Newspaper Page Text
belonging to or- favorable
Dmocratic party in this District,
' e requested to meet at New
40L.. I, ow Saturday,, 13th inst.
'j. eauilay Globs are particularly
o send a full representation, in
-eh.we may perfect the organtiza
4. .J. CALDWELL
- ~Ch Cea.E&.com
I- 'ulty experienced in getting
agtirom Assignees in rases of
U-16p - the notices necessary to
mlied by us, without ex
t s an accommodation to the
--am-4which payments, in some
ankrupt's case is closed,
- AMMh& adat as, readers the- alterna
of hereafter demanding
iseal other papers are
- Assignees who have al
hA their notices published, and
0 ed is*f are notifled that
come orward and settle,
- -nal diharge - of the Bank
enry Summer, Esq.,
IM repleasure yesterday to
-geh ma eieee Mend of the olden
-NJI..J*aser, of the Charleston
-ho b on a business visit to our
isthevlde mecam of
ac.Apecurtar force of
ai 1aWppy economy of verbiage
omarked a.Wes of this champion of
i d, the friends of that
our sympathies in th
MONT" aned iM &e late election. We
b ot apime as to their success,
d naest hope was entertained
I h:h-4it "r t *euld have been other
E but echo the public -senti
yiaa.- tbav no truer-hearted,
-gendem,thanl Gapt. Sig
sw e bt qualified for the
a is ne am ng
W~bI~ ~UW th4gimptoitndcef im
Se ~ ~ ai il erogtng'of t
- 9 aleer the iet,
- -,, twny cesoto
4 ~ ~ t4t his pithe a toa
6Gatter, an -i yo amon
*n*o%ic te soderi
sail a irempleort heno
~~4iIas heierartfom tohe s'of
*babeurIs euseegr radiea
4L~~ *-)1 ' h erensi the ouded,
4~~~~ dligt of~hpelef -atihe fte
$0 cc d, an th .hot
- -b~ L if,aaerdef
-l~s m a l ha rod
~~ies vr- manfond. edi
- ou~~eaiM toh a pitch oha
~~~5Tj~ The Vilainsblot, byt
- -tfo Jie ts,o
etetimt re rthy
thehouehodouircle, n o
t~e~deednl s ap r su of twoual
oSc ith he cgh wllcavte tou-bte
.fqmdng fI Puisdy byoWin in&
WJne allsne a.eior.We
la&8 intfsconderaintes is art
- haso n ber ko Jsne, thev~
~d~4~)ms.~n hie ok Tal s a
A e a se.and asnyshing.
Tha dpew rac'haT work to do, and
It behoove'tat thearty be jp and do
ing. Supine. indifference mustbe shaken
oH and, a-# active, wholesome, life-like
energy take its place inqtead. The dis
tri'et 4ections are over, and the results
show that all hope is not yet dead, and
that wherever the effort was made the
democratic and conservative elements
have largely increased, and in many dis
tricts have swept away like a flood all op
opposition. A partial but glorious victory
has been achieved. Wherever heart and
band were thrown into the work, the re-*
sults have been equal to, if not beyond
expectation. We must not rest here,
however, but once more to the breech,
again and again, antil radicalism be root
ed from the soil. It may, be sooner or
it may be later, but that time imust, will
and shall come, if the people are but true
to themselves, and appreciate the princi
ples involved. The idea, entertained by
many, that it is idle and useless to at
tempt to stem the radical current, is sin
fully absurd, and unworthy a place in
the mind. Already has the reverse been
proven, and had a greater and more unan
imous determination prevailed, very few
of the radical tickets but would have
died,the Oeath they deserve. Unity in
feeling and action, and with shoulders to
the wheel, now iolling over the land,
north, south, eastand west, and demo
cracy will triumph. "The clarion. notes
of democracy will wake an enthasiastic
response, unmatched for years, and be
the signal for victory in the coming
time.," The testing struggle is yet to
come, in the presidential election', but
that Grant, the debauched nominee of
the Chicago mongrelite convention, will
ride into the despotism cut out for him,
is a pill to large and nauseous to swallow.
The people are showing too healthy a.
tone to endorse the- tool of Spoon.Butler,
and the slave of passions and vices, too
well known to be repeated. This plank
in the platform'is weak, and Grant must
fall through. Whoever is set before the
people by the New York Convention, be
he Mr. Pendleton, or other, we believe
will utterly route the man who only
once showed a genius, and that was when
he became a tanner, and scraped hides in
Let the democracy unite, watch and
A few facts in regard to the so-called
hero, who has been nominated by the
Chicago Convention for the Presidency,
will pro~ve interesting. -The following is
a brief history of his life, and the facts
show nothing creditable, and- everything
as to his unfitness, except for radical pur
poses, for so eminent a pqsition:
Hie was born at Point Pleasant, Ohio,
ant, and resigned is1853a captain. In
1854 was applicant for a clerkship to the
IMthonotary of St. Louis; the applica
tion. was cested "for~want of capacity."
He then went to. Galena-and became a
tanner. In. August, 186-1, he entered
the Federal army as a captain, was trans
ferred:to-the regulae service, where he
sti remiains. .His habits, if Wendell
Philieand theiTibune are to be be
lieved, are extremely dissolue~.
As to his genaeralshtp, a writer in the
Hartford Times, contrasting him with
General Lee, says-:
W1bn .GeneraL-Grant assumed com
mand of the army against Richmood,
May 4,'1864, be had,an effective force
(not counting reservesy of 125,000 men.
Gen. Lee at the same date had an ef
fective force of 52,000.
Grant's reinforcements, op to the bat
tie of Cold Harbor, June 8, were 97,000.
-Lee?'s reinforcements, up to the same
date, were 18,000.
Grant's total-force, reinforcements in
cluded, was 322,000.
Lee's total force, reinforcements inclu
ded, was 70,000.
By the offieial returns, when both ar
mies had reahed-We Jaibes, June 10,
the number -of Grant's. army that bad
been put hors du combat was 117,000.
Up tribe saine date, the number of
Lee's men who bad.been put hors du
combat wag 19,000. .
Then the two armies met in front of
Petersburg, and for the long weary
months that followed the siege was kept
up.' At length Sherman, completed his
destructive march from upper Georgia to
the Carolina coast, and sweeping through
North Carolina upon Lee put Lee
under the necessity of surrendering. A t
this juncture, the plotting Stanton seeing
that Lee's speedy surrender, situated as he
was between two armies, was inevitable,
left Washington, hastily slipped down to
the front, and told Grant that Sherman,
who was pushing on, and would in a
short time fall upon Lee's flank, would
receive his surrender, and with it, all the
glory of the campaign ; that the only
way to prevent this, and pale the rising
and already too threatening glory of the
man who made the -"Ma-ch to the Sea,"
wasfor him (Grant) to slip around Peters
burg, go into lhehmiond.without the loss
of.anunnecessary houYC(for Lee's line
must already be preparing for retreat,)
and 'receive the surrender himself, before
Sherman egold reac.h the ground. Grant
acted on'Stanton's -avice-received the
smueerandeeeived it after Sherman,
not Grant; had "defeated Lee. It was
done, too, after Grant, without accom
plishing Lee's defeat, had lost 117,000
men, against a Confederate loss of 19,000 !
And it was done by 220,000 against 70,
000 ; the latter being compelled at last to
surrender by the flank movement of Sher
man. There is Grant's generalship.
MiEY's MUsEUM, FOR JIUNE, -contains
the fist'p-art of "Mink Curtis; or, Life
in the ,Backwoods y -a old Hunter,"
with a-full page iUostration by Billings.
TheLKng bird, by Celia Thaxter; little
Pearl, the "Star" story; Will's Wonder
Book, by L. M. Alcott; The Loggers;.
Miksfones of English. History ; 4unt
Sue's PussjeDrawer, &c., &c.; all fully
and fnI illujtrted., The new series
of -'-for Young People ja
se .~gino ienz popular favor. Sub
t-II. B. TUL~
Ahiod Dana&*o OVM"nt&
NeIberry nominates for- the State at
large-Gen. Wade' Hampton, and lon.
-W.-D. Porter. or Con; Dist.,-Gen.
A. C. Garlington, and Gen. M. C. Butler,
Abbeville District names to the Cen
tral Executive Committee, for the Na
tional Democratic Convention: For the
State at large-Hon. J. B. Campbell,
Col. J. P. Thomas; alternates-Hon. W.
D. Porter, Col. F. W. McMaster. For
Third Congressional District-Hon. W.
). Simps9n; alternate-Hon. F. W.
Orangeburg nominates for the State
at large-Gen. Wade Hampton, Chan
cellor J. P. Carroll. For that Congres
sional District-Gen. M. 0. Butler.
Kershaw nominates for State at large
-Hon. Wade Hampton, Hon. W. D.
Porter. For First. Congresiional Dii
trict-Hon.'John A. Inglis.
Richland nominates for State at large
-Wade Iamptor, J. B. Thomas; Gabriel
Cannon and D. Wyatt Aiken, alternates.
For this Congresgionil District-J. H.
Rion; Henry A. Meetze, alternate.
Greenville nominates to the Central
Executive Committee, for the State at
fat-ge, Gen. Hampton and W. D. Porter,
and for that Congressional District,
Samuel McAlilley and W. D. Simpson.
While in Concord last Tuesday we
called at the residence of Mr. J. B. An
thony, (to whom we are indebted for
several acts of kindness and attention,)
where we witnessed, to us, a new
process of boring common wells. It
was brought from Mississippi, where
it has been in use for some time, and is
now most successfully operated, by
Messrs. Williford & Penny. It is an ar
tesian auger, cutting a hole about nine
inches in diameter, can easily be worked
by four or five men, completes the well
in about three quarters of a day, and
cost& only one dollar per foot, cirbing
and all. The auger is suspended by
means of a derrick, and is drawn up by
a windlass. Not more than a wheel bar
ro* load of dirt is raised in sinking a
well of ordinary depth, and as it only oc
cupies a foot square can be conveniently
du- in the kitchen or back porch. The
bucket is about two feet long and six
inches in. diameter-has a bottom fixed
upon binges, which is raised when it
strikes the water, by means of wbich it
is filled, and as soon as it emerges out of
the water it closes and becomes water
tight. A boy six years of age can draw
the water. By this invention a well ca
pabie of affording an unfailing supply of
water can be had for from 25 to 80 dol
lars-all ready for use. There is one on
Mr. Rich's lot, we were informed which
Pr:)rds about 1,000 gallons per day. . All
housekeepers will find it to their interest
as a matter of convenience and economy,
to have one.
Mr. Williford is a responsible gentle
man, and will guarantee satisfaction for
wrork or no pay. Ho is now at work in
The above notice is taken from the
Charlotte, N. C., Times, ogr attention be
ing called to it by a friend, who is anx
ious to ascertain if there be persons in
this section desirous of the services of
Messrs. Williford & Penny. It is a.sim
gie llaencewse cuep wy o- pro
caring water, and we have no doubt
that there are many who would like to
avail themselves of the chance. if any
of our citizens the. lore, in town or coun
try, need wells of this character, they
will please give us their names, when we
will write to the gentlemen above named.
The Electina Eturns.
So far as heard from we give the re
turns of ElJection.
The Yorkville Enquirer, says that the
vote will probably be a small one. but
that a conservative m'ijority is certain.
Gr-eenville gives a Democratic majority
of about 300..
Law-ens has good cause to rejoice
over a Democratic majority of 554.
The Herald says the Deinocratic cmn
didates elected are W. H. Langston, Or
dinary ; R1. E. Richardson, Clerk of
Comwra; B. S. Jones, Sheriff; John Na
bors, Coroner- G. W. Sullivan, Win.
Mills, G. P. Copeland, County Commis
sioners; Rev. David H adden, School Com
For "Joseph," we mourn ; for Tu xbury,
no sympathy ; for Freeman, the saw-mill
vic.im, not a tear to shed.
Spartanburg gives the glorious record
of 1500 Democratic majority.
Lancaster, conservative ticket carried
by 200 majority.
Union, democratic majority of 1200.
Marion, the entire. democratic ticket,
elected, except one county commisioner.
In Charlestoa the radicals carried the
day, but the return shows a large con
In Richland the Radical ticket gained
Orangeburg, Barnwell, Marlboro', Dar
lington, radical. . -
Horrible, Two Men Hanged.
The following atrocious double murder,
which occurred on a steamer, we find in
a New york paper, given by a heartless
correspondent as a good joke. The first
victim was one of the ship's company,
who unfortunately attempted a conun
drum on a Mr.' Cohen. and hia. trunk.
Tbe.humnane reader will judge whether
the conundrum maker merited such
summary punishment. Here it is:
"Why is one of the passengers, or his
trunk, like a certain geographical, alge
braical, geometrical, technical term ?
Answer-Because he is a truncated cone
We hung him. At dinner, one day,
in the steamz-ship, on this side, I said
something to my roomn-mate whjle he
was carving a piece of veal. One of the
company said : -"Beware - remember
the sign in the pilot house :-'No conver
sg.ian with the' man at the wheel' (weal
-veal)."- We hung him, also.
Toanmnt ami Costume Rail at Laurens.
The citizens of Lanrens are preparing for
a grand tournament and costume ball;to
come of at the village on Thursday, 2d July
next. Sp eda are to awar,d -sue
cessfultng~alg' ceinmonies to'b6on
ducted with great eelat. - An Juritation is
artended uo'~the gallant and chivairos
Enighitu of -o&her districts to enter theodist,
Fr the HertId.
A VWt to the Cemetery.
Ah! to weep for you is supreme. happi
nos, dear blanes, to whomsoever hs tears.
To forget you is to forget oneself. Are you
not a portion oiour.hearts?
God.of great mercy-their God-the God
of their fatherd-pardon the tears shed for
them by their friecds. Oh, allow us to
mourn for theb who loved us so much.
Doubtless, if they could . speak to their
weeping friends, they would tell of their
great happiness; Pardon me if I would go
before the hour of Thy will, and if before
Thine appointed time, I desire to -fly to
them. .X ele*ial glory did take away
from thiem all remembrance of humanity,
thou would'st liave removed their memory
from our hear ' and our tears would rot
drop upon thei graves. These thoughts
are of great cotfort to those who mourn
for beloved d4>arted ones. How much of
happiness do those, who live in a state of
grief and con*(dence in a better life, feel
when they meet in some Christian soul that
comforting symathy which the world can.
not and does ni appreciate.
Directed by spme unaccountable instinct,
Friday evening last, I turned my steps to
ward the cem ry. There I met two
Christian ladie: angels of goodness and
generosity-moir6fully happy, no doubt, in
paying a tribute(of respect to the remains
of beloved frien, deposited in that solitary
and most neglecied place. Death is uncer
tain, and we are rash in not thinking of. it
often. Death 's also certain, and it is mad.
ness to dismiss from our minds that of
which we shouki never lose sight. If we
thought more frequently that death makes
an end to the glory of thenan, who all his
life forgot the true God, that it takes all
from him, destjoying all of him which looks
great in the eyes of mankind, and leaves
him powerless atd forsaken in the hands
of a terrible though merciful God, we
might be induced to realize that this
world, which te sometimes seem to re
gard as eternal,,is no more. than a vapor,
to be scattered by the slightest breeze.
And then with souls, free from all the vani
ties of this life, and ripe for heaven, we
could close our eyes, without regret, to all
the frivolous objects that surround us, and
be ready to go in peace and confidence to a
blessed eternity4, Then, too, the remem
brance of the dear departed, far from being
painful to us, w6dld be a part of our happi
neis. And, indneing us, if possible, to love
them more; we would, more ..greatly desire
to be with those to whom we were so affec
tionately attached in this life. The undying
remembrance ot friends whose souls have
gone to their Heavenly Father, is necessary
to the true appreciation of the affection we
feel for a sinceire friend or a beloved family.
May these thoughts strike the hearts of
those who have been bereaved of some
dear friend or relative, and induce them to
visit often, the place which will soon be for
them a refuge of peace and rest, which the
world daily denies to them, And encour
age them to take care of the graves of those,
ehildren to re.pect the souvenir of their
parents; and when it pleases Ood to call
them to Himself, they will have in dying
the satisfaction of knowing that their chil
firen will often, think of th.em, and will come
to.their graves: and drop a tear to their
meiory, all of which the indifference of
the present day exposes them to losp for
ever. To see as I did these two bright be
ings-angels of mercy, at the grave of a
much wept mother and friend, and to see
them mourning for her whose soul is cer
ainly always about them, one can appreci
ate the hagpiness only to be found in those
deserted places-and be enabled to- say at
the- close of the weary day, when sorrow
earries. him to the grave-of his loved one,
"My. tears. are less bitter, and death tells
cue of ho,pe." - 3. 1. T.
Kr. Davis' Trial Postponed.
The U. S. Court met at Richmond,
June 3rd, Chief Justice Chase and Judge
Underwood presiding. The Cheif Jus
ice called the case of Mr. Davis, when
Pr. Anderson, of Mississippi, one of the
counsel for the defence, read an agreement
for the postponement of the .trial till
ctober, signed by Estarts and O'Conner.
r'he Chief Justice then asked if counsel
were ready for trial, independent of this
stipulation. Governor Welles, for pros
cution, replied, that, in view of the ab
sence of the District Attorney, whose
wife is in a dying condition, the absence of
the prisoner was caused. By this stipu
lation, and absence of Mr. Evarts, who
stood in the position of more directly re
presenting the Attorney-General, the
case could not well be gone on with.
He suggest'ed some day of the term in
October, when the Cheif Justice could
attend. Counsel for the defence moved
for a postponement till the next term,
which the Chief Justice.granted, saying,
at the same time, that, bad the trial
taken place last May, a year ago, or last
fall, or now, it would have been more,
convenient for him, as he was ready to
try the case. He would, however, at
tend at the next term, if poossible, in
view. of btis other duties. The witnesses,
including General R. E. Lee, were recog
nized to appear on the fourth Monday
in November, and the prisoner's bail was
Wegre gratified to loarn, roni'~the
Mobile lRegister, that Col. St. Leger
Grenfel, who escaped from the Dry
T'ortugas some months ago and was
believed to have been drowned, is
now in safety. The Register says
that a letter had been received at
Bavana from Col. Grenfel, in which . he
tent his thanks, and acknowledgements
ror kind treatment to some of the army
afficers at Tortagas, and said that he
was just about to sail for England. This
will be good news to the many friends
who served with, or knew, Col. Grenfel
i the Confederate armies of Tennessee
Kr.r.ED. -g. GeorgeWaShingtOD Dill, was
-ecently killed in Fairfield District, by un..
known-persons. - He was- the>bead of the
Union League in the locah'ttfof Longtown.
BExw MArn?.-Mr. A Harris has
>pened intlb-blk ouse on Caldwell
itreet, nleditl~e! ~fr pdal
if beef of all genders-also rapr iamb,
BiNz's SCRUBBER -We hAve tested the
India rubber scrubbing brush, and car
vouch for its worth as a serviceable article.
It is of simple constructiorn, and not much
more weighty than six big feathers. Indeed
it is such a charming eraser that we expect
to see everybody scrubbing away for the
sheer love of the thing. Mayes & Martir
are the agents for its sale.
RUNAWAY.-The horse of Benson
Jones, Esq., attached to his buggy
while standing in front' of 'a store, on
Monday morning, took fright, and
dashed down Main Street, at a furious
rate, completely smashing the buggy,
and in his mad career, starting a team o
mules. The latter were stopped before
any damage was done. There - was no
one,in the buggy.
Pus.-For a modest puff, 3 Juleps:
a tolerably good one, a box of segars; a
very good one, a pair of boots and vest;
a splendid one, a brbad cloth coat; a
perfect sockdolager, a tull suit. That
this was the recognized scale in the
go-d "daze" we find by an old Florida
Journal, from which the above is taken
We are pleased to say that it is being
revived. Exchanges please notice.
SuoT.-A freedman, Henry Harris by
name, came to grief on Saturday night
week, at the bands of Walter Edwards,
freedman, while in the enjoyment of a
frolic, by being shot through- the -leg.
The wounded boy, is now doing wel:
and is likely to recover.
This little affair, happening among th<
privileged class, of course, was lookei
upon as an innocent divertisement, ani
no harm was done. It' may be consid
ered then as amicably adjusted.
THE ELEcTIot4.-The whole number o
votes cast 2039. Newberry, 892, Frog
Level 78, Dominick's 15, Suber's 145,
Cromer's 410, Jalapa 113, Longshore's
204, and Williams 180. The following
were elected :
T. Paysinger, Sheriff; T. Lake, ClerI
of Court; J. T. Peterson, Probate Judge;
William-Summers, School Commissioner
George Brown, T. M. Jenkins, and Sam
Dogan, colored, County Commissioners
CoNcERT.-By reference to advertise
ment elsewhere, it will be seen that the
lovers of good music, and the charitably
inclined will have a double privilege ani
enjoyment on next Monday night. - The
concert to be given is for the benefit of
Rosemont Cemetery, tho Associatior
not having funds sufficient to carry out
the objects contemplated-the enclosing
of the grounds, &c., and we feel confi
dent that no appeal to the citizens 0:
Newberry, further than the simple an
nouncement, that a ood work claim!
cir sympa , is necessary or a fu
DICTIONARY WANTED.-The returr
from one of the polls it will be noticed'i
very small. The -reason for this is giver
in the fact, that the manager at sthat par
ticular precinct failed to understand the
order stopping the municipal election
The chief manager says that his subor
dinate failed to bring to memory such :
word as municipal, and his children hay
ing destroyed the family dictionary, re
course to that very useful book was de
nied him. 'Consequently the idea gainei
ground that there would be no electior
at all, and hence the small vote. We
advise Gen. Canby to instruct his adjo
tant to write his text carefully, and dis
tribute dictionaries along with the orders
RETURNED.-OUr versatile and agreea
ble friend J. returned from Charleston a
few days since, 'and, we regret to say
that his mission was unsuccessful. 1t
was hoped that he might have so im
pressed Canby, as to have made him
ashamed of the part lately played to the
dishonor of the old city, but alas, our
friend arrived at an inopportune time
Canby was just then in big audience
with a delegation of unmistakable Afri.
can scent, engaged in the preliminaries
for a toirch-light procession. It was there.
fore out of .the question to gain his ear.
Mackey and other nigs had got in be.
fore, and it was necessary to decide
whether ten gallons of kerosine would
be sufficient to light the party through
or not. Mackey and others wanted ker.
osene, which could be paid for out of the
Bureau funds, while the great chief was
of the opinion that pine splints would
answer as well, and be cheaper. Oil
was decided on, and the procession came
off; and as the Mercury's local whc
seems to know, said, "the scene called
up visions of Pandemonium," for "here
were the sounds, the lights and the
smells." That local has travelled, not
only east, west and Southward, but we
take it he's "beenr.down dIr.! -
Well J. has returned, and has turned
his back in sorrow upon his old city
h-:me, the atmosphere having a sickly
scent, and will not r-eturn again till, the
General's nostrils 'assume a healthier
tone. His great object therefore, in re
lieving the 'power_that is' of a portion o1
tbe nigger 'on the brain is unaccom
plished. He snuffs up the coming gale,
however, a sweet smelling savor, of the
time to come, when all will be well, and
waits with his accustomed dignity, and
patent leather boots.
Gon's Woa.-Be not sudden ;. take
God's work together, and do not judge
of it by parcels or pieceis It is, indeed,
all wisdom and righteousness; butewe
ilhall best discern the beauty of it when
ye lookon it in the'frame, and wirenalj
p hgi~e fully completed an - ihg
ind our ees igieped to4 .zfullex
and clearer.vtaw'of itethbart n have
herse. ..Ok r.at.wander emies
=-nndernsgWnB - cnani J:2kLhtoan
TALK ABOUT BABms.-Hide your heads
ye fathers who discourse about the pre
cocity of your infant fac similes. Here
is an infant as can talk poetry,- he is a
natural born poet, and is altogether far
in advance of your miniature editions.
Poor little fellow having just recovered
from a severe colic,,he writes to an un
Had a bad colic,
Had to take tree drops
Toot a dose of tatnip,
Felt worse than ever,
Shan't tate no more
Wind on stomit.
Felt pooty bad;
Worse fit of sickness
Ever I had.
Ever had belly-ate,
Old Uatle Bill?
Tain't no fun, now,
Say what oo will.
He's growing after the attack, and
Little flannin blankets,
Was too big before,
Nurse can't pin me
In 'em no more.
Skirts so small,
Baby so stout,
Had to let the plaits
In 'em all out.
My mammy says
Never did see
An ozzer baby
Half as sweet as me.
The poem is considerable in length as
well as merit, but we cannot give it en
tire, and close with
Can't yite no more,
Jolly old uncle,
Wiz a glass eye!
SPIcL-The following lament on the
language, is appropo, and may have come
from one of the lately arrived, for aught
we know. It won't be long, however,
ere the language will be 'shust so goot as
any;' and that will be just so soon as
they "speaks him right:"
Mine Cot! Mine Cot! vot language dat!
I-cannot English spraken;
For shust so sure I speak him right,
So sure I bees mistaken.
For when I says I vants my beer,
I mean that lager fixen;
Bier means dem tings dat folks ride on
Ven dey go dead as blixen.
Dey say dev raise a building,
Den raze it down so cline;
Rays means dem ting the sun trows,
Ven it gets up to shine.
Meat means dem ting dats coot to eat;
Meat also mneans ting proper
'Tis only met6 to meisure desetings
Ven steamboats mete the stopper.
Shust the same word means every ting
It makes no business whether
You spell him dis or t'other way
Vot sounds almost like t'other
Mine Cotl Mine Cot! so sure knows,
I cannot English-spraken;
For yen I "nose" r'speak him right, -
Py tam ! I gits mistaken.
Our german friend will be convales.
cent after a whlile, but the woman who
took a shower bath under her "umbril,"
can hardly get over it. This is the way
Doctor-Well, how did your wif'enman
age her shower bath, deacon ?
She had a large oiled silk cap, with a
cape to it, like a fisherman's, that came
all over her shoulders and head.
Doctor-Shet' a fool for her pains.
That's not the way.
Deacon-So my wife thought.
Doctor-Your wife did nothing of the
sort, I hopel?
Deacon-On, no; she used an umbrilly.
This-same doctor, was very inuch an
noyed by an old lady who always.stopped
him or. the street to ttll him over..her
ailments. Once she met him when he
was in a great hurry:
"Ah ! I see you are quite feeble," said
tbe doctor. 'Shut your eyes and show
mue your tongue.'
She obeyed, and the doctor, moving
off; left her standing there for some time
in this ridiculous position/ to the infinie
amusement of all who witnessed the fun
If you think of marrying, boys, exam
ine, if possible, the toes of the girl you'd
marry. If thie second toe be longer than
the great toe, be very 'keerful' how you
advance further, unless you are fond of
.variety. This is our advice, on the au
thority of an old stiger, who sends.us
the following in proof, and that George
told him ,confidentially that his wife's
second toe was fully half an inch longer
than it should have been:
-THnRa WEEKS AhPTERMrARTAGE.
My dearest, you are going out?
Indeed, 'tis very cold;
Let me, sweet love, around your neck
This handkerchief chfold.
You know how anxious for yiour health,
My own dear George, am I -
One loving kiss bercre-we part
Good-bye, sweet chuck, good%byel
Txnzx YEARs A3'TER MARRIAGB.
You're going out!-why don't you'go?
I cannot help the rain;
You wouldn't grieve mue mightily
To ne'er come back again!
Umbrella? I don't know where 'ties -
What'll you want next, I wonder?
Don't pester me atout your cold:
Good gracious --go to thunder!
Mrs. Partington- is said to be all tight
on the toe, whether the light fantastic or
the other one. Tiptoeing the other
morning, a(ter getting up from the break
fast table, she said she would.
Take a tower, or go on a discussion.
They say, if I collect rightTy, that a,party
is to go to a-very prhg spqt and to mis
take of a collection.'' 1 opeitiron't be
so cold as ours for the poor was, last
Sunday ; why,-there wer'nt efficient to
buy wcod for:a restitute widder." And
the old lady -put on her calash. The
dear old marm.
Some body says that the baltamn dollar
ca~n safely be bet on the gr:eat toe being
the longest with this young htuse-kdi'p
"So you are going to keep- house ?"
asked an inquisitive maiden of ( brid.
"Yes," said sh'e. "Going to have'a gir&
I suppose." "1 really denlt kn9w1" was
the blushiag reply, "whether It'wijlbe a
girl or a boy?"
A Wesenedtrsys thbin smoky
Pittsburgh men kiss each others wives,
and are able to tell iitich is Iheir ovj
nly~ by the tas(@I
inhchrrt 'fi, last' ."b
tai,tznAIn w bis kt tir i
TALK ABOUT E *PAMe .-Xr. SW is
a character-in his wa, a-t ciaract
to be found in every community.
"Talk about eddication," aid Pe sene
tentioWsy,,- don't beie6i4.A
about your school.houses and
they'll be to posterit-V ili now
what osterity has done,r Iwo
should do so.much foir .1Vo
others as they do to us is
enough for me, and as for dcatme
nobody could ever accuse ifie of
too much of it.' Here Mr. Slow
a moment,and.we pesumed t' -
him what he iias di
regard to the edu"Atish
dren. 'Why Jest thinkof.be
I have giv 'em,' said be:-'they
ready more'n I do, and as for Awl
she was taughtened with j F -
playing on the pianner, makir.g res
with woolen yarn, and all ,sorts f Jia.
cracks; and now the doctors say her
secondary habits is killing ber sdl
baveto Pl f 0-eIW
glared at us after- tbi"
pected as to _say
but we could not-jf
would hari called 14
WASINGTON, un -- -
election in Gai If17 orant'
gations under - uler and U,
alone of the sevien ife
alarmingly wide range. N i
tic beyond the gossip o4 wi
enough has transpired to .. t
eral sere. among a
discharge of tb1 mt6% e= ~ o
investigt6 is probbe.
The -iy. 74onell's.rpa
secret but AMo"D
some kind occur
half dozen policemen to libtd
se&recy of the session by
the windows. It is imposdb*:6),
the details of the trouble. -
In the Senate, the
tee reported adyerse;y on -0611
ding that m ie aI2
widows' pensian. -
In the . House, JifI
was directed to i
trial ws dela
A bill foi inaugnandng So
officers ang convening' aA
latures, wis refetedt VW
tion Committee. -
The Conferenea _
the admission of
Houses, the-biW b -
able in@bu toyl i
caonot be recovere~
and a shade lowi e -5t~
.o n sIes y iO
mlent dull ande -ma
Corn dull. Baco ji ~ --
a! at 28or'add
of thi place,kindl
Assoia on. -,
Futher.patie3l$ WU A~
ickt ecran b cuith a
berryes. . %Ofl,Tn ~ k
Asne 2Q ie
InThe exDnition Ctli
Brxannn i ers atulI
inted w be pet
OnWe wish itun teto tha Ahsep tq
are as wll madtea.in al patiuan as
invitedoe,a beng maeo-fo
cano fad. Theyaemdetei
thiiedbum, and brein aet n I'.
pups. They are -very al
m tio f, the iXm -l.
.now.offer them.at a -vaRyny pile , an&
should we get anyCDdI.tIUir
make,. will contsi q t
'4 tesn pr