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What the Indians Have Cost.
In the complete Indian census re rort just published an interesting at tempt is made for tho *rst time to cast up in figures an aggregate of the gov ernment expenditures on account of the red mon residing within the United States since tho Union was established ii 1789. Tho remit of this attempt indicates in the statistics presented that the gigantic sum of $1,105,219, 372 was spout by tho government up to tho year 1890, either upon tho In dians directly or indirctly because of Indians. Counting in, however, tho civil and military expenses for Indians since then, together with incidental expenses not recognized in the official figures given, it is safe to say that up to June 30, 1893, a further sum ot' ?141,780,628 may bo added to tho ag-* grepate figures, making a grand ag gregate of SI,250,090,000 chargable to Indians to date. Tho Indian wars under the govern ment of the*United States are stated to have numbered more than forty, and to have cost tho lives" of about ?19,000 white men, women and children, including about five thousand killed, in individual encounters, of which his tory takes no note, and of thirty thou eaud Indians, including 8,500 killed in personal encounters.-Globe Demo- j erat. But She Was Wrong. When the crowd was filing out from tho theater young Mr. Youngly stepped on the pretty girl's dress. "Oh, shoo!" the pretty girl ex claimed, cs she was thus suddenly hove to. Young Mr. Youngly 6aw his oppor tunity. "Don't shoo me," he smartly said. "I'm no cow." "No," the pretty girl made answer, os she swept demurely past, "but you will be when you grow up." And it Mas seven or eignt minutes before young Mr. Youngly could light his cigarette.-Rockland Tribune. Would Make an Alteration. Biggerstaff-Young Huggins says he odores the very ground Miss Fosdick wa!hs on. Timherwheele-He wouldn't havo such HU affection for it if ho knew it was mortgaged to its full value.-De troit Free J'ress. Open tho Safety Vnlvo When there is too hi? a head of steam OD. or you will he in danger. Similarly, when that Important safety vulve of thc system, the bim ls become*obstructed. npra it promptly with Host L-l t<-r'> Stomach Bitter-, ami saura nyoinsl the consequences of i-s closuic. Bil iousness? dyi?p9D ia. nislarial. rheumatic! ani kidney complaint, nervousness and nenral.'la atc ali rXtbjttgatrd by this pleasant but potcat conqueror o? disease. Tlie firs' aVl last thing required of genius is thc love of truth. Dr. Ki mer's SWAMP-ROOT euros ali Kidney and Bladder troubles. Pamphlet and Consultation free. Laboratory Binghamton, N. Y. There is even a happiness that makes tho heart a: raid. Miss Brown of Dalton. By the simple Wino of Cardul Treatment of Female Diseases, thousands of afflicted women are restored to healtn ?ver? year. It corrects the menstrual irro?ulanlI?8 from which nearly all women suffer, and is being univer .ally used for that purposs now. Ask your druggist for McF.lree's Wine of Cnrdui. Speaking of this class of women disease0, Miss Laura P. Brown, of Dalton, Ga., says: -'I have bf ou suffering from excessive menses for two years, constantly setting worse, and I feel that McElree's Wine of Cardni has saved ray life- I looked forward to each month and thought. I could not endure such misery an other timo- I can't express my gratitude for the wonderful relief." Tobacco-Weakened Resolutions. Nerves irritated by tobacco, always crav ing for stimu lants, exp?alos why it is so bard io swear off. No-To-Bac is the'only guaran teed tobacco habit cure bcoauso lt acts di lectly ou affected nervo centers, destroys ir ritation, J.K. notes digestion and healthy, re freshing sleep. Many gain 10 pounds in 10 daye. You ruo DO risk. No-To-Lao is sold and guarnntecd by Druggists everywhere. Jlook ftee. Ad. Sterling Remedy Co., Now York City cr Chicago. Always Curro Indigestion, Dyspepsia, Bad Breath, Debility, Sour .Siomach. Wont of Appetite, Distraes After Eatiiig. and all evils arising from a weak or disordered stomach. It builds up from the fir^t dose, and a bottle or two will cure the worst cases, and Insure a Rood appe tite, excellent digestion and result in vigor ous health and buoyancy of spirits. There la no letter way to insure (rood health and a long 1 if?- than to keep the stomach riiht. Tvucr's Dyspepsia Remedy is guaranteed to d>". this- "Tho Tranquilizing Alter-Dinner Drink. For sale by Druggists. Manufactured by C. O. Tyner. Atlanta. They Call It Overwork. Bu ; m s- requires a ch ar brod; yet how few bt!f>i'<v--*< men-with all their sense-realize what i- thc tronb e with their heaii1-. They t all it over-work, worry, anything but what it lea ly U-1NDIOKSCTOJC. This stealthie-t of ni luen'aii-un ly corae*dl*iriii?ed ns N>tuethlntz else. Won! lift you be convinced if a box of R pan? Tabule* cl< are l your head and bright ened up the business outlook? '.I Have Tried Parker's Ginger Tonic and le lleve in it." -avs a mother, and so will you whoa you know its revitalizing properties. W. ll. G ri flin, Ja'-kftou, Michigan, write*: "Suffered with Catarrh for tineen years. Hall"- Cat*?Th Cute cured me." Sold by DrnggUt?, 75% Pico's Care for Consumption has saved mc many ? doctor's bill.-8. F. HARDT, Hopkin* l'lac \ Bait more. Md., Dec. 2, 'W. Mrs. Winslow's Soothinf^Syrnp for children teething, softens the teams, reduces inflamma tion, allays pain, cures wi nd colic. 25c. a bot tlc Summer Weakness Is caused by thin, weak, impure blood. To havo pure blood which will properly sustain your health and give nerve strength, take ?O1 Sarsaparilla ? ASK YOUR DRUGGIST FOR * li ? THE BEST * NURSING MOTHERSJNFANTS/ CHILDREN ? JOHN CARLE & SONS, New York. * THE OGLETHORPE Brunswick, Ca. This is the finest Hotel in its appointment* soutii of Baltimore. The table ts supplied with all the delicacies the market can afford. TheCui-itie is excellent,and service prompt and attentive. Open all the year. Rates rea sonable. J. H. STILWELL, Manager. SM (THURAT, Shorthand, Typewrit PRACTICAL i?"^J?Tc.e? COLLEGE, Richmond, Va, rwt.? v i"*?*> ph] KnlbKin. I .' '? m P ISO ISY C U. RE- FO R /,. ra ? ??RES wh?B? AH Eui FAILS, lg " Beat Cough Syrup. Taates Good. Use | ta tlase. Sold by dmceUt*. :'<2? N\S**M:R-"NON "A LITTLE BROTHER OF THE AIR." There is a bird I know so well, It seems as if ho must have sung I Beside my crib when I was young; I Before I know the way to spell The uame of even the smallest bird, His gentle, joyful song I heard. Now see if you can tell, my dear, What bird it is that, ever}' year, Sings "Sweet-sweet-sweet-very morry cheer." He comes in March, when winds arc strong, And snow returns to hide the earth; But still he warms hts heart with mirth, And waits for May. He linders long While Howers fade; und ovcry day Repeats his small, contented lay; As if to say, we need not fear The season's change, if love is hero With "Sweot-sweet -sweet -vory merry cheer." He does not wear a Joseph's coat Of many colors, smart and gay; His suit ls Quaker brown and gray, With throe dark patches at his throat. And yet of all tho well-dressed throng Not one can sine so bravo a Bong. It makes the pride of looks appear A vain and foolish thing, to hear His "Sweet -swoet-sweet-very merry cheer." A lofty place ho does not love, But sits by choice, and well at caso, In hedge?, aud in little trees That stretch thoir slender arms abovo Tho meadow brook; and thero he stags Till all tho field with pleasure rings; And so he (ells in every ear, The lowliest home to heaven is near In "Sweet-sweet -sweet - very merry cheer." I like tho time, I Uk? the words: They seem so true, so free from art, So friendly, and so full of hean, That if but one of all the birds Could be my comrade everywhere, My little brother of tho air, I'd choose the song-sparrow, my uear, Because he'll bless me, o ve ry year. With "Sweet -sweet-sweet-very merry cheer." -Henry van Dyke, in the Century. A Foolish Masauerade. BREE girls domi ciled in tho next room ! There's au end of my writing for one month, at least !" Kenneth Boss pushed his papers iuto a confused heap, shut his desk with ft vindictive snap, and lighted a "Three chattering, noisy girls, each with it tongue threo times its proper length ! There's ray cousin Flora, Alice Aymer, rind KOSH Fernall -blue eyes, black eyes and melting gray ; by tho way, that little mo?key Rosa, isn't bad looking. I rather fancy that peculiar shade of brown hair. She would make a tolerable study for my next heroine. I may as well put her to some useful purpose. Keigho ! I think Aunt "Meg was crazy to invite all those girls here at once !" He paused a moment, as the merry pearl of girlish laughter echoed in the adjoining apartment. "They're laughing at mo. Girls always thiuk a bachelor fair game." Tap! tap! tap! sounded softly on tho panel of his door, and he ha I just time to take his heeU off the table before Flora Edgeworth put her head into the room. "Cousin Kenneth, are you thero?" "WelJ, what's wanting now?" "May we come in?" "I may as well say yes !" "I just want the girls to seo what a dear little den you've got here." Flora threw open the door, and ad mitted her two companions. "Here he is, girls ! tho old bachelor, as ho appears in his native wilds!" "Now, young ladies," said Mr. Ross, throwing his, half-smoked cigar out of the window, "I'll tron?lo you to be a little less unceremonious !" For Alice and.Flora had pounced on his sheets of loose manuscript like honey bees on abed of heliotrope, and were laughing over tho rather iliogible chirography. Miss Fernalt stood near the door, a little conlused and very pretty, in her blushes and uncer tainty. "Don't bo cross, Kenneth," said Flora. "We'ro going down to the post office now. Rosa Fer nail has written a twelve-page letter to her sweetheart out in Canada-" "Flora !" exclaimed Kosa. "And," pursued the relentless Flora, "we're going to post it. Come, girls." And Mr. Ross was left alono with tho heavy musk roses nodding at tho open casement and tho dreamy mur mur of maple boughs and far-off bees in his ear. "A twelve-pago letter to her sweet heart !" ho pondered. "She must havo had something very interesting to write. Canada, eh? I wish it waB Van Tiemen's Land !" Mr. Ross rose from his easy-chair, and began to walk UD and down the floor. "It's too confounded hot to breathe here!" he said, impatiently taking up his hat. "I'll go and tako a "ramp in the woods." Flora Edgeworth had succeeded in planting a rankling thorn in her cous in's breast, all unconscious though she had been. The sun was low in tho sky when Kenneth returned from his abstracted ramble in the woods, and the wide, old-fashioned country house was very still as ho ascended toward his own apartment. "Hallo!" Mr. Ross gazed vacantly round the room with t-ouictbiug of tho bewil dered feeling that might have be longed to the Eastern Prince when he found himself transported from pole to pole in an cuchanted dream. "I'm in thc wrong room, I believe -for there is Flora Edgeworth'** light wrap on the bed, and Rosa's hat and no end of ribbons and gloves and lace collars on the bureau." Ho balanced tho coquettish little "hat" on his hand. "So this is the fashionable style of chapeau, eh? I wonder now whether Rosa's hat would fit me !" Mr. Ross adjusted the article jauntily on ono side of his curls, and viewed himself in the mirror. "Upon my word, it don't look so bad! And now where's the sacque? A little tight in tho sleeves, but other wise quito a decent fit if a fellow holds hi.? arms well back. There's Alice's blue muslin dress. I've two minds and ft half to put it on, just for thc joke of the thing!" A momentary silence ensued, broken by the rustling of muslin. "Don't meet round thc waist by a good six inches, but I eau hold it up. I wonder what makes tho thing drag on the floor and cling round one's legs so! Oh, I know-the crinoline ought to go under !" "I'm not certain but that I should make quite a nice looking woman," mused Kenneth, strutting backward and forward before the mirror. "On the whole-Tomb of tho Prophet! is that the girls?" Mr. Ross gave a blindly desperate jerk ot his "sacque," and a pull at the crinoline : but all in vain. The gay voices, intermingled here and there with a ringing laugh, or a snatch of song, drew nearer and nearer. For an instant Mr. Ross wildly contem plated a rush through thc hall to his own door, but a moment's reflection convinced him that such a retreat would be impossible. "I must s tay and face it out!" he thought, "but hold on! there's the closet. It's just posssble they will only stay hero a minuto or two. And totally oblivious of the "maj esty of man," he .flod precipitately into the closet. "Why the deuce didn't I think to secure the key?" ho thought, as the girls streamed into the room. "How ever, lean hold on to the door-handle if any ono attempts to get in. By Jove, if the girls should soe me in this rig, I should never hear tho last of it." He leaned against the shelves, and breathlessly awaited the progress of events. "Why !" ejaculated a soft voice Rcsa's own-"where's my hat? Was I carolcs3 enough to leave it down stairs? Flora, you have hidden it." "I wonder what you'll accuse mo of next!" said Flora, in an injured voice. .'You told Mr. Ross that Cousin Simon's letter was to-to" "Your sweetheart ! Well, he ought to be, I'm sure. He is tho handsom est young man I know." "Oh, Flora ! he don't coif.pare with Mr. Ross." "Rosa, be honest," said Flora, "which do you liko best-Cousin Ken, or Simon Montrose?" "Flora!" "Tell mc now, honestly.' The answer carno in a low, half in audible voice. "Kenneth!" Thc heart nuder Alice's sacqne gavo a great jump ! Mr. Ross's head carno in contact with something on the up per 6hclf, and down came a rain of band boxos on his occiput ! There was an instant's terrified silence, and then all the girls began to scream in chorus. "How silly we all are!" said Rosa sremulonsly ; "it's only tho cat." "As if a cat could make such a noise as that!" said Flora. "Cull Uncle John? Alice, do look and see what it is !" "No--you look!" faltered Alice. "I'll look myself," said Rosa Fern all, bravely advancing to the rescue. But when the door-handle refused to turn, even sho blanched. "Some ono is holding the door in side. Call the men !" "There is no necessity," quoth a voico from behind tho panels, and thc next moment tho door flew open, dis closing a tall form in blue, and a countenance whose utter sheepishness eau never bo described ! "Cousin Ken !" shrieked Flora. "Mr. Ross!" faltered Miss Fernall. "Why, it can't be possible !" ejacu lated Alice. And then the three girls clung to each other in paroxysms of laughter. "The fact is, ladies," commenced Kenneth confusedly, "1- Won't some ono help msolT with this rnouie-trap? Miss Ali20, I'm very sorry I've split your sacque, but- Well, if you won't stop laughing I can't explain, that's the loug and tho short of it!' But Rosa Ferna!! had stopped laughing already, and thc pink ot her cheeks was deepening into scarlet. She had just remembered tho words carelessly apokeu not iivo minutes In an inexplicably short space of timo Mr. Ross had torn off his femi nine adornments, and fled ignomini ously, followed by peals of laughter of his cousin and Alice Aymer. Rosa -strange piece of contradiction- had began to cry ! ' 'Poor 1 it tie tb i ng ! she's hysterical, " said Aunt Meg, who had just appearod on tho scene. But Rosa was not hysterical. The full, delicious moon of summer was in the raid-heaven that night, as Kenneth Ross strolled i uto the garden moodily puiiiug at a cigar, and con templating the leasibility of leaving Warburgh to avoid tho gtrls' sarcasm. "I was a fool," said ho aloud; "but - Who's there?" It was Rosa, coming from the lower part of tho garden. By tho full brill iant moonlight he saw tho traces of tears on her cheek. "Rosa, you have been crying !" "No, I haven't !" And to prove the truth of her assertion, Rosa bogan to cry afresh. "Look here, Rosa," said tho young man gravely, "I have been thinking of leaving Warburgh to-morrow." Rosa cried ou. "But," pursued Mr. Ross, "I'll stay if-if-you'll only tell me to my faco what you told my cousin when I was hidden away liko a foolish rat in a trap, Rosa. Speak, little one!" "What shall I tell you?" faltered Rosa. "That you love me! that you will be ray wife !" And she told him so--in the lan guage lovers best like to hear. And Mr. Ross stayed in Warburg, and braved the ridicule of Alice and Flora, with little Rosa marshalled on his side- New York News. Loaded Him With Change. A street car conductor told a good story about a raan who tried to fool him. This passenger was aware that the conductor had but a few dollars in chango in his pocket on the first trip every morning. So two mornings in succession this passenger tendered a 55 bill. Tho conductor let him ride gratis. Next morning the conductor was loaded ior him, but tho man with tho big bill didn't appear. Bui, tho next morning he was on hand with his bill and tho conductor acoepted it. He handed the man $2 in coppers, $1 iu nickels, aud tho rest in dimes. But he is sorry ho did it, for tho passenger has the coppers piled up at home aud takes ten of them with him. Tho con ductor gets tbem.- Lowell (iVlass.) Citizen. Twenty-one Children iu Twenty Years. Worcester has many familios of from eight to fifteen children, but so far as heard from, Franois Fervais, a carpenter, holds the palm. Gervais has tho distinction of being the father of twenty-four children, twenty-one little blessings having come to him and his wife, Louise, in twenty years of married life. Only niue of these survive, the others having died in in fancy. The nino are rugged-looking children, and they make the little homo ou Oak Hill resound with thoir hearty sports. Their names and egos are as follows: Frank, ?ged eighteen; Arthur, seventeen; Roch, fourteen; Henry, ten; Louise, nine; Eugene, five; Edward, four; Eva, three years, and Albert, nineteen months.-Wor cester (Mase,) Te legra iv, WOKPS OF WISDOM. Lore is the poetry of the sensea. Love hegiras too well to end well. What a husband forbids a wife de sires. All bow to virtue and then walk away. The morals of tho world are only casuistry. The worst of all misalliances is that of the heart. Love is the .beginning, middle and end of everything. Whoever has learned to love has learned to be silent. Tber? is no grime of chance more hazardous than mnrriage. Thc world ceases to b9 a pleasure when it ceases to be a speculation. It is hard to convince a pessimist that there are any chestnuts that do not have worms in them. You never know how much you have always loved a maa until yon seo him achieve a great triumph. There ought to bo more people who know by experience that it is more blessed to give than to receive. Men are lost not so much from doing tho notoriously wron?;, as from neg lecting to do the obviously right. Some men love a girl for herself, some lovo her for her wealth, some love her because they can't help it. He that gathereth in summer is a wise son ; but he that sleepeth in the harvest is a son that canseth shame. The man who sits himself down on the road to success and waits for a ride will never reach his destination. Areal thoroughbred boy's definition of a sissy boy is ono who will go through a gate when thero is a fence to climb. There are men who think they wind up tho universe with tbeir watch key every night, forgetting that this is a stem-winding age. The ants are a people not strong, yet they prepare their meat in the summer; tue conics arc but a feeble folk, yet they make their houses in the rocks; the locusts have no king, yet go forth all of them by bands. He Ale Ute I'lsio'. Tho boys aro telling a rather good story on a Fargo citizen and police officer, which runs something in this wise : The citizen had purchased a candy revolver for his little boy, which closely resembled a genuino 1 weapon. Last night ho was in the ladies' waiting room at tho Northern Pacific awaiting the arrival of No. 2, smoking a cigarette. It's against the rules to smoko in this room, and when the officer stopped in he detected tho smell of smoke, and after sizing np the crowd finally located the citizen calmly smoking away. "Hero," said the offijer, "if you want to smoke you'll have to go out side." "Don't talk to me that way," re plied tho cigarette smoker, "or I'll blow you full of holes." As ho said this he drew the candy weapon from his pocket nnd leveled it at tho office^ The candy was wrapped in tin foir; and looked like a sure enough revol ver. Thc crowd, at least, took no chances. Convinced that there was going to bo a shooting and that a "copper" or somebody was going to be killed, thnro wa^ a nnanimous de sire among the bystanders not to wit ness tho slaughter of the devoted guardian of tho peace. Evoryone made an attempt at the same time to roach the door. Several might have been injured if the prompt action of the police officer ha 1 not prevented the panic that seemed imminent. Se""" seized the citizen's right arm and pushed it up and back so that if the candy revolver was discharged it would bo in tho air. Then he shouted: "You are under arrest!" and led him ont into the hallway, which was 60on crowded. The citizen still held the c:mdy revolver, which looked formid able enough in tho dim light. He seemed to have lost his bold front and was trembling with fear. In faltering tones he said: "Don't put me under arrest. I would rather eat this revol ver than be locked up in a poli?a cell." "Well," said tho officer, half in jest, "yon eat that revolver, and I'll let you go." "All right," he returned, and to the amazement of every one, including the ollicer, he put the barrel into his mouth and bit off a large section. Bo fore tho crowd recovered froai its sur prise the trigger had dis ippeared from view and by the timo tho officer dis covered that he had been tho victim of a joke tho revolver had been eaten. Fargo (North Dakota) Forum. One More Insatiate. Science is an exacting taskmaster, and he who serves must be ever ready to give up time, talents, hope, ambi tion, even life itself at tho beck and call of tho tyrant. The search for tho North Pole has cost many lives .and more treasure, and yet there is no lack of enthusiasts who are ready to take up the work whero the last victims had laid it down. The latest idea is to explore this region by means of a balloon, which 6eems quite the most visionary and hopeless of all of the mauy fruitless efforts that have been made in that direction. The effect of intenso cold on the gas in the balloon, the possibility ol blinding storms, the impossibility of getting out of irouble in case of accident, and the certainty that no roscuing hand could reach the party, as no ono would know where to lind them, should all be considerod. It may bo among the possibilities of science to store gas under prossure aud at such a low temperature that an amount could be provided sufficient to bridge over any emergency that might arise ;but in tasks of this kind thero is so much to bo looked out for and guarded against that only a tempera ment of tho most elastic and daring description would think of going into it. The history of explorations is punctuated witb horrors and tragedies and fringed with thu bones of martyrs to science This, however, is no bar to future investigations, and there is not the slightest difficulty in filling up thc ranks when tho order comes to go forward.-New York Ledger. Onyx nnd Pel rilled Wood. Probably every visitor to the Co lumbian Exhibition spent some timo in admiring tho beautiful specimens, of onyx and petrified wood shown on that never-to-bo-forgotten occasion. Of late thore have been some exceed ingly fine slabs of this material worked out and used in wainscotings in hand some dwellings, lt is said by an ex pert that in Utah are the finest onyx fields in the known world, and that the largest slabs ever cut out have been taken from qunrries in thal State. Petrified wood is being used in manufactures of various sorts table-tops, panels, sections for man tels, brackets and similar pieces aro brought out and used with exoellent effect, -New York Ledger, '.j BUDGET OF FUN. HUMOROUS SKETCHES FROM VARIOUS SOURCES. Tho City Girl and tho Cow-A Friend's Advtce-Vindictive-A Sensitive Soul-Averag ing It, Etc Etc. And tho girl .with tho city flavor, To the country takes herfllght, To ask as shyly as yesteryear, li the dreadful cows will bite. -Detroit Tribune. A ntrEND'S ADVICE. The Tenor-"It's very hard to koop the wolf from the door." "Why don't you try singing to it ?" -Life. A CHANGA FOR THE BETTER. Dick-"Well, the heiress has ac cepted Brown. He says ho feols as if ho was walking on air." Harry-"That's better than living on it. "---Puck. DIFFICULT. Mistress-Bridget, I have a now bell that I want you to ring at meal times." Bridget---''Shure, ma'am, how kin Oi, when I have to wait ou the table. " -Brooklyn Life. VINDICTIVE. Jess- "Here comes that disagreeable Miss Jone." Jack-"Don't you like her?" Jess-"I hate her; sometimes when wo meet I don't even kiss her !"-Puck. AVERAGING IT. "Are you happily married?" "I-I guess so. Tho extravagance of his protestations of affection for me just about equal his economy in buying dresses."-Indianapolis Jour nal. A SOFT SPOKEN* SPOUSE. Mrs. Knaggcr-"You are utterly heartless; that's what yon are!" Mr. Knagger-"X told you I lost my heart the first timo I saw you ; but you'd never believe mc."-Boston Transcript. DISCOVERED. "Managing editor?" "I am." "I presume, then, that on yon rests the responsibility for referring to my daughter Pattie as 'Fattie.' ""-Indian apolis Journal. WITH A RESERVATION. "Who is the master of this house?" asked the agent of the mau who an swered his ring. "Well," was thc cautious responso, in a resigned tone, "I am the husband and father. "-Life. SKILLED LABOR. Friend-"I'm told that most pre scriptions cost little or nothing to make up." Druggist-"Yes; but we charge for decipheringthe penmanship and trans laiiag the Latin."-Pack. A sEXMirrn: SAHTJ. Mis3 Passe-"3o you aro r????yT?*? rtistl I adore art!" De Auber-"Then I suppose you paint, yourself, a little?" Miss P. (drawing herself up)--"I think you are awfully rude, Mr. De Auber."-Pack. WESTERN JEALOUSY. "I thought you had sailed for Europe on important business," said ihe New Yorker to the Chicagoan. "Naw !" replied the latter, in a tone Df disgust ; "when I got to the dock I found , that the name of the steamer was the St. Louis and I postponed my trip for a week."-Brooklyn Eigle. POWERFUL PLEA. The Judge-"Have you any reason ;o offer why sentence should not be pronounced upon you?" The Prisoner-"I ain't got much to say, but it's right to tho pint. When I shot the feller, I was only doin' it for fun ; an' hero you fellers are wantin' to hang in cold-blooded malice, so you are."-Indianapolis Journal. A CASE OF MISTAKEN IDENTITY. Police Inspector-"It was very plucky of you, ma'am, to have set upon the burglar and BO ably captured him, but need you have injured him to the extent of necessitating his removal to a hospital?" Lady-"How did I know it was a burglar? I'd been waiting up for three hours !or my husband ! I thought it was him.'-'-Comic Cuts. EAST WINDOW -DRES3ING. Applicant-"I eeo you advertiso for a window-dresser." Dry Goods Merchant-"Yes, sir. Have you had much experirnoe?" "I arranged the window display in the store I worked in last, and every woman who passed stopped and looked in." "That's something like. You're just the man wo want. By the way, what line was your firm in?" "Mirrors."-New York Weekly. FOR LACK OF GOLD. Lover (in whisper, 'neath window) -"Aro you ready to lower yourself down, darling?" Isabel E. Loper-"Quite ready." Lover-"Havo you got every thing?" Isabel E. L.-"Yes; everything but papa's pocketbook; I couldn't find it anywhere." Lover (dejectedly)-"Alas ! For ob vious reasons wo shall be obliged to postpone our departure."-Boston Courier. RIGHT IN HIS LINE. Tho Btreet car was crowded, and as it turned a corner sharply a man who was standing in the aislo mado a grab at a 6trap, but missed it and in voluntarily embraced a sharp-faced young woman standing near him. "Oh, I beg your pardon !" ho said. "Sir!" she exclaimed "you aro a boor!" "No, madame," rejoined thc peni tent offender, "I nm not. I am a newspaper man." "You are, hey?" was the contemp tuous rejoinder. "What do you know about a newspaper office, I'd Uko to know?" "I am the pressman. ' The sharp-faced >oung woman turned a little redder, but she didn't say anything more. -Chicago Tri bune. A Curious Cu dom. A Soudau slave has the righi to so lect a master more to his liking. To be safe from recapturo tho bondsman has only to escape by night and snip a bit of cartilage from the ear of the new proprietor,-.^W^shJngton Star. A Hungry Alligator's (?nick Luncheon. Ever since last winter the Zoo has been closed and locked up, and during all that time the big fif toon-foot 'gator, which makes his home in one of the miniature lakes, has had to shift for himself for something to eat. During the last few weeks hunger must haye worried the old fellow, and in the dead hours of the night he told the neighbors of it and startled them, as well, by his loud bellowing, which sounds like a cross between the trumpeting of an elephant and tho roaring of a lion. During the last few nights there has been no bellowing, The explanation of his silence is that he has boen fed. Ho has feasted on the daintiest morsel that ever tickled a 'gator's palate. For some time there has hung around the electric light and water works plant a mangy dog. Tho employes wished for tho dog catcher to come around, but as he was busy elsewhero they concluded to dispose of the dog humanely and make thc 'gator happy. So they collared tho dog and threw him to the'gator, which was taking a nap in thc middle of tho pond. The dog gave a frightened "Yep! yep!" as ho spied tho saurian, and swam toward shoro with a speed that fairly cnn tho water. Tho 'gator blinked his eyes in astonishment and seeinod to ask himself if ho had beon dreaming. Two (lips of his tail and he had moved with tho speed of a rac ing ?hell up to the dog, the immense jaws opened, the lower jaw slid nuder thc dog like a scoop-net, down came the upper jaw, a suppressed yelp from tho dog aud a smile of ineffable hap piness from the 'gator and all wa3 over, so far as tho dog was concerned. Tho old fellow, however, did not seem to bo satisfied, for ho swam all around tho pond looking for moro dogs. Finding none, he returned to his siesta with au eye blinking open every now and then and a glance up ward to see if thc same thing wero go ing to be repeated.-Jacksonville (Fla.) Times-Union. Kmn!y ! She was gotting on backwards, and tho cable car started too suddenly, so sho fell off into tho dusty street, soil ing her raiment, bumping her head and ruffling her temper terribly. As she was stout, red-faced, elderly, and claimed to be a cousin of an of ficer of the road, tho conductor was, or professed to be, much in terror of her, and as he really had rung the beti a trifle too soon he boro her abuse calmly. He was manifestly glad when she ceased talking at him and fell to brushing off her dress with her pocket handkerchief, and his face, as he went back to the rear platform, wore a dis tinct look of relief. But presently tho stout woman discovered a rent in her skirt, and this fact added to her wrath. The conductor had gono for ward to tho grip car and sho felt a great desire to rail at somebody, so sho turned to tho man who sat beside her. Tho man made no answer and only moved a littlo further along the seat. It was a summer car and all tho other seats were filled, eo ho was obliged to stay where he was or go to tho plat form, and presently some newcomers forced him to sit near her onco more. ..After a moment or so of frowning si lcuie spent in examining that awful tear InTi^T^oain^t urned to him and in quired why ho ?ar>?s?t_had the man ners and sense to catch her as sh' fell. --^ "It was impossible, madame," he . answered quietly, although his face flushed under her visible contempt and the inquiring glances cast at him by the other passengers who had wit nessed ths catastrophe, and she rudely queried: "Why, I'd like tc know?" For answer ho looked down at the arm which had been nearoet tho out side of the car, and tho woman was si lent and tho other passengers sym pcthetio as their eye3 followed his for the sleeve was empty from tho shoub der. -New York Recorder. A Silver Skull. Tho police of Quincy, 111., havo ar rested George Burns aud detained him on account of his peculiar actions. It was discovered that thora was a causo for his eccentricity. He had papers which showed that ho was thc head engineer on tho steamer City of Savannah, which was wrecked oil* the coast of Massachusetts on January 18, 188L while en route from Boston lo Florida. He was reversing tho lever when the steamer struck tho rocks, and he was thrown into the mrchinery, receiving injuries which crippled him for life. There wero 118 lives lost in the ac cident, and Burns is one of the thirty seven survivors. For a long whilo ho lay on a cot in the death row of Belle vue Hospital, New York. Dr. Hayes Agnew attended his case and removed five ribs from his left side and tre phined his skull, usiug six ounces of silver sheeting for this purposo. Ho was compelled to wear a plaster of paris jacket for four year3 aftor tho accident. A portion of the lower end of his spine aud both elbow joiuts aro gono. One knee cap is ou tho back of tho leg, and his heart is on tho extremo right side of the body. Ho is now sixty-four years of age, and walks very well and has a cheerful disposi tion. He is a member of the G. A. E., and served during the war on tho ironclad gunboat Essex, which was stationed at Cairo during tho early days of tho Rebellion. - St. Louis Globe-Democrat. Lost a Leg. A dispatch from Rochester. N. Y., relates that Edwiu B. Chapin and Samuel Bradley, the latter a cripple with a wooden leg, wero riding iu Genesee Valley Park, the other day, when a passing bicycle frightened tho horse and itrau away. Tho buggy was tipped over, both occupants were thrown out, and Mr. Bradley's wooden leg was caught between tho spokes and wrenched off. When Mr. Chapin re covered consciousness ho found him self with his head iu the hip of a lady who had witnessed tho accident and had rushed to his assistance. Another sympathetic lady had the wooden leg of Bradley, who was lying some dis tance from Chapiu, and tho two were trying to adjust tho artificial rueinber to Chapiu'sperson. In the moautime somo ono had discovered Bradley and sent for the ambulance, stating that a man had had his leg cut off ia a run away acciden'.-New Orleans Pica yune. _ _ Gold .Mining in Maine, Not a few people in Maine make at least a living hy gold mining. Gold is found iu many parts of tho State, but in small quantities or under such circumstances as to maka systematic mining unprofitable. A "miner" liv ing near Byron brought into Lewiston a few days ago a nugget of gold weigh ing over an ounce. Ho makes two to three dollars a day gold mining.--New York Sun Highest of all in Leavening Poi Sun Flowers. The cultivai ion of sun flowers fur their seeds, which are fed to the poul try, is said to be on the incfooao in Pennsylvania, the country of lino farms and economical, prosperous farmers. As long ago as 182G tho following notice of the value of the sun flower appeared in a Charleston publica tion : Native Oil-Finer, sweeter oil, no country can supply than what we oau, with littlo trouble and expense, pre pare for ourselves. The tall annual sun flower will prove this, its seeds bruised and pressed yield an oil ai sweet and as fine as that wo import from Florence. From a bushel of this seed a gallon of oil may be drawn and with thia advantage, that it can bo obtained at any time, quito soft, bland and fresh. The seed also and mass tint remain, after the expression of tho oil, arc of excellent u^eto feed and fodder hogfi, poultry, etc. But besides all Ih'.'se uses, tho . growing plaut is of eminent service, it having been proved that nair twenty times CH much puro depclogisticated air is exhaled from one plaut in twenty-four hours, in light and clear weather, as a mau res pires in a vitiated and impure state in that spaco of time. Hence tho inhabi tants of close, ill-aired and unwhole some places should be diligent in its cultivation. Too Late. Tho house had been aroused by a burglar. Mr. Jones saw a man with a mabk going through the pockets of his pantaloons, and as quick as thought ho shot at him, tho intruder making good his escape. "Why," said Mrs. Jones, thoroughly awake, "what did you scare mo for?" "I f-aw a man robbing my pockets, and tired nt kim." "Well, ho didn't got anything," said she, complacently. "How do on know?" "Oh, I tried 'em myself before we went to bcd."-Adams Freeman. Jim: How ic Don ic I* Not clio Question. Ii i < enouzli lo know that Hindercorns i ul;cs ?nt . orin, and u jrro't re let* ll ij. 13 .. rlruggiittir. Both the method and results when Syrup of Figs is taken; it is pleasant !*!?4-r?fre6hing to the taste, and acts ?enLly y^t^promptly on the Kidneys, /iver and ?Crsels, cleanses the sys tem effectually, disocia, colds, head aches and fevers and cures habitual"" constipation. Syrup of Figs ia the only remedy of its kind ever pro duce?.., pleasing to the taste and ac ceptable to the stomach, prompt in its action and truly beneficial in its effects, prepared only from the most healthy and agreeable substances, its many excellent qualities commend it to all and have made it the most popular remedy known. Syrup of Figs is for sale in 50 cent bottles by all leading drug gists. Any reliable druggist who may not have it on hand ?will pro cure it promptly for any one who wishes to try it. L)o not accept any Substitute. CALIFORNIA FIG SYRUP CO. SAN FRANCISCO, CAL. LOUISVILLE. KY. NEW YORK. N ?. Hoi to the women they see a woi; way with s oa rubbing av/ ?*" \] out over th I ine -women ' seems to "v Eve] ea P"Egr-r-jT -rj- qjr v Tg^gr v wp ^ Jg-y^ SELL ON HIGH GRADE IN EVEEY I LATEST IMPEOVEM] HAVK YOUK MECHANICAL FRIE to show tho work and material to men w Wo stake our busbies* reputation o wheel uiude in the world than tho Lovel Warran tod lu every respect. All pri Cataloyuo free. ?-Ir there is no agent .Ha nu fact ure re ARHS, BICYCLES AIS JOHN P. LOY] 147 Washington St-, 181 Rroad Nr. * S AAA* AAAil ? Exhausi are made to produce larc use of Fertilizers rich in Write for our "Farmers' Guic: is brim full of useful information fo ?ill make and save you money. I GERMAN ver.-Latest U. S. Gov't Report World's Production of Money Meta ls. The New York World say?: "The world's production of gold and silver for 1804: has been compiled by "Rich ard P. Bothwell, edidor of the F-n ginecring and Mining Journal. lh> result, shows that a little over eight een times more silver than gold was mined-5,205,065 kilos os against 280,146. The increase in the proa ac tion of gold ($27,219,438) was not as great as was expected, the output of the Transvaal reaching only 60,707 kilos ($4'\34G,000;) but the produc tion for 1895 will ho ranch greater. The decrease in the production of sil ver (134,681 kilos) was caused hy the fall in the average price of silver from 78 cents per ounco in 1893 to 62 cents in 1894. Tho decrease in tho commer cial value of the year's production was ?28,812,087, in a total of only $105,' 429,031. There were several serions errors in tho different mint reports of last month, which Mr. Rothwell has corrected, and his revision from offi cial and original sources may ho con sidered final." LEAVE5 ITS HARK -every one of thc painful irregularities and weaknesses that prey upon women. They fade thc face, waste the figure, ruin thc temper, wither you up, make you old before your time. Get well: That's the way to look well. Cure the disorders and ailments that beset you, with Dr. Pierce's Favorite Prescrip tion. It regulates and promotes all the womanly functions, improves digestion, enriches the blood, dispels aches and pains, melancholy and nervousness, brings refreshing sleep, and restores health and strength. 0 0 N, C TO AVOID THIS TJSEI TETTERINE Tbs oNT.T painless and hi mit?? rconx for the ir ?.nt type of Eon.iu, Tetter. Ringworm, ngly roach patea en on Ihn face, crusted adp. Ground itch, chafes, chaps, pix* rici. Poison from irj or poison oak. ? short ALL rrenxa. Send Wo. tai Hf 11-., in or oneil to J, T. Siiuptrina, Ssrannah, Uv. for one box. lt your druggist don't keep lt. GOOD POSITIONS SECURED BY STUDENTS I Dili I'M l'll?iO IJupjJi?t Richmond's Commercial college, I: nt nl> ; Inii cd 1884. ?end for Catalogne. SAVANNAH, GA, OSBORSTE'S AND School of Sliortliand AU???STA. GA. . M . No text books ns-rd. Aitail boniness from diy of mtnrinc. Un-imis Oriner*. colloga carr-nor and good* u ed. Sm I for hmdtomeiy illustrated citv iogue. Coard cbaap. R. R. taro paid to Augusta. HSTEtrflfUH TYBKK ISLAND, GA. T!ii- Hotel 1s noted for its esculent nersian and pp ' ii lid cu .line, ill . t&b'.-i boinia m?p:> ind with nil tba /e ic-icim the mar<ut afford .. An abundant sappi; of fish, cr di?, -hr ir.ji, etc. Loan's Ano oro'ie-rtr? en pne'itl for season. Specially low rate? this n'aion. Write for terms. Speciil inducements to parrie* of tenormoie. ItOIIAN .?& COWAN. GREAT OPPORTUNITIES Are not .'ill en ie- To seo tho wonderful Atlanta Ex tinitiun this fill ?ann? of th . (trent things of a life time. The civiiizeJ world will bi then-. We hive arranged to take lilt) ni our G-'orjtia Raltt-ni-n there, at our own ex t>eti*\ during the ni..nth' . f S-wt-mb r. October and Korembt-r. O r booie, .TRUMPET BLAS IS," is the gre.ite;tfcellrrnnd moH atl ractv* book un th* market E. B. Smith. .Ir-. Ja-wrO >., Gi-, ropo:ts 42 ordern in i-ov-n darn. !.*. J. K wier, P.k-C>.. Ga., ieoo ta 33or ders in Mt ?lay.. .Send for u I m'or.nat inn. >Ol,'TM W K>TKKN ? Ul*!.ISHIM; lt OUSE. No. '208 North Co!.???' Sf.. Na-li villi-. Trim. PARKER'S HAIR BALSAM Oars'it end lx?ait!fici Ute hair. Promotes a Injuriant growth. ire ?cr Fal lo to Beatons Or?y a, Hair to Its youthful Color, '-st Cure: rriilp di.?rai-s & hair tailing. y< jfr. ?ml; I .'."J at nruyybl? A. N. U.Thirty-one, '9J. TJ it looks, who wash with Pearline, when nan washing in the old-fashioned p-rubbing the clothes to pieces, ay her strength; wearing herself e washboard ! To these Pearl , fresh from easy washing, she ..ear a fool's cap unawares." rything's in favor of Pearline sier work, quicker work, better work, safety, economy. There's ot one thing against it. What's die use of washing in the hardest av, when it costs more money? *? ?OVV1 ?musuMUaMMaWaMHi SIGHT! ?ond Cycles. 'ARTICULAS! ENTS, IIOHTESI WEIGHTS I IND oxamlng these machlnoa, os wodeslro .ho know what good work li. f over fifty years tbat Ibero la no better 1 Olumontl. cos, slzos and weights. Call and seo thom. In j-ottr pl:?eo wrlle us. and Jobbers In D SPORTING GOODS. ELL ARMS CO., - BOSTON, Mass. ted Soils, ?.er and better crops by the i Potash. le," a 142-page illustrated book. It r farmers. It will be sent free, and Address, KAU WORKS, oj Kims Strttt, Ksv York.