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Des Arc weekly citizen. [volume] (Des Arc, Ark.) 1867-187?, June 29, 1867, Image 1

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POE & MATHEWS, Proprietors. : [established September, isst,] $2 50 PER ANNUM—In Advance.
VOLUME 3._3>gS AEG, ARKANSAS, J [ TXE 39, 1867^ ~~ JSTUM IM^H
ges ^rt Qutijcn.
Our Job Printing Department.
We have supplied ourselves with ft good
assortment of Printing Material and are
ready to execute all kinds of Job Printing,
on reasonable torins.
Wo are prepared to print Pamphlets, Cata
logues, Posters, large or small, C'Wds, Ball
Tiekots, Bill Ite ids. Blanks of every descrip
(ion, for Clerks. Sheriffs, Justices of the
Peace. Cons* tble*. tc.
rati:* or adu:ktim\<..
Oue iquarl (10 linos of this sife typo for
one insertion, Jfl ; each additional insertion,
I 75 cents.
| 1 m. f 2 01. I,# 01. I 0 ni. |1 year.
1 Square, $8 00 $ii 00 $9 00*1200 $20 00
2 Squares, C 0(1 9 00 11 00, 14 00 25 0O
8 Squares, 9 00 11 00 18 (HI1 17 00 30 00
1 Column, 11 00 13 00 14 oo 20 00 jo 00
j Column. 15 00 19 OolSJ (10 85 00 00 (X'
j Column, 20 00 2 1 00,28 00 15 U< 75 (H>
I Column, 25 00 28 00|88 00 55 Oo 90 00
Advertisers by the year will be restricted
to fhoir legitimate business.
Personal communications charged double.
I.cgnl advertisements will he charged, for
one square or Tess, f!r«t insertion $1, nod 75
cents per square for each additional insertion.
Advertisements not ordered fhr a specified
time, will be inserted till forbidden, un*l
charged for accordingly.
All advnrfisinir it>■ , .rtn. ubaa.,1 :.it...
X. C. fttK.TT. L. M. RAM.AVR
Will pr»clioe indh. oounlina of Woodruff
Jackson, White and Craighead. Special at
toalinn given to collections of all claims eu
trastod to their care aprff-ly
J C JOSSON, Office—West Point, Arkansas.
JNO. M. MOORE, Office—Searcy, Arkansas.
Attorneys at Law,
General Land and Collecting Agents,
Will give prompt attention to any business
iu t-ha eouutie of I ml pemlence, Jackson.
Woodruff, Monroe, Prairie, White, Conway
and Van Buren. niarll
HAVING concluded to remain in Des Arc,
tenders his services to the citiaens gen
erally. Over thirty years experience, added
to A thorough qualification for his profession,
assures him that he can give general satis
faction. Ministers of the Gospel, and all
who have been disabled iu the service of their
country, treated gratis.
l)cs Arc, Ark., February 2, I860—6m
Cotton Plant, Arkansas.
Wild practice in the Circuit Court* of
Woodruff county, and the Circuit Courts of
the seventh Judicial District, and give prompt
attention to all business entrusted to his
rare. jan!2
Geo. W. Maberry,
—AX I)—
cotton pr,ant,
WILL attend tbe Circuit and Probate
Courts for the. counties of Monroe. St.
Francis and Woodruff. mat 24
lies Arc, -Uk. / V U.....„r,.vi11o krb ,
Des ‘Are anil Brownsville,
deel-tf _
GANTT & BRON VPOtl, HrownsTiUe, Ark.
II. T*. VAUGHAN, Dos Arc, Arkansas.
tiantt, Bronaugli & Vaughan,
Will practice in il«e counties of Prairie,
White, WoodifitT. Monroe, Arkansas and Pu
laski. Prompt atttention given to ibe collec
tion of claims. Taxes will he paid and titles
investigated for non-residents. aprl4-3m
ITTII.L practice in all of the courts of
\Y Prairie county, and the circuit courts
of the surrounding counties. iuar2M‘>m
A**®*??** A5T
WILL practice iu ibe counti' ■> of Pulaski,
Prairie, MoBToe, Woodruff. Jackson and
White Prompt attoutioii gi\eu to the collec
tion sf claims. apr!4-ly
WN. K. COOl>Y. !>• MO BA*.
Will practice in all the courts of Arkansas.
JUtsrtsys at Law,
VjTILL practice in nil the Courts. prOaoclPe
f Claims of all kinds, collect debts, trad
act ns Real Relate and General Agent*.
Office—Markham Street, near State House.
W. HfOKS, Formerly of the firm of Cypert &
II, R. FIELDING, Formerly of Atbons, Ala.
White lo„ Arkamai.
WILL practice in this and the adjacent
counties, in the ltistrict Courts, and Su
preme Court of the Stale.
--We have In connection with aur Law
AGENCV. Claims entrusted to us will hr
promptly attended to, and if not. innuesUatcly
collected will bo at once secured if possible.
Claim against the Govefifmerit for property
taken by the U. K forces (whether receipted
fur or uut)~-BorvTtr.s PrasinNS, Auraaes ol
Pay Ac. promptly SttOiled to.
Dii. .1 i. iioi'sii;i, iris office, is
now at Johnson & Davis’Drug Store;
I can he be consulted at his room at the Harvey
House. He will give his undivided attention
j to (hroatc Dlfteane* of every descrip
The best of references can be furnished, by
applying to
junl-tf Des Arc. Arkansas.
Dps. Barney & Trezevanl,
HAVING associated themselves in the
i offer their professional services to the clti
* aens of
And will devote a portion of their time, to
i the treatment of Chronic Diseases, of every
1 description. Office—At Burney k Bro s
I Drug Store. npr2
fstbxoxa.it, srF.oaoxr,
OFFERS his professional services lo the
citizens of Des Arc and surrounding
country. Orrics—At Johnson fc Davis’ Drug
Store. mayll-tf
.A. t Law,
#ay* Parteulnr nttention given to the
collection of all kinds of claims against
the Government.
Office—On Buena Vista street next
door to J. M. Burney's drug store.
Will practice in the State and Federal
Courts of Arkansas. mnyll- ,
Au(/mtat Ark. Jacksonpurt, Ark. I
Palterson, tin use & Bro..
Jackson port and Augusta, Arkansas.
Wir.r. practice in the Counties of Woodruff,
Jackson, Independence, White, Lawrence, ,
Randolph, Green. Craighead and Cross, and
it fend to jowN*h»1 /•««»« Dt «nv Dart of the'
State. Address either office. myl8-Ty
Jncksonporty Ark. Au/juula, Ark.
* Anderson «fc Thompson,
Jack sod port and Augusta, Ark.
Win. attend the Conrts of Jackson, Wood- j
ruff, and adjoining Counties, and to special
cases in any section of the State. Address
either office. UiaylS-ly ■
l. S. UtUUnSTH, s. N, JACKSON.
Dcs Arc, Arkiuians. i
Win. enter Lands under the provisions of
tin- Act of Congress, May 21, 1802, entitled
“An act to secure Homesteads to uctual set
tlers on the public domain.*’ op27- !
Leaves Memphis Every Saturday. ,
Regular Meiuphls and HUlle
Hirer Packet,
1> E f*4 ARC,
.1X0. I). ELLIOT,. Master.
«>. I„EK r IN NET, .I lorK.
Des Arc has been
JbaL—. horoughly repaired and re
fitted. xprcssly tor the above trade, and will j
leave Memphis every Saturday and Dee Arc
every Wednesday. sep22- j
mill! steamer Deu ArC
1 will receipt for trcigh'^Su^anEEnaii
and ticket passengers through from Mem
phis to Little Rock, until further notice, at
the following rates. vix:
Pound Freight at sj^ty cents por hundred
Passengers at seventeen dollars.
Two trains per week Will be run from l>e
vall’s lllutf to Little. Hook, (on Mondays and
Wednesdays) to oounect with the steamer
Ucn Arc.
Passengers and shippers can rely on this
JNO. P. ELLIOTT, Captain
Steamboat Des Arc. i
Walt k Co., Agents, Pes Aro.
Leaves Memphis Every Tuesday,
Regular Memphis and While
Rlier Packet,
JOHN. B. DAVIS, - - Captain.
Geo. 0. Busn, - - Clerk.
^"1 THIS btcamer having
J^ JHsl^Lhaan thoroughly repaired and
refurnished, will run regularly throughout
the season. Leaves Memphis every Tuesuay ,
and Pes Arc every Saturday morning, marb
\( >Th i :.
1 ceipt for Freight and ticket Passengers i
through from Memphis to Little Rock, uutil
further notice, utthe following rates, vix;
Pound Freight, at Sixty Cents per hundred
Passengers, at Seventeen Dollars.
Will he run from DevaiEs Bluff to Little Rock
I (on Wednesdays and Saturdays) to connect
with the Steamer Commercial.
Passengers and Shippers can rely upon this
Captain Steamboat Coinuierebl!
J. Sims Ati.ver, Agent.
Pea Arc, Ark., may 4, ISdT-tf*
llluuks of rim drMilpllon.
for wit tv at IhlN OlWcf.
j For the Dee Are Citizen]
A southern soldier young and brave.
Now fills this lone and wayside grave ;
No raavble stone to mark the place
Or, of his name to give a trace,
To tell the traveler passing by
A soldier in this grave doth lie
. We only know that here he fell
By hands of cowards ! shame to tell
A pris’ner under charge of men,
Who iu their boast, now dare preten’
To have waged war for right alone,
But which their deeds have never shown.
Perhaps he has a mother dear.
Whose eye is dimmed with many a tear,
Aud vainly looked for many a day
For her sou’s return that’s far away ;
She asks of many—none can tell
IIow, when, or where he fell.
“Sleep ! Oh ! sleep, thy warfare o’er,”
Hardships nor strife disturbs no more ;
Mother and friends ne’er may know
That o’er thy grave wild flowers grow,
BtU strangers here will linger near,
And on fhy dust will drop a tear.
Acstin, Arkansas, June, 1867.
Not Good Enough For Her.
The ancestors of the good people of
the United States went to tlinl country
ostensibly to escape persecutions of
aristocratic England, but alas 1 for the
inconsistency of human nature, they
were very far from abandoning aristoc
racy when they left the mother coun
try. They took it with them, together
with all its accompanying notions and
absurdities, and have left it to their
children as an inalienable legacy, which
they seem to be trying to increase
every day.
In the days of the good colony of
\ irginla, the distinctions between rich
and poor were based upon laws which.
like those of the Modes and Persians,
altered not. One of the most devote
followers of this code was a wealthy
planter, living in what is known as the
Northern Neck, lie was in all other
respects a frank, open hearted, manly
gentleman ; but bis estimate of his fol
luwmeu was founded on the principles
that governed the selection of his hor
ses—blood. Wealth, too, by no mean
was an unimportant feature with him.
He lind our human weakness, and. like
ill of us, was influenced more than ho
even believed by pounds, gamings and
This Mr. G. had quite a large family,
among them a daughter whose beauty
was the standing toast of tlie country.
She was just eighteen and budding |
into lovely womanhood. Not only
was she beautiful in person, but her!
amiable disposition and many accom
plishments made Iter more than ordi
narily attrngiiu^ and half the gentle-1
men of Northern Neck were already
sighing for her love.
There was in the country at this'
lime a young man who was already
rising in the esteem of his neighbors.1
lie came of a good family but was, as I
yet, a poor young surveyor, who had
taught himself his profession, and who
had spent much of his lime in travers
ing unknown forests, with nothin / for
his guide but his compass, and his chain
for a companion, locating lands and
settling disputed titles. He was a
model of manly beauty, mid excelled
lu all the various feats of strength in
which the olden time Americans took
such pride. Ho was calm and reserved,
and there was about him a dignified
sweetness of demeanor that accorded
well with his frank independence of
character, lie was a great favorite
with all who knew him. and there was
nv IV II HIGH ill: Mil*' IIUI
Mr. 0. seemed especially to like the
young man, and it was not long lie fore
lie iusisted that the latter should aban
don ail ceremony in ids visits to him.
and come and go when lie pleased.
The Invitation was heartily given, and
as heartily accepted. The young man
liked the planter, and lie found the so
ciety of the beautiful Mary G. a very
strong attraction. The result was that
lie was frequently at the planter’s resi
dence ; so frequently indeed, that Mrs.
G. felt called upon to ask her husband
if lie did not think it wrong to permit
him to enjoy sueli unreserved inter
course with their daughter. The fath
er only laughed at the idea, and said he
hoped his daughter knew her position
too well to allow anything like love for
a poor surveyor to blind her to her
duty to her family.
Nevertheless, Mary G. was not so
impressed with this conviction of duty
ns wus her father. She found more to
admire jn the poor surveyor than in all
her wealthy aristocratic suitors; and,
almost be to re site knew it, her heart
passed out of her keeping, and was
given to him. She loved him with all
(he honesty and devotion of her pure
heart; and she would have thought it
a happiness to go out into the back
woods and share his fatigues and trou
bles, no matter how much sorrow they
might bring to her.
Nor did she love in vain. The young
man, whose knowledge of the world
was afterwards so great, hud not then
learned to consider as binding the dis
tinetious which society drew between
his position and that of the lady, lie
knew that in all that makes a man, in
integrity and honesty of purpose, he
was the rqnalof any one. He believed
that, except in wealth, he stood upon a
perfect cqttnlily with Mary <■ and he
loverl honestly and manfully, and no
sooner htul lie satisfied himself upon
the state of his own feelings than he
confessed his devotion, simply and
truthfully and received from the Indy's
lips tlie assurance that she loved hint
very dearly.
Scorning to occupy a doubtful posi
tion, or to cause the lady to conceal
aught from her parents, the young man
frankly and honestly asked Mr. (i. for
his daughter's hand. Very angry grew
the planter as he listened to the auda
cious proposal. He stormed and swore
1'urlouslv and denounced the young
man as an ungrateful and insolent up
“My daughter has always been ac
customed to ride in her carriage,” lie
said. “Who are you. sir?”
“A gentleman, sir,” replied the young
man, quietly, and lie left the house.
The lovers were parted. The lady
soon afterwards married a wealthy
planter, and the young man went out
again into the world to battle with his
heart and conquer his unhappy passion.
He subdued it, but, although he after
wards married a woman whom he
loved honestly and faithfully, and nev
er wholly dead to his first love.
The time passed on, and the voting ,
man began to reap the reward of his
labors. Ho had never been to the
house of Mr. O. since his cruel repulse
by the planter : hut the latter could not
forget him, as his name soon became
familiar in every Virginian household.
Higher and higher ho rose every year,
until he had gained a position from
which lie could look down upon the
proud planter. Wealth came to him, 1
too. When the great struggle for in- j
dependence dawned, lie was in Ids |
prime, a happy husband, and one of,
the most distinguished men in Ameri
ca. The struggle went on. and soon
the “poor surveyor ' held the highest
and yroudcat position in the land.
When the American army passed in
triumph through the streets of Wil
liamsburg, the ancient capital of Vir
ginia, after the surrender of Cornwallis,
the officer riding sri the head of the col
umn chanced to glance up at one of the
neighboring balconies, which was
crowded with ladies. Iteeoguizing one
of them, he raised his hat and bowed
profoundly. There was commotion in
the balcony, and some one called for
water, saying Airs. I.ee had fainted.
.!„*, < . - , » »
him. I lie officer said gravely :
“Henry, I fear your mother has faint
ed. You had better leave the column
and go to her."
The speaker was George Washington,
once the “poor surveyor,” but then
eomuiander-iu-chief of tlie armies of
the United States. The young man
wa> Col. Henry I.ee. the commander of
the famC”s “J’ght Cavalry region;”
the lady was his mother, at. ! formerly
.Miss the belle 01 (be “Norther:
-... -
Adulterations of Food.
The times and principles of men arc
so out of joint, that when we sit down
to a table and suppose we are eating a
particular dish, the chances are ten to
one that wo are not eating that at all.
but are eating something else, unless
we are partaking of some native pro
duct, of which we know everything—
such as our own vegetables, fruits, and
fresh meats. Kggs have not yet been
counterfeited ; but as to milk, where is
any in our large cities that is not a
mixture? A hundred mixtures make
our ground coffee, and our tea is made
over after it has hern used at the tables
of hotels. There is a substance called
terra alba, or white earth, brought
from Ireland for two and a half cents a
pound, winch enters largely into many
of our confections; ami when sugar
costs from 1C to 20 cents a pound, the
temptation to adulterate is scarcely to
be resisted by unprincipled shopkeep
ers. The body of candies, lozenges
and almonds, are made of this in many
eases, as it is whiter than plaster, and
is largely used in the adu Herat ion of
flour. In one ounce of lozenges, two
thirds of the weight, when dissolved
in water, was nothing hut this white
earth, and tlie lozenge did not contain
an atom of sugar of any hind, (iuin
Arabic is too costly for pure gum
drops to be made to advantage, so a
substitute is made which, although it
is beautiful to look at, is very poison
ous. Liquorice drops are made for the
trade of the poorest kind of sugar and
lamp-black, ami merely flavored with
liquorice. Twenty parts of liquorice
and eighty per cent, of white earth is
dextrously mixed and sent to the
South and West as pure liquorice. Tra
ders do not hesitate to use the most
virulent poisons to make pickles ap
pear fresh and green ; while it is a no
torious fact that skilled persons can by
u combination of drugs make almost
any liquor known, and which will so
nearly resemble the taste of the true
article that experts are deceived. To
! escape the imposition it is not suffi
cient that u man have the utmost cou
lidencc in his grocer, for lie too may
be profoundly deceived. Let every
I family have the courage to niuke Its
| own bread, to prepare its vinegar, to
i brew its own beer, and express its
own wines, if they must be bad; to
I buy its owu eofl'ee 114 its green state;
to put nwaydts own sweetmeats; uml
I as to every compound article of food
which comes to the fable, let it do its
own mixing.— [ Watchman aiid Uc
‘ Hector.
• *■ - i
A Crisis in tho Republic.
Montesquieu tells us that “in the
birth of societies it is the chiefs of the
republic who form the institution, and
in (lie sequel it is the institution which
forms the chiefs of tiie republic.” To
a certain extent this is doubtless true.
Thus while in one sense we mnv regard
such patriots and statesmen as Webster,
( alhoun, and Clay as the legitimate
creation of the beneficent government
and liberal institutions established by
the founders of our republic, we can
not. by tiie most violent stretch of tiie
imagination, trace the origin of dema
gogues and fanatics, such as Sumner,
\\ ade, and Stevens to so noble a source.
And yet there is no denying the fact
that the latter, sectional and essentially
unrepublican in their views as they un
questionably arc, measured by the old
constitutional standard, arc tho domi
nant power in tiie existing government,
the chiefs de eacto ot the so-called re
public of the United States.
On tiie assumption that the apothegm
of Montesquieu is axiomating this con
dilion of things is decidedly anomalous;
and it would seem that the only satis
factory solution of the difficulty is to
be found in the theory that, the repub
lic of our fathers having already ceased
to exist by reason of tho destructive
effects of abolition fanaticism, a new
government essentially sectional and
despotic in its character is in process
of formation. And certainly the open
contempt and entire disregard of the j
constitutional provisions and traditions
of government forming flic ba-is of
our system, manifested in all the acts
of those who have had control of pub
lic affairs for (lie last six years, taken i
in conjunction with (lie no less omin
ous and significant attempt to change
tho form of government by gradual do
mid past action, tends, to say the least,
to give plausibility to the theory.
It were well for the American peo
ple to examine carefully, before it is
forever too late, the system for which
the present “chiefs of the republic” are
bartering oil the free government in
herited from our futhers. We think
there are few who in their hearts will
fail to agree with us that a system of
which unprincipled political charlatans
like those constitutiug the congression
al majority are the legitimate repre
sentatives, does not promise to com
birlh to patriotic officials to whom the
welfare of the nation was the first aud
highest consideration, aud produced
an array of statesmen whose brilliant
oratory was unsurpassed in the history
of the world, if the people would not
have our form of government changed,
is the administration under it has al
ready been changed to conform to the
anti-republican views of intolerant,
selfish and unprincipled leaders, they
'"list speedily take action in the prem
ises by dispos “ssing such false and
Iroacheioils leArier*. nisi substituting j
in their stead honest and faithful men. j
who will restore affairs to the condition
n which they were placed by the “chiefs i
of the republic” who formed our insti-j
unions. Nut until this is done will
there be any security for constitutional
liberty.—[Louisville Courier.
How the Devil Lost.
A young man. who had a strong de
sire to be wealthy, was visited by llis
Satanic Majesty, who tempted him to
dispose of his soul for eternity, if lie
could he supplied on earth w ith all the
money he could use. The bargain was
concluded, the Devil was to supply the '
money, and was at last to have the
soul, unless the voting Ilian could
spend more money than the Devil could
lurntsh. l ears passed away; the man
married, was extravagant in his living,
built palaces, speculated wildly, lost |
and gave away fortunes, and yet his
coffers were always full, lie turned
politician, and bribed his way to honor
and fame, and yet his pile of gold was
not reduced. He became a filibuster, I
and lilted out ships and armies, but his
banker honored all bis drafts. He
went to Massachusetts to live, uud
paid the usual rate of interest for all
the money he could borrow ; but, al
though the Devil made faces when he
went to pay the bills, yet they were all
paid. One expedient alter another
failed. The Devil counted the time
only two years that he must wait for
the soul, and he mucked the efforts of
the despairing man. One more trial
was resolved upon. The man started
u newspaper. The Devil began to
grumble. The bill, at the expiration
of six months, made him savage, he
grew melancholy at nine, and broke as
flat as a flounder Ht the end of the
year! So the newspaper failed, but
the soul didn't
- ----r-r
Information Wanted.—Information
wanted of .1. W. ltonton. who lias not
been heard from by his widowed moth
er for six years. When last heard
from, lie was a member of Mci'ear's
Regiment. Arkansas troops, stationed
in Washington Coutsfy. this Stute. lie
is about 33 years of age. His younger
brother, Columbus Alexander Benton,
about 20 years of age, left tlreeu Coun
ty, Ark., for the Indian Territory, in
November last, nnd 1ms not since been
heard from. Any information that
may lead to the discovery of the where
about* of these two men will bo thank
fully received by their distressed moth
er, Mr-. K. K Kent on. Bate*vlllc, At*
The Folly of Cruelty.
A few' years ago the English Review's
and Hlue Hooks were filled with ac
counts of the model prisons of England.
The best and most Immune intellects
were directed to making convicts com
fortable and many of us recollect the
famous cartoon in Punch of the Gov
ernor of Newgate waiting obsequious
ly upon a murderer, and with the
smirks nud bows of a well-bred butler
expressing the hope that the turbot
and venison were cooked to his satis
faction and that hist wines were well
iced. And wheu Mr. Carlyle visited,
ten years ago, one of these model ho
tels for tlie criminal classes, he is said
to have cried out in his anger that no
Duke in England was lodged, tended,
fed and taken care with such perfec
tions as the felons therein confined.
The accounts which reach us of the
merciless brutality with which the
Fenian prisoners were treated, show s
that the benevolent fever lias worn it
self out, and Mr. Carlyle w'ould be
much better satisfied with the present
order of things. The comforts of
prison life in England are now confined
to murders, for the state of political
prisoners lie hard and work hard and
the crank and the tread-mill again
W'ork as merrily as when poor Otway
described Satan as visiting Newgate,
aiul declaring that he should remodel
bis own establishment in exact imita
tion of that prison.
If the account before us is true, the
unhappy Irishmen who have fallen into
the clutches of the English authorities
arc having a hard time of it. The
food given to the poor Fenians is filthy
and disgusting and always insufficient;
men suffering from painful diseases are
compelled to work at the hardest la
bor ; and a favorite punishment con
sists in depriving a man of his flannels
in nun winter; iiiiu omecrs imituny
maltreat a wretched convict who, be
ing almost blind, cannot perform (he
work of others; and that tlie most
trivial offenses. Indeed, the famous
Leads of Venice must have been a
Paradise compared with Portland, the
place where the Fenian convicts are
kept at hard labor and the fate of Sil
vio Pellico a happier one than that of
the Fenian convict of 1S(>7. This sort
of treatment never yet extinguished
tlie tires of rebellion. Does any one
imagine that tlie cruelty practiced up
do at present? The Leads of Venice
did not extinguish tlie Carbonari, nor
have tlie knout and Siberia killed tlie
spirit of Poland.
Great severity never yet deterred
Irishmen from that resistance to op
pression which tyrants call “rebellion."
Nothing lias so much tended to pro
mote disaffection in Ireland ns the fact
that each generation canonizes Die
memory of a patriot martyred by tlie
Kuglish courts.
Flogging, shooting, hanging, banish
ment and imprisonment, during the
;nj six Centuries, have produced only
periodical ilufvests ot rebellion. And
thus it will always be in all countries
and among all nations.
Patent Love Letters.
Dear Miss:—After long considera
tion and much meditation upon the
great reputation you possess in tlie na
tion, 1 have a strange inclination to
become your relation. If tliisoblatiou
is worthy of observation, it will be an
aggrnndization beyond ill! calculation
of the joy and exultation of
Peter II. Portation.
P. S.—1 solicit the acceptation of the
love and approbation, and propose the
annexation of the lives and destination
of Peter II. Portation and Marie Mod
Dear Peter.—1 have perused vour
urnuou wun great actiocrauon. unit a
litttle cousi Juration at (lie great infat
uation of your weak imagination to
show such veneration on so slight a
foundation. After mature delibera
tion and serious contemplation, l fear
your proclamation is tilled with adu
lation, or saying from ostentation to
display your education by au odd enu
meration or rather multiplication of
words oflike termination, though dif
ferent in signification. But as 1 ad
mire association, and am in favor of
annexation, 1 acknowledge my appro
bation, aud indeed my inclination, to
accept with gratification the love ami
adoration set forth in yonr declaration
and will, with preparation, love, and
animation, remuiu with resignation,
and rejoice iu the appellation of
Mks. ftm li. Portation.
P. S.—i suggest the information that
we meet in consultation, and make
some preparation for the final consum
mation of the intended auucxatiou,
when 1 bear the same relation to your
home and occupation that Mrs. Peter
11. Portation would then bear to my
Makik Moukkation.
te£r I'he following is the “nub” of a
yarn which is told about a big whisky -
guzzling fellow who come home drunk
one night and sat down by the lire to
warm Ids feet, which were regular
“worm killers,” says the legend : After
dozing some time he awoke chilly ; the
embers were entirely hid from view,
aud seeing ids feet, mistook them for
his little boy when with a majestic side
wave of the hand, he said, “Stand aside,
ruy little son, and let your poor father
« arm himself.''
Cut This Out.
The Mercantile Times gives tlie fol
lowing seasonable rules for young men
commencing business:
The world estimates men by their
success in life—-and, by general consent,
success is evidence of superiority.
Never, under any circumstances, as
sume a responsibility you can avoid
consistently with your duty to your
self and others.
Base all your actions upon a principle
of right; preserve your integrity of
character, and in doing this, never
reckon the cost.
Remember that self-interest is more
j likely to warp your judgment than all ;
i other circumstances combined; there-:
j tore look well to your duty, when your
I interest is concerned.
Never make money at the expeuse of
j your reputation.
Be neither lavisli nor niggardly; of
the two, avoid the latter. A mean man
, is universally despised, but public fa-1
vor is a stepping stone to preferment— !
j therefore generous feelings should be
ouId voted.
Suy but little—think much—and do
Let your expenses be such as to leave
. a balance in your pocket. Ready mon
ey is a friend in need.
Keep clear of the law; for, even if)
you gain your case you are generally a j
loser of money.
Avoid borrowing and lending.
Wine drinking and cigar smoking |
are bad habits. They impair the mind J
and pocket, and lead to a waste ofj
Talking Bells.—We have heard of1
bells that seemed to speak certain \
words with remarkable distinctness.
I But we must confess that the church
! bells at Lexington, Ky., are singularly i
; mmjuuvvu, as vssv ioiiv »» IIUIU |
! the Boston Bulletin, be tract
i Col. R-, of Louisville, spent the i
| winter in Lexington. A friend of his i
i spoke of going out to see him. ‘Come j
on Sunday,’ said the Colonel, ‘I want
i you to hearken to our church hells.
! There’s four of ’em. Each of 'em
sounds out its own denominational
! call.’
‘There is (tie Episcopal. That is a
heavy, deep-toned, sonorous bell. ;
Now you'll see if that don’t ring out, |
i’postolic succession! ’postoiie succes
"'' ’111a- R01!!<_'' f.nV11 <i5i?iiWVrmn—mat s j
! most as deep-sounding, and says—
’eternal damnation ! eternal damnation !
eternal damnation!’
•The Baptist is quicker—a sharp, j
snapper bell—and says rapidly—‘Come j
up and be dipped ! come up and be
dipped! come up and be dipped!’
‘But the Methodist—that’s a crowdcr
—it talks right out—‘room—for—all!
room—for—all! room—for—all!’"
A “Feakfcl” Local Item.—An ap
plicant for the position of local editor
ou the Eastern Free Tress has sent to
that paper the following item us a spec
imen of what he can do :
“Yesterday we saw a sight that froze
our muscles with horror. A hackman
driving down Northampton at a rapid
pace, cam? near running over a nurse
and two Children. There would have
been one Of the most heartrending ca- !
tastrophes ever recorded, had not the
nurse, with wonderful forethought,
left the children at home before she
went on', and providentially stepped
into a drugstore just before the hack
passed, t hen, too, the hackmair, just
before reaching the crossing, thought
of something he forgot, and turning
about, ho drove in the opposite direc
tion. ilad it not been for this won
derful concurrence of favoring circum
stances, a doting father, loving mother
and affectionate brothers and sisters
would have been plunged into the
deepest woe and unutterable funeral
V I •• •
Brk.ik if IIei.l Itself.—An old
preacher in Western New York, who
was being persuaded by some ol' bis
1 churchmen, during the political excite
ment in that State last full, to join the
radical party, said ;
“No, my brethren, I can't join that
party, because all the abolitionists in
the country are in it; and abolition
ism, my brethren, has done a wonder
ful sight of harm among the people.—
It bus hurt many shepherds and scat
tered many flocks. It got into the
Methodist church and broke that up.
It got among the Presbyterian* and
split them in two; and it got in the
old government and broke the old |
Union to pieces. And, my brethren, I
don’t know of anything it is good fori
but to break down aud break up.—
And if you have any enmity against
the ‘old boy, I advise you to send abo
litionism into his dominions, aud it
will break hell up itself in less than
six weeks.”
fcjyA friend told us yesterday of an
amusing scene he witnessed lately at
the old river ford, near Nachitoches, in !
this State. A negro had a wagon and
a team of six mules which he wished
to drive across. The two head mules'
took kindly to the water, bnt one of
the hind ones, a white mule, obstinate
ly refused to enter the stream. Jump- j
ing tVoni his seat in a furious passion,
the teamster began beating the perverse
one witli might and tnaiu, exclaiming
between the blows, “You think vott’s {
white, does yon ? But I'll show you
dam quick colored mtiles is as good as
i-. f»ec up! '^-(N. O. Crescent.
A horse is the only “individual ’
that fully appreciates the “luxury of
A female writer says : ‘The in
tellectual women are few, and they
generally marry men of mediocrity, or
crippled physically.’
*>a?r The ancients tell ns, that during
the sojournment in Paradise, heaven
sent down twelve basket of talk ; and
while Adam was eating three of them,
Kvc snatched up the other utuo.
*63“ Josh Billings says: “I never bet
enny stamps on the man who izalways
telling what lie would have did ef he
had been tbarc. I have noticed that
this kind never git tiiare.”
Somebody says a baby laughing
:n its dream*is conversing with angels.
Perhaps so—hut we have seen them
crying in their waking hours as though
they were having a spat with the devil.
fSfMany favors which God giveth
n-- ravel out lor want of hemming,
through our own unthankftilucss; for
though prayer purchaseth blessings,
giving praise doth keep the quiet pos
session of them.—[Fuller.
*5T“Look here boy,” said a nervous
gentleman to an urchin who was munch
ing candy at a lecture, “you are annoy
ing me very much.” “No I ain't nei
ther, said the urchin, “I'm a gnawing
tliis 'ere candy.”
4<35f* At a celebration of a marriage,
a large number of young ladies wore
present the minister said: “Those who
wish to be joined in the holy bonds of
matrimony Will please stand up,” and
all the young ladies arose.
“'Wonderful things are done
now-a-davs,” said Mr. Timmins, “the
doctor has given Flack’s boy a new lip
HU 111 Ills chock. "All, said the lady,
"many's the time I have known a pair
taken from mine, and no' Very painful
operation either.”
JBSaS" A story is told of a Quaker vol
unteer who was in a skirmish. Com
ing in pretty close contact with one of
the enemy, he remarked: "Friend, it
is unfortunate, but thee stands just
where I am going to shoot,” and blaz
ing away, down came the obstruction.
teif- Squabbles, an old bachelor,
shows his stockings which lie had just
darned to a maiden lady, who eon
hies rejoins, "Yes, good enough for a
woman darn her!”
SST* “Donald,” said a Scotch dame,
looking up to her son, “what is slan
der?” “A slander, puid mother?”
quoth young Donald, twisting the
corner of his plaid, “A wool, I hardly
ken, unless it he an ower true tale
which one good woman tells of an
The question, “Does getting
drunk ever advance one's happiness?”
would seem to be put at rest by tins
Irishman who went courting when
drunk, and was askdcTwhat plcrsurc lie
found in whiskey? “Oh, Nelly, it’s a
trn'to entirely to see two of your swate
party faces instead of due!”
fob" At the time when there was so
much excitement about iron-clad ves
sels, my brother happened one day to
be at dinner, and was carving a piece
of mutton. Said lie: ‘This mutton
seems to ho very tough.” Little Wal
tor, a six-year-old, looked up and said
“Father, l guess it came off our iron
clad ram !” Referred to the Commit
tee on Naval Affairs.
SoMKTIUKG FOR I’.Vl'A.—Miss \Y ilkillS
was a beautiful blonde, amt she want
ed to go to Scarborough—so she told
her mother—to look for something
very particular for her dear papa.—
.vmi « uni r* u iisMu iiui mum
er, “that you so much wish to find for
your dear papa?" "A sou-in-law,"
was the gentle reply of the blushing
Out This Out.—For a long time, hy
drophobia was thought to be inrurablc,
and persons afflicted with it were
either strangled or smothered to death,
liut a German forester dying a few
y ears ago, made known a life secret by
which lie had saved many lives, and
which may serve a good turn to some
of our readers. Iiathe the wound con
stantly witli hartshorn and give three
or four doses diluted during the day.
The hartshorn decomposes chemically
the virus insinuated into the wound,
and immediately destroys its deliri
-Itanium has bought a house on
Fifth avenue for $100,000.
-They charge nine eents a pound
for bread in Washington.
-A bill has been introduced into
the British Parliament to enforce the
practice of vaccination. It is estimated
that 10,000 people in the United King
dom died of small pox last year.
-The Detroit Post says : The wife
of Ena Rood, well known in this oitv,
whore he was for a long time a resi
dent, a lady over sixty years of age,
died on the 0th, at Wayne, Mr. Rood's
present residence, from the effects of a
hoe sting.
-—On Wednesday night a band of
regulators visited the cabins of frecd
ineu, near li ram tie Id, on the Louisville
and Xashville railroad, and whipped
several freedmen. One was shot thro*
the leg while attempting to escape
The negroes were charged with ldl$
ii^-s atld horse stealing.

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