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THE NATIONAL BANK OF AUGUSTA
L. C. HAYNE, Pres't. F. G. FORD, Cashier.
Surplus ami ) ?| -I ft (\fifk
Undivided Profits t ?llVjVUV.
Facilities of our macniflcent New Vault
containing 410 Safoty-Lock Boxes. Differ
ent Sizes are offered 'to our patrons and
tho public at $8.00 to 810.00 por annum.
THOS. J. ADAMS PROPRIETOR.
EDGEFIELD, S. C.. WEDNESDAY, MAY % 1899.
L. 0. HAT-,
W. C. WABDLA-J
VOL. LXIV. NO. 21.
Some say that. I'm a baoolcr and I chatter
on my way.
O'er the sands through many lands with
heart of stone.
But there's music in my babble, and my
chatter is a lay.
That I love to" sing when quiet and
Oh. the woodlands are my playgrounds and
the dales my sweet doligbt,
And the shaded nooks my rapture as I steal
along from sight.
Some say I'm never quiet: that I always fret
Through the glades and ia the shades,
But because I like to ramble is it such an ar
Must I fret in some secluded channel,
But I have my dreaming hours, and the bab
ble of my song
Brings its pleasure to the flowers and its
treasures to the throng.
rr o o o A.
There was a sad group of ladies
gathered in the parlor of a pretty
house on the outskirts of the town of
Topham. Miss Martha Joyce, spinster,
of uncertain age, sat in a low rocking
chair her sweet face clouded, her ten
der heart sore; while her two nieces,
May aud Bessie Joyce, twin sisters of
18, blue-eyed and pretty as rosebuds,
sat one each side. The three ladies
all wore mourning and bore in their
pale faces and heavy eyes the traces
of recent sorrow; but while Au ut Mat
tie meekly folded her hands aud sighed
May and Bessie gave voice to consid
erable inward indignation.
"I don't care for ourselves, " said
Bessie, using the plural that meant
the inseparable twiuship; ''we are 1
young and can work,but it is too bani
to have An&t Mattie turtled out of .
house aud home after all she has done
for Mr. William Oldfield."
"Dou't blame your uncle, dear,"
began Aunt Mattie.
"We wasu't our undo," snapped
"He did what he promised to do,"
continued Aunt Mattie.
"And then undid it," said Bessie, j
"We are not sure of that, (rear."
"Now, auntie! He made a will,
leaving you this house and .$10,00)
and $10,000 apiece to Bessie and me." !
said May; "but afterward, if he did j
not destroy it, where is it?"
"Tes, where is it?" echoed her sis- '
ter. "If it was in the honse,surely it
would have been found in the general
turning ont of our household posses- j
"Well, dear, it can't be found, and
we must go back to our old rooms and
try to re-establish the little school I
left five years ago. We have had a
comfortable home for that time. "
For the facts of the case were these:
William Oldfield, a widower of many
years, possessing large meaus, had
been attacked ?ato in life with a pain
ful, incurable sickness, trying to nurse,
distressing to witness and having nu
irritating effect on the nerves of the
sufferer. After enduring the trials of
dishonest servants aud nurses, iucom
peteut housekeepers and careless at
tendants for a time he bad persuaded
his dead wife's maiden sister to give
up a small but flourishing school, by
which she supported hei sell ind her
brother's orphan girls,.md keep house
In default of regular salary,Ue gave
a home to the aforesaid nieces, who
supported themselves by sewing, and
promised a legacy to Miss Mattie, who,
however, hardly expected and never, j
demanded it. Yet, most assuredly,
she had earned it, for her brother-in
law, by reason of pain and bad temper,
made her a slave to his sick whims,
keeping her actively employed as
nurse, as he grew Avor.se and wors?,
till, during the Ia-1 year of his life,she
rarely left his room.
Faithfully and patiently she eu
dured the monotony of her life, the
caprices of her patient's temper, the
fatigue of nursing, till death claimed
the invalid and released her. The
promised legacy .had been left to her
and the girls in a will made a year be
fore William Oldfield died; but the
lawyer said the document was not in
trusted to his care. railing to find it
in the house, the ladies were notified
that William Oldfield, Jr., the nephew
aud heir-at-law of the dead man, would
take possessiou of the entire property
It was well known in Topham that
this heir was by no meaus the one to
whom the uncle desired to leave his
property, as the remainder of his es
tate, after the legacies mentioned,
passed, by the terms of the last will,
to the town *o endow a hospital.
The young heir-at law h ad been on
ill terms with his uncle for years, being
a spendthrift, a gambler and a man ad
dicted to drinking.heartlessly indiffer
ent to his uncle's sufferings and laugh
ing boisterously when the lawyer pro
posed to him to make some compensa
tion to Miss Mattie for her services.
"The old maid was fishing for my
uncle's money, of course," he said,
"though she is not even a relative.
Let her go back to her proper place
and learn, to keep her busy fingers
out of other people's pies."
So the lawyer, Mr. O'Byrne, of
kindly heart and great legal knowledge,
was obliged to give Miss Mattie notice
to quit the house she had been prom
ised should be her own, giving vent
aa he did so to some opinions of his
own ir the matter, not strictly profes
"You are sure you have searched
faithfully for the will?" he asked.
"He certainly had it," said the law
yer. "I drew it np myself -ten thou
sand apiece and the house and person
al effects and furniture to Mi?~ Mar
tha; tho rest of the estate for the use
of the Topham hospital. Dear! dear!
why won't clients put such papers in
proper keeping instead of clinging to
them as if they were life-preservers?
I am very sorry, Miss Mattie. I havo
represented matters to the heir, but he
fails to see them iu a projjer light."
So the ladies packed their trunks
aud gathered in the little parlor to
spend their last evening, preparatory
to an early start in the morning. And
while thay sat,mournfully conversing,
a strange event occurred. A shock
headed boy rang the bell and kanoed
in a note, which ran in this wise:
"Miss Martha Joyce: I do not
know t1 at the disease of which my
Where I glide along at evening softly o'er
the shallow pool,
As they go, cattle low and quench their
And tho ploWboy gets a hatfull of the water
clear and. cool,
Standing where the Bummer posies blos
How I love to see the bossy with her pretty
soft gray eyes,
And a coat as red aud glossy as the sunlight
'in the skies.
If a stream can foll in love then I have sure
ly lost my heart
To a maiden.sunshine laden,who each day
comes to tho wood.
From the banks she looks with laughter
where the light and shadows part,
And I'd tell her of my passion if I
But I'm just a restless follow, and my love
must go unknown,
So I chatter on forever just a little stream,
uncle died was contagious, but I have
a horror of illness in any shap? ?r
form. I therefore beg of you, before
you leave his house, to burn the bed
stead and bedding be used,that I may
not find it when I take possession.
Yours, very truly,
' "WILLIAM OLDFIELD.*'
"Well!" cried Bessie, "if impudence
can reach n sublimer height than that
I ara mistaken."
"Burn the bedstead! that splendid
black walnut bedstead that matchee
the chamber suit!" said Miss Mattie.
"It really seems a pity!"
"Let him do it himself," said May;
"we are not his servnnts."
"I'll tell you what I will do,dears,"
said gentle Aunt Mattie; "I have had
everything washed but the tickiugs;
I'll just empty the mattresses and have
those washed, too. But I really can
not reconcile it to my conscience to
bum up things that are perfectly
"Oh, Aunt Mattie,give the bedding
to old Peggy! She will be delighted.
The blaukets are soft aud hue and the
sheets all clean. The young sinner
only wants them out of his way."
So old Peggy, an aged woman, pen
sioner to all the charitable folks in
Topham, was seut for and told of this
stroke of good fortune.
"We will go with }Ou," Bessie said,
"and help you carry them."
The four women ascended oue flight
of stairs to the room where William
Oldfield died. Everything was in
order there, aud over the mattresses
was spread a white Marseilles quilt
that Bessie put with the rest of the
bedding, while Aunt Mattie and May
dragged the mattresses, to the floor.
"They are all stuffed with hair,
Peggy," Aunt Mattie said. "I or
dered them myself."
"Yes, marm," said the old woman,
feeling them carefully and nodding
her head; "I'm thinking I'll sell the
hair. Husk stuffing will do for my
old bones, and I eau buy some flour
and coal, likely, with the price of the
"Just as you please," said Aunt
Mattie, tying the mattresses securely
with a stout cord. "Now, girls, are
you ready? Hannah will help Peggy
with this bundle, aud we will carry
the sheets, blankets aud spreads."
So whon William Oldfield took pos
session the next day he found the
bedstead bare and a note from Bessie
tied to it, respectfully decliuing to
make a bonfire of the furniture and
stating the fact that the beddiug had
been given away for a charitable use.
"If he doesn't like it he is welcome
to dislike it," that young lady said,
graciously, as she signed the dainty
epistle iu her finest handwriting.
The heir said a bad word, locked
u}) the room and occupied another
apartment, where there had been no
"confounded sickness," as lie said,
and there reigned in the house where
Aunt Mattie had kept dainty neatness
tue confusion of a young bachelor's
household, the disorder following fre
quent late suppers, when the city
friends of youug Oldfield came down
to "make a night of it aud help him
spend the old man's money."
Quiet Topham was scandalized and
sighed over the day when the dissi
pated nephew was a far-away disgrn.ee
for mild gossip, but there seemed to
be no help for the trouble.
The funeral had been, over nearly
three months, and Miss Mattie had
collected a goodly number of little
folks ouce more around her, wjaen one
morning, while Bessie was busy in the
little kitchen baking pies and May was
running a sewing machine in the sit
ting room, there came hobbling up to
the door old Peggy.
"Come in. Peggy," Bessie said,
cheerily. "Yon are just in time for
au apple pie I baked for you."
"Bless your kiud heart and sweet
face,'* said the old- woman. "You are
never so poor yourself but you re
member those who are worse off. But
it's Miss Mattie I want to see."
"You are just in time,then. There's
thc noon bell ringing, and here comes
Auut Mattie and May to help about
"Miss Mattie," said oid Peggy,
"did you ever lose a paper when you
were at the old house?"
"A paper!" screamed Bessie and
May in chorus. "Oh, Peggy, did you
"Ves, dears. I can't read myself,
but here it is."
Aud from the folds of her shawl
Peggy drew forth a large folded docu
ment, indorsed iu round legal hand
on the back:
"Last will and testament of William
Aunt Mattie sat down and cried
softly. Bessie danced around like an
insaue Indian, aud May,seizing a hat,
darted off to Lawyer O'Byrne.
"How did yon find it?" Bessie cried
at last, when she was exhausted with
her solitary dance.
"Well, dears," said the old woman,
"I've been waiting till tue warm days
I to empty the mattresses.,for they were
wonderfully comfortable for my old
bones in the winter, aud so today I
ripped them open, as Mick Calioran
said he'd give a fair price for the hair
and fill them up again with husk.
And pushed in one of them, near the
middle, in a little slit cut with a
knife, I found the paper. And it's
thankful I am Ibis day that's it's good
news I bring, il' your face tells the
"Good news! the best of news!" sahl
Bessie. "You shall have the warmest
shawl next winter to be found in Top
ham, Peggy, and the softest bed."
Aild here May entered with Mr;
O'Byrnei and the whole St?ry had td
be told ?gaiU;
"It is the will, sure enough," said
the lawyer. "And RO Mr. Oldfield
wanted you to burn the bed aud bed
ding! H'm! I shouldn't wonder if
he was afraid of this very discovery
aud wa3 too great a coward to risk
hunting fdrit himself: It is my opin
ion that he will burn the whole house*
down yet if he keeps possession long.
Topham never heard such rioting;"
The will was given to Mr.O'Byrue's
keeping and in due time proved and
executed. The. heir-at-law made a
great bluster, but knowing his rage
?was useless left the house once move.
Considerably the worse for his brief
sojourn in it; The fact that even the
temporary enjoyment of his u?cle's
money was an altogether unexpected
event probably aided his acquiescence
iu the legality of the will.
The house was cleaned and purified
and euee more giveu over to Aunt
Mattie's quiet rule and the happy oc
cupancy of the twin sisters, who gladly
gave Up sewing and teaching to join
in the social pleasures of Topham.
The hospital flourishes,and old Peggy
never tires of relating how she found
the fortunes of the Joyce ladies iu tho
hair mattresses William Oldfield or*
dered to ba burned on the day when
fear made him too cautious.
THE STOREKEEPERS OF GUAM.
An Interesting IC sport from the Surgeon
of the Bennington.
The navy department has received
an iuterestiugreport made by Surgeon
Ward of the cruiser Beuuiugtou? at
Port San Luis d'Apra, Island of Guam,
in the Ladrones, just before that ves
sel left there to join Admiral Dewey
the last of January.
Surgeon Ward had been ashore in
vestigating the commercial products
and mercantile establishments during
the stay of the Bennington in the har
bor, With a view to determining what
dependence could bc placed on tho
local markets for maintaining the forco
to be kept there hereafter by the
United States. He says ho found
eight so-called stores in Agana, the
chief town, besides a number of small
huts, where the native aguardiente,
made of fermented cocoanut milk, is
sold, but he did not ascertain whether
or not these bars were licensed. He
classed the stores under live heads,
according to tho nationality of the
men owning them. In the Manila
stores, conducted hymen fromMauila,
three in number, it was poss, jle to
buy cotton clothes of various hues and
dyes, embroideries, a few ready-made
articles of apparel, buttons, shoes,
paper, pens, ink, matches, aud a small
assortment of canned goods of. poor
quality and expensive, as well as soap,
caudles and aguardiente. In one of
the Manila stores cigars made of na
tive tobacco, which uas of poor qual
ity, were purchasable. The Japan
ese store is the largest and best in the
town. It contained all the goods lo
bc had iu the Manila stores, and in
addition sugar, .1 ap??ese boer and imi
tations of imported wines. It also
sold eggs and bread, the latter baked
every other day, of exceedingly poor
quality. The Chinese store was a poor
one, and was patronized only by Chin
ese. In the chamorro (native) store
Dr. Ward found native coffee of fair
quality, excellent chocolate and a
few cheap cotton dyed stuffs, pipes,
The single American store, though
a more pretentious establishment than
auy of the others, was iuferior in
many respects to the Japanese. A
greater variety of goods was kept, in
cluding a large assortment of canned
vegetables, meats, kerosene, oil, rice,
accordions, hats, stockings, lamps,
lamp shades, crockery, trunks, paints
and nails. Dr. Ward says that shoes
of fair pattern could be made to order
by native shoemakers, and the natives
could also make comfortable furniture.
Flour, which was difficult to lind, an.I
butter and lard, which naturally did
not keep well in such a warm climate,
were expensive. Milk could be pur
chased in small quantities, chickens
and eggs were pleutiful, but the beef
was poor, and there were no sheep in
Pigs are abundant. Yams and sweet
potatoes grow freely, as well as corn,
the latter being used by the natives
to make bread. Bananas, cocoauuts
and bread fruit are the chief sources
of native food. Fishing is but little
attempted. A good chun is found,
and a small oyster of sweet taste.
Deer and goats abound, and wild tur
key, plover, ducks and other edible
birds are plentiful.
QUAINT AND CURIOUS.
Among the Egyptians embalming
ceased about 700 A. D.
The year 47 B. C. was thc lougest
}-ear on record, as it had, by order of
Julius Ctesar, 44? days.
Stockings first caine into use in the
eleventh century. Before them cloth
bandages were wound round the feet.
The first equestrian statue erected
in Great Britain was that of Charles
I, at Charing Cross. Loudon, facing
According to high authorities, the
nerves, with their branches and min
ute ramifications connecting with the
brain, exceed ten million in number.
The use of coats of arms as a badge
for different families did not come into
practice till the twelfth century. The
Germans ai e said to have originated
it, while the French developed, tho
Every day the Thames scoops out of
its banks 150 tons of mutter, or half a
million tons a year. All the rivers ct
the world are doing similar work, the
Mississippi at the rate of three hun-'
dred million tous a year.
At a philatelic exhibition, opened at
Birmingham, England, there are on
view the two most valuable stamps
in the world-a penny and a two:
penny Mauritius. Thc market value
of the two on exhibition at Birming
ham is SI 0,000.
The laborers AV ho built the pyramids
did not work under such disadvantages
as have long been attributed to them.
Recent research shows that they had
solid aud tubular drills and lat he tools.
Tba drills were set with jewels, uud
cut into the rocks with keenness aud
The event of the year in Pliilade
This is the first sho\i of tile sort
Uncle Sam's territory and the tiecessitj
Of tho numerous National ?nd Ir
feront parta of the United States^ the o
present year is in many respects the mi
The Philadelphia Exposition of 3
expansion of our export trade* and it w
Of recent yearsj expositions Of |
manufacturing countries of Europe, att
exhibit at next fall's Exposition^every 1
port. Such exhibits will fnrnl the prin
can or might be exported. i?onl;locomo
The Exposition will be under i.
Philadelphia, and its exhibits will be c<
and continue through November^
The main group of buildings, coi
of the Schuylkill Eiver, fifteen 'minute
agricultural machinery, locomotives, ra
Mr. P. A. Bi Widener, th? stree
elude many well-known Philadelphia bi
In October a commercial Congres
be attended by delegates from the lefldi
tives of foreign firms will atl?ud its ses
The department of manufactured
and will show everything from locomoti
Au important part of the Exposi
renient size, shape and weight to be tr
ITHE PEACE GflNFERENGE I
g IT THE HAGUE. ?
The building in The Hague which
Queen Wilhelmina, of Holland, has
placed at the disposal of the Czar's
Peace Conference is her palace known
ns thc "Huis ten Bosch" ("House in
The Orange Boom has been selected
for the sittings of the members of the
conference. It is a great room, lighted
by a glass cupola fifty feet above, the
There will be three sections to the
conference, each with a task of its
own. The general subject will be di
BARON DIS STA.VX, PRESIDENT OF DIS
vided into three parts. The firs1 viii
touch the question of disarmament,
that is, to what extent the armies shall
be reduced. Questions concerning
international arbitration will be de
cided by the second, while all ger
mane questions will be dealt with by
The palace itself is artistically in
teresting. It was built in 1G47 by the
Princess Amelie de Solmi, widow of
Prince Henri Frederic, of Orang?-.
Paintings in the Orange Room are by
such great artists as Levens, Jordaens
and Van Thulden. There is an alle
gorical picture representing his victory
over wicked temptations. There is a
Chinese and a Japanese room, with
rarest works of art in them. The
walls of the dining room are decorated
by De Wit with scenes from mythology.
Among the people who will be pres
ent at tho conference, though not as a
delegate, is the Baroness von Suttner.
She is tho author of a novel with the
title "Lay Down Your Arms." This
book is said to have had great in
fluence with the Czar in issuing his
Peace rescript. It is said, moreover,
to have been the greatest singlo force
with him to that end. It ran through
a dozen editions on the continent, and
the men of the military countries were
thoroughly familiar with it. strangely,
before it could find an English trans*
lator or a publisher in England..
i" Her Majesty Queen Wilhelmina and
the Queen Dowager are now on a
Continental tour. They will return
to The Hugue to receive the Peace
Conference, ultimately leaving for
Loo, where they will entertain the
Conference twice, at a dinner and a
The Rotterdam Peace Committee
has obtained in a fortnight 15,000 sig
natures to a peace'petition.
Baron de Staal, Russian Ambassa
THE CZ/VR'S PEACE CONFE1
[It is Queen WU bel ra ina's "House JD the W
full of historic
bassador to England, who is to pre
side over the international disarma
ment conference at The Hague, will be
assisted by Professor F. de Martens,
the Russian privy councillor. Pro
fessor do Multens is the permanent
member of the foreign affairs ministry
und olio of tue arbiters ia the Venezu
>?S?T?ONf TO DEVELOP Ot
lphia will be ari export exposition,
ever held in the United States, It f
' which is now laid upon him of seeking
iternational Expositions projected for
ne to be held in Philadelphia in Sept
Dst important to the commercial inter?s'
L899 is an exposition for the developmer
ill be the first national exposition of tba
goods' suitable for export have been h
radting foreign buyers and greatly aidin
ino of manufactured products of the Un
cipal department of tho Exposition and
tives and heavy machinery to the sinai
he Joint auspices of the Commercial Mi
onfined to articles especially suitable foi
cering at least 200,000 square feet of Exp
:s'? ride from the City Hall. Besides t
ilway and street cars and plenty of spaci
it car man, is President of the Exposii
s will be h? ld in the assembly rooms o?
:ng Chambers of Commerce of the world
1 producto of the United States will occt
ive and stationary engines to the smailes
tion will be the exhibit showing how goc
anspoited upon mule back in countries t
ela boundary dispute. The United
I Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland
i is represented by Sir Julian Paunce
fote, the British Ambassador to the
' United States..
The boundless possibilities of the
twentieth century through au unlim
ited and cheap supply of power to do the
work of the world were suggested when
Professor Charles E. Tripler, of New
York, gave an exhibition of his experi
ments with liquid air before the Na
tional Geographic Society at the Arl
i ?M? tr Ulf. lt UOlieu ttuu
as water from the fire, yet it was cont
and not heat that wns creating the
commotion. Spilled to the floor, it
landed with a heavy sound, liko tho
striking of mercury, and yet in a mo
ment it had turned to air, aud was be
ing breathed by tho people who hud
just seen it fall" in a solid state. Cup
fuls of the liquid were passed around.
Fingers passed through the substance
gave a sensation similar to passing
through heavy vapor, yet there was
the heavy liquid, as clear as water,
CHARLES E. TRIPLER.
with a vapor arising from it. If passed
through the liquid rapidly the hand
experienced no intensity of cold, but
if allowed to remain there a few seconds
an icy chill would be experienced, and
more extended contact would freeze
the flesh and bones, until they could
be broken up with a hammer, as a
brittle stone woiild be crushed.
The experiment of making ice over
a fire was perhaps the most strikingly
illustrative of the power of liquid air.
Mr. Tripler took a kettle, filled it with
the liquid, aud it began to boil. He
placed it ou a gas stove so that the
flame could play upon the bottom of
the vessel. The heat but intensified
the cold, as it accelerated the liquid
in turning into gas. Ice water poured
HENCE TO BE HELD HERE.
Tood," and wns built in 1G47. It is n palace
into this kettle still further increased
the process, for it was comparatively
hot water. The kettle boiled and
sent a stream of steam aloft to a dis
tance of six or eight feet. No house
keeper has ever seen her kettle boil
so. All this time the water was being
frozen within the kettle aud beneath
JR EXPORT TRADE.
ollows appropriately the expansion ot
; foreign trade development,
the next three or four years in dif
ember, October and November of the
ta of the country.
it of American manufactures and the
t character ever held in this country,
eld at frequent intervals in the great
g export trade, It is the purpose to
ited States especially suitable for ex
will comprise everything which is,
lseum and the Franklin Institution of
t exports. It will open in September
osition space, will be on the west side
his thete will be smaller buildings for
a for a subdued Philadelphia Midway,
.ion Association, and the directors in?
! the Exposition Buildings, which will
. Probably eight hundred representa
ipy four-fifths of tho Exposition space,
t "Yankee notions."
ids must be put up iu packages of con
vhere there are no wagons or railways.
it in tho flame was a covering of frost.
It was no ordinary ice, either, for,
later, on bein~ allowed to rest on the
table and passed around, the intens
ity of its freeziug kept it firm a long
time, lu spite of the heat of the room. I
The concluding test was in some re
spects a most won der f ni one. Mr.
Tripler placed liquid air in a deep tin
cup, lowered lt iu a jar of water and
soon hart a thick coating of ice on it.
The liquid air turned into gas. He
put ice water in the cup to relieve the
hold of the ice ou the tin cup, and
when removed he had a cup of ice.
This ico cup in turn he Ailed with
liquid air, and then lowered a piece
of carbon in it. A bright light was
the result, showing through the ice
glass as an arc light through a globe.
Thc carbon was burning with a heat
of 3000 degrees above zero, aud it was
ICE ON' a KETTLE Ol' LIQUID AIR OVER A
burning cmersed in a liquid with a
temperature of 340 degrees below
zero, and yet the experimenter held
the cup iu one hand and the end ol
the carbon in the other, the intense
cold preventing danger from heat so
great as to be beyond the power of the
mind to comprehend it.
The Nightmare of 3Iicrobe8.
A woman who had purchased a pair
of gloves w_s given three one dollar
bills in change. "Do it up in paper,
please," she said to the salesgirl.
The request was complied with, and
the wrapped up bille were put in a
"Some persons are microbe mad, "
said n physician in explaining tie in
cident. "Many have it so bad ?'oat
they will not even pick up a pin, \ e
cause it has beeu said that all sorts of
disease germs can be collected under
their heads. Dread of microbes is a
common form of hydrochondria. I
can sympathize with a person who
does not like to see a woman with a
bundle of dirty clothes for washing
get into a public conveyance, but
there is no use in going to extremes.
"Ever since the reseprches of Koch
and Pasteur have attracted attention
the number of microbe maniacs has
steadily increased. Take any morbid
minded person and give him a little
insight into bacteriology, and the re
sult is sure to be disastrous. He
shakes with terror at the first little
symptom of real or imaginary de
rangement."-New York Herald.
Thc Joke on Papa.
It is told of a learned professor of
languages in au English university
that on one first of April he waa asked
to bring home several things from the
druggist's. He carefully made a mem
orandum of tba* articles so that he
might not forget, and was putting his
list in his pocket when his saucy young
daughter isaid, quite coolly, "Papa,
will you bring me a penny worth of
evaporated pigeon's milk?" "Cer
tainly, ray dear," was his reply, as he
carefully noted it down, and doubtless
he would have asked the druggist for
it had not one of the children laughed.
That caused him to look at the entry,
aud he, too, laughed. "You caught
me tant time, my dear," ho said, pat
ting his daughter's curly head.
Suppl v of Timber In Unsaid.
The lack of. timber supply for the
world is not likely to cause much un
pleasantness for some years yet. It
is stated that iu the Province of
Archangel, Russia, there aro forests
belonging to the government which
cover S8,079,400 acres in which the
ring of the woodsman's ax has as yet
scarcely been heard.
Tho ItlgceBt Insect Known.
Tho elephant beetle of Venezuela is
the biggest of its species. An average
specimen of this insect when full
grown weighs half a pound.
The per capita cost of maiutaiuiug
convicts at tho Michigan prison is 38*
cents a day, aud the averago daily
earnings are 35J cents.
THE PASSING OF KASKASKIA.
?he First Capital of illinois "Washed
Away by the Mississippi Uiver.
The last vestige of what was once
the city of Kaskaskia, tke first capital
of the state of Illinois and the metrop
olis of the west, will have disap
peared in the Mississippi within a few
days. There are ijow only a few
hundred feet of the old corporate
limits of the town left, aud the land
ia fast caving into the Mississippi.
Ever since the Mississippi river cut
through the peninsula above the old
town in 1882 aud formed a junction with
the Kaskaskia or Okaw river, eight
miles above theplace where it originally
empted into the Mississippi,the waters
have been washing away the land
upon which the town stood, until now
the last trace of the historic old place
has almost disappeared.
The residence of Governor Bond,
tho first governor of the state ?1
Illinois, was washed into the river
about three years ago, and all the old
buildings, with their quaint, old
fashioned French colonial architec
ture, have one by one followed the
Bond residence, till now a few ruins
overhanging the brink of the river
are all that remain of what was once
a city of 15,000 people, the capital
first of a territory and later of a state.
The church of Kaskaskia was torn
down and removed several years ago,
and last fall the ground upon which it
once stood was washed away. The
old graveyards, of which there were
three, are gone. They originally con
tained thousands of Kaskaskia's dead,
moit of whom were disinterred and
removed to a new cemetery on the
bluffs opposite the old town. Through
the efforts of ex-Seuator Rickert, who
who introduced a bill for that purpose
iu the Illinois Legislature' they now
rest where the waters eau not reach
then), but many were left behind aud
washed out by the river.
The passing of Kaskaskia closes au
epoch iu the history of the west, for
with its disappearance the most ini
por autlandmarks of French coloniza
tion in the middle west will have dis
Monkey? Ht Gibraltar.
Gibraltar is noted for the monkeys
which live there. Visitors watch for
them by the hour and they may nol
appear, yet occasionally in full day
light they will cross the walls aud roo!
surrounding the old cemetery from the
Alameda gardens, where they go tc
drink at the fountain. A dozen years
ago these monkeys, or Barbary apes,
were quite numerous, but there are
less thau fiftv uow.
drinking trough carty ono luuiuiug
bebte thc others had arrived and
watched it in ambush. Presently the
monkey colony came, reconnoitered
aud observing tho truant-as they
evidently considered him-hold a con
sultation. After much chattering two
of the largest apes approached thc re
turned wanderer, who appeared petri
fied with fear, seized him by his anns,
and, apparently strangling bim, threw
him over the precipice beneath the
signal station, evidently iu revenge as
a deserter.-Chicago News.
Office Boy Got His .fol? Back.
Owing to the illness of his r?gulai
boy, a young doctor engaged a new
lad named Tommy Jones. Tommy
was a jewel, aad when Joe, the first
page boy, was quite well again the
doctor was loath to let Tommy go.
But Joe wanted to come back
to his pleasant berth, and pleaded
with his former employer. A new
way out of the dilemma seemed to
present itself, for thc doctor said:
"Joe, if you eau put the other boy
out you eau get your job back."
"Do you mean that I must lick him?"
"That's about it."
"All right, sir."
When Dr. M-returned to his
surgery that night he met a sight he
never bargained for. The glass in the
door was smashed to atoms, a marble
clock on the mantelpiece was minus
dial, glass and bauds, while a hand
some chair reposed on three legs.
But Joe was in victorious possession,
nursing a swollen cheek. .
"Tommy's gone, sir," he said, with
a grin.-Weekly Telegraph.
Boom at the Table.
At a recent banquet giveu in Roch
ester two of the expected guests were
unable to be piessnt The order ol
seating h :ppeued to be such that a
particularly jovial and companionable
gentleman sat with oue of the vacant
chairs ou each side of him. The
empty chairs and first course of oys
ters were left iu place for some time,
in case the expected guests, arrived.
The solitary gentleman, therefore,
could move neither to tho right nor to
the left, but amiably beamed through
out the repast, seemingly noue thc
worse for his-enforced isolatiou. Af
ter the banquet some one innocently
"How did you enjoy yourself, old.
"First rate,"' he replied, briskly
enough. "I sat next to a couple of
fellows who weren't there."-Roches
Mr. Bopd ami Mr. CJiontp.
At a dinner porty at which Speaket
Peed and Ambassador Chonte were
present, the latter spoke of his share
in drawing np the new constitution of
New York. He said that was a noble
document, and ic no part ?vas he so
much interested ns that which pro
hibited the members of the New York
assembly from accepting liasses from
railroads. In conclusion he said: "1
am happy to say that never in my life
did I ride on a railroad pass." One
of the members of the dinner party
looked at Choate with hearty admira
tion, and said: "Well, 1 wish leonid
Kay that." Speaker Heed looked at
the speaker in his whimsical way for
a moment, and then solemnly said"
"Well, why don't yon? Choate did."
- The Argonaut.
To drowsy lessons hardly learned
And easily forgot,
A schoolboy ail unwilling turned
And wailed his bitter lot.
? fly apon the window pane
Buzzed for his freedom lost,
And begged to have it back again,
E'en mid the killing frost.
Each dancing sunbeam mocked anew
Tho schoolboy's weary plight;
The ?ky sb one tranquilly and blue,
All seemed serene and right
For everybody, save the few
Who feel tho iron rule
Which gives poor youngsters tasks to do
And keeps them shut in school.
And now. a man, he sees once more
In day dreams as they pass
Thu schoolroom where he watched of yore
Tbe fly upon the glass.
And now he.knows no thought of play,
But turns with gathering doubt
To sterner lessons, day by day,
And school is never out.
Bill-Is that parrot of yours up to
date? Jill-I should say so! He usas
"I can't see any music in that se
lection." "I can't, either, but if
there is any he's going to bring it out
or break the piano."
Husband-Why are you so angry at
the doctor? Wife-Wheu I told him
I had a terrible tired feeling, he told
me to show him my tongue.
Jackson-Easy ton is very courteous
to his wile, isn't he? Mrs. J.-Oh,
yes; he treats her almost as politely
as if she was a total stranger.
Bacon-I can't understand why
your wife calls that Wagnerian stuff
heavenly music. Egbert-Because
it sounds like thunder, I suppose.
Sou-Papa, what do you call your
office? Editor-The sanctum sancto
rum. Sou-Then I suppose mamma's
is a spanknm spnnktorum, isn't it?
"Isn't there something the matter
with the feet of this poem?" asked the
editor. "Sir," replied the haughty
mau; "I am a poet, not a chiropo?
Love is indeed a paradox.
Lovers? As to these, :
Some tbink they are a pair of ducks,
And some a pair of geeso.
Diggs-Did you employ a typewriter
to copy your manuscript? Biggs-I
thought I did, but on looking over the
work I discovered that I had employed
Hamm-There was a time iu my
life when the height of my ambition
was to own a diamond to wear iu the
bosom of my shirt. Fatt-Aud now
you are sa.isfied to own a shirt.
Giles-I suppose you got paid for
. . e magazine jokes? Smiles ?
m didn't imagine I wrote
.n, did you? Gile3-Ob,
9 could tell that by reading
.d Featherbush is a pretty
ng man, isn't he? Irene '-,
now. He has the roughest
. - Say, do tell me what
g to wear to the party this
'S. Funk, I can understand
wouldn't live in a small
MI wu. What do you mean?" "Any
body can live in a city, but it takes
people who have mental resources to
snjoy life in a small town."
She-I don't know what to do with
my son. My husbaud wants him to
be a merchant. I would like him to
study, but he has made up his mind
to be au actor and nothing will change
bim. He-How old is he? She
He will be six on his next birthday.
A Shrewd Scheme.
A Boston restaurant keeper was
standing in front of his establishment
grumbling at the hard times aud la
menting his fate. Although he could
see people walking up and down the
streets, they all seemed to avoid him;
aud even the visitors to the town, who
could not be supposed to know any
thing about his place, seemed to avoid
it instinctively. He meditated " much
on his misfortune, and racked his
brains to devise some scheme that
would improve his business. At last
au idea occurred to him.
Going to a bronze-founder, he
ordered several peculiar tablets of the
kind that are seen in different parts of
Boston on the fronts of houses to
commemorate the birthplace or board
ing-house of some one or another of
the city's great men. Fastening these
tablets on conspicuous parts of his
building, he laid in a large supply of
eatables, aud awaited the result.
Now the great point about the tab
lets was that they were utterly unin
telligible-the inscriptions being half
obliterate Latin-but their effect was
electrical. Every true Bostonian
glanced at them, took it for granted
that the restaurant was one of the
many with a historic flavor, and pat
ronized it at once. The strangers
that visited the city looked at the tab
lets hopelessly, then patronized the
house iu the hope that they would
find some one who could explain the
strange inscriptions. -Harper's Bound
The Secret of the Dreyfus Case.
The fact that Dreyfus is a Jew fur
nishes a key to the mysteries of the
cause celebre which is connected with
his name. It is impossible to under
stand how the French nation-an im
pulsive, generous people, who, although
blind iu their anger,are temperament
ally incapable of remaining deaf to the
appeal of justice after the initial fury
of their wrath has p^ent itself-can
persist in withholding from the con
demned officer an opportunity to jns
tify himself before the courts of his
country. The paradox may be under
stood when it is remembered that,
aflcr the memory of Sedan, the great
est passion of the French is a deep
and enduring hatred of the Jews as a
race. The cry, "A bas les juifs!" is
almost as potent iu France today as
was that other cry at the close of the
last ceutury-the cry that gave utter
ance to the hot resentment of more
than a hundred years and drove the
disdainful Marie Antoinette to the
guillotine-"A bas le roi!"-S. Ivan
Tonjoroff, in The Arena.
Very Much Mixed.
At auction sales things are very much
mixed. In a recent catalogue there
was a "Court waistcoat, worn by King
('liarles ll,embroidered aud worked in
silk," aud "a jockey's cap aud sleeve
worn by the late Fred Archer when he
rode for Lord Rosebery,"