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tumorous Jrpattmcut. Didn't Punish Him.?At the annual banquet of the Notre Dame society of Chicago, Dean William Hoyne, who was recently made a knight of St. Gregory by Pope Pius, told of an experience ht had had some years ago at Notre Dame while teaching a pupil who is now a leading member of the Chicago bar. "This young man," said Dean Hoyne. "had a habit of going to sleep in class, and this was very aggravating to me. No matter how important the lecture was he was sure to be asleep at the most Important part. "I Anally decided one day to deal with him severely the next time he went to sleep during class* The lecture was dry, I will admit that, and the day was warm, and sure enough my sleepy friend was soon sound asleep. Walking up beside him I shouted his name at the top of my voice. He start* ? ? J J * ? ea up ana iouk^u ui iuc ucwuucicy. " 'Young: man, how do you expect to learn law?' I demanded. 'By Intuition?" " 'No, sir,' came the answer quick as a flash, 'by paying tuition.' "And the laugh was on me. I had to let him off and didn't punish him, and today he is one of the best known .a yers in Chicago. The Best Woman.?Miss Susan B. Anthony, the social reformer, had no more bitter opponent than Horace Greely, the famous editor and journalist. It was for a long time his custom to wind up all debates with the conclusive remark: "The best women 1 know do not want to vote." When the New York constitution was being altered in 1867 Miss Anthony laid a trap for him, savs a biographer. She wrote to Mrs. Greely and persuaded her not only to sign a petition herself,.but to circulate the paper and get 300 signatures among her acquaintances. In committee Mr. Greely, who was chairman, had listened to the debate and was prepared to introduce to the convention an adverse report. He was Just about to utter his usual "settler" when George William Curtis rose. "Mr. Chairman," said he. "I hold In my hand a petition for suffrage signed by 300 women of Westchester, headed by Mrs. Horace Greeley." The chairman's embarrassment could hardly be controlled. He had found that one of the "best women I know" wanted to vote. His Choice of Weapons.?John P. Irish of San Francisco was counsel before the state department in the matter of a claim of an American client against one of the Latin-American republics. The Latin republic didn't want to pay, and there was a long dispute, during which the representative of the southern country claimed Irish had put a stain on his honor and said h< intended to challenge Irish to a duel. John Hay, then secretary of state, told Irish about the affair and asked: "What will you do, Irish?" "Accept it, of course." "Accept it?" "Certainly, and I shall name the weapons." "What weapons shall you choose." "Feet," exclaimed Irish. "Good Iowa feet, the kind I was born with; and I'll kick that diplomatist down the street until the police interfere with the proceedings."?Saturday Evening Post. The Hypocrit?.?The Rev. George R. Lunn, the new mayor of Schenectady, says, "I don't preach, 'Give to the poor,' but 'Stop taking from the poor." Mr. Lunn, discussing this dictum the other day, said: "The millionaire social reformer, unless he is a very sincere man, always reminds me of the husband who brought home one evening a bottle of champagne and a lobster. "It is your birthday, dear,' he said to his wife, 'and I purchased these delicacies as a little treat for you this evening with your birthday dinner.' " 'You are very kind,' the woman answered. 'but I thought you knew I never touch champagne, love, while lobster Invariably disagrees with me'. " 'Never mind, my dear, never mind ' the husband answered. "That being the case, I'll Just eat the lobster myself, and drink the champagne to your health.' "?Albany Journal. No Kicks..?The other day a dairycompany's complaint clerk was called to the telephone. A woman's voice was heard. "This is Mrs. Mixln," said she. "I want to know if your cows are contented ?" "Wha-a-at?" asked the amazed complaint clerk. She repeated her question. "I see that your rivals advertise that their cows are all contented," said she. "I will begin to take their milk unless 1 am assured that your cows are all happy." The complaint clerk begged her to hold the phone a moment. Then he went away and gnawed a corner off his desk. When he got his voice under control he returned to the phone. "I've Just been looking up the books, mum," said he, "and I am happy to say that we have not received a complaint from a single one of our cows."?Argonaut. Not Expert Testimony.?A popular citizen of Iiouisville and a Cincinnati clubman went on the water wagon for a year, with a $1,000 penalty to belaid against the one who fell off first. Three weeks later the Cincinnati man made a trip in a private car to Mississippi. The men on the car urged mm to suspend the water-wagon nonsense and so he wired to his friend for a week's reprieve, giving a a reason that the water down there was simply awful and unfit to drink. The friend immediately wired back: "No chance on such testimony. You are not sufficiently well acquainted with water after a three-weeks' trial to qualify as an expert. No."?Saturday Evening Post. A Soft Answer.?John P. Irish spoke in California against woman suffrage. One night after a meeting in Sacramento a m." ant suffragette came up to him and >,<xid in stern, cruel tones: "John P. Irish, you're a low-down liar! The tru?.ii isn't in you!" "Madam," Irish rejoined, "is it so bad as that? Wouldn't you believe anything I say?" "Not a thing. I wouldn't believe a word you utter. You can't tell the truth." "In taht case," replied Irish, permit me to say, madam you are a perfect lady."?Saturday Evening Post. Z2T "What of his sense of humor?" "Well, he has to see a Joke twice before he sees it once."?Lipplncott's. Polly?"I understand Gladys made a hit at the opera with her new gown." Dolly?"It was a revelation, no one else showed up half so well."? Exchange. Miscellaneous ^cadint). BIGGEST POKER GAME KNOWN. Memorable Session Between Gates and Johnson?$200,000 Changed Hands. John W. Gates is no more; Davy C. Johnson, plunger and owner of Roseben, has also gone the way of all flesh, but New York will not soon forget either the genial financier, whose motto was, "Life Itself is nothing but a gamble," or the former owner of the matchless thoroughbred which raced seven furlongs in 1:22 and helped Davy win a half dozen fortunes. In the circles of chance, where the rattle of the little sphere of ivory and the click of the buttons on the casekeeper is still heard in spite of police activity, "Bet-you-a-mlllion" Gates and "Plunger" Johnson will long be remembered. The reason is not buried deeply. They both were men of a ready courage, willing to flip pennies for $1,000 a flip, or to wager a small fortune on what some third person had eaten for lunch. Their word was as good as gold certificates fresh from the bureau of engraving and printing; they were never seen to shed tears over a lost bet. John Gates was a natural born gamester. With equal readiness he would tackle a slot machine or "goshort" on 50,000 shares of Union Pacific. To him everything was a gamble. He admitted of no fine distinction?so long as the game was fair and square. Sporting men say of Davy Johnson that he could win faster than any man who ever staked a dollar. "Bet high, hit 'em hard and double up the stakes," he was often heard to say. As a matter of course, he could lose Just as quickly, and when Roseben was not running well he was more than once forced to borrow money for his stable expenses. Naturally, when Davy Johnson and John Gates got tgether over a poker table, it gave sportsmen something to talk about. Eventually the evening came. They got together. A game ensued. And New York and all the sporting world is still talking about It. One evening in the late fall during the progress of the Sheepshead Bay meeting Gates came up from the track. He had had a very successful day, had picked a number of winners at decent odds and had "pyramided" his winnings until the bookmakers waved his commissioner away. Altogether he was said to have cleaned up the respectable sum of a little over $224,000. Roseben had been running that day and Davy Johnson was a heavy winner. At that time Davy was interested in an establishment of chance in Fortythird street, and when Gates was in town, he was in the habit of dropping in on Davy for a little whirl at roulette or a boxful or two of faro. Large sums of money changed hands on such occasions, but as yet neither of them had ever been properly "hooked up" over a poker table with, good cards in their hands. Gates, after a modest supper and a peep at the last two acts of a musical comedy, made his way to Johnson's. The upper floor was pretty well crowded, but he found a seat at the faro table, where Davy himself was perched | upon the lookout stool. "What's the limit, Davy?" asked Gates, a3 the dealer slid him a stack of chocolate-colored chips representing $2,000. Davy smiled, wiped his glasses and then waved toward the ceiling. John got busy with the game, but the fates seemed against him. If he liked the queen open it invariably lost. If he coppered it to lose, it won. His first stack of chips was lost before the turn of the first boxful. With more chips he tried all sorts of bets. He heeled his bets all over the layout. He tried the high card. He tried calling each turn, but could not even "dope out a cat-hop." In fact, he was whipsawed from the soda card to the hock. Daylight filtered into the room. All the other players had long since quit to watch the financier's heavy play. Gates counted up the markers against him and learned that he was a little over $200,000 to the bad. "You're taking away about all I won at the track," he laughed up at Davy. Johnson was tired. He looked at the clock, yawned and made some trivial, good-natured reply. But Gates had noted the yawn. "I'll tell you what I'll do, Davy," proposed Gates. "The dealer's tired. Let him turn up the box and go home. You're tired, too, but what do you say to a- little two-handed game of draw for just thirty minutes? Then we'll stop, win or lose." Davy nodded, and while Gates wrote a check for his indebtedness at the faro table the attendants produced a box of fresh cards and turned on the lights over a poker table. For possibly fifteen or twenty minutes the game ran on. The hands were small and the players wary, as the words "no limit" had been pronounced. It was an even break up to this juncture. It was Davy's deal and Gates had made it $500 to play. One by one the financier picked up his cards without looking at their faces. He bunched them, with his eyes on Johnson to see whether or not he intended to play. The latter, having finished dealing for the time being, picked up his hand. After a brief glance at the indicators he tossed four blue chips into the pot. Each chip represented $500, therefore his action meant that Gates would have to pay $1,500 to play. The crowd surrounding the table edged in closer. It began to look as if there might be a little high play after all "Holding pretty good cards, Davy, ain't you?" said Gates. He skinned his own hand and then counted out 13 of the blue chips into the pot. "It'll cost you 55,000 more to draw to that good hand of yours," he commented. Already the pot held $9,000 and the end was not in sight. The onlookers drew closer. They all knew the temper of the two players and realized that a battle royal was imminent. Davy peered over his glasses at Gates for an instant and then he turned to his chips. Coolly, without saying a word, he counted out 25 of the blue chips and pushed the stack into the middle of the table. He had seen the $5,000 raise and hoisted it $7,500 himself. Gates never moved an eyebrow. With a murmured "I know you had "em, Davy," the financier pushed 15 of the blue chips toward the center of the table. Twenty-nine thousand dollars was in the pot and neither of the men had drawn cards as yet. The observers held their breaths. Truly, this was poker with a vengeance. "Two cards'll do me," called Gates as Davy picked up the deckhand. With nimble fingers the owner of Roseben slid off the two top cards and passed them to his friend and opponent. He them helped himself to two cards. So far as the onlookers could see each man must have three of a kind, for they both knew poker too well to hold "kickers" or to draw to a three-card flush. Furthermore, bluffing would not work, for neither of the players would lay down his hand without at least calling the other. In attempting to get a look at the game one of the attendants inadvertently tipped over a stool. Alarmed by the noise, their.nerves on edge, the crowd of observers fairly jumped up; but the two players never moved a muscle. They were intent upon the game. Gates had no chips left. He rarely carried money in large amounts. He felt for his card case and pencil. Scribbling some figures on a card, he then tossed it into tne pot, smiting meanwhile at Davy. The latter leaned over and read the penciled inscription. It ran, according to bystanders close enough to observe, "I. O. U. $25,000. J. W. G." The financier had seen Davy's $5,000 bet and had gone back at him with a $20,000 raise. Davy sized up the pot. It was a rare one, representing the tidy little fortune of $59,000. Slowly and carefully Davy skinned his cards and then laid them down. He alone knew what he held, so carefully did he spread the pasteboards until the indicators were barely exposed. In a low tone?almost a whisper, in fact?he spoke to one of his faro dealers who stood near by, requesting a slip of paper and a pencil. His own supply of chips was exhausted. Accounts differ as to "what Davy wrote on the slip of paper, but the consensus of opinion is that it was 'an I. O. U. for the staggering sum of $91,000. Roseben's owner had not only seen the Steel and Wire man's $20,000 raise, but he had "come back" with a $71,000 raise, probably the greatest sum of money ever wagered at one "raise" in the history of poker. John Gates, usually a rapid thinker and player, hesitated. There was an even $150,000 in the pot at this juncture. No one has ever ventured to explain why he paused, for he was accustomed to deal in large sums of money, frequently carrying from $25,000,000 to $35,000,000 worth of stocks on a margin and often cleaning up a million or two in the course of a short business day. Leisurely he produced his card case once more and then felt for his pencil. A milk wagon rattled by in the street below. One of the negro attendants, absorbed In the game, gripped the arm of another onlooker so hard that the latter turned and pushed him away. Neither Gates nor Davy paid any attention. Then a silence ensued, disturbed only by the labored breathing of the watchers. Verily this was draw poker for fair. "What was Gates going to do?" That was the question each man asked himself. Slowly the pencil of the financier crept over the face of the visiting card, his left hand shielding the writing. All present knew that he would call Davy, but all wondered if he would raise, and. if he did, what the amount would be. The writing finished, John Gates leisurely replaced the pencil in his pocket. He turned toward the card face down upon the green cloth, but made no move to put it in the pot. cmlla loft hlc fano fc\r nn in?tnnt as he shot a glance at Davy, but if he expected to learn anything from the expression upon the plunger's face he was disappointed. Davy's expression resembled somewhat that of the Sphinx on a rainy afternoon. He glanced carelessly at Gates and then at the card. "What are you doin', John?" he asked finally. Without reply the financer turned the card face up and pushed it toward the middle of the table. The inscription upon it ran, "I. O. U. $71,000." John Gates had simply "called," and it was up to Davy to show his hand. For some minutes Davy Johnson sat like a statue. He seemed not to realize the fact that his hand had been called, and Gates grew somewhat impatient. It was Davy Johnson's time to bet. Without looking at the two cards he had drawn he threw 10 chips into the pot, now representing the sum of $34,000. Gates smiled. He then looked at his hand, and the bystanders noticed that the smile neither broadened nor faded. Gates was a poker player. No one but he himself knew whether the draw had bettered his hand. "Play cards, Davy." he said. "I've called you. What've you got?" One by one Davy laid his cards down face upon the table. Three queens and a pair of kings were disclosed?a full house of great merit. Davy peered over his glasses at Gates. "Does it look good to you, John?" he asked. "It's no good. Davy!" Gates shouted, the nervous tension over. "I've got an ace full here!" Banging his left fist down upon the table, Gates then slapped the five cards upon the cloth. He had spoken the truth. Three "bullets" and a pair of kings appeared. He had won! The big game was over and Gates I raked in the staggering pot of $221, 000, nearly a quarter of a million. Accounts differ as to the exact amount contained in the huge pot. Accounts differ as to Davy's hand, some of the bystanders asserting that it was a king full which the latter held. In the latter event John Gates could not have held a pair of kings to bolster up his three aces, as decks containing five kings were never to be seen around Davy's establishment. At any rate, all the onlookers agree that John Gates won the pot with an ace full, and that his full was a little larger than Davy's. And they are also agreed that there was more than $200,000 in the pot of pots, and that the game lasted a brief half hour. Davy, with sublime nerve, as cool as an iced cucumber in spite of tne difference of more than $400,000 which his losing hand had cost him, spoke: "Better have a cup of coffee before you go home. John." he said. 'Thanks, Davy. I will," replied the financier. Five minutes later a taxicab was summoned, John Gates was rolling toward his apartment, and the biggest poker game in history was over.? , WON A BATTLE OF BLUFF. True Story of How a Member of the Down-And-Out Club Made Good. When I struck town I didn't have a red cent. I hadn't eaten a thin? for eighteen hours, my clothes were ragged, and I needed a shave. The prospects of a Job at anything were nil. The parks and bread lines usually take care of men such as I was. Yet before I'd been In the Mecca of the Come-ons forty-eight hours, I had in my pocket a five-dollar note, had a room In which to sleep, had eaten all I needed, had been shaved and massaged, my hair was cut, singed and shampooed, and I had even had my nails manicured by a gossipy girl. I wore a suit of new, well-made clothes, new linen and hat and shoes. Nor was this all, for I had already obtained a job that would bring in an envelope each week containing $25 and some trimmings. How did I do it? Oh pure bluff. On undiluted nerve!" I read in a magazine once the story of a man who, Jobless for months, down at elbows and out at the knees, Rnpnt his last half dollar on flowers for his wife. She liked flowers, and he wished his last act to please her. As he stood wearily on a corner, flowers in hand, he met his old employer. The flowers looked like money. The man had been a good worker, and when he saw his old boss he smiled. And he got his job back, ft is a question whether It was the apparent wealth or the optimism that turned the trick, but It may have been both. It was, of course, just a magazine story, a pathetic, heart-tugging story invented to sell, you know, but It impressed me. I said when I read it that if I was ever on my uppers in New York city I'd bluff myself Into good fortune and smile myself solid. Well, I was on my uppers. And hungry! A steaming dinner would have killed me. Food had to be procured before anything else. I wandered down Park Row. I was just in front of a big saloon when a decent-looking chap made for the door. "Say," said I, "goin' to get a drink?" "By myself," he answered. "Oh, that's all right; I'm not a drinking man, and I'm not panhandling. Goin' to hit the free lunch " He looked quizzically at me. "No," he replied. "Care if I go In with you?" "Go as far as you like," he said. So we went Inside. He walked to the bar. I walked to the "eats." The man in charge tried to shove me away as I made a sandwich. "I'm with that fellow over there," I said. "Ask him.'" He said so. I said: "Didn't I come in with you?" The customer smiled. "You sure did," he said. And so I made up another sandwich. The other fellow was entitled to it, and, In a sense, I was subbing for him. I duplicated this performance three times at three different saloons. Then I felt better. I walked into an office?two, four, six, eight offices?and asked for work. I looked disgraceful; I walked out each time with a turndown. By that time?I had struck town at noon?I discovered I must raise the wind for sleeping quarters. I detest publicity in sleeping apartments, and, my game being bluff, I wasn't going to "bone" any one for the price. I hit on what I thought to be a novel plan? and the odd corners of which I have since squared up, for my conscience sake. I saw two men get on a car and stand on the platform. I followed them. The conductor came for fares. I held out my hand. ''My two friends and myself," I said. He rang up three in anticipation, when I said: "Stop the car; you let my quarter fall to the ground." I hadn't dropped anything. Understand, though, we were at the edge of the platform, and a coin could have dropped. "One on me," said the conductor good-humoredly. "A quarter? There's your dime change. Just that much I'll be short In my knocking down; that's all." "Pardon me," inquired one of the two men. "did you pay for us?" "I did. I thought you were friends of mine, and I meant to surprise you," I replied. He handed me a dime. "That's for us," he said. I rode ten blocks. Going back I did the same thins:, in eacn case, however. taking- the conductor's number for later reckoning. I figured the company wasn't getting the worst of it, for the fare-takers were knocking down anyway. I now had 40 cents in my possession. Ten of these I spent for something to eat and something hot to drink; 20 went for bed for the night, leaving me breakfast money for the morning. The trouble seemed to be in presenting a decent enough appearance to get work?and the extra day's beard hadn't made me look any better. On my nerve I strolled into a barber's shop. I meant to bluff the knight of the razor into giving me a shave. I have always been observant. It often pays. Two men were waiting their turns for the chair. In careless fashion I first engaged them in conversation, finally turning the talk into guesses on the number of strokes it takes a barber to shave a man. "Fifty," said one. "I mean, times he lifts the razor and puts it back on the face," I explained. "A hundred is about right," observed the other. "Well? I'll tell you what I'll do," I said. "If, when I'm getting shaved, the barber doesn't take 200 strokes, I'll stand the expense of the three of us in here." And I was, mind you, without a cent! But I had observed. "And if he does it in more," one asked. "You'll club together and pay for my shave." "I'll pay for the haircut for you," he laughed, "if you"?to the other?"pay for his shave." The barber took 218 strokes over my face the first time around; the "close shave" we did not add to this. I say "we," for the two men also counted. "Sport," said the one who had volunteered the haircut, "have a singe and a shampoo on me, too; it's worth it." "And get your nails mapicured on me," chimed in the other. They gave me their cards. I told them my name. And we agreed to get together some day and eat a dinner. My bluff had worked, much to the hpnpfit nf mv nersnnnl Annpnrnnpp There remained still, however, the problem of clothing; and to solve that enough, even for the unresourceful fellow, to find plenty of reading:, plenty of pood entertainment?libraries, free lectures and free-for-all auditorium concerts around. But to spring out of a tramp-like ripping into the clothing befitting a gentleman requires finesse and considerable discrimination in the display of nerve. The man who comes into New York from the great know-it-all country is unaware that in the big town, and especially on Long Lane, where money is spent and minted, the clothing makes the man. I do believe there js work within the municipality for everybody in it, but the fact remains that there is always an immense army of unemployed. And I was of that army. To work, to get work, one must look well. That's one reason why so many are idle. The other reason is that they don't work. The question is, how can one dress well without a nickel to one's name The answer is?bluff, simple, elemental nerve. Anyway, that was the answer I made to my own question. I was shaved and clean. My hair was trimmed and my nails manicured. I must now get clothes. And I got them in a strange way. I walked a few blocks noting the character of the many relatively small tailor stores I passed. I was looking for one that displayed enterprise, that was new, that was putting out stylish goods. At last I found it. I entered and asked for the proprietor. "I'm going to spring a new one on you," I told him, with a smile. I'm fond of smiling, by the way; it costs nothing and brings good luck. "I want a suit of clothes. My others are on the way?that Is, I haven't them with me. I've got to meet a man and it means work for me If I am well dressed. I'd like you to fit me out. At the end of the week I'll come In and pay you for the clothes. Before a year I'll buy two more suits, a light overcoat and an overcoat. How about it?" The wind was knocked out of him. He stared wild-eyed at me for a moment, then he asked, "What is this, a touch for a suit?" "It is," I admitted candidly. "I'm not begging, borrowing or stealing the suit. I'm simply getting it a week ahead of time on my nerve." He eyed me up and down, sideways and backways, through and through, and pondered. "I'll take a chance." he said finally, "but not with a good suit" "Not an expensive suit," I interjected; "but make it a good one, or I'll give my trade to another tailor." And we both laughed. He got out a business suit he could Ben lur 10 anu mtuic u. living (> uui vu and handed It to me. I retired and put it on. "A splendid fit," I said, "but you forgot to put a handkerchief in the pocket." "You're nervy all right," he remarked. 'I don't suppose I'll ever see you again." I told him my name, once more promising him a good order in the next year, and then departed. I had wiped my shoes with my old clothes and they looked fairly well. In fact, I was quite pleased with myself as I strolled out in search of a Job. No sooner had I turned a corner than I heard a man and a woman? his wife, I suppose?talking about clothes. He was going to buy a suit, but was undecided where to go. I sprang into the breach. "Pardon me," I said, "but I Just heard you. I'm not a barker or a puller-ln, but a friend of mine Just did me a good turn and I'd like to sendK trade his way. He keeps good clothes and sells moderately. Of course, you don't have to go there, but why not give him a look in? You won't have to buy." I had taken his arm and was directing him to the store I had Just left. The proprietor was in the doorway. I parted from the couple, and went on my way in search of work. I got four consecutive turndowns flatly administered, the fifth request met with an appointment the next morning, the sixth was a lucky strike?temporarily. They needed some one to run off a bunch of letters on the mimeograph. There was only 75 cents In it, I was told. The money looked good to me, and I did the work, which lasted two hours. It was then noon. I bought a tencent hot meal, a ten-cent collar and a five-cent made-up bow necktie. Then, after putting them on, I was on my way again. Accidentally I passed the shop of my friend the tailor. He saw me smiled and beckoned. "Your friend bought a suit," he told me. "He wasn't a friend of mine. I Just advised him to come here, that's all. Glad you made a sale.'" "He said he'd been told to come here I'm much obliged to you. Will you let your commission be taken off the price of the suit you are wearing, or have a pair of shoes or a hat?" "Commission? I didn't do it for commission; Just to throw trade your way. But if it's coming, I'll take a pair of shoes?I take off my hat when I'm asking for work. Besides, I've got half a dollar and I might be able to buy one for that." He said it was time for his luncheon, so he'd go out and buy me some shoes. We came to a hat store and entered. "Charlie," said the tailor, "as your hats cost you about $4 a dozen, could you afford to sell this gentleman one for 50 cents? I'll call it giving me the discounts." The hatter grinned. "Pick out your shape," he said, "and tell me your size." Five minutes later I was trying on a pair of shoes, a rah-rah hat of the mode was perched on my head, and when, with my brogans cast aside and my new shoes on, I quit the premises I was a changed man from the morning. But, as was the case earlier, I was broke. Nothing is impossible; take that irom me. let i nna u aimusi iiiipuasible to write out my yarn so that it carries the credence it deserves. New Yorkers are so accustomed to panhandling ne'er-do-wells that they think?if they give thought to the matter at all?it is beyond the power of any of them to raise themselves to a level of respectability. That is the barrier my narrative must batter down before my tale is credited; for, you see, I anticipate skepticism. The world is as full of it today as when Columbus declared the earth to be round. Here I was, garbed, but penniless. I would have taken any kind of a job, from carrying an advertising banner along Nassau street to the acting presidency of a trust company. While I was thinking about this and wondering where next my nerve was to be displayed. I stood in the lobby of office building. I stood in the lobby of an office building. A man shoved against me as an excuse to talk. He was a sorehead. I've met his kind in many towns. He was a pessimist, with a turned-down mouth and a tale of woe. Under his arm was a small pile of books. "Rotten business, this book selling," he volunteered. "So? What's there to it?" "Been two weeks without a sale." "What's the book " He showed me. I'm not advertising them here, but they looked good to me. "What d'ye get for selling them?" I queried. "A five-spot. Looks easy. "Tain't." I pricked up my ears. I asked questions about the books. I found out all he knew of them and the terms of sale. "Why," said I, "I could sell ten sets of them a day." "Sell one set in the next two hours and I'll divide up with you," he replied. He had his nerve there, all right, but as my book was no good without his bait, I r.odded my head. "Watch me," I said, and took his books. Now, if there's one man who's up against it it's a book agent. Nobody loves a book agent?and they're usually unmarried, too. Nobody, will spare time to talk to him, and all doors are closed to him. I figured that if I could get away with the book agent game I would have proved my nerve to myself, besides corraling 12.50. "I'm going to try Smith, the paper man." I said, looking over the directory of the building. "I tried him," snapped the pessimist; "there's nothin' doin.'" "Watch me," I said again. Smith, the paper man, was busy. He didn't want the books, had no time to iook ai em, nau no use ior em anyway. But Smith, the paper man, did buy 'em, because I proved he wanted 'em. "Say," he said, handing: me the five, while my partner in crime?who ha looked and listened in wonderment? was making out a receipt, "say, you're the nerviest fellow I've met in a long while." |. I had'him split the money so that I [could get mine. "So?" I queried. "You don't know me. Excuse me a moment." I turned to the book agent, "Go thou and do likewise," I quoted, and turned back to Smith, the paper man. "You don't know me," I repeated. "I've got something better up my sleeve. I was only doing the book-selling act to show that fellow how to sell; he was so discouraged: now I want something for myself. The man who. doesn't ask for anything never gets' anything, except the worst of it. You've seen me make good. "You're a business man. You've got bad bills outstanding naturally. I'm looking for employment. What about hiring me to collect your bills?" "I've got two men out now, and they aren't earning their salt." He shook his head dolefully. "Could they sell you a set of books you didn't want?" I asked. "I've shown you my ability. If you don't want me, another man does." I fingered the receipt lying on the desk. Briefly let me tell it. We came to terms. I was to get $25 a week, and, as an incentive, a commission on all over a certain amount. "But," I told him, "I need a tendollar bill to put myself on my feet." Did I get it? I did. And so I found myself in the prosperous condition I have related. It was all done on nerve. That's all there is to the yarn, excepting a postscript, that, like the morals they used to tack on stories when I was a youngster, will not be out of place. Having landed, I'm plugging hard to carry out my bluff. I'm honest with everybody, and I'm bringing in results to the front office. I've got started, and I don't intend to be sidetracked. As an experiment in sociological conditions my experience shows there is work in New York City for the man who wants it and who can bluff nis way into a position to get it.?New 1 York Telegraph. 1 "WILD MAN OF BORNEO" DEAD. Plutano, Famous Barnum Attraction, Gives Up Life at Ninety-two. Plutano, the second of the famous pair of "wild men of Borneo," died in Waltham, Mass., aged ninety-two. Plutano and his companion, Wano, who died in 1906, were the original "wild men of Borneo" and as such were exhibited all over the world by P. T. Barnum and others. No one ever knew Just where they came from, but the story which was often told and which was taken as the best one was that one Captain Hammond while on a voyage landed in I Rnrnpn centnred the two men and brought them to New York. They were christened Wano and Plutano. They were also known as Hiram and Wilmano Davis. They were first looked after by Henry Harvey, an old showman, but in She will not bum will not burn hei she uses the New ] / For toast or roast) For boil or broil j | For fry or bake ) Every dealer has it Handso top, drop shelves, towel racks, etc quoise-blue. Made with 1, 2 and evary stove. Cook-Book also given mailing cost STANDARD C (Incorporated i NEWARK. N. J. * This is The Place TO BUY YOUR GR0CERIE8. See us for FLOUR, MEAL, CORN and OATS, and all kinds of COW and HORSE FEED. See us for MEAT, LARD, and the best quality of HAMS. See us for SUGAR, COFFEE, TEAS and EXTRACTS. See us for IRISH POTATOES, CABBAGE, Etc. We are selling for CASH. Yours for business, Yorkville Banking t Mercantile Co. an MEAT MARKET C. F. SHERER, Prop. We keep everything that is good in the MEAT line, and ha..dle only the BEST. STALL FED STEERS are a specialty with us, and also fine Western Beef. The Finest CURED HAMS tq be had anywhere, Raw or Boiled, by the Whole Ham or by the Pound_to suit the customer. Also BreaKiast Bacon. We buy all the Butter we can handle and sell all the Eggs we can get. We are always In the market paying the Highest Cash Prices for Beef Cattle, Calves and nice Fat Hens. We study to please the trade, and If things are not right we take pleasure In making them right. Yours for quality, C. F. SHERER. J. R. Lindsay Robert Witherspoon J. R. Lindsay & Co. INSURANCE and REAL ESTATE We Are Prepared to Handle All Kinds of Insurance? FIRE, LIFE, ACCIDENT, HEALTH, TORNADO, LIVE STOCK, EMPLOYERS' LIABILITY, PLATE GLASS and AUTOMOBILE. Any business entrusted to us will receive prompt and careful attention. Have had years of experience in Insurance matters and Represent FirstClass Companies with Large Resources. We make a specialty of furnishing FIDELITY BONDS on short notice. Parties having REAL ESTATE TO SELL OR EXCHANGE, Or who wish to buy property, will do well to see us FIRST. Write or call on us for any informa- i tion in our lines. J. R. Lindsay & Go. , 1867 Captain Haneford A. Warner took charge of them, and they had been with the Warner family since. The "wild men" were small, but powerful, and could lift two heavy men with ease. XiT "What does George say in his letter?" "Oh, the usual lot of nonsense ?undying love, eternity, despair and all the rest of it." "What are you going to do about it?" "Oh, return It unopened, my dear!"?Illustrated Bits. MEDICAL COLLEGE I OF THE STATE OF SOUTH CAROLINA CHARLESTON, 8. C. MEDICINE AND PHARMACY. Session open* Oct. 1st. ltll, ends June |d. 1111. Unsurpassed clinical advantages offered by the new Roper Hospltsi, one of tbs largest and best equipped hospitals in the 8outh. Extensive outdoor and Dispensary 8ervlce under control of the Faculty. Nine appointments each year for graduates in medicine for Hospital and Dispensary services. Medical and Pharmaceutical Laboratories recently enlarged and fully equipped. Department of Physiology and Embryology in affiliation with the Charleston Museum. Practical work for medical and pharmaceutical students a special feature. For Catalogue, Address ROBERT WILSON. JR.. M. D.. Cor. Queen and Franklin Sta, Charleston, & C. WHY NOT POLLOCK? ? New J Perfection I ? Toaster Anyone, even a little girl, can make toast on the New Vtrfcciion wmu in lujifc Oil Cook-stove the toast, and she r fingers either, if Perfection Toaster. there is no other store that is as quick and as handy as the New Perfection Oil Cook-store ? the convenient stove for all purposes, all the year round. mely finished in nickel, with cabinet Long chimneys, enameled tur3 burners. Free Cook-Book with to anyone sending 3 cents to cover )IL COMPANY n New Jersey) BALTIMORE. MP. LUMBER If you need any kind of Lumber, either Dressed or Rough, Green or Kiln-Dried, come and see us for what you need. We can supply your wants at the Right Prices. If you want Doors, 8ash, Blinds, Frames, Window Weights, Looks, Hinges, Nails or other Building Supplies come and see us before you buy. If you expect to Build or Remodel any buildings see us about the work before making any contracts. J. J. KELLER & COMPANY. Fresh Arrivals Fresh Mackerel, Salt Herring, White Fish, Sweet and Sour Cucumber Pickles, Big Hominy in Cans, Kraut In Cans, Pure Honey, Tomato Catsup, Canned Corn and Peas, Apple Butter, Barrel Coffee, Coffee In Cans, Quaker Oats, Toasted Corn Flakes, Jell-O, Gold Medal Tooth Picks, All kinds of Candles, See us for Tomato Plants. J. M. BRIAN COMPANY. frofwsional fljards. D. E. Finley J. A. Marion Finley & Marion ATTORNEYS AT LAW Opposite Court House Yorkvllle, S. C. J.HARRY FOSTER ATTORNEY AT LAW, Yorkvllle, 8outh Carolina. W Office In McNeel Building. Dr. B. G. BLACK 8urg?on Dentist. Office second floor of the New McNeel building. At Clover Tuesday and Friday of each week. Geo. W. S. Hart. Jos. E Hart. HART & HART ATTORNEYS AT LAW Yorkville S. C. No. 1. Law Range. 'Phone (Office) 68, JOHN R. HART ATTORNEY AT LAW No. 3 Law Range. YORKVILLE, 3. C. J. S. BKICE, ATTORNEY AT LAW Office Opposite Court House. Prompt attention to all legal business of whatever nature. FOR SALE j, 130 Acres?5 miles west of the city of Rock Hill. Joining farms of A. E. Willia, John Mcllwaine and W. L. Plexico. Tliia ia one of the beat producing farma per acre in Ebenezer township; good pasture, hog wire; 3 horse farm open; dwelling has 5 rooms; good tenant house with 3 rooms. Property of Johnson Cameron. For prices apply to J. C. Wilborn, Yorkville, S. C. 116 A ires?The Holmes Place; Joining Ho.brooka Good, Ed Thomas and [others; a nice new cottage, 6 rooms, good barn; also a nice 5 room house and store room, barn, etc. Located at cross roada Good land at the low pries 4 of *4,200. 177 Acres Property of Marlon B. Love, three miles from Sharon station and six miles from Yorkville; 29 acres In cultivation, balance In timber. Some of the finest oak timber in York _ county on this place. Pries *17.00 per m sore. 951-2 Acres?Joins J. B. Scott. Ed Sand iter and depot grounds at Philadelphia; 75 acres in cultivation; 1 dwelling house, 4 rooms; 2 tenant houses. Property of J. P. Barnes. A great bargain. . 166 Acres?In Ebenezer township; 1 mile of Newport, 1 mile of Tlrxah church. A nice 2-story, 7-room dwelling; several good tenant houses. High state of cultivation. Wilson Huey. 1012-3 Acres Joining McGill store at Bethany, fronting King's Mountain road; 1 dwelling, 6 rooms; barn, cot- ' ton house and crib; property of Charlie Douglass. This Is a cheap bargain and can be bought at once 331-2 Acres?On King's Mountain rruj A Ana mlla Datho nv Uiarti ?VHU, VilV tliltU M VIU UVUUHi/ il School; land lies level; 17 acre* In cultivation, balance in Umber. A part of the Douglass tract. 68 Aorea?More or less, joining C. M. Inman, Norman Black and others. One mile from the Incorporate limits of Yorkvllle^About 35 acres clear, balance In timber. One 3-room house, good barn. etc. i 150 Acres?1 dwelling, 5 rooms; 70 * acres in culUvaUon; 60 acres in Umber; 2 1-2 miles of Smyrna; 1 tenant house, new, with 4 rooms; good barn, crib, lumber and buggy house. Property of H. M. Bradley. Price, $8,000.00. 160 Acres?Joining Mrs. MaUle a Nichols, T. J. Nichols and others. The property of L R. Williams. Price, 921.00 an Acre. 810 Acres?2| miles of Sharon; 1 dwelling house, 2 tenant houses, good barn; half mile of Sutton Springs school. Splendid Farm. A Nice Cottage Home?In the town of Smyrna; 5 rooms, situated near the Graded school building. One of the best cottages In town. Price, $650. Jfk 800 Acres?Tom Qwln home, three " miles of Sharon; 8 tenant houses; a large brick residence, worth twothirds of the whole price of the farm, for $3,800. 318 Acres?Joins R. B. Hartnees, M. B. Love and others. 1 House, 1-story, 6 rooms; 5 tenant houses, all well fin- w ished; 1 6-room, 4 S-room; good barn, double crib; hydraulic ram running water to hojuse; 2 good pastures; 165 acres under cultivation; ISO in Umber. Prioe upon application. Property of John T. Feemster. 20 Acres?At Filbert One-story house, 4 rooms; onhalf red and other sandy. Prioe, $1,00040. . 14 Acres Joins L. Ferguson, Frank Smith, J. W. Dobson. 1 house, 1-story, 6 rooms. Price, $1,30040. 220 Acres?Near King's Mountain Battleground; 1 house, 1-story, seven rooms, New; 26 acreu under culUva- J Uon, balance In timber; I miles from " King's Creek. Good new barn, dressed lumber; 2 tenant houses, 8 rooms each. Price, $15.75 per Aore. 200 Acres?Fronting public road, 1story 4-room house; 4 horse farm open; 76 acres in Umber; 2 miles from Rod- 4 dey. Price, $3000 per Acre. Residence of J. J. Smith, deceased, in Clover, on King's Mountain street; 2 stories, 7 rooms; wood house; barn, cow stable; good garden; well for stock near barn. 75 Aorea?Level land. Si miles from Sharon; 1 house; 40 acres In cultivation. Price, $2040 per Aore. Walter G. Hayes. A or Acres?z miles ortHickory Grove; on put lie highway; fronting Southern rallwav. Price, (20.00 an Acre. 153 Acree?Jolna T. W. Jackson, L. T. Wood and others; 1 2-story room house; 1 tenant house, 4 rooms; < miles of Newport Prioe, (21.00 Acre. A beautiful lot and residence of Mrs. Wk Ada E. Faulconer. On Best Liberty * street, 100 feet front, about 400 feet deep; Joins Rev. E. E. Gillespie and Hon. G. W. S. Hart Priee on Application. 369 Acres In Bamberg Co*?Joining lands of D. O. Hunter and B. F. 8 in oak; 126 acres In cultivation, balance in timber; at one of the finest schools In me county; 1-4 mue oi cnurcn. nucn of the land In this neighborhood produced 1 bale of cotton to the acre. Any one wishing a fine bargain will do well to investigate it 102 Acres, Fairfield Co.?Joining lands of R. S. Dunbar. 4 miles of Woodward station On Little river; 40 acres w in cultivation. Pries, 1860.00. Do you want Bargains in Moore Co., N. C.7 See me ana talk it over. J. C. WILBORN. WHY NOT POLLOCK? ~~ Geo. W. Knox J. L. 8tacy, President 8eo. and Mgr. CLOVER REAL ESTATE CO. ' CLOVER, 8. C. 1. One 6-room House and Lot situated in Clover on R.R. St; good well and barn; large lot; fine situation. 8ee us ^ for pries. 2. Large Lot on King's Mountain St. 171 feet front 310 feet deep; 6 good tenant houses, one 4-rooms; two 3rooms, and two 2-rooms; paying 9 per cent on 32,000. A good Investment 4. Five beautifully located Lots, near f' High School. See us quick for these. L They will not last long. ^ Two sold; thsy are going fast, as we ^ expected. 8ee them quick if you expect to buy. Th*y will not be any cheaper. 6. 44 Acres?1 mile Clover; 7-room house, barn, well, etc. $42JBO per Acre. 7. 96 Acres?3 miles Clover; plenty of timber; 10 acres fine sure crop bottom land; fine pasture; new, S-room house. 8. 3 Lots on Bethel road, for quick sale; 300 feet deep; nice location. 9. 5 Room House?80 ft. front; locat ed on one of the best residence streets / in Yorkville. A bargain. Now, or K'never, is your chance. See us for price. 10. 30J Acres?4 miles west of Yorkvllle; large orchard of young fruit trees beginning to bear; 6 acres bottom land; Joins Elmore Stephenson. $17.50 per Acre. Good terms on this. 11. 100 Acres?Lying 1$ miles noith of Battleground; 100.000 feet of saw d timber. If you need timber now is the time to buy. Lumber is going up; owner will cut in July if not sold. Timber worth price asked. See us for a price. 12. 6 Lots, nicely located, on New Brooklyn street. Good terms on these. 13. Six Lots, fronting on Faires St.; also 11-3 Acres fine pasture, immediately in rear of lots. Will sell as a whole or cut to suit your taste. Property of Ralph N. Adams. /*. 14. One 15 h.-p. Tolbort Tnglne, 60 saw Bagle Gin, one Pin Centennial Cotton Press, and one 36-inch Corn Mill, and Belt, in good condition. A " Bargain. $400.00. 15. One complete Brick Mill Outfit? Engine, Brick Mill, Trucks, Racks, Sugar Cloth and Fixtures for 10,000 per day capacity?At a Bargain, and A on good terms. 16. Two 100-acre tracts of land In Moore, county, N. C.; Joins J. E. Jackson. For quick sale, $9.00 per acre. Come to Clover and buy property and help a live town grow. CLOVER REAL ESTATE CO. J. L. Stacy, 8ec. and Manager. BRATTON FARM. Phone No. 132. Two fine bred Bull Calves for sale at reasonable figures?Right blood to ~ head a herd; also two full bred Guern- W seys and several Grade Cows. We want more customers for Cream and Milk. Stove Wood, split and sawed to length, delivered on short notice. J. MEEK BURNS, Manager. Typewriter Ribbons?At The Enquirer Office. All kinds. XV Send The Enquirer your order* for Commercial Printing.