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a j jiaare,(or leHSHie$jrbevV V . .' winhitldftiinlinlrtl0nV . Three mbntbijA V V 3 2 SiimofrUt, v - V.r KTi - Twelve montO. jX- DflJ lOolu MeVjri so on If' Ose foerthof " half ' f alnmn Alloveraiquarechaiedaje.twostyarea lTAdvertieraenieinserj;edtilttforbidaithe pense of the advertiser. . JOB WORK tecuted anhiaOfTlee with neatness andde 3patch, 1 1 theJof styossibleralei . 1 - JOB WORK Poetical. THE SPIRIT OF PROGRESS. Thg1oomTji'iJli)l breakig,V . B'lft. Jo k lunVeams rertu , With eTaintjBt cheering reifce ,i- , On the biK.-tps of the West, Th miati art slowly rising From the Tiller end the plain, And the spirit it awaking, Ttot ihklnerer sleep in. And ye mav hr. that listen, V The splnt'i stirring gonjj, The nurses like the ocean. I With its solemn bass along Bo! ean t slay the rivers. Or bind the w!ng of light, Or briny back to the morning The old departed night? ' ' Nor shall ye check my irgpulae, Nor stay it for an bour, Until earth's groining millions . Hare felt the healing power! - The spirit is Progression. . In the vigor of its youth; The foeman of Oppression, , Kpi its armor is the Trotb. Old Error with its legions Mast fall beneath its wrath: Nor blood, nor tears, nor anguish, , , ; Will mark it brilliant path. Bnt OnwArd, upward, heavenward, ' The spirit still' will wmsj. Till Pac and Lov shall trinmph, And Valsiuood reign no more. Miscellaneous [From the Portland Eclectic. THE SMALL FAMILY. BY JUNIPER. "Hush, baby hush !" whispered a yonng, gir.iih looking mother, as, for ptrhaps the tenth time, she left the breed she was making, and hastily crossed' the r om to touch with her foot the rocker of a wicker cradle, whose tiny occupant was nestling and twistingwesrity, fighting the sir with both chabhy Est, as though bidding defiance to further sleep or )uiet. ' A few minutes hurried rocking, and the ne'stling ceased, as the little hands fell uncon sciously on thesnowy blanket and the diligent little housekeeper liuiried back to her bread again. "Mercy on rile ! a quarter to twelve al ready I" she said, raising hereyes to the clock, "and how impatient Louis will be wHen he finds be must wait for dinner ! oh. Hear I" and. the pretty woman, flushed and flurried by the entieipatHBirof her htwbaniPt fretfulnessr hut-, lied about with all possible expedition. The bresd was at Inst in the oven, the va rious culinary enterprises put in operation, the dining room neatly arranged, and Mrs. Floyd wis just spreading the cloth on the dinner ta bl, whea the baby cried again, and the little foot hurried to the rocker again as usual. Be fore the child was quieted, Mr. Floyd came in. "Why, Annie," lie said hastily, "where's dinner f Oh, dear you haven't any regularity now-a dsya. You're always rocking that cra dle, end never get anything done in time. wonder what y u'd do if you htul ten in the family, as your step-mot he has!'' Mrs. Floyd felt the tears trying to come, but she choked them down, and said quietly "Don't be impatient, Louis, I tried to have dinner in time, but the baby had bren trouble tome and wakeful all the morning; I've had to carry him in my arms, while I was at work, bait. in forenoon. He.wies, I'm not very strong, and I've bad a distracting headache all day, "If rou'rnot able todo vonrwork. vou should have kept Matty longer: sW was willing atay." "Yea, I know but yon asid yourself that the waste.) more than her wages, and that everything about the house was going to wreck and rain, under her administration. Besides, she knew very little about doing bouse-work as it should fie done." "Oh, Annie, you're too particular and old' ma id is h by a (treat dent." "Am I f Who came to me with such a wo ful complaint because Matty vxun'loldmaidith enough about her crockery ? who wouldn't drink I glass of water because he saw the print of her fingers on the glass? who looked ao diimal because the sugar-bowl wasn't its Old place on the wrong side of his plate I" ' 'Well,' laughed Louis, 'she certainly didn't divplay much taste in arranging the table, but there ai other things she could do to help yoo." ' "Kothing more than a child ten years old tould Co. blie couldn't even make the tea biscu'ts without coming to me with everything to know bow much to take. She never .a baking, or ironed your linen once, while she was here i to the latter, a clothes basket half full of starcbed things can testify, even now fot I have not found lime to iron them inee ahe went away. - "She wai a poor affair, I grant yon ; ahe could at least bave taken care of little Lou baby tending don't require much talent I believe." "Indeed, but it does, though ; and such tal ent as comparatively few possess. Matty said she didn't like babies, and she wss never wil ling to take Lou. in her arms : and if I insist edon it, the would be quite as likely to bim by one arm as any way : I never felt safe to leave him with her a minute." "Veil, 1 don't know; butit seems to the saeXild bave been better than nothing. Any way, I don't like being obliged to wait quarter of tn hour everr dnv for dinner." The yoang wife sighed at the implied reproof and hunted arouad to complete her arrang meat, while the- thoughtless husband seated himself by the window; end drawing some newspapers from hit pocket, rend comfortably until tbe invited him to thr table. - Tbe dinner bour passed pleasantly for Floyd; tbongh sometimes imp Mien t and be was at heait very fond of pretty wire, and fitly proud of bia beautiful boy.- His wile h Mtberto been, aa be 'the most punctual .wecreslnre in the wi roTld. tat since little Lou' had claimed so much ber time and attention and every mother kvtwt that of all the tyranta a baby wthi most aisoting and unreasonable ahe found it impossible to adhere to her former "She had "a small family' true ; and many eemed to consider this another term for aad leisarei but many a young wife,' with 4nly a hnsbaed and one child to oaie for, ouad to the contrary, t The same routine housework must be (one through for a family SWt-flWI. Tl Hf IB 11 MP ttJftfifC ia ,t"iii. v h i.k i ' i-1 i in i ill i iii i v i i ii ii i iiiui in i" n i'u ill i ill i : .ii i i iii t l n rf ' hi i T3Tir O fJULD y "Fearless and Free." $l,50per Annum in Advance. Newe' ; ' ATON, PREBLE COUNTY, 0. SEPT. 7. 1854. " foini.No. 12 - v -t 1 - ' at number. n? if part otjt ii neglected thejti mion is quite aa aefiibly felt. xQh, aa-oman- with "only a husoand ana Daoy jj io oo pmeai 11 me doni-bell tings, ihrlrast inswef it, no matter Sbethet aJ.eii wasine dishes, kneading bread or engaged in enjr' other domestic duty she miift go almost aiwr) wiia me oaoy in ner arms. She hs no one to take a atep for her from morning till nighterery little touch rnustbe wuh herown nana. Mr. Floyd rose' frorrt.the table, kissed the boy sleeping: ao comftnbly in Die cradle, he said he was a funny little plaything and didn't appear to mae much trouble after all, took his hat, and was leaving the room, when, suddenly reocllecting himself, he drew a roll nf mnrs frnm hi nnikft ' ttavinar. w. ,..rv, - i , j r- - "Annie, nere are some imporlant per which I wish yon would copy thisaiternoon ; they must be accurately done, and 1 dnn't like to trust them to that new clerk Hp is I to in did ; jet but lift a Mr. un reasonable, his of had ease haa of blundering fellow at best ; and I have as much ns I can do this afternoon. It is positively necessary that these be done as soon as possi ble; can't you attend to them at once, sud send them to the office by a boy ? There are half a dozen playing out here befora the gate.' "I'm alraid 1 can't wellafford time, Lou is f 'Nonsense vou write so rapidly, you know. And here I forgot to mention that I caught my coat on the gate latch and tore the lining shockingly; hand me, another from the ward robe, please; nnd I wish you'd mend this so I can have it agsin at to time. Here it is good bye." And tossing the disabled garment on a choir, he c osed the do r behind him, but opened it the nextnjinute to say-V "Ojhr'jMfie, get up something nice for t a. won't y,ou? Remember you've siven me toast twice'Witnm a week already. Seems tome you (jvaVt have much variety these days, eh, Annie f"iAnd he liughed aa he closed the gale.,; r . Pom Annie ! she felt half sick, and quite discduraged, and loneed to lie down and rert; but there was "no release in that wsr." So she hastily cleared the table and commenced her copying The task ws long and difficult. It was after one when her husband left the house; and by the most rapid exertion shoj ron Id make, the papers were not finished nn-l til hair past two. She sent them to trie oflice as directed, and then, as the baby was not crying, she thought it would Ue thebest op portunity to mend the unfortunate coat So she commenced it, and hod hardly taken faa a dozen atttches, when littljj Lou, out ofrfll pmence, oegnn 10 scream mosi isuscaity. She took hint up, held him a few fniniVes, and leaning him once more against the pillows :nsucn a position mat ne con in see ner lace, she again resumed her mending, and sewed diligently for nearly an hour the baby crying half the time, in spite of her nods and smile. It was finished at last, and she turned her attention to the neglected kaby. It wjs now half past three, and ahe was revolving in her mind aa to the best method of washing the dishe with him ia'Jiar trine, whea tUe door bell'rung.v'' The new Comers were some lady acquaint ances, who had ca leu "to see thst darling baby," and after handling and ahaking it till it was sufficiently cross tnd fretful, and was ting a full hour of the poor woman's time, they took their leove. "Half after four 1" she exclaimed, on re entering the kitchen ; "oh (ear, where has the afternoon gone ? And now, supper ought to be on the table by five, and here's the fire all out, and this child in my arms I" She consigned him once more to the cradle; where he lay kicking and crying after the most approved fashion, until she had kindled a fire and washed the dinner dishes. This consu med about fifieen minutes, and then she about preparing some little delicacy, to tempt ber husband's fastidious appetite. Tbe table wa not drawn into the noorwhen he arrived and all wives know that men nev er think there is anything done towards get- ling a meal, until the table is set. "Oh, Annie," ne exclaimed, as he threw himself into a chair, "you are getting perfect ly incorrigible five o'clock, and not a sign supper. Una would think the work for small a family might be done in better season, and wit'i some regard for punctuality, won der what you'd do if you had seven children. as your step mother has T Her meals are at wavs ready in time." Thia "step-mo' her" allusion was a favorite hobby with Mr. Floyd, md Annie had heard it until she was tired of it. Her cheek redden ed as she replied "What would I do? I'll tell you, Louis I'd do as she does have two or three girls among the "seven," who could do half work and all the running. She don't answer the door bell, nor wash dishes, nor make bed, from one weeks end to another ; and mother takes the entire charge of the mending so she is tree from that tax on her time. And those same "seven children," which you snd she are alwaya harping on as such a load her shoulders, making so much woik, and ta king ao much time, are just what save steps, and by doing a thousand litt'e trifling offices, small in themselves, but still taking tune, enable her to have her nr.esls "always ready in time." Even the little oncscan close a door, brini( her spool or thimble, or gather basket of chips -and that's m re than 1 have done for me, from morning tilt night." "Uut then, Annie, lint think of the Cooking she haa to do ; you say it is the worst you bave to do, particularly in the summer and you know she always does the cooking herself." "Yes, I understand all about that. lived in the family pears enough to know and you'll look surprised when Hell you, for the real labor, I'd as soon do the cooking for her family as my own. She hss to prepare a great quantity of food, to be sure ; but has none ofi this little vexing, fussing, to up something nice" as you te I me, for every meal. Her hu.band wouldn't say a word he had toast tor tea every night in a week. She never troubles herself to prepare the hun dred little delicacies which demand mu and patience. She prepares a quantitt plain, wholesome food,- and it lati till it on that is, if it isn't disposedjof at the mesi, it is placed on the table at the succeed ing one. But you kno yon never want tee anything on the table but once, even is something which is juat as nice as though newly prepared. You think yourself undone if you don't have have warm bread at meal, her husbsnd don't see any for days gether. All these things maybe trifles, Louis, but taken together tbey make all me aiaer ence in the world." ' The young husband looked serious ; at raised the babr from the nillowa and playing with Aim, while Annie was cleanng Wey the tea-tbingt. Juat as she had finished;-the -"stepmother whom Mr. had ao often quoted, came in by the garden door. She wise little, sharp-featured, obser ving womtn, who prided herself on ht'she called "taking advantage of her work," ha ing.it always done in time, albeit she bad "the larrest family in the neighborhood." "Good evening, Annie," she said, as her lynx eyes took in the fact that Louis was tend ing the baby while his wife washed the dishes, "-cents to me Lou is is getting domestic : won der what my husband would say if I should ssk him to stay in the house and tnka care of the tajjy I' ''Ha would probably tell vou to call on one ol the girls," said Annie, with a quiet smile. Not hnvinggamedany advantage in this, the lady changed the conversation. "It has been a ctxirmin.T day ; why didn't you come in with little Lou V '1 have been verv busy all day," answered Annie. "Loti has been troublesome, and I had to. neglect aim sadly. Ho has cried half the time." "1 don't aee how you keep busy sllday with Mwhnt little housework you have to do," said If the pattern lady, who always delichted in such convict reproofsof Annie's household msnnre- ment. "I should think you could go out just when you please." "Nevertheless, I cannot," answered.Annie, "and I am not slow, eithe-. It is Friday even ing and I have been busy at work ever since Monday morning. I bave risen in good season in the morning, wo ked until late at night haven't made a single call, and haven't open ed a book or newspaper ; and my week's iron ing isn't done yet." "lline was done in the middle of the week,". said the pattern. i.- "Did you do it ?" asked Annie. f'O, no ; Mary always does the ironing I have enough else todo." 'And your mother has done the mending, snd Nell the house-cleaning, and Kate the chamber-work, snd Fanny has washed tbe dishes, ss usual J" continued Annie.' "Yes," replied the lady, "the girls are ni capable of doing such things as any one, though, of course, the care all lalla on me." "Well, mothei," snid Annie, a little mist ehievoiisly, aa she took the baby and com menced preparing him for bed. I don't see that you have worked much harder than I have." "Mercy on us! what, where you have only three to care for, and I rn .' How un reasonable. Annie!" "Well," said Annie, "you snd I always had diffevnt ideas about this matter,, and I surf pose we never shall entirely agree upon it. But you never have known what it is to get Djorig wil-k. a fretful baby, and ho one to lift a nrrterto neip you , lor wnen you commen ced house Jteeping, you hady) .step-daughter tw)elve'Vearsold, besides having your mother witjb ymi, asjsje has-beerr-rlj the time since. But we'll say nmnVe (bout i.V Just lift tl. baby, and see bow mucn he bas grown within a week.'v After chat tihg sociably fora little while, the lazy tok her leave. As she passed through the littfe.back kitcrn. Annie's basket of yet unsmoothed clothes caught her eye, and she pasted through tht garden, saying comfortably! to nerseu If I had only my husband and one child take rare of, and couldn't get my ironing don beiore Saturday, I'd drown myselt t" Tbe husband sat silent a minute after she hsdgone, and said kindly: "Annie, I have been unreasonable with you forgive me ; for I begin to see that peo ple with large familiet don't always woik the hardest, and that there really is something do even in a "small family." A Good Excuse. set of so ; the There is a society in existence, which, like most other associations of the kind, bus standing rule that all members who come late, or absent themselves, shall be fined a certain sum, unless, tliey are able to give a sufficient excuse for tsrdineis or absence. Or. one occasion a member came in after hours, and the chairman asked his excuse for being late. "Really, sir, I was not able to gel here be foredomestic troubles perplexities of mind I cannot say which will die first, my wife or daughter!" "Ah I "-said the chairman, expressing much commiseration for the father and hus band, "I was not aware of that. Remit the fine. Mr. Secretary the excuse is good one." The member consequently took his sest. Tha next morning another member met him and with feeling asked him bow his wife and dauehter were? "In excellent health," replied he. "How? I thought you snid you did not know which one would die first!" "I did; and am 'till in a quandary, time, however, will decide the question." A Boston Boy's Independence. on her a task ; I've ; that An old gentleman of Poslon.who wasatthe head of a large manufacturing establishment, had an apprentice addicted lo rather an tin cleanly practice, termed by anxious mammas, 'nicking the nose.' Often had his employer remonstrated with him on the impiopriety such a bobit. lie was rather a close-fisted li, customer, and one Fourth of July he in formed the youth in question that he must work that day. The boy, of course, did relir.h ii much, but went away grumbling; and on bis boss calling at his place or business see hew matterrnrogressed, he found the busily engaged, at usual, with his nasal pro tuberance. There, John, this is the twentieth time week I have detected you in that filthy act!' he exclaimed. 'I don't care,' blubbered the anpientice, my own nose, and it'a Innependence Day, I'll pick thunder out of it!' she "get it time of it first to if it every to be began Floyd rtTOne of our exchange tells a good story an agreeable young man who was in the com pany of ladies one evening, tnd proposed conundrum, which he taid he had read in papen, It was tins: "When is a lady not lady?' There wak a pause. 'Give it up,' all round, when, to the infinite horror of party, the querist exclaimed, 'When abe'a little buggy!' Nobody laughed, some were demure, some Indignant, tnd tome no doubt inclined set itch the qiieristt face. He was disap pointed. Fumbling in bis pocket, he fulled out a paper which; consulting for a moment, be ejaculated. 'Oh, I beg yon r pardon, ladies I made t mistake. Tbe tnswer is, 'When she is little tuliy." I knew i; wss tome tort of carriage.' The young lady who let down the win dow curtain to keep the man in-tha from teeing her in ber night clothes, I been teen atCburch with t bole in ber stock "Mr. Sn)itb, don't yon think Mr. Skeeaics is a young man of parts?" . "Decidedly so, Miss Brown; ha ispart num akuH, tnd rait knave, and part fool." INITIATING AN OUTSIDER. BY JACK HUMPHRIES. is All creation and the balance of mankind were, early one morning aroused Iroin tbe dulness usually pervading the pious, prim, and peaceable town of bst JNulmeg, by the cry of- What is it an about f" "When did they come?" "How many are they?" What do they lo k like ?" "Did you see 'era V "Are they human critters?" "What aretliey going to do ?" "Who?" "What?" "The Know-Nothin?s !" "Know-Nothings ?" says a native. "Know-Nothing." "'Well, I'd give a fo'pence to know," con tinued the .native, "that i,l sin is't -ell about ?" . "O, you oave'nl seen em ?" says a jolly, round visaged, bright evtd individual , who with other strangers, and natives of East Nut meg, were gathered in a knot abouttlie depot, discussing the topic which had in a single niht came, sawff'and took the town, "Uave'nt seen them r' "Seen who ?" says native. "The Know Nothins." "Know-Nothings ! Wal, I kinder cal'late I have a few." ';0, you Ve one of 'em, eh ?" "Look a here, squire, if yeou don't want to to a so a of not. to boy this 'it's tnd of i the said the to t a moon hat to be squattin cross-leed in yon heap o sand, I cal'late youM better not say mv ede- cation hat been neglected in oiiysicha wav." "Not at all, my dear sir, I only predicted that you were athat is, hang it I mean do you know hat'a out r" "Ye s; I'll ieii you wnavs out, squire." "Good, what is it !" "A writ agin Jos i Pruden for breakin' the Sabbath el tew flinders, playin' keards in Deacou Dnuke's barn. "Pshaw !" said the jollyman, "Idon'l mean that sort of work, I sitppose you are like the rest of these Know-Nothiiig, to sly, eh to be cought?" "Squire, do you chaw?" "Yes," said the jolly looking man. "Hand us yeour tobaco then." "Yes, I don't chawrr "Giteout! gettin' kinder sharp set too, 1 cal'late. Now look a' here, squire, I gin tew expect yeour from New iork (" "I expect you're correct in your remarks."! Wall, I knew yeou wasjean tell yeour fel lers a nule off; e'yes; can by kingdom. Now I ca'late there's somethin' goin' on, that's a fact all ftfedust raowaremind this yer toawn, this mom', beout somethin' a feller ever beam." "Ah, that's what Pwaj coming at. Now they say yoabave got a new invention a new fangled society, or a new order, party, or sect or something that's bound to get Christendom in an uoroarj how is it ?" ."Eh, yesj when they goin' to begin it, snuire ! " . . . "U, yougil out, siy u g, am i you one oi em?" . ..a. What, them fellows that's a going To reuse in. and break mines !" "I don't know; I only ask you," continued the Squire, "I only ask for information you tee." "Wall, naow, look a here, a feller never made much be dod rotted ignorance in this land of universal liberty and giueral edication; and feller bates to come right daown and a con fess he don't know nothin, that's a fact; but, ouare. I've got to acknowledge the corn, and it's no use talking, but durn my buttons to np nle sans, ef I wunt, us p or a fellow as I be, ginjistten sb il 1 i ny and upwards to know what's kinder busied raounu tiers. "Would vou ?" 'Wouldn't I? By golly, squire, I guess eonr the critter can jiat tell all oli mt it ?'. f'l'm just the man that can." "I knew yeou be ! Grea-a-t kingdom, let's hear all about it ?" llis s-b," said the humorous man, 'hi-s-h, I've been sounding you." "Yeou don't say so J" echoes the citizens of Nutmeg. ,'Yes, sir; we have to be cautious." "Eh, yes," abstractedly responds the Nut- meger. "Can't speak out to everybody." "So." "Yes, air; now I know you're a good egg." "Aiggs?" "Good egg sound to the core !" "Soound ? wou'd'nt wonder, never ailin but once in my hull life; than I had the damdest scratch in' time yeou ever did see, I reckon. Ever had the ich, squire ?" "Never, thank you." "0, not nt all, squirh, you are quite welcome as Uncle Nat said, when lie shot the lngin." ".W'll, air, now 1'K give you in n whisper, an I idea what's up; and if you love our country" "Ic?" 'The land of the free, and the home of the braue!"' Grea-a-t Fouitli of July J pilch in big licks squire." "Our own dear native inna i" "That's the ginger! go it, squire," says Nutmeir. "well, sir, now you just roller me over the hotell. se: now take a chair. Here we now I'll give you a secret. Vou see ibis is grand secret society." "lih, yes." "And the ereStest secrecv is tn be adhered lo. Now rise, hold up both hands, high above your head, 80; now sware "Sware ? can't dew it squire, agin my re ligion." Are vou an American f "Ami? I an't nothin' else, by Bunker Hill." "Will vou sland by vour country 7" "Will I ? Yes. sir; till Gabral toots horn !" "Then swtre, that you will stand by American Eaglo, the stars and the strips, tnd never reveal the secrets:" Fourth of July and Bunker Hill!" chimes in the excited Yankee. "Thal'a it, good egg!" laid the humorous man. "Now, tir, you are one oi us, you a Know Nothing." "You dou't say so." - "Yes, air; now we have some mysterious signs and countersigns,-by which you can a brother of the society. When you see man lookinf at you with his right eye shut; his hands in his pockets, with a cigar if b smoking in the left aide of hit mouth you may know be't a Know-Nolbing." "Eh. yes." - Well, then, you, go toward him And your' left eye, so; you bite your thumb of left hand, if he bites' "Bitet?" if he bite; if he it really one nf he will tay something in e grumbling tone something like 'what do you mean ? or I vou mean that for me 1' Thn he bites, slowly, I see, then you advance close, and say 'nir wredin cutty!' " "Dutch, ain't it !" says the Yankee. . "Well, no: not exact'y, its our language, Then he'll say, "what dh yott iixJan V mm he'll te very apt to sayttmt,' onve or -twice, sure. You reply 'nibs,' don't lorget 'nios stag his nibs cully I"; . "Nips, eh, yes." . "Nibs, cully, how'a niVf?" "You then approach close up, shut the right eye grasp his hand, and nut your leu roretiiifer alongside or your nose, so. He'll then up and tell you alH about it." "He will ? How many fellows in this town have joined this society ?" " "Un hundreds, nearlyeveryiiony you meet are members; its raising the greatest excite ment imaciiiable !" "Beats MillerUs ? I was one of 'em." "Beats everything ont,Sff. Now here's the oath ! yon swaie by this tMbleni'' elevating a boot-jack. jf "What a boot-jack?" S "Yes it looks like a jackv'but it ain't, it's a blind, mvstery, we awarefjy this. You put your forefinger on your none, shutone eye, and sware never to reveal these, our secre s, to help your Independence day I Now, to-night, there will be a crowd near the depot about dark: when the crowd moves, you follow;they will take you to the secret- chamber, where you will learn more particulars. Now scott." "Eh, yes," and Nutmeg left. He hid just gone iifto ihe street, when. veritable sign met hi eyes. A long legged, doudle fisted fellow with butane eye in h:s held, stood gaping around y?vh bis (Tands in his breeches; up goes NutrpO'g, shuts his eye, and pokes hij thumb betweji'.' his molers The man with closed eye, looked daggers jyith the other, and by the twite'liing of his lips seemed tobe speaking, :or doing something like it, inwardly. , ( "Nix a weed in cully 1 tsyi Nutmeg td vsncing. V .., "What in yaller thunder d'ye mean ? say!" says the one eyed man. "Nibs sttg his nibs, cully, how's nibs? continuedNutmeg, advancing, grid placing his finger upon bis lone sharp nose, nnd grabbing at the stranger, who mistruMtinfc that the move meant no good, draws off, nM puts in such . . ii. ... . 1 1. i XT... .1 . ..1. I.l 1 soi' It naw.' that Nutmeg doubled un and went down all in a heap 'cobH)-!' "Go!l darn you, aint't on oe of 'em l- Why did" you say to !" bawled Nutmeir.trav elling into the hotel to find tffe Professor know Nothingness, and setui Ins hash ! Hut Professor Pete Moiris brflr tuddenly left parts unknown !utme' has bce'i lo';im; Pete for some time. Uottun Yankee Priva teer. The Teacher Stumped. r happened a room one day, a class of very small boys and girls were reci ting a lesson in arithmetic. It was about thiir first lesson. 'Five from five leaves bow many?' asked the teacher of a little girl of some six years f , .... After a moment's reflection, she answered 'five.' 'How do you make that out?' said the tea cher. Holding har little hands out towards him, she said, 'here are five fingers on mv right hand, and five fingers on the other. Now, if I take the five fingers on my left hand away from tlip fingers on my right hand, won't five remain?' The teacher was stumped and obliged to knock under. Severe Trial. A half score of young urchins gathered round a companion, whose palid face indica ted that he was sick, the result orsome juven ile indiscretion. The little fellows were busy in offering their sympathies in various homely phrases. The truth is, he had taken a chew of tobacco for the first time in his life, and having swallowed a portion of the weed, crew deadly siak. One little fellow who seemed to understand more fully his companion's situa tion than any of the others, itenlly placed on the sick boy's shoulder his hand, and said in a voice of deep condolence: 'Never mind, Jimmy, tre all had to go through thit very mere trial." Narrow Escape. Old Mr. Fuddle fell down in a puddle, just as a runaway horse and shay, came slashing, and splashing, and tearing that way. In helpless plight, he roared with fright the horse cama quick all gallop and kick when the old man raised the great oak stick. The horse then shied a little aside, Tor sticks were no friends to his well fed hide. Within foot of Fuddle's toes, within an inch of his ruby nose, the wh'el came whizzing, and on it goes. Up rises Fuddle from out the puddle, and stands on the road with a stag gering pride; then wheeling away from the scene of the fray, flourished, his stick with hero's pride. to a his the are tell a he shut the 'em, 'do you "In short, ladies and gentlemen," said an overpowering orator, "i can only say I beg leave to add I desire fo assure you, that I wish I had a window in my ' bus- sum," that you might see tbe emotions of my heart." (Vulgar boy from the gallery) "Wouldn't a pane in your stomach do this time?" A youth asked hit father's sanction to his project of marriage. The old gentleman re questing his sun to prav with him, prayed thst if the match was against the will of the Lord, he would throw obstacles in their way oiid make it impossible. The son, interrupt ing, cried, "0, Lord, don't you do it, for must have her any-how." A little fellow about five years old run across a street, and in his course ran between the fore legs of a horse which was rapidly pas sing along. A man who saw the occurrence, ran and snatched the boy up, supposing he was mucn injured, tsui tne boy, unhurt, pertly ejaculated: "Let him keep hit horse out of rtv wtvi what do 1 care." Courting in the country is altogether different institution from the city article. the former place you get rosy lips, tweet ci der, johnny cake, and girls made by nature; and in tne taller a collection or starch phrases, formal manners, fine silk, great jewelry, sni gitls got up teeuudem trtrm. Always take the rural district, when you want to get a good styie ot cauco. The following question was decided week ago last Ootober "which is the oldest berry?" We attach the answer: "The El de rberry." ' The Russians never laugh; when they tunny tney anooie up, vqureze their victuals, and give thttr moustaches a turei twist. Queer dogi ire thote btirs," Is published evertTIiuriaay ir)o;ninis in the room lmmedii?JVBer tht Post Pffice, Main Street, Eaton, Ohio, at tbe folloi rales: ft 60 pet irinniof iff 8ne. - '-m 4'00, if norpul r')llin (Be )at. ind CsyIh806ti j will be v&il'j er.tgrced.gf3 'Nd pspeifUscorrtinUBit 'tntit all iirearsges ar. paid, unJeyiYt the bptiovfhi publisher. aTAU comiounieotiohs rl?recd, lothe Ed itor hiastaj' scat freTifAlA"t-Wi",e t erjposv vV vT" - 1 JTNo co'mmiiniestton inaertefl; ilti$ ae Vmpanied by a fesponsiblt riarntffc:; Hypothetical Case. yeara tgo'an awk -ern New York, whe dbtbinea 1,5s lej jib d by Margery, in a- blacksmith1 ahof ,lrif'-)rse one upy; to carry a Joara OL wrought nam ta the next town a few miles distanl. Through his own awkwardness, nd tliitthi adrse, and by the tinned, exertions of tife two, e eery pretty citatUophe wat brought atodbi While descending t Steep hill, the smith give nil. an imal a few extta cuts, thinking to accelerate' .his spaed in a place where gravitation second ed the motions or tne" wnip, -out Trie sfeed stumbled, floundered, In" ibe- ditcB; and kicked Ihe bucket. The bladtsnrrftb',' .lijion turning the body over, discovered that the. an atomical harmony of the beast'neek Was lis trojed, that the spine was dislocated beyond the bonesetter's art, and that irt fact the how was dead. With a rueful countenance he re paired to the owner of the nag, tod aiked what must be done ? The reply was, ''you must pay for the horse.,' The blacksmith demur- ' red, and went to consult a .lawyer-, t - The lawyer happened to be away from borne, but his wife, who was prone to misehieviout fun thought she saw in the client food fot a little sport, snd inviting, bim to enter the house remarked that she sometimes gave legal advice in her nusDand's absence, and requested Dim to state his case. "Very well," said' the blacksmith, aeattns himself, leisurely. "I'll spose a case." "If you please that will do as well as to state your own," taid the handsome attorney. " Well, yer see it's just like tlj.i. S'pomn you were an old hoss-an'-1 should drive yer to the milt. And a'posin I should cut up the leastest mite on the flank, and yer should rair up and kick up. and break the breechen, ' and finally yer should fall into the ditch, 'and break yer curaed neck who'd pay for' yet ? Would I ?" asked the excited Vulcan, -in a voice of thund r. ' - "No 1 I'd be hammered into1 korsi ihoe nails' and be driven into the devil's clover! foot afore I'd pay the fust red cent I'' ' By this time the volunteer counselor bad re treated to hj door of the apartment, and aftet informing her client with t courtesy that he wis a plain case, and be need not. fear an ac tion for damages,, she disappeared, resolving never again to give advice, to her husband's customers. - . ; t i V a - of for as umpnt fc-'Is he alive?' inquired little he t 'zed on a lurge turtle cmvlih of a realauraht. 'Alive!' exclaimed a faJ entlemlcho was looking at the monster with intensnterest, ' "sartainlv, sartainly, boy. He acts like a live turtle, don't he!' , TV' t. 'Why, yes, he o like dneV aksVtffed the V little querist, 'but I thought perhaps be, wai makia' btl'tve. , , A facetious boy esked one of bis) ' males 'Why a hardwire dealer Wat like a bootmaker?' . ,.. SX The latter, sorcwhat'puzzled gave itjjp. 'Why,' answered the other, 'b cause the oite sold the nails, and the other Bailed tbe soles.' a a I CTThe Knickerbocker tells bf marl who stole a five dollar bill out in Indiana. Hit c unsel tried to prove that the note wat not worth five dollars, it being it a discount. The prosecutor sa d he knew that the thief was the meanest man in the State, but he did not think that he was so all fired mean as not to te willing to ileal Indiana money at par. ' UTOn the 2.1d, Lot Smith, Esq., of Athens, was nominated as the Democratic candidate for Congress in the district composed of the counties of Athens, Meigs, Fairfield, Hocking and Perry, Mr. Ritchie, the present member from that district, had declined a renbmination, on account of ill health. Lot is a good Dem ocrat and a glorious good fellow. 0"A young lady, Teturningl'.ate from a eon cert, as it was raining, ordered the coachman to drive close to the sidewalk,, but wis still unable to step a cross the gutter. 'I can lift you over it,' said coachy. 'Oh, no, I am too envy ' said she. 'Lord ninrm I'm used to lifting barrels of sucar,' replied John. -A fellow was once asked what inference lie could draw from the tcxtinjob, "And the asses snuffed up the wind." well," be replied, "the only inference I can draw is this, that it wcnld be a long time before they wonld grow fat upon it." -"Massa says, kin you pay dii bill?" "Your masttr is in a great hurry I am not going to run away." "iNo, but I golly, ole massa's ewine to tun away heself." There is only one paper in Egynt. a small monthly sheet, at four dodars a year. It is da voted mainly to the powers that be, and every one in the employment of the Pacha is oblig ed to subscribe. In fet) tlTThe Whigs of California, at their recent State Convention, passed resolutions in favor of the principlts of the Nebraska Bill, which is, that the people of every territory shall frrm their own institutions Without Congressional dictation. "Why does father call mother honey?" asked a boy of his elder brother. "Can't think, 'cent it's because she hat a large comb in her head." "Out West," and in California, news paper publishers have added a new feature to their records; for, besides 'Marriages and Deaths," "Divorces" are made regular men tion of. Oh!' exclaimed a poor sufferer toa dentist. 'that is the s cond wiong tooth you bave pulled out!' 'Very sorry, sir,' said the blun dering operator, 'but aa Ihere were only three when 1 began, I'm sure to be right the next time.' A pious old gentleman tod his sons not to go, undei any circurastancea, a fishing on the Sabbath; but if they did, by all mini bring name ine jitn. 'I go through my work,' is the r eedlestid to the idle boy. 'But not till you're bird nushed.'is the idle boy said to the needle. ' --Why its widower so much like a -lease in dilapidation? . Because it wants lo.be rc- ' PMd. , , , A drunkard's note is said to be a light house, warning us of the little watertbat pas set underneath. To prevent dow from killing aheJ'p.VBb theii heads off before they can rua abont. Tbe worst feature in a man's face is none when stuck into other preple't business.