000 lbs.
The quality of this Manure has not deteriora
ted, being better now tlmn it was thirteen years
ago.
Grain, and i
duce
It is always dry and suitable for drilling.
All that is asked for Rhodes, is to try it àlong
other Fertilizer in the American market,
the quantity and quality
of the grain at Harvest, and the subsequent
growth of clover or other crop.
Put up in bags or barrels, and sold hy the sub
scriber at Middletown, Del.—on Chesapeake and
Delaw
side
and note the result i
Canal, and on Chesapeake and Deln
•ftters, at $50
per ton, clear of freight,
aers early, ns the supply is
E. T. EVANS;
Middletow
Send i
limited.
July 18—tf.
y<
Del..
HARNESSJMAKING.
f I MIE undersigned having commenced Ilurness
X making at
ODESSA, DEL.
Is prepared to furiiish every article in his line
on the most reasonable terms.
His experience in city and country justifies his
promise that
a
ALL HIS WORK WILL BE OF TIIE
BEST QUALITY
And gives him confidence to solicit n share of the
publie patronage.
j2&ö~His Slipp ig pijf Main street, in thq fiQUse
formerly occupied by Joseph Tawres.v.
y occupied by Joseph Tuwresv.
WM. T. GALLAHEIt.
April 25—tf.
GO TO DEAKYNE'S
F OR everything that is nice, in the way of
fresh family Loaf Bread, Fan<y Cakes, su
perior Confectionery. Ice Cream, Ac. Parties
supplied with Cake, Confectionery, lee Cream Ac.
to order, at shortest notice. Goto l)eakyuo*s
for everything that is aice.
J. B. DEAKYNR.
Middletown, Del.
a
August 8—5m.
"
<1
"
a
Original fjoctrij. .
BE CONTENT.
Written for the Middletopm T^ap script,
BY DE Sl'LLH.
Why should we notice little things
And wli.f should trifles so
ink hearts, and make us grieve,
Vex
And magnify
Whe
e are prone to sorrow, too,
we miss the joys
Which «used to comfort oft our minds
And raise our cheerful vpico.
Why do
How foolish, too, when life is full
Of pleasant things, to seek,
we dismal feel, the ones
We know will make us weep.
And often, when we need but stretch
Our hand to grasp sonic sweet,
We, with a suicidal will,
Take what's with pain replete.
child's young heart alone
Is folly still bound up ;
But, though we omer grow, we still
Hold fast a bitter cup.
I'm (
Not i
We point at the old
isanthrope,
And scorn his hateful look ;
But, in ourselves, we let the seeds
Of his disease spring up.
Now we might just as well he gay,
And seize on pleasure's fruit,
As pick the sour and baleful growth
, Of disonteutment'
So from the future, let us learn
of content,
we're old wc can look hack
Upon a life well spent.
A k
And whe
With pleas
(Although not free fr
fraught und full of joy,
trrief,)
But still we'll find that us
e will,
Ho
Hike
• life.
vc may
Philadelphia , September 28, 18G8.
popular Sales.
THE PARSON'S FIX.
An Awkward Predicament Turns Out
Pleasantly.
"1 do not know," he began, "good
people what you mean by a fix ; but if you
mean an awkward predicament, which for
the season is unpleasant, but may or may
uot end advantageously for the individual
chiefly concerned, J cap relate to you an
interesting narration in which I was the
principal performer,; but if by fix you
intend to designate some circumstance in
the chapter of incidents in humau life
which of necessity must terminate very
unpleasantly, like the case of our elder
brother, Richard, why all I can say is
that—"
" You are an ass, Ned," burst in Dick.
" In the first place, you know very well
what a fix is. You have not left college
quite long enough to have forgotten slang.
Secondly, Ned allow me to remark that
iny fix did end advantageously, most ad
vantageously, for I got out of matrimony,
and saw how nearly through it I had
got into trouble. Thirdly, permit me, my
dear fellow, to observe, and I will answer,
for if the rest of the company, or congre
gation, as I suppose you would call them,
will indorse my observation, that you arc
now in the pulpit, and consequently you
need not use the longest words you can
find ; moreover, you may come to the point
at once, provided you have a point to
come to ; and although we happen to be
nearly related to you, it is not absolutely
necessary that in the course of your story,
you should address us more than once as
'f My brethren, or My dear brethren."
" Tits bien," replied Ned, good liumor
edly, " I will tell you a fix, a clerical one
to boot, moreover it is the biggest fix I
ever was in, and yet it ended so advanta
geously as to start me in life. Just after I
was married, I took the curacy—a sole
charge—ofB
resided in the rectory, the rector himself
being obliged to live in the South of France.
Callers of course came, but owing to one
circumstance apd another, we missed see
ing most of them. Before we had started
on our round of returning visits, I receiv
ed a friendly note from Mr. Chilmark, a
vicar in the neighborhood, stating that, in
former times, he had known my father at
college ; that he had the rural dean and a
few friends coming to dine with him on
such a day, and that if my wife and I
would waive ceremony (we had not then
returned their call), Mrs. Chilmark and
he would be very much pleased if we would
join their party. I should remark that
my wife and 1 had »»ever seen Mr and
Mrs. Chilmark ; we were out in the parish
when they called on us. They lived about
three miles on the other side of W-,
from which we live three miles distant.
In those days I did not keep a close car
riage, but drove my wife in an open wa
gonette. I did not kpow the country at
all well, but having studied the map,
and got directions from an acquaint
ance, I had little doubt but that, with the
help of a young moon, I should find my
way.
, in Warrickshire. I
It so happened that the night of Novem
ber 17, 182—, was very foggy ; the moon
was hardly of any use to us. We could
find our way to the town of W
right, because it was a turnpike road, and
I was acquainted with it ; hut with regard
to the other side of the town and the cross
roads, I hardly kpew what to do. I made
OP ray mind to see if I could get out at all ;
and if I found myself In tho least degree
puzzled, I determined to go back and get
an ostler from the town to act ns guide.
As wc were leaving W
to drive through a turnpike, a well ap
pointed carnage overtook us, and passed
through the gate just before us. I asked
the woman at the gate whose carriage that
all
, and about
was? " Mr. Singleton's," she replied.
"How fortunate," exclaimed my wife;
" that is the rural dean. Wo know that
he is going to dine with the Chilmarks ;
so you have only to follow close upon him
and wo shall be all right." Acting on my
wife's brief suggestion, I did follow the
carriage, and that closely. Luckily my
horse was a good one. Occasionally when
near water, wo seemed to be plunging
through darkness, so thick was the fog.
However, all went well ; and nt last I was
glad to follow the carriage before me
through an avenue up to a large house,
whoso hall was blazing with light and
resplendent with liveries of servants. We
<1 id not take much notion then of these
things, but, as I divested myself of my,
wraps, and my wife was putting herself
strait in some back room, I could not help
envying Mr. Chilinark, and thinking that
his living must be an exceedingly good
one, as he was able to have things in such
stylo.
In a few minutes wo were ushered into
the drawing room, the butler making, as
usual, some blunder about our names
when announcing us. Mr. and Mrs. Chil
mark came forwaril and kindly accosted us.
My wife was installed on a sofa near the
fire, and I formed one of a knot of gentle
men in the back ground. We were a
large party, about twenty in number ; and
as the butler left the room, I thought I
heard Mrs. Chilmark give the order,
" Dinner." A few dull moments, ns usu
al, before that meal, when suddenly an
electrical shock of a curious nature was
communicated to the majority assembled
in the drawing room. The door was
opened, and instead of dinner being an
nounced, the butler ushered in Mr. and
Mrs. Templeton. There did not appear to
be anything unusual in this, but evidently
a great commotion was created. Persons
looked at my wife and myself, and at last
Mr. Chilmark touched me on the shoulder
saying : " May I speak a word with you
in the library?" I followed, and noticed
my host, in crossing the hall, say some
thing to one of the servants.
As soon as we were closeted together,
Mr. Chilmark',s manner changed at once.
Now sir," said he to me, what is the
meaning of all this? Who are you real
ly ? Where do you come from ?
course I was surprised ; and wished my
father's peppery friend, Mr. Chilmark, at
the opposjtc side of the globe. 1 calmly
stated who I was, and reminded him of
his invitation.
" I invite you sir!" he roared; " you
—you—you"—. He bit his lips to cheek
his angry words.
" Yes, sir," I replied, "you did; and
you asked also Mr. Singleton, the rural
dean, and I have come not exactly with
him but just behind him.
" Stop sir ; no more lies."
" Excuse me sir," I replied, one more
word and I have done. Hither you are
prematurely drunk or you are mad, I do
not care to dine with cither drunkard or
madman. I shall call my wife out of the
drawing room and bog to wish you good
evening."
• 'Excuse me," he hissed through his
teeth, while lie placed himself between me
and the door; "you will not get off so
easily, young man.
Now this was a pleasant predicament
thus to be closeted with a madman."
"Pray, may I ask what on earth you
mean?" he replied. •• Do you know who
I am ?—where you are ?"
" Yes, you are Mr Chilmark, tlje rector
a very old friend of my father,
the late Mr. Temple, of-; I am stand
ing in your library at your rectory, hav
ing been asked here to dine; and, upon
my word, the sooner I get out of your hos
pitable house, and cut your a<
for good, the better I shnll
He grinned horribly as I spoke and
said: "I am Lord Claydon.
Claydon castle. 1 have never asked you
to dine ; in short, you are a scamp,
have already sent for a policeman, and un
til he arrives ypu shall not leave this
room."
I
a
Of
of
ajuaintunce,
be pleased."
This is
1
Well, thought I, thank goodness he has
sent for a policeman ; so ere long I shall
got rid of this madman's society. What
to do I knew not. I fixed my eyes on him
and tried to piaster him by staring him out
of countenance. We wore both silent for
a few moments.
At last my friend said to
me : " Your talc is ingenious, young man,
but it breaks down. If you were going to
dine with Air. Chilmark, at-rectory,
how came you to be here, a distance of six
miles fromy our pretended destination ?"
"I then explained that I knew' the ru
ral dean, Mr. Singleton, was going to dine
with Air. Chilmark—that I was a stranger
in the country, and was not acquainted
with the roads— that the turnpike woman
told me it was Air. Singleton's carriage
which passed us at the gate, and that I
had followed it and consequently found
myself where I now was."
"Light began to dawn somewhat upon
the obfuscated senses of both of us. It
struck me that my supposed madman was
in all probability really Lord Claydon, and
that in some way I had made a mess of
the matter—missed my leading carriage
in the fog, or done something of that kind.
I imagine that it began to strike the gen
tleman opposite, that possibly, after all, I
might be an impostor. Lord Claydon—
for se I must call him—then said : Y r ou
tell me that you are Mr. Temple, tho cu
rate of-. What proofs can you give ine
that you arc what you represent yourself?
"Plenty tO-morrow," replied I, "but
not many at present. Look at me howev
er—do I not appear like a gentleman and
a clergyman."
With a kind ghastly grin, Lord Clay
don said : "That goes for nothing. You
are not a bit better got up than
ever, I want more proof."
"Proof!" replied I. "Why go into
your drawing-room and see if some of your
neighbors do not possess more information
than yourself, and ask them whether or
not a Mr. Temple has not very recently
come to be "curate of-."
"Oh very likely that is the ease, sir;
but I want proof that you are Mr. Tem
ple."
ly
I
of
to
. I low
"Proofs man! Tam getting very im
patient—"Proofs, man!" Why, what
am I to do? I cannot refer you to iny
mother, for she is not here, I do not carry
my card case in my dress coat ; and my
wife's evidence is, l suppose, not admissi
ble. I tell you, though what I can do—
I beg to refer you to my pocket-handker
chief, my stockings and the tail of my
shirt. If you like to inspect them, you
will find Edward Temple written in mark
ing ink. So saying I pulled out, my hand
kerchief and threw it on the table. Lord
Claydon took it up carelessly glanced at it,
then smiling, showed me E. 11. C. em
broidered in the corner. To my
annoyance, I saw that my wife had pi:
in my pocket a fine scented handkerchief
of her own, that I might seem grand J
suppose ; and not only that, the pocket
handkerchief was one of her marriage out
fit, and marked—goodness for what rea
son, though I could suggest many, and
none of them creditable to the fair sex—
with the initials of her maiden name —the
.1
said pocket-handkerchief, mind you, be
ing never to be used till she became Mrs.
Edward Temple.
1 was not pleased at all
at this; and you know it too, Lizzie," said
Ned, turning to his laughing
then went on \ "I explained matters to
Lord Claydon, and said; It really looks
awkward, but may T beg you to examine
my stockings, and the tail of my shirt.
My wife's stockings would not fit. me, and
she can hardly have a shirt like this. So
saying, I began to throw oft' my Welling
ton boots."
ife,
mid
"Lord Claydon interrupted me; Mv
dear sir; I cannot allow that,
enough to forgive me for
place. I could not subject a gentleman to
the test you propose ; and if 1 have by any
chance been taken in
laughed—all T can say is, I have become
deceived by the most perfect fac simile of
a gentleman."
"Come Ned, draw it mild," suggested
settler Dick.
"Well," returned Nod, those were the
words he used, and as he spoke, he held
out his hand; "Forgive me. will you? Our
hands met in a mutual squeeze. He sat
down for a moment at the table, wrote a
hasty note, and then taking my arm with
in his, led me to the drawing room. As
he crossed the ball, be gave the note to a
servant, with a message, of which all I
caught was . "Give that to"
A few moments after we entered the
drawing-room, dinner was announced.
Lord Claydon took my wife in, and I had
an honorable companion entrusted to my
care, and found myself in a prominent po
sition at the table. The first glass of
champagne had just been handed around,
when, in a kind of stage whisper, the but
tler announced to Lord Claydon, "The po
liceman has come, mv lord
ship bit bis lip, and looked sheepish, but
said nothing.
After dinner, a note was banded to
Be kind
taken
what Lai
again—and lie
IT is lord
him.
Tie hastily skimmeil it. an«l at once
rose nn<l said. "Ladies and gentlemen, at
an ordinary dinner party speeches are de
testable, and the drinking of healths a
thing of bygone days : and yet I must do
the one and propose the other. Lady Clay
don and 1 bad asked our new neighbors
31 r. and Mrs. Templeton to dine here to
day. We had not met hut had Mr. Tem
pleton pointed out to me in the street.
When Mr. and Mfs. Temple were intro
duced, I naturally concluded they were
Mr. and Mrs. Templeton, especially its my.
butler mumbled the name, though I con
fess Mr. Temple hardly appeared to ho the
same person pointed out to me in the
street as Mr. Templeton. However, per
sons look different hy candle-light and »lay
light. When Mr. and Mrs. Templeton
were afterwards ushered into the drawing
room, I was astonished. I at once reeog
uized Mr. Templeton as the gentleman wh
had been pointed out to me under that
name. The question of course, arose, who
can Mr. Temple be. He must be an im
postor. We adjourned to the library, and
a discussion took place between us, which,
on my part, was more animated than po
lite. It ended in my being quite satisfied
that Air Temple was a gentleman, though
how he came to my bouse I cannot exact
ly understand. I wrote a bunded line to
Mr. Chilmark just before dinner, and I
have now got an answer to the effect that
Mr. Temple was to have dined with him
to-day, but that he is glad to learn that
hy accident he is enjoying what Mr. Chil
mark is pleased to call the superior hospi
talities, of Claydon castle. As tq superi
or hospitalities, all I can say is, that I
most sincerely hope Air. Temple will kind
ly forgive my hospitable treatment of him
before dinner. I will make him the most
I
ample apology be likes for my uucourte
0118 suspicion ; and let me add for his in
formation—for the rest of you have heard
the story—that my uncourtcous suspicions
arose from the fact of a well-got-up, gen
tleman clergyman calling here at luuchcon
time, lie represented himself as being
the Secretary for the society for-,
showed me his receipt book, and talked
glibly of matters and persons connected
with the society,
was that he bud bis wife lunched here. I
paid a check for five hundred pounds, be
The end
>f the a flair
ing a legacy lately left by my friend,
Mr. —-, to the society. Unfortunate
ly for me, I happened to be Mrf
executor. I also paid him my annual
subscription to the society. He and his
wife made a good lunch, pocketed my sil
ver spoons and forks, and their coachman
stole my things from the stable and the
servants' hall. So you- see Mr. Temple,
I am just now more than usually suspici
ous of gentlemanly persons."
"A good natured laugh at the expense
of Lord Claydon and myself ran round the
table. It appeared on inquiry that Mr.
Ambrose, who was dining with Lord Clay
don, drove a pair of greys and a close car
riage , as likewise did Mr. Sineleton, the
rural dean, who was dining with Mr. Chil
mark. The turnpike woman had mista
ken one carriage for the other, and owing
to the mis-dircction, I had followed the
wrong carriage. Hence my fix at the bot
tom of which was a woman. However,
all's will that ends well. Lord Claydon
took very kindly to me ; I was a constant
visitor at Claydon Castle ; and w hen the
living T now hold became vacant, Lord
Claydon used his influence successfully
with the Lord Chancellor to get me ap
pointed as the new vicar."
's
11VKHIAGE.
It is often proclaimed hy the advocates
of celibacy, that there are but few instances
of happy unions; and wo mtist, however
unwilling we may be, acknowledge the
truth of this assertion. But it is undeni
able, that when the marriage state is en
tered into with congenial dispositions amt
proper motives, without any sordid views
or selfish ends, it is produc tiro of more
perfect happiness, than any other situation
in which human beings may be placed.
If on the other hand, people will attach
themselves together for life, without due
consideration, led ou only by the humor
of the moment, and pass their days re
gardless of each others desires, and ouly
seeking for the gratification of their own
peculiar whims and caprices—mutually
unbending'and unyielding to the other, it
would be the very height of madness to
suppose that such a connexion should be
productive of aught else but continual dis
pute, war and misery.
Reciprocal, congugal love, is the source
of the purest happiness that earth affords.
It. is a perpetual fountain from whence
flow continual streams of joy to gladden
the heart of the recipient—to give to him
comfort in all hours of affliction—to revive
his drooping spirits, ami inspire him with
new life, as fall the gentle dews of heaven
upon the faded flowers, and revives them
to their prestino fragrance and beauty. It
is the consumation of affection—the happy
minglemcnt of two fond hearts in one.
Their mutual wishes tend toward,* the hap
piness of the other, and they drink from
the same cup, whether its contents are the
sweet waters of gladness or the gall of bit
terness. The sorrows that rend one heart
reach the other, and the throb of joy that
vibrates in one breast thrills in the other.
With them there is no reserve. All their
actions arc guided by mutual sincerity,
and they therefore have never to complain
of deceit. Such a connexion is, and ever
productive of the purest emotion
of pleasure, that the human heart is sus
ceptible of, and will raise the virtuous and
contented to a height of happiness, that
those who plod on in the dreary, solitary
path of celibacy, can never reach.
To the above may be added, that I he
Author of our being has said : "It is not
good for man to live alone," and who
shall gainsay his word ? Did he not in
stitute marriage, and did he not know
what was best for the creature he had
made ? ITow idle then is all the twaddle
about celibacy. It may do to joke over,
and laugh at ; hut, all things considered,
it cannot be denied that marriage is the
happiest state of man. It is not always
so, because* men do not enter into the
marriage relation properly. Rut this is
their own fault. Of one thing let all he
well assuied, and that is—there is no true
happiness where love is not, though all
things else conspire !,o make a union de
sirable. It must not be overlooked, how
ever, that only the most fervent love can
survive the trials and cares of life in the
midst of abject poverty. Love is esset t
tial , but something to feed it on and clothe
it, withall, is desirable.— Ed. Transcript.
W1
Fattening Hogs.— -After bogs have
been put up for fattening, and during the
first week of the fattening process, cooked
roots, apples, pumpkins, aud vegetables
of various kinds, mixed with a small quan
tity of meal, and during the last three
weeks of the fattening they should be fed
exclusively on cooked corn meal a^d glops.
It is extremely wasteful to feed corn in
the ear. We may here remark, that
warm and comfortable sleeping apartments
for the hogs expediate the process of fat
tening, and that the open porting of the
pens should be at all times furnished with
an abundance of rough vegetable fibre and
woods' mould, to be worked over by the
animals and converted into the richest of
manures .—Maryland farmer.
There are 4,000,000 acres of the vine
in cultivation in France, yielding an av
erage of one million two hundred thou
sand gallons of wine annually.
A Fan is a good thing ; but to a gen
tleman a Fanny is better.
Ät and Humor.
SuccKssrm. Sidncn.—M. L. affronted
his wife, who, to punish him, resolved tq
act dumb whenever lie was present ; nmj
so well did she maintain her resolution, tln ( t
nearly a week passed away in which not
a word did she utter in his presence. She
performed her household duties as usual,
hut speak she would not. He tried to
coax her out of her whim, but in viiiq
At last lie tried the following plan to over
come lier resolution, hy working on her
curi. sity-—tin mast ungovernable femalg
propensity. Returning one evening ffpiq
liis employment, his lady sat there as usu ;
al, mute. lie immediately commenced q,
vigorous search throughout the room.
The closet was examitmn, the bed-room,
drawers, boxes, shelves ; everything that
could bo thought (if was overhauled. IIiy
wife was struck with astonishment nt Iqs
unaccountable behavior, and as bo procee
ded in his search, aim became anxious to
find out what he Was looking for.
could it be ? She looked in his face, tq
glean, if possible, from his expression the
object of his search ; but no go, he was so
ber as a judge. He lifted the edge of the
carpet, looked under the table cover ap<j
finally approached her chair, looked under
it, and eveu went so far as to brush her
dress partly aside, as if what he sough!
might be there. .She could stand it pq
longer. She hurst out, "Bob, what are
you looking for ?" He smiled and an
swered, "Your tongue, and I've found it. ! l *
What
1—
Where to Live —All good mop gbou|c(
live in Archangel J all angry met) in lre ;
land ; all murderers in Kildare ; uu pip*,
eus men in Somerset ; all brokers in Stock
holm ; nil cold men in Chili ; all geome
tricians in Cuba ; all fools in folly Islaud ;
all horticulturist»* in Botany Bay ; a||
wags in the Bay of Kuudy ; all perfpipeng
in Muskat or Cologne; all )}pov*ers ip
Malta ; all gluttons in Turkey ; till beg
gars in Hungary; all laconic men in La
iO:iia; all mourners in Siberia or Wales;
all confectioners iu Candia ; all children
in the Crimea; all oil speculators m
Faroe Is
Greece; all gamblers in the
lands ; all stumblvrs in Tripoli ; all cn
rious men in Pokip ; all soldiers in Ar
u»Gii.i uj. Warsaw.
The "Grecian lietid" is a new HCiiBfc
tion, hut it is doubtM if it will displace
the "Italian Nest»?,'''which has long been
the rage. An exchange thus describes
the latter distemper ; "It usually attack*}
young people, and always jn couple*, Tfyp
symptoms arc a drooping of the head of the
lady till it rests on the shoulder of the
gentleman, and hip moustache sweeps hot
forèh 'ud, and his arm encircles tler'wftjsj ,
It usually comes on in the cars, on the
steamboats, and iQ other public places,
and is said by those who have tried it to
be very nice."
Sympathetic. An Irish girl was bor
king biscuit in an oven. The |ady ftjg
house stepped into tho kitchen, and founij
Biddy in tears. What is the matter? in
quired the lady. I was jist thinking,
sobbed Biddy—suppose I was to get mar
ried and have a little baby, and the pqqp
little darling should fall intq £qe pyo}} f|ijq
got bijrpt up entirely l Ol» dear l
hoo-ooo !
" Why do you drive such a pitiful-look 7
ing carcass as that? Why don't you pqt
a heavier coat of flesh on him ?" said a
traveler to an Irish car driver. " A
ier load of flesh ! Bv tl f o pqyci:,s, thq
poqr qi;q.i»re euu hardly carry what little
there is on him now !
A lady whose ftimily were very »nucty
in the habit of making ouuqmlriims was
one evening asked by her husband in uq
" Why are all these doors
"I give it up!" instantly
excited ton
left open ?'
replied the lady.
rrf
Two Quaker girls were ironing op the
same side-table. One asked the other
which side she would take, the right or
the left. She answered promptly. " It
will be right for nie to Like the Jcft. Slid
then it will be left for thee to take tic
right."
A widow who bad just lost her husbapd,
was weeping bitterly for the departed. A
friend tried to console lipy.' " JJq,
said the fair mourber, " let mo have my
cry out, after that 1 shantthink auy thing
about it."
A young widow was asked why she wa$
going to get married so soon after the
death of her first husband. "Oh, la!"
said she, "I do it to prevent fretting my
self to death on account of my dear Tom."
— -- t -
An nncieut sage uttered the follqwing
apothegm ; The goodness of gold is tried
by fire, tho goodness of women tyy gold,
add the goodness of men by the ordeal of
women.
A bachelor, according tq the latest def^
inition, is a man wliq has lost the oppor :
tunity of making ft woman miserable.
"I feel it my duty to dilate," said a t$ r
dious orator. "Iietter die late than nev
er !" slated a voice iu the crowd.
Why do so many people in China travej
on foot ? Because there is only one Oqehin
China