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For Salt or Lrast.
JOHN I. LYNCH'S Deal Estate anil Insurance Agency. 8;i.200-A bouse and lot on North Plum street, House containing Ave room and buttery; oorner lot 50x-easy payment. ... . SS.HOO-House and Lot on West aide of South ilnrket, North of lta Ball road-Term X oab, bal ance In two paynienta-abarnaln ... . . U.350-Houe and Lot or South Cherry street, bel all road, bonne with Uv rooms, lot oornerlog On alley Mxm. three yeara time ll.UOO-A fine, new, two aiory frame, 6 rooms, hiittiry, bath room, finlsue i In good style ; situated on Boulb Market below railroad. Streetcars will rjn the door-cheap, one third own. 'l !00-Attue eight room bouse and all necaa ary out-buildlng Including stable, ou South Mar ket street flhe home, long time, 8.1.500-A Bne residence on Lawreno Avenoe. containing nine rooms, good outbuildings, barn, fruit In abnndanoe-1 acre ground, payments easy. ttUIMt-Anice Kllte home on North Plum street, house with five rooms-K cash, balance In ys. STOO-A. desirable building lot on East Tnsoa- FftWftfl trof 13.500- A very flne residence on East Tuscarawia street; llb-ral terms, cheap, tiv....- Bl.loO-Houseand lot on South Liberty street, Six rooms, corner lot; reasonable terms. ti-OOO-ABneresidenceonS uth Market? well finished house with room and buttery. Are years ' MfoO-A sii room home on East Fourth street, blln U- "all, buttery, out-kltcben. stable, large and Zall fruit, oorgar lot: aoxlfuo toeing two streets, b sT'slVo-House and lot on touth Poplar, six rooms Stable notn good repair, oeatral to shops andolty 5!iOO-Forty Bight cros of Improved land tare TwMiSllS Wi from mm to pm fcT-A New i drawer Weed Hewing Machine Betall Price r6 00. .Canton, Jan. 20, 1881 A MARYLAND FARM FOR SALE. If you want to live In climate like onto Italy, where It le ft Normandy for tJ?" d " ,b' purchasing desirable frm In Wicomico county, Maryland, containing , MORE OR LESS, Adapted to the growth of early vegetables, small millS. COm, W1HMH, Uttw, huvwww, uv, v mw mometer' never down to lero. Terms-4,0OO cash; 4.600 on terms of one, two and three years, uo .i'; taYLOB. JanSgm Oxford, Talbot Co., Md. For Sale Cheap, A CORNER LOT, With story and thlf house on It, on South Plum street, within I minutes' walk of Court Heuse. Also House and Lot on South Walnut street. These house can be pu waseu a a uargaiu, tuiiunvvi Cliarlew C. Upham, ATTORNEY AT LAW, Ovnoav-NEW CAB8ILLY BLOCK. dc28- An Excellent Farm For Sale. The undersigned wishes to sell his farm, located In Plain township 3 miles North of Canton on the Ber- UU road, rue larm conuuua 164 Acres, M tirrn In mod timber and balance In first class till' able land. There Is on the larm two good dwelling houses, and bank barn, with the neceesary buildings. The farm Is well watered with springs and wells ud a good wind mill to run the well The larm will be sold reasonable- . For further particulars rail on the undersigned on the premises, or address him at New Berlin, Stark FARM FOR SALE. We will offer for sale the farm situated In Perry township, stars: county, o mues muiw ui utu on on the Klcbyllle road. The farm contains 165 1-2 Acres, Or 147, lust to Biilt the purchaser. About W acres In timber, balance In good cultivation. Orchard of old anil vounir trees. Also a llsh dam. bank barn 47x90, brlok house, two Btorys. 8 rooms; a spring ol running water, and also all necessary out buildings For further particulars can ou me premises ui uum, M. KRABILL, J. CONRAD, B. SOMM.EB. Rlohvllle, Stark Co., Ohto.-dec30-dm Farm for Sale. The undersigned executors of the estate of Joseph AlTllM Al. Otlft IhB h,m 1 1 II llt.Ml 1 ,1 Perry township. Stark county, I miles southwest of Canton on the Blchvllle road. The farm contains 160 acres, about 100 acres under cultivation, balance good timber land, Fences an in goou conauion, gooa orchard, larse new bank barn, good atory and hall frame bouse ot 8 rooms with all the necessary out buildings. Two never failing well of good water and many other conveniences. In short, the farm Is one of the most desirable In the county. Title dear. For terms of sale call ou Mahlon Brown on the p mlaes. MAHLON BROWN, AMOS BROWN, deoOom. Executors. 3 Farms for Sale. ' No. 1. situated In Lawrence township. 1 mile from Canal Fulton. Said farm contains 136 acres good buildings, fences, well watered, Ac, 4o. Price low nd terms easy. No, 1, situated In Pike township, containing 60 acres, good buildings, well fenced and watered. Cheap and easy payments. No. 8, situated I miles northwest from city of Can ton, Small farm, good barn, well fenced and water 'ed nd surrounded by three roada. A rare bargain In the above land. Also have 85 valuable building lota, on good streets In olty, at low prices and easy terms. Parties wishing to aelltnelr property, bny or rent should not fall to oall as I am giving my attention to the real estate business and will warrant prompt at- entlon to all business enirusiea w me. J. E- KITZMILLER, Office Opposite St. Cloud, novi8-tr LOOK IITCIIJS ! A RARE CHANCE FOR A BARGAIN. Valuable City Property for Sale or Trade, tor Farming Lands in Stark County. One business stand with lot In first ward, beside I dwelling houses and 4 vacant lota in the 1st Ward: I houses and I vacant lots In the 2d ward; 2 houses In the 3d ward; 1 house and 1 vacant lot In the, 4th PLENTY OF TIME. I will sell cheap on reasonable terms, giving from six to eight years, Time to suit purchasers. Call on or aauresa, JOHN BAKER. P. O. Box MS. Canton, Ohio, ' August M, I880.-mp. lots! Lots! Lots FOR SALE On Lawrence Avenue, on North Market, and in other localities. Very low and long time given If desired, or wil sell ua mummy payments. My lots are LaSr than Ordinary 6. W. LAWRENCE, No. 18 a, Tuscarawas St. marll $1 I Outfit furnished free, with full Instruc tions for conducting the most prolltab e 'Hislness that any one can eniraire in. Tn, Plmslness is so easy to learn, nnd nn, I structlona are so simple and plain, tha any one can make great prnlits from the very star. No one can fall who Is willing to work, Women are as successful as men. Boys and girls can earn larga suns. Many have made at the business ever o hundred dollars in single week Nothing like It ever known before. All who engage re surprised at the ease and the rapidity with which they are able tp make money. You oau engage In this business daring your spare time at, great profit. You do not SM! 10 1?" capital In lk. We take all the risk, inoae who need ready money, ahonld write to us at in0!L.-".",r"lllh4 tt- Address Taoa ft Co,' August, Main a. Emerlsior Rlbntp Pub. i U : turn s -'Mm CURE YOUR BUCK ACHE And all of the Kidneys, Bladder and Jrlnary Organs by wearing the Improved Excelsior Kidney Pad. It Is a MARVEL of HEALING ana" UELIKF. Simpler Sensible. Direct, Pain less, rowenw, It CURES where all else falls. A HEVEIATION and IIKVOLIH'ION Id Medicine. Absorption or direct application, as o-posed to uniatlefsotory internal mcuiuiuu., muu iu, vui mmm vu D-MnAw irnuhlM. wnt fnv. Hold hv. driifffflsts. or sent by mail, on receipt of price, Aatiron, This Is the The "Onlf Lung H Co, nfalnal &nd OenuTneKid- IMC UIIIV LUUg I QU UUll ney raa. ask for It and take -k - i no other. woiroiii jyxicn. Emerlsior Rlbntp Pub. Legal. LEGAL NOTICE. Enos B". Broslua, In the Common PleasCourt Lake Erie, AUI aacedk Wheeling B. It. Co., et al. oi oiarn;oouniy, uuio. David Jones and all other oersons holding bonds 0 said Railroad Company not yet presented to the referee (the true names of said persons and their places of residence being unknown) will take notice thaton November 30, 1880, the defendant Cllnlon B. Flsk, trustee, Hied a supplemental cross petition In Bald action against them and all other defendants In said action setting forth that the Indebtedness of said railroad enmuanv. on the dav Its property was sold. on Its bonds and coupons, was :I58.7I0.85; that there was paid on rlgnt oi way claims ana oilier prior nens li7.niM.S4. leovlnl6.2M,'Klto annlv on: said bonded Indebtedness; that bonds and coupons amounting to S'34,U3I.08 nave own presented ana t la.iuz.ai paiu on them, leaving (1.076.8 In reserve for bonds that may hanrMnnlullii ftllA tfmfl. That there are no more of said company's bonds and coupons mat were a lien on lie properly or en title j to share In said fund and that the balanoeo said fund should be dlsti Ibuted amongst tbe bond anil nniinnna Alrejulv nrwiented. Tu it lue persons above described claim to hold some of saldbonds and coupons and to be entitled to share In said fund, and praying that said persons be miuiMilpfannantjiand reauireu to answer settlug ud their claims: That the court will determine the validity thereof an wnat ulviae nai mey may oe en titled in and that anv balauae of said reserve fund maylbe divided pro rata amongst bonds and coupons that have already, or shall by auswer day, be pro- Held parties most answer said supplemental cross- peutioa neioro aiaroii ii, CLINTON B. FIBK, Trustee. By Lynch, Day fe Lynch, bis Attorneys, Jan20-pw. Legal Notice. Bachel Commadlner. John Oommadlner and Cath erlne Leeden, who reside at No. 242 Blvlngton street, New York cits N Y.,wlll take notice that Henry C. Hoffman a plaintiff on December 18, HMO, tiled nis petition in me uommon rieu ujun oi owe county, Oblo. against them and Kllsabetb Dlelman, Frederick Hoffman and Michael Dewan, defendants, setting forth that William Hoffman Jr. died In 1865, leaving a will which was probated August 2. 1866 In said county by the terms of which be oevised to aald Rachel Commadlner hla farm In the northwest quar t nfinntlnn townshln III of ran ire 8 in said county oontalnlng 60 acres.upon the death of testator's lather ana mother, upon conauion mai sne buouki pay 10 Frederick Hoflmbn, Louis Hoffman and Elizabeth Dlelman S3O0 each in yaarlylnslallmentsottioueach betrinnluff one year from the death of said father and mother and to said Catherine Leeden (300 when she became 18. That said testator's.mother died in 18SS and his father August 9, 1879 That said Rachel Commailner 'accepted said de vise; Tbataald Louis Hoffman assigned his olalm under said will to said plaintiff That there Is due sold planum unaersaiu win siw ana interest rrora August 5, 1880, which she reiuses to pay although nnvmant M demanded. That the payment of said PQ0 Is a ehargeupon said land That the other defendants claim some Inter est In said lands. That said John Commadlner is the husband of Rachel Commadlner. And praying the court to find the amount due the plaintiff from said Rophel. and In rane tha name Is not nald to order said land to be sold to pay tha same, Thatsald other defendants oe required to set up their claims or be forever barred, and for all proper relief, Hatd Rachel and John Commadlner and Catherine Leeden are notllled that tney must appear ana an awer said petition on or helore February 19th, 1881, HENRY C. HOFFMAN. By Lynch, Dat A Lynch, deo23-pw his Attorneys. Divorce Notice. Flora Matson, Plff.) vs y Peter Matson, Deft, J Peler Matson, late of Cleveland, Cuyahoga county, Ohio, but whose present residence is un known, Is hereby notified that Flora Malson did on the 20th day of November, 1880, file her petition in the office of the Clerk of tbe Court of Common Pleas, within and for tbe county of Stark snd Btate of Ohio, charslnr the said Teter Matson with gross neglect of duty and vklng that she may oe divorced Horn earn reter Matson. wmcn petition win stand forbearing at toe next term or taia court, FLORA MATSON, By Mkyeb 4 Pikbo, her Attorneys, Dated this 20th day of December, 1E80. Divorce Notice. Jesse Aske. whose last known residence was In Wichita In the Btate of Kansas, but whose present residence Is unknown, Is notllled that Rebecca Aske did on the 13th day of December A D 1880. die her petuion in the orace ortneuieritoi meuourtoi uum mon Pleas within and for the county ot Stark and Btataof Ohio chenrlnr that the said Jesse Aske had been wlllully absent from her for more tban I years last past, and that he has been guilty of gross neglect of dntv tawnrrin her and asklnff that she may be di vorced from said Jesse Aske, and that the custody of their minor children, ueorge u asue, ines sue asks ana ueraia u ask may oe awamea hi ner. REBECCA AH EE, by Mortland ft Rue, decltlw. Her Attorneys. Stobes Tinware. &c nl Stoe Dei YOST&KOONS GENERAL DEALERS IN Stoves. Mantels. Furnaces, Ranges, OilStoves,Kitch'nWare Bole agent for the celebrated llahoning Coal Cook Stove, .11-. manufactured at Warren, 0 and considered npenor aruoie. jsspeoiai attention given to Tin, Copper and Sheet Iron Ware, . Roojlng, Gutter ing, Spouting, &c. Al kinds of "Worlc done to Order on Short Notice. No. 21 North Market St., CAXTTOXT. O. L. P. TOST, W.F.K00NS. 48-tf &ortnottott Talltj Coal. C0MN0TT0N VALLEY COAL. The best of Connotton Valley Coal sold at J. TRODO'S (OIL YARD, The only coal yard In the city. I have always on hand LUMP, NUT AND PEA COAL at the regular prices. I handle no Osnaburgh ooal as there b none sent to any dealer In thla city. Orders promptly filled with good, clean ooal. and FULL WEIGHT GUARANTEED . deotVSO-lm. J5icufot!lillJntj fall. 45x c ABSORPTION wv.) Ill LUNG DISEASES, 111 THROAT DISEASES, f11 BREATHING TROUBLES. It DRIVES INTO the system curative agents and healing medicines, it DKAWri KltO.lI the diseased parts tbe pois ons that cause death. ajgr Thousands testily to us virtues. YOU CAN BE RELIEVED AND CURED. TVm't dpsnalr nntil von have tried this Renslble. Easily Applied and RADICALLY EFFECT UAL Remedy. Bold by Druggists, or sent by mall on receipt ol Price, 82.0U, oy Bend fbr Testi monials and our book, "Three Millions a Year1 Bent free. The'-Onlj" Lung Pad Co(1 DETROIT, miCII. petrols JUlt Butortr. NATURE'S PETROLA HAIR RESTORER J ''it ' ' ' tT ut!---1 Is a puie deudwnsed extract oi Petroleum and la nnequale i for the hair, combining a toulo and a dressing, agreeably perlumed, In one prepuritlon It Is quick aad edlclent, pleasant and cooling, stops, tbe hair falling, one application renders dry, brash hair sort and glossy, and unlike the sticky and pasty solutions Bold as Hair Kenewers. contains no particle of sliver, lead, sulphur or other Injurious druga, and will never gum or become rancid It Is not a dye, but restores hair to Its natural oolor by Invigorating and vitalising the hair organs, MiNUriCTDBKD BT PETROLA IHANUF'G CO., Canton, Oblo M-SOLD BY ALL DRUGGISTS fitting, kt. Renovating & Dyeing House. Oldest inthe City! C. PETER & SON. NO. 2? W. TUSCARAWAS ST., CANTON, OHIO. SOILED CLOTHING, SHAWLS, GLOVES, FIJI'S, I'LUMES, SOFT HATS, JcO. CLEANED, DYED & REPAIRED All work done promptly and satisfaction guaranteed I Work done up In first class style. We make a special ty ef cleaning Light Furs, Plumes and Kid Gloves, Also sort bats dyed and re-blocked. All work war ranted to give the best of satisfaction. Goods left on our hantls over three months will be forfletd. Jan2670-tf 5Eiutationat. The undersigned will commence In his selectschool North Poplar street, canton, Ohio, a Normal Class especially designed for the Instruction of teachers In theKngl.sh branches and In the theory and art ot teachliiK on Monday, August 4i h, 1879. The session will continue twelve weeks, closing In time for the open'ng of the Winter Bobools, A rare opportunity will then be given for teachers to make reviews and to pi epare themselves for more thorough work In the school room. -peclal arrangements will be made fbr students desiring to pursue the higher English studies or tbe Classics. Terms Invariably in advance: For the teacher's and English course .........412.00 For the classical course.-. ............... 16,00 For further particulars address, TJAJVL WOHLEY, No. 83 North Poplar Street, July 17, 1879. CANTON, OHIO. jFIour anil JFmIj. AND All Kinds Mill Feed, Highest Cash Price paid lor Grain, MILL, foot of Cherry St, SALESROOM, HAA8 '.Vr T"- r NORMAL CUSS. MIS ID STORE, , HEADQUARTERS FOR "Sunlight Flour" Land for Salt. vttttotv,0ii8rco "jut " .-nr"'". t .no.twi" ... mm m i'.hv" Ditch Notice ToER Royer, Ramnel Pontlas, Anna Pontius, Jeme Royer, Abrabain Honney. Sophia Henney, John Foune, Sunan Fouse; Wra Royor and Maria Royer, helm ot Abraham Royr deoeawed, aIho MArgamt Brou.J H Hmtth, Havtlla Kurrwr. Kl!i bth Hmltli, Harah Ream.L'ora Hmtth PheoneNmlot, W 0 Z rbe. Amanda Hunt. M utricle erhn. Allen Zer- be, Frank Zerbe, Jacob Zerbe, Urtie Zorbe, belra of You are hereby notllled that ft petition h an been filed by myself and others, with the Town ship Clerk of Lake township. Btark county, Ohio, praying for (he locating and enlabllnhlng of a ditch, drain or watercoume. commencing at a point at the eaut line of the part of ihe northeant quarter, In section 27. township 12, range 8, running soutliwfwt through part of the northfiwt quarter, section 7; thence south through part ot the north oat part of numher 7 of quarter section zi: uioneesmni.ei.Hi louowingineoiu channel, and termlmitlng at n point of part of north ballot northeast quarter sfctluu Mt to Intersect ditch numher 8 In nald township. A nd that the name In now pending before the trim teea of aald townshln. and will be heard, and their proceeding" thereunder completed on the 4th day of t eorimry, itm, at b o cioen a. m. at peiittouer a bonne. Given at my office thin 15th day of Tnnnary.1881, VviIiMAM BKVKKTjKY, Petitioner, Q. W. 8 MIT 11, Clurlc of Lake Townnhlp. au20d NOTICE. TTotlo. Is hereby given to all persons not to trust ny wife, Kmma 0 xhelberd, ou my account as I will pay no debts of her contracting. VjanU-dw HEJX&Y H BHXIBKBD, NOTICE. Poetxg THE SONG OF THE CAMP. BY BAYARD TAYLOR. "Give as a song I" tha soldier cried, Tbe outer trenches guarding, When the heated guns of the camp allied Grow weary of bombarding. The dark Redan, In silent soon, Lay grim and threatening, under, And the tuwney mound of tho Malakeff No longer belched Its thunder. There was a sause. A gnardman said t "We storm the fort to-morrow; Sing while we may, another day Will bring enough of sorrow," They lay along tha battery's side, Below the smoking cannon; Brave hearts from Severn and the Clyde, And from the Shannon. They sang of love and not of fame, Forgot was Britain's glory; E ch heart recalled a different name, But all sang ' Annie Laurie." Voice after voloe oaught up the song, Until its tender passion Rose like an anthem; rich and strong, Their battle eve confession. Dear girl, her name be dared not speak, But as the song grew louder, Something upon tbe soldier's cheek Washed off the stains of powder. Beyond the darkening ocean burned The bloody sunset's embers, While the Crimean valleys learned How British lovs remembers. And onos again a Are of hell Rained on the Russian quarters, With scream of shot and burst of shell, And bellowing of the mortars. And Irish Nora's eyes are dim For a singer dumb and gory; And English Mary mourns for him Who sang of "Annie Laurie." Sleep, soldiers I still la honored rest Your truth and valor wearing; The bravest are the tenderest Tbe loving are tbe daring. Variety. VARIETY SCRAPS. To step on a man's corn goes against bis grain. Muoh as the monkey surprgges man In agility, he can't ran uu bills as easv. ran up bills as easy, Landlords' agents In Ireland are mark.' "men of The tower of Bibelli the first continued story on record. Michigan has produced a pig with a trunk. This thing should be checked. If you want to appreciate the genius of Shakp peare, put yourself In his plays. Tbe dancing master Is alwas taking step to Improve but business. It lake an old woman well versed In herbs to live sage advloe. Tbe girl who bangs her hair often make the wire who baBgs her husband's. An Irishman tells of a woman who was so cross-eyed that she put her spectacles on the baok of her head. WheB you find yourself with your wife and mother-in-law, to whom should you give your arm. A Frenchman says that the soul of wine is at 111 top. It must be a cork soul. Love levels all ranks, but you can't love an onion enougb to level Its rank. "Sam, why are lawyers like fishes ?" "I don't meddle wldde tubjeo' Pomp." Why, don't you seeT 'Cause dey am so fond of debate. "There, that explains where my clothes-line went to," exclaimed an Iowa woman, as she found her husband hanging In the stable. Epitaph for a cannibal "One who loved bis fellow men. The small boy soon grows tired of a new drum, There Is nothing in It, The man who Is under the weather should car ry an umbrella. Tbe Emperor of Brazil has translated some of Whittler'a poemB into Portugese, "Let me see your paper a moment, dear?" Husband "Yes, as soon as we get to the tun nel," Even the wisest Is sometimes a fool, For ex ample, the philosopher who wore his spectaoles when asleep that he might recognize the friends he might see In his dreams, Two little birds started out to sing, When foggy was the weather; They cleared their throats and whetted their bills, And coughed and wheezed together. They wheezed and coughed as hard as they could, In this dreadful foggy weather, Till they spoiled their notes and split their throats, And turned up their toes together. Mixed matters Tom and Jerry, It's the sculptor who "outs a figure." Its not nnfrequent that the differences between men become striking, Bad footing that the lnoompetent book keeper makes. A kiss on the lips Is worth two on the cheek. That Is, It Is said to be. Why is tbe aoe ot spades like one man In fifty Because it's one In fifty-two. "I'm going fast," as the prisoner remarked as the Sheriff took blm oft In Irons, "By hookey, I've caught a fish I" said the small boy. Non-committal-the school boy, and that's why the master spanked him. A funny spectacle Germany going back on tbe loolalLlpzt. Beggars shouldn't be chew-sin, and yet many a tramp carries a huge cake of navy plug around the country, Abstraot offices were Invented for the purpose of making people sure of their ground, Sausages are dog angels, Funeral Benevolence : "A dead give away," There is only one married state Mrs. Blppl, The ties on which tbe rails of butlness are laid Advertise. "Another bark gone down," he exclaimed, tu be threw his dog In the well. The woman question-Switch is swltoht Patslng around the hat Is one way of getting Ihe cents of the meeting. The soap-maker's watchword .'Where there's lye there's soap." A man wants but little here below sera. Locked up and the keys left on the Inside the piano-forte. The seasick midshipman said they were his middy evil days. The good Samaritan stopped at the sound of woe; so does tbe good horse, "Marriage," says an exchange, "Is a knotty question." Is It, Indeed; but It's nice. A kiss on the forehead of some of our modern girls Is a sort of salaam bang salutation, Tbe Wisconsin man is proud ef Milwaukee. He calls her tbe oreatn city and will not have any but her. Pike's Peak, In the Rocky Mountains, has come out as a first olass volcano, In fact, Pike's Peak haB Bpoken, Tho latest thing In culinary styles Is the six buttoned pancake with embroidery of currant Jelly on the baok. The most afflicted part of the house is the win dow. It Is always full of panes; and who has not seen more tban one window blind T We are all of us very like the poor Ignorant woman who, when asked If she bad religion, re plied that she had touches of it occasionally, "Have yon cologne t" she asked. "No, ma'am," replied the druggist. "I have no soents at all." And she said she thought m all the time. I saw a watch-spring running clear, a monkey-wrench his paw; I saw a donkey engineer, A picture frame a law. I saw a cow-hide In the grass, A rush-light on tbe floor, I saw a candle-stick In mud, And a bell-pnll on the door, A man was arrested In New York the other d. with a coffin under his arm. which he was tr. lug to sell (or ten cents. The man wanted twn bier worse tban one ooffin. The followlns: Is an enltanh fVnm a tnmh n Versailles: 'ExceDt In 1859. rinrfns whih fa. several days she took lessons on the piano, her lire was without a stain.' 'What's your taste V asked a Rnatnn wu painter of a customer, 'I can give you a harmo ny In green and white. Or a Bvmnhnnv In l...n. der and brown, or a nocturne In yellow and niue,' When a boy walks with a crlrl aa ihnnoh h afraid some one might see blm, the girl Is his sis ter. If he walks so close tn tlAF ft SI tn narat1f crowd her against the feaoe, It is another fellow's sisier, 'Why should we celebrate Washlnvtan'a hirth. day more than mine?' asked a teacher, 'Because he never told a lie I' shouted a little boy. The difference between the school bov and tha clerk boy Is that one stores the mind an the other minds the store. The base drum slaver mrkes mora nrriM tlnmn anybody else; but he doesn't lead tha han. There is a moral to this. Mark Twain, speaking of a new moaoulta net. ting, writes : 'The day is coming when we shall sit nnder our nets In ohurch and slumber peace fully, while the discomfited files eluh tnnthnr and take It out of the minister.' A New York lady examlnlnar an annlfnsnt fa the office of mald-of-ali-work. intarrnimtiui ho. follows: 'Mary, can von scour tinware i,h alacrity?' 'Perhaps I could, ma'am; jbut I gen erally have scoured with sand. The women are against Mnrmnnlim thnrn its days are numbered. In faot. nerhana tho . sent Incumbents had better be picking out their nrst wife. There never were so msny Inducements for a white man to be a Ponca as now. The antim country is worrying for fear that these red men will not obtain their rights, After an enthuslastlo lover anenda two hmir.' hard labor over a letter to his ilrl. and then man Its beauty by spilling a diop ofluk on It, he first swears in a soientmo manner for a few minutes, and then draw a cirole round the blot and tells ber It Is a kiss, and she, poor thing, believes It. If your sister, while engaged In a tender Ann. venation with her sweetheart asks you to bring a glass or water from an adloinlns room, vnn nan start on the errand, but need not return. You wm aot te missed-that'a certain. This depart ment ha seen It tried. Don't forget this, little boys. William goes a oourtln', With her silent sits, Both engaged In sortln' Wood In little bit. Not a word they utter Curious kind of eourtln' Now and then they mutter : "Thlrteen-flfteen fourteen." A school boy being asked by a rival on the street, which wm tbe highest study in hi school, replied with a stare of pity and surprise : 'Why, astronomy, of oourse.' 'If I have overused any unkind words, Han nah,' said Mr. Smith, reflectively, 'I take them all back.' 'Yes, I suppose you want to use them ov r again,' was the not very soothing reply. A South End woman hnnted two hours for a needle she dronned on the floor, and find it, and then ber husband came In, and bad hardly taken his boots off before he could tell where It was. Queer how men can do things women can't. Angelica asked Augustus, who was a nice young man, wnat was the synonym of liquor. He put his face close to hers and lnvlnv mid he didn't know. She tnld him hn HlH .a she removed from the reach of his breath, she siia she was certain that whisky was the sin In him. and the next time Augustus nallori ho wore a beautiful blue ribbon on his coat front ana aeiicateiy ninoiea a clove. YE OLDEN DAYS. Thirty yeara ago Michigan people were a frank and truthful set. Strangers could come bere and trade horses with their eyes shut, and breach of promise cases were unknown. ' Folks meant what they said, and when they gave their word stuck to It. Exactly thirty years ago this month a widower from New York State appeared in Lansing on bu siness. That same business carried him over to DeWltt, eight miles away. While en route he stopped at a log farm house to warm his cold fingers, He was warmly welcomed by the pio neer and hi wife, both of whom were well along tn years, and after some general talk, the woman queried : "Am I right In thinking you are a widower?'' "Yes." "Did you come out here to find a wife?" "Partly." "Did anybody tell you of our Susie ?" "No." "Well, we've got as bouncing a girl of 22 as you ever set eyes on, She's good looking, healthly and good tempered, and I think she'll like your looks. "Where Is she?" "Over In the woods, there, chopping down a coon tree. Shall I blow the horn for her?" "No. If you'll keep an eye on my horse I'll find her." "Well, there's nothing stuck up or affected about Susie. She'll say yea or no a soon a she looks you over. If you want her don't be afraid to say so." Tbe stranger beard the sound of her axe and followed it. He found her Just as tbe tree was ready to fall. She wa a slout, good looking girl, swinging the axe like a man, and in two min utes he had decided to say : "Susie, I'm a widower from New York Btate; I'm 39 year old, have one child, own a good farm and want a wife. Will you go back home with me?" She leaned on the axe and looked at him for half a minute, and then replied : "Can't say for certain. Just wait till I get these coons off my mind." She sent the tree crashing to dearth, and with bis help killed five coons which were stowed away In a hollow. "Well, what do you say?" he asked as tbe last coon stopped kloklng, I'm your'n," was the reply, "and by the time yon get baok from DeWltt I will have these pelt off and tacked up, and be ready for the preacher.'' He returned to the house, told tbe old folks that he should bring a pieacher back with htm, and at dusk that evening the twain were marri ed, Hardly an hour bad been wasted in court ing, and yet he took home one of the best girl in the State of Mlohlgan. Detroit Free Prtu, THE GAME OF LIFE. Man's life Is a game of cards. First It Is 'crib bags.' Next be tries to 'go it alone' at a sort of 'cut shuffle and deal' pace. Then be gambols 'on the green.' Then he 'raises' the 'deuce' when his mother 'takes a hand in,' and contrary to Hoyle, 'beats her little Joker' with her 'five.' Then with his 'diamonds' he wins tbe 'queen of heart.' Tired of 'playing a lone band' he expresses a de sire to 'assist' his fair 'partner,' 'throws out his cards,' and the olergyman lakes a ten-dollar bill out of him 'on a pair.' 8be 'orders htm up' to build fires. Like a 'knave' he joins the 'clubs,' where he eftoet get 'high' which la 'low,' too. If he keep 'straight' he Is oftentimes 'flush.' He grows old and 'bluff,' sees a 'deal' of trouble, when at last he 'shuffles' off his mortal coll and 'pannes In bis checks,' and ho Is 'raked In' by a 'spado.' Life's fitful 'game' is ended, and be waits the summons of Gabriel's 'trump,' which shall order blm up.' We are In recespt or a poem entitled "Ideal Ov er There." The Inference Is that the other fellow I doing all the dealing here. The author says In a note that It la full of consolation. The masse ot the people will fall to see how he make that out, A SCENE IN CONGRESS. Good Advice to a Young Man from His Father My ton, It may be that a yon grow older yon will be seised with an ambition to serve your country In the halls of Congress. To this end yea should begin now to acquire that polish and east elegance of language which will enable you to shine In debate. Bead the dally papers, and thus familiarize yourself with the language and man ners of the American legislator. Cut out tha official report of the financial debate between tha Hon, Mr. Cleaver and the Hon. Mr. Snark, that It may be to you a text-book upon monetary mat tern. Hon. Mr. Cleaver-In presenting this bill for the Issue of 400,000,000 oopper dollars per diem, Mr. Speaker, I am moved to say: Hon. Mr. 8nark-The honorable gentleman la dirty liar and doesn't dare to take It up. Hon. Mr. Cleaver-Sir, Mr. Speaker, If the hon orable gentleman doesn't take that back in two shakes of a sheep's tall, I will kiok the everlast ing stuffing out of him. The Speaker The gentlemen must be careful. In the heat of debate, not to overstep the bonnda of courtesy and parliamentary usage. Hon. Mr. Snark-The gentleman Is a lop-eared son of a gun from a wooden-shoe county, and he) ean't whip one side of me. Hon. Mr. Cleaver-Will the gentleman step out from behind bis desk and put up his mauleyaf Canoe to we you sucker, I only weigh a pound. Hen. Mr. Snark-I'U slay your nasty month, you venemous old beast. Hon. Mr. Cleaver-Aw-w, shut op, Skinny; what are yon glvln' us ? Hon. Mr. Groans, of Texas Black his eye I Hit him In the mouth t Other honorable gentlemen from various State Smear him one I Send him one on the pasta horn, for luok 1 Smack him in the snoot I Hon. Mr. Can Handle (the Speaker), mildly Tbe honorable gentlemen will please keep with In the bounds of Parliamentary courtesy. Hon. Mr. Cleaver (Jumping up In tbe air and: cracking bis heels together) -Whoop I I kin chaw ud and carrv out anv son of a thief hnitnan Chi cago and Cairo ! If you don't believe it, smell of uiy uuuui i Hon. Mr. Snark Hold me down, somebody t m the bad man from the river dlstrint. and T Mt raw buffalo I Where do you want me to hi ursi t And just here the nollne. nn thair in inaa a disorderly house in the neighborhood, stepped In and closed the debate. From this page of Congressional hlstnrv. m son, you can see how to direct your reading la order to acquire a sufficient knowledge of flnan- uiai maiiers to participate in a debate on the) funding bill, It mav be a grand thlnv tn Congress. I won't discourage you, my dear boy it your ambition leans In that direction. Still, so long as yon have an alternative onnn. an Innw . a you oan get a steady situation as chambermaid la a uvery staoie or a oierk on a raft, I wouldn't ad vise you to set your heart on Cnmri-eu Th a m- rlcan people do not bave very much respect for congress as a body. They are always sorry to sea It In session. They are always glad when It ad. Journs. Individually, the .members of Congress are, I believe, good oltlzens, good neighbors good men. But for a lot or good raw material, my boy. they can make the meanest aggregate when they get together Don't worry about going to Con gress, Telemachus. Go to the mine or join tho minstrels. Your parents will think more of you. — Bob Burdette. RELIGION IN THE LIME KILN CLUB. The President stated that he was In receipt of a communication from St, Louis, asking the Club how It stood on the Bob Ingersoll question of Qod or no God. He would ask Sir Isaao Waipole to answer it for himself and all his fellow mem bers. He was willing to abide by what tbe good old man said, and he believed all others would! be. The white-headed old man, old and wrinkled , and burdened with to weight of 70 years, rose la his seat, looked around him and quietly began: "If dar am no God den dar am no fuchur. When we close our eyes In death de soul dies wid us an' we molder to dust de tame as de brutes, It has been a long Journey for me. In my heart am de graves of wife and chil'ren. Mr days bave been cloudy an' full of woe. My nlg'ta have been dark an' full of sorrow. I have been robbed, cheated, abused an' made to feel my wretchedness, but neber In my darkest hour, did I doubt dar was a God, nor did I lose faith in Him. Take sway dat faith to-night, make ma believe datdaramno heaben, tell me dat I won't meet my poor old Chloe an' de blessed chU'rea up dar 'mong de angels, an' you would crush ma down an' break my old heart. Dat'a all I 'pear to be llbln' fur-to wait de Master's call to closo de ledger of life, a'n' go home I I am old an' poor an' lewly, but heah in my breast am a teelln' dat I wouldn't sell fur all de gold in de world dat all de arguments of a million Ingersolls could not change a feelln' dat poor an' lowly as I am. de grave will not be de last of me." During hla remarks tbe hall was as quiet aa the grave. When he bad finished it was a fall minute before any one moved. Then Brother Gardner softly said : "As says Sir Isaao, so say we aU."-Detroit Fret Press. HUMORS OF THE TELEGRAPH. That was a witty man who, being detained by a snow blockade, penned a dispatch which ran thus : "My dear sir, I have every motive for visit ing you, except a locomotive." So was the other who, under similar circumstance, telegraphed to hla firm In New York: "I shall not be In the office to-day, aa I have not got home yesterday yet.'' The following dispatch created no little amuse ment In the office through which It passed: "Charlie and Julia met al 8 's yesterday, quar relled and parted forever; met again thla morn ing, and parted to meet no more; met again thla evening and were married." An old lady in a town of Massachusetts refused the gift of a load of wood from a tree struck by lightning, through fear that some of tbe "fluid" might remain in the wood and cause disaster to her kitchen stove. A good story Is told of a country womsn who received a dispatch later than she expected: "It must have been delayed on the road," said she. "I know the wires are busy to-day, for I heard them working aa I oame along." EXHAUSTION FROM BRAIN WORK. Few of our business or professional men reach the age of forty-five without brain and nervoul exhanstlon often to an extent that forces them to relax effort, or abandon work for a time, if not altogether. An occasional use of that vitalising agent, now so widely known aa "Compound Ox ygen," would give nature the power to restore these wasted force In a large number of case. Bev. D' D. Beed, of South Amboy. who was great ly ran down by overwork, and consequent waste of nervous energy, after being restored to hoalth through the use of this agent, gives It this volun tary and strong endorsement: "After a most tho rough and oontlnned trial ef Its worth as a reme dial and restorative agent, I pronoun oe Its value to be above that of gold and silver. I freely and voluntarily commend it to all brain-workers at tbr best thing they can use to secure a restora tion of exhausted energies." Dra. Stabkit & Palen, nog and 1111 GIrard Street, Philadelphia, Pa., tend their Treatise on "Compound Oxygen" free to all who write for It. It contains a record of many remarkable cures, During this cold weather how muoh Ink stand? Keokuk Constitution. Dunno. How long can the pen holder. Hawkeye. Woll, till the paper cut her. Cedar Falls Ga zette. How long will the paper-weight? As long aa the Job presses? Clear Lake Mirror. Or perhaps till the types set.-Dee Moines Register. Tbe family were telling riddles oao evening, and the five-year old told this: "Four little hopper toads sat on a tree. Two hopped off and then were none," Nobody could guess It. "Well," she explained , "one of them hopped right back again." "Who told you that riddle?" asked mamma, "Nobody ," replied the little one. "I thunk It up my self I"