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Home Distilled Water. Bay a private still-not a whisky still, bat a machine to make pun ?water for home consumption. This in the latest fad. You can pnrehaso Buch a maohine for a few dollars, and ii runs itself.- All you have to do is to clean it out once in a couple of weeks. Just now epidemics of typhoid are frightening people all over the coun try. Its sole cause is bad waor. Polluted drink is likewise accountable for malaria, the germs of which find their way from tLc stomach into flie blood, where they feed on the red cor puscles. Public recognition of these facts has brought a rapidly increasing demand for distilled water. The household sti'l is inexpensive. Water from the city wafa passes inte a reservoir, in which it cannot rise above a certain limit. There it is sub mitted to a process of distillation,that goes on all the time, tho necessary heat being tarnished by a single gas jet. The contrivance is wholly auto matic. The body of an average man con tains forty-six quarts, or ninety-six pounds, of water. He drinks every day thirty-seven ounces and eats thirty-five ounces of water. Of course foods commonly hold a large percent age of water. Tho bones of this indi vidual are nearly one-fonrth water ; his brain, muscles, lungs and heart are three-fourths water, and his blood is more than four-fifths water. Evident ly water is of sufficient importance to tho human system to be worthy of serious consideration. The risk of germ poisoning from this substance is greater than the danger from all other things taken in tho body combinod. A Trip to tho Moon. A voyage to tho moon is the latest project which is seriously put forward as the crowning point of the Paris ex hibition of 1900. M. Mantois, its au thor, does not propose to carry pas sengers to the lunar regions in an orial car, but he expects to bring down the moou to the reach of the .people whose vision extends, say, six miles from tho earth. The plan is to construct a telescope nearly 200 feet in length. The objective glass will have a diameter of something over four fedt three inchos, the largest in the world. The colossal tube will be placed horizontally, and the image of the moon will be reflected oy what is termed a mirror plane, six feet in diameter and fifteen inches thick. He Was Absent-Minded. An absent-minded young preacher in New England, wishing to address the young ladies of his congregation after the morning services, remarked from the pulpit that he would bo very glad if the female brethren of the con gregation would remain after they had gone home. He was almost as badly mixed, the narrator of this says, as another preacher, who, after describ ing a pathetic scene he had witnessed, added, huskily: "I tell yon, brothers, there was hardly a dry tear in the house." Misnomer. "What do you think of Mile Julie's charaotor dance?" "Character dance?" * "Yes." "Is that what it's called?" "Yes. Why not?" "Well, some of the figures gave me the idea that both she and the dance lacked oharaoter."-Chicago Post. Snail Frr Swindler . Some of thc meant st of these are they who reek to tindo ii|>on and make capital ont or the repuatlon of the greatest or American tonics, Hostet tor's Stomach Bitters, hy imitat ing its outward guise. Reputable druggists, however, will never foist upon you as genu ine spurious imitations of or substitute fur this sovereign remedy for ma'aria, rheuma tism, dyspepsia, constipation, liver complaint and nervousness. Demand, and if the dealer be honest, you will get the genuine articles. Leave tho world without regret, for it hardly contains a single good listener. Dr. K?mer'a SWAMP-ROOT curoi ali Kidney and Bladder troubles. Pnmphlet and Consultation free. Laboratory Binghamton. N. Y. Ju>t ns you are pleased at finding faults you are displeased at finding perfections. There H more Cntarrh in this section of the country ihan all other diseases put together, and until thc )a?t few years was supposed to bc incurable. For a great many years doctor? pronounced it a loeal dt?ca*e, and prescribed local remedie.", and by constantly foiling to cure with local treatmont, pronounced it in curable. Scieuce has proven catarrh to bc a constitutional disea?e and therefore requires constitutional treatment. Hall's Catarrh Cure, manufactured by F. J. Cheney & Co., Toloio. Ohio, is the only constitutional cure on the market, lt is taken interna'ly in doses from 10 droi>8 to a teaspoonful. It acts di rectly on the blood and mucous surfaces of the system. They offer one hundred dol'ars for any ca-e lt fail" to cure. Send for circu lars and testimonials free. Address F. J. CnENEY & Co., Toledo, O. F5?-"Sold by Druggists, 75c. A Great 111 casing-Sonic tb lng tn the Uoa<.:i of Brerykody. What would you think of a man who was sick and constantly lived in reach of salva tion, yet because he had failed in other direc tions refuses to take toe blessing that i? before him? This was tho caio with Mr. John S. Cook.of Atlanta. "I have been suffering with dyspepsia for ten y< ar?. I began taking Tyners Dyspepsia Remedy and gained fifteen pounds in thlrtv day. I commend it to the publlo as a great bier sing. I can ent supper, go to bed and sleen like a babe-something 1 could not do bofore." Price 60 ota, per bottle. For sale by all drug gist". Oct nindercornn and Use tt It you want to know the comfort of no corns, lt t ikes them out perfectly. 15c. at druggist?. Piso'8 ?.\\ro for Consumption is an M No. 1 A thma medicine.-W. R. WILLIAMS, Anti och, Ills., April ll, 1894. T?> Keep Yon ncr needs no magic elix r. It only requires a Uti le daily care of the health. Ripans Tabules ro duce doctoring to its lowest cost. Mrs. Window's Soothing Syrnp for children tee thine, softens the cums, reduces inflamma tion, allays pain, cures wind colic. 25c. a bottl Peculiar In combination, proportion and process, Hood's Sarsaparilla possesses peculiar cura tive powers unknown to any other prepara tion. This ls why lt has a record of cures unequalled in tho history of medicine. It acts diractly upon the blood, and by making lt pure, rich and healthy it cures disease and gives good health. Hood's Sarsaparilla Is tho only true blood purifier prominently In the public eye today. $1; six for $5. U..J|. D!|l?k cure habitual constipa K00CJ S rlllS tion. Price 25 cent . ? ASK YOUR DRUGGIST FOR~* IMPERIAL ? THE BEST ? FrOOO ^NURSING hoTHERsjNFANTs/ CHILDREN * JOHN CARLE & SONS, New York. ? CURES WHtHE AU. ttSE FAILS- " j Best Cough Syrup. 'fuste* (Jood. Uw tn tuna Sold br druggist*. C ON SUMPTION >- ; DEATH VALLEY. 1 broad plata stretching westward errand dun, Sparse vegetat ion baking in the son, And mountain ranges further to the west With white snow masses on each lofty crest, Except when turned to rosy tints at morn, Or glowing blood-red just 'ere night ls born. Noshndeto soften heats or sun's fierce wrath, Lizards and scorpions in tho dusty path, Where giant spiders Uko gray shadows swarm Each a small gnomo with misshapen form The yellow rr.ttlo3nake colled low where meets Tho boulder's shadow and tho sun's white heat?. At night strange reptiles crawled 'neath pal lid moon, tjquat toads and insoc.ts join ta tuneless rune, While coyotes howl, and heats are scarcely less Phau in the noonday giaro so shadowloss; /' A world of duiit and sand, low shrubs and stones, And 'mid thom, gleaming whlto, blenched skulls and bones. Tho red Apacho o'er it sweeps sometimes To reinforce its horrors with his crimes, Or Moxicanos, on somo sweeping raid, Add to tts corpses with their bandit trado; Within its silences their rifles crash, In its 3unKluro3 their crimsoned knife blades flash. Too ott onactod on this sconlo stago Aro dramas red wilh pore and flerco with rage, Mon-monsters vying with the reptile hordes Tholr stings thc bullet or relentless sword Death Valley! where tho drought and hot sun's breath Turn skies to brass and shrlvol life in death. -Boston Transcript. RUNNING OUT AN ANGEL ENTS," said Major Fulton, ponder ously, "I've saw hundreds, mebbe thousan's, of 'em, an* I say th' fel ler's bogus, an'll bear right smart ohance o' wntchin' - that's what I think." "He's dead wrong," assented little Ike Bullet, who always agreed with the major in everything. "O' course, his actin' mysterious hain't really nothin' p'tic' lar ag in' im. Folks out yere-that is, they hain't nobody, hardly, th't hain't got somthin* t' be mys-that is, some o' them ducks is mysterious an' some's noisy, like," finished Ike, lamely, realizing that he had almost slipped into personalities. ..Tried t? talk t* 'im,"sighed "Lazy" Wolf, with his' customary stretch. "'S I, ?Fr'rn th' States, I recon?' .Yes,' 's he. ' 'Xpect t' go intuh min ing* 's I. 'Possibly,' 's he, an' then 'e gits out of a good, coml't'ble cheer an' walks off." "Hain't nobody but my clerk gits no talk out of 'irr," put in Colonel Hanks, tho landloru, "an' 'bout all 'e says t' Billy is 'Nice day,'an''Cigar, please. ' But 'e pays 'is bille, an' car ries a roll, too ; I s'pose that's all I ought t' worry 'bout." "Oh, yes 1 oh, yes 1" snapped little Ike, excitedly, "an' all th' time, him layin', most likely, fr t' jerk th' props ?r'i? under ye ! I'm fr startin' 'im, I am, an' pretty quick, too 1" **I wouldn't be too hasty, gentle men," counseled the mild voice of Professor Hendrix, editor ol tho Gold Hill Avalanche. "We may, after all, be entertaining an angel-that is, a 'sucker'-unawares. Let no guilty capitalist escape ere ho has been in duced to invest." "He hain't no capitalist," inter jected the major, scornfully. "He's too-too quiet. I think he'd better have th* run. " "Easy, major, easy," said Hendrix, softly. "Now I would suggest that wo select a committee of, say, two, to sound the gentleman and endeavor, by peaceful means, if possible, to causo him to give an account of himself. If he declines to do so-" The editor concluded with a tolerably graceful wave of his hand, for the subject of the foregoirg remarks-a pale, some what ordinary looking young man, in clothes of Eastern cut-had just en tered and was passing through the room. Time was when Gold Hill had been a thriving, busy camp, with metro politan aspirations. But its boom died, and the glories of Gold Hill wore only a memory to the three hundred citizens (who remained behind because they could not afford to leavo what little was left them of their former possessions), and to the "suckers" who had dropped their money at tho time of the rush. It was still the centre of a fairly good but steadily "petering" mining district, and there yet re mained the hope on the part ol many citizens that some one might make another big "strike," and tho old times come t nek ; in which caso they would be "in on the ground floor." But several years had seen only a steady decline in Gold Hill, and an inorease of prosperity on the part of its hated rival, New Kimberley, tho inhabitants of whioh were wont to pro fess ignorance of the existence of the former metropolis, albeit only twenty miles separated the two camps. lt was in the second year after the death of Gold Hill boom that the busi ness men of that camp began to realize that retrenchment was necessary. There was always tho hope of a "strike," or a chance of unloading something at a good price on some un sophisticated "tenderfoot" ; but, in the meantime, it was necessary to "look after the leaks." The gentle men who kept the dispensaries had as lively a sense of tho necessity for re trenchment as the rest, and they went about economizing in a practiced man ner. There was in the camp a prominent but somewhat impecunious citizen, known as Joe Godfrey, and Mr. God frey had formerly resided in the ? "moonshine" districts. This latter fact gave Major Fulton and Colonel Hanks an idea. The bottom lands near by grew large quantities of ce reals, including cum. Putting two and two together-Joe Godfrey ami the oorn-crop-and-why, it was as easy as anything could be I In a short time! Mr. Godfrey's work made itself felt by the wholesale men, who shook their hea ls over the decadence of bus iness, not only in Gold Hill, but in several outlying camps, af: well. Rev enue officers shook their heads, too, and sought to ascertain the cause of this unaccountablo state of things. But only one of them had found what he sought, and he mysteriously disap peared, failing even to call for his baggage or to pay his bill at the hotel. And Messrs. Fulton, Hanks, et al., waxed fat and prosperous in the midst of seeming adversity, yet were over circumspect, as behooves gentlemen who defy the laws of Government. There were no informers in Gold Hill. The man who gave the revenue officer who mysteriously disappeared the in formation that led to the finding of the still, waa shot in "solf-defense" by a henchman of the ring within a day or two after the officer turned up miss ing. Several circumstances had caused suspicion of the man who had been the subject of the afternoon's sessions in the present instance. Ho had been in Gold Hill about two weeks, and bad hardly spoken to any one in the camp ; he had said nothing about his business ; he took not even a hammer with him when he walked or rode abont tho country (presumably pros pecting) ; and he had been seen on several occasions, after nightfall (bis light-colored clothes were conspicu ous), outside the camp, talking to some one, probably a stranger, who was as yet unidentified, inasmuch as the two had never yet been seen together by daylight or within the limits of the camp. On the evening after tho consulta tion of tho powers in the Merchants' Hotel, Professor Hendrix met the ?tranger, who claimed the namo of Tennison, and tried, in his most suavo and diplomatic manner, to draw him out and to learn something of his bus iness ; but the young man, while will ing enough to discuss matters in gen eral, became as dumb as an oyster when it got to personal questions, and displayed an aptness in turning the conversation worthy of one of twice his years. So Hendrix tried another taok. "Er-Mr. Tennison," he began, In his mildest manner, at what ho con sidered an opportune moment, "I greatly foar you think mo un duly curious about your-ah-er affairs, but-" "Yes, I do," interrupted the other, curtly ; "you're about the seventeenth man that has tried to sound me." And he bit off the end of his cigar in a manner that betokened not a little re sentment. Hendrix was a bit disconcerted but, not a bit cast down, he resumed "I'm sorry, Mr. Tennison, but-er -the fact is, if I must tell you, that that there are rumors-that is, there are those who affect to believe you are not what you pretend to be. " "What have I pretended to be?' asked Tennison, shortly. "J hing-nothing," said the pro fesso.' , i some haste. "That's just the troub They think you ought to- ' "Mi mdrix, we are in free Amer ica, ari not? Well, then, I pro pose to nd to my own affairs ; and as for tin prying gossips you refer to, I haye '.ne sublimest contempt for them." Whereupon Mr. Tennison rose abruptly, went into the hotel, and retired to his room. As a matter of fact, he was through with most of his business at Gold Hill ; but he did not propose-even though he expected, before his departure, to discuss other matters with certain mining men-to give the idle gossips a chance to have any satisfaction out of him. Hendrix, at a session of the ring in his back office, reported his failure to extract anything from tho close mouthed "tenderfoot" "See?" said Major Fulton, knowed how 'twould be. They hain't but one thing left t' do, as I c'n see." Little Ike looked at him interroga tively. "Ye don't mean-" he began, with some apprehension. "Nothin' V replied the major, short ly. "Jes* give this 'angel* th' run, that's all." About two o'clock in the morning Tennison was suddenly awakened by repeated raps at his door. "Who's there?" he called, sharply. "Me-Hanks," was the response, in what tho colonel intended to be a trembling voice. "Open tho door a a minute." Grumbling at thus having his sleep broken, Tennison complied and at oseo found himself covered by half a dozen revolvers in the hands of masked men. Sensibly he threw up his hands and they entered the room, pushing the apparently unwilling land lord, vehemently protesting against what he called their brutality, before them. "What does this mean, gentle men?" asked Tennison, angrily. "Do you propose to rob or morderme? or both?" "Shet upi" was tho reply, "an' git intuth them olo'es an' pack that there grip, dam quick t Ye won't bo hurt ef yo don't make no luss." Twenty minutes later tho urfortu nate suspect found himself some dis tance out of camp, grip in hand, and with footsteps accelerated by tho part ing injunction of his captors: "Ef y're w'thin ten mile o' yere b daylight, ye won't need no break f'st." The New Kimberley Miner and Ranchman of a week later contained the following item,'and marked copies of the paper were sent to Gold Hill "Again have the moss-baoked deni zens of that antique settlement of Gold (save the mark !) Hill stepped on themselves; ono more blunder hnvo they committed, to their everlasting cost. "Three weeks ago, Mr. G. E. Tonni son, a gentleman of onlture and re finement, who represents an Eastern syndicate with millions of capital, went to Gold (1) liill with tho inten tion of looking about for investments. First, however, it was his aim, with the assistance of certain documents in his possession, and under the guidance of that veteran prospector Peter the Hermit, to locate some of the old Jesuit workings supposed to exist there. Failing in this, it was his in tention to invest iu one or two prop erties which he considers are not be ing properly worked (as nothing, ex cepting an occasional sucker, ever ?3 at Gold Hill). "Behold the stupidity of Gold Hill itesl Because Captain Tennison, who is, as wo said before, a gentleman of culture, refinement and education, did not stand upon the housetops and de clare his business to thc open-mouthed multitude, certain persons, ostensibly respectable business men, but who, from the environment, do not know a gentleman of culture, refinement, ed ucation, and good breeding-those swine, because he ehoso to step light ly while in their sty, took exception to his quiet and gentlemanly way of of conducting himself ; and at the darkling hour of two o'clock a. m., when all decent people should be in bed, a cut-throat horde came and burst in his door, and, under pain of death, compelled him to leavo their camp-which he was, no doubt, glad to do. "Like the gentleman of culture, re finement, education, good breeding and unerring judgment that he is, Major Tennison came to New Kimber ley as fa6t as his legs would bring him, knowing full well that tho peo ple of the city, who knew a gentle man when they see one, would treat him with hospitality and considera tion, as they do, indeed, every one who behaves himself in anything but Gold Hill's popular hoodlum style. "The distinguished visitor is at pr?sent the guest of Judgo Williams e nd his charming spouse at their alatial home on Citrus avenue, and .as spent the past two or three days coking at some of the judge's partially leveloped bonanzas in this vicinity." The next issue of the Miner and lanchman presented the following : "Last week the Miner and Ranch aan published (exclusively) the ac ount of the brutal treatment at Gold lill 'of Colonel Tennison, the distin guished Eastern gentleman who is so ourning in our midst, and who, by he way, has made some heavy invest nents in New Kimberly mining prop rty for the syndioato he represents. Incidentally, the colonel states, with ?ut reservation, we may interpolate, hat the Miner and Ranchman is the >est newspaper west of St. Louis and outh of Denver.) "There is another chapter to tho ?tory, and an interesting one. At the ast hour before going to press, we re lived by special courier a message rom Deputy Revenue Collector Boggs md Deputy United States Marshals liewton and Dwyer, stating that they lave arrested the parties who, for two rears past, have operated the illicit vhieky still that has so long boen bai ling tho vigilance of tho Government )flicials, and will arrivo here with .hoir prisoners before this issue of the Elinor and Ranchman (which has the lews exclusive, as usual, the old, vorm-eaten, musty Prospector being, is it ever was, too stupid to know an tem of interest when it sees one) is sold from the press. "And will the venerable, moss-grown Prospector believe it? It affords us mmingled satisfaction to record for ;he hido-bound editor ofthat spavinei iheet that first and foremost among :hoso captured, and more certain of jonviction than he ever was of an hon ist living, is that Fidus Achates of his, hat sweet thing known as Hi Hendrix, ?eretofore editor of that disgraceful *ag the Gold Hill Avalanche-Hendrix, he base, low-born creature whom we lave exposed time and again in the )ast four years, and for whom the >oor old Prospector's editor, on the >ther hand, has (is it because birds of i feather, etc. ?) ever carried an inky iudgel. Will the latter shut up low? "In addition to Hendrix, there are dd Dan Hanks, proprietor o? ihe Mer liants' Hotel ; Jim Fulton and Ike iullett, of the Gold Hill Exchange; dart Wolf, of the White Wings Sa oqn : Joe Godfrey and Pat O'Hearn, ho latter two being caught at work in he still. "It appears that tho night before Colonel Tennison was assaulted, he ac lidentally overheard a conversation >etween two loungers on the hotel >orch, in which one of them said some hing about a "revenue officer." On efiection, the colonel decided that he ras tho person referred to, inasmuch .s several parties had tried uusuccess ally to learn his business ; and the re ult was that he put two and two to gether, and on meeting Colonel Bogga n our oflice, told him of his theory as o what was back of the assault upon lim. Thereupon tho officers went to .lold Hill, with the gratifying result bove recorded. "If, as is believed.the arrested men ?an be conrictod of tho si*0^ta0?iur ler of Deputy-Marshal While some hing over a year ago, it will go hard pith them. At any rate, the people .f this county will be pleased to know hat they a:e safe for good, long terms n the pen."-San Francisco Argonant. A Land and Water Steamboat. An interesting steamer is just about o be started on some lak?s a few miles listant from Copenhagen, the peculiar eature being that the steamer has to nako a short journey overland, the wo lakes being divided by a strip of and. Across this a railway has been lonstructed, crossing a high road, vhich necessitates a gradient on both ides of 1.50, tho metals being ordi lary rails. At tho two ends the rails lave been carried into a^A^r thc vater on a wooden strucTur^ By neans of piles tho steamer is guided >n to the rails, which correspond in )Osition with two wheels fixed on each lido of the steamer. The steamer goes hen on to the rails at "full speed" md travels up the rails on the one ?ide and down the incline on the other, uto tho water, whore tho propeller igain takes over its function. The mgine is comparatieely powerful, and n addition to tho usual propeller shaft here is another shaft, which, by means if a chain, works tho small wheels on vhieh the steamer crosses the rails. Che boat also has a powerful brake to noderato its speed down tho incline. The steamer is forty-four feet long, ?apable of holding seventy passengers, ind tho ongino indicates twenty-seven ?orso power. All the trials have passed )ff perfectly satisfactorily. This reminds us of tho celebrated Drukter Amphibolos, invented by Dlivor Evanp, of Now York, in 1803, vhich traversed land and water. It vas a boat provided with four wheels, br land servioo, and a propelling vheel at tho storn for tho water, lt vas driven by steam aud operated with luccess. It would rattle along over the rround until a stream to bo crossed vas reached, then plnngo into the vater, paddle across, thon wheel np he bank, and away it would go. Oliver Svans was a prolitio inventor.-Scien itio Amerioan. Ynluo ol the ((?uni? Plant. Phon Lee, of Now York, a high-born Chinese young man, who was educated n tho Norwich (Conn.) Free Academy ind Yale College and later married a Nutmeg maiden and became a citizen .f the United States, is about to un lertake in company with his brother lenry a novel and important experi nent related to the oottou and woolen naking business. Together they have eased a part cf the lower S tar te vaut actory at Bean Hill, Conn., from maries Bard, trustee of the Sturte rant estate, and bogan work in their indertoking thi6 week. It is their lesign to demonstrate tho praotical ind pre-eminent valuo of the Chinese amie plant iu tho manufacturo of ?ilk, cotton aud woolen fabrics through i process that is entirely difforont rom what has heretofore boon use I. Uthongh ramie has boon employed in Sngland, France and Germany in naking the goods noted for a quarter >f a century, nevertheless the Messrs. L<ee will apply it in a now way, with i new treatment, and b-tve no doubt ;hat the valuo of tho manufactured product will bo greatly enhanced hereby. Ramie is a shrubby Chinese and East Indian perennial of tho uottlo 'amily. lt has numerous reed-like items, from four to six feet high, with arge, heart-shaped loaves, silvery* ivhite underneath. It is cultivated nore or loss extensively in tho South on States an.I West ludios. Its ino flbro is rapidly coining iuto uso "or almost overy purpose hitherto lerved by cottou. If tho .Messrs. Lee's experiments aro successful, it is Delieved they will provo to bo of al most inestimable valuo.-New York Sun. LIFE AND SONG. If lifo were caught by a clarionet, And a wild heart, throbbing in the reed, Should thrill its joy and trill its fret And utter its love hi love's own deed; Then would this breathing clarionet, Type what I would that I might ba. For none of tho poets ever yet Has wholly lived in his minstrelsy, Or wholly sung his true, truo thought Or utterly bodied forth his life, Or made what God made when Ho wrought Ono perfect self of maa and wife; Or lived and sung, that Lifo and Song Might each express tho others all, Careless if life or art were long, Since both wore one, to stand or fal' So that tho wonder struck tho crowd, Who shouted it about the land His song was only a living aloud His work was a singing with hin hand! -Sidney Lanier. PITH AND POINT. Bighead-"I am very careful how I spend my time." Portly-"Natural ly, as it is the only thing you have to spend."-Truth. Critic-"Is that a sounet yon are writing?" Poet-"Can't tell yet. If I can keep it np boyond thc fourteenth line it won't be." Jones-"There is one thing worso than dying." Brown-"What is that?" Jones-"Living until all tho people you can borrow from are doad." Flora (at tho seaside) -"What sort of a fellow is he anyway?" Julia-"I don't know. I've only been engaged to him since last evoning."-Life. Tho world is Uko an ill-mado plo, At least I find it so, The upper cruat ns hard as steel, The uador soft as dough. -Truth. "Pa, is it right to call a mau born in Poland a Pole?" "Of course, ray child." "Well, then, if a man is born in Holland, is he a Hole ?"-Tit Bits. The man who says to his wife: "Give me the baby, dear, and I will try and put it to sloep," is greater than he who taketh a city.-Texas Siftings. It is not our custom to criticise na ture, but we have no hesitancy in say ing that sho fell down when uho didn't grow handles on watermelons-Wichi ta Eagle. She-"And do you really think that you would be happy with me as your wife?" He-"Oh, I am sure; I havo always been a lucky fellow in games of chance."-Tit-Bits. Ho pointed tho gun at his lifelong friend. And pulled the trigger in morry glee; There was nobody died. But the funny man's hide Was bruised and blackened from end to ond. -Chicago Record. Grant-"Can it be possible that Hawkins is in lovo with that fat girl ? Why, she weighs two hundred pounds at least." Hobbs-"No; I don't be lieve he's in love ; ho's just infatuat ed."-Tit-Bite. "Do you think, Professor," said the musically ambitious youth, "that I can ever do anything with my voice?" "Well," was the cautious reply, "it may como in handy to holler with in case of a fire."-Washington Star. Accepted: She (coldly)-"I hardly know how to receive your proposal. You know I am worth a million, of course." He (diplomatically)-"Yes -worth a million other girls. " She (rapturously)-"Oh, Jack 1"-Truth. "I see you've let your bull loose in pasture, Jim ! Ain't he a leetlo bit savage?" "Sou bet, he's a terror, bnt et's th* only way I can keop them dad gastod city folks from digging lit tle holes nil over ray modder und playin' shinny inter 'em. "-Brooklyn Life. He-"I nover saw anything like this tide. Hero I've been pulling steadily for ten minutes, and we don't soom to have moved a foot." She (after a pause)-"Oh, Mr. Stroker, I'vo just thought of something-the anchor fell oyerboard a while ago, and I forgot to tell you. Do you suppose it could have caught on something?"-Truth. Prince ol Wales Fort. Explorers who recently returned to Quebec, Canada, from Hudson's Bay have revived interest in a half-forgot ten bit of history regarding tho ruins at tho mouth of tho Churchill Uiver. The ruins are the remains of the old Prince of Wales fort, erected in the middle of the last centary by the Hudson's Buy Company. It took forty years to build the fort, and tho wall was constructed of heavy blocks of dressed granite, prepared by work men bronght from Englaud for tho purpose. On each of its four side3 the walls are 300 feet long and twenty feet high. At the base they were thirty feet thick, tapering to twenty feet at the summit. Within were commodi ous stone buildings containing large supplies of goods and stores of every description, and immonse quautities of valuable furs, gathered from every part of the Northwest, even from the shores of tho Polar Sea. Forty-two heavy cannon defended the fort. On Angust 8, 1782, there advanced toward the fort three French war vessels, two of whioh carried forty-two cannon each, and the thirl seventy-four. As there were only thirty-nino mon in the fort the position was yielded with out fighting. All tho furs wero taken to France, tho goods were either re moved or destroyed, and an effort was made to demolish tho fort, but owing to the strength of the masonry tho work of destruction was not com pleted. Muoh of the ruin, which is the larg est in North America, still remains. The explorers report that the old can non are partly or wholly covered with the great stones that have fallen or were thrown frcm the walls. The an cient wells still contain water. The great guns and largo iron balls that lie around are objects of interest to the skin-clad Indians, who sometimes visit the forsaken fortress. England made France pay well for the furs and the damage done, but the ola strong hold has not been rebuilt.-New York San._ Lons: Distance Telegraphing. By tho connection of several difler ent lines telegraphic communication was established between Derby and Cape York, Australia, a distance by the wires of 7246 miles. This is be lieved to be tho longest tolegraph line in the world. The rate of transmis sion was eleven words per minute. There were fourteen repeating sta tions.-Scientiflo American. Changed Name to Help Busluess. Six brothers of New York City, named Herskowitz, have obtained per mission in tho Supremo Court to ohango their name to Herbort. They asked for the ohango because tho name Herskowitz was un-American and a detriment to their business.-New York Witness. Texas has the largest unimproved Mie^f-80,660,773. Highest of all in Leavening POY ABSOLVI Cotton Still King. Tho chief value of corn is as an ani mal fooxl crop, and not as a crop. The farmer's money in corn is export in putting the product into fat hogs and big mnles. It is possible to make every bushel bring doublo tho market price of corn by utilizing it otherwise than as a primary money crop. Par ticularly is this true in tho south,. where wo need tho bacon, and at tho same time have an export crop in cot ton. It will be % great oversight on the part of the Texas farmer this year if he does not raise his own hogs and mules. The huge corn crop furnishes a cheap and ready basis. But in tho meantime cotton is still king in the south. It is worth 8250, 000,000 to tho sectiun, as against a possible 3100,000,000 from the corn crop. Other sections may crown a now agricultural monarch, but the old dynasty will continue to reign in tho south. If the great staple is in super abundance tho very volume brings im mense returns ; if the crop is short tho increased price secures similar re sults. Corn is a good thing to have, and it is gratifying to seo tho south ern farmer increasing its acreage. If ho will continuo to add to his own food crops as a possible and pleasant diversification, his cotton will bo so much clear money and make him rich and prosperous only the faster. Houston (Texas) Post. A Lawyer Outwitted. An old whitewasher stood before the Court as a witness. Tho lawyer for the defendant tried to confuse him. "You are Friedrich Muller?" "Yee." "Are you the Friedrich Muller who was sentenced under mitigating cir cumstances for robbery?" "No, I am not that Muller." "You were, perhaps, thc Muller who was sentenced to two years' imprison ment for theft?" "No, I am not that Muller either." "Were you ever in prison?" "Yes; twice." "How long tho first time?" "A whole afternoon." "An afternoon? And the second time? You must make truthful state ments, as you aro sworn. If you wero in prison for so short a time, what did yon do?" "I only whitewashed a cell for a lawyer who had cheated his clients." Tho lawyer did not ank any more questions on that subject.-Texa3 Sift ings. _ Babydom in Russia. Babydom is an interesting subject in Bussia. Statistics show that 25 per cent of all babies born in tho Ku-..-.inn empire die before they are a year old and 42 per cont before they are 4 years old, and yet the population of that country is increasiug at the rate of more than 2,000,000 a year. Tho cli mate is really an aid to the preserva tion of that vast nation. It is natur ally the snrvival of tho fittest, for only a strong child there lives to grosv up amid the hardships of winter and the strange, half-civilized customs sur rounding it. Cannibal Humor. The missionary stood before tho cannibal king as the cook built tho firo in inc kitchen stove. 'I am greatly disappointed in you," remarked tho missionary to tho king. "Bul, my dear boy," replied thc king, playfully, "you are not in mo yet," and tho missionary turned away ami gazed out yearningly over tho placid bosom of the Pacific. Mr* Collins' Mtory. I am thirty-three years old, havo been mar ried sevonteen y>ars and have four living children. My health baa not boen good sin^e my first child was born. Twelve month? ago 1 was confined, but my baby only lived a few days. Soon after that I was attacked with ir ritation of tho b'alder, choking spells, heart palpitation, fainting spells and great nerv ousness. In thU terrible coudltion I was con fined to my be>l ei-'<t mor tbs. I thought I was dying many times. My dear little help less children, In kiding mo at night, often 6a!d: "Pleased don't die, mamma;" or, "Papa, don't let mamma die to-nijrht." My little boy brought mo a La-lfes' Birthday Almanac ono day, and after reading it I decided to try the Wino of Cardni Treatment. I have taken two bottles of McElrej's Wine of Cardui and three sma'l packages of Thedford's Black Drau.'ht, and am l etter than I have beon foi ten years. I am visiting my neighbors on foot, doing my work with (ase, and eat bettet than I havo for y ears. Gol only knows how grateful I am for this wonderful medicine that has worked this great transformation. MRS. SALLIE COLLINS, McHenry, Ky. FITS ?topped free bl Du. KLINE'S GREAT NKRVB RESTORER. SO ilisafter lirst dav's u>e. Marvelous cures. Treatise and $2.00 trial bot tle free. Ur. Kline. ?31 Areli St., Phihi.. Pu. Thc Reviving Power? of Pnrkcr'n (.inger Tonie make it the need of every homo. Stom ach troubles, colds and nil distress yield to it. Syi\UPflffiQS OISTI3 ENJOYS Both the method and results when Syrup of Figs is taken; it is pleasant and refreshing to the tapte, and acts ?ently yet promptly on the Kidneys, (iver and Bowels, cleanses tho sys tem effectually, dispels colds, head aches and fevers and cures habitual constipation. Syrup of Figs is the only remedy of its kind ever pro duce!., pleasing to tho taste and ac ceptable to tho stomach, prompt in ii* action and truly beneficial in its effects, prepared only from the most healthy and agreeable substances, its many excellent qualities commend it to all and have made it the most popular remedy known. Syrup of Figs is for sale in 50 cent bottles by all leading drug gists. Any reliable druggist who may not have it on haud will pro cure it promptly for any one who wishes to try it. Do not accept any substitute. CALIFORNIA FIG SYRUP CO. SAN FRANCISCO. CAL. LOUISVILLE, KY, MSW Y0HK, *f, ?er.-Latest U. S. GcVt Report Baking Powder ;ELV PURE Quite a Difference. "What's the matter, William?" said the wealthy householder, "Anything gono wrong?" "Not exactly gone wrong, sir; but I want a new understanding. "What about?" "My pay, sir." "Why, you get very good wages for a cook." "Yes, sir. They does very well for a cook, but I overheard you when you were talking to your friends, sir. You called mo your chef." "Well, you ought to be compli mented." "Yes, sir. I'm complimented. But business is business. I can't bo a chef for less than S3, OOO a year. Wages is all right for a cook, but a chef has to have a salary."-Washington Star. Made Sweeter by Salt. Who would think of making sugar sweeter by the addition of salt? Such, however, is asserted to bo the case by Profossor Zuntz at a late meeting of the Physiological Society of Berlin. From his'cxperience he finds that if to a solution of sugar there be added a slight amount of salt and water so weak that it excites no saline taste, the result is extra sweetening of the sugared water. The weakest of qui nine solution is said also to produce a practically similar result. The explanation given of the above seeming incongruity is that the ever so feeble saltness or bitterness imparts un increased sensibility to the sensa tion of taste by the simultaneous stim uli, and hence an appreciation of addi tional sweetness. IN his "Ethics of the Dust" Mr. Buskin concludes a beautiful descrip tion of a truo wife with these words: "So far as she rules all must be right, or nothing is. She must be enduring ly, incorruptibly good; instinctively, infallibly wise-wiso for self renuncia tion ; wise, not that she may set her self above her husband, but that she may never fall from his side." Handy. Ruby-Does Miss Gusher get her beautiful complexion from her mother or father? Garnet-Her father, I believe; he keeps a paint store."-St. Louis Globe Democrat. ASSIST NATURE a little now and then in removing offend ing matter from the stomach and bowels and you thereby avoid a multitude of distressing de rangements and dis eases, and will have less frequent need of your doctor's service. Of all known agents for this pur fose, Dr. Pierce's leasant Pellets are thc best Once used, they are al? ways in favor* The Pelkts cure biliousness, sick and bilious head ache, dizziness, cos tiveness, or consti pation, sour stom ach, loss of appetite, coated tongue, indi pestio-v or dyspepsia, windy belchings, "heart-burn," pain and distress after eat ing, and kindred derangements of the liver, stomach and bowels. GOOD POSITIONS SECURED BY STUDENTS Richmond's Commercial College, Kntnbllahed 1881. Send for Catalogne. S A VANNA I f. G A. PARKER'S HAIR BALSAM Cleans?*- and beautifies- thc bair. Prumntcf a luxuriant growth. Never Fulls to Bcatore Groy Hair to Ita Youthful Color. Cures smtp disrates A hair falling. iOc.i.ndtl.'n.iat l>ni??lrts A. N. U.Thirty-nine, '!)? fllllinmiin TL, mi:::::- 1 n< is with Pearl b A JU washing. Some of your delicate bing. They're meant, especially QA*. A Peddlers and some unsere- uious tJCllU or " the same as Pearline." ] lt,. 1 and if your grocer sends 11 JDclCK honest-send it hack. Yes, ifs ready OUR jjg-Scnt by mail on receipt of io cents in postage stamps or money. NEW Ci brimming ing how really lock There a all over th make-Fis Chains, T< You car BICYCLE the Willia have one. JOHN P. LOVELL , Sole ?. 8. Airont for " STAR " AtTTC The One Ci of farming gradually exhausts the lan high percentage of Potash is used, larger bank account can only then be Write for our "Farmers' Guide,' is brim full of useful information for f; will make and save you money. Ad< GERMAN K -o- j i List of Reliable Atlanta Bus? iness Houses where visitors io the Great Show will be properly treated and can pur chase goods at lowest prices. JTILSON ? COLLINS JEWELRY CO., 55 Whitehall St. Atlanta, Ga. verything In the Jewelry and Silver Line at Factory Prices. 'HILLIPS & CREW CO. 37 Peachtree Street. STANDARD 'ianos and Organs, SHEET MUSIC, MUSICAL MERCHANDISE. FI SE M A M BROS., (jB IO and 17 Whitehall Street, * ATLANTA, OA. -ONE PRICE CLOTHIERS, j "ai Iors, Hatters and Vu rn is hers. 30WMAIMI BROST, FINE MILLINERY, lew York City and Atlanta. Our Atlanta store, at 78 Whitehall St, now open with a complete line of tho latest urlsinn and New York styles In Fall Hat?, onnets and Novelties. You are cordially in Itcd to call to see us wheu in the city or via? in- the Exposition. f* TO AVOID THIS USE U0M TETTERINE J Hf Tho OlfLT painless and h&rmleti J? T CTTOE for tb* worst- tjpe of liczoma, Ln I Tetter, Ringworm, ugly roach patch K? "S OD the face, cru ?toa scalp. 'fl?? Ground itch, chafes, chap?, pim* 1| pie?. PoiseB from iry or pot .on oak. W short ALL rrcuKS. Send ?Uc io H-tjri.pi or cull to J, T. bhnptrine, Strannab. Us., for one box, if jour druggiat don't keep il. 'ou will find it at CHAS. 0. TYLER'S, Atlanta. *ERXTR??TC BLACKBERRY AND RHUBARB -FOR Dysentery, Flux, Cholera .Horbnn, Choiera, Diarrhoe? -AKD siitnincr Complaints Try lt Price 25c, 50c, $I.OO. For Salo by Druflruists or write to r. Stovall Sim-itla., MA N UFACTUB INO PH A RM A fl 1ST. 02 Whitehall St., Corner Mitchell, ATLANTA, GEORGIA. SULLIVAN & CRICHTON'S AND SCHOOL OF SHORTHAND. Thc best and cheapest Business College in America. Time snort. Instruction thorough. 4 Penmen. Big demand for graduate?. Catalogue free. M U.IVAN A CRimr05, Kl.?r Kir.. lUaaU, Ca. F YOU BUY YOUR SHOES FROM ;AW MILLS ; They will give you pleasure Every minute you wear them. L4 "Valait ola, ??.ll Street. CORN AND FEED MILLS. Water whoois and Hay Prosees. BEST IN THE MARKET. ieI.OHCII MM] Mfg. Co., 303. Atlanta, fia. Ivery Man His Own DOCIOL L Vnlnable FAMILY DOCTOR Book >y J. HAMILTON AYRES, M. D., of six lund red pages, profusely illustrated ind containing knowledge of how to 3UBE Disease, Promote Health and Prolong Life. The bi.-ok nleo contains .nluublo information regarding mar ice and tho proper euro and rearing if children. Scud GO Couts -TO Tlie Altala PBMBMH Heese. B easiest cleaning inc Yes, easiest for every ody. Whether you're doing the hard work of house-clean ing yourself, or having it done, get Pearline and get through with it It'll do more work, better work, quicker work, than 1anything else. You ought to look out for the wear and tear in house-cleaning as well as in things won't stand much rub ,to be cleaned with Pearline. grocers will tell you " this ls as good os? [T'S FALSE-Pearline is never peddled, you something in place of Pearline, be ?3 JAMES PYLE, New York. v. An elegant book for your table and constant reference. Send for it NOW, lt's New and Nice, . ' . ' . VTALOGUE full of illustrations, and show the thousand-and-one things . You'll like that. re Guns, Rifles, Pistols-from ie world, and soms of our own hing Tackle, Dog Collars and innis Sets, etc., etc. i see our LOVELL DIAMOND -The Finest Wheel on Earth, ms Typewriter-you ought to There's lots of other things too. ARMS CO., >MATIC PAPEK FASTENER. f .op System d, unless a Fertilizer containing a Better crops, a better soil, and a expected. 1 2 i4?-page illustrated book. It inners. It will be sent free, and dress, AU WORKS, 93 Nassau Streti, New York. i