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« 4 v/i ,a ! » L/î a a v * M a l/!M3S0* : « ♦ U n & NO. 16. MIDDLETOWN, DELAWARE, SATURDAY MORNING, APRIL 17, 1875. VOL. VIII. CORPORATION OFFICERS. Town Commissioners—E. W. Lockwood, President; J. R. Hull, Secretary; L. P. Mc Dowell, J. H. Walker, L. G. Vandegrift. Assessor —C.4$.*3Uf'' Treascrer.— Josftra_ „ ,, Justice or the Peace. —DeW. C. Walker. Constable and Policeman.— R. H. Foster. IjAMPLIOhteb. — F. C. Schreitz. irson. «tison . NOTARY PUBLIC. John A. Reynolds. TRUSTEES OF THE ACADEMY. Hon John P. Cochraa, Pres. ; Henry Davis, Treas. ; Samuel Penington, Secretary ; James Kanely, B. Gibbs, R. T. Cochran, 1 vacancy. Principal op Academy. — L. B. Jones. OFFICERS OF CITIZENS' NATL BANK. Directors. —Henry Claytoo, B. Gibbs, B. T. Bices, John A. Reynolds, James Culbert son, E. C. Feuimofe; M. E. Walker, J. B. Cazier, Joseph Biggs. President. —Henry Clayton. Cashier.— J. R. Hall. Teller. —John S. Crouch. DKUSCÎÔR8 0F TOWN HALLOO. J. M. Cox, Pres.; Samuel Penington, See.; J. R. HaP, Treas ; R. A. Cochran, Jas. Cul bertson, Jas. H. Scowdrick, Wm.H. Barr. * CHURCHES. Forest Presbyterian. —Rev. John Patton, D. D., Pastor. Divine service every Sunday at 18.30 a. m. and 7.00 p.m. Sunday School at« 4*f fadftfo on M SW* m. Sunday School it the Chapel at Arm strong's every Sunday at 2.30 p. m. St. Anne's Protestant Episcopal.— Rev. Wz. C. Butler, Rector. Service on Sundays at 10.30 a. m. Spa^ay School jit 4.00 p. m. Lecture ou Fridays at 4 p.'in. Methodist Epibcopal, —Rev. L. C. Matlack, D. D., Pastor. Service every Sunday at 10.30 a. m. and 7.30 p m. Sunday School at 9.30 Pmver Meeting on P a. in. abd 3.30 p. m. Thursdays at 7.30 p. m Colored Methodist.—R ev. J. W. Brown, Pastor. Service everj other Sunday at 10.30 a. m.; 3 and 8 p. m. Sunday Schoal every Sunday at 1 p. m. MASONIC. Adoniram Chapter No. 5, R. A. M. Meets in Masenie Hall on the second and fourth Fri days of every month at 8 o'clock, p m. Union Lodge No. 5 , A. F. A. M. Meets on the first and third Tuesdays of every month at" 8 o'clock, p. m., Masonic Hall. KNIGHTS OF PYTHIAS. Damon Lodor, No. 12 Meets every Friday evening at 8 o'clock. - Lodge- room in the Town Hall. PATRONS OF HUSBANDRY. Peach Blossom Grange, No. 3. Meets every Tuesday evening at 7 o'elock. Grange Room with Knights of Pythias. I. 0. 0. F. Good Samaritan Lodge, No 9. Meets every Thursday evening at 8 o'clock. Lodge Room in Cochran Hall, No. 2, Cochran Square. BUILDING AND LOAN. Middletown B. & L. Association. —Samuel PeningtoR, Pres.; A. G. Cox, Secretary. Meets on ths first Thursday of every month at 8 o'clock, p.m. Mutual Loan Association of Middletown. • — Jas. H. Scowdrick, Pres.; A. G. Cox, Sec retary. Meets on the third Tuesday ef every moith at 8 o'cleck, p. m. MIDDLETOWN LIBRARY AND READING-BOOM. TTÎ E W. Lockwood, Pres.; J. T. Budd, Sec'y ; Rooms ia Transcript Building. Reading Room open every day until 10 o'clock, p m. Library »pen on Wednesdays and Saturdays fronrs o'clock to 5 p m. AGRICULTURAL ASSOCIATION. Peninb. Agricultural and Pomolooical As sociation. —Charles Beasten, President; J. T. Budd, Secretary ; Wm. R. Cochran, Chairman of Board of Managers. Aniual Meeting third Saturday in Jaaaary. Fair of 1876, October 5, 6, 7 and 8. DIAMOND STATE BRASS BAND Meets for practice every Moaday evening at 8 o'clock. POST OFFICE. Office Hours. —Opens at 6.30 a m and closes at 9 p m every day except Snnday Mails for the North close at 8.45 a m, and 2.15 p m. Mall fotr the South closes at 11 a m. Mails for Odessa close at 11.20 a m and 7.30 p in. Mails for Warwick, Sassalras and Cecilton close at 11.20 am. DELAWARE RAILROAD. Passenger trains going North leave at 9.10 a m and 2 39 p m. ; going South at 11.27 a m and 7.55 p m. Freight trains with passenger ear attaehsd, going North, leave at 5.24. p going Sdutb, at 6.30ii hr. m ; STAGE LINES. Stage for Odessa, with U. S. Mail, leaves shortly after arrival of the 11.27 a m and 7.55 p m mail trains. Stages for Warwick, Sassafras and Cecilton avc shortly after arrival of the 1,1.27 am tr FUBNITUBE. UNDERTAKING. UPHOLSTERING. The undersigned respectfully announces to the citizens of Middletown and vicinity that he has en hand a large and well selected stock of handsome and durable Walnut and Other Furniture, •which he will sell very cheap for cash. Buy ing at wholesale cash rates he feels assured that he can sell at low as the same goods cau be bought elsewhere. By buying of him pur «hasers will be saved the freight on their goods from the city. He is also prepared to attend to • ■ : ui . . > Undertaking Work at short notice, and in a manner excelled by none. Persons wishing Metallic or Wood en Caskets or Cases will find it to their ad vantage to call on him. He has, also, TAYLOR & SOY'S Celebrated Corpse Preserver, ed to The Corpse may be dressed in the finest fab rics and not be soiled, (and can be seen at all times) as nothing but dry cold air enters the Casket. " GHORGB W. WILSON, Practical Cabinet Maker and Undertaker, Febl-12m Middletown Del. PURE OROUND RAW BONE Furnished by car in lots of five tons and upwards, or smaller quantities from store.— Parties ordering early will get all tbe benefits of lowest prices. Also, materials for manu facturing Phosphate always oo hand. Prices west, quality, as goad a9 the : j a ÄoT 1 .^ • A. IaKAtOTUP)} • % Newport, Del. as 1 t best. Att* Feb 13-tjonl. grifft Isctrj. TRAILING ARBUTUS. BV ROSE TERRY. Darling of the forest ! Blossoming alone, When Earth's grief is sorest For her jewels gone— Ere the last snow drift melts Your tender buds have blown, Tinged with color faintly, Like the morning sky,' Or more pale and saintly, Wrapped in leaves ye lie— Even as children sleep In faith's simplicity. There the wild-wood robio Hymns yonr solitude, And the rain comes sobbing Through the budding wood. While the low south wind sighs, But dare not be more rude. Were your pure lips fashioned Out of air and dew : Starlight unimpassioned, Dawn's most tender hue— And scented by the woods That gathered sweets for you. Fairest and most lonely, From the world apart, Made for beauty only, Veiled from Nature's heart, With such unconscious grace As marks the dream of art ! Were not mortal sorrow An immortal shade, Then would I to-morrow Such a flower be made, And live in the dear woods, Where my lost childhood played. FIGHTING WITH POISON. I was spending some days, not many years ago, in a beautiful little country village, and in a family that had more than common attractions to one who loves domestic life as well as myself. The little circle had in it more of real interest than I have often seen develop ed in the same number of persons Toe father of the family—almost too young to feel that he was entitled to that honerable appellation—was a fine frank-hearted young mechanic, with a wide world of life boandiug in his veins; an energy that when fully aroused, drove everything violently be fore him ; and a warmth of disposition that won him more friendship than it had then given him of the goods of this world. His wife, to whom he had been mar ried for four years, was singularly beautiful. They had two children— the one a laughing, brown-eyed and brown-haired little fairy ef three years ; her romantic name was Blossom. The second was a crowing, laughing, blue eyed, plump little beauty of less than a year, promising to have all the charms of the elder at her age. I was sitting one afternoon in a cjniet little room, with my feet on two chairs, reading a pleasant little book, in « 1 te between sleep and awake away at bis shop, a hundred and my pretty little hostess engag. her household labors—when I was thrown eut ef my indolence by a scream that brought me to my feet like an electrio shock. It was a woman's voice, and had in it an excess of agony that can not be indicated by words ; so lond that it rang over that quiet little vil lage, and brought every one forth to ascertain the cause. I sprang to the door that separated the sitting-room from tho dining apart meats, and saw the whole at a glance. The young mother stood at the door, with her first-born—our darlrag Blos som, in her arms, dying ! A brief and hurried word from the servant told the sad story. The little girl had panied a child-uncle up-stairs, and while the attention of the older child was for a moment turned away, she seized a bottle of corrosive sublimate iu alcohol, aud had drtrak enough to have taken away twenty such lives. The little thing had tottered down stairs, and the mother had met her at the land ing with the empty bottle in her hand, and the poison oozing from her mouth —the child ail unconscious of the fear thing she had done. Was it any wonder that a terrible shriek rang out over the quiet village, and that already the occupants of every house near rushing toward the spot where the mother stood ? accom But a few moments could possibly have elapsed since the poison was taken, and yet the effect was already fearful, After the first shriek of terror, the mother bad quieted to a calm despair the moment, and stood with the child in her arms, making no effort for relief, and indeed, it seemed hope less, for already the subtle poison seem diffused through the frame ; The brown eyes had lost their lustre; the was blackened as if after death ; the teeth were tight set in a con volsive spasm that evidently would not away. I examined the little lost darling for a moment, saw that it was hopeless, and then tnrned away unable bear a mother's agony. The little was already half filled with vil lagers; and sobs and moaBS, and lamen tarions ovOr the fate of the dying child, were were heard in every direction, mingled with quick and hurried questions as to the manner of its occurrence, and vain attempts at answering, which added an oppressing confusion to the sadness of the scene. The little playfellow's uncle, who had been up-stairs with the child, had run instantly to call the father, and but a few moments elapsed before he sprang into the middle of the group. He had been told all and asked no questions. I had time to remark that his eye was very stern, and that his lips were very firmly compressed. Others too, re marked it; and I knew afterward, that a murmur ran around the circle of how strange it was that he betrayed no feeling He reached out bis hands and took the child from its mother. Its eyes were now closed, and a white ooze com ing from between the blackened lips. Was ever death more assured ? I saw him open the eyelids, and givp a sigh of relief. He told me afterward that the eye was not sunken, and so death had not begun. He then attempted to open the mouth, but the teeth wer« tight set, and they resisted his efforts. But with a force that seemed almost brutal, he wrenched the teeth apart, and opened the mouth. "Shame!" cried one of the bystand ers. The father did not heed them, but motioned to a neighbor to take the child in bis arms. He did so "Bring me the egg-basket," he spoke very sternly, almost without opening his teeth, to the servant. "What do you want of it ?" "What can you do with it?" "He's crazy," and many such remarks followed, but the basket was there in a moment. He seized one of the eggs, broke it, inserted bis fingers again between the teeth, and wrenched them open by force, though they shut with so convul sive a motion as to tear the flesh from his fingers, and poured the albumen into the throat. There was a slight struggle, nothing more, and the specta tors were horrified at the action. "Don't, the child is dying," said a ; one. "Please don't hurt the little thing— it can't live !" the mother found voice to say, laying her hand upon his arm. "Mary, be still," he answered stern ly, while his teeth were unrelaxing from their clenching, and his face as hard as if be were entering a battle, "and don't any of you meddle with me, keep off !" The bystanders involuntarily obeyed, with many harsh remarks upon his cruelty, but he did not heed them and went on. Another and another egg was broken, and still there was do sign of life. Then the whole bedy of by standers broke out iiito a loud and cries of "The brute!" "He is murmur, "Let the crazy— were child die in peace ! take the child away from him !" heard arouod him l.'e demisted for a moment from bis 'arts, and turned with a fierceness ich had before been foreign to his rare, bnt no one who saw him after ward forgot it. "Fools," he hissed, "mrad your own business and leave to mine ! Take her away, will you? Try it !" .aid he went on emptying egg after egg down the apparently lifeless throat. The mother coaid stand this no longer. Her first-born was being tor tured to death before her eyes, and she imploringly flung herself on her knees before her husband's father, who had that moment arrived. "Oh, father, do stop him!" she grasped; "he will obey yon; do stop him. ohild The grandfather started forward a step to interfere, for he. too, thought the proceeding an outrageous one ; but he stopped and said : "Mary, let him alone. The child will die if he does not go on. It can not do more if he does. I would not say a word to him for the world. The child is his—let him use it at his plea sure." I me He is torturing that poor dying on There was silence then. In a mo- I ment more there was a quiver of the ! eyelids, a convulsive movement of the j chest, and the teeth lost their tension. I The father seized his child, turned her j face downward, and the poison begaD to flow from her mouth. Again, and again as the retching oeased, he re peated the experiment-the life return ing still more, and the face losing its fo black color every instant. More than 0 twenty times albumen had been admin istered, and more than half those times followed by the expulsion of the poison ; when the eyes opened, the father de- t sisted, the little sufferer lay just alive in his arms, exhausted, its little life terribly shattered, but saved/ Then, when the necessity for exer tion and determination was over-when the physician had been summoned, and they knew that darling little Blossom might live, after many weeks of Strug gle between life and death—when the relieved friends had acknowledged that they had wronged him first ; when the beautiful and sorrowful wife bad blessed him through her kisses and tears, and the all knew that, under God, only sneh an u almost fierce determination could have saved the child—then the father sat down, unnerved, and wept like a child. Blossom is alive to-day, and her brown eyes are opening upon woman hood. But there is no hour in my life that brings so thrilling a recollection as that of the young father's struggle for the life of his child—that Fight With Poison which I have only faintly indi cated because beyond description — From Sutton's Leisure, Hour Miscel lany , No. 12. to vain an of had run a had was very re that how no took eyes com lips. saw sigh that to wer« the but it, the by Correspondence of the Donhury News. A Startling Discovery in South America, New Bedford, Mass., Jan. 18, '75. One of the most singular spots in all geography is a rock bound bay recently discovered on the weitern coast of South America. It lies behind two mountains where the sea dashes its tremendous columns agaiDSt the rocks. Few sailors would dream of approaching such a dangerous locality. In fact, it has always been considered absolutely in accessible either by land or sea until the late adventures of Capt. King, who was formerly of Norwalk, Good. He was returning from the North Pacific with a cargo of sperm oil and walrus skins, when a terrible storm struck his ship, 1,500 miles northwest of the Straits of Magellan. For three days and nights the sea was lashed into foam. The wind in its madness swept away the masts and canvass, and drove the ship helpless before it. In their wild desperation the crew threw over board five hundred casks of oil, which lightened the vessel and soothed the waters. This probably kept them from going to the bottom. On the morning of the fifth day a line of precipitous rocks loomed up directly before them, and destruction seemed inevitable. The ghastly whiteDess of the foam, the roar of the sea, and the appalling spectacle at the foot of the rocks, utterly par alyzed the crew. Swiftly and UDcr r'ragly the ship sped on, but at the moment of supreme despair au opening appeared in the cliffs. Into the mouth of this hungry canon the wreck was driven with the speed of the wind. For a few minutes nothing could be seen but darkness, and nothing heard but the thunder of the sea. Suddenly the hulk shot into quiet waters, and a vision of brightness broke on the be wildered mariners. All around them, tremendous heights arose, breaking into lofty spires They were in a mighty amphitheatre, and the only outlet was through the chasm they had entered. Strange to say, the walls of this sea-chamber were of a creamy white, and the pinnacles were like alabaster. They were so high that the sky seemed to rest on them like a dome of pearl. Capt. King says that no mortal man could describe the grandeur of that scene. From ten o'clock iu the morning until three in the afternoon the sun filled the place with its splendor. The water was frightfully deep, but so transparent that the vessel appeared to be floating in mid-air. Far down in the depths were curious formations, and shadowy col umns of coral, and trees with all kinds of strange fishes playing among their branches. as !" his the The moon happened to be full, and when it reached the tops of the cliffs so j as to illumine the water, hundreds of: these fishes came to the surface, and ; some of them sang a few Dotes in a bis his no a me minor key. This may seem fabulous, but there are .standard works on pisci- j oulture in the Aster Library that cite the best authorities on this subject, and they affirm that fishes do sing in the tropics. The old Greek and Roman historians give minute accounts of ex- j periments with different kinds of fishes, j and they not only prove that they sing, j but that they whistle on nights when : the moon is full. After a few days of rest, Capt. King aud crew took a small ! boat and set out to explore the farther shore of this enchanting bay. j After rowing rapidly for an hour they came to a place where the walls receded, leaving a strip of land covered with trees of a peculiar color. Sud denly, in rounding a point, they came on a small, antique vessel in full sail. I ! j I j P^ ad Their amazement was complete they fo un d a city their surprise could * not have been greater. . Approaching, they sang out. Pro fo ng ed and fantastic echoes were the . 0 nly rcp l y . Then they boarded her. Ghostly looking sailors were seen, but they neither moved nor spoke. The ; man at the helm looked vacantly into i t b e air. Awe-struck and trembling Capt King raised his hand to the pilot's face. It was cold. It was stone. ° His garments were stone. The Cap tain struck the deck with his heel. It was like adamant. Then the truth flashed upon him. The ship was petri fied ; indeed thé sails and the flags were films of frosted stone. As the hatches were open, the sailors entered, They entered a cavern, a sepulcher, a tomb! The floor, the ceiling, the de (forations, the carpets, and the laces of the commander's cabin were also stone, Even the iron and brass work was covered with a transparent coating of silicate. Magnificent looking men, clad in the garments ef the fifteenth century, were found in various parts of the ship. In an apartment more elegant than the others, was a young woman, and although a marble mummy, her beauty was enough to, melt the heart of Se crates. The rough sailors uncovered their heads and stood in silent adora tion before her. The vessel's papers were found, but could not bo opened. Enough, however, was disclosed tff show that the ship belonged to one of the early Spanish fleets. Her name was "The Eldorado, come to the new world in search of gold. They evidently had entered the bay in fair weather, for the sails were set, and the pilot was at the wheel. An atmosphere of drowsiness had set tled on them, and by some phenomenon in nature, they had become petrified while in their sleep of death. Capt. King and his men re-entered their boat and landed on the shore by the woods. Here were fresh marvels The trees and shrubs were also petri fied. Rare and delicate flowers covered the ground. But no perfame exhaled from their blossoms. They were like glass and porcelain of every color, and as beautiful as the gems of Aladdin's palace. As the explorers were about enter ing the stone forest, a peculiar feeling suddenly came over them, and for the first time they observed that a delicate mist filled the air. With a cry .of terror they rushed to the boats and rowed hack to the ship. Two life-boats were manned, and some instruments and provisions hastily thrown in. All hands then started for the entrance, determined to force their way out. The storm had subsided two days be fore, but the sea was still raging near the rocks. The spray dashed over them many times, and once they despaired of their lives, trat after a long struggle with the waves they reached the »pen sea, nearly exhausted. It was many hours before the awful roar of the surf faded from their ears. The crew had The effects of the petrifying mist which had filled their lungs in the bay proved nearly fatal. Each day they grew drowsier, and at last their limbs would scarcely move. Fortunately they were able to reach the track of the whaling vessels, where they were soon picked up. During the voyage, and long after reaching New Bedford, the unfortunate sailors could not walk, and until last mooth they complained of stiffness in their joints. It is probable that their narrative would never have been believed, bad not Capt. KiDg wisely brought away one of the lady's arms and the ship's papers. If any doubt existed cd beholding the former, the recent experiments of Prof. Haddox, of New Haven, have convinced the most skeptical of the truth of the Captain's story. Two months ago the Professor began a series of experiments, and after many discouraging failures, he finally dis covered a process by which petrifactions could be reduced to a liquid. Then he immersed the ship's papers iu a chemi cal solution, and, marvelous to relate, the stony coatiBg was dissolved in a single night. The Dcxt day the docu ments were copied and translated by a Spanish expert, Space alone prevents a transcript of (be ] 0 g f r om appearing in these col unans ; but the curious will be pleased i earn that the name of the unfortu nate commander was Don Ferdinand Gonzales, and that the lady, who bis betrothed, bore the name of Isabella jyiaria de Garcia. They were bound f or t be coast of Peru, when they enter ed the fatal bay for fresh water, was As soon as Capt. King heard of p ro f. Haddox's success with his ex periments, it occurred to him that the liquid might benefit his men. So be scn t for some, and since taking it, they bave found new life, while the Captain saya that he has recovered all the buoy ancy of bis youth. A company of scientific gentlemen propose to visit the bay un der guidance of Capt. King, and with this solution they hope to restore the rare and curious articles on the ship The bodies will be brought away, XT . 6 3 ' .7 ^ T" ü T ./ he,D ' ^ T ^ pr ° faDed by the * X ' * ° maD , 1 "v* 77 *" 7 " hlbl T i" , ^ f* 76 " , Th * fir8t an< * thl ^ fi nge« °! her hand T* °™ amen ^ Wlth coat, y nng8 ' covered Wlth Spanish gems. One f them . b ®!? exqulslt ® tra 0' D g 8 . I ' epre - ■• nt ' ng inodents rathe Moorish wars , raD8 * , e ac ■ 1 ( . - ada v ery much like fietton.] | A lady was on the deck of a ship j when there was a slight mutiny, and ; C the ringleader was cutover the head ' by the captain. On recovering from a fit of sea sickness, a D d coming on deck, j she saw this very sailor at the wheel, | and going up to him, asked, "How is yonr head now ?" "West and by north, ma'am," was the answer. of tff of of humorous. Very Unaccommodating. The other day a man named Brown was picked up in the street in our town, says Max Adeler, apparently dead. Barney Maginn, our coroner, summon ed a jury in hot haste, and in a few moments obtained a verdict that "the deceased, Thomas BrowD, came to his death from apoplexy.' afterward, however, Mr. Brown began to revive, and soon he was as well as About an hour He was subject to cataleptic fits, The eoro ever. and this was one of them. ner heard of Brown's return to life just after he had collected his fees, and he called on Brown. The following con versation ensued : Coroner.—"Do you have these fits often Mr. Brown ?" Brown—"Quite frequently." Coroner—"And you always appear te be perfectly dead ?" Brown—"I believe so." Coroner—"Well, Mr. Brown, I want to make you an offer. Things are dull 'round here now. Nobody drop pin' off suddenly; nobody gettin' stab bed, or drinkiu' pisin. It's rough on me. I don't scare up a fee once a month. I don't, 'pon my soul. Now s'posen' you and me were to strike up a little kind of au arrangement by which whenever you have a fit we'd let on you were dead, and I'd set on you and hold an inquest. I'd go half and half with you on the profits." Brown—"Can't say that it strikes me favorably, Mr. Maginn " Coroner.—"It'll be clear gain for you. I might get a couple of hundred inquests a year out of a man like you. There's money in it. It's the most beautiful idea I ever heard of. I'll treat you right if you'll go in. Seems to me it's a splendid opening for you." Brown.—"I believe I won't Mr. Maginn." Coroner.—"Not as a personal favor to me? Not to accommodate a friend who is hard up? Think of the profit Why, I'll guarantee you four hundred dollars a year. It's a big thing." Brown.—"I don't like it." Coroner.—"Come now I'll go you thirds, and you cau have two fits a day if you want to." Brown.—"Can't do it, I tell you." Coroner.—"Well, look a here ! I'll fix you. You mind me. You're legally dead anyhow The law aaya you're a corpse. I've had one inquest on you, and if the community had its rights you'd a been chucked into a sepulcher ten hours ago. Now if you don't come into this thing bust me open if I don't keep you from votin' at the next elec tion upon the ground that in the eye of the law you're a dead man. I will, by George; and if there's any justice in this land, I'll ram you into a hole in the cemetery anyhow, or my name's not Barney Maginn." Then the coroner withdrew. Brown is now canvassing for a life insurance company, and Mr. Maginn is waiting grimly for eleetion day. t A Remarkable Steategist.-I drop ped iu at the grocery store a few nights ago, and found old Cropper sit ting with his feet on the stove talking to a circle of friends. He said: You didn't know I fit in the war? Well, sir, I had a splendid company; and I was the most popular captain as ever went from any eounty. All the women wanted their husbands and sons to go with me. They knowed as I wus a strategist. I didn't skeet 'round after fightin' men when I wus recruitin'. I hunted up fellers that had long legs, fellers that could run. What was the result? Whenever there was a fight other companies would go in and after awhile come out all cut to pieces. But I pledge you my woad of honor that I never got into a fight all through the war that I didn't bring out one-third more men than I took in ! I ought to 've bin a brigadier-general. I could bave doubled the army after a battle or two. Dumbfounding Impudence. —A resi dent of the 6th ward has been missrag wood from his pile for several weeks past, and the other night he watched and caught a negro loading up a big armful. Springing ont, he cried: "Ah! ha! I've'cought you, have ^ ^ . shantv over dar and I don't Me d.re hli/ono bit Ï beïi.v.de 'd steal weod quicker'n lightning, and I C um over to warn ye. If ye miss any wood don't say I didn't tell ye what kind of folk* dose are." And he walked away leaving the man dumbfounded. ' * I?" "Is dat you?" asked the negro a* he dropped the wood. "Yes, this is I, and I want to know what you are doing here." "Doin' heah?" "Yes, sir." " You see dis yere wood-pile, don't you?" inquired the darkey. "Yes I do." New Bedford has bnt one whaler left —a school-master. Slow Fay, and the Results. Many farmers are "slow pay" from an idea that if men get their board and lodging they ought to be content, and think it half a favor to pay at all. "The idea," says Mr. S., "of a fellow's being in such a burry for his wages, when he knows it is safe, and he will get it all some time." But is this a fair view ? Suppose you bad to pay in advance, how would you like your em ployee to work only a few days at a time, simply coming to make up his month some time ? But the case is the reverse ; you obtain the work in ad vance, and when it has been done—a month's work in a month's time—is it right to take three months to pay him in ? It is very apt to make a man lose interest in his work, and confidence in you, for the man will argue: If the boss cannot pay me now, when he owes me a little, is he likely to pay when he owes more ? As the debt increases, so does the feeling, and the man becomes lazy and indifferent, often insolent— three things no one ought to put up with, but the Blow pay is often helpless, for probably he has no easy method of raising the sum he ewes. No one who has net tried can tell how quickly even ten dollars a month amounts up if it is let lie. . a ger at Brown town, dead. few "the his began as hour fits, eoro just he con fits I are drop stab on a Now a you hold with for you. most I'll Mr. you day I'll a of by in in Some formers don't pay, for fear of their help leaving them.. This is not only unjust te the help, but hurtful to those who do it. If a man wants to go, let him ; it may troubla yon some what at the time, bnt he is apt to give more trouble if he stays against his will. The excuse of being too poor to pay np is contemptible. If yon have not the money and do not expect te have it, don't hire BBy men. Slow payment is an excellent incentive to dishonesty. A man works, not only for his board, but for money to supply him a thou sand little things. If he has not cash for these, and you won't give it when he wants it—ten to one a good many vegetables, some fruit and an occasional fowl will go, and not into yonr pocket, and I do not suppose your man to be very bad, but simply of the common t run. Never let a man ask for his money ; the day his time is up, hand him bis pay. If he is a good workman, add a few words of praise—it won't hurt him. If he ia good-for-nothing—kindly show him the gate. Words of Wisdom. It is hard for an empty bag to stand upright. The ascents of honor, however steep, never appear inaccessible. .A man is successful when he makes life give him what he wants. All severity which does not tend to increase good or prevent evil is idle. The greatest misfortune of all is in Dot being able to bear misfortune. Life is a great poem; and religion, love and musie are the aweetest of its stanzas. To feel the want of reason is next to having it; an idiot ia not capable of this sensation. Grind while the wind is foir, and if you neglect, do not ccmplaio of God's providence. Â tide that leaves large vessels aground may rise high enough to set smaller ones afloat. Let friendship creep gently to a height; if it rush te it, it may soon run itself out breath. I am no herald to inquire of men's pedigrees ; it is sufficient for me to know their virtues. Greatness stands upon a precipice, and if prosperity carries -a man ever so little overalls poise it overbears and dashes him te pieces. Never set your feet in a dirty and crooked path for the love of money. It is a work that will bring bad interest if you wish to suck honey of thistles. Conscience is a sleeping giant. We may lull him into a longer or a shorter slumber, but his starts are frightful, and terrible is the hour when he awakes. There is something very sublime though very fanciful, in Plato's des cription of the Supreme Being, that "truth is His body, and light His shadow." Man is physically as well as meta physically a thing of shreds and patches, borrowed unequally from good and bad ancestors, and a misfit from the start. she "a he ing ed a a boat the who other he, leave as a I I I to or if poet "Let but now, man's ers man of him, wet dry." A patron of a certain newspaper once said to the publisher : "Mr. Printer, bow is it you never call on me for pay for your paper?" "Oh," said the man of types, never ask a gentleman for money. "Indeed," replied the patron, "how do you manage to get along if they don't pay you ?" "Why," said the editor, "after a certain time we conolnde that he is not a gentleman, and we ask him." "Oh—yes—I see Mr. Editer, please give me a receipt," and hands him a "Make my name all right on yonr 99 - • --- — \ Uncle.—"How did the mother of Moses hide him?" Nieee.—*<With a stick" "we the being about like? a he plied er Y. hooks. toutes. A man is successful when he makes life give him what he wants. A puppy and an accordéon irere the marriage fee offered to a Cedar Springs clergyman the other day. Wisconsin has appointed a State geologist, with the understanding that he shall find gold in some portion of the State. The new soldiers' bounty in the United States is 8.33 a month, and no agent can charge more than a ten dol lar bill for collecting it. In Illinois the wages of female teach ers have risen seventy-four per cent, in fifteen years, the wages of male only sixty-three per cent. Â Boston paper has found a loyal Indian who does not steal or drink whiskey. He is at present occupying a position in front Of a cigar store. It is hard to lose friend after friend, to see them slipping from you one by one, but it » still harder to find a towel with your eyes full of soap. It is estimated that Chicago will handle a hundred million bushels of grain this year. Last year the quantity handled was nearly ninety-six millions. A olergyman at Taunton, Mass.* lately asked his parishioners to rednoe his pay, as many members of his church had lately suffered a reduction in theirs. A candidate for county elerk in Texas offered to register marriages for nothing. His opponent, undismayed, promised to do the same, and throw a eradle in. "Sweet are the uses of adversity, remarked Johnny, as his mother gave him a lump ef sugar candy, to compen sate for a foil down the cellar stairs. The man who failed to "put in an appearance" was a conscientious man. He remembered the proverb . which teaches that 'appearances are deceitful.' A physiognomist was expiating on the meaning of the chin, when a lady remarked, "I knew what one kind of chin—the ur-ohin—always means, *nd that is misohief." "What time is it ?" asked one passen ger ef another in a Detroit depot the other day. "Ten minutes te wait/' was the answer, as the man looked up at the time-table. 99 Habits are costly things. Of the ^34,000,000 which the new United States tax bill ia dkpeoted to bring in, twelve will come from whiskey, and six from tobaceo and cigars. "Where a woman," says Mrs. Part ington, "has been married with a con gealing heart, and one that beata des ponding to her own, she will never want to enter the maritime state again." "Why, George! are yon smoking ?" exclaimed an amazed mother, who came upon her little son as he was puffing away at a oigar. only keeping it lighted for another boy." No, mama ! I'm A young lady in Nerth Carolina re quested to be releesed from her merriage engagement on the grouud that when she contrasted it she believed her lover "a duck," bnt has since found him to he "a goose." Some eingers at a concert were some what startled the other evening by find ing that the selection, "When wearied wretches sink to sleep," had been print ed on the programme, "When married wretches," &o. "Do you belong to this beat ?" said a passenger on a Mississippi steamer to a rough looking old man." "No, the boat belongs to me !" qqjetly responded the stranger ; and so it did, and several other steamboats also. Said a charitable lady to a small bey who she found crying in the street the other day, "Will you leave off crying I give you a penny ?" "No/ said he, "but if you'll make it tuppenoe I'll leave off if it kills me." if Says a Connecticut editor : A young poet sends in • contribution entiled "Let us Love.' We will do our best, but we have been married four years now, and are a little out of practice. A young lady having read about a man's having invented a stove which consumed its own smoke, hopes he will devise a method whereby tobacco smok ers can be run on the same economical principle. An Irish boy having,driven a gentle man a long stage ride through torrents of rain, the gentleman civilly said to him, "Paddy, are you not very wet? "Arrah, I don't care about being very wet : but, plaze yer honor, I'm very dry." An Irish gentiessan was relating in company that he saw a terrible wind the other night. "Saw a wind !" said another ; being seen. Bnt pray what was it "Like to have blown my house about my ears," replied the first. "It seems to ms I bave seen "I never hoard of a wind like? your physiognomy somewhere before," said New York swell to a stranger whom he met the other day ; "but I cannot imagine where." "Very likely," re plied the other ; "I have been the keep er of a prison for the last twenty years.'