Newspaper Page Text
OLDEST BOAT Kf?OWN.
Small Craft la Use 4,500 Years Ago Added to a Museum. There is ia Chicago one of the five oldest small boats known to exist in the world. , It bas jost come, all packed ar.d staid for its long voyage from the Gizeh Museum of Antiquities at Cairo. To the generosity of Mrs. Cyrus McCormick the Field Colum bian Museum is indebted for a rare gift. E. E. Ayer learned in the course of hit search for interesting things in Cairo last winter, that there had been placed in the Gizeh museum three boats of marvelous age and curious design. Investigation proved that thc boats were indeed of the rarest value, for never before in arohaslogi oal history have there been discovered anything of the kind which approached these boats in age and interest. A viking eraf t found in Norway sometime ago was in use about the year 1000, A? D., and at onoe became famous as by far the oldest specimen of water craft iu existence. Tho boats in the Gizeh museum, it was decided by the learned ones, wera used at least 4,500 years ago and were contemporaneous with the Dashnr pyramids of the eleventh Egyptian dynasty.-Chicago Journal, Aa Instantaneous Portrait. "I am tired to death," deolared Mrs. Younghusband, as she reached home from town the other evening. "What's the matter?" asked her hus band. "Been having baby's portrait taken. They have a way of taking them in stantaneously now, you know." ."flow long were you at it ?" -"Three Lour i and a half."- Comic Cuts." _ No Tint Slioa'd be Lost By tho*? troubled with constipation In keek ing relief from Hostftter's Stomach Bitters, lae disease is easily re ie v. d in its earlier stage, and as it is utterly subversive of the grcneral health, postjonement of the remedy ls umrife. The ?ame holds good of delay in rasen of fever and ?Rue. kidney compl.ilnts, nervousness, debility and rlieumali-m. ail meals to which tho bitters is particularly al*T>f:d._ "When love of money is the ecpreme passion of life, thea it is a positive anns**. Dobbins' Floating-Doms So ip is the only floating soap that com nins Borax For toilet or laundry uso it i s Incomparable A perfect ?oap for all uses. Try it once. You'll ase it always. Order of your grocer. Ked wrapper. Wo would not find much time to speak of others' faults it wo would bo as careful to Kure* out our own. ? Peela MI Cannot ba Cured by local applications, M they cannot reach the diseased portion of the earX lhere is only one way to cure deafness, and that is by constitu tt'wml remedies. Deafness is caused by an in flamed condition of the mucous lining of the Eustachian Tube. When this tube gets in flamed you bare a rumbling sound or imper fect hearing, and when it is entirely closed Deaf neds is the result, anti unless the inflam mation eau be taken out and this tube re stored to Ita normal condition, hearing will be destroyed forever. Nine cases out of ten are caused by catarrh, which is nothing but an in flamed condition of the mucous surfaces. We will give One Hundred Dollars for any case of Deafness (caused iry catarrh) that can not be cured by Hail's Catarrh Cure. Send for circulars, free. _ F. J. Cnnirtv & Cow, Toledo, 0. Sold by Druggists. 75 .. Hali's Family Pi.ls are the beit. Mrs. Winslow's SoothI iu Syrup tor children teething.softens the cums, reduces inflammv Uso, allays pain.cu res wind colic. 'J5c. a bottle. WHEN bilious or costive, eat a Cascaret, randy cathartic, cure guaranteed, 10c., 25c Take Oars ot your health at this season. See that your blood ls pure, appetite good aad al lt he organs in a healthy condition. Hood's Sarsn parilia ts the great building-up and blood purifying medicine and therefore it is the best medicine to take In the fall, when' the atmosphere is laden with disease germs from decaying vegetation. Hood's Sarsaparilla prevents colds, pneumonia, bronchitis, fevers. Hood's Sarsaparilla !. the beat-In fact the One True Blood Pu r i fl er ?AAJtA BIIIA the beat family cathartic ROG M S rlllS and liver stimulant :5c Home-Made Polishing Cloths. Polishing cloth?, such as jewelers use, are warranted to keep silver in brilliant condition without the disad vantage of a periodical upheaval of the p?ate closet. They prevent, more over, the scratching which thc applica tion of powders to the metal usually produce. To make them, boil soft rags in a mixture of fresh milk and hartshorn powder, and ounce of pow der being used to a pint of tho milk. When they have boiled for five min utes they should be hastily passed through cold water, so that they will be cool enough to wring ont and dry before the fire. After the silver is washed and dried each day, it should be polished with a cloth prepared in this manner. Jost Like Her. He-che asked me what oolor of hair I liked. She-That's like Maude; she's al ways so anxious to please.-Puck. Would Please Him Immensely. Wife-What would yon do if I staid out every night until midnight ? Hubby-Jove, I'd stay at home. Truth. BEA\E SPIRITS BROKEN How often women wake up in the morning cheerful and happy, deter mined to do so much before the day ends, and yet: Before the morn ing is very old, the dreadful BACK ACHE appears, the brave spirit sinks back in affright; no matter how hard she strug gles, the "clutch" is upon her, . she falls upon the couch, cry ing:-" Why should I suf fer so? What can I do?" Lydia E. Pinkham's "Vegetable Compound " will stop the torture an-g} L* restore courage. All such pains come from a deranged uterus. Trouble in the womb blots ont the light of the san at midday to a vast number of women. Bc advised-do as many others have done and are doing-procure Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound at once, and commence without delay to realize the rel ief it is su re to bring you, ? Qr MT to ??ll Lett nee Cream and Townee RpCfl i Crean Span to consumer. Quick M teUar. IUBSBALCOXXIMIOX. Send 96c. in stamps ie* samples. L*TZVCXC%IAXQQ?M Mb Ave. N.Y. A MUTUAL S this story traveled in a roundabout way it may have been elaborated and built up before it came to hand, but the facts, RS nearly as they can be learned, are about as follows: Mr. Melton, a young man interested in the lumber trade, traveled on a suburban train one Friday night to attend the weekly dance at the asylum fer the insane. Mr. Melton is constantly longing for "experiences." He would rather look at an opium joint than a dona tion party, and would rather go slum ming tun attend a Sunday-school pic nic The ball at the insane asylum appealed to his love lor the pictur esque Lowry, the politician, had premised to take him out, and Melton haa not allowed him to forget the promise. Lowry came aboard the train at one of the stations on the way out, and the two were warmly welcomed when they arrived at the asylum, for this Lowry was a coinpaiiioaablo man of considerable influence. As Melton stood in the doorway of the ballroom and glanced at the rows of well-behaved and rather abashed people against the wall, he could hardly believe that he was so different from the others. He reflected that if he were to arise some morning and tell the other boarders that he was the Emperor of China and had more money than he could use, he might become one of this company, Except that many of them were pale and melancholy and a few of them were heavy-eyed, intent on studying the floor, tho assemblage would have compared favorably with any chance gathering of respectable every-d?y people. He knew, of coarse, that the violent patients or those totally demented were not allowed at the ball. The company was made np of convales cents orthose whose vision was merely twisted so that they could not see things in their proper relation. Some of the younger men had attired them selves with particular care and wore buttonhole bouquets. Many of the women', too, bore tho outward signs of gayety. Melton was rather disap pointed. He had wanted to witness something "uncanny." "I want you to dance this evening," said Superintendent Lucas, standing at his elbow. "One trouble with the visitors is that they stand around and stare at the patients as if they were a lot of freaks. Now, these people are sot dangerous. You needn't believe , everything they tell you ; but if you mix. up with them and. are friendly you'll find them very easy to get along with. Come on, I'll introduce you to some of them." The little orchestra was turning up, and a patient who had been installed as floor manager was giving a correct imitation cf a sane man who had been thrown under the same trying respon sibility. Melton -.uJ attended many evening parties, but he felt a new embarrass ment as he passed along a line of de mure women patients, and bowed to eaoh of them in turn. He shook hands with several of the men and then baoked up to the wall to watch the opening. The superintendent stand ing beside him, said : . "Oh, bv the way, you must meet Miss Caldwell." He beckoned to a young woman who was talking to the leader of the orchestra, and as she came aoross the room Melton whistled to himself and said: "Here's a case of blighted love, and abe's not over twenty." "Miss Caldwell, I want to present Mr. Melton," said the superintendent. "He's rather bashful in company, but perhaps you can entertain him. Now I'll go and look after Lowry." Melton found himself staring at a very pretty girl, who returned his Raze in half frightened manner. His head buzzed, and he never be fore was so mnoh in want of a topic. How was he to begin a conversation with a young woman who might fancy him to bo the prince who had come to rescue her from the tower ? "Do you dance?" he asked in sud den desperation. She gave a start, and he imagined that she shrunk back a little. v "I'd rather not," said she timidly. . "Well, then, let's sit over hero in the corner and watoh the others. " They found an out-of-the-way place, and Melton, who had recov ered a little, remembered the instruc tions given him by the superintend ant. "These danoes are very pleasant lit tle affaire," said he. "They seemed to be attended by an agreeable lot of people." "I think it's a good idea to have them," said she. "You know most of these people, of course." "I've met a number of them," he replied. .Ton like Mr. Lucas, don't you?" "Very well, indeed. Nice fellow." "Ho didn't tell you,- did he, that I was a cousin of his?" Mr. Melton began to suspect the nature of her delusion. He resolved to be diplomatic "Oh yes. I knew that," he said. "So you're a cousin of Mr. Lucas?" "Yes, I'm hore- visiting him. I've been here abo at two weeks. Mrs. Lucas is so good to all tho-people here, isn't she?" "Yes, indeod. She's very consider ate." Melton now understood the situa tion. This girl did not know that she was in an asylum. They had told her that she was a visitor. "It's a nice place to come to visit," said he. "1 came out here with a friend of mine, a gentleman named Lowry. I live in Chicago." "Ob, yes. Well, I'm eure yon'll like ii out here. " "I'm sorry I can't etay longer. Tm going baok to town to-night on the late train." "Going away to-night?" "Yes, I have lo go to Milwaukee in the morning. "Why do you have to go there?" "i'm going uj) to seo about a deal in , MISTAKE;., lumber. I may buy some [hardwood lumber up there." "How muoh?" she asked. "Well, she's inquisitive enough," thought he, but he was tolerant and answered: "Oh, perhaps 1,000,000 feet." "Oh, 1,000,000 feett Won't that be nice? I hope you'll get ii.". Melton was rather amused at her in terest in his affairs. Ho began to question her. "Will you remain here long?" he asked. "No, I'm going to leave in a few days and go to Now York. I have an uuole there, and I expect 1,0 take a trip with him on a yacht " Melton repressed a smile at the references to the "uncle" and the "yacht." He resolved to investigate further. He had heard ti. ut put lents were always willing to talk of their delusions. "I notice thf.t yon are wearing an engagement ring," said he. "80 you are to be married, are yon?" For a moment she appeared startled and then she laughed heartily. "I'm engaged to one of the nicest fellows in the world," i?id she. "You're not jealous, are yon?" This was moro than Melton had bargained for. Ho had been impelled by the cariosity of the student, but he was not enough of a ghoul to have fun with the delusions of an unfor tunate girl. He had detected the maniacal tone in her laugh. "Oh, no," said he hastily. "I con gratulate you." She laughed again. "If I remain here I'll have hoi I violent," thought he. So he excused himself and hurried over to rejoin Lowry. As they rode to the city oa the late train Melton told Lowry tha t the most interesting patient he had met was a girl who thought she was only a visitor at the asylum, and who expc cted to go to New York and ride on a yacht, and who, saddest of all, wore an engage ment ring and really believed she was soon to be married to some nice yonng man, who existed only in her dis ordered brain. No longer ago than last week Mel ton was at luncheon in a qu iet restau rant. He looked up from the bill ol fare and eaw at the next table-th? asylum girl ! She was radiantly attired and wai chatting gay ly with an elderly woman. "By George, she's cured," said Mel ton to himself. "I wonder if she re members anything that happened. Ii she does remember, it will be mighty embarrassing if she happens to recog nize me." Then he asked himself whether it would be proper to speak to her in case she recognized him. He knew the society rules as to ballroom intro* deletions, but he had nevsr learned what was good form in the case of , asylum introductions. If he spoke to her he would have to refer to their former meeting. That won ld be pain ful to both of them. Suddenly the pretty girl looked toward him and gave a startled "Oh !" and then blushed furiously,, He was recognized I He simply stared at the bill of fare to hide his confusion. The voice of Superintendent Lucas aroused him. "This is Mr. Melton, isn't it? Come over here. I want to tell yon a story." "No, no!" exclaimed the young woman. But Mr. Lucas, who had come into fthe restaurant to keep his appoint ment with the women, seized Melton by the arm and led him over to the other table. "Mary," said he to the elderly woman, "this is Mr. Melton, who came out with Lowry that night. Melton, I'm going to tell von this. You've met Miss Caldwell." The girl's faoe was one fiery blush, and she seemed ready to cry. "Well, sir," said the superintendent without pity. "She met me that evening yon were ont there and told me that the most interestiirg patient she had met waa that Mr. Melton. She said you seemed to be all right until you started to talk about lumber." "I'll never speak to you again," said Miss Caldwell decisively. "And, by the way," continued Mr. Lucas, "she say<i you asked her if she was engaged." "Really, I must apologize," said Melton, a great light breaking in upon bim. "I wouldn't have talked that way only I thought-well, you didn't say-T supposed she was one-" "What!"' exolaimedthe girl. Mr. Lucas roared and poor Melton collapsed. Then there was a general understanding. They insisted that he take luncheon with them and he did so, devoting the entire time to a la bored explanation.-Chicago Record. The Funnel Trick, Jerry Lynoh has finally learned the funnel trick. He took it in two doses-one on one evening and the other the next. The Senator sauntered up to the Bohemian Club the other day and saw two or three of the younger members attempting a new feat, and he watched them, with in terest. Ono of them stuck a funnel in the top of his trousers, threw his head back, placed a fifty oent pieoe on his forehead and tried to drop it in the funnel by slowly lowering his head. After all had failed Jerry insisted on trying it, though all bad tried to dis suade him from attempting a feat too difficult for them. The funnel was placed in the waistband cf his trousers and he threw back his head to reoeive the oom on his expansive brow. At that junotnre a pitcher of ice water W88 emptied .into the funnel, and by the time Jerry had got through danc ing the jokers bad vanished. The Sen ator's temper improved with dry rai ment, and the next night at the dub he started to show a couple of friends the funnel trick. "It's this way," he explained ; "you put tho funnel in the top of your pantaloons, so, then throw your head back PO, and-vow!" ' Again Jerry was forced to change his raiment, and he is not showing people what ho knows about the fun nel trick,-Sun Francisco News Letter. WOBDS OF WISDOM. Beading makes a full man, conversa tion a ready, and writing an exact man. Virtue, if not in action, is a vice ; and when we move not forward we go backward. Every noble life leaves the fiber of it interwoven forever in the work of the world. Life's a reckoning we cannot make twice over. You cannot mend a wrong subtraction by doing your addition righi It is awful hard 1-p convince a man that his wife loves him when he gets up in the night and finds the match box empty. Many a man who claims to be look ing for work wouldn't recognize a job if it stepped up and tapped him on the shoulder. To be free minded and cheerfully disposed at hours of meat, sleep und exercise, is one of the best precepts of long teaching. If you would be pungent, be brief ; for it is with words as with sunbeams, they more they are condensed the deeper they burn. The wise man is hat a learner in fact, spelling letters from a hiero graphical, prophetio book, the lexicon of which lies in eternity.-The South west. Curiosities of Hailstones. Humboldt, the great scientist anc au undisputed authority on atmos pherio aa well os other natural phe nomena, tells of a hailstorm which, passed over Tuscany on Mr.roh 14, 1813, every ice globule of the entire fall being of a beautiful orango color. Five years prior to that extraordinary event, Carniola, Germany, was treated to a fall of five feet of blood red snow. This was followed by a fall of blue hail, which is said to have given .'the whole fooe of naturo an exceed ingly curious aspeot." Bed hailstones fell nt Amsterdam in 1726, at London in 1663 (during the time of tho great plague), and at divers places in Ireland anJ. France during the early part of the present oentary. In 1823 a monstrous hailstone fell at Munson, Mass. It is describe 1 in the Waltham Register of July 15th of that year as follows : Extremep, four feet long, three feet wide and two feet thick. After the rough part of the body had been removed there re mained a clear, solid block cf ice two feet three inches long, one foot and six i aches wide and one foot and three inches thick. The most extraordinary hailstorm of history, as far as the queer shapes of the hailstones were concerned, was that which occurred on the Wadi oasis in the desert of Sahara, in IS31. Tho individual ice ohnnks were of all imaginable forms. There were wheels with four, six and eight spokes, dumb bells, large and small, triangles, cylinders, both solid and hollow, some of the solid ones being as much as six inches in length and not larger in diameter than alead pencil. The common round hailstones congealed together in their descent, forming into fantastic pyramids, like tho old pictures of the piled-up cannon balls; some took upon themselves the forms of gigantic bunches of grapes, and other masses "fell in the shape of neoklaces, crowns, crosses, eto." In a hailstorm in Wisconsin in 1886 the individual "atones" were of many odd shapes and forms. Some were shaped liko ginger snaps, others like watches, loaves of bread, tlc.^ Atlanta Constitution. Firing a Cannon Un 1er Water. The most curious experiment evei made with a piece of ordnance was al Portsmouth, England. A stage was erected in the harbor within tho side mark ; on this an Armstrong gan o: the 110-pound pattern was mounted. The gun was then loaded and carefully aimed at a target-all this, of course, during the time of low tide. A few hours later, when the gun and tnt target wero both covered with watei to a depth of six feet, thc gun wa: fired by means of electricity. We said "aimed at a target," bat the faots are that there were two targets, but only one was erected for this special experi ment, the other being the hull of an old vessel, the Griper, which lay di rectly behind tho target and in range of the ball. The target itsolf wa; placed only twenty-five feet from the muzzle of tho gun. It was composed of oak beams and planks, and was twenty-one inches thick. In order to make the old Griper invulnerable, a sheet of boiler plates three inches thick was riveted to the water-logged hull in direct ranpre with the cour.-e the ball was expected to take if not deflected by the water. On all of these -the oaken target, tho boiler plates and the old vessel hull-the effect of the shot from the submerged gua was really startling. The wooden tai get was pierced through and through, the boiler-iron target was broken into pieoes and driven into its "baoking," the ball passing right on through both sides of the vessel, making a hage hole, throngh which the water poured in torrents. Taken altogether, tbs ex periment was an entire success, de monstrating, ns it did, the feasibility of placing submerged guns in harbors in time of war and doing great dam ago to the vessels which IQ enemy might dispatch to such points for tho purpose of sLci?iu g citied-7. .vention. in Int xicating Well. When a temperance man bores fot well water, and is rewarded with a sparkling stream, whereof he dunks delightedly, only to find that ite effects very closely resemble tho?e of a good brand of whisky, is he to be banished from tho society of the elect? That would seem to be the problem confronting the people of Mill Creek, Putnam County, Ind., where one Casa Broad&treet, an hitherto upright citi zen, found a well of this description, whose product made it utteriy impos sible for him to maintain his upright ness. He was obliged to secure a cer tificate, based on a chemical analysi-j, from the professors of Depauw Uni versity, that the water in question contained no whisky. But its effects were obvious, and the saloon men near by insisted that Mr. Broadstraet should either take out a lio3nso or plug up his well.-Detroit Freo Press. Spoons With Hollow Handle?. The latest novelty with which silver smiths have surprised the public is the lemonade fpoon. The handles of these spoons are nollow and can be used in stead of a straw. It is told that these hollow handles are easily cleaned. The new lomonade spoons aro things of beauty, with gold bowls in leaf shape. Plain common folk, however, will con tinue to drink their lemonade in the old-fashioned way, for few sideboards are large enough to hold the infinite variety of new things in silver that the enterprising silversmiths are devising to gratify luxurious pocketbooks? BUDGET OE FUN. HUMOROUS SKETCHES FROM VARIOUS SOURCES. Over the Handle Bar-Sore Indica tion-Superior Talent-A Difler euee-The Laugh Saved , Trouble Etc,. She smiled at me as she swiftly passed Over the handle bar; That sonny smile was tho maiden's last, Over the handle bar; She carromed hard on a cobblestone, Rho took a header she couldn't postpone; Her twinkling heels in (he moonlight shone Over the handlebar. -Cleveland Plain Dealer. SUBE INDICATION. "What do you regard as the most reliable weather report, professor?" "Thunder."-Detroit Free Press. EXPERIENCED. She was married to her third hus band and they had had a quarrel. "I guessed how it would be, Will iam," she said. "Iou are as bad as the others."-Judge. A DIFFERENCE. "Madge, you've been married un happily onee; why do you risk it jgain?" "Well, you see, this is another man."-Chicago Record. SUPERIOR TALENT. "Does your wife understand poli tics, Piloher?" "No, but when she puts up a lunch with eggs in it she does not forget the Bait and pepper."-Chicago Record. THE LAUGH SAVED TROUBLE. "Why do you laugh at his stale jokes?" "If I did not laugh he would think I did not understand the jokes and would try to explain them. "-Truth. DOUBTLESS. Little Tommy-"Why does the leader of the orohestra wave his stick about in that manner, mamma?" His Mother-"To keep tho flies off jhe music, I suppose."-Louisville ?ost. OUGHT TO BE EXCUSED. "Every human being should do his share toward uplifting the masses of his fellowmen." "Well, I've done my share-I ran au elevator seven years."-Chioago Record. WHAT PB.EVENTED HEH. Deaf Mute Lover (speaking through finger signs)-"Please sing for me, dearest." Deaf Mute Loved One (ditto, re gretfully)-"I can't dear; I have a sore thumb."-Judge. A NATUE AL INFERENCE. *'The most curious thing in the world," began Bixley. "Hush!" hoarsely whispered the horrified Junkies, with a gesture to wards the door, "?he's in the next room."-Rockland Tribune. DISCOUNTING THE FUTURE. Clerk-"What shall I oharge Love leigh for this suit he is to be married in?" Tailor-"Triple prices. He won't be able to buy another suit of olothes for the next five years."-Truth. ?N LUCE. Ficgol- "I had a bir of good for tune at the races the ocher day." Ellis-"Indeed 1 backed a winner?" Ficgel-"Oh, no I but I discovered, echen I got there that I hail left my money at home "-Boston Globe, A CORRECTION. "I tell you," said Mr. Winterberry after his return from his trip, "there's no place like home." "Yes, there is, pa," said little John ny Winterberry. "Ah? And where, my son?" asked the father. "Home, of course," said Johnnie. "If there wasn't any heme, there wouldn't be no place like it."-Har per's Bazar. BABDAROUS. Wiping the gore from hi? glittering weapon the desperate looking young man seized a piece of cloth and re moved, as well as he could, all traces of his horrible work from the face of his victim. Then he straightened himself up, pushed the unhappy wretch away from him, and, in a voice of thunder,called out: "Next!" He was the apprentice.-Chioago Tribune. ON THE SAFE SIDE. "Hello!" said tho voter to the Bill villo election manager, "Ten o'clock at night, and the polls still open?" "Tee," sighed the manager, "very urgent case." "Why, the law doesn't allow you-" "The law be hang?di" oiied the manager. "Major Jones hain't voted yit, an' he bought a new rifle yester day, an' sent word he wnz a-coming:. I hain't got a thing ag'in the law, but 89lf-presexvation's the fust law er na ture, an'Tm a self-preservationist!" -Atlanta Constitution. \ - WHY. SHE WEPT. Willy-"I fopnd mother the othsi day crying ower your book of poems." His Sister's Fiance (delighted) "Oh! is that so?" (Asido). "Ah! what glory. What fame awaits me ! A man who can bring tears to the eye; of such a ll?nt-hcarted woman as that is certainly great, and no mistake." (To Willv). "She was really weeping, Willy?" Willy-"Yes: she said it nearly broke her heart to think that a daugh ter of hers was going to marry a man who would write such rot as that Puck. A DILEMMA. Old Mrs. M-, who was seriously ill? found herself in a trying position, which she defined to a friend in these words : "You see, my daughter Harriet is married to ono o' these h?meypatb doctors and my daughter Kate to au ally pat h. If 1 cill in the homeypath my allypafch son-in-law an' his wife git mad, an' if I call in my allypath son in law my homoypath son-in-law an' his wife git mad, an' if I go ahead an' git well without either o' 'em, then they'll both be mad, eo I don't see but I'd better die outright."-Detroit Free Press. THE CRUELTY OF WARFARE. "I hate to do such a thing," said the editress of n oampaign newspaper in a woman's suffrage community. "But politics is politics." "What's the matter?" asked her husband, who was waiting to carry some copy into the composing room. "I've written an article that -rill lose the rival candida tess two thou sand votes, at the lowest calculation." "Have you discovered something damaging in her record?" "Yes. I can show beyond a doubt that she is wearing a last year's bon net, and that her clothos don't; fit her, because she makes them herself." Washington Star: AX EVEBT-DAY SCEXE. Pedestrian-"What's all that fust about in that house-wedding?" Resident-"No. A new baby ar rived last night, and all the women ii the neighborhood aro going into ecsta sies over it." "Who is that tall man all tho wo men are crowding around?" "He is a minister, come to asa dalt for the christen^-*." "And . ia ..ac .. ._<rt man who at tracts .o much attention?" "He ia the doctor." "Ah ! I see. That no-account fel low, who is being pushed out of the way or mn over, is the hired man, I presume?" "No; he's the father."-Ntw York Weekly._ Queer Animal Pygmies. Pygmios are not confined tc the hu man race, but are found among the lower animals. Ono of the most re markable of these dwarfs was a species of elephant which formerly lived on the island of Malta and in variou? parts of Italy, where its bones are now found. This creature, judging from the bones which have been col lected, was about the size of a sheep, 30 we can imagine the baby pygmies, a perfect elephant not muoh larger than a cat ; an snimal readily held .in the open palm of a strong man's hand. Dwarf elephants are not unknown to day, and several have been brought to this country, where they seom to de velop wonderful intelligence. The Shetland and other ponies are the pygmies among horses, and in the early days there was a horse hardly as large as a fox, if we may believe the evidence of the rocks which have pre served the remains of various fossil horses. A very beautiful pygmy deer group is found on the Sunda Islunds. These little creatures are not much bigger than a cat, while the young are beau tiful little animals, hardly the sizo of a small rabbit, yet perfect in shape and form. The ordinary musk deer of Central Asia is a pygmy in every senso of the word, and one of the most at tractive of the tribe. To the natural ist it is an undeveloped creature. It is about three feet in length, twenty inches high at tho shoulder, and hos in the male largely developed oanine teeth that project, so that they are very conspicuous, and are used as weapons in the contests which the lit tle creatures wage ono with another. The sperm whale is perhaps the largest, or very nearly the largest, liv ing animal, and in singular contrast to it is the pygmy sperm that was dis covered on the New Jersey sands a few years ago and forwarded as a rare prize to the National Museum at Wash ington. While the real sperm whale is possibly eighty feet in length, the pygmy speciman is but eight. Thia little creature has the peculiar blunt head,the toothed jaw of tho hg sperm, but is a very diminutive edition of it, especially when seen with the man who found it. Its newly bo.rn young are when nursing not muoh longer than a rabbit, while the ordinary sperm infant is thirteen or fourteen feet in length.-Denver Republican, Sheep Jumping Hedges. Anent sheep jumping hedges I may venture here to tell a tale of a certain old rogue who went by tho namo of Tup-Harry. This is how he got his nickname : Harry was a small farmer and he had a neighbor with better means and a better farm than his own. One very dry season Harry had come to the end of his grass for a flock of sheep he possessed. His neighbor had, however, got a line field of mangel wurzel. Harry looked over the hodge -a hedge furnished with outstanding slates-and greatly longed for those mangels for his sheep ; but he did not relish the risk of being caught taking them. So he went in the evening into his field, that was bare of grass, put his head against the hedge, bent his back and called : "Tup 1 Topi Tup 1" whereupon up ran his old ram, jumped on his back, went onto the hedge and ovor into the mangel field and all the flock in Indian file scampered after him over the back of Harry. Very early in the morning the rogue went into the devastated mangel field, put his head against the edge, bent hisbaok and called: "Tup! Tup! Tupi" and up came the ram, ran over his baok onto the edge and returned to the barren q- -ter again, followed in Indian file 1/ al the flock. That was done sevoral times and no sign: appeared anywhere of the hedge heine broken through or of a padlocked gate having been open?d. At last the far mer who was robbed hid himself one night and saw the wholo proceeding. Tup-Harry did not try that trick or again. -Chambers's Journal. Tho Largest Ship. The Great Eastern was the larges, ship ever built. She was C80 feet long. It was in 1851: that tho ship was com menced at Milwall and not until Janu ary, 1858, was she launched after manj difficulties. From first tho Great Eastern wa; unfortunate financially. Several trips were made to tho United States at n loss each time to her owners and nol until she was employed in tho laying of the cable did she redeem herself. After the successful completion ol tho laying of the Atlantic cable she wa? utilized in laying other cables acros; the Atlantic, through the M?diter ranean and Rod Seas. 1888 the Groat Eastern was sold at auction in Liverpool to be broken up. The price she brought was $280,720. It is thought that if sho had been fitted up with the improved machinery of to-day she could still have been run at a profit. Feed Your Bamboo Chair*. The pretty and inexpensive bamboo furniture so much used now requires to be treated differently from the ordinary wooden furniture. As bam boo is liable to crack and come apart, it must be fed so as to counteract the ill effects of dryness iu the room. The furniture should be exposed to the air whonevcr possible. Do not place too near a fire, and it should be rubbed regularly with equal parts of linseed oil and turpentine applied with a flan nel and then rubbod in with a soft cloth. An occasional wash in cold wafer, followed by a thorough drying, is good for bamboo furniture. There are 113 firms in Michigan en gaged in the salt manufacture. The yearly output of the State has in creased within the last thirty-five yeart? from 4900 barrels to nearly -1.000,000. Ills Ono Great Trouble. An old, bedridden fisherman at fash ionable watering-place was frequently visited daring his last illness by a kind hearted clergyman, who wore one of th oso close-fitting clerical vests which button behind. The clergyman saw the near ap proach of death one day in tho old man's face, and asked if his mind was perfeotly at ease. "Oo ay, I'm rich," came the feeble reply. "You aro sure there is nothing troubling you? Do not be afraid to tell me." The old man seemed to hesitate.and at length, with a faint return of ani mation said: "Weel, there's just ae thing that troubles me, but I dinna like to speak o't." "Believe me, I am most anxious to comfort you," roplied the clergyman. "Tell me what it is that troubles and perplexes you. " "Weel, sir, it's just like this," said the old man eagerly, "I canna for the life o' me raak' oot boo yo manage tae get intae that westcoat. "-Tit-Bits. A Bapt smal Sensation. While the sacred rites of baptism were being performed at Friendship last Sunday morning, a very sensa tional occurrence took place. Bev. Mr. Gibson had immersed twenty-nine candidates, and while I'D the act of im mersing the thirtie ist, a large channel catfish ran u*? nu? good broth er's trousers and proceeded to horn him in an unmerciful manner. At this point the ceremony was cut short with "I baptize you," and a general rnsh was made to rescio the reverend gentleman from his peculiar predica ment,- Pontotoc (M?ES.) Sentinel DTJBINO tho existence of the British Parliament it has passed about 20,000 statutes, of which about 5,000 are still in force. Of these 8,300 were passed in Queen Victoria's reign, 151 date from Henry Iii, the first three Ed wards and Bichard II, 23 from the House of Lancaster, only 3 from that of York, 170 come from the Tudors, G9 from the Stewarts, 92 from William III, and Anne and 1,132 from ths four Georges and William IV. The Pill "The pill that will, won't. Their name is le piU that will" is Ayer'i pill to roly on. Proper] stipation, bilicusness, J other ills that result fr pills aro not designed momentary activity, I incapable condition aft is. past. They are con pose of toning up tho < the obstructing condi' liver into proper relatif organs for natural co-o Ayer's Pills during tho been in public use este permanent value in all Ayer's Cati * a ^? years ^ have ma o?ate, an ?3 increases every yeal 2 will see why* . Walter Baker EVER1 By J. HAMILT0 A 600-page Illustrated Book, conti ing to diseases of tho human system, simplest of medicines. The book marriage; rearing and managemea scriptionf, recipes, etc., with a full < ico that everyone should know. This most indispensable adjunct t be mailed, postpaid, to any address or Address ATLANTA PUBLIE 116 Loyd Str I your Druggist don't keep T KIT KR I NE, send 50 cents In cash or stamps for a box to J. T. SHUPTRINK, Savannah, Ga. It Curca all Skin Discours. Jiff ?J, Is interesting, especially when lt tells all about the NEW FRUITS as nell as tho old ones, and offer' all at very low prices. Ifs Free. Send for lt. Address W. D. BEATIE, Atlanta, Ca. . 7 BE CUT KNIFE. Wo can cure you without, it. If you have tho PILES use Planter's Pile Ointment. We guarantee to ?ive instant and permanent relief. Send live two cent ctamp* to cover postage and we will mail FREE packaze. Ad-_ :'irc8H Dept. A. New Sp?nc?r Medicine Co., CHATTANOOGA, TENN. . EVERY MAN His Own Doctor, By J. HAMILTON AYERS, M. D. A COO page Illustrated Itook. onntalnine valuable information pertaining todiseases ci tho human system, ?rbowing how to tr? nt and cure with simplest of medicine.-. Will be mailed, postpaid, to any aduress on receipt o. price, SIXTY CENTS. Address Atlanta Publishing House, 116 Loyd St., ATLANTA, (*A. fl DI 11 M >n<1 WHISKY babitscured. Bookseni U I I U III rree.Dr.B.M WOOLLET.ATLAHTA.QA k. N. D.Forty-two, '9d "ra vSm -a KM J Titi ^ AI ? ? CUKfcS WliEHt ALL ELSE T?lLSr Best Gu?b fjrup. Taxies Good. Use In time. Sold br druggists. A Healthful Temp?rature. As tho season has arrived for tire overhauling of the heating apparatus let each living room be supplied wi h a thermometer as a necessary adjunct. A temperature of about seventy de* grees should ba maintained as most conducive to health and economy. An enervated system, susceptibility to colds, and other disorders are superin duced by overheated apartments. A person who dwells constantly in a tem perature of eighty degrees oannot ex pect to enjoy either comfort or health under such nobygieuio conditions. Health Magazine. Good Shot. "Dann is a good shot, isn't he?" "Very good. We were practicing with oar guns at my country home the other day, and he hit tho ball's eye the first time." "Very clever." "Yes; bat he had to pay f. r the ball."-Tit-Bits. That Joyful Feeling With the exhilarating sense of renewed health and strength and internal cleanliness, whloh follows the use of Syrup of Figs, is unknown to the few who have not progressed beyond the old-time medicine* and the cheap substi tutes sometimes offered but never accepted by the '.veU-informcL Goodness and knowledge onght to co to gether, bat lt is a sad fact that they do not. Don't Tobacco Sp li and Smoke Your J. I fe Awnjr. If yon want to quit tobacco usiner easily and forever, romain lost manhood, be mode well. 8tron.', magnetic, fall of new life and visor, lake* No-To-Bac. the wonder-worker that mak'S weak men strone-. Many gain ten pounds In ten r'ays. Over 400.000 cured. Bay No-To-Bac from your own riruiraist. Under absolute guarantee to cn ,-P. Booknnd ?ample free. Address Sterling Remedy Co., Ch'cago or New York. FITSstopped freeand pormnnentlycured. No Ats after first day's use ol' DB. Kuyi*I GitiAT NEUVE RESTOHE it. Free J? trial bottleand treat ise. Send to Dr. Kline. ?Kl Arch St. Ph?a.,Pa. CASCABKTS simulate I ver, kidneys ml bowels. Never s'ckcn, weaken or gripe, lue. I cnn recommend Piso's Care for Consump tion to sufferers from Asthma.-E. D. TOWK I 8BKO, Ft/HowarJ, Wis., May 4, '9t If afflicted with sore eyes use Dr. Isaac Thomp son's Ere-water.Dmcsrists sell at 35c per bottle. JUST try a 10c. box of Ca-carets, the finest liver and bowel regulator ever made. St. Vitus' Dance. One bottle Dr. Fenner's Specific cures. Circular, Fredonia, N. Y. that Will. * implies tho pills that gion. The name of "the i Cathartic Pill. It is a Ly used it will cure con sick headache, and the om torpid liver. Ayer's to spur tho livor into a saving it in yet more or the immediate effect ipounded with the pur sntire system, removing tions, and putting the sns with the rest of the peration. The record of half century they have iblishes their great and liver affections. ?artic Pills. Htndred a?3~fi?t^? /alter Baker & Ca .de Cocoa and Choc id the demand for it \ Try it and you E & Co., Ltd?, Dorchester, Mass? j*T f~MAN I DOCTOR >N AYERS, H. D. lining valuable information pertain , showing how to treat and euro with contaios analysis jf courtship and it of children, besides valuable pre ;omplement of facta in materia med 0 every well-regulated household will 1 receipt of price, SIXTY CENTS. HING HOUSE, cet, ATLANTA, GA. prsTART U THE When the girl comes to be a woman look out. If she starts out in vigorous, womanly health then it is pretty safe to say she will be a healthy, attractive, beautiful woman. The beginning of womanhood is tho real crisis in a woman's life. Nearly always something is wrong then in the distinctly feminine organs. Maybe it isn't very serious-no matter-thc time to stop disease is when it starts. McELREE'S WINE OFCARDUI will bring girls safely through the crisis. Taken at the first indication of weak ness, it never fails. It regulates the monthly periods with perfect precision. Its action is direct upon the feminine organs that above all others, ought to be strong and well. Start the girl right. Don't expose her to the dangers and tortures of dragging weakness, bearing dowr. pains, nervous prostration and the debilitating drains so common t* women. McElree's Wine of Cardul, is a home treatment. It does away entirely with abhorrent "local examinations." SOM at 11.00 . Bora? bj Dealer? lo Medicine.