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Reasons For Tardiness.?Teachers who requre written excuses for tardiness from parents of pupils sometimes receive very amusing notes. Here are a few specimens from a number received sometime ago: "Dear Sir, please forgive Billy for lateness. I kneaded him after breakfast." A second note reads: "Please forgive Billy for tardiness. I was mending his coat." The third excuse goes more into details: "Mister sir, my Jason had to be late today. It is his oizness to milk our cow. She kicked Jase in the back today when he wasn't looking or thinkin' of her actin'; so he thot his back was broke, but it ain't. But it is black and blue, and the pane kept him late. We would git rid of that cow if we could. This is the fourth time she kicked Jase, but never kicked him late before. So excuse him for me." A girl absent for half a day brought the following excuse: "Miss teacher? My dotter's absents yesterday was unavoidable. Her shoes had to be halfsoled and she had a sore-throte. Her konstitushun is delikit and if she is absent any more you can knew that it is on account of unavoiabel sickness or something else." A boy absent for half a day laid the following explanation on his master's desk: "Dear sir, please excuse Henry. He went to grandpapa's funeral with me this forenoon. I have been promising him for several weeks that he might if he was good, and he has been very good, so I kept my word."?Evening Wisconsin. Significance of a Name.?A Phlladelphian who has just returned from an extensive tour through the East, tells a good story in which he was one of the principals. He was one of a party at a banquet tendered to the Maharajah of Paiala, at which nearly 100 guests, representing nearly every branch of Indian life, were present. As special guest, he was seated on the left of the Indian potentate. During the meal he noticed that the latter partook of some fine Cumberland ham, and knowing that it was contrary to the Indian caste rules to eat any portion of a pig, he, without a thought, asked high highness how it was that he was eating ham. The Maharajah looked at his plate, then turning around to his body servant standing at the back of his chair, said: "What am I eating?" The servant instantly replied, "Mutton, Sahib," and without referring to the incident again the Maharajah conA.I J Vln uuutru mo invatt After the banquet the Phlladelphian related the incident to an Indian judge, and the latter said: "If that servant had said 'ham,' he would have been headless before tomorrow morning."? Philadelphia Telegram. New Wat to Marry People.?An elderly minister is fond of telling of a "break" he once made at a double wedding of two sisters. It was arranged that the two couples should be married with one ceremony, the two brides responding at the same time and the two bridgegrooms doing the same. There had not been any previous rehearsal, as the minister had come a long distance and reached the church but a few minutes before the time for the ceremony. All went Tyell until it came time for the minister to say, ' And now I pronounce you man and wife." It suddenly became o"bvious to the minister that the usual formula would not do in the case of two men and two wives, and he could not think of any way of making "man" and "wife" plural in the sentence. In his desperation and confusion he lifted his hands and said solemnly: "And now I pronounce you, one and all, husband wife!"?Lipplncott's Magazine. =?* 'ReniihUpAns who are OpcaAIUf, Vi. ? ? ? trying to be protectionists and free traders at the same time, Representative Fordney of Michigan tells this story, according to the Washington Post: "They are like an old root doctor out in my district," he says, "who went to see a man who was ill with ague. He fixed up two classes of medicine?one for fever and one for .chills,' as he said to the man's wife. " 'But,' she said, "they are both alike. I saw you scrape the bark off that root and put the same bark in each glass." " 'But you did not notice how I did it,' replied the doctor. 'For chills I scraped the bark up the root, and that makes it high-cockalorum. For fever I scraped it down the root, and that makes it low-cockalorum. Don't you see?* "And with this explanation," says Mr. Fordney, "the good woman had to be satisfied." Sir Wilfred Lawson says that he never received a knock-down till, espying a laborer walking along with the old, familiar black bottle protruding from his pocket, he entered into conversation with him, and pointed out the misery which had resulted from the bottle and earnestly exhorted the man to flee from its contents, says the Chicago Record-Herald. The man was so overcome that ne took out the receptacle and emptied the liquor into the road. Sir Wilfred's face beamed with pleasure, and handing the man sixpence. he said: "Take that: it will buy you something better." The man. to the disgust of Sir Wilfred, entered a public house and spent the sixpence in beer. The liquor he had thrown away was cold tea. Bridget and Pat were sitting in an arm chair reading an article on "The Law of Compensation." "Just fancy." exclaimed Bridget: "accordln* to this, win a mon loses wan av 'is sinses another gits more development. For instance, a bloind mon gits more sinse av hearin' an' touch, an?" "Shure, an' it's quite thrue," answered Pat. "O'ive noticed it meself. When a mon has wan leg shorter than the other, begorra the other's longer."? Philadelphia Times. JHiscrllancous Reading. FROM CONTEMPORARIES. Sewi and Comment That la of More or Leaa Local Interest. YORK. Rock Hill Herald, April 26: Carl, the 3-year-old son of Mr. and Mrs. E. J. Bell, who live on West Main street, had a narrow escape last Tuesday morning. After some scouring had been done, a box containing concentrated lye was left on a window sill, and the baby, coming along neipea mmseu to the contents, putting some into his mouth, which he swallowed, and daubing his face and hands with it. His screams attracted the mother's, attention, who at once sent for physicians, Drs. Massey and Miller responding. They treated the little fellow, with the result that he is now much better, being out of danger in so far as the stomach is concerned. There is some fear, however, lest there may yet be trouble with the throat Allen Culp, colored, was arrested Tuesday afternoon by Policeman Langley, the officer having been notified that he was wanted for stealing some clothing at the dam. The clothing, however, could not be found, but on Allen's person a revolver was discovered. He was taken before Mayor Waters on the charge of carrying a concealed weapon and sentenced to pay a fine of $15 or serve 30 days on the chaingang. He is now working out the days Solicitor J. K. Henry visited the Edgmoor community Monday and Tuesday for the purpose of investigating the circumstances in connection with the petition sent to the governor asking for the holding of a special term of court for the trial of Green Blake, colored, charged with an attempt to rape the 7-year-old daughter of Mr. Nolen. After thorough investigation and conference with the people of the community, the solicitor decided not to recommend the holding of a special term, the object of the Negro not having been accomplished. The decision of the solic itor is accepted Dy me tuiniiiuiiii} ao the wisest and best thing to be done. Excitement has been allayed and there is no suggestion that trial by due process of law should be interferred with. The printed announcement of the course of study of the state summer school will be issued soon. This will be sent out to county and city superintendents for distribution among the teachers. Correspondence, whether for admission to the school or to the dormitories, will be with the office of the state superintendent of education. When the list of admitted students is made up it will be forwarded to President Johnson, who will assign rooms. Application blanks will be furnished, upon which the teachers will note the courses which they wish to pursue, and will pledge themselves to remain through the entire four weeks, unless Providentially prevented. "Floating attendance" will not be permitted. The crowding of the class rooms for a part of the session tends to interfere with the work and will be discouraged. Last year 614 enrolled, and only 470 stayed through the examinations. This year only about 500 will be admitted and it is expected that practically all will stay to the end. This will be more satisfactory to instructors and to students. CHESTER. Lantern, April 25: The direct telephone line from Rock Hill has been completed to Lewis Turnout and the wire will ce stretched from here to that place today, so that in a few days we will have direct communication to Rock Hill. This will be a great convenience to both places. Mr. S. M. Burdell's line has been temporarily connected with the Rock Hill direct line, and the service is all that could be desired. We called up Editor Long of the Gastonia News, yesterday and could hear him talk easily enough. Better connection to Gastonia is no longer an uncertainty Constable W. C. Hergpath has occasion to be over the county a great deal, and he says that wheat and oats are not looking so well, though the prospects are better now than it was at first thought to be. He says that the farmers are certainly taking advantage of the favorable weather. There Is no idleness in the country he says, and the ground is being put in better condition than for several years previous, and every indication is that this will be a good crop year. Corn is coming up right along and in some places is large enough to work A great many of our readers will be interested in the following special to The News and Observer, from Mt. Olive, S. C., under date of April 10th: Yesterday at 5 o'clock p. m., Mr. Henry W. Westbrook and Miss Mattie Carr were married at the residence of the bride's sister, Mrs. J. O. Loftin, only close relatives and friends being present. The ceremony was performed by Rev. Wm. Shaw, of Kenansviue, N. C., and was followed by a reception at the home of Mrs. J. O. Loftin It seems that this spirit of unrest has taken hold upon the Negroes of these parts also. A while back 80 left a certain neighborhood of this county for Arkansas, and a good many more have gone to Virginia to work for the American Telephone company and to West Virginia and other places to work on the railroads, etc. So our York neighbors are not alone in this matter, for this spirit of restlessness has been prevalent here also Mr, and Mrs. S. M. Jones returned from their visit to the Charleston exposition Tuesday Mr. J. R. Culp, Jr., of Orange, Va., spent last night with his father. Colonel J. R. Culp. He has been attending court at Yorkville. being a witness on a railroad case. He returned to his home this morning; Messrs. J. R. Thompson and Paul <J. McCorkle have purchased 700 bales of cotton, damaged by tire, from Macon, C?a., and they have 32 or 33 hands at work out at the Eureka mills picking out the damaged cotton. They say that they have a summer's job for their hands, but it is presumed that the task will be completed within three or four weeks April 22, 1902, was the wedding day of a pair of lovers, says a L.owrysville let ter. The blushing bride of 18 was replaced by the mother, grandmother and great-grandmother who Is characterized by no less energy than the bride of 1852. The groom has passed three score and ten, but still retains tne quick perception and ability that has rendered him indispensable to the community in which he lives. His influence for good has been felt farther I than the circl? in which he most movand had so near to his heart. It is a timely tribute to be paid one who may not be long numbered among the living, our friend, Mr. J. L. Guy. By 10 o'clock the children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren of Mr. and Mrs. Guy had assembled at their country home. All made merry and wished others many happy returns of this memorable occasion. The sound of the dinner bell presented one of "ye olden time" scenes. The table was sumptuously spread witn delicacies that could be gathered far and near, which lent much to the festivity of the occasion. Those partaking of their hospitality were five sons, one daughter, four daughters-in-law. eighteen grandchildren and three great-grandchildren, Rev. A. H. Atkins and Mrs. Atkins, Mr. and Mrs. J. S. Guy, Mrs. H. Anderson, Mrs. S. H. Hardin and son. LANCASTER. Ledger, April 26: At high noon, Wednesday, April 24, 1902, the home of Major J. M. Riddle, at this place, was the scene of a beautiful home wedding. His daughter, Mrs. Lula Riddle Rowell, was married to Mr. Wm. H. Reed,. Rev. J. M. Steadman officiating, and using the impressive ring ceremony of the Methodist church. The decorations were not elaborate; but in elegant taste. The wedding march was gracefully rendered by Mrs. J. E. Poore, who continued soft music during the ceremony, increasing the volume while congratulations were being extended. Little Miss Jennie Beard Mackorell, niece of the bride, attired in pure white and looking as sweet as the white lilacs she scattered along the way from a satin lined basket, gracefully carried in her left hand, preceded the couple up the hallway into the parlor where the nuptial vows were plighted. After congratulations the bride and groom led the way Into the dining room and the next hour the many guests spent in feasting and pleasant chat. Mr. ?A v*-o Boon ipft on the 2 o'clock ailU XMl Oi AW.V.V* .v.. train for Charleston where they will spend their honeymoon. Mr. Reed is book-keeper for Williams-Hughes Co., and his upright life and many sterling qualities make him well worthy of the esteem in which he is held by all who know him. The accomplished bride, here in her native home, has been a favorite from childhood. Her charms of person, and heart have endeared her to all who are fortunate in her acquaintance. Admiring friends sent many handsome bridal presents of silverware, chinaware, pictures, etc The Bethel presbytery met at Lowrysville on the lGth Instant. The opening sermon was preached by Rev. Mr. Caldwell, of Heath Spring. Rev. W. J B. Arrowood was elected moderator, and R. F. Kirkpatrick clerk. Delegates to the general assembly which! convenes at Jackson, Miss., in May, as follows: Revs. W. T. Hall and C. G. Brown; Revs. R. M. Kirkpatrick and J. T. Dendy, alternates. Elders: Delegates, E. A. Crawford and D. L. Coleman; alternates, J. A. Maxwell and J. D. Harrison. Beersheba church was selected for next place of meeting and October 7th, 11 a. m., as the time. Mr. R. J. Mackorell, of Yorkville, came over Wednesday to attend the marriage of his sister-in-law, Mrs. Rowell, to Mr. Reed. GASTON. Gastonia Gazette, April 25: Mr. J. B. F. Riddle and his daughter, Miss Lula, of Begonia, were welcome visitors in the city yesterday Dr. J. C. Galloway went to King's Creek, S. C., yesterday to visit his cousin, Mrs. James McGIll, who is quite sick Mrs. J. W. Tribble, whose serious illness was ?*" fava acn riipri Tuesday af uvsic:vi a it? wwjw ?o?? ternoon at High Shoals. She was the lovely and devoted wife of Dr. Tribble, who is postmaster at that^place. The funeral was held Wednesday at Lincolnton. The entire community at High Shoals is filled with sorrow at this most excellent woman's death, and sympathize deeply with her bereaved husband and daughters The honor of handling most of the steel rail for re-laying the C. & N.-W. track has fallen to Mr. C. M. Nolen, the agent at Gastonia. He has transHsd this week about 20 carloads of from the Southern to the Narrow ge. The rails weigh about 600 pounds apiece. From six to eight men are required to handle a rail, and 40 rails , make a Narrow Gauge carload. The name "Carnegie" and date "1902" occur about five times on each rail. By the way, the same name is on the sheet steel from which some of Mr. E. N. Lineberger's plow wings and scrapers are made. These rails are going up the Narrow Gauge to Lincolnton and points beyond and to haul them about eight solid narrow gauge trains will be required Mr. U. W. Davis died in Atlanta at 5 o'clock this morning. MANNA'S FAITH IN HATHIIONK. Senator CuIIn It StmidlliK by nil lloiient Frleiul In Trouble. Many-sided Mark Hanna turned a new facet lor public inspection, says a Washington dispatch to the New York World. He deposited $100,000 in government bonds?his own governornment bonds?with a Maryland trust company to secure the release of his friend. Major Kstes G. Kathbone, from a Cuban prison. The senator asked nobody to help him. He made no show about it. He simply went to his strong box, took out $100,000 worth of United States bonds and handed them over to this trust company as a guarantee that Rathbone would not leave Cuba while his appeal for a new trial is pending. There are few instances in the history of politics in this country where one man uas gone so far for another man. Very few persons doubt that Itathlione was mixed in the Cuban postal frauds, which brought such a scandal on the first McKinley administration. Hunna insists that Rath bone is an honest man. He says so on every occasion. He backs his argument with the claim that if Rath- > bone had a dishonest hair in his head he would long ago have been a millionaire. i Rathbone was at the head of the postofflce inspectors when the Louisi- t ana lottery was rooted out of New Or- , leans. He did all the work that sent ] that organization to Honduras and ? made it necessary for it to advertise ? under the guise of an ice machine fac- ] torv. i If, Hanna'a argument Is, Rathbone had any dishonest blood in hiin he would have realized on it then and there. He could have had a million dollars for letting up. He was temorseless. There wasn't enough money in New Orleans to bribe him. Then again, says Hanna, Rathbone has beer a thieftaker all his life. He knows the consequences. This is Hanna's argument for public consumption. He has gone along working to get Rathbone out of jail. He helped him during the time he wa3 waiting for trial, thinking, he says, that Rathbone would be proved innocent. He thinks the trial was a farce and he has secured from the president a promise to review the evidence, a transcript of which will soon arrive. If this does not avail, Senator Hanna has said he will do what he can to get a pardon for Rathbone from President yalma. He will not cease his efforts jintil the last stone has been turned. j There are certain people in Washington who remember a letter that came from Havana from Rathbone soon after his arrest for complicity in the frauds for which Neeley was first arrested. In that letter Rathbone protested his innocence and demanded | help. "If I am deserted," he wrote, "I will ' pull down the columns of the temple." What did that mean? ( On February 28, 1899, Senator Chandler from the committee on privileges , and elections submitted a report, No. ( 1,859, which, the title ran, was "On the charges of bribery in the election of Hon. M. A. Hanna to the senate of the United States." The report was printed anu anuivcu to lie on the table. It Included a report from the committee of the Ohio state senate appointed to investigate ( the same charges and a minority report from the senate committee on privileges and elections signed by Senators Turley, Pettus and Caffery. Senator Chandler's report said it was not necessary to go on .with the investigation. The minority report insisted it was necessary, provided the senate had a proper regard for its own reputation. The Ohio senate report had some statements and conclusions that are interesting at this time. Those conclusions, or, as the Ohio committee called them, "the four main facts," adduced at the Ohio investigation were: "First, that on or about January 9, 1898, an attempt was made to bribe John C. Otis, a member of the house of representatives of the present general assembly of the state of Ohio, to vote for Marcus A..^Hanna for United States senator. "Second, that Henry H. Boyce was the principal offender in the commission of that crime. "Third, That Major E. G. Rathbone and Major Charles F. Dick were , agents of Marcus A. Hanna and pro- , cured, aided and abetted Henry H. ( Boyce to commit that crime. , "Fourth that H. H. Hollenbeck aid- j ed Henry H. Boyce Boyce in commit ting that crime." j """ rr> /-i r>mpntion- . I "Jine rnajur r*. vj. itau?>v..v led in these conclusions is the Major E. G. Rathbone for whom Hanna has put up $100,000 in government bonds. The Marcus A. Hanna mentioned is the Senator Hanna who is standing by Major E. G. Rathbone. Washington may be a bit cyncial in matters of this kind, but there are those who think the tnreat to "pull down the columns of the temple" had its natural effect. "It'? Morjrnn'?." The following from the New York Mail and Express, was read by Mr. Clarence Dallam, representative of the governor of Kentucky, during the exercises in the Louisiana Purchase building at the Charleston exposition recently: I came to a mill by the river side, A half mile long and nearly as wide, With a forest of stacks and an army i of men Toiling at furnace and shovel and pen. "What a most magnificent plant!" I cried; And a man with a smudge on his face replied: "It's Morgan's. I entered a train and rode all day On a regal coach and a right of way Which reached its arms all over the land, In a system too large to understand. "A splendid property this!' I cried; And a man with a plate on his hat replied: "It's Morgan's." I sailed on a great ship, trim and true From pennant to keel, from cabin to crew; And the ship was of a monster fleet A first-class navy could scarce compete. "What a beautiful craft she is!" I cried; And a man with akimbo legs replied: "It's Morgan's.' I dwelt in a nation filled with pride; Her people were many, her lands were wide; Her record in war and science and art Proved greatness of muscle and mind and heart. "What a grand old country it Is!" I cried; And a man with his chest in the air replied: "It's Morgan's." I went to Heaven. The jasper walls Towered high and wide, and the golden halls Shone bright beyond. But a strange new mark Was over the gate, viz: "Private Park." "Why, what is the meaning of this?" I cried: And a saint with a livery on replied: "It's Morgan's." I went to the only place left. "I'll take A chance on the boat on the brimstone lake, Or perhaps I may be allowed to sit On the griddled floor of the bottomless pit." But a leering lout, with horns on his face, Cried out, as he forked me off the place "It's Morgan's." TFIE NATURAL BRIDGE. ? An Interesting Talk Apropos of the Bill For a National Park There. 1 Representative Flood, of Virginia, ? vhose district embraces Rockbridge ? :ounty and other mountainous terri- ^ :ory, introduced a bill last week pio iding for the purchase of Natural 3rldge by the national government, 1 ind the development of the land just j ibout the bridge into a national park. Liike everyone else in the state, Mr. J Flood regards the Natural Bridge as ;he equal of Niagara falls, and looks 8 lpon it as a wonderful work of nature ! vhich should belong to the government ind be jealously guarded. In this he 1 las the hearty support of many repre- 1 lentatives from other sections of the :ountry and the entire Virginia deleration. In one of the house galleries, when J Mr. Flood walked to the speaker's lesk and presented his bill, was one )f his constituents, who lives near the jridge, Charles H. Paxton. The latter fvas as deeply Interested in the meas- , are as Mr. Flood. "Up in Rockbridge," tie said to a reporter, "the Natural Bridge is estimated as one of the most interesting things in Virginia. Jefferson, who was its first owner, spoke of it as a 'famous place that will draw the attention of the world.' John Marshall railed it 'God's greatest miracle in scone.' Clay said It was 'a bridge not made with hands, that spans a river carries a highway and makes two mountains one.' Those men visited the bridge at the cost of long, trying 3tage journeys, but they were not the snly ones attracted to Rockbridge to see it. Monroe, Benton, Jackson, Van Buren, Sam Houston and no one knows how many others undertook the same Journey at the same cost. Today interest In the bridge seems to have grown with the country. It has become necessary for the railroads" to build new stations and to adjust their schedules to include Natural Bridge, exactly as they long ago included the great summer resorts on the main line. "Those who have seen the bridge do not require to be told about it. But for others I don't believe all the pictures in the world can indicate its solemnity and grandeur. It is a single block of limestone, with many shades nt nnlnr iuIHo onmicrVi tn HTlfln RrOftd way and high enough to throw in the Bhadow the turrets of Trinity church. The walls are as smooth as if cut with chisels. The helghth of the arch is almost 215 feet, about half that of Washington monument. Its width is 100 feet and its span is clear 90 feet. Birds high in the air pass under the b'.ue arch. The place is full of echoes. Lightning struck the bridge in 1779 and hurled down an immense mass of rock, but there is no sign of its displacement on the bridge. itself. "The history of the Natural Bridge is remarkably interesting. It was mentioned first, I think, by Burnaby in 1759, who spoke of it as a 'natural arch or bridge joining two high mountains, with a considerable river underneath. A bloody Indian fight occurred near it about 1770. Washington, when a surveyor for Lord Fairfax, visited It and carved his name, wnere it can now be seen. During the Revolution the French organized two expeditions to visit it. "From their measurements and diagrams a picture was made in Paris, which for nearly half a century was copied in Europe and America as correct. The original tract was granted by the king to Thomas Jefferson in , L774. After Jefferson became president be visited the place, surveyed it and made the map with his own hands. The next year he returned, taking two 3laves, 'Patrick Henry' and his wife. For these two the former president built a log cabin with two rooms and lirected one to be kept open for the jntertainment of strangers. The 3laves were never manumitted. Jefferson left here a large book for 'sentiments,' and the sayings of Marshall md Clay I have indicated, were taken from that book. Unfortunately, the oook was accidentally destroyed in 1845, and only a part of it remains. "Above the bridge la an Immense eflen, probably once a cave, which extends for a mile to Lace Water Falls, rhere Is much to see in this glen?a saltpetre cave, worked for niter during the war of 1812 and by the Confedjrates in 1862, and Lost river, a subterranean stream which shoots out of a cavern high in the wall and disappears n another nearly opposite. Above the SOUT1 RAIL THE GREAT OF TRADE A Uniting tht Print Canter* end Heel Reaort* of the Sou NORTH, EM Hlgh'CUM VMtlbnU Trail batwaan Naw Yark and 1 Cincinnati and Florida 1 Atharllla. Naw York and ribrMa. alth( and lavannak, or wia Savannak. Xaaarlor DlnlnX-Car larric< IxotlUat Jcrrie* and Lov o*umt loath Carolina Int Exposition. Wintor To a riot Tickets to rodaood ratoo. 9mr dmtmllmd Infmrmmtlmn, lltmr apply to mmmrmmt Hmbrnt-mgrnn*, or f. M. HARD WICK. Qmmmral Pmaamnjmr Jtgmm*, Wmahlngtmn, B. 0. R. W. IVNTi Rio. Pmmmmdgrnr Jtfmmt, Chmri##? ?, <1. A raORUAOY O, MM. irch some one has carved, '"Whoever J lrinks here shall return.' "Natural Bridge park Is a plateau .,500 feet above the sea and comprises ibout 2,000 acres. It Is about two miles iway from the James."?Washington Evening Star. Whales Left High and Dry.?A school of eight whales, one large and I :he others quite small, entered the harsor of Port Royal a few days ago and jot Into trouble near Paris Point, rhey were feeding near the shore and ' six of the smaller ones entered a slough at the deepest point. The big whale came next, and Is sudposed to have touched bottom, for she made a mighty flounder, churned up water and mud and Anally succeeded In turning around In the narrow chan- i nel flanked by mud banks, and went plunging to sea, accompanied by one 3mall whale. Those enclosed by the mudbanks were not so fortunate. The tide was rapidly ebbing and they did not take the alarm till cut off from retreat. Their frantic charges oneway and another only got them further out of water. All perished before low tide. There are no conveniences in that section for securing the oil, so what would have been a very valuable find in some other quarters has gone to waste. These are the first whales that have appeared in Port Royal for many years. A Mark Twain Story.?Two Englishmen were discussing with Mark Twain the old topic of American humor as not appreciated by foreigners. "But are the English really so obtuse?" asked one of them. "Obtuse! You can't get an Idea into an Englishman's head with a surgical operation," declared Mark Twain. The questioner remained in solemn thought for a moment. Then he broke into a hearty laugh. "Quite a delicious joke!" he exclaimed. "Though of course if you were to open the Englishman's skull you would kill him, would you not?" Mark Twain turned to the second Englishman. "What did I tell you? He wants to know whether It wouldn't kill him!" The countenance of the second Englishman was like a blank wall. "Wouldn't it?" he queried.?New York Times. m POISON Old Running Sores, Mucons Patches ir mouth or throat, Copper-Colored Spots. Ulcers, Painful Swellings, Bone Pains Pimples, Boils, Scrofula, Catarrh, Rheumatism and every form of Blood Poison, quickly cured forever by taking Botnnh Blood Balm (B.B.B.1. Thoroughly tested for 30years. Druggists. 81. Directions with each bottle. Botanic Blood Balm (B.B.B.) heals every sore, makes the blood pure and rich. Cures when all else fails. Bead 5 centa to pay postage on Free Trial Bottle. BLOOD BALM CO. Atlanta, Ga. Soft 1 Harness 1L You can make your bar 5n nesa aa son aa a giove hwh | and aa tough ss wire by i^V TH uatng EUREKA Har- IV /^H\ 1 ne ai OH. You can IB /AHN li lengthen Its life?make It IV /Ml U lnat twice as long as It IS/^BV ordinarily would. KMH EUREKAF Harness Oil I makes a poor looking har' nesa like new. Made of pure, heavy bodied oil, ee' peclally prepared to withstand the weather. Im^h Bold everywhere \^V In cans?all sizes. V^B Mifto by STANDARD OIL CO. Wl The Enquirer Does Good Job Printing and Solicits Your Work. HERN ,WAY ' HIGHWAY WD TRAVEL. )ipal Commercial Ith and Pleasure ith with the # j* T and WEST. ia^ Through SlssplnU*Csrt new wrwini, vi? aii?nu. Points via Atlanta and via ar vis Lynchburg Danvilla Richmond, Danville and a ota all Through Trains. r Ratos to Charleston ac> er-State and Wast Indian all Rosorts now on sale at ature, time tables, rates, etc., address W. H. TAYLOI, Asst. Gen. Pass. Agent, Atlanta, Om, J. C. BEAM, District Pass. Agent, Atlanta, Oa. SOUTH CAROLINA & GEORGIA EXTENSION RAILHOAD CO. Schedule Effective January 15,1902. BETWEEN CAMDEN AND BLACKSBURQ. WEST. EAST. 35. 33. EASTERN 32^ 84. 2nd l8t TIME. 1st 2nd Class. Class. Class. Class. Dally Dally Except Dally. Dally. Except *^11 STATIONS. A.M. P.M. P.M. P.M. 8 20 12 10 Camden...... 3 50 6 60 9 20 12 45 Westvllle...- 3 17 6 00 10 50 1 05 ...-Kershaw 2 42 5 80 11 20 1 40 Heath Springs. 2 30 4 40 12 20 2 06 ....Lancaster.... 2 05 3 50 12 45 2 25 ....Riverside 1 46 8 10 2 45 2 40 Catawba J'c'n. I 30 2 40 4 (0 I 3 00 ....Rock Hill... 1 10 1 15 4 40 3 18 -Tlrzah 12 50 10 45 5 20 3 30 ..._Yorkvllle.... 12 35 10 20 5 45 3 45 Sharon 12 20 9 40 6 16 4 00 Hickory Grove 12 OS 9 10 0 20 ; 4 10 Smyrna 11 55 8 50 0 50 4 28 ...Blacksburg... 11 35 8 20 P.M. P.M. A.M. A.M. 20 minutes for dinner. 11ETWEEN BLACKSBUKU, S. C., AND MARION, N. G. WEST EAST. 11. 33. EASTERN 32. 12. 2nd 1st TIME. 1st 2nd Class. Class. Class. Class. Dally Dally Except Daliy Dally Except Sunday STATIONS Bnnd'y A.U. P.M. A.M. P.M. 8*0 148 ...UlnckHburg... 11 30 6 46 8 20 5 05 Earls.. 11 15 0 25 8 30 5 12 Patterson Hpr'g 11 06 0 15 9 20 5 25 .Shelby 10 58 0 00 10 00 6 45 ....Lattiraore..... 10 88 4 45 10 30 5 55 ...Mooreeboro.. 10 50 4 30 10 50 0 05 Henrietta.... 10 20 4 10 11 20 0 22 -..Forest City? 10 05 8 45 11 45 0 37 Rutherfordton 9 50 8 20 12 30 7 05 .Thermal City. 9 20 2 45 12 55 7 20 ...Ulenwood.... 9 00 2 20 1 20 7 35 Marlon 8 46 2 00 P. M. P. M. A. M. P. M. GAFFNEY BRANCH. WEST. CAST. First Class. EASTEHN First Class. 15. | 13. TIME. 14. | 16. Dally Except Dally Except Sunday. Sunday. -p.rrzir STATIONS. 4 80 8 50 -.Hlacksburg. _ 11 20 0 10 4 50 9 10 Cherokee Falls 11 00 5 60 5 10 9 30 Gafltaey 10 40 5 80 P. M. A. M. A. M. P. M. SOUTHBOUND CONNECTIONS. At Marlon Nn. 32 connects with Southern railway train No. 36, which arrives at Marion at 8.28 a. m., from Chattanooga, Asheville and Intermediate Dolnts. At Blacksburg, No. 34 and No. 11 connect with Southern railway train No. 36, which arrives at Blacksburg at 7.45 a. m., from Atlanta, Greenville, > Spartanburg and Intermediate points. At Yorkville, No. 34 connects with C. & N.-W. train No. 70, which leaves Yorkville at 10.48 a. m., ftfr Gastonla, Lenoir and Intermediate points. At Rock Hill, Nos. 32 and 34 connect wtth Southern railway train No, 75, which leaves Rock Hill at 3.30 p. m., for Chester, Columbia and intermediate points. At Catawba Junction, Nos. 32 and 34 connect with S. A. L. train, No. 32, which passes Catawba Junction at 7.54 p. m., for Monroe and intermediate points. At Lancaster, Nos. 32 and 34 connect with L. & C. train No. 16. which leaves Lancaster at 4.45 p. m., for Chester and intermediate points. At Camden, with A. C. L., (N. W. of S. C.), for Charleston, Sumter, Florence, Darlington, Wilmington and intermediate points. Train No. 68, which leaves Camden at 4.15 p. m. NORTHBOUND CONNECTIONS. At Camden, with A. C. L., (N. W. of S. C.), No. 71, from Charleston, Florence, Darlington, Wilmington, Sumter and lnten. diate points, which arrives at Camden at 11.15 a. m. With Southern train No. 77, from Klngsvllle, which arrives at Camden at 11.55 a. ra. At Lancaster, No. 33 connects at Lancaster with L. & C. train No. 16, for Chester and Intermediate points. At Catawba Junction, No. 33 and 35 connects with S. A. u. train, No. 32, which leaves Catawba Junction at 7.45 p. m., for Monroe and intermediate points. At Rock Hill, Nos. 33 and 35 connect at Rock Hill with Southern railway train, No. 34, leaving Rock Hill at 8.26 p. m., for Charlotte and points norm. At Blacksburg, No. 33 connects with Southern railway trains Nos. 12, 4.38 p.; 38, at 7.05 p. m.; and 40, at 7.45 p. m., for points north. Nos. 33 and 35 connects with Southern railway train No. 35, leaving Blacksburg at 11.25 p. m., for points south. At Marlon, No. 33 connects with Southern railway train, No. 35, leaving Marion at 11.40 p. m., for Ashevllle, Chattanooga and Intermediate points. Through car service without change between Marlon and Charleston on trains Nos. 32* and 33. E. II. SHAW, Gen. Pais. Agent. The Enquirer Does Good Job Printing and Solicits Yonr Work. CAROLINA & NORTH-WESTERN RAILWAY COMPANY. Schedule Effective Nov. 24,1001. Northbound. Passenger. Mixed. Lv. Chester 6.25a.m. 8.50a.m. Lv. Yorkville 7.30a.m. 10.48a.m. Lv. Gastonla *9.05a.m. 1.20p.m. Lv. Lincolnton.... 10.09a.m. 2.55p.m. Lv. Newton 10.54a.m. 4.43p.m. Lv. Hickory 11.16a.m. 5.50p.m. Lv. Cliffs *11.50a.m. *6.35p.m. Ar. Lenoir 12.35p.m. 8.p.m. Southbound. Passenger. Mixed. Lv. Lenoir 2.10p.m. 5.30p.m. Lv. Cliffs 2.54p.m. *7.20a.m. Lv. Hickory 3.12p.m. 8.10a.m. Lv. Newton 3.37p.m. 8.45a.m. Lv. Lincolnton ... 4.22p.m. 10.09a.m. f.v nnatnnln R 9.1 r\ m 1 Lv. Yorkville 6.32p.m. 3.18p.m. Ar. Chester ..- 7.48p.m. 5.20p.m. * Meal station. CONNECTIONS. Chester?Southern Ry., S. A. L., and L. & C. Yorkville?S. C. & Ga. Extension. Gastonia?Southern Ry. Lincolnton?S. A. L. Newton and Hickory?Southern Ry. E. F. RBID. G. P. Agent. Chester. South Carolina. PHOTOGRAPHY*. FOR PHOTOS in any style and of the BEST FINISH?Please call at my Gallery, on Cleveland avenue. S. W. WATSON. Yorkville, 8. C.