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It publitbed every Thursday morning, in Ui loom Immedittely over tbe Post Office, Main Street, Eiton, Ohio, at tbe following rale: $1 80 pet annum, in advance. 12 00, if not paid within tbe year, and S3 60 after the year hat expired. yTbe rites will be rigidlyeoforced. No paper discontinued until all arrearage are paid, unless at the option of the publisher ffJPAll communications addressed lotlie Ed tor must be sent free of pcstage to insure at ention. 0"No communication inserled, unless ac componied by a responsible name. Miscellaneous [From the Detroit Advertiser.] Doestick's Sees the Millerites. New York, Nov. 13 1854. Seventy Hundred and one Narrow St. Mv friend Damphocl Intely became convinc ed that, according to the comforlnble predic tion of Mr. Miller, the "end of the earlh" -would become speedily visible to the naked yf,.f s thai cmiauie genuemnn nau auveruseu the world to burn on the fifteenth. Accord ing to the programme, the entertainment was lo commence wi:h a trumpet solo by Gabriel, (not the one of City Hall celebrity,) tn bel lowed by a general "sitting up stairs," and a grand mass meeting of the illustrious defunct after which "the elect" were lo start for Paradise in a special conveyance provided for their accommodation- the whole to conclude with a splendid display of (ire works in the evening. Damphool had done nothing but ting songs for a week. Bull Dngee, who was also a convert, had packed up his wardrobe in a hat box, and left the city; saying that he owned foriv shares in a Kentucky coal mine, nil was toine tn take possession of his prop erly; and he offered to bet us the drinks that if he stood on & vein of that coal, he wou Id be ihe last man scorched. Damphool squared off bis board bill and paid his washerwoman, who led him dead broke j old his watch to a blaspheming .lew. lo tain money with which to procure an ascension robe, in order to do honor lo the occasion ; he got one made of linen cambrick ; il was a trifle too lone, and out him maliglantly under the arm, but he bote it like a martyr, be got ahaved, took a bath, put on his robe, bid me farewell, and got ready to go up. I discover ed the place from which they were goinn to start, and went up myself lo see the operation in a vacant lot, where there were no trees to catch their skirts in their anticipated flight -laree crowd on the ground; one maiden lady in a lone white gown, and also dressed her Ud doe in a similar manner: a man with a family bible in his hand, had forgotten his robe, and come in bis shirt sleeves; ancient wench in a while night gow n, wun red stioes and vellow handkerchief around her head, knelt down in a small puddle of rain water, and prayed to take her up easy, and not butt her sore ancle; lady from East Broadway, came in a robe cut low in the neck, and trim med with five flounces; red-haired woman made her appearance with a cryipg baby, to the niter consternation of the company, who e. pec led logo lo Heaven, and hart no relish for a preliminary taste of the oilier place, careful old lady brought her overshoes in her work basket, lo wear home in case the per ' (ormance should he postponed; little girl had her, doll, and her three yeat old brothel had hoop, a tin whistle, and a painted kite; poor washerwoman came, but she had only a cot ton robe and a "tant pattern of that, the more aristocratic ladies moved farther away, and tmelt their cologne, while the poor woman knelt down in the corner, with her face the fence, Sixth Avenue lady came in a white satin robe, and n boy to hold up her '.rain, and her own hands full of visiting cards; efrican brunette carried a cushion for hermis trets to kneel upon, and a man followed be hind with her basket containing her certifi aite of church membership, a gilt edged pray rbook. two mince pies, and some ham sand- wifhers: old crinnle hobbled up, at he was devoutly saving his prayers, a bad boy (whe had not made any preparation lor airial travel ing,) stole his Clinch to make a ball club. Crowd began toseperate into knots, according to their different creeds and beliefs, Unitari ans. Boplists, Presbyterians, and Methodists, Postering round their respective preachers. I noticed that or.eold lady, evidently believ- iug in the perfect sanctity of hei darling mill iner, and desiring to insure her own passage, had tied herself to bis left leg with a line. Baptist man pieaching close commu nion. ; Presbyterian man was descanting . the accountability of infants, nnd assertion that a child three years old can commit suf ficient sin to doom it to the lowest hell. Sunrise-all knelt down to pray; east wind blew, nnd it began lo rain. I noticed .'Damphool had found a dry place on Ihe lee aide of a cider barrel. Methodist man , off his coat, nnd made a stump prayer, while oil his congregation yelled "Uiory." n.ip:ii man inserled a rpecial clause in uis suppllca . tion, that he and his crowd might go up r.i aeperate boat, ministers all at each other, or nobody. Know Nothing clergyman a long-winded political prayer lo Almighty, detailing tbe latest election returns, . deploring the choice of the opposite candidate, 1 impjoring his blessing on the next Governor, "(if the world ihould stand,) insinuated lhat expected the nomination himself; and conclu ded by advising Him to exclude from Heaven ' all foreigners, or they would refuse to live to regulations, and would certainly kick up row among the celestials. Down-town n hand, ready to go up, tried to vpray, frtm want of practice, could only utter disjointed sentences about "tincurrent funds, money market, Erie down to 36." (Damp hool whispered that if that man ever got heaven he would melt down the golden into coin, and let it out at two per cent, month,) began to rain harder; wind decidely chilly; their teeth chattered with cold, they began lo throw stones promiscuos prny iai! on every side. Methodir.t man sto: ped the midst ef a long,' touching supplication cuff the ears of a little boy who lnl him with ' bricki hours slipped away, began lo think ' entertainment was "postponed on uccount the weather." Noon came, loins were half so scared as they were in the morning; minister had tot too hoarse to talk, and nassine the lime in kissing the sisters. Damp hool looked to chilly thai I got him a glass hot whisky punch: he looked at me with holy horror, and went on with his prayer, before he got to "smen," the punch had appeared; husband of red haired woman and ordered her to to home and wash tbreakfast dishes and then mend his Sunday pantaloons ' One o'clock, teal began to cool off; at the enthusiasm was below par, at three rain poured so lhat I thought that an altera tion in the Litany would be necessary to it read, "have mercy on us poor miserable twimmcrt. Small boy threw a handfnll gravel at the long Methodist man, which him in the face, and made him look like mulatto with the small pox. Long Methodist man hunohed small boy with fence mil. Four o'clock i Gabriel hadn't come yet. Damoh ol, much disappointed, muttered i thing about being "sold," people evidently - getting hungry; no loaves or shea on , ground; woman with two children said ' ' wat going home to put them in the Iruadte Vd; long mart looked round to tee,- no wa looking, (hen tucked bit robe under , m, got tree lD iej.ee, ana iiincq rer BY W. C. GOULD. "Fearless and Free." $l,50per Annum in Advance. New Series. EATON, TREBLE COUNTY, 0. FEB, 15, 1855 Vol. 11, No, 35. one dog-trot. Dark; no Signs of fireworks' yet; pyrotechnic exhibition not likely to coin- mence for some time; Crowd Impatient; (I here missed Damphool, and found him an hour afterwards paying his devotions' to an eighteen penuv ftysterstew tnd a mug of ale.) Staid an hour longer, when the crowd began. to disperse, wilh their ascension robes so bad- rtmoi'lp.l iht if thev had received a second ' v- ... . vinnmnii. m ,n. won d have taken an extra qunntityofsoap-snds to make them presentable, nmona fl.crfnt all pels. i to among Ann.iui pi mvse i a enmm nee or nve look into the matter; offered the following resolution, which I unanimously adopted: Resulted, That putting on n clean slii t to go to heaven in, don't always result ir. getting 1 evn Ihoueh the lails beof extra length: and mat the creed mat teaches such a mn'ie of procedure is a farcical theoloey, fully wor thy to ue ranked among the many oilier ex cellent "sells" of that veteran joker of world wide celebrity Jo Miller. Damplv Yours, Q. K. PHILANDER DOESTICKS, P. B. The Lamentation of Me, Doestick's. Seventy hundred and one. Narrow St. New York, Jan. 23, 1855. a to an fish on ' lhat a and ad dressed the he up a man, but. some to harp a and in to a the of not were of a but dis came the two the make of hit a some- the the one bit nonio Sorrow is upon the heart, a heavy grief upon the soul, and a great affliction in the home of me, lioestic-s. My friend, the charm of my chamber, the comforter of my lonely hours, the treasure of my heart, the light of my ever, the sunshine of my txistance, the hoimwer of my clean shirts, and my Sunday pantaloans, the permanent clothing nnd faney goods debt or of my life, is no more. My sack -cloth gar ment is not yet complete, my tailor having dis appointed me; but dust nnd ashes lie in alter nate strata, unuisturoeu upon wie new oi me, Dnesticks. Weep with mesympntlnting world, bear a helping hand to lift away this heavy load of sorrowful sorrow, of woeful woe, of bi'tcr bitterness, of agonizing ajnny, of wret died wretchedness, and torturing torture.f which now afflicts with its its direful weight, the bead of me, Doestinks. I grieve, I mourn, I lament, I weep, I suffer, I pine, I droop; 1 despair, I writhe in agony, I ftd had. I'nnipho'il has departed this life. He is buried, but he is not dead; he is en tombed, but be is still alive. After a metrop olitan existencoofa few months had puriially relieved him of his rural verdure; after haviitg seen with appreciating eyes the suburbs or town which alone contains the entire nnd un divided Elrphmt, he has voluntarily exiled himself to a stagnant village in the Wes'ern wilderness -a sleepily malicious little, townlet vainly, for many years, aspiring to the dig nity of city-houl, but which still remains very baby, of a city not yet (mctiphoricnlly speaking) divested of those rudimentary trinn- gular garments peculiar to wenKiiiu'S in nn undeveloped state wilhout energy enough cry when it it is hurt, orgo-ahead-ismsuflicient o hei.p its nose clean. A somnambulistic town for in spite of all the efforts made for it glorification, it has ob- .linoiflv tc fused tii nhake off it munieinnlj .i...-.;na.e.a vt-rv nin Vnn "Winkle nf n 'own. nnw in the midst of its twenty venrs nan, and ut.iM, u-iii nniiisH sometime anil find itself .lilnnidatrl lhat its former friends wont recog-' niei'-i tmvn which actualizes that ancient: faille nf ihe hair and tortoise and, trusting its capability of speed, has gone fast as'eepat Hie beginning of the course, only loawnken enmo future day to the fact, that, all 1M tor- loise neighbors have pissed iton the way, nnd it has been distanced in the race, rather than be distmbed in its comfortable snooze. very sepulchre of a town, into which if a man wou'd be a voyager in ine si ream oi earneir. life be cast away and stranded, he is as much lost to the living world, ns if he were embalm ed with oriental spices, nnd shelved away the darkest tomb of the Pharoohs. A town whose fu'ure greatness exists only in the im agination of its deluded habiters, whose enter prise and public spirit are a fabulous as Phoenix. A town whicbwill never be a city, save in name, until telegraphs, railroads, col l,.irp: elnirehes. libraries and busy ware bouses indinenioiis lo the.soilof the Wolve- riiiH. and soring like mushroons from earth, without the aid of human mind to plan, or human will to urite the work, or human hand lo place one single stone. For, sooner than this dormant town shall matured into a flourishing city by the men doze away their time within its sleepy limits, the dead men of Greenwood shai: rie irom .i.: . ,uo. .,,,1 nil il.ir marble m ...i :.'., .,n,'a.mnn- market h"iise mucins ...i- .......... - - V hnra liiia the la't .UnKnlPl lamtlhOn In linril Inmcolf i-t il h I iO, i 111, I II PO-ll an nndUniited title tri the expressive r.ame k,.. . .,,,1 T tin nnlu hnna in lii Pvilp. RnmH slrav 'newnpcr ma v'be wrecked within reneh. that he may come to Know uie present heartfelt, lament of m, Doeiicks. I have ever tried, O migli'y Damphool, forgive thy faults and overlook thy frailties have insinuated that thou wert selfish even unto meanness "iuiea abe7" some have said that thou wert lazy, but such never seen thee eat. That thou wert foppish to a degree! I could forgive thy Shanghai coats, thy two acre turn down collars, and ' r' ........ . i . . pantaloons so tight that inoit nansi 10 them on with boot hooks; thy gorgeous cravat; wilhita bow projecting on either Side like silken wing; thy lemon colored kids; thy cam- shawl, which made tnee resemble a hall breed Scotchman. I con . overtook me nnnruinui"' ion .i man. i v u i.ir.i unmeaning prose, wr.n oyspepno fuiiipioiiua, of hard fortune, or minous repining? m tot, and all the senseless an iness wmu ..,., dst inscribe therein. 1 could em.ure ine Ue.taA nn thnn didst assume belore the r - . boarders, that they might think and call Poet; the abstracted air, the appearance of inglos: in thought and the sudden recovery thy truant wits wun a tpasmou 0 awri affection, ho constant to thy first shirt collar loose at the neck, and turned manticaiiy uown over ine cum,- mc .ui.y brushed back behind thy nolicable ears, show thy "marble forehead." co.mir that self appreciation of persona charms made thee certain all you ng J' e e s onto matrimony with thy. facmal ;ins. prhruIwortihourtin -p fried oysters; and how attentive to choice of thy maturer judgment boiled key, with celery. How unwavering m economy, never parting witht dime in charity, in' generosity, or in friendly gift; but only the same for a full equivalent in wherewithal to decorate the outer man, orgrat ifv tha inner ind ividual. How consistent thy devotion to music and the drama; attending the opera or theatre whenever rriepdt would buy tbee tickets. tn intense appreciation hdt thou of literature always going fast aaleep over anything substantial than the morning ptpr. fashionably tincera in al by mofetslooi ....... ' V . piety, attending church on Sunday, reading the responses when they could be easily found and sleeping through the seinTOn with as much respectability as any church member of them all; truly, most estimable Damphool, 1 shall greatly miss 'by intermittent religion. How lovely wert thou In disposition; how amiable in manners; with -what an affection tv ata air couldst thou kick the match boy out .1 1 . 1. - I".L1!. iiinrs, box ine ears ot ine nine canny gin, nnu , tell the more sturdy apple womon lo go to the ! devil. With what a charitable look couldst thou lisien to trie lair or me snivcnng rn-gzar child, could see the Dare blue leet, ana view the scanty dress, while thy generous band closed with a lighter grasp upon the cherished pennies in thy p cket. Anatomically speak then.. ine. friend Damphool, I suppose thou baJst a heart; emotionally, not a trace of one; the I feeble ftrticle thatserved thee in that capacity! knew no more of generous thnughtsnml noble i impules Ihnn a Shanghai pullet knows of the opera of Xorma. Go, immerse thyself in that Western town where like the rest who dwell therein, thy abilities will be undeveloped, thy talents will j b veiled, thy energies Hist out, and thou wilt heenme, line them, a perambulating, passive, perpetual sacrifice to the lazy gods of Sloth and Sanctity. I shall mourn thy taper legs ; T shall lament thy excrutiatiiig neck-tie; I shall weep that last coat that did so very long a tail Unfold; I shall sorrow for Ihy unctuous hair,' and grieve for thy perfumed whiskers; I shall look in vain forthy polished bootsand jewelled hands; I shall miss thy intellectual countenance, ra diant with innocent imbecility ; and I shall lose my daily meditation upon thy precarious frailtv ofthose intiineible legs. But, ancient friend, when hereafter, all the rustic maidens have yielded their hearts before thy capiivnting charms ; alien thy manly beauty is fully appreciated and Ihy intellectual endowments acknowledged by the world, deign to cast one condescending glance downward toward :hv former friend nnd perpetual ndnii rer, nnd give oiys gracious thought of kind re membrance to sorrowing, disconsolate me, Doe slicks, Damphool thou art superlative there is none greater. Farewell ! Henceforth friend- ! shin tome is but a name, and I survive my i bereavement only to concentrate my affection? nnil..rAni, iil.iel.-r0 fiumnntlit7P II 11,11 Illy riiii'i.vun. iii..i.ti-- ' . with me, Mr. Editor, and I remain, yours hi consoluble, till the bell rings for dinner. o Q. K. PHILANDER DOESTICKS, P. B. :Doing a Dun. "I have a small bill against you," said a pertinacious looking customer, as he entered the store of one who had acquired Ihe charac ter of a hard customer. "Yes, sir, a very fine day indeed," was the reply "I am not speaking of the weather but your bill," replied Peter in a louder key. "It would be better if we had a little rain." "Confound the rain," continued the collec a to tor, raisi nu his voice ! I "Have vou any money to pay on five bill?" "Beg your pardon, I'm hard of hearing. I so i have made it a rule not to loan my funds to strangers, and I really d.in't recognize you. "I'm collector for "the Philadelphia Daily to Extinguisher," sir, anil I have a bill against yon," persisted the collector at the top of his at voice, producing a bill, and thruiting it into I the face of the debtor. ' -'I've determined to endorse for nogne; you may put that note back mi your pocset book A . I really cun t endorse it.' in the "Confound the endorsement will you pay it." "You'll pay it, no doubt, sir, but '.here's al ways a risk about these matters, you know, so I must decline it." "The money must be mine to day." "Oh, yes ninety davs, but I would not en dorse you for n week, so clear out of my store It's seldom that I'm pressed upon tornnen 'doMemeiit even by my friends; on the part of i a straiuer, sir, your conduct is inexplicable Do not force me to put you out; lenve the premises." Ihe! Thtliil was retnrnen to Ihe "Extinguisher" ' office endorsed "so confounded deaf that he couldn't understand." be I O'Sitting on the piazzia of the Cataract was a young, foppish looking gentlemen, hi 1 garments were lightly scented with musk and cologne. A solemn-faced, old -looking man ,n. 1 after pas.ung the dandy several tunes, wnn look ofaverioii trnt drew general notice, sud ........ . ., .:,.. ..c,l...,,:l re- : UCIIIV SlU OICU, UIIU. williutuuiiuir.ill.il imic V 60 III I he I "Stranger, I know what'li take that scent ' out of your clothes: you his I "What! what do you mean, sir ?" said the :m unnc. .' - im ..iii.s.iu...,, ...... ...t i irom nis conir. 101 "uei uinu, now 5cnr, imun mum,, nm, ! just because a rsan wants to do you a liiud Some ness !" cooly replied Ihe Urniige. "Hut , ieu you i uo unow wom u umom i,i nucu have pnewi you jusi ouryyuureiuiMei, umy nn ' a duy or two. Uncle Josh got foul of askunk, j and he " thy At this instant there went tip rrom thecrowd ll - nf ninirirtiani nn.l tlm pun,!, suiniinncuii" ium m " dandy "yerv sensibly," "cleared the coop; a; and v.unsiieu up siairs.. .h-jM.n,ly heen built in Da- -i' -u. , ,, , ., i "The chewen of tobacco are earnestly re- L1I my .nnll in anj heln ,0 holler. ;f vol, . , , . , - , coat wj beat nur, ai-1 ,.. - , esc)Bmation of lauy . , ...... . hn i vrnwn p nni on encr. i im iiil-ich- tnee ; , Avenue wU) fl flvJ ghil,. be- , 'anJ 3 hiJ W(lj,oa. Bub diuas of - . circumventei, .,,, we cannot sa. as iust here love ! ?-u the nexv "' ... .' i-i....- . ...in. n... l- r ..n.. . , to jsSht 1,1 0 jj: and went out p-We thought we had henrd of a good many '"; in our time, but there is a young m'1" ?ar(ly irSchenectady, that beats our lime con ten S1B eot marriej ,,,.. ni,Mi the Tur-. thy dis bursing the in always. teu eront What more "taking liberties with her." Our hat is at disposal of the put person that calls." BTA man being commiserated on account his wiffe running away said ! ' "Don't pily me till she comes back again.'' IJTA lady was dreadfully affronted the day, because 1 gentleman accosted her st old acquaintance. JTltisinid that a pair ef pretty e?M the beat mirror for a man to share by. 'Zack- How ly to, and it it unquestionably,. tha cose of many a man has beep shaved by them. ' ; ; - . . -'4t WOULD GO ANYHOW. A most ludicrous affair lately nncured at one of the coilntry fairs in a neighboring State. There bad beennn accommodation train placed upon the railroad passing the village situated near to the fair grounds, the rates of fair upon which had been reduced to just one half the price charged nn the regular train. Theac commndation train left at 8 A. M., each dny. a. was expecteu, on me evenins oi ;ne lasi ,ay of Ihe fair, a lane crowd had collected ',. the platform near the Depot, awaiting the nrrival ol the regular r-xpre train, expecting to get passage thereon, to their different pla ces of destination. At length a whistlewas heard in the dis tance, and amid fire and smnlse, the long train aimeared in view. Many of the crowd had (,etn waiting for hours, and at that late period ere almost overcome with weariness, hut at the welcome sound thry roused them- selves and swarmed on the platform l.ke bees. The eye of the Conductor, he having had some difficulty with a like crowd the night before, took ill ata single view the whole ui lemma in which he was placed. He certainly mlisi stop, and he knew that in an instant the entire train would be beseiged by applications for passage. 1 he cars were already crowded to their utmost capacity, and, as to receiving any more passengers, he knew it to be impos sible. It was t'ust as he expected, the wheels hard ly ceased revolving, before pell-mell came the whole crowd, scrambling, tearing, pulling, hauling upon the p atlorms, each one an1 ious to get within slid secure a good eat. They found the door locked however, and well guarded by the conductor and his assistants It was in vain lhat be explained to tliein that he could not carry them, that the cars were already crowded, they would lisien to nothing, they wanted to go, so they would. They crowded the platform, they clung to the steps and hung to the windows. 1 1 is time wn; up, and he had nospice to tarry-but ji mattered not lo the crowd, thev had got a font-hold and were bound to go. h mattered not how inse cure the position, if their limbs were damage or their lives jeopardised, the coiiipuuy was able to pay, and they hum! on. The bell rung, the winstie sou men, uui btire no warning to them. The poor conducl tor looked puzzled, and swoe l:iu.w what to lo. If Ihe train moved tome lives must tie lost, and to remain longer where he was he could not. He entreated, told them another. train would be along, but the crowd heeded them not, they were determined to go nn tlmt train. At length an idea broke upon him. l"ron the switch near him, were three empty cars belonging lo he accommodation train. "Gentlemen, said he, "il I must, 1 suppose I must." He then went and examined the wheels the empty Irain and fun ml them in order. ".Now," said lie, "all who want to go, gel into Ihe two front cars of this train." Away went the crowd, tumbling over each other, screaming, laughing and hoonng; and in less than a rjinute the two enrs was filled to their full extent by the 'homeward bound.' Each had secured a good seat und were con nr.nulal'isg each other as to what their perse verance had gained for Iheui, and solacing themselves with the prospect of a speedj journey Those nearest the windows bad ad- justed them, in order to allow a free circula- lion of air, am; carpel bags and vanses were Mowed snualy away under the seats. Per- haps a better contented company had never gol into so small a compass before, for they! were bound to go home, and here was a lair Chance of doing so. In a few minutes they . . . . :. ....... .... r... .,..'. W0IIK1 lie 111 IliUilUli; U ll Ui uio ahead to the switch, they would soon hitch on. and then away. The conductor had mounted his train, and the engineer was at his post. "Are yoti all aboaidgtiuleaien?" asked conductor, "Yes' sir !" cried a hundred voices. "Then, geiitkmen, J wish you good niht, and a pleasant journey home." The whistle sounded, and the bell rang.and away went the train at ihe rate of aucul twenty miles an hour. A dead silence reigned throughout the cars for almost a minute, when a large, hurley red whiskered man straightened himself and said : "Gentlemen, in my opinion, we have been very cheaply 'sold.' He has gone away and left us. So he had, and a fiercer crowd of men was never seen in that rtgion before. They swore and stamped, and tore, and cursed all railroads that ever were built. It was this con ductor did not go over lhat toa I again lhat night, for he would most likely have found a "hard road to travel." At length with better nmsnect In-fore them, the crowd dis persed to the different hotels and caroused remainder of the" night away. Ductl.man. Is Anybody Looking for Me. red flannel wamniusses they are generally any thing but green, nnd he who picks one up for a fool had better take care or he will have to drop him with burnt fir gers. Here is a case in point : A parly of Louisville bloods were standing on the forward hurricane deck of a steamboat bound for St. Loiiis.and were watching to be guile the time, ere the "last bell rung," th? varied scenes of the levee. A man who look ed as though be might be a country conr.t law yer frnm the "rural districts," attracted their nnrticular nt'.eniioiis, and one of the crowd suggested that some .fun might be had out him. "ne more aspiring 111011 me :csi teered to "try it on," and going on shore, he approached Ihe stranger, who was evident ly in deep cogitation and entirely unaware that any one bad noticed him. The "blood" walked quietly up to the "green 'nn," and slapping him on the Bhoul der exelnimed, "So I've fouml yon at last, pave I f you ore the rr.an I've been looking for." "I be, eh?" said "greeny" not all(distutred. "Yes, I've been looking for you all day." At the same lime winking to those who were waiting to see tbe joke. The itreen one raised his arm and with nnwerful blow knocked the enterprising voung nan prostrate, and turning around shouted nut. 'Slnnbt thrre'i tome on men ore done fir," mid in spite of biifer-nut panUand out, "Maybe thrre'i tome one else lookng tur me; iflhn n am ttmtmg to be Jouna ."' It is unnecessary to say that the "right search" was at once relinquished by the Tiloods, who Irom the steamer's deck had seen how much "fun" was to be made out of green one. ' rrSince Heaven must have its opposite, Hell, mankind should not grumble that they are troubled with lawyers. rrThough your neighbor tike nurTyou nhoulrt not call them snuffers. It is placing there in a small light. From Eliza Cook's Journal. DIAMOND DUST. Poverty is like a panther look ilsleadilyin the face, and i! will turn from you. An honest man is believed without an oalh, for his reputation swears for him. Who can tell the value of a smile ? It costs the giver nothing, but is beyond price to the erring and repenting, the sad nnd cheerless, the lost and forsaken. Men. contrary to iron, are worse to be wrought upon when thev are hot; and are far more tract ioable in cold blood. I would not be a woman, (says Jean Paul Richter,) for then I could not love her. Be not affronted at a lest. If one throws sal! at 'bee, Ihon wilt receive no harm, unless thou hat sore places. Right and duty are like two palm trees which bear, fruit onlj when growing side by side. Actions are the onlv properly of a man. when he is valued as to his social worth in the world. Self conceit and ignorance are twin broth ers; the empty bend is usually the noisiest, for it depends on that for making know n its existence. A mountain is mode up uf atoms.nnd friend ship of little matters, and, if the atoms hold not together, the mountain is crumbled into dust. A consoling friend is the greatest enemy in sorrow. We generally wake up sorrow, by asking if it is not asleep now. Each of us bears within himself a world un known to his f.llow-beings, and each may relate of himself a history resembling that of every one, yet like that of no one. Nothing is more diverting than to see men. for whom we have n well-gr unded contempt, affect lo contemn for us. Lileralure, properly directed, is, as much as Legislature, Oe guardian of public morals. No wonder we love dRguised flattery, when we love it even when it is known. He that pays beforehand is served behind hand. Suggestion advice given by a tervunt lo his master. TEARS of Tears nro the saddest, and funniest M ines in the world. There are ii great variety of tears. wonu. j lit ic flic il-i mini. We weep because we are happy, and because we are miserable; when we are an gry for spile, and olten have a coo l quiet cry fur nothing but because we leel 1 1 lit? u. hen we h-ar that a long absent friend is dead, we give vent loour anguish intears.nnd if he returns unexpectedly nnd inlMties the mournful statement we weep lor joy, because he is olive. When a:iv of our brothers or sis ters are rr.arried, with streaming eves and downcast faces, we wish them all possible hap piness.and the newly wedded pair in a deluge of fait water, vehemently protest that they are perfectly so. We get in a tearing rage at tome imaginary slight or injury, and after boiling and foaming, and vowing all sorts of vengeance, cool off with a passion of tears. When we discover our mistake, and mutual apologies are exchan ged, we melt into tears of sorrow and contri tion, and think we hive acted a very absurd and ridiculous part. Ii we meet a sorrow-bowed mourner we mingle rears wnn mens in vui.uiiiy, aim we are in a merry gathering where laughter and song hold sway, we join in ine joyou me- lee til! tbe fun drops come rolling over our cbeeus. We often get mortified, ond the tears will , .n pii. ii m, n nn ,-iiftria in renrps ,. unn. iu rinv ui mil them, and when we get through crying we ; we-p over again, because we were so extreme-1 the two Uj. y foolish as t- weep in the first ph.ee. All along lile s journey, irom me ciame 10 the grave, our paths are placed alternately with smiles and tears, ro'es and r horns. think one day when our sun is behind a cloud that this is a very dismal humdrum sort of world, and gloomily, tenrlully, wish we had our lot cast in some other. The next, as the s ilver lining rolls over.and shedsjoyand sunlight around us, we think after nll,tings are not so bad as they might and with mingled laughter and weeping, ex press our gratitude for many blessings. The Experiences of a Bachelor. for to on be guile th? their I never knew a baby cry consecutively for two hours, but it was "generaliv the quietest 1 ii,,u ,.n a t,e world." j nn-er'wauted a little gruel, or something hot. for mv supper, but that the kitchen fire had always "just gone out." l never inquired at a circulating library n particular book, but thai they "expected in directly." I ntver went in a violent hurry to the City, but some of the streels were sure to be block- J I never knew, or saw.anythine more of any umbrella I had accidently left behind me. I never knew a borne that was said to it no the "playful," that didn't kick; and it is the . - i.:i.l same aai a inuu. I never knew a married couple who "my- loved." nnd "mv-deared," and my-ducked" one another to a fu Notr.e extent in public.who didn't quarrel in private. 1 never knew a man receive "private infor- matinii" for a race, but he was sure to lose belling upon it. I never knew a lady, who said she would only lake "five minutes" to put on her bonnet who really took them 1 never knew a tradesman to bother me money, but he had "a little bill to make up." Poor Boy College. the ore were a voung tur o( The Printing Office has indeed proved a bet ter College to many a poor boy, has graduated mure useful and conspicuous menbeis of socie ty, has brought more intellect and turned it to practical, useful channels, awakened more mind, generated mora active and elevated thought, thnn many ot the nierary uoiieges the con nlry. How many a dunce has passed through these colleges with no tangible proof of fitness other than his innnimate piece parchment; himself, if possible, m re inanimate than his elather diploma! There is something in the veiy atmosphere of a printing office cal culated to awaken the mind inspire a thirst for knowledge. A bov who commences such a school, will have his talents and ideas brought out; if he has no mind to draw out, boy himself will be driven out. Jf. Y. Globe. the seen of a they TTThe Charlottesville (Virginia) Jefferson mil, says a young lady in that place has a pigeon, which dances very gracefully when ever she plays on the hnp.and when the ceases, it will jump up and pull the strings itself. (-Western fellows are great people. have Just heard of a judge to ant ious to rid settlement 01 suspicious characters that committed himself, Rates of Advertising. One square, (or less) 3 insertions, lit " hacB additional inrtiiioii, Three months, - - - 3.CO " Six months, 6,CO ' Twelve months, - - - 8,i 0 One fourth of t column per year, 15,00 i Ju.lf .. 1B.UW i coi,nn ' 30,00 All over a square charged a. twr qnirei. Uj'Adverliseman't inserted tillforuii Mlt expense of the advertiser, JOB WORK Executed at this Office with neatnesa ttd despatch, at the lowest possible ratti. Heating the Poker. Aftt r the newt of the destruction of the stamped papns had arrived in Eng and, the miwstrv sent for Dr. Franklin to consult with and offered this proposal : 'That if the Americans would engage to pay for the damage done in the destruction of the stamped paper, fc , the parliament would then repeal the act." The doctor having paused upon this (iues tiou for some time, at last answered as fol lows : "This puts me in mind of a Frenchman, who having heated a poker red hot, r-m furi ously into the street, and addressed the first Englishman he met there, "Ha, Monsieur.will you give mede' satisfaction tn run Ibis poker only one foot into your body 1" "My bodyf" replied the englishman, "wnai do ywi mean ? "Vcl den, only say so far," marking out six inches. "Are you mad?" returned the other; "If you don't go about your business, I'll knock you down." "Vel, den," said the Frenchman, softening his voice nnd manner, "vil you my good site, be so obliging us to pnv me for the trouble and expense oi heating this poker ?" Old Blucher. When Old Bluchtr was in England, he was invited to Oxford to have a doctor's degree ennfered upon him. The tierce dragoon was as much amused as delighted at tbe idea of the honor, nnd introducing another Prussian General, who had been bis right hand man in nil his campaigns, observed", in lnoken Kng lish, tn the vice chancellor, "Sir, if I am a doctor, this is my apothecary." But the veteran made a better hit than that before the dav was over. At on evening party giv en on the occasion, among others present was a young lady, of whom it was sometimes whispered that she d id not belong to a tem perance society. We daresay tins was malice but on this evening it did unfortunately hap pen that rhe was in very high spirits. "Who is that lailv ?" said l!!ueher, fixing bis eyes upon her. ' "That is Miss Sparkle, Ihe daugh ter of one ofour canons." was ihe answer; at which ihe shocking old Field Marshal 'roared forth with a thundering laugh. ' A eanrm't daughter! P,v Jove I thought so, she iookp I ii u i so very wel Ijtharg. edj thgrop e. j h i -- ..., I, cm i v.ai,, mi" n- v..-... vnn Jnw ymir wif drowning what letter O From the foreign items in the rew orK Evening Post, we copy the following conun drums for the amusement of the young read ers of the Eaton Democrat i Hengler, of the Exeter Circus, nttracied a large audience recently by the promise of a prise of a silver goblet to the author of the btst conundrum. Shortly before ten o'clock a platform was. introduced for the literary part of the entertainment, which Hengler mounted having n bundle of conundrums tn lusnanu. With the conundrums was a variety of enig mas nnd charades, but these were laid aside. The audience wre to decide the merits of the) different conundrum, am', in order that their task might be as easy as possible, Hengler di vided the conundrums in'owhat he conndered hiil and pnotl. Among those pronouncedly him as bnd were the following: Why is the prise tn be offered by Mr. C. Hengler like a treaty stated to be offered to the Emperor of Russia 1 Because it was madti fjr fivt socrrngni. Why should the allies and the Russian Em send an armv of tailors to Sevasto- noi ? n..-c:nise one can wile brraelirt in the t jn ))(; a!p.,alie't would you name ?-Let her-bt. , ,T, nl,,;S exhibited ngus ol displeasure at e a be the cruel answcr.1 When one lady kises another, -what com mand of Scripture does she fulfill f I do unto others as I would that men would do unto me. What is the most difficult operation that n surgeon can perform , Taking the jaic out of a woman. Arcordinc to Ileng'er't discrimination, the following were ihe go d conundrums j a, js ,,)e (iirrerPnc between a bottle of doctor's pl-vsic and the Emperor of Russia i 'n. m... rp,'niir s 10 be first well shaken nnd ' ,i, ii.,i hut the other requires to be first . 1;e, ail then well shaken. i . , , , T . , i What is the trade ol fa Lancaster funerT- ror hrteeh 1 maker to her Majesty, it I ; a schoolmaster like a cbairmaker? ' Because he canes bottoms. I , , , . .... , Why wdl England neve, be in debt to Rus e ! sia ? Mcci'ie whenever rlmrpri are brought t against us we return them with interest, j if n person falls into the water at Cowley be r5rj,!ge, how wet will he be? Wet in the Lxi stream. 1 I ... . ... , . . . Why is the British army like a ooking-glassT i Uccaflse it cannoi ue uroicn mi uc- Jstroyed. Whv is a weary night traveller in Gloncet- HlP w;ound soldiers at Scutari? Because he is cheered by Ihe presence 01 ine Jfightingale. Why is the circus to-night like a marriage feast? Because the enjoyment of the ring pledged in a goblet, results in a bumper. Whv did the Alderman and Town Council of Exeter re-elect John Daw, Esq., as mayor' Because it is uual in Cathedral towns lor a jack ) to ocoupy Ihe highest petition. The conundrums having been read, Hengler inquired of the audience what one they had selected, upon which a general cry of "Jack. Daw" arose, and it was considered that to the author of that connnndrum the cup would be awarded. When the uproar had ceased, how. ever, a solitary voice sung out, "The Nightin gale." This was caught up by others, and in a few moments "The Nightingale" was heard in every partof the honse. This was then de clared the best connundtum, and the author a young man named Jewell, entered the nug from the gallery seats and received the goblet amidst enthusiastic cheering. in for in 01 of in the pet mu sic harp W hit he O-They tell a good story of a verdant mem ber of the Massachusetts Legislature, who ar riving late on the first day of the session, rushed into the Representative's Hall, hurried to the Speaker, and astonished him wun this ralutation : "Mr. Speaker, good morning, how de do? Rather late, missed Ihe cars! t wish you would show me up to my room, right off.,' If An urchin being sent for a eent'a worth of Maccaboy snuff, forgot the nsmeof the ar ticle, and tsktd the man for a cenl't worth of rcike-i.by'tneete.