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The Newberry herald. (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, February 28, 1884, Image 1

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A Family Companion, Devoted to Literature, Miscellany, News, Agriculture, Markets, &c.
Vol. XX. NEWBERRY, S. C., THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 28, 1884. No. 9.
At Newberry, S. C.
'Editor and Propriesor.
terms, $2.0per Jnut2s,
Invariably in Advance.
! - The pper i! stopped at the expiration of
a The H mark denotes expiration of
s. w" we arecloing out at greatly
redm id pcs.
en' Boy's dd Children's Suits
at a Secrifice.
mto tose out this Stock
betore moving to our large and
commodious Store, which was for
merly occupied by Bauknight &
Co., one door morth of our present
sel romhundedsreceived from grate
b.. 1~3~C~otX i~tens: -
4~~tern6ti t one eredgto be
eto uise the ' riend 'for
a long obte ratice Ihaveev6Of
Sioff oproduer qikandr.deliv 's.
*auffrbgof eite of her formerwcnnnements
nd recovered in much less tine."
A layptlewho used the "Friend," said after s
he oniement: "LI have never seen one
thtoughthistrlaso casily andwltsoUtl it er
Anepeienced midwifcwrites: "Iamxde115 -t
nawit2h the 'Mother's Friend.' In every in
where hav know tused Its efetshe
ildoHutsvlle, Ala.. movn inthe highs t
*red (Holmes' Liniment) and can frttyt,
r?iitamostecxceUentpreparationl. I frel
romanend It to all,"
Edce, 51.50 per bottle. Sent by Exprss oui
useerpt of the price.
Sold by all druggists. I
. s Pryor 5tret, Atlamtar Ga.
* *11. FO0T
Offers E xtra Bargains !
You will Save Money.
By buying from his
Fall and Winter selected si ce! o
Boots, Shoes,
Clothing, Trunks,
Hats, Notions, 1
Groceries, &c.
4 1
wdSI umor.
~~dIar nuyu faiy hv 4frdwth I or
mayrar adhave tried a great many physcians]
udeisorts of treatment, but to no pups; and
whn bga t tkeS is pno Iwsi a
Sthe greatest medicine In exIstence, and I hope.
ywh dunnewillswar to e. thtt ai
E. C YWIsJzG ClralId, s
-e 8 . foeyr atar with rat besnet.
selleeil y th ho wiSnc and In
jaes . .S. ues Ipt. ec
Over Stock of
Bagging and Ties at
Bottom Prices.
New Orleans Molasses,
Tin and Crockery Ware,
5ugar, Coflee, Tea and all kinds of
Groceries.-I have no Store Rent.
House Rent or Clerk Hire to
Pay, and am not to be
Unnder Sold. I will
try and make it pay you to
Dee-. 12-3m.
Want It for 188. The American Agricul
urist to-day is better than ever before. We
have increased our corps of Editors and
rtsts, enlarged and added to all our do
artments, until the Periodical is now the
ecognized lead cultural Journal of
he world, every issue 100 col
'mns of Original re in matter Irom the
blest writers, and ner 100 Original I
astrations. It is to the terest of every
,ne whose subscription has expired, or who
banging his place of residence, or moving
Vest, has for time being dropped out Of
,ur Army of Subscribers, to
Come Back
nd accept of our Unparalleled Offer of the
Forl1884 A $LOO Periodical.
L 600 PAGE DICTIONARY1000 Illustrations.
Morris' l1xl8 Superb Plate Engraving.
Dupre's 12x17 Superb Plate Engraving.
In place of the Dictionary.
LL FOR $1.70
wo 2-cent stamps for a Samepe Copy, and
swhat awnderful paper itis now. Ad
MCI JUDD & CO. Davil W. JDA,. f,
"No lady can get on without it."- t
)evit (Mic'A.) Advertiser. t
Przrso,v s Njosemv.,
plendid Premiums for Getting up Clubs. I
Iustrav(i "Gold Gift." Large-Size Steel- (
Engraving. Extra Copy for 1884. (
a3-A Supplement will be given in every I
amber for 1884, containing a full-size pat
rn for a lady's or child's dress. Every
abscriber wil receive, during the year, 1
welve of these patterns-worth more, a!one,
ian the subscription-price
PETERSON's MAGAZINE is the best and t
heapest of the lady 's-books. It gives more
r the money, and combines greater mer
, than any other. In shart, lt has the 8
~est Steel Engrvings, BestOriginal itories,
est Colore Fashions, Best Work-Table
atterns, Best Dress-Patterns, Best Music, t
te., Etc.
its Immense cireulation and long-estab
shed reputation enable Its porietor to
istnce all competition. Its ston, novel-.
ts. etc., are admnited to be the bspub- 1
ished. All the most popular female writers
ontribute to It. In 1884, more than 100
riginal stories will be given, besides SIX ]
O1'YElGlHT NOVELETS-by Ann S. Steph
n, Mary V. Spencer, Frank Leo Benedict,
,ucy H. Hooper, the author of "Josiah
llen's Wife,'. and the anthor of "The See
nd Life."
"PETERSON" is the only magazine that
ives these. They are TwiCE THE UsUAL
iz, and are unequaled for beauty. Also,
ousehold, Cookery, and other receipts; ;
.rticles on Art Embroidery, Flower Culture, I
lose Decoration-In short, everything In
eresting to ladies.
2 Copies for $3.50,3 for $1.50 With asuperb
ilustrated Volume: "The Golden Gift," or a
a.rge-size costly steel engraving, "Tired I
kit." tor getting up the Club.
4 Copies for $6.50, 6 for $9.00. With an ex
ra copy of the Magazine for 1881, as a prem- (
n5 do ithe prson gtg up the Clu bt
he Golden Gui,"hor e lr s1eelan
raving, "Tired Out," to the person getting
p the Club.
rer Larger Clubs Greater Inducement!1
306 Chestnut St., Philadelphia, Pa.
*3Specimens sent gratis, If written for,
get up clubs with. 42-tf.
The American Agriculturist is one of4
>ur most valuable exehanges. It has I
ust entered upon the 43d year of its
istence, with varied improvements,
.nd more reading matter and engrav
gs. It is, invaluable to the Farm,
ardn and Household. We will fur
tish the American Agriculturist and the
we Elegar* Engravings, "Foes or
~riends ?" ...d "In thAe Meadow,"
~lsewhere described, and the HERALD
or one year to any address, on receipt
f Three Dollars and ten cents, Ten
~ents extra for packing in substantial
ubes and forwarding by mail the En
Sampson Pope, I. D.n,
Offlee-Opera House,
KEWBERjY, i, Cs()
In addition tea general practice pays
special attention to the treatment of
diseases of Females, and Chronic dis
esses of all kinds including diseases of
the Respiratory and Circulatory Sys
tems-of the Bowels, Kidneys, Bladder,
Rectum, Liver, Stomach, Eye, Ear,
Nose and Throat, of the Nervous Sys
temn and Cancerous Sores and Ulcers,
Correspondence sollcited,
Apr S 4-7.
0, Fleeting Time! Give back to me
The joys of childhood's happy years!
Give back the hours from anguish free
And take these bitter sighs and tears!
For Iam weary and would fain,
Forget the dreams that round mne
Df hopes I cherished, crushed and slain,
That o'er me now their shadows fling.
lowly the pain-fraught years go by.
Watching life's flowers fade and die.
[ count them not, howe'er they flee,
For life is but a dreAm to me.
Long, long ago with trust betray'd
I saw from life the sunshine fade
ind earth grew drearier, day by day,
As all that cheer'd it flew away.
[ove's holy vows I've found untrue,
And soon forgbt for a face that's new.
[f honor and wealth filla the offer'd
It matte-s not for the heart?sil,mand.
ow, at the g'lded shrine of Fame,
I've seen the faithless ,cart bow
[o win the praise of a favor'd name,
Which paltry greatness gave renown.
How damp and cold and foggy it
ras in Lambeth Palace Road one
)ecember evening. It was terrible
Loisy too, for huge carts, laden with
teavy goods from the Southwestern
Zailway terminus hard by, rattled
acessantly over the stones, and
verybody hurried along to be out
f the thorough;are as soon as pos
Three little urchins formed an
mception to the bustling crowd,
or they lingered for more than an
iour around the big iron gates of
t. Thomas's Hospital in spite of
he constant knocks and pushes
hey received, custom having made
hem almost uncon4cious of such
reatment. Besides, the attraction
rhich kept them there was a power
al one. They had actually witness
d, while they waited, the airival
if no less than three Christmas
rees. Two of them, it is true,
rere only young fir trees dug up
rom a plantation somewhere in the
ountry and sent straight to the.
Ospital there to be dressed up in
11 their attractive fineLy, but the
hird tree was a present frow the
rife of one of the consulting phy
icians and was already trimmed
,nd decorated and covered with
There was some delay in moving
b from the light cat t and carrying
t into the building, and so the three
mall boys outside had time for a
ong lookt at it in all its beauty.
)ne must be a child to understand
rhat that beauty is; colored flags,
told and silver balls, dolls, truim
iets, candles, crackers, sweeties
hey need a child's imagination to
>e appreciated, but we may perhaps,
iappily have enough of it left in us
o know how much they convey to
The boys on they sticky pavement
>utside gave a long-drawn sigh as
he beautiful tree went out of sight
ad they turned away to their own
sual su:roundings-mud, fog, cold,
liscomfort, such as they had been
Lccustomed to all through their short
"My !" said one of them, Jimmy
>y name; "wouldn't I just like to
>e sick in there and 'ave that there
ree to play with !"
It was a sentiment echoed by the
ther two, as they edged themselves
ong the railing of the hospital,
naking their way back toward the
oom they usually slept in in Lam
'Well, we ain't sick," said anoth
r of them, called Peter, although
he harsh, dry voice he spoke in and
rhite, wan face might have told an
>ther tale.
"And so we ain't got no tree !"
said the third boy, Bill. They had
dmost reached the corner of West
ninister Bridge, in depressed si
ence, when Pet- as he was comn
nonly called-suddenly stopped,
md, with a smile that was pleasing
mough to see, although his comn
anions did not notice it, exclaim-.
"Ain't I got a hidea !"
After which statement he pro
pounded to his attentive audience,
ideas being, if not rare, always
interesting to boys. And certainly
Pet's was original and worthy of
He suggested that one of them
should feign to be ill; should get
taken into the hospital, and when
once there should see the tree in all
its glory.
The plan sounded delightful, the
only ob,jection~ to it being that they
cold not all play the principal part
lu=t. Time anianawhouatmldb
the lucky one by the all-popula
method of tossing, and Pet won th
toss. This was fortunate, for be
sides having distinctly the firs
right to his own idea, which the la<
did not think of, he was the onlj
one of the three who would havi
been capable of acting his part
but yet did not know this either.
He only gave Jimmy and Bill
few hints as to what they were t<
do, how they were to look as scar&
as possible when Bill's father cam(
home at night, and how they wer(
to say they knew nothing of Pet
except that he was suddenly "tool
Whereupon the "taking" prompt
ly occurred, and with a thud that
was unexpected even to Jimmy and
}ill, Pet threw himself down at
full length on the pavem--nt. A
small crowd instantly collected
round them. Most of f ae people
only stared a moment and then
passed on; one or two expressed
pity; and after a few moments the
inevitable policeman arrived and
pushed his way up to Pet's side,
roughly questioning Jimmy and
Bill. They wimpered a bit and
looking frightened-to order, and
the policeman, after rolling Pet
over with his foot and finding him
apparently altogether unconscious
said he must go to the hospital,
and, with the help of a good-natured
bystander, himself carried him
there, Jimmy and Bill and several
others following.
It was something to be inside
those great walls, as Jimmy and
Bill and Pet, too, thought, while
the latter was being carried by the
reporter on a stretcher into the
casualty ward and a big bell was
rang for Number One-that is, a
young dresser always handy, who
sees a case first, and, if it be trifling,
attends to it without - sending for
the house surgeon. But of Pet the
dresser could make nothing at all,
and he soon called the house sur
geon, who came running down from
the top of the high building and ap
plied himself with the rapidity of a
hard-worked man to the considera
tiorvof the case before him. He
did not look over thirty, but there
was an amount of decision, a, firm
ness and a gentleness in his touch
use he had made of his head and
his heart. The policeman stated
what he knew and was dismissed,
while the surgeon looked for all the
most likely symptoms in Pet, and
was able to find none of them. The
patient was simply unconscious.
The boys wera asked whether Pet
had been il before _he fell down
suddenly, and they said: "No,
only the cough !"
And as they both cried, or howled
steadily, all the time, the- dresser
sent them away, telling them they
might come the next morning to
hear what is the matter with their
friend. They, not sorry to get their
dismissal after the surgeon had ar
rived on the scene, scampered off.
Then the surgern, systematically
and very patientif indeed, began
at Pet's head an.l examined him
down to his fe-.t t') find some cause
of this extraordinary unconscious
ness, and could find none. Dis
ease be found indeed, for the poor
little fel!ow's lungs were half gone,
but as he sr.id to the dresser:
"Boys don't drop down unconscious
from that !" Ueing strangely baffled,
the surgeon ordered Pet to be taken
to the childrcn's ward, undressed
and put to bed.
"VWe'll see what we can make of
him then," he said.
It was not by any means easy
for Pet to keep up his acting. es
pecially when strong ammonia was
put under his nose and almost boil
ing water to his feet, but he man
aged it, more now from pride than
from longing after the Christmas
tree, even. Only when he was
lifted by the nurse into a soft, clean,
warm bed, such as he had rever
dreamt of before, that small closed
mouth of his involuntarily parted,
and something very like a smile,
like the ghost of a smile, stole over
his face.
Thr surgeon, noticing it, was
struck with the idea that the boy
might be shamming.
"Fetch the battery here," he
Pet did not know what a battery
meant, or his smile;would certainly
have disappeared as involuntarily
as it had come.
The surgeon waited by his side,
holding his small hand and think
ing to himself that, shamming or
nor shamming, Pet had the most
pathetic face be had met with in
all his experience of sadness and
Then the battery was brought
and a slight shock was administer
ed from it down Pet's back,
"Oh ! that was horrible !" thought
the lad. "What was it? Would il
come again?"
He managed not to wince ndel
it the first time. A second and
harder shock was given. Pet did
not quite scream, but he pressei
his fingers so hard into the house
surgeon's hand that the latter knew
he was right in his conjecture
Then a third shock was given
stronger one, and this time Pe
sprang out of bed with tears star
tng tn Mas eva and azlaimed
r "Oh! don't do it again; don't do
a it again!"
- One or two students round were
laughing, but the surgeon did not
i see anything but pathos in the
scene, as he said, gravely:
"Then you are not ill, and have
been giving us all this trouble for
nothing. Why did you do it?"
He wanted the lad to tell the
truth, and of course to him Pet did.
"Please, sir," he said, not crying
now, but looking straight with his
gray eyes into the doctor's face,
" 'twas the tree, the Christias tree,
as I wanted to see so awful bad!
Me and Jimmy and Bill, we seed
it a-carried into here, all beautiful,
and-and-I did want to see it
again !"
"And so you pretended to be ill,
that you might come in here, and
"Yes, sir."
"And what am I got to do with
you now, do you think?"
"Turn me out again," said Pet
There was something very like a
quiver in the surgeon's voice as he
said with infinite tenderness:
"No, my lad, I shan't do that to
you, you shall see the Christmas
tree in here. You are not what
you pretended to be, but you are
quite ill enough to stay in the ward
until after Christmas time, and
then we will see !"
And so Pet had his Christmas
tree, and Jimmy and Bill came in
at the surgeon's invitation to see it,
too, but Pet did not go back with
them to Lambeth. He never left
the hospital again, for consumption
ran a rapid course with him, and
before three months were over he
died in the ward.
We were reading in an exchange
the other day of the marriage of a
>monm UEngh'ad-w"-das born
without arms, but who can use her
toes with remarkable dexterity.
She can sew, -knit, crochet, use a
knife and fork, and scratch her
head with her toes with as much
ease as more fortunate motals can
with their fingers. After reading
the article we leaned back in our
easy chair, closed our eyes and
allowed our thoughts to go off on an
excursion across the water. We
followed that girl from the day
when she first snared a beau until
her marriage, and some of the men
tal pictures we drew were indeed
queer ones. When her lover would
call, of course she would receive
him as other ladies* would, and just
imagine how odd it would be to see
her reaching up her foot, taking
his hat between her toes, placing
it upon the table and motioning
him to a seat. She would sit by
his side talking all the little nonsen
sical nothings that lovers usually
talk, even and anon slapping him
lovingly on the cheek with the sole
of her foot when he would get off
joke at her expense. She spies a
hair on his collar, and with a ds
terity bordering on the marvelous,
reaching up with witching grace,
takes it in her toes and casts it
away. We can see sitting there
with her foot in his hand responding
to his tender squeezes, or coyly
toying with his wiskers with her
taper toes. Mayhap he may hint
that he doubts her constancy, when,
with an injured look upon her face,
she puts her foot upon her heart.
and assues him that it beats only
for him, that at every pulsation the
bounding blood murmurs his belov
ed name. Then he smiles, takes
the lovely foot in his hand, kisses
it fondly and assures her that he
was but jesting and that he would
as soon doubt the purity of a babe
as to doubt her love. If the neck
tie becomes loosened how gracefully
she would tie it with both feet, tap
ping the tie neatly down with a big
toe when the job was completed.
We can picture her screeming with
laughter and clapping her feet in
glee over some funny story, or wip
ing away the unhidden tear with her
toes at a recital of want and suffer
ing. When about to part he would
kiss and ask her for just one loving
embrace, and with the light of love
beaming in her eyes she would
but no, f,hat is not the question.
We forgot for a moment her unfor
tunate condition. He would have
to do all the embracing himself.
She would hand him his hat, escort
him to the door, give him a good
night shake with the foot and then
sit down by the fire and draw a
beautiful picture of the day when
he would fall upon his knees before
her and ask her for her foot and
heart. Then she would retire to
Iher chamber, ur dress, sit down on
the floor and bury her face. in
her feet and say her prayers as all
good girls should and go to bed to
dream of a future frescoed with
bliss and dadoed with supreme hap
- piness.
. AnA the maelaia -WI , U
Of course the bride could not enter
leaning upon the arm of the groom
as is customary, for it would be
rather unique and odd to see her
hopping in on one foot, and she
might - attact undue attention.
They approach the altar and the
ceremony begins. Where right
hands are usually joined she must
give him her right foot, and at the
words "with this ring I thee wed,"
the peculiar circumstances of the
case would compel him to place the
golden band of love upon one of
her toes. Of course it would tickle
her and she might flinch and wiggle
her pearly toes, but this need cause
no serious hitch in the proceedings.
After the ceremony friends would
crowd up and shake her foot and
rain down blessings- and kind
wishes upon her head, and under
propitious skies they would set
forth upon the journey of life foot
in hand.
-If the union should be blessed
with children how exhilarating it,
would be see her spank an obstinate
youngster. She would snatch him
up with her toes, lay him across her
knee and whack the holy delights
out of him with. the sole of her foot.
Then she would release him, shake
her toe at him sternly and tell him
that if ever he disobeys her again
she will make him think he has
been sitting on i hot stove lid.' As
to kneading dough for the morning
biscuits-well, we will drop the
curtain of curiosity and pursue her
no further.
The penalty of popularity is
The penalty of thin shoes is a
The penalty of a tight boot is
The penalty of a baby is sleepless
The penalty of apublic dinner is
bad wine.
The penalty: of marrying is a
The penalty of a pretty cook is an
empty larder.
The penalty of a good-father is a
silver knife, fork and spoon.
The penalty of kissntbaby
is half a dollar (one dollar if you
are liberal) to the nurse.
The penalty of interfering be
tween man and wife is abuse, fre
quently accompanied with blows
from both.
The penalty of buying cheap
clothes is like going to law-the
certainty of losing your suit, and
having to pay for it.
The penalty of remaining single
single is having no one who cares
a button for. you, as abundantly
proved by the state of your shirts.
The penalty of a legacy, or for
tune, is the sudden discovery of a
host of poor relations you never
drempt of, and a number of debts
you had quite forgotten.
The penalty of lending is, with a
book or an unbrella, the certain loss
of it; with your name to a bill the
certain payment of it; and with a
horse, the lamest chance of ever
seeing it back again sound.
One night a Carolina judge had
been out very late and on his re
turn, after stabling his horse, he
kpt 'tvigil even later with some
sympathetic friende. On rising
in the morning and desedhding to
the breakfast room, his throat very
dry, what was his surprise to find
the demijohn that stood on the ta
ble in a similarly arid condition.
"Y-yes, sah."
"Take this jock-saddle the mare,
and ride down to the Corners and
get it filled as quickly as-you know
how. Do you hear?"
"Yy-es, sah."
His order given, and the slow
and stuttering Sambo from the
room, the thirsty son of Bacchus
and Minerva sat himself down,
watch in hand, to await the com
mitting of his commission. "Two
minutes," he murmured, brokenly,
gasping as chickens do when their
porridge is too dry-"the mare is
bridled-saddled-and Samnbo is
on her back. Now he is down the
path, out the gate and on the high
way. Good old bessy! How she
flies along! Now they are by the
willow tree. Now they are crossing
the brook-now-and now-the
the two miles are finished and they
are at the store. Two minutes for
the boy to finish waiting on the
customers already there.-two mic
utes to draw the-for Sambo and
it is on its way. Here it comes.
Over the brook and by the tree
along the road-along the lane
through the gate- up the path
and hero it is with Sambof"
"I s say m massa, I eocan't find
that ere bridle any-wha! Why,
h here it is, massa, behind your
eair! Guess you must ha' bringed
it in last night."
There is but one road to lead us
to God-humility; all other ways
would only lead astra , even were
they fenced iwih vittas
"Is this the place?"
A prepossessing- young lady
stood-in the doorway of the editor
ial rooms and was, gazing around
the apartment in a friendly but
somewhat mysterious manner. .
"It depends on what you want,"
replied the horse reporter. If you
-are on a wild and fruitless search
for a piece of plum-colored satin
to match a dress, or a new kind of
carpet-sweeper that will never by
any possibility keep in working
order three consecutive days, you
are joyously sailing away on the
wrong track, but if you would like
an editor-"
"That's it," said the young lady.
"I want to see an editor; I guess
it is the literary editor. I saw
such a sweet verse in the Tribune
the other day. It went like this:
'The bloom on the heather is fading, dar
I lng,
The moorlands are vrimson, gold,
God grant we may live togethor darling,
Together till we grow old.")
"Well," said the horse reporter,
"our-bloom-on-the-heath editor is
just out now, but maybe some of
the rest of us could-attend to your
case. What is it you want?"
"I am going to graduate next
month sir," said the young lady,
"and I've got to read an essay.
Isn't it funny?"
"It will be very," responded the
personal friend of St. Julien.
"And I thought,' 'continued' the
young lady, "that perhaps the liter
ary editor would give me some ad
vice about the subject of my essay
and the general manner in which
it should be treated. But possibly
you could do it-just as well," and
the coming graduate smiled a
sweet encouraging smile.
"I guess likely I could," was the
reply. "You've got your white
dress made, I suppose?"
"Yes, sir."
"Well, that's a good deal. What
were you thinking of writing
"I don't exactly know, sir. That
was what puzzled me.'
"The bud of promise racket is a
pretty good one," said the horse re
"The what !"
-"The Bud of Promise racket,
It's a daisy scheme for girl grad
"Could you tell me," asked the
young lady in a hesitating manner,
"about this--"
' "Racket?" suggested the horse
"About this racket,"
"Oh, certainly. You want to
start the essay with a few remarks
about sprinf being the most beau
tiful season of the year-the time
when the tender blades of grass.
kissed by the dews of heaven and
warmed by the kindly rays of the
sun, peep forth, at the first timidly,
and then in all the royal splendor
of their vivid colors, from the bosom
of the earth that was such a while
ago wrapped in the mantle of snowy
whiteness and fast bound in the
chilly arms of the hory-headed old
winter. Then say as the glad sun
shine leaps through the bits of fo
liage that begin .to come out and
cast their grateful shade upon .the
earth, they fall upon the buds that
are loading fruit trees, and soon
on every branch the buds ripen and
burst forth in a wealth otfloral love
liness. Then compare the maiden
just stepping forth from the pre
cincts of the school, and gazing
with wistful, eager eyes out into
the world with the little bud upon
the tree, and say that she, too, by
the aid of the sunlight which comes
from education, will soon develop
into a woman, that priceless gift of
God to man, and ever cast about
her the holy light of love. That
ought to fetch 'em,"
"It sounds nice, doesn't it?" said
the young lady.
-'You bet it does, sis. or course,
you and I know that when a girl
graduates she is as useless as a fan
in a cyclone, but it won't do to say
so. You just give it to 'em the
way I told you and you'll be all
"Thank you very much, sir,"
said the young lady, starting for
the door.
"Don't forget to tie your essay
with a blue ribbon," said the horse
"No, sir, I won't."
"And tell your papa to buy a
bouquet to fire at you:"
"Yes, sir. Good-bye."
"Bon soir. Come around when
you fall in love and I will put you
up to a great scheme for making
Charley declare his intentions sev
eral months earlier than would
otherwise be the case."
"Is you gwine to get an overcoat
this winter?" asked a darkey of' a
companion. "Well, I dunno how
that's gwlne to be," was the reply.
I'se done got mys eye on a coat, but
de fellah what owns it keeps his
eye on it, too."
If the Superior Being of the un
iverse would look down upon the
world to find the most Interesting
object, it would be the unfinished,
uninformed character ofyoug men;
or ot yoang WOnSa.
Advertiemeno insared at te rate E
$1.00 per square (one inch) fbrnrs&heerUusn
and 7 cents fbr each subsequent fneerd.
Double columnadverdsements tom per cew,
on above.
Notices of meegs,obftUariesandWtribitc
of respect, same rates per square as ordinUe
Spca Nodes in Localcolums 5eert
- Adres---m-notmadved with imm.
ber InserIons wiabe tpot Ia tMinAN
pe"acontracts made with le adver
wis. With liberal deductionsoua ate"Is
Agreeable advice is seldom us
ful advice.
The weak may be joked out of
anything but their weaknes.
All the whetting in the worN
can never set a razor's edge on thi
which hath no steel in it.
The chains of habit are generally
to small to be felt till they are"too
strong to be broken.
Freckles have become very fsh
ionable. The Princess Louise and
all the nice girls have them.
The true test of civilization is
not the census, nor the size of cities,
nor the crops-no, but the kind of
men the country turns out.
'Tis a rule that goes a great way
in the government of a sober mal
life, not to put anything to, haiard
that may be secured ,by industry
consideration or circumspection.
Make every one welcome to your
church, to your pew, toyour prayer '
meeting. People like to .go where
they can see by men's actions that
they are cordially welcome.
He who does not respect coni. i
dence will neyer find happiness i.
his path. The belief in virtie vnW__
isbes from his heart, the source of
nobler actions beccmes exinct in
A good authority on fas'ons an
nounces that the bustle hereafter to
be worn will be a small featber pi
low. This will be a great-im
ment on the newspaper in slippe
"What are you going to do *hen
you are a man?" asked a gentle
man of a four year old toddler.
Aftr a moment of deep toht: -
"Well, I guess I will be the fiter ~
of some other little boy."
"Yes,3' said the mother, 'k*
married ayoung man from the)cl
contry because her farther would
not buy her aseskin ~a~.She:
sad she (wesbop1ir
on her' this-winter !" Oh my i
It s when our budding hopes ar
nipped beyond recovery by sae
rough wind that we are .the mos
disposed to picture to ourselves
what flowels they might have borne ~~
If they bad flourished.
"Your sister has a sweet mnouth,
Mr. Brown," remaked Mr;. Smith.
"Yes." added Feudeisoao, auxious
o say someiDg apptoprigtel "a'id
such a la:-ge mouth, too." Ever#
moth was shut immediately, and ~
Feoderson wished he hadn't opened ,
"Johnnie, 3d eay one have the
coup in your house last night 1"
"Don ao! What made you ax me?"
'Well, I saw a light in your house
long after miduigh." Oh! that's
my sise!She has somedtinfg doWu
in 1,e parlor awful late every_night,.
but I don't know wheather it is the
croup or not."
A jolly old uncle had been-relat -
ing some incide'ts of his earlier lift
to his nephew.. "Of all the 'women
you ever met, uncle," said the
young mli, "By your aunt, my
boy, by your aunt," replied the ol
gentlemao, dropping his voice and
feeling the back of his head tender
An Alabama weddng is thus
described: 'The bridal marchlf '
was played by Will Corley on a
hamou1ca.- The groom was attired
in a hickory-stripe shirt and cop
pes-colored pants, and on his arm
was gently suspended his buidejike
a clear rib side of bacon or bushel
of meal."
In Italy it is customary for three
or four married women to drag?
bride to -her would-be-bbsband.
She pretends to strugle desperately
o get away. .A wise journalist
points out that It would take all the
married women in the country. to
hold back an American girl who
had cocluded to enter the conjugal
Go HornF Boys. - Boys, do06 i
hang around the corner of the streets
If you have anything to do, doir 2
promptly, right off, then go home.
Hoes the place for boy.A
the street corners and at the
they learn to talk slang, and they
learn to swear, to smoke tobeocen
and do many other thIngs which
they ought not to do..
Do your business and then go:d
home. If your business isi pay?g
play and make a business of It. I d
like to see boys play good, earnest,
healthy games. If I was the town
I would give ~the boys tgo
healthy play ground, -tshuldM
plenty of soft green grasandtrese
and fountains, and~ broad space to ~
ru, and jumpad to play suitable
games. I would make It as pesa%
as lovelyas could be, and Iwo$
give it to the boyp5 to~ playI in
when the play wWe anded In~
ellthan to go abis

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