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v " " A , . ' '' -? A CHAMBERED NAUTILUS. This is the ship of pearl, which, poet3 feign. Sails the unshadowed main? The venturous bark that flings On the sweet summer winds its purpled wings In gulfs enchanted wher? the siren sings, And coral reefs lie bare, Where the cold sea maids rise to sun their streaming hair. Its webs of livins* ganze no more unfurl; Wrecked in the ship of pearl! And every chambered cell, Where its dim, dreaming life was wont to dwell, At the frail tenant shaped his growing shell, Before thee lies revealed? Its irlsed ceiling rent, its sunless crypt unsealed. Year after year beheld the silent toil That spread bis lustrous coil; Still, as the spiral grew, He left the past year's dwelling for the new. Stole with soft step its shining archway through. Built up its idle door, Stretched in his last-found home, and knew the old no more. Thanks for the heavenly message brought by thee. Child of the wandering sea, Cast from her lap forlorn! From thy dead lips a clearer note is born Than ever Triton blew from wreathed horn! While on mine ear it rings, Through the deep eaves of thought I hear a voice that sings: Build thee more stately mansious, O my soul, As the swift seasons roll! Leave thy low vaulted past! Let each new temple, nobler than the last. Shut thee from heaven with a dome more vass, Tili thou at length art free, L:aving thine outgrown shell by life's unresting sea! ?Oliver Wendell Holmes. t THE OLD SOFA. BY CAROLINE F. FRESTOX. "George," said Mrs. Eall, as they were in their pleasant sitting-room one ( evening. "I whs never so much ashamed i in my life as 1 was to-day." 44. eally," answered her husband, j smiling, 4'it must have been a serious mutter. What was itf" 4,V\ by, I called at Mrs. Savary's yesterday, an J she showed :ne hur panor en- i tirely new furnished." 44io you were ash med of that, were , you-" "Come now, you are laughing at me," i said his wife, poutiug. 44I won't say ! another word." if you don't" said her husband in a mocking, tragic tone, 44i shall never re- ; <> cover from the blow." You are incorrigible: but if you had onlv waited a moment, i would have : to!d you what it was that I was asha ned of. Airs. Savary had au elegant sof.;! you can't think how it set olf the room. ane ioiu ine mar 11 ene couia only nave . one decent article of furniture in the room, it should be the sofa. "And you were ashamed of her remark ?'? l Of course not." 1 "Then I am still in the dark." i "Why, it made me thiuk of our old- i fashioned sofa, and what a contrast it ! < Was to the one at 3,'rs. Savary's " j l "^o it might be, if it we. e in the same ] toom with it; but you know it is not. 11 am sure'it is comfortable enough." "So would a feather-bed be," retorted : i lis w:fe; "but I suppose you would not' be in favor of putting one in the parlor. ; i But I was going to tell you that .to-day ] Mrs. biivary culled upon me, aud of 1 course 1 invited her into the parlor. Vou 1 ought to have seen the glance she cast on s our old sofa. " < "But, as 1 didn't see it, suppose you ] describe it to uu." , I "Of course, she co.:ld not help regard- i ' ing it as veiy shabby, though she d;d not 1 jay so, for lear of hurting my feelings." "And that made you ashamed?" "i fcour.se it did. 1 d?n't believe ] there's a family in town th.it has got > such ti wretched looking article of furniture." il "I believe it is whole, is it not?" I < "Yes." . "The only objection you h ive to urge, i theu, is that it is old- ashioued." 11 "Isn't that enough?" "You know," said the young hus- i 4, band, gravely, "that I have special reason to value th it sofa. Jt was my mother's, and some of my hippiest recol aiu tuiiut UiUU Willi 11.' "Well, there's .10 objectiou to keeping it. Ue could puL it in our chauioer, ' and buy a new one for the parlor. I saw a beautiful sofa to day at Whitunrsh's? cost only fifty dollars. I couldn't help thinking how ranch it would set oil our < parlor. It would give a certain style to i it that it hasn't now.' i iity dollars would be a large sum for < me, Mary." ] "Why, 1 am sure you have a salary of j eight hundred dollars." i "\ erv true, but it has to be spent in a i great ninny di erent ways." I "But it only cost us six hundred last year." 1 "That is because we were very eco- i v~.. i M ? . . . uuuiivau i'iu rwuu* it WUS OUT &:UDl- J tion, or mine, at least, to save up some- < thing against a rainy day. I may be sick, i or a hundred things i: ay happen. I < shall grow old at any rate." , "But you know, George, it onlv costs < fifty dol ars. You could still save one 1 hundred and fifty. it'sa good thing to i save money, I know, and I am as much in favor of it as you are; but one likes to enjoy life as they go aloDg and not : deprive themselves of its necessary comforts just for the sake of faving." 1 'So you look on the new sofa in the i light of a necessary comfort, do you?'' asked George, smiling. "Yes." said his wife ingeniously, "because it is necessary to my comfort. ; Besides, we can easily save the amouut . out of our ordinary expenses, and save up as much as we did last year." Of this George was not fairly convinced, but he saw that his wife laid it very much to heart, and finally conseutcd to go ovor to the furniture wareroosn the next day, and look at the coveted article. JIss. Hall's eyes sparkled as he made this conclusion. She knew that, having gone thus lar, he would without much dilH<u!ty be prevailed upon to purchase the sofa. George hail hitherto proved a very indul^eiit hu?l>ind, but his indulgence, ti;us far. had not. been severely taxed until hi* wife n>a;l<* ti-acquaintance of Mrs. Savary, a woman of large pretensions, whose highest ambition was to make a show. Her influence was beginning to be perceptible on heryoun? friend, who was easily ira-, pressed by others. To return to our story. The next day Mrs. Hall, accompanied by her husband, isited the furniture warehouse, and de ired to be shown the sofa. It was rea:ly a handsome article, as Geonre would readily have admitted, even if he had not been volubly assured of the fact' ?first by his wife, and secondly by the j clerk, who expatiated enthusiastically ' upon its merits. i i $ V <-+- ' ' . ^ .1 , CRi l * , ^ 4 . . ' \ : * . ' "I am afraid," said George, wavering, "it won't correspond wi'-h the rest ol the furniture." "No danger of that," said his wife, "it will set off the rest, and maketheiE all look handsomer." "It may be so," said George, doubtfully. "I suppose you know bettei about such things than I do. If yo^ are desirous of having it I suppose ] can buy it." "O, George, if you only will, it wil be such a comfort." ''Then," said her husband, turning tc the clerk, ''you may send it to mj hou-e." "It shall be done this forenoon." The young husband took tive-ten dollar bills from his pocket, and paic them over for the sofa. "This is the money," said he, as hi -?va3 waikinghome, "that I was going t< put into the Savings Bank. You knov that this is quarter day, and for the las four years I have put in this amount Now, in consequence of our new pur chase, I shall not be able to." "It is only for once." said his wife "and then only consider how mucl better our parlor will look." Was it only for oncef Time woul< show. When that 3ofa came home, and wa installed in the p'ace of honor, the old fashioned sofa was removed to ! chamber. Somehow it did not seem t< set olf the room as much as it was ex peeled to. It looked out of place, a Mrs. Hall could not help confessing t< herself, though she was not dispo-ed t< speak of it. "The plain but neat Kidder minister carpet looked decidedly i heaj in comparison with it. However, Mrs, Ilall resolutely shut her eyes to this un pleisant fact, and continued enthusias tioally to expatiate in praises of the new sofa. She could not be contented unti Mrs. Salary had called and expressed her opinion of it. This happened be fore long. "My dear,"' said that lady, taking? critical survey of the apartunent, "youi sofa is a handsome one, I acknowledge, but will you pardon my sugges ting on< tn.r.gr ' Certainly, Mrs. favary." "Then, allow me to suggest that i dark Brussels carpet is necessary to hav< it show to good advantage. Now this Kiddermiuster, I dare say. is a to'erabh good one, but it couldn't have cost mor< than a dollar a yard." 'Only eighty-seven cents," said Mrs, Hall, a iittie confused. ".So I supposed. Well, you see, i carpet at eighty-seven cents a yarc doe-n't correspond very well with a tiftj dollar sofa. To tell the plain truth, tht old-fa^honed sofa looked more approprate." Mrs. Hall almost wished that she hac never bought the new ?of'a: but having done so, ."-he was determ ned, if possible, to have everything to correspond. Sh< was too wise to say anything about it at present, but waited until a week befon the next quarter-day. Then she be.iian to indulge in brie! hints, which at last be: amc more decided. At first (George would not heai of a new carpet. lie was determined nol to omit his u<ual quarterly deposit thif tini"; but, at length, his wife's importu nities succeeded, aided by a lurking conviction on his own part that there was ? real incongruity between the sofa and the plain carpet. The new purchase cost fifty dollars and a trifle more, whicl miiHo (lonrorn !rv>lr a 1 ittle snliftr: but h( could not deny, as his wife said, thai the room looked a good deal improved. And was this all? By no means. By the time the carpet wa? put down, it was discovered that the chairs, whict were only cane-seated, looked quite inferior to the good company which ti-.id recently been introduced. Wher the next quarter-day arrived, it was found absolutely essential to purchase some black stuffed chairs. Afterwards r:ame a new mirror, and a piano was hired,for even Mrs. Hall did not venture to suggest so large nn outlay as the purchase would require. So the piano was brought, and some fifty dollars a yeai were s>aid for its use, though, by the wav. it was never used, since Mrs. Hall had no ear for music, and, thereforef it 5er. ed onl v for ornament. By the time the year was up, George found that two hundred and twenty-live dollars had been >|cnt for furniture, and not one cent had been deposited in the Savings Bauk. .More than that, as l1 _ ' .. ..l _ _ r l ? v _ i J cueir biviu 01 uvir g na i increa-uu witu their new furniture, which had unconsciously elevated their ideas, reorge found himself some two hunded and fifty do lars in debt. At this time, 01 ju^r. l?:*fore. the great commercial revulsion had swept over the land, and (icorge's employers had not been spared. They hud not failed, but their resources had bee-i greatly crippled. They called him aside on the la-it day of the year and told h:m. that, though they should b( Lriad to retain lim in their employ, thej should be obliged to cut down his income for the year to come to six hund:?d dollars. He went home much depressed, as well he might be. His expenses increased, his income diminished, and a debt to pay, which would swallow un m arly all he had laid aside in the Savings Hank. He at !e irtli told his wife the cause of his despondency, on her anxious solicitation. The vanity and love of show she had exhibited, lay oa the surface, bhe determined to express her sympathy in *n active way. What that was, I will explain. \trt /? T. ~ 4-"U ?r ueu vcorge came iiunit; iruc uexi jvening to tea, wh'it whs his astonishment to find a load of furniture before bis door. "Ian it bo possible," he thought, "that Mary has been purchasing new furniture Looking more ciosely, he observed that the uew parlor sofa and other articles of fu-niture wre included in the wagon-load. Full of amazement, he entered the hou?e. " What's all this, Marv? What have you done with the parloi furniture?" ' Sold it," said his wife composedly. "Sold it!" exclaimed George in sur prise. "Yes; I knew (hat your circumstances were not as gocd as they have been, and I tho :ght the money would be wortl more to us than the furniture. I hac heard that the Walkins were about tc furnish their house, and thought the] miuht be willing to buy our furniture a a reduced price. Here is what I got fo; it." She placed in her husband's hands i purse containing one hundred and lift; dollars. said he, with emotion, "yoi don't know how you have relieved m; mind. This will just pay off our debt and I shall not be obliged to take th money from the bank." The year passed. Again business ha revived, and with the first of January 183-3, George had his salary raised to on thousand dollars; but though his mean are increased, his wife has learned valuable lesson, and probably will b content, for some years to come, at least with the Old Fashioned Sofa.?yar lite Blade. A heat ot 230 degrees is insufficient ti kill disease germs, , ALGIERS. A LAND THAT WAS ONCE J 1 PIRATE'S PARADISE. 1 The Country Under the Reign c ^ Freebooters of t he Sea?Picturesque Old Algiers?Quaint I and Odd Structures. > | To read of that distant but interes' f , ing country, Algiers, a3 it is to-day, an ! compare it with the condition of le: j than a hundred years ago, shows coi * j trasts that are extraordinary. The ol I saw, "History repeats itself," seems t I reveal a deflection in this instance i 3 least, for it would be hard to iiud in tb } present life any suggestion of the past. ' j When looking over Algiers now froi t j its delightful suburbs, and seeing steau: ! ers and pleasure yachts from all'parts c *, the world anchored peacefully in tfc harbor, while the blue Alediterranea .; beyond is dotted with the me.chai: II ships of all nations, it is not easy to rea j ize that only a few years ago the lan 1 ! was ruled by pirates, with the onl | American or English residents Christin s captives. From the surrouuding heights | now so attractive to visitor?, the mui i j derous natives watched the spreadin J . sea for prey, their victims either put t I death or thrown into slavery. s: The h story of Algiers in a nutshe > ! comes in appropriately at this poinl > ' After the l<oman civil war Algeria be - | came a lloman province and was ea > ' ceedingly piosperous. Agriculture wa j encouraged, commerce extended, town - : sprang up and Christianity flourished j During the fifth century the Koman ' were conquered by the Vandals, su( 1 ; ceeding which the land was the suene t I | almost constant strife and changes u i rule. The consequence was that in th ! seventh century the people had sun i j into barbarism. There was but littl r j change until in 15US), when Ferdinand : King of ^pain, made himself master. I 5 11510 he died, and Auich Barossa, ~ -?i? notorious xurKisn piraic, uj u^ut. and force, acquired the rule and intrc i duccd the system of piracy, that ws J continued to as late a date as 18;tt ' j Barossa was taken prisoner and beheade f ; bv'the Spaniards whiie in the glory c 5 j his reign, but his successor^ perpetuate ! his methods and extended their piratic; . I enterprises. j Among other things the port of Ai i j giers was protected by a mole that too I I o0,OOO Christian slaves three year3 t r j construct. J j Outrages of all kinds were carried o j until the Algerian pirates were feared b ; all the maritime Powers. Mattel I ; tinally came to such a pass that in In] r> 1 the French began a war on a big scali i ! and, on July 4, Algiers surrenderee 5 ! But the French were not allowed to r< ; j main undisturbed, war and mnssaci 5 : being waged against them by ho>til j triues uutil 18?1, when there was a f : armistice agreed upon, military rul J withdrawn and a civil government es " . tablished. Since then peace has pn t ' vailed and the advance has been rapid. ? I The horrors of pirate rule have bee I swept away. The slave prisons an gates where the heads of muraere 1 Christians were dispiayed have been r< I moved. The palace of the pirate Kin * is occupied by the French Governo: 1 General, and military bands play f( 5 balls and receptions by the Europear ' in the halls formerly held by meroilei cut-throats. Modern streets and bouli I vards are crowding out the old town, j The sea is circled by tramways, cat ; and omnibuses rattle aiong, and throng t : of Europeans bent on business an ; pleasure iill the walks. But while th new order of life is in the supremacy much of the picturesque of old Algie; j remains, and the Moors are no: lost sigl of, although outnumbered. In the ol J town silence and mystery reign. Tho nnixps are hi^h and windowles: I AMV ?" o ' the streets mere alleys, so narrow tlu j the eaves of the houses meet overh>ai i and so dark in places that a straug< ' feels uncertain as to his steps. Yeile ' i women and turbaned men pass to an ^ j fro. Fromentii, the artist and write < j says the "dirt of the Arabs has a dignit : of its own ; th-ir beggars are epj J poems?half I.azarns, haif Job. The ! j arc grave, but cau be violent; but ncv< j stupid, never coarse." - j .Such are the people seen to day in ol j Algiers. They sit cross-legged in littl 1 i shops, look from the high roofs on tl j sea, theirs no longer; are met outsid 1 i the city on little donkeys or gav] j trapped ho; ses, crowded on platforms < " the horse cars running to Mustapha, tak j seats on the top of busses going to He ! i kudeen and other inland towns. Brie i j brae venders have places among the te; 1 j rac and garden walks, spreading en j broitler es from Tunis, carpets from '/.m I ' zibar, brass pots from Lamascus, an ! j almost endless variety of products ovc ' the path. With apparent indillerenc they smoke a cigarette while the collet | tiou is looked through, never relaxin I their imperturbable gravity. j The terraces, that are a particularl | pleasant fe -t tre of the place, are chiell ' I given to villa bfe. They are sunny au ? j l'rom them exquisite views are possible The houses are often too cool und dnr ? ! for comfort, and so the sunny terraces i made a sort of outside sitting room > where, with comfortable seats, littl ' tables and ruirs, there is much that i i really charming. It is also the way t 1 the garden, where flowers of all kind bloom in profusion. The rose is tli i favorite, livery variety repays triflin care with luxurant generosity. The vim > j yards also do wonclerluily wen. j.ac I year mure land is brought under cultivi ! tion by <rrape growers, and great cav< ' I are dug in the rocky banks, in which tt wine is stored. ? Globe-Democrat. I What is a "Jag J" ! In that section of the country callc I "down East'' the word " ag" is one ( i common use, but it appears to possess : ' very di lie rent signiccation there froi | what it does "out West." Webst< | defines it as a "small loud," but there ai " I some who object to this definition, clain | ing that a load must Lie a full loud; thr j such a th.ng asa "small load" caisnot b< j If the?burdeu is less than a full loac [ some other term must be used to correctl express it. The word " ag" 6eems t 1 have been expressly coiued for this plac< [ aDd it is certain that down East it : j used invariably to denote a portion of r j load. If a farmer is asked if he has gc j all his hay in, he would reply, should th , j tacts warrant it: "All but a ag." In tli ' i West the word is cnti:ely misapplied, i the above di?seut from Uebsti-r is we i founded. The expression is seldom hear ' j except in the case of a drunken mar g I One sees a man laid out in a drunke j stupor or staggering through the stre< ' and he hears some one say, "That cha has a jag on." Everything iudieat* ' that the party is full, has a full load ant therefore, it is not a "jag." By th same token it is correct to say a man hi a jag on when he is a little hilarious < . "just so, so." There can be no questic '' as to there being big jagg and little jaj even if theie cannot be big and litt loads, it would, therefore, be hard to tc 5 how many "jags" it would take to mal a "load.''?Ohioago Htrald. I A Worm that Helps Fanners. A worm has been recently imported into Louisiana from the West Indies for ^ the purpose of destroying the coco or nut grass. The experiments with this worm have been made in Madison parish, Louisiana, on the plantation of Mr. F. L. Maxwell. This plantation is largely covered with coco grass, which, as many farmers know, is a pest that is difficult to deal with. Hearing that this worm had destroyed large tracts of the nut grass in the West t. Indies, Mr. Maxwell imported some of d the eggs. These egcs were forwarded 53 I through the mails on blades of grass 1.1 covered with damp moss. Most of the d ! eggs were spoiled in transit, but a few ,o of them hatched, and Mr. Maxwell | placed the worms in a nut-grass patch. ie | At the end of a week no signs of the ? AAnnln^orl i worms were sceii, ouu n vuu^>uvav,v. n ! that the experiment had proved to be a i. 1 failure. ,f j But one day Mr. Maxwell noticed that ie i a number of the nut grass plants had n begun to wither. Several weeks after it i this he obsen ed on the under side of 1.1 the grass blades a number of eggs, the d result of the development of the worms, y ! There have been live crops of worms. It n is estimated that each moth will lay a 3 million eggs, and at this rate a few r. crops of worms will cover a comparag tively large area. On Mr. Maxwell's o plautat.on they have destroyed about J ten acres of nut grass Bince the middle [1 of May, and are still vigorously at work, t. When the worm issues from the egg it K makes its way down the blade of grass, eating as it goes, enters the ground, ,8 follows the root until it reaches the nut s and bores its way in, thus destroying the [, vitality of the grass. s : Naturally, Mr. Maxwell is very enthuj siastic over his success in destroying the ? * ? -3 L. j : ? >f pestiferous nut grass, ana ue uesucs <.u ,f1 distribute the eggs over the South e wherever the giass has secured a footle : hold. This would be a verv good thing, e ; if the farmers could be sure that the aci I tivity of this remarkable worm would a ' cease with the destiuction of the nut a grass; but what will be the history of y i the worm after the nut gras3 has disapj. peared? This may prove to be a very l3 impoitant question in the future, for it ). j is possible, though we hope it is not cl ; probable, that this worm may prove to ,f be a worse pest than the nut grass itself, d ! which :s b:id euough. !l i The English sparrow experiment is a i case in point, though we are bound to I. say that the worms are more valuable k than the sparow. The worms were imo ported to kill nut grass, and they hare .surpassed all anticipation. The sparrow n was imported to kilt insccts, bat insects y are about the only things it doesn't at rg tack. It may be that the West Indian 10 worm, after destroying the nut grass, > may turn its attention to other vegetal| tion, but it is tc be hoped that after il has served its purposes in the nut grasf e patches it will disappear.?Athn'a Con IB . ! Secretive Orientals. 6 There is a secrccy among Oriental! which is rarely equaled among Kuro , peans. They live so entirely apart and Q ' their manners and customs are so totally d , opposite to those of the white masters ol (3 India that a political movement may be 3. be on foot and liave permeated the masses before we are thoroughly aware of its r_ importance. Thus any outbreak would )r 1 be sudden and unexpected. .Although 13 life and property under British rule ii 38 safeguarded beyond all precedent in Ori5. entai history, the race animosity exists, and we are dimply obeyed because Indit )3 is not strong enough to resist. The dark r3 skinned masses will never love theii 'd white conquerors. This is a fact whicl i3 should be ever present to the eyes of oui 7 administrators. We rule because wcare r3 supposed to possess the power to enforce obedience: we ore obeyed because of the d disintegrating force of caste prejudices, which prevent concerted action amonj Sj the Indian races. Were the 2*>0,000,0:>l lJ; unanimous, their united action would | j turn us out. And still we sleep unsuspioiusly upon the slope of the volcano a ; without anxiety or cur Upon a darl d midnight twenty roofs m:ght suddenly r burst into llame at widely spread intery vals in the cantonments of Jubbulpur. IC A score of natives with bottles of petroy leum to throw upon the tliatch mighl ,r simultaneously ignite the principal i bungalows of the station, and a gend eral attack mi/ht be made during the io confusion. The "alarm" would sound ie | in barracks, and officers would be com|e pelled to hurry to their posts, without a ly i place of refuge lor their wives and chil)f dren. The rulway station would be at;0 tacked and the rolling stock carried oil r. at the moment of the outbreak; the cantonments would be invested by the r. i rebels, without protection of any kind x. for the defenders, and without the possibili'y of retreat. This is not only a d possibility, but a very obvious contin,r gency, and yet we live in a fool's para ;e dise without care or thought of the morrow. All military stations throughout o I India should not only be fortilied, bul ? , the railway stations should be under the y ' immediate protection of the fort to in,, sure the safety of the rolling stock and d access to the line. I have heard olliccr< , of distinction admit this necessity, bul jl they have o iered objection to such a js movement a present, "lest the natives , should be reude:ed suspicious by a sudg den defensive action upon our part."? [s Fortnightly Uccicw. o ~~~ l3; Misquoted Lines. ie It is a peculiar faculty of human mem g ory, says the Philadelphia Time*, to mis quote proverbs and poetry, and almost h invariably to place the credit where it t- does not belong. ;s ; Nine men out of ten think that "the ie Lord tempers the wind io the short ; lamb" is from the Bib e, whereas Law ' rence Sterne is the author. ! "Pouring od upon the troubled waters' d is also ascribed to the sacred volume, whereas it is not there; in fact no one a knows its origin. U1 Again, we hear people say: "The ,r proof of the pud ling is in chewing the ,c string." This is arrant noniense, and r the proverb says: lt "The proof of the pudding is in the , eating thereof and not in chewing the j' string." ' Nothing is more common than tc y hear: ? "A man convinced against his will j' Is of the same opinion still." a This ia an impossible condition ol mind, for no one can be convinced ol ie an opinion and at the same time hold tc lC an opposite one. What Butler wrote if was eminently sensible: )| "He tliat conip'-i-s :ig?inst uis will ^ Ls of tlio same opinion still.'' A famous passage of scripture is ofter n misquoted thus: "He that is withoul sin among you, let him cast the firs! ,p stone." It should read: "Let him casi a stone." 1 We also hear that "A miss is as gooi as a mile," which is not as sensible oi w forcible as the true proverb: "A miss ol )r an inch is as good as a mile." ia| "Look before you leap" should be ,s i "And look before you ere you leap." je : Franklin said: "Honesty is the besi dl ; policy," but the maxim is of Spaniel ce origin, and may be found in "Do: ! Quixote." : / - r* " Jt.' ' ' * BUDGET 6F FUN. ' HUMOROUS SKKTCH-S PROM v Amuus tiuunu&s. Should Bear It in Hind?Nothing But the Truth?A Better Name?Changed His Mind, Etc., Etc. Husband?"You are not the coolc mj mother used to be, my dear." Wife?,:No, John, fortunately. Yoi mustn't forget that your father died o: dyspepsia."?Si/tings. Nothing Bat the Truth. Judge?4<i:risoner,thi8 is the thirtieth 1 time this year that you have appeared ! before this tribunal. What brought yoi ' here again?" Prisoner?"To tell the truth. Judsre it was the police." A Better Name. Pretty Cousin (to young Sissy)"Why, Charley, since I last saw you yoi have grown quite a board." Young Sissy?"Ya'as, Maud; mutton ; chop whiskers, you know." Pretty Cousin?"Oh, are they? Whj they look more like lamb-chop whis ' kera."?New York Sun. The Progress of Science. Jenkins?"Did you hear of the won derful operation Dr. Ball performed 01 S.cithers last week?" Bilkins?"No! what was it?" Jenkins?"Five years ago Smithen 1 stepped on a tack, and yesterday th< doctor removed a ten-penny nail fron the arm of Smithers' little boy."?Th< \ Idea. Changed His Mind. "Wife?"Shall we go to the picnic to day, dear?" Husband?"Just as you say, love." Wife?' Well, if we go we must takt ! j the baby." Husband?"Oh, by the way, there's all that cord wood to cut and split. 1 ! guess I'll stay at home."?Burlington j' ree Press. In thf? Same Predicament. Kirby?"Lend me a fiver, will you, old i boy? I'm clean broke." j Moxey?''That's a pretty good ring ( ; you wear. Why don't you hock it?" ! Kirby?"Couldn't, you know. It's i , J souvenir of a deceased brother." .Moxey? "Well, my money is a souve; nir of a deceased father. Day-day, old . fel."?Time. 1 | Fan Enough. | It was his fiist visit to the city. As hf ; stood on the curbstone shaking his side) i with laughter, he was accosted by oue oJ >"ew Haven's tinest. "What's the fun, stranger rM "iun? Can't you see it? Just loot how that thing (pointing to a watering ? cart) leaks. Why, the blamed fool wou'l j.have a drop left when he gets home."? L ! New Haven News. r l f j Learning English. 5 | A Frenchman of this city, having rp ? ceived the photograph of a lady, askec i ! a friend what was customary under the I I circumstances. i j "Compimsnt it," replied the friend. j "Tell her its beauty is very rare." "I beg to make zee acknowledgmong, ; madaiue," he said to her at their nexl i : meeting. "Zee beauty of madame is : I very scarce." ?Binquntnton Re^ublkan. l Two Brutes. Magistrate ? "What's the charge ! ( against this man?" ' i OJiicer?"He threw a photograph lent ! ! at a baby and cut its head." Magistrate ?"Are you a regular phoj tographer?" ' I Prisoner?"Yes, your honor. I had ! been trying for two mortal hours to take ' j a picture of that little imp?I mean litI tie babv. vour honor?and?" :i Magistra-c?" i'ou are discharged. 1 r | used to be a photographer myself."? , The Cartoon. The Lost Found. ' j "Well, Mis'," interrogated the irato ' I father of a Ch'cago girl aud a new tho:i! sand dollar [l>ia;io; "can you tefl me 1 what this is. stuck onto this rosewood L ; like a lump of grafting wax! Have yoi decided to ma'ry a isomer, and is he giv , ing you lessons in tree-pt>qtingr" "Oh, no," answered the msjden, with ; | a glad rin'4 in her spruce like voice : j "that's my dear old gum. When Harry " wanted a song, I p.it it where it would 1 be safe, and t:ien forgot it anA thought \ I'd lost it."?The Idea. \ I A Ruling Passion With Him. 1 Thp inmiisitive traveler had sac alonrr " side his one-legyed victim, till everybody ! had turned in, and still plied him with : | questions till he wished he had died at : the a-nputation. ! | "flow did you lose your leg?" he " ; asked, as a clincher. ^ I "Weil, I'll tell you if you promise not J ! to ask any more questions." ' j "All right; I won't." 1 i "It was bit. off." "Good-night: am going to bed; bul " I'd like mighty well to know what bil ' it off."? Chi.nfjo Tunes. The Expletive that. Caught Her. Wife (piously)?"Henry, I wish vol wouldn't swear so." Henry (shocked)?<;I don't swear, mj c j dear." '; Wife?"Yes, you do; or just thesam< I thing. You musn't say 'by George, > ; or 'by Jove,'or 'by 2\ed' or by any i thing." Husband (submissively;?"Not evei buy a new bonnet, love.'" ' i Then she was very, very sorry for hei i I thoughtless reform movement, and com > I ing close to him, threw her arms abou* ! his neck and asked him to forgive her.? j Washington Critic. I The Court Reversed Its Decision. "Mr. Brief,''said the judge, grimly ! "it seems to mo that you are wasciuj ! time; you might as well try to maiio the court believe that two and two do no: ' make four." Brief settled his eyeglasses a little more lirmly on his nose and responded blandly: "May it please your honor i am prepared to do that. Two and tw< make .2." 1 The shadow of a smile played avounc > the corner of the udge's irouth as lit sat back in his chair, and said: "i'oi i inay ,'?> 011 with yo* argument, .Mr Brief."?UoAu/i jxdie in. t A Bad Habit. t "Xow, hubby, before we were mar ' ried we promised to tell each other o; our little faults and try to correct then i ?do you remember, dear?" r "I m-huh," grunted the husband, whi f was deep in reading the last scandal. '/Well, we've been married a wedand I notice a bad habit you have ?d' you hear?" ' "I' m-huh." > "Yes, a bad habit you have of no: i paying attention when one is talkiug? are you listening to mo?" ... ' J ' *"' v ' 4mm. "Cm-huh." "Of not payingVttention, and then when one gets through and asks yon lomething you say : 4 Do what?' This is aot only aggravating, but impolite, and [ want you to break yourself of the disagreeable habit." "Do what?"?St. Louia Humorist. Would Throw That In. "My friend," said a tight-fisted bankei o a young man who had pulled him out if the water, "I appreciate the fact thai rou have saved my life, and I am proDared to reward you?to reward yoo ibcrally for your services. What can 1 io ior youf" "Well, sir, there was a suit of clothef ipoiled," said the rescuer who wa^ good oatured though not educated, "thai would be about seventeen dollars; then I lost my hat. that would be fifty cents: then I took considerable liquor to ke<?p off a cold, which cost me a quarter. J don't think of anything else, sir." "But you do not mention the fact th'il you have saved my life. What can 1 ac for you on that score?" 'Oh, well, call the -whole thinj eighteen dollars an' I'll throw the life saving in free."?Merchant Tnveler. The Visitor Was Mistaken. Proprietor (showing visitor througl me omco?"lius is ine eaiconai uu partment." Visitor?"Then I suppose that fat, genial-looking chap across there is the >bituary editor, aud that the thin, crosslooking genius who just threw a papei weight at the office boy, is your funnj man i" Troprietor?"So; both guesses are wrong. You probably obtained youi idea9 from current paragraphs. The fat. *ood-natured man is the humorist, and the attenuated gentleman is the write! of the tariff editorials." Visitor?"Ah. indeed! But, this gentleman with the handsome desk, railed ir irom the rest of i be oflice, attended by t oretty type-writer and two messengei ooys? I suppose he is editor-in-chief." Proprietor?"Wroug again! That ii :he baseball reporter!"?The Idea. Artificial Floweis. Arti'icial flowers, says a writer in the Garienlauhe, were first invented by pious tuns. In the Italian convents the ahar: ind shrims of saints were, up to theenc >f the eighteenth century, decoratec vith artificial flowers, laboriously put to jether, of paper, parchment, and othei itifi materials. Since then the "ltaiiai 3owers," which are made iu Veaetiar lactones of the impcrfect cocoons o: lilkworms, have become famous for theii laintiness, which makes them particular y suitable for toilet decorations. Besid< .hese silk flowers other artificial flowen ire made in Venice, whence nearly al !taiy is supplied, and whence whol< ?vagon loads are exported to other coun ;ries. No sooner has the visitor to Yenic< :aken his early cup of chocolate a florian's, near the Marcus place, whei ;he cicerone appears, ottering to show lim the "famous" factory of the "fa nous Italian flowers." This factory i utuated in one of the gray old houses 01 he Fre/.zaria, and several hundred girl ire occupied in it. In the warchousi ;he most wonderful reproductions o lat.iral flowers are exhibited in glasi :asc8, and it seems in many cases as i lot only the richest aid most brillian jolors, but the very scent of the flowers lad been stolen from nature, for some o > ? j ? ?a +v., 1X16 artificial uowurs arc blccjjcu. iu vu' jerfamc distilled from the flower whiel t represents. Any one wishing to tak< lome some souvenir of Venice can hav< lis choice of beautiful and often fantus ic objects at the factory.' In the upper stories of the house th< jirls sit at their work, constructing, witl :lever hands, the most beautiful works o irt, for all the most expensive artfieia lowers are nearly e xclusively made bj land, and their value depends solely or he manual de\terity and taste of th< joorly-clad and mostly delicate-lookin: {iris, sitting at long tables and inhaling he unhealthy dust of the dyed mate ials. No machinery could replace th lexterity and taste. Last century a Swis nvented a machine for cutting out th eaves and petals, but it can oniy be use< or the smallest kinds, such as are want a! fur hvnr.intha. iilies of thi? valley md other small flowers. In larger petal he irregularities of manual work a:< jrcferred to the stiff and correct form >ro.li;ced by machinery. The materia >f which the petals are made is wovei n special factories; the scissors an( ither tools used by the girls, as well a; he presses in which the veins are tracec >11 the leaves, are of a shape speciallj .dapted to the work. Each part of i lower is made by specialists. In om oom, for instance, only stalks of llowen md leaves are made: in another fruits ind beiries of all kinds are cast, if the] ?re of wax, or blown, if of glass. Thi Severest workers are employed in mak >lo-soms of the single petals, and bou lucts, wreaths and garlands of the sin jle blossoms. It is very interesting t< vatch this process and to see how, tirst he centre of a flower is constructed, hen the petals put round, next :he greei eaves, aud so forth, till a flower or i >ranch is complete. Electric Sugar. A queer story of an alleged wonder ul discovery by an American inveutoi ind the practical application of it ii jrcat iiritaiu comes iro:u a Scorch news japer, which vouches for its truthlu! less. The discovery is of a process fo; eflning sugar by electricity, and the in rentor was the late Professor lienn rrieud, of New i'ork. He was sosecre ;ive, it is said, that he repelled all at omnt-Q t,i facilitate the working of his jrocess by keeping the management o: he machinery in his own hands, nnd he was so fearful that his secret would b< liscovercd that he sent the machinery tc Scotland piecemeal from different parti >f this country. Ue gave years of laboi ind investigation to the process it i aid, and only his wife was initiated inti lis secret. At his private working roorr le posted a notice that it was death foi my one to cross the threshold.and whet le died his secret would have been lost iud not those interested in his sebeme nsiited that he should make a writreii ecord of his experiments for use in such v contingency. No details of the new process arc given, but it is declared that it render* he boiling of sugar no longer necessary, ind thus saves much that is now wasted. Hie raw su^ar is put into his machine, ind the first batch s concerted into reined product in four hoars. After that .he procc-s is continuous, the machinc working as long as raw sugar is supplied, md turning it into refined sugar in an aour and three-quarters from the time it s put in. Ninety-nine per cent, of the taecharine matter in the raw sugar isse:urcd, it is asserted, and the total cosl s only about eiffhty cents a ton. The right to use the process has, it if illcged, passed into the hands of a firn: jf Liverpool merchants, and slartliug ihanges in the sugar business in the neai future are promised.?New York Sun. Victor Hugo said that God had createc woman the coquette as soon as he hac nade man the fool. - * ' V*.i>L -A-C/Ai'li- '> ''A'<-? POPULAR SCIENCE. I | Creolin is a new antiseptic. J . The highest stations in Europe iot , making meteorological observations are about lO,OUO feet above sea level. Improved sanitation in England hai led to a diminution of the death rate.1 Since 1881 the rate has fallen from 20. if 1 o 18.8 per thousand. j Recent experiments in England are jfl ; held to be favorable to the use of loco* 1 ' motives for towing boats on canals. The fl iflpn ia tint rpw nlMimioh the W&VS of I f! applying it may be. The Union Steel Company,of Chicago, are putting into their steel works a , liquid fuel plant to use crude petroleum. Two 1000-barrel tanks are being erected, iuto which the oil will be pumped from \ cars* . . 4 | Kecent French and Etogl:sh statisticf*" indicate that, while the average duration ' of life is increasing through improve. ment in the health of children, the num; ber of extremely aged persons is diminishing. .. , Dr. Donald C. Hood has collected J many facts relating to the use of salicylic I acid for rheumatism. Of 728 patients I ?'.i ?i - ?1-- t.m . I ireaica wiili auncy iiues o~o wercicucicu of their uaios within se^en days,whereas i G12 patients treated by other methods . only 140 were relieved within the same time. ;.%* Dr. Zambaco, of Constantinople, who i has livad for several years among the 1 . lepers of the far East, says that he has r never met a single instance of contagion, r although the malady is certainly heredi- > tary, the children of lepers becoming i leprous at the a<je of ten, fifteen ana twenty years generally. Take a small quantity of a two per . 1 cent, carbo'ic acid solution, and sprinxle " ' sheets, coverlet, pillow and bolster, on both sides, the edges of bed curtains, and the wall next the bed. The face ,, i and neck may also be slightly wetted . i with the solution. Not a single gnat or , f mosquito will come near. The hand-made time pieces of the i| ' Swiss and French, who have so long held the snDremacv as clockmakers, are not now ?, regarded as superior to tho^e of Ameri- ' 1 can machine make. The American ma- , < ' chine made watch is a; finished and 3 accurate as its foreign competitor, and 3 is, of course, vastly cheaper. | A chance for mechanical geniuses is J offered by a railway department in Switzerland, which has issued an order r compelling all engines traveling mora 1 than forty-five kilometers an hour to use i a speed indicator which must mark cor* rectly the variations of speed. A good r market is opeu to whoever can furnish J the best article. j ?Store-keepers and . janitors, who have 1 their brass ornaments, railing, and signs 2 polished at the expense of some money j - and considerable hard labor, can save ' ; ;hemselves much trouble by simply dip- | t ping the brass into a liquid < omposed of lu i equal parts of nitric ac d and water. The fl r brass should not remain in the acid more 9 than a few moments and should then be fl 9 carefully rinsed in running water. 4 il f Exercising thoroughly distributes the W 3 blood to every portion of the system, fl ? promotes digestion, strengthens the ' muscles of the limbd, and supports the ' 3 spinal column in such a manner thai 1 the brain is not exhausted, but invigor* ated by an exercise that may be cdntin* ! I ued for hours. Let every feeble, nervous v ' woman try it, and she will soon find her -f! e limbs rotund, cheeks ruddy and step 3 elastic. E e Table Autocrats Suppressed. I Among many changes in the social life of London, none perhaps is more 5 striking than the change in the fashion 1 of talk, writes G. W. Smalley, the Lon' don correspondent of the New York # ' Tri'sune. The note of to day is not the T note of twenty years ago, or of the 1 generation which preceded. The litera3 ture, the biographical literature, the ' reminiscences of the iaat fil'ty years, are . ? full of the renown of great talkers. Ma* caulay may betaken as a type of them. L' I have asked a number of persons who 8 knew Macaulay well, who met him often, e who made part of the world he lived in, ^ who sat with him at table, who listened * to him, whether his immense reputation > was deserved, and whether he would 3 now be thought a good talker. I quote 3 nobody, but I sum un the general sense ? of all the answers in one phrase?he 1 would be thought a bore. "Macaulay," 1 said.a talker, whose conversation ranged 1 over three generation?, "did not talk, 3 he lectured. He chose his'subject, it mattered little what, and he delivered a J discourse on it. Now, no dinner table 3 would stand it; he would be stopped, e contradicted, his long stories vetoed; no 3 monopoly or monopolist is tolerated. II ' you wanted to know about Queen Anne ? j you could go home and read a cyclo3 ' pedia." Everything now is touch and " i go. Topics are treated lightly, and ' j above all, briefly. The autocrat who | held sway over the company and forced 1 J them to listen, has vanished. Yom may > i tell a story, but you must, in IJayward'l > j phrase, cut it.to the bone. If you do 1 . not cut it short you will be cut into, and 1 before you are half way through another man will have begun and linished his, and your audience will have gone over to the enemy. Worse still, if you persist, you - may for once have your way,"but it will r be for once only, your host makes the i appalling discovery that you are im possible, and he asks you not again? neither he nor any of the company. No . r reputation is so universal as that of the / j - bore; no other criminal is so suuuueu - m by his fellow-men. 9 Gold Consumption. I s It may seem rather strange that the I f vast amouut of gold dug from the earth I j should not remain in some tangible form I 2 among nations who value it so highly I > for money or a circulating medium, and H i other purposes. But gold coins wear I r out, and so do all other ornameuts made I i of that metal, and the particles worn oS I > are scattered over the earth's surface I i again, not lost, but it is so- widely dis- I tributed that it cannot be gathered to- I i gether. It is said that from two to four 9 million dollars' woith of gold arc used I ! annually in the shape of foil for gilding, B i lettering, edging of books, sign and I i ornamental painting, and dentistry. If I the gold mines of the world should sud- I ! denly cease to yield any bullion the i present supply would soon be used up.? I A'cu) York Hun. I Wily "Trade" Dollars Were Minted. I The "trade dollars" were legal tender I to the amount of $-3 up to July 22, 1S70. The coinage of this money was author- I i/ed by an act of Congress passed in I February, 1SS8. It was intended to ex- 9 port the money to China, where it would I circulate in common with the Spanish and Mexican dollars. There is no mint I for the coinage of gold and silver in the I Celestial Kingdom, and the trade dol- I i lars beinsr a little more valuable than 9 i the Mexican coins, an opportunity was I ; offered for a market for the surplus I r metal of the mines of the Pacific Slope. B The trade dollars were of convenient I form for handling, and relieved Amer- I I ican merchants from the necessity of I I buying the Mexican money for payment I for Chinese goods.?Detruit Frt? Pre**. I