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r ^ '(ty - I CARRIERS' TALES. i' ! Veracious Stories Related by i the Botjs Who Delioer Your Papers. ; ^___ ' By CURTIS DUNHAM. I [Copyright. 1891 All rights reserved.] , Good Friends, who wait our comin' in the , mot nin' or at night, And never wait in vain ('cause we believe [ 1 in startin' right), You sometimes wonder, don't you, what i the Carrier Boys will do When they have famblies to support the same as some of you? 1 I' Ii jt ! |? ' i ! Ih-JL I i ' I ' I KS57IM, 1il The most of us are growiu' mighty fast, as you cau tell "Rt? nn nnr iaolfAt.c ATwl mir loons as welL It's gettin' pretty serious whan in a year or t wo The Carriers will have farablies to support the same us you. I So this New Year we offer you our Carriers' Fairy Tales. Please buy some extra copies for your friends, 'cause rapid sales And mod'rate profitssuit us best?of course you'll see us through, Since wo will soon have farablies. to support the same as you! "WHERE AND WHEN TIIESE TRUTUFL'I. TALES WERE TOLD. "We call tbem Fairy Tales, 'cause day or night "We told them by a dim and flickering light Down in the darkest corner of the room 3ehind the Press; and sometimes iu the gloom, t seemed like little Elves and Gnomes crept out To gather what our chat was all about. And so, forgetting often where we were, Too interested in some Tale to stir Or note the fliclit of time, a sudden clack , And clank of flyiu*; wheels would start us back To earth, and "Fold your papers!" that command i Would end the'spell and banish fairyland. j ? '/Tw.is there we sat and told these Tales, j and when The Press warmed to its noisy task, 'twas J then L JThc Carriers' daily toil began* _ I '' > We charged tbem down Below the town. And charged them up again; In the cattle sheds They hid their heads, So fierce the frozen rata. Then, with a shout For their redoubt We started on a runTo learn, alas! How it came to pass The fight had just begun! i THE SNOWBALLS WERE FROZEN. A.q Unbiased Tale of the Battle of Simpsou's Field. This tale was volunteered by one, As you'll perceive, who saw the fun, And who for reasons that are plain Won't care to see the like again. You have all been told That our warriors bold, To their extreme concern, Were forced to yield On Simpson's Field? But why you have yet to learn. The rival force Had pursued a course Very much to be deplored; And talked so loud IP' _ ' y(l *"' A a ? ! This upstart crowd They could not be ignored. So Captain Jim , Surrounded him With soldiers truo and tried, While Captain Jack And his rude pack Responded full of pride. Their chance looked slim To Captain Jim, For they numbered only t?n, While we set out j < To put them to ront With a dozen gallant men. We had our way, ( And New Year's dayWas named for tbe final charge; Near Simpson's field The foes were concealed, And Simpson's field was large. ] But larger yet To our regret, We found was Simpson's heart: In his cattle stalls They stored snowballs, Which doomed us from the start. > Our warriors bold t.hp fnlH For sheep were all arrayed, Aud knowing naught Of the foe's dark plot. Were not a whit dismayed. ^Sffjny A frosty night, I To their delight, E,mba missed us somewhat; But .a midday thaw Dispelled that flaw, And furnished us with shot. Oh, who can say That on that day Our valor was in donbt? When blow for blow ' With spheres of snow We charged them,all about! Our captain thought The foe was cuttght Within that cattle shed; To Btorm it well With shot and shell At his command we sped. "Have at them, then, My gallant men!" Our leader blithely cried. "Nor shell nor shot Defends the spot Where these poltroons now hldel" As soft as clay < The snow now lay Beneath the noonday sun; It made us smile To think the while Our foemen they had none. But oh! how soon We changed our tune That fateful New Year's day! Those frozen balls, Stored in the stalla, Were not at all like'play. Our lesson was bought With the first onslaught, For the volley that laid us low, With painful thumps And blue black bumps, Was st volley of frofcen snow. On Simpson's field We were forced to yield, ftfrolrn mon tn tPfl' And now you know Why this was so. But let them try again! AB'M LINC'M JONES. the Diverting Tale of a Small Darky and a Large Watermelon. S"d Carrier quite so small and dark 3iis ever made so fine a mark \s this same Ab'm Linc'm Jones. tie's three feet six in height, and owns 1 route that pays so very well 2e dresses like a howling swell. 'single fault his friends bewail, \.nd you'll observe that in this tale? rhe tale of Ab'm Linc'm Jones: Oh,down byde ribbcron thesandy grown', \Vha' de melons grow so big, Dar's a high bo'd fence built all aroun'? But dat don' stop dis nig. On top ob de fence wha' dey cotch yo' chin Am spikes dat make yo' smile, A.n' de bo'ds so closeskecters can't git in-But dat don' stop dis chile. De gate am locked like de big heu roost Kex' do' to de cullud chu'cli? Solly, folks dat's waitin' for to be int'duced Don't know dis darky much I De boss am waitin' wiv de ol' shot gun, An' a b'ar trap watch for yo'; De folks dat's spectin' to see some fun Don' know dis chile for sho'. Yo' nebber kin scar' cullud man dat way, Dem melons am too sweet; De big b'ar trap an' de gun come to stay? Nebber min!; dis, chile done eat! An' how he get in, yo' like to know? Jes' come eriong wiv me By de side ob de fence whar de thick brash grow? De boss he nebber see. ?rv i 1 1- /? __ I .1a /I of 1 /I n /I P jjar's wiiar yo' jun an ue muun ur*u kou,i To de watermelon patch; An' diir yo' kin cat and spit out de seeds Till yo' heal) de gate unlatch. Golly, den yo' scoot like a possum up a tree, For de boss am after yo'l Scoot back frew d? tunnel befo' ha kin-see, Jes' as fas' as yo' kin>gol . . ' 5 t- / * Right dar am de spot dk chile aimos' Don gib hisaelf away. Fa's' time didn't know how long, ob eo'ss, Was bes' for him to stay. Oh, de stars nebber shine like dat befo'? (No moon yo' see dat night) De watermelons all dead ripe, an' so Jes' took de biggea' in sight. Stick de knife in de center an' heah him crack 1 Dis melon couldn't wait no mo', So juicy an' red an' de seeds so black, His time hab con*e for sho'l Dig out de middle an' swallow him quick An' keep yo' eye on dg pate, So de boss when he come for to make yo' sick Be shuah to come too late. i Fu's' half ob de melon done tickle dis chile T tl iiiftU UCUIA!! uo wivajvu wvw , So he tackle de las', keepin watch all de while, ' For to take de hint to go. An' jca' as he swallow de las' big bite An' done spit oat de seed, De boss he see by de gate wiv a light? ,Golly, dat was all he need! Sho't cnt for de tunnel, mos' scar'd to T death, P De las' jump am a slide, C An' got to de fence fclean out ob breath " Wiv all dat melon insidel A Oh, den what trouble hab struck dis nig? 1 He couldn't get frew at alll | Vo' see de watermelon was so big | An' de darky am so smalll i But de boss uebber catch dis chile dat way, ^ 'Case he been dar befo'; I Jes' scoot for de place dat melon lay E As fas' as he kin go, I A ?.) {na?/1a aK amnf.tr oUn! Jj I AU IUH1UU KJU uc cui^/v; ontM> (Da6 am a fac' indeed; . ' i When de darky scoop dat melon in He done spit out de seed!) De boss come erloug, but nebber kin tell Somebody done eat his fill, An' de bigges' watermelon am an empty shell, / Dis darky keep so stilL Oli, down by de ribber on de sandy groun' ^ Whar de melons grow so big, j Dar's a high bo'd fence built all aroun', ' But dat don't stop dis nigl THEY GOT NO SCALPS. ^ The Harrowing Tnle of FiTfl Injan Fighters. The "Iujnu Fighter" took the floor, And told a tale oft told before; If you read on quite to the end Its moral you will comprehend. In me you see a boy, With leisure to employ Upon the gnine Of circulating news, ? And editorial views On the same. I It used to seem like work Which I was glad to shirk? This carrier job; But now to me it's play, And, as I learned today, Also to Bob. " I'm very glad to find j. Bob in that state of mind, For it was he G Who led that "bravest band 0? Injun fighters in the land"? Including me. That's what you called us when We straggled home again, Ambition gone; But when we started out To put the fiends to rout You cheered us on. To me and all the rest Said Bob, "On to the west Where fame awaits! Let future song and story Cover us with glory. j Onward matesl" I ^ ' I Tf>n-nrr1 fliO cpfflTlf? aim. Each with his little guu E And powder horn, Grim faces live we turned; For Injon scalps we yearned \ That April morn. . . Of food we hadn't any, Three dollars to a penny We were caahed; And thus we marched along With shont and martial song All unabashed. Two days of finest weather Held our band together On the trail; A frigid, drizzling rain Then changed our joy to pain, And we turned tail. Alan! what bad we done? Each had his little gun And nothing more; Wherever we applied ^ For a chance to get inside They shut the door. "Show as the scalps," they said, "Of Injans that are dead Because of yon, And then well let yoa in And stuff you to the chin." What could we do? Thus we were fed with sneers, And warmed with cruel jeers Or heartless smiles, As homeward worn and sore We crept from door Those weary miles. From that band I've now resign* Quite satisfied to find A road to fame Through circulating news. And editorial viewB Oil the same. WHY HE DRESSED WELL. he Sentimental Tale of the CarrU Dude. [e liked our company and we fere willing that the Dude shonid be . listener, but more than that To would not grant. Said we: "That's fla ou and your kind were made to fill he world with beauty, and until >ur tongues get very tired indeed our silence will be all we need." ; happened though that soon a tale ii-rnati nut an otunifl. flat, and stale at vowed, "Not e'en th' Dude, bedad, u'd tell a sthory twice as bad." Good! Let him try," we all replied, jid thus the Carrier Dude complied: Over the bill a "sub" of mine, (No matter who) Is father to one?and she's divine? 1 mean to woo. 'ou? may laugh if you like?you are a ways rude? tat your laugh later on will be more sul dued. 'or there's triumph ahead for the "Carri< Dnde." Annie's her name, and she is a prize; But her father's got Besides her a dog of enormous size That should be shotl [owever, quite friendly he's growing to 1 wear goo<\clothes and am clean, you set ?nd even her father is taking to ma It happened this way: I had stopped \ talk To Annie there, When her father came quietly up tl walk, Began to swear, .nd declared that no dude with nothic to do, ' (Those chief delight was a toothpick shoe ould talk to his daughter?not if t knew! The bundle of papers beneath my arm Then spoke for me In a manner that quieted my alarm. "Ah, now I see," Ler father remarked, "I judged yo wrong; 'o that idle crowd you don't belong, tut pay your way as you go along." Now here is a lesson for some of you: This millionaire. Who works all day as hard as we do. Said to me there: My boy, let them jeer if they pleas your plan i the best, and gladly I'll help you when canfood taste in dress always helps make tl man." II take tlic oiu man at. ais ivuru ?uu day. ' Atul then you'll see 'he millionaire give his daughter away? Away to me! Hint then will you say? . Will you still 1 rude? lr remind each other in tones subdued Vlmt a long headed chap was that "Ca rier Dude?" THE CARRIERS' PARASITE. lii Admonitory Talo Addressed to Nuisance. l parasite vine on the oak tree feeds, And the oak has no redress; lilt the parasite boy who this tale reads Will take tho hint, I guess. If he don't We won't Give him a chance To mix* I The bit* \ Of a lively dance! I i Thia dance will be'lo the formof a jlg," d And the tone will make him jiunp: 1 ! For a good thick stick on the back of the Prig \ i Will raise full many a lump. I With each swish fl He'll wish ] He was miles away; M Black and blue M Throagh and through ? He will go and stay! fl He loafs all Che year, this parasite boy. yu And jeers at the carriers' toil; SB And the carriers' harvest hails with joy, B For he makes their reward faia spoil. f| He'd as lief. a Be a thief V As an honest man; G Make him work, 1 Not shirk, } Is now oar plan. . I These Carriers' Tales, on New Year's day. Will meet with a ready sale; And the harvest is oats this time, we say. For the parasite's schemes will fail They will see - /. '< ' .Vv.'^ That he Isa rank outsider; T And will put ' ; - < V ', i , Thoir foot On the greedy spider! Let the carriers'parasite read as ne runs, * And remember what he has read; 1- We are mad this time and hare trained oar V guns b- On the spot where be hides his head? v If he don't 7 ^ jr We won't Givek him a chance To miss The bliss Of a lively dance! V ' -V.,- ' ? : r-r-r 1 ' ^ HOW CY WON FORTUNE. i* A Mournful Tale or. What Ulffht Hm ' Be?n. { r An ancient Carrier Boy was he J t (For he confessed to thirty-three), j And we nicknamed him Lonesome Joft .1 His solemn looks impressed ns so. J He seemed to nurse some vain regret; J Though often urged he never yet 1 " j > i-.i J',>..f ami I'uuucsuctiucii i/v icn?w ^ Just why tad quarreled with hi* face. At last he changed hin mind one day, ^ And thus he gave himself- away " - A Renteel Httle.chap was Cy. Unlike the most of us, For he was never known to lie. Or ever heard to cuss. ,u He always was so neat and nice We called him "Sissy"?why, He wonldn't smoke at any price. And chew!?he'd rather die! We laughed?he didn't care a rap; > . And now we fume and fuss To seo the wav this centre I chap I Has yot the laugh 011 us. , e; I Cy wouldn't throw the dice, or play With cards, or raise a row: < I His principles were all O K? Just as his checks are now. 16 We might have had our check books, too, And credit quite as good; _ S i But we remained a shiftless crew f While Cy kept sawing wood. ^ i11?i mi, __i \ ILLUAXXasi " )e The first we knew he'd sold his route, ' And bought an A1 stand, With papers, peanuts, books and fruit, r. | The finest in the land. ' Before we'd swallowed our chagrin Cy's stand became a store; ! Before we'd time to take that in Cy took another lloor. a lie bought a railroad and a mill, And built a big hotel; ' I tell you, boys, say what you will, This genteel chap was?well, i ? , The rest you know as well as I, > , And repetition cloys; This paper now belongs to Cy, I And we're his Carrier Boys! fc % L