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*• *• 'JV ] H & if. c n Dl Bj Air A A A NO. 32. MIDDLETOWN, NEW CASTLE COUNTY, DELAWARE, SATURDAY MORNING, AUGUST G, 1870. YOL. 3. TIIE PATENT Gem and Herd Fruit Jars. They combine all the ood qualities of Fruit They challenge and defy all competi tion. Mark the elfectivo simplicity of their per formance. Any child can use them. They have been test ■ed for the last three years by the inventor. The fruit is placed in the Jars and properly heated, when the covers •are applied and they seal themselves. They are opened readily, the Gem being fastened by a screw ring acting on a glass stopper, and the Hero being fastened by ars. Hzm a screw ring acting on a metal cap re sulting in pressure on the stop per or cap, and gum ring. These JARS are perfect in every re spect as purchasers will find upon a trial of their merits. equal FOR SALE, HWholesale A Retail BY John A. Reynold» & Sons. MIDDLETOWN, DEL. Country merchants sulpplied at manufacturers prices in quantities of not less than one gross. July 2— y A VALUABLE FARM At PRIVATFJ SALE 1 ! A Valuable Farm of 36$ Acres, situate on Lankford's Bay, Kent county, Md. within half a mile of Edcsvilh, ttvo miles from Hock Hall, and within half a mile of tho Kent co. It. It. alt cleared Within the last three years 40,000 bushels of lime have been applied. There is a young d in cultivation except 30 acres. TEACH ORCHARD Of 5,000 Trees, Three Years Old. And a prospect of 2500 boxes of Peaches this season. OVER 130 ACRES IN CORN, with a prospect of a good crop. 10O Acres in Wheat, prospect good for 2000 bus. notwithstonding the unfavorable season. J00 Acres of good virgin soli, just cleared and grubbed, second year in corn, soil a light and productive loam. The improvements a re a good Two-Story and an Attic Brick Building, in good repair, nml all the necessary Out-Buildings, in good order. Schools within half a mile, Episcopalian and Methodist Churches witilin two miles. This is one of the most desirable farms in the lower section of Kent county, having fish and oysters and all the salt water privileges. Price, $22,000; $8,odo cash, or in GO days; and the balance in live equal annual payments. For further information apply at tiro ufiicc of the Middletown Transcript. July 2—tf TO FARMERS ! The Highest Prices Paid for Grain, tho Kern Co. R. R. ELI HU JEFFERSON, New Castle, Del. Delivered order of RAIN bought exclusively on commission, and satisfaction guaranteed. Orders solicited for BAMBO'S AND WHITE'S LIME, G Whunn 's and Baugh's Phosphates, PLASTER, &C. &0. Orders hy Mail lyonipüy Attended to. A. T. STOOPS, Dealer in Grain, Limp, Coal, Fertilizers, Ac. Maslsey's, Kent County, Md. apr 23—tf THOMAS MASSEY, JR. CLOCK AND WATCH MAKER, ^blnBtrcet, ucarly opposite Walker's Hotel, Middlctowyi, Delaware C LOCKS, Welches. Jewelry, Ac. neatly and promptly repared. Always on hand and for sale, Clocks, Watches, Plated Ware, Forks, Spoons, Silver Napkin Bings, Silver Thimbles, Salt, Sugar and Tea 8poona, Butter Knives, Gold Breast-Pins, Eur ftings, Finger-Rings, Sleeve Buttons, Watch •Chains, Watch Keys, |Key Rings, Steel Watch Chains, Ac. Dec. 12—tf. D elaware rail road bonds, DELAWARE STATE BONDS, NEW CASTLE CO. BONDS, For Sale by GEO. INGRAM A CO. oct. 23—tf 'f^IRST Gloss Real Estate Bonds for sale by X GEO. W. INGRAM A CO. (Jet 23—tf C APITALISTS are invited to call and exam ine our list of Securities before investing. Oct. 23—tf I Geo. W. Ingram é Co. W ANTE Ä™ ßTOCK. Highest market rates paid by Oct. 23—tf GEO. W. INC RAM A CO. NATIONAL BANK WOOL WANTED !! T HE tiigbest cash brices paid far BOHEMIA MILLS. MÜRPHEY & REYBOLD. Kersevs Yarns, Blankets, Ac. al , and will be exchanged fur Wool may 14—tf WOOL at Oossimeres, ways on hand tf desired. * O BASONED OAK >nd PINE WOOD, sawed Ö and Split, delivered in town, in quantities to suit, nt $7 per cord, by E. T. EVANS. P«b 19—tf VXTILWNOTON A READING R. R. BONDS W For sale by GKO. W. INGRAM A CO. CM, 13—tf Brokers. . - C - - ■ ★ I / U\ 0 rg ßj fjrr i m za O co •ill Kins' £ CO -< or THE AMERICAN Buttonhole, Overseaming, Sewing Machine, Has the following advantages over most all other Sewing Machines in the market: 1 It has a tension u thread or dropping of stitches. 2 It 1ms the most powerful construction, which will insure good work for a quarter of a century. 3 It sews the lightest eanihric and the usual shoe leather without any strain 4 It has a feed bar which can be lowered or raised at will, thus adapting it to all kinds of material. 5 It is impossible to get the machine out of or der unless by rust, dust or taking apart. It will never get out of order by working. G It has the highest attainable speed, making 2,200 stitches per minute by foot, and 3,000 by steam. 7 It is the lightest running shuttle machine. 8 It makes the most beautiful lock stitch. 0 It has the handsomest appearance. 10 It has the strongest, most convenient, hand somely polished, braced table, with drawer, and hoard to prevent soiling the dress. is polished, fitting and locked as a little trunk. There is nothing better than this to preserve the machine. 12 It has straight needle. 13 Four bobbins hold a spool of cotton. 14 It 1ms the best licmmcr. hieb prevents cutting of whatever. 11 Its cov 15 It lias the most complete attachment, the Jack-of-nll-trades, hems, tells, binds, hastes, tucks, braids and ruffles. 1G It is as simple as any machine in the mar ket. 17 It needs but little time to learn its opera tion. 18 It has the liest embroidering attachment. 19 It sews on straight a piece while puffing another at the same time without basting, at tachment or after work. These advantages combine the host qualities of a sewing machine for tile family who want to use it steadily in all kinds of work. Nothing equal can he found in the way of combining the advantages of all the sewing machines known, while obviating ail their faults. it at now THE FOLLOWING ADVANTAGES THE AMERICAN Possesses alone and undisturbed, there being other machine eveu pretending them : 1 It has a larger arm ami stronger construc tion than any family machine, mlmitting larger pieces of work, Unis fitting the machine to family anil manufacturing purposes as well, without need of two machines. It 1ms 81x5 inches clear room. 2 It hems any width or thickness, from 1-16 of an inch cambric to 2 inches heaver. 3 It binds a coat, any braid skirt, or binding whatever. hut without 4 It folds up the brim of a hat to any fullness. 5 It overseams a 6heet Brussels carpet. Git makes beautiful eyelet work. 7 It embroiders on tho edge. 8 It makes buttonholes of any size on any material. 0 It has the braiding machine which makes braia of size or color at the rate of 150 yards per hour. Th?« soils for *510 ♦'vtrn 10 It ulways won the first premium at every exhibition in which it has been entered. THE AMERICAN Cun be lmd as a plain sewing machine without the buttonhole and overseaming, at §15 less than the given prices. We want a few reliable agents everywhtre, to whom we will make it an object to sell these popular machines. Machines will be sent to any address on receipt of price. Every machine bus a full outfit for plain sewing, hemming, Ac. Wc simply ask an examination to verify all wc state. STJB-AGENCIES : SritciAi. Aokkt.— G. W. Baker, 220 King St. Wilmington. Clark T. Collins, Townsend, Del. TUAYKLLINO AGENTS ! Daniel Whiting, Wm. W. Lynam, Joshua Brown, Win. T. Gallaher, John Avery, George W. Cravat, James L. Kelley. G. PATEONI, Office and Warerooms, 511 KING STREET WILMINGTON, DELAWARE, June 18—ly Y jsclcrt JoctriJ. BEAUTIFUL CHILD. BY MAJOR WM. A. II. 8IOOURNKY. Beatiful child by thy mother's knee, In the mystic future what wilt thou be? A demon of sin, or an angel sublime— A poison of Upas, or innocent Thyme— A spirit of evil Hashing down With a lurid light of a fiery crown— Or gliding up with a shining track, Like the morning star that ne'er looks hack, Daintiest dreamer that ever smiled, Which wilt thou be, my beautiful child ? Beautiful child in my garden bowers, Friend of the butterflies, birds and flowers, Pure as the sparkling crystalinc stream, Jewels of truth in thy fairy eyes beam, Was there ever a whiter soul than thino Worshipped by L My heart thou hast gladdened for two sweet years With rainbows of Hope through mists of toars— Mists beyond which the sunny smile With its halo of glory beams all the while. Beautiful child, to thy look is given A gleam serene, not of earth, but of heaven, With thy tell-tale eyes and prattling tongue, Would that thou couldst ever be young. Like the liquid strain of tho mocking-bird, From stair to hall thy voice is heard. How oft in the garden nook thou'rt found, With flowers thy curly head around ! And kneeling beside mo with fingers so quaint Oh ! who would not dote on my infant saint? Beautiful child, what thy fate shall bo Perchance is widely hidden from A fallen star thou inay'st leave my side, And of sorrow and shame become the bride. Shivering und quivering through the cold street, With a curse behind and before thy feet— Ashamed to live, and afraid to die; No home, no friend and a pitiless sky. Merciful Father, my brain grows wild, Oh, keep from evil my beautiful child ! Beautiful child, may'st thou soar abovo, A warbling cherub of joy and love, A drop on Eternity's mighty sea, A blossom on Life's immortal tree— Floating, flowering eve In the blessed light, of the golden shore ; And as I gaze on thy sinless bloom And thy radiant face, they dispel my gloom, I feel He will keep tlicc uudcfiled, And IIis love protect my beautiful child. mortal shrine? '0 Select j>torg. THE ROBBER'S HAND. "Let ino see," began Mr. Worden, in response to a request to toll a story, while we were seated around tho stove iu Mills' bar room, eue blustering night last win ter. "Let me see. Twenty-two years ago, I entered the store of Day & Co. as clerk, and twenty-one years ago came the night of the first of February, I had an adveuture which I shall never forget." We drew our benches near tho stove and the retired merchant, whom we know had a good story in store for us. At my side, on the oaken settee, sat a man— judging by bis silvered hair—about five and sixty. He was a traveler, and a straugcr to our entiro party ; and during our conversation previous to the mer chant's narrative, had been taciturn and moody. But when My. Worden began his story his eyes were fixed upon his face. "I was not seventeen," continued tho narrator, " when I became a clerk, and it was a great event in my life. The firm told me that I would have to sleep in the store. I felt proud of being allowed to do so ; it showed that they bad great faith in my honesty. So a loungo was brought in and placed under the counter, and there, after locking tho door, I would lay and dream till daylight. During the first part of the winter of 48 our neighboring county (Herkimer) was infested with a gang of daring rob bers, whose depredations were both bold an alarming. Tho good paoplo beoame excited; and well might they, for the villains scrupled not to take tho life of any one who dared to defend his property. Vigilanco committees wore formed, and tho gang broken up Several of the vill ains were captured, and their cases decid ed by Judge Lynch. Those who osoup. tho committee went into neighboring co: ties, and ours received a few. Du: January several bold robberies were r mitted in Dialton, which threw our zens into the highest state, nf excitomcin but all efforts—and thoso made wore streu ous ones—to catch the robbers were una vailing. Day & Co. during tho excitement, sat back in their easy chairs, laughing at the people's scare. They fancied their store secure, and when I asked to be permitted to keep a gun at my bed-sido, twitted me at what they termed my cowardice. It was not cowardice, boys ; hut I wanted to givo the robbers a bold reception if they paid me a visit. I thought they would not fait to do this, for my employers held in their hands largo sums of money belonging to other people—in short, they were the bankers of the village. The money was enclosed in a safe, which I knew would not resist an experienced bur glar. But they thought the safe seouro, and refused to grant my request. I had made up my mind to arm myself, let the firm call me what it wished. I lived in Montauk then, a few miles from Dialton, and ono Sunday night, tho last of January, when I returned from a visit homo, I brought along an old sabre, which my grandshire had used against Scranton, at Sander's Creek. That Sabbath night, as I well remember, I did not retire until near midnight, for I sat up polishing tho old blado. At last, when the light shin ing upon it blinded me, I put it in the sheath and stood it against the head of the lounge and went to sleep, feeling that I could tfveroome a dozen of the fiercest robbers that ever made woman or ohild tremble at the mention of their deeds. The following morning ushered in the last month of winter, and I forgot to stow the old arm away out of sight of tho firm. When Dewees, the junior partner, stepped behind the counter, my preparations for defence met his gaze. " Well, John," ho cried, seizing the revolutionary rejie, " what in tho world are you going to do with this ?" " I intend to defend the safe and my self against robbers," I answered, blush ing. " I believe you're crazy, John," ho said. "I would like to see you wield that clum sy old thing. Take it home, or sell it as trash. Day and I will have a hearty laugh at your expense." " I do not care for your laugh, Mr. De wees," I answered, " and as for the saber, it shall remain here." " Do ns you please, John; and if you say so, I shall purchase a dozen cemetery lots in which you can inter your dead. But, boy, look at tho doors ; suppose a robber should pick the locks ; tho strong bolts would remain, and ten men could never remove them." " True," I replied, "but breaking bolts is not the work of an experienced robber, lie would cut a hole through the door, in sert his hand, and push back the bolts." "No use to talk to you, John," he said, turning to rearrange some boxes on the shelves, but if a robber should attempt to enter, I'll increase your wages." The old weapon was replaced, and when Day entered, the firm had a hearty laugh at my fears. When night came, I built up a rousing fire, and sought my couch beneath the counter. Outside it was very cold, and the snow was falling in blinding flakes. I assure you I felt comfortable under the additional coverlets Mrs. Day had sent mo that morning. Before I retired I had un sheathed the sabre, so that in case of c mergcncy it might make no unne cessary noise. It must have been near midnight when I awoke. The storm was still raging and tho room retained but a small degree of heat from tho stove. I was about to re plenish the fire, for wo did not want our large stock of ink to freeze, when I heard a noise as though a rat gnawing for dear life. tho noise was at the front and double door. I listened, and soon discovered that I arose and cautiously struck a light and donned my pants and stockings. The lamp I turned low, and grasping tho old saber, approached the door. Sure enough, the noise was on tho out side, and I knew a man was cutting a hole below the strong, largo iron bar. The work accomplished, ho could insert his hand noiselessly, remove the bar and pash the door open. With bated breath and wildly beating heart, I listened to the sawing ; tho saber was poised above my head and alongside the door. Plainer and plainer grew the noise, and at last a circular piece of the door was pushed a little inside ; then I saw two fingers grasp and pull it out. I waited for the insertion of tho hand, for I had determined to sever it with the saber. I had heard no noise outside, and had supposed tho robber was alone. Not long did I wait, however, for the reap pearance of tho hand. It was thrust in, and tho fingers moved toward the bar. I struck with all the strength of my right arm. The robber's hand fell at my feet, and the bloeding stump was quickly with drawn. Then above tho war of the storm, which seemed to increase every moment, I heard words, and a noise, aR if a person was for cing his way through heavy drifts. "I can never use my right hand again," I heard a man groan, might have known that that stripling was armed. Curse my folly !" I picked up tho severed member, and examined it at tho light. It looked as if it belonged to a man in the meridian of lif and tho little finger was encircled by gold ring, with a solitaire diamond It was a right hand, and the tip thumb was missing. I wrapped ud in cotton, laid it in tho desk, .eplenishing the fire, watched the door i, through the fatal opening, I saw limbs bending under their load of snow. I opened the door, but saw no tracks ; it had snowed all night, and covered up all traces of the robber. When Dewees came—ho always reached the store an hour before Day did—I showed him the hole and the hand. Of course he was as tonished. "By George, boy!" he exclaimed, " your fears were not groundleess. You may keep that old sabre till it rusts—and from this hour your wages stand incrcas "Oh, God! I ed. Of course, boys, I was thankful because he knocked under to me and becauso my wages were increased. Great search was made for the robber, bat be was not found, and I remained in possession of tho ring and the hand. .Five years later, I left Dialton, whioh had not been disturbed by robbers sinoc that memorable night. I kept the robber's hand in spirits for near fifteen years, when neglecting it, it spoil ed, nnd I buried it in my lot. " But what did you do with tho ring?" asked the traveler. " Kept it. Nothing could have induc ed me to part with it." . " Would you not return it to the own er ?" " Perhaps he did not oome hy it hon estly—he was a robber, you know." Tho traveler's faoc flushed. " He did, sir," he said. " Wbat do you know about the ring and the robber?" cried Mr. Wortlon. "A good deal. Look there!" and turning up his sleeve, he displayed to our gaze a handless wrist. "Bobber!" cried the ex-merchant and half a dozen of our party. " Yes, sir," said the stranger; "rob ber once, but thank God no longer one. The loss of my right hand reformed me. Oh, never shall I forgot that night—my inarch through the drifts to my compan ions in the suburbs of Dialton ; how I was compelled (to save my life,) to hold snow upon tho stump. While my com panions in crime were binding up the wounded member, I swore by my God, to forsake my calling. I have kept my oath, he went on. "I sought employment when the wound had healed, and, learn ing to use my left hand, I was successful. I have amassed wealth—wealth enough to enable me to spend my remaining days in traveling for pleasure. And uow, my re former," he smiled, " I would ask you to return my ring. Did I come by it dis honestly I would not make the request; but as there is a God, I did not. It was my mother's. Upon her death-bed, one year before I foil into had company, she gave it to me, and told me to wear it al ways. She placed it on my finger and I wore it through all my burglarious opera tions. Give me the ring, sir, and name your price." Mr. Worden raised his hand, and we saw the ring. It was very beautiful, and must have cost not a small amount of money. Tho merchant slowly drew it from his finger, upon which it had glist ened for twenty years, and passed it over to its long lost owner. The stranger drew out a roll of greenbacks. " Keep your money," said Mr. Wor den, " I have enough of them. The re turning of the ring is reparation for the injury I inflicted upon you." "I am sorry, sir, that you will not ac cept tho money," returned tho stranger. "I value this ring above riches. Come, let us bo friends. Excuse my left hand," and laugh in", tho two men grasped hands in a hearty shake. "Now, landlord," he said, " show me my room. I can enjoy sleep to-night, for once again I posesscss that dear old ring. Good night, gentlemen." We never learned his name. a Is any change operated on a man by a change in the velocity of his motion round the axis of the earth? Suppose, for in stance, a dweller in latitude GO degrees were to change his residence to the equa tor, ho would double bis velocity. For while at latitude GO degrees, he travels round with the earth at the rate of 500 miles an hour, at the equator he does 1000 miles an hour. Again, at the latitude 75 degrees, the Greenlander is lazily carried round a paltry 130 miles an hour, while the man at the North Pole calmly revolves about himself once in 24 hours. Of course the motion is unfelt, because all things move together, but the change from a tropical to an Aretic climate is so great that it may possibly produce physical or mental effects of which we are as yet un conscious. "Of course the steering of a ship from north to south must bo sensibly affected by tho constant acceleration from west to east. On the long railways of Russia, too, I believe it is found that rails are uniformly more worn on the ono side than on the other, in consequence of this force. " Fudge." —There was once upon a time a Captain Fudge, who was comman der of a merchantman, and who, upon his return from a voyage, always had big stories to tell, so that now sailors on board ship, when they hear anything told that is hard to believe, say, " You fudge it." This is taken from a pamphlet, published in 1700, called " llemarks upon tho Na vy. How many readers know that tho head of Jackson on the old two-cent postage stamps is a copy from Sully's once famous portrait of the General? And how many will be surprised to hear that this eminent portrait painter is still living in Philadel phia, at No 23 South Fifth street, where he has lived and labored for the past for ty-one years. Though now eighty-seven years old, his step is Arm and his eye un dimmed. Joe Dun was a bailiff* in tho reign of Henry VII, and so successful as a collec tor was he, that when a bad claim was talked of, some one always said, "Why don't you Dun hitn ?" This is the origin of "dunning." How we should liko to see it an obsoleto word by the introduc tion of the cash system. A young lady onee married a man by the name of Dust against the wish of her parents. After a short time they lived unhapily together, and she returned to her father's house, hut ho refused to re ceive her, saying : "Dust thou art, and unto Dust thou shalt return." An exchange saySTthat the reason there arc so many mutton-heads in oxistenoo is to be found in the fact that such a num ber of children are." perfect little lambs." Fashionahlo young ladies are delighted with a new ^song entitled " Father will settle the Bill." Father don't like the song quite so wety - There ie a roinoihb which we turn, Wen the living. ice of tho dead to >m, tho charm of 1 f oetic trifles. A STUDY FOR FOREIGNERS. A pretty deer is dear to me, A hare with downy hair, A hart I love with all my heart, But barely bear a bear. 'Tis plain that To have a pair of pears ; A rake, though, often takes a rake, And teai9 away the tares. All rays raise thyme, time raxes all ; And through the whole, hole wears ; A writ in writing "right," may write It "wright" and still be wrong, •r "write" and "rite" are neither "right," And don't to write belong. Beer often brings a bier to man, Coughing a coflin bring, And too much ale will make us As well as other things. The person lies who says he lies When he is not reclining, And when consumptive folks decline They all decline declining. A quail don't quail before a storm ; A bough will bow before it ; We cannot rein the rain at all ; No earthly powers reign over it. The dyer dyes awhile, then dies, To dye lie's always trying, Until upon his dying bed, He thinks no more of dyeing. one takes a plane F< ail A son of Mars mars man} a sun ; AU deys must have their days, And every knight should pray each night To him who weighs his ways. should mete out meat 'Tis meet that To feed misfortune's son ; The fair should fare on love alone, Else one cannot bo won. A lass, alas ! is sometimes false ; Of faults a maid is made ; Her waist is but a barren waste— Though stayed she is not staid. The springs spring forth every spring, and shoots Shoot forward one and all ; Though summer kills the flowers, it leaves The leaves to fall in the fall. I would a story here commence, But you might find it stale; So let's suppose that we have reachco The tail end of onr tale. DAIUON AND PYTHIAS. About one hundred years before Christ lived Damon and Pythias, Pythagorean Philosophers, who had gone from Athens to Sicily on a pressing invitation of Dion ysius, called the " Tyrant of Syracuse," iu order to teach tho rude inhabitauts of that fertile island the arts and sciences. Palling under the displeasure of tho ty rant, Damon was condemned to death and the time for his execution appointed. An xious to see his wife and children once more before his execution, he asked the King for permission to visit them. King answered: "What assurance do you give me that you will return ?" will give you my friend Pythias," said Da mon " for security." The King asked Pythias if he were willing to become tho bondsman of Damon, aud to die in his place, provided he did not return? "Yea," said Pythias, " I will stand for him, and if he is not hero on the day appointed, I will suffer death in his place ! said the King, "this is strange ; but Da mon you are at liberty to go and visit your family, and if you do uot return, as I sup pose you will not, justice will not lose her victim." Damon hurried home to embrace his family and to communicate to them the sad intelligence that, in a few days, he must return to Syracuse to suffer death. When his wife learned the state of things —that he had violated no law ; that he was condemned by a mere whim of Dion sius, and that his friend, Pythias, had ccomo his bondsman, she insisted upon his not returning. She reasoued with him, and besought him by the affection he bore to her and her children not to return. But all her eutreaties were iu vain. " Would you have me to violate my sa cred pledge of honor to my friend Py thias?" said he. " No, no; I would de spise myself in that caso—but I shall re turn and relieve oua friend and maintain my honor, even at the expense of my own life!" Damon remained at home, as we may imagine, as lung as he could. At length, amid the sobs and tears of his wife and children, he tore himself away from those ho loved. The execution was to take place at noon, and as his progress was im peded by bad roads and high waters, on tbe day appointed he was still twenty miles from Syracuse ; but he roso early in the morning, and as tbe sun was approach ing tho meridian, the spires of the city were in view. Hastening on, he found a large multitude gathered in front of the prison. The tyrant was there, seated on a platform, te witness the novelty of one dying for another! The hour for execu tion had nearly expired. " Ah," says the tyrant, " where is your friend Damon. Did I not tell you that he would not re turn?" "But," says Pythias, " he will return, if he is alive. I know he will not disappoint me. I know him and know he would rather die than break his word." The tyrant then looked at the sun-dial, and it was just noon. " Now, he said to tho executioner, "proceed, laid his head on the block, the axe was raised, and its sharp edgo gleaming in the sunlight. When lo ! there is a movement in the crowd. " Stop," says the tyrant, till we see what this means, stood Damon, panting and covered with dust. He had come in time. The tyrant was so much struck with this proof of friendship, that he pardoned them both, and requested permission to join their fra ternity. It is well known that a popular and widely extended society, the "Knights of Pythias," is founded on this beautiful incident .—Lutheran Obterver. The "I "Well, a a " Pythias There What part of a book is like a fish ? The fin is. and umor. BORROWING CHICKENS. John Boston, a fifteenth amendment, was arrested in New Orleans the other day for btcaling chickens. He was very indignant when arrested, and loudly pro claimed his innocence. When brought before the magistrate he 'still reiterated the fact that he was wrongly accused. t " And you deny having taken tho chickens, John?" asked the Court. " Hi, boss, sartin. I neber tuk urn.** " But tho officer says he found them in your possession." "Sar?" " You had them in your hands when arrested." " Ees sah, boss, but I didn't stole urn." " How did you come by them?" " I borrowed urn." " The owner says not." " Well, you see, boss, he was asleep when I went to borrow dem chickens, an* I didn't like to 'sturb him ; so I jis Ink 'em, an' was gwine back do next day to tell him." Anecdote of Shkkidan.—S heridan once succeeded admirably in entrapping a noisy member who was in the habit of interrupt ing every speaker with cries of " hear, Richard Brinsley took an oppor tunity to allude to a well-known political character of the time, whom he represent ed as a person who wished to play the rogue, but had only sense enough to play the fool. "Where," exclaimed Sheridan, in continuation, and with great emphasis, ' where shall we find a more foolish knave or a more knavish fool than this?" "Hear, hear!" was instantly bellowed from the accustomed bench. The wicked wit bowed, thanked tho gentleman for " his ready reply to the question," and sat down amid convulsions of laughter from all but their unfortunate subject. hear. An applicant for the position of teacher in Kennebec County, Me. on being asked by the town committee, " In what year did Columbus disoover America ?" scratch ed his head and said, "Well Mister, you've get tne now." " Was it before or after the birth of our Saviour?" he was asked. " You've got me again, by thunder," ho said, and the certificate was not given him. " I sympathize sincerely with your grief," said a French lady to a recently widowed frieud. " To lose such a hus band as yours—" " Ah, yes, he was ve ry good ; and then, you seo, such a mis fortune is always great, for one knows what kind of a husband she has lost, but canuot tell what kind of a man one will find to succeed him." An anatomical observer asserted, a few days since, that there were four hundred and cightv-nine thousand eight hundred and ninety-one feathers on the wings of a butterfly. " I don't believe it," said ono of his hearers. " Then count them your self," was the reply. The lawyor is the greatest joiner. He can place a tenant, empanel a jury, box a witness, bore the court, chisel a client, augur the gains, floor a witness, out his board, nail the case, hammer the desk,, file his bill, and shave the community. An erring Indiana hen was recently found in the back part of a hardware store where tho misguided fowl had straggled for three weeks, trying to hatch out half a dozen white porcelain door-knobs. She was very much reduced. An Iowa paper tells of a smart wife that helped her husband to raise seventy acres of wheat. The way she helped him was, to stand in the door and shake a broom at him whenever he sat down to rest Ï A servant who plumed herself on being employed in a "genteel family," was asked a definition of the term. " Where they have two or three kinds of wine, and tho : geutlemen swear," was tho reply. " Why," said Bob Bitters to William Swipes, when he caught him, "I thought you had signed the pledge?" "So I have," said Swipes, " but all ' sigus' fail in dry weather." J A gentleman was asked to give a defi nition of nonsense. " Sir," he replied, " to bolt aj door with a boiled carrot ia nonsense." Why use throo words, "double clog dance," when one, " quotcrpsichoi'auoole gopedalitysion," would do just as well? Mr. Blinks, whose wife presented him with a pair of boys this week, speaks of himself as having been son struck. A widower was recently rejected by a damsel who didn't want affection that had been " warmed over." The man who sat down on a paper of tacks said they reminded him of tho in come tax. The poor arc like carpets—thoy are held down by tax. The petroleum men are great bore«, hat they mean well. '