Calaveras chronicle. [volume], October 18, 1851, Image 1

About Calaveras chronicle. [volume] (Mokelumne Hill [Calif.]) 1851-18??

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VOLUME 1.
Cnlnurrns Cljranirlr.
Published every Saturday 'morning, at
Mokelumne Hill,
B V HAMILTON, A \ liKS A CO
T r. R M •*.
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vance,) for one year sl2 00
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All kinds of Jon Work neatly ex
ec u ted.
llinv SWEE t WAS HOE !
When siefc upon my cradle bed,
Who laid ber warm baud on my head
With aeart o’ertlowing, wept and prayed ?
My Mother
When I was well an I full of play.
Who c&U'ht me in hi* arms each day.
And talked and sung those hours away :
My Father.
In after years, say, who was she
Who walked the livelong day with me,
Or read beneath the willow tree ?
My Sister.
Who took my hand, and by my side
Kan down the w inding, rippling ti le.
Not knowing how his hours did glide ?
My Brother.
TWI L 1 G II r.
There is on Lour of calm repose
Which gives a pause to life's stern woes ;
The hour of Nature’s sweetest mood.
When thought awakes with gratitude;
It is the twilight's holy hour,
When dews refresh the drooping flower.
There is tin hourt>f solitude,
When no unhallowed thoughts intrude;
When contemplation, pure, sublime,
Is lifted from the things of time;
It is the twilight's halcyon hoar.
The boon of an Almighty Power.
There is an hour of placid rest,
"Which frees from cai t die weary breast;
The spirit’s joyous hour of light.
Though gathering shades bespeak the night;
If is the twilight's soothing hour,
When dews refresh the drooping flower.
There is an hour, so calm and pure,
The sickness of the soul Twill cure;
The weary brow to peace restore.
The same I've felt in days of yore;
It is the twilight's welcome hour.
The gift of an Almighty Power.
Free akd East.—We recollect an
excellent story, says the Detroit Adver
tiser, admirably well told by Hon. J.
B , now a member of the legislature
of Michigan, as having occurred about
tile lime of the Baltimore Whig Con
vention in 1844, to which the narrator
was a delegate. It became the privilege
of many of the delegates and others, to
pay their respects to Hon. Henry Clay,
whose plain republican ease and urban
ity charmed all uho met him for the
first time. While our informant was
engaged in conversation with Mr. Clay,
the door opened, and a tine lo .king six
foot man entered, unannounced.
The strung* r was fashionable, but
somewhat astonishingly dressed in a
green sporting coat,-with buttons sorne
what smaller than “top of your hat”—
a bright scarlet plaid vest, divided into
squares of eight by ten, w ith Imlf cor
duroy continuations. This astonishing
“ effigy” was “hung in chains” of ev
ery style, and wore at his fob a seal
about the size of a steelyard poise. On
bis bed was a four foot “ Panama” un
der which the entire “ mission” of J.
Adams might have
while from one outlandish pocket mod
estly protruded a package bearing the
magic word “ Highlander, ’ balanced
upon the other side by a “ pistol” from
the armory of Falstatf. This surprising
person, alter reaching the centre of the
room, paused and took a leisurely sur
vey of those present, and singling out
Mr. Clay, (who could mistake him?)
walked up to him and pronounced the
single word Clay !
“ Yes, sir,” was the reply of the
statesman.
“ Henry Clay?”
“ The same, sir.”
“ 1 came from Alabama on purpose
to see yon ; hut don’t pul yourself out
mi my account ; you are a great man,
sir, and when I am at home I am some
punklns ; in fact, 1 often tell our hoys
that Clay and 1 are hound to shine, or
else what do we live for? your line and
mine are a little different, hut we are
both pretty near the head. In fact,
Hank, w hat’s the use of being a fellow ,
unless you can lie a h 1 of a fellow .
Henry, good morning.” and the Alaba
ma man took bis departure.
Co Inner ns Chronicle.
MOKELUMNE HILL, SATURDAY, OCTOBER IS. ISSI.
College Freaks.
[From a llcview in the Literary World
of Bartlett’* “College Words and Cus
tom*,”]
The three most mischievous imps in
creation are a monkey, a midshipman,
and u freshman. The latter enters col
lege, his memory stored with wondrous
tales of the bold feats of his predeces
sors, his ambition fired with the idea of
eclipsing them, and a firm conviction
that it is his bounden duty to make as
great noise, and annoy professors and
classmates as much as he can with any
degree of safety to himself. As he ad
vances in his college life he abandons
the stereotv pod tricks of the youngest
class for fun more refined in its nature,
and evincing more of wit in conception
and execution. Perhaps the acme of
cool impudence is attained about the
close of the sophomore year. We have
no tangrble authority for so saying, but
yet will guarantee that none but u so
phomore was the hero of the following
anecdote:
Chopping Logic and Cutting Ax
sweus.— Dr. , in propria persona,
called upon a Couihern student one
morning in the recitation room, to de
fine logic. The question was some
thing in ibis form:
“ Mr. , what is logic ?”
41 Logic, sir, is the act of reasoning. 1 ’
“ Au-; but 1 wish you to give the
definition in the exact words of the
learned author. ”
4 - Oh, sir, he gives a very long, intri
cate, confused definition, with which
1 did not think proper to burden my
memory.”
44 Aro you aware who the learned au
thor is ?”
44 Oh, yes ; your honor, sir.”
41 Well, then, I fine you one dollar
for disrespect.”
Taking out a two-dullar note, the
student said, with the utmost sang
froid :
44 If you will change this I will pay
v ou on the spot.”
44 I fine you another dollar, sir,” said
the professor, emphatically, 44 for re
peated disrespect^’
44 Then ’tis just the change, «ir,” laid
the student, coolly.
A very cool answer from » «opbo
more is indelibly recorded among the
memories of our college days
Professor had a peculiarly red
nose ; so red, indeed, that it was usu
ally deemed a sign that the interior of
the temple was dedicated to Bacchus.
Upon this point the professor was pecu
liarly sensitive.
One day, a chesnut, propvlled by
some invisible hand, hurtled across the
room, and came so violently in contact
with the learned gentleman’s bald pate,
that, glancing off, it spun almost up to
the ceiling.
44 Mr. F- thundered out the
professor, 44 that wiis you, sir ; don’t
deny it, sir; your blushes betray you,
sir.”
4 - Do you think that I blush, sir ?”
modestly asked the student.
44 Blush!” retorted the professor.
44 Your face is as red as a beet.”
44 Pardon me, sir,” replied F., 44 I
think it’s only the reflection of light ;
perhaps ycu looked at me over your
nose."
Among the most amusing pages are
those devoted to an account of the
44 Medical Faculty Society” of Har
vard, which commenced its funny ex
istence in 1818, and terminated it in
1834. Distinguished persons very fre
quently—much to their surprise—re
ceived advices of honorary member
ship. A triennial catalogue, in very
porcine Latin, was issued, in imitation
of the Triennial of the college, and in
it persons who had acquired some ridi
culous notoriety frequently found them
selves suddenly immortalized and
placed in very queer company. Among
those upon whom honorary degrees
were conferred, we find Christopne of
Hayti, William Cobbett, John C.
Symines, Alexander the first of Russia
who was so completely deceived by
the appearance of the sheepskin that
he forwarded a valuable present to the
society ; Andrew Jackson, Pop Em
mons,* Day &- Martin, Sam Patch,
Chang and Eng, Martin Van Buren,
tlie Sea Serpent, Captain Hall, Mrs.
Trollope, and the Hcv Isaac Fiddler:
rather a heterogenous collection. Com
plaints to the Faculty of Harvard,
from some of the parties so distin
guished, at last resulted in the breaking
up of the society.
The 44 commons ” have always been a
fruitful subject for complaint among
students. We-find recorded,
Tut Sad Effects of too much
Lamb. —The students, after eating this
kind of meat for five or six consecu
tive weeks, would often assemble be
fore the steward’s bouse, anil, as if
their nature had been changed by their
diet, would bleat and blatter until he
was fain to promise them a change of
ford; upon v hieh they v,culd separate
until a recurrence of the same evil
compelled them to the same measure.”
There wa» probably tn emeute, at
least, if not a revolution among the
students, when the following event oc
curred;
Prosablv Risk ik Provision.—‘Ex
hibition, 1791, April 20th. This mor
ning T copier was rusticated, and Sulli
van suspended to Groton for nine
months, for mingling tartar emetic with
our common# on the morning of April
12th.
“May 21. Ely wasauspended to Am
herst for five months; for assisting Sul
livan and T ropier it. mingling tartar
emetic with our commons.”
Freshmen in the earlier, as in our
ditya, we re'often dll their seniors,
for their abuse amt oppression. We
remember a case in point. A high
spirited young man, who had lately en
tered, in passing beneath the windows
of a sophomore, received the contents
of a pail of not over clean water. A
tutor was in sight at ihc time ; hut, re
gardless of that, the freshman seized a
brick which he threw with such preci
sion that it broke the sash, and did
some considerable mischief in the room.
The sophomore complained of the
other for breaking his windows. The
latter’s defence was, that he did not
throw a brick at the former’# windows,
but at the bead of a person who had
thrown filthy water upon him. He
was acquitted, and bis adversary dis
missed. In the follow ing instance, the
gentleman must have received
Too Mani Pipes run a Doli.ar. —
A freshman was once furnished w ith
a dollar, ami ordered by one of the up
per classes to procure for them pipes
and tobacco from the furthest store on
Long Wharf, a good mile distant. Be
ing at that lime compelled by college
laws to obey the unreasonable demand,
he proceeded according to order, and
returned with ninety-nine cents worth
of pipes, anil one penny-worth of to
bacco. It.i# needless to add that he
Was not again sunt on a similar er
rand.”
Facts for thr Curious. — Female
Rea lty. —The ladies of Arabia stain
tlifcir oncf im> vcii, their eye
brows black ami their lips blue. In
Persia, they paint a black streak around
the eyes, and ornament the face with
tarious figures. The Japanese women
gild their teeth, and those of the Indies
paint them red. The pearl of the teeth
must be dyed black to be beautiful in
Guzurut. The Hottentot women paint
the entire body in compartments of red
ami black. In Greenland the women
color their faces w ith bine and yellow,
and frequently tattoo their bodies by
saturating thread in soot, inserting it
beneath the skin and draw ing it through.
Hindoo females when they wish to ap
pear particularly lovely, smear them
selves w ith a mixture of saffron, tume
ric and grease. In nearly all islands of
the J’ucific ami Indian oceans, the wo
men, ns well as the men, tattoo a great
variety of figures on the face, the lips,
longue, and the whole body. In New
Holland they cut themselves w ith shells
and keeping the wounds open a long
time, form deep scars in the flesh, which
they deem highly ornamental. And
another singular addition is made to
their beauty by taking off, in infancy,
the little finger of the left hand, at the
second joint. In ancient Persia an aqui
line nose was deemed worthy the crow n
—but the Sumatran mother carefully
llattens the nose of her daughter.
Among some of the savage tribes of Or
egon, and also in Sumatra and Arracan,
continual pressure is applied to the
scull in order to flatten it, and thus give
it a new beauty. The modern Persians
have a strong aversion to red hair ; the
Turks, on the contrary, are warm ad
mirers of it. In China small round eyes
are liked, and the girls are continually
plucking their eyebrows that they may
be thin and long. But the great lieauty
of the Chinese lady is in her feet, which
in childhood, are so compressed by ban
dages as to prevent any farther increase
in size. The four smaller toes are turn
ed under the foot, to the sole of which
they firmly adhere, and the poor girl not
only endures much pain, becomes a crip
ple for life, Another mark of beauty
consists in finger'nails so long that cas
ings of bamboo are necessary to pre
serve them from injury. An African
beauty must have small eyes, thick lips,
u large flat nose, and a skin beautifully
black. In New Guinea the nose is per
forated, and a large piece of wood or
bone is inserted. In the northwest
coast of America, an incision more than
two inches in length is made in the low
er lip, and then filled with a wooden
plug. In Guiana, the lips are pierced
with thorns, the heads being inside the
mouth and the points resting on the
•bin. The Tunisian w oman of mode
rate pretensions to beauty, needs a slave
under each arm to support her when
she walks, and a perfect Lelle carries
fiesh enough to load down a camel.
A ‘ Verdant’ in a Cotton Mill. —
A raw, straw-hatted, sandy-wh»sker«d,
six-footer, one of the purely uninitiated,
came in recently from Greene with a
load of wood for a factory company.
Not satisfied with contemplating the
‘ poetry of motion’ at a safe distance,
our hero must needs introduce himself
lietween the cards, to get a nearer view.
This move brought his 1 nether hahili.
menls’ into dangerous proximity to the
gearing of the next card, and ‘ thereby
hangs a tale.’
* You, I say! She goes pooty, don’t
she, Bos ?’ said Jonathan, inquiringly.
1 She don’t do anything else,’ respond
ed the stripper. ‘ But you must be ve
ry careful how you move around among
this hardware. ’Twai only last week,
sir, that a promising young man from
Oxfotd—a student at the academy here,
was drawn into that very card, sir, and
before any assistance could reach him,
he was run through, and manufactured
into No. IG, super extra cotton warp
yarn.’
‘ 1 g -|-vow! I believe yuer joking!’
stuttered Jonathan.
‘Fact, sir,’ continued the stripper;
and his disconsolate mother came down
two days ago, and got, five bunches of
that same yarn, as melancholy lelics.’
‘ By the poker, that can’t be true!’
•Fuel, sir, fact! and each of his fel
low students purchased a skein a piece,
to be set in lockets, and wore in remem
brance of departed worth!’
‘ls that a fact now r Was he really
carded, spun and set in lockets ?’
A sense of personal danger here shot
across our hero’s mind ; he began to
retreat precipitately without waiting
for an answer. But there was not much
room to spare betwixt himself and the
gearing of the card behind. Another
step backwards completed the ceremo
ny of introduction. His unwhispera
bles being of large ‘ calibre,’ the process
of snarling them up into a hard knot
was no ways slow. Our hero ‘ gave
tongue’ instnnter.
‘ 0-h ! Mur-d-e-r! Let go—you
h-u-r-t ! Blast your picter! Let go!
Aim ye ashamed ? Get out! Let alone
on me—can’t ye!—do!’
The card stripper threw off the belt,
but the momentum of the cylinder kept
it revolving, and our hero, supposing it
in full operation, burst out anew.
‘ Oh, stop her, do—l aim well, and
I orter be at home. Father wants
the steers, and mother’s going to bake!
Stop the tarnal masheen, can’t ye—do!
Aint you got no feelin’ for a feller in
distress! Oh, dear—l’ll he carded and
spun, and made in lockets! Je-ru Sa
lem! How 1 wish I was to Greene!’
The card was stopped at l ist, but
Jonathan’s clothes were so tangled in
the gearing, that it was no slight task
to extricate him, and it was only by
cutting out the v. hole of the ‘ invested
territory,’ that he was finally released.
Our hero not caring to resume his
‘ pursuit of knowledge under difficul
ties,’ a pair of overhauls were charita
bly loaned him, and he scattered sud
denly towards Mill Hill, giving a series
of short kicks with either leg, on his
way, us if to assure himself that he had
brought away his full complement of
limbs from the ‘ cussed machine.’
A Cool Oteration.— ‘ Hello, there,
capting!’ said a Brother Jonathan to
the captain of a canal packet on the
Erie canal, ‘ what do you charge for a
passage :’
‘Three cents a mile and bbarded,’ said
the captain.
‘Well, guess I’ll take a passage, rap
ting, seein’ as how I’m kinder gin eout
walking so far.’
Accordingly he got on board just as
the steward was ringing the bell for
dinner. Jonathan aat down and l»egnn
to demolish the ‘ fixins’ to the utter con
sternation of the captain, until he had
cleared the table of all that was eatable,
when tie got up and went on the deck,
picking his teeth very comfortably.
‘ How far is it, capting, from here to
where 1 came on board r’
‘ Nearly one and a-half mile,’ said the
captain.
‘ Let’s sec,’ s#id Jonathan ; ‘ that
would be just four and a-half cents; but
never mind, capting, 1 won’t be small ;
here’s five cents, which pays my fare to
here ; 1 guess I’ll go ashore now ; I’m
kinder rested eout.’
'1 he captain vamosed for the cabin,
and Jonathan went ashore. The cap
tain did not take any more ‘ way pas
sengers’ the remainder of the summer.
The “Great Fair.” —The London
Daily News says, that among the ladies
who visited the great exhibition a few
days ago, was one who was so stout
that none of the many entrances in the
transept were wide enough to admit
her, and she consequently had to enter
through the door allotted to pianos and
other heavy goods at (he West end of
the burHing. t
NUMBER 1.
OrtKiJt'o or St*mdns. —An exchange
relate* the following : “ Dr. Me., of
Ntw Jersey, who has recently sailed
for Europe, was once invited to preach
in the Old Middle Dutch Church, now
the post office, in New' Vork. Know
ing that his audience did not allow
their ministers to use notes, he went
on smoothly through the
of his sermon, said: “Now, brethren,
I have laid before you my discourse,
and I beg you will permit me to lay it
before myself.” So saying, he took
bis manuscript and placed them in
front on the desk.
“Old Dominie L g, of the Dutch
Church, celebrated for his goodness
and homely originality, on an excess '
ively hot summer Sabbath, \vlien an
nouncing his text, read ofl four verses,
and said: “ 'l*his the foundation of the
first head of my discourse.” After
reading four more, he said: “ This is
the ground of the second head of my
discourse; and reading another four,
he continued: “ This is the foundation
of the third head of my discourse.”
Then stepping back and pulling off his
warm cloth coat, he hung it on the side
of the pulpit, and conspicuous in his
white linen sleeves, he began . “ Now,
brethren, depend upon it, we have a
job before us.”
Private Character or a Locomo
tive. — People who may see a locomo
tive tearing up and down the land at a
gait of forty miles un hour—making the
very earth groan beneath its giant tread
and the heavens themselves reverberate
with its fearful clatter, scaring nature
with its unearthly din, and frightening
all creation from its propriety, almost
—people who only see it in its terrible
activity, have no idea what eminent so
cial virtues it is endowed with. This
is their public character. Their private
one is another affair. Now and then
one of these huge monsters, in whose
iron bowels slumber more than a thous
and giant power, comes up and stands
under our window, and smokes away
as gently as the must exemplary cook
ing strive, its huge strain pipes .-.mging
a strain as soft and as dulcet us the
most amiable tea-kettle, and its lungs
of steel breathing as sweetly, us un in
fant in its slumbers. But tlic demon
of power is there. Let any one pinch
its ears, and no venerable spinster cat
will spit more fiercely—let him gripe
those iron bands, and the pipes which
were tuned to so soft a strain, send forth
a yell as if heaven and earth were
coming together, and those lungs which
first breathed so quietly, cough like a
volcano—and off it goes, darkening the
heavens with its dense volume of smoke.
Mibhtt Cute.—Two cotton w agon*
meeting on the road to Augusta, Geor
gia, the follow ing dialogue took, place
between the drivers :
‘ What’s cotton in Augusta?” savs
O fr
the one with a load.
‘ Colton,' says the other.
The inquirer, supposing himself not
to be understood, repeats, ‘ what’s cot
ton in Augusta?’
4 It’s cotton,' says the other.
‘ I know that,’ says the first, 4 hut
what is it?’
1 Why,’ says the other, ‘ I tell you it
is cotton. Colton t $ cotton in Augusta
and everywhere else, that ever 1 heard
of.’
4 I know - that as well as you,’ says the
first, 4 hut what does cotton bring in
A ugnsla ?’
4 Why, it brings nothing there, but
every body brhnc* cotton.'
1 Look here,’ says the first wagoner,
with an oath, 4 you had better leave the
state; for I’ll be d d if you don’t
know too much for Georgia.'
* ♦
New Island in the Mediterranean,
—The remarkable phenomenon of is
lands rising in the sea, through the ef
fect of volcanic eruptions, seems to have
been repeated of late years. We learn
from our European journals that an
island in the Mediterranean, which ap
fieared some time since,and then sank,
ias given symptoms of reappearance.
An island of considerable size emerged
from the sea in 1831, between Sicily
and Pantellaria, duriig an extraordi
nary volcanic eruption. It was visited
and explored, and even three natioi g
contended for its possession. Englai d
and France both planted their banner
•n it, while it lay in the maritime pow
er of Naples; but after a short time it
again vanished in the sea. Arcordii g
to the Recounts, it has again shown t
self within a few months ; and thou h
still ten feet under water, the capt.i n
of the English ship Scourge has tak n
|K)ssession of it the second time for the
British crown, by raising the British
f! ig e« flu 'tutting -’urtV.t;-.