Eaton Democrat. [volume], March 20, 1856, Image 1

About Eaton Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1843-1856

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Rates of Advertising.
Ont .uar(orle4s) 3 insertions, l:GO
u-.'-.a . Esobadditionaliaterlion,' 26
" Three mouths,
3:00
" . -' "Six months. . -
..m o. Twelve months,
9ne fourth of column pet year,
;klf " ' " -.
column '
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30:00
Jail otera SyutreChargtdas twosquares.
gTAarrertisements inserted till forbid at
ljaaaxpniao(trieadvettisr,Ul
JOB WORK
I3xeeated etthii office with neatnm end !e
ijwtch, at the loweet.poisible rates. ' . .'
JOB WORK POETICAL.
MARCH.
MARCH. BY WILLIAM C. BRYANT
'.Tbe stflnn rnarch is come at last,
With wind, and cloud, end. changing aklos,
jlboor the nulling of the libit.
That thsough the taafj vullcy flics.
uh, pasting few ere than who apeak, ,
: Wildatormy month, in praise otiheet . ,
i3Tet, though thy wiudaare loud and bleak, .;
IltOtt art welcome owuth to me., , . ,
, Cor thou to northern lands again -.
The ((lad and glorioat sun aoat bring,
.And tutui haet joined tlu goMla train.
And wear'st tuefcutla minus tfpriug . .
And, m thy reign of blast and storm. "' .
Smiles many a loop, bright, sunuy dnjrv -UYeen
the changed winds aresott and watm,
And hearen puts on the ainile of Way. ...
'.Theft ing aloud the gushing rills,
'' And the lull spring from frost sot'free, '
'Shit brightly leaping down the bills, ' .'
Are jiut act out to meet the we .
'.The year's departing beauty hides
01 wintry storms, the sudden threat;
. But in thy sternest frown abide .
A look of kindly promise yet. 1
' Thou bring'at the hope of those cr.hu kicJ,
And thiit soft time of gunny sbf,wcrs, -.
When the wide bloom on earth thr.t lic-, ' '
" Seem like a brighter world thuti our. '' -
Miscellaneous
The Deaf Aunt and the Deaf Wife.
' I had en aunt coming to visit me ff the first
time, uince my marriage, end I don't know
what evil getnous p omptol il.e wickedness
vivhith I perpetrated towards my wife and my
ancient relative.
My dear said I to my wife, on the day be
fore my aunt's arrival, 'yon know aunt Mar)
,is coming to-ifiorfuw; well 1 forgot, to mention
.a rather annoying rircumsau.e in r gard to
,her. She is vt ry deaf; althuu,4h die can hear
.JJiy voice, to hich flic is nrcuxtomed, in its
cr'iiriory tones, yet yon will be ohliijed
apeak extremely loud in older to be heard
It will l e miner Inconvenient, :but I know you
will doeverythiiijin your power to make her
.Itey ngreeuble.'
Mrs. S. announced her determination to
make herself hesnl, if posbilile.
I then-went to John T - ,, who loved
joke about na well as any person I know of,
end told him to le at the house at six p. m.
.on the following evening, add felt compara
tively happy. t
I went to the railroad 'epnt with a carriage
.11' night and when 1 was on my way home
wrtb tny aunU I said:' ' '
'My dear aunt, there is one mlher annoying
'Milttrinliy that Anna (his wife) has, thai 1 for
t .got tomer.tion. " She's very denT, and although,
slie can hear my voice to which she is accus
:tf)inod, In its orlinary tones, yet you will be
obliged to speak extremely loud in order to be
hvard. I aoi.veryswrry for it.r
Aunt Mary, in the goodness of her bear
pro'e.ited that she rn:et liked fpenhiiif; loud,
ami to do So wcnld afford her great pleasure.
The carriage drove up; on the steps was my
wife, tn the window was John T , with
a face as utterly 6olemras if he had buiied ail
bit relatives ihnt afternuen. . '
1 handed ou I my a n nt .she r.scemVd I hei'teps
Mam dt-lighud 'o ee you,' shrifk.-it m)
wife; and the policeman on the opposite side
walk started and mj aunt nearly fell dqwn
;the aiep, '
'Kiss me, my den r,' howled my aunt, and
tlie hall lamp tlal'.ernd and the windows shook
with fneerand ague. I looked at the win
dow, John had disuppe.irid. Human nature
cpnlil stand it no longer. I poked my head
into the carriage and went in:o strong couvul
aions. 'Suddenly, 'Did .you have a pleasant lour-
itiey?'' went elf wiih my wife like a pistol, and-
.John nearly jumped: to. hit teet.
' 'Rather dusty,' was the -response, m a war
,wh"op, and so the conversation continued.
?rThe neighbors It r bloeks around must have
beard it. When i waji in IJie third story uf
Itte buildinji. I heard everywoni.
i In the courje r.f the vening,.my aunt took
occasion to talk to me
- -Hoir I olid your wife speaks.. Don't'il hutt
h'M'f
t toll ber!ldeaf persons talked loudly,
' end that my wife, being used lo It, was noi
;aflVc'ed by the exeriion, and that Aunt Mary
ivas jettinit along veiy nicely with her. I'res
" eiilly my wife said aofily
'All, bow very loudly your aunt talks.
' Yes,' aaid I, 'all deaf persons do.'
' 'You are getting along with her finely; she
vljear every word on say.'
And I rather think she ilid,
Elated at their sncctn of being understood,
they went nt it hummer and tongs till every,
thing on the mantle piece, clattered again, and
,1 was seriously atraid of a crowd collecting in
the front af the house. But the end was near.
, My aunt being, of an investigative turn of
mirtd, was desirous of finding out whether the
.exertion of talking to loud was, not injuiious
to my wife: So . " ''
.'Doesn't talking so loud strain your lungs?'
.-said she in an unearthly whoop, for her voice
ws not as musical as it was when she was
.young, , .
t l is ari exertion,' shrieked my wife,
Then why do you da it?' was the answer
ting scream. . .
Because because you can't bear lf I
.don't,' squealed my wife.
''What?' said my annt, fairly rivaling a
.ililfoaJ whisile this lime.
I been n to think it lime to evacuate the
premises,' and looking round and seeing John
gone, I stepped into the back pnrlor and there
he lay, flat on bis back, wi'h his fists poked
into kis ribs and'a most agonizing expression
or countenance, out rxt uttering a sound. . 1
immediately and involuntarily assumed a simi
lar attitude, hiid 1 think that, from therein
tiro position of onr fret arid head, and our at-
teanpta to retrnin our laighief, apoplexy must
have inevitably enmed, ir a horrible groan
which John pnve vent to in his endeavor to
aitpprees his risibility, had not betrayed our
biding place.
In rushes my wife and aunt, who by this
lime, comprehended the Joke, and auen a
aoolding as I then got I never get before, and
hooe never to get again.
.1 know not what the end would have been
If John, in hh eatlesrors to appear resnectrul
and aympithetie, had not given vent to such
a groan sad a tmiso langls that all gravity
was unset, and we scre.ime I ont in a concert
I know it was very wrong, and all that to
Ullsuoh falsehoods, but I think Mrs. Opie
herself woild have laughed u she had teen
Aunt Mary's expression when she was iqformett
that hot hearing was defective.
I
31,
i ,n v.
BY L. G. GOULD.
'Tearless and Fxee.'
$l,50per Annum InAdvanco,
Ncir Series;
E.lTON-i PREBLE COUNTY; O.XAKCH 20, 1856
Tol.I2.No.39.
mm m tt&-M v .
The Deaf Aunt and the Deaf Wife. WOMEN AT HOME.
It may be only a fancy of ours." tays
Mrs. Rirkland, in. one of her admirable es
snys, ."thai Providence has so decidtdly filled
woman for household cares, (hat she it never
truly and healthy happy without them; but
if it be fancy, it lis one which much obser
vation bad-confirmed."
We. commend these words to serious consid
eration. The general bad health of females,
in what are called th respectable classes is
a subject that we have often .referred. to for
it is one that ailecls.not the happiness or fam
ilies meiely,,bul the weal of the whole com
munity; not future one alao; Physicians tell
us that not one lady in ten, in a great city, en
joystobusl health.. Mr. Kit k laud, wesuspect,
has explained the Cuute. ' It Is certain &al
women eenernll-, who are not compelled tn
labor for a livelihood directly, nee lect exercise
almost entirely, and hence . lung on them
selves dyspepsia, netvous Cisordjrs, and other
diseases. To perform bouse wor is too fre
uueutly considered degrading. Even where
the mother, Jn obedience to the traditions of
her youth, condescends .occasionally to labor,
the daughters are brought up in perfect idle
ness, take no bodily exercise except that of
walking in .fine .weather, or riding tn cushion
ad carriages, or dancing at a party. Those,
in abort, who can afford servants; cannot de
mean themselves, as Lhey think, bv.domestic
labcr. To make up a bed is regarded often
as exhausting beyond description; to sweep a
carpet is viewed as worse than field work in a
cane field; i'. liUe to scrub alas I modern
feminine language., copious as it is, has no
words to characterize this inhuman and cruel
ia.sk. . The result is, that all such lose what
little health they started life wilb, becoming
feeble in exact proportion as they become
fashionable.
In Hi is neglect of household cares American
females stand alone. A German lady no mat
ter how lofty her rank never forgets that do
mestic labors Conduce to the health of body
and mind alike. An English lady, whether
he be a gentleman's wife or a duke's does
not despite her lioutehi'ld, and even ihough
she has a housekeeper, davotta a portion ol
her lime to i his, her true, her happiest sphere,
ll is reserved for our republican fine ladies lo
he more choice than even their monarchical
and arisiocralic sisters. The result is a lasi
lude of mind oflenas fatal to I he health aa Ihe
neglect of bodily exercise. The wife who
leaves her household cares o tier servants pays
the penalty which hat been i (fixed lo idleness
since Ihe foundation of the world, and either
wilts awav from sheer ennui, or is driven i to
all sorts of fashionuble 'ollies lo.fiod employ
ment for her mind. If she does .not lounge on
the sofa, readihi novels all day, end gro,ng
paler and more nervous every year; if she
does not weaken her chest, and injure her
eyes by atoopirg over crotchet work, or em
broidery, she drives about shonping, or visits
for the purpose uf gossip, or sleeps till noon to
recover from the fa'igues or the Jasl night
ball; in a .word, in one weyol another She
injures her lies lift most fatally. "' '
Aleii hiid occupation in business, in litera
ture, or in a profession; and an idle man it
proverbially consideied in peiil of soul and
b'ldy. How is it that women act so univer
sally os if they were exemplei from the evils
f Indolence f Waul of occupation rarely
leads tlitm into (jrr.at vices, and therefore Iht y
funcy it does not injure t lit in nt nil. But
alas I there are small vices into which tco
many fine ladies fall, such as backbiting, en
viousness, and gossippiiig gener illy, which, if
they ate not as gross as the fins, of idle men,
are bad enough. If household cares were
more generally n!tended lo, we should see but
little of these evils, and Women in good soci-
eiy would be much happier, and much more
duly luveable. 1 his is plain speakini!; bul
the truth must ouf. It is not the fashionable
gadabout, who lives on false excitement, Ih t
wins or retains the loeof a man of real worth.
A thousand limes deorer is she who, like Ihe
w ife of Wordsworth has immortalized, does
not consider domestic cares beneath her:
"I saw hor, on a nearer view,
A spirit, yet a woiein too;
;Her household motions liht and free;
Aud steps of Vir;iu liberty "
We fear, however, that it will lake more
than this or all the journals of the nation, to
remove this cancer ot social lite, nut the
press can, at lest, do something. While so
many of the evils under which the sex sulfei
and otlitr feminine assembles, here is one that
women has brought on herself, and to which
we call her attention.
The Baker's Parrot.
The subjoined incident is sent to us by a
correspondent, as relaled by a Virginia negro.
If it is true, Ihe patrot is ceriamly a remarka
ble bird: You see,' said he, Mis parrot belong
ed to a baker in Richmond. Now, each baker
is lowed to make a certain number of loaves
eberyday, and no more, 'cordid' to how many
customers he got; cause if dev bake too much
dey will be serving out slale breinl to do cus
tomers. Hell, dis baker bake more n his share
one day and hidde rest of em anderde counter
De parrot was haogin in cage an seed it all.
Bimeby in cornea the inspector and finds de
bread all right and is go in' ourt again satisfied
when de pairot Cocks his eye at turn and sings
out.
'Dere'a more bread under de counter!' So
de inspector grabs, 'corliit to law and carries
them off. Well, den de baker .goes lo de par
rot werrv mad and lakes him by de head aid
fotcbes him atwitch or two and flings him into
de getter for dead, 'long sideoba pig just deed
ob de measles. Kimeby de parrot begins to
crawl about his feathers stick ill out, and his
head lopped on one skle, andden he stops and
looks a', tie pig, wery pitiful, and ses he, 'Did
you say any thing about de bread.'
Young Men.
Most young men consider it a great snisfor
tune to be poor, or not to have capital enough
to establish themselves at their out Set in life,
in business. So far from poverty being a mis
fortune to him, if we may judge from what we
every day behold, it is really a blessing; the
chance is more than ten to one in favor of the
success ofsuch a young man, over one with
plenty of money. Let one look back twenty
yeara ondsea who commenced business at thai
time with abundant means and ways; how
many can boast of wealth and standing? . On
the contrary, how many have become poor,
lost their place in society, and are passed by
their own boon companions with a Jpok
which-painfuliy says 1 know you not.
. i. - . i . .1 1., i, ,
tjTA miserly church member becoming ex
cited by a sudden burst of eloquence. from the
minister, clapped his hands and shouted out:
"Thnnk God for a fre (Kspl 1 Twenty five
years have I been a t kurch member, and
has not cott .me a many coppers 1" " And
may the Lord forgive your atingy ..Si.nl!". ex
claimed the minister.
The New Year's Night of the Unhappy.
. An old man stood'ln the New Year's mid
night, at his window, and looked with the eya
or a longuispair, up to the immovable i alwaya
o looming nivy, mm uuwn on lue sun, pure,
whi'e earth, on winch -flew there was no one
so. joyless end sleepless as he. Then his
grave drew near t him; it was only conceal-!
cu vf utr miuw ui age, nui uy mo veiuc ui
youiii,.nnu una imiHKui 01 me wnoie ncu ino,(
nothing but the hotrors, sins and sickness, o-f,
ii ciiicr'-icu uixi), iiesuiniet. soul, uieasi
iuii oi poisons, anu om age run ol remorse,
Hia beautiful youthful days came back to
hint to-day as spectres, and led him far away
back again to the fair morning, when his
fafierfirt set. him out -upon-the bighvay of
life, which to the right, leads -upon the" JU
psth of virlure, into a wide and quiet land,
full of light and harvests, end full of angels ;
and which to the left leads down into the
molepalh of vice, into a black cavern, full of
dripping poisons, full of serpenta -ready to
dart upon theirprey, and full of dismal, close
exhaustions. ul the serpents bang around
his breast, and the poi-on-drops to bis tongue
and he knew not where he was.
Beside himself With an unspeakable grief
he cried out to Heaven: "Uh give me .youth
again! Oh, Father set ne out once more upon
th highway.thatj may choose the other path!'
But his father and his youth bad passed long
go! He saw ianti fntui dance over Ihe marsh
es, and out upon the grave-yard, and he said,
'Thty are my foolish days 1'
tie saw a star shoot from heaven, shimmer
in its fall, and vanish on the ewth. 'That is
me,' said his bleeding heart, and the serpent
fang of remote dog deeper into his wounds.
His glowing itn.ijiinalion revealed lo him tot
tering sleep walkers on the roof; the wind
mill raised its arms, threatening lo crash him:
and a mask which had been left in the empty
charnel-house, by degrees assumed his own
features.
Suddenly tn the. midst of his a'rtigsle, the
music of Ihe newyear flowed out of a lower
near at hand, like the distant sound of a
church anthem. His intnd became calmer
He looked up to Ihe horizon, and out over the
white earth; and be thought on the friends of
his youth, who, now happier nod better than
he, were teachers. on the earth, fathers of hap
py children, snd blessed of men, and he said,
Oh, I mirhl'also have Numbered with closed
eyes, on the first night of the year, if 1 had
willed it I Oh, I might also have been hap
py, you dear parents, had I (''Mowed your New
Year's wishes and instructions!'
Amidst these feverish reminiscences of his
youth, .it appealed to him as if the mask, with
his. feature., stix.d up in the charnel-house;
and. at lal,by means ol Hint superstition whi'b
on New- Years'a eve, sees ghosts and future
events, it was changed into a living youth.
He could look at it no more l He veiled his
eyes; a thousand hot tears streamed dissolving
into the anow, and slill he sighed, but very
low, betide himself and grief stricken, 'Come
And It came again; for he only dreamed so
bitterly, in the New Year's midnight. He was
slill a. young man; only his wandering were
no dream. Hut he thanked God that he still,
young could turn bock from the dnrk track ol
vice, and set out again upon the sunny path
ol virtue, which leads , into the fdir land ol
harvests.
Turn with him, young render, if thou Bland
est cn his path of error ! This fearful dream
will some time become thy reality; but if thou
shall cry, full of anguish, 'Come back lo me,
beautiful days of youth 1' ah, lhey will come
From the German.
Who the Girls Are.
In one of the factories in Main, recently,
Ihe proprietors reduced the wages. whereupon
there was a general determination lo stride,
snd as they were obliged to give a month's
notice befire quitting work, they have in the
meantime isfiieil at large, in which is thefol
lowing interesting psrngaaph:
"We are now working out'our notice and
shall soon be without employment: can turn
our hand lo most anything ; don't like lo be
idle, but determined .-not to wark furnoihing
when folks can alTord to pay. Who wants
help. Wo can make bonnets, dresses, pud
dings, pics and cake?, patch and darn, knit,
Lroast, stew, fry, make butter and cheese,
milk .cows, feed chickens, hoe cum, sweep
out the kilchon, put the pi.rlor to rights make
beds, spill wot'd, Jciudie fires, wash ood iron,
besides, in fact can do anything Ihe most ac
complislied housewife is capable of doing not
forgetting the icouklings on Mondays ami Nil
urdays. For specimens of spirits, will refer
you to our overseer. . Speak quick. Black
eves, fair foreheadv, clustering locks, beauti
ful as lit.be, can sing like a sernph mid
smile most bewifhingly. An elderly gentle
man in want of a nice housewife, nr. a nice
man in want of a wile willing to sustain her
character; in fact we are in the market
Who bids? Going -going gone ! Whos's
the kicky man ?
Gothe's Love.
It is said that this celebrated man was not
quite fifteen when Crelchen, the sister of one
disreputable companions with whom he un
fortunately associated at that early peiiod
his life, first agitated his imaginations with
her charms. The story is told in a rambling
way in his "Autobiography," and is briefly
this: He had olten turned his poetical tal
ents to pmeticnl purposes namely, writing
wedding anil uiiierut verses, the product
which went in 'joyous feasliiiL's. He was thus
almost daily thrown with Gretchen; but she,
though kind, treated him as a child, and nev
er permitted the slightest familiarity. A mer
ry life they led in picnic and pleasure boats;
and the eornalion of the Kaiser Joseph 1 1, was
Ihe occasion of increased festivity. Some
Ihe joyous companions had been guilty of ne
farious practices; such ns forgeries of docu
ments. His friend and Gretchen were involv
ed in the oecucniion, though wisely. Gothe
hail to undergo a severe investiga'ion, which,
as he was perfectly innocent, did not much
affect him; but an affliction oame out of the
iiivesiigaiiur, for Gietclien in her deposition
concerning him aaid "I will not deny thai
have often seen him, and seen him with pleas
ure, but 1 treated him as a child, and my af
fection for him was merely ti.atofa sister."
His exas'peratiuu may be imagined. A boy
springing to Ihe dignity of manhood knows
few things more galling lhan lo be treated
a boy by the girl whom be baa honored with.
his homage. He suffered gieatly at this dis
trucli'jn of his romri.ee; nightly was his
.... ..i.i. . r 'i k--..'..
"tri wmi ma tenia, i"J ihviiijc lrMigimui
him; aud life was no more an object.
it
PA certain good man listing been suffer
ing some lime from an ulcerated th-ont.
neighbor inquired nf a member of the family!
i
I what was-the nature of liiscomplaini.and
'answerta Ibat.il wos an "uluttrated throat."
The End of Time.
',
i
,
i
We are p- 'g en, slowly but surely to our
graves. Lac day'Dnnssus nearer lo thai un
seen world, t t straaite country into whirl)
, aiafty eute to dwell in bappines or misery
forver '
u- can n;. J with no returning '.ravellers
,trt can ei to ns their exneritnee! thev
past 0l, Heer return. Wefollowour friends
Wll, f tra m ,i .- vyes, 3 one by one uey pj
fne tea of ule, and (.'rawing, vanish from
oursigbt. '1 en tlie 'rning speaks deeply
(0 out unwil n g hearts.
Perchance Me have-teen a loved one taken
from our fanvjy circle. We have seen the
light fade Ir fi eyes thiit never beamed on us
but with Im .ernes and affection We have
lurtnt'V la .'1 dear voice, and marked bow
each day it grew more faltering, 'ill it -was
hushed in 1 lie silence of death; then we have
drawn the hair from the pale, cold biow, and
seen the delicate form deposited in the silent
tomb, 1 1 is in moments like these that we
lully real me our actual condition Uiat we
ourselves are atowly, yet aurely, travelling to
wards our graves.
How many there are who seldom give any
consideration to this serious subject. They are
too busy, loo anxious after worhlty wealth
and.pover, putting forth all their talents and
energy for the one grand object in view, the
possession of gold; passing with a eve 'ess
glance an I unfeeling heart, the poor in their
dessclation and misery, guarding with miserly
care their dollars and dimes ; unconsciously
sowing that others may reap, for Ihe time set
apait in thelu.lure lor rest ami enjoyment per
haps never tomes, kre that time their souls
may be called (.way, and on account demand
ed of the misused talents entrusted to their
care. '
Oh, human nature! wl.nl strange phases
you present to an observing eye. The gay, the
Sorrowful, the talented, the obscure, the im
penitent, the believer, the rich and the poor,
yet all passing along to the unknown worlu.
what ore ncbes, talent, wesltb, power or
fame, placed in the balance with eternity t-
Mere baubles that do not, or rather ought no
satisfy1 the cravings of the heart. Pays, weeks
months and yea is follow each other in sue
cession; but we should consider, how shall we
appear when Il.e earth shall pass away as
a ncroll, snd Ihe angels of Grid shall declare,
"Time was, but is no longer."
I
The Rich Family that never read a Newspaper.
PPer-
A eorresno dent of the Indiana Sl.ile Senti
nel, traveling in the weateni.part of thai Stale,
relates the following Incident :
The second night after 1 letl your city, I
pul up at laue brick tavern, known as the
L house. The proprietor, in answer lo
some interrogatories, nitornieu me that lie
owned over 100 acres of land, had raised the
present season 900 bushels of wheat, C50
bushels of oats, and expected to harvest 1,500
bushels of corn; that he owed no man a dol-
In.. ...ii ll.nl K. hut'., lruk m nsw.nin.f in
Ituttic ''l'aJee-Wfroeity to learn rtoflfcw
lanilty irpt up vim me current news oi ine
day, when 'deprived or the means of obtaining
it. Soon after I entered the family circle,
which consisted of the parents and six chil
dren, the eldest a daughter, on Il.e shady side
of twenty fivt the mother commenced with :.
"Mister, do you know whether the great Sir.
Webster is hanged yet f" "Yes, Madam."
'Wall,'? said she, "I allow he'll not make
more of them spelling books." '! suppose
not." "I've lived so long in the world," said
the mother with a deep sigh, "and I never
seed anybody hanged yet! I always thought
I'd like lo see one hanged, bul it never hap
pened to come right, and I'm getting so old
now I don't spect I ever will. I've seen the
sarrus and carnvin and sich kind of shows,
but I'd tullier see one fellow hanged than fif
ty of them shows." "Stronger," said the
duughter, "there is going to be an animal she
to-morrow down here 'bout six miles, may be
voit'd like to lay over and go down. Broiher
James says they've got two snakes there, the
same as what can swallow an elephant, and
I don't believe there ever was anysich snrkes
- do yon ?" "fto, Miss." "W all, then,
jography folks lies jist like other oiks !''
'Mother." said lames, "you don't know not h
ine what vou're talking about. .Don't the
L'uited Slates wake the ieogrnphies ? What
the use pulling lies into 'cm ? fTfcey make
'em everv leu years, lhey ore gnug to make
anntlitr in a few days. They send men out
aU over the country lo find out everything
that's what ,hol rhap was here for totlier day,
asking so tunny laruel iiesUons about. Stran-
ger-vour supper s ready."
of
I
of
1
as
pillow',. ''
...tobaCCO
w
a
was'
ftrA merchant who is noted for hu'pnr
simony and his outward obteiva'ion of relig
ious forms, compelled one or his cleiks, re
ceutly, to read the Bible through, when he
first entered his service. Soon alter he took
occasion to lecture the clerk for his imiolence,
when the vounitster replied that he was afraid
to work very haid in his employ, for fear of
losing Ins situation. The mercn.int was strucx
ughaxi si this answer, and demanded, angrily
thai the young man should inform himins'ant
ly how industry could prejudice his interests
with such an employer as himself! "Why,"
replied Ihe saucy clerk, "it is plain, from
nassaae tha' I read in the .Bible, that such
would be the case." "How youngster? How
does the Bible encottrage.youi laziness? An
swer me, quick f" "Well, it says that he
I tint is diligent in Imtinett shall stand before
Kings: he snail not siauu oeiord mean mtn.
It is needless lo say that the y ung mar. was
looking for a situation the dext day.
.-Fhh.'iutivic Lanojaob. The 2 hake may be
perfectly cured wtthou; paui uy tiie;rrencti
speeilic Mercury.
We wonder if ihe specifiu is hard to take
if not we will try itithwilh. Lx.
If cured it will be a l!er, indeed Trim.
lOJeily, gentlemen, 'lis a sore subject.
Letlsir. -
Yes. oiidrefliiiring 40lude to-btar. Courier.
This is carrying the matter quite as far as
SOqiielte will beat. Mail.
8 for us, neighbor, it has Ih200 out of
cloudless 7 b4 now. Ex.
We wish it had knocked the k9 species out
of existence in passing. Ane.
Those who art so 4'nS as to do Ihe .alifive
will find each paragraph to contain a slight
of humor. JV. Y. Globe. -
ffjOut West the rjiiali Rations a man tnosl
have to render him eligible to cffice, are.ft.vcr
and ague, a pork house, a hogshead of whisky
ja liowie Knne, seveureen grown up sons,
military brother in law, and plenty uruog-ieg
Iff "If yon doii'l give ine a penny," snida
young bepelul to his mamma, "1 know a boy
(hat's got ihe mtaslts, and I'll. go and catch
them, so l will f
JT-'ow shon d a husband speak to scolding
wife ? .My de r, l love you lit."
A Spirited well as a Merited Rebuke.
Here is a funeral sermon which, as far as it
goes, is almost erjosl to the famous "harp of a
!rim " Pnrann R a rather
eccentric character, was called to preach the
f nersl sermon of a hard -case, named Rnnn,
wh ih be did in the following unique style:
"Mv r'oed bretheien and sisters, if our
beloved brother Ilrnn would want someLody
to come her and tell lies about him, aud make
biro out a better man than he was, he would
not have chase me to preach his funeral ser
mon. No, my brtlheren, be wsnted to bt
held op as a burning and shining light, to
warn yon from the error of your ways. He
kept homia, and run'd 'em; he kept chickens,
and he fout -Ourdeavdeparted brother
bad many warnitt's brethereit. Thai first was
when be broke his leg, but still he went on in
the error of his wave. The second wern n'
was when bis son Peterbung himself in jail ;
and the last, and greatest wornin' of all, was
mien he died himself!" lne preacnar en
larged upon these topics until he sunk Rann
so low that hia hearers began to doubt whelh
er be would ever succeed in getting him un
again, and, as usual in funerals, lending him
safe in Abraham s bosom. This was the ob
ject of the second part of the sermon, which
started thus: "My bietheren, there'll be great
merocles gnat meraclea in heaven; and the
first meracle will be, that man you expect to
find there yon won't see there: The people
that go round with long faces, making long
prayers, won't be there. And Ihe second
mcraclo will be many that you don't expeel
to find there as, nerhsps, some wonft expect
to find ourdear departed brother'Rann you'll
find there; and the last and giea'es meracle
wi'l bo, to find yourelce$ there."
General Walkers Early Love.
We find the subjoined episode in the early
life of the Nicarrngunn beio, in au exchange
naner
"The history of General Wa ker, like that
of all other men of mark, is not free from the
romance of love as well as that of war Whilst
a law student in New Orleans, he conceived a
warm attachment fora very interesting young
led v. who was born deaf and dumb. She bad
been well educated, and was of very ennngin
manners. Her nisioritinea orew towards her
the sympathies and regard of all tender, heart
ed persons. With his characteristic ongmali
ty and peculiarity ol leeiing anu senium m,
Walker became warmly enamoured or un
voting lady. She reciprocated Irs regard, and
for some time, lhey were never happy unless
together. He soon acquired a knowledge o.
hersiens, ar.d they conversed wi'n great tacn
it y, the medium or Ihoir conversattonno doubt
adding zest lo their eninvment. At last some
slight misunderstanding interrupted tl.eir in
lercourse, and, belore a reconciliation could
be effected, the young lady died. This event
gave a tinge of melancholy to the thoughts
and cb arscter of Walker. Perhaps, as many
of hia friends thoueht. it produced the great
change in his character-winch a change from
the quiet, modest student, to the bold daring,
duuutlefs revolutionist and wartio:.
A Maiden's First Love.
Roman nature has no essence more pu'e
the world knows nothing more chaste Heav
en has endowed the mortal heart with no feel
ing more holy, than the nascent offection of a
young vircin's soul. The warmest language
of the sunny south is too cold lo shadow furl
even n faint outline of that enthusiastic senti
ment. And God has made the richest Ian
gunge poor in that some respect, because the
oi hs oi hearts that tlirtil wuii love's eir.o
lions, are too sacred for the common coutem
nhition. The musica . voice of love stirs the
source or the sweetest thought wilhtn the l:u
man beast, and steals into the most profound
reces es of the soul, touching chords which
never vribrated before, and cilung into gen
tle companionship delicious hopes till then
unknown.
Yes ihe light of a ,yMing .maiden's first
love breaks dimly but beautifully upon her as
the silver luster of a star glimmer lino' a
thickly woven bower; and the first-blush that
mantles her cheek, as she frels tl.e pnrnal in
fluence, is fainted and pure as thai which a
roselenf might cast upon marble. Hut how
rapidly does tbat light grow stronger, and that
flush deeper until Hie powerful etluliieiice
of the one irradiates every corner other heart
and the crimson glow of the other suffuse! ev
Mysteries of
London.
j
a
a
to The subject of impression at first sight
was being talked over at the supper table
when the lady who presiding "o'er the cups
and tes," said she always formed an idea ol a
person at first sight, and generally found it to
be correct.
"Momma," said her youngest son, in a
shrill voice that. attracted '.he attention ofell
present.
"Well, my dear," -said Ihe fend mother,
"what is it?"
"I want to know," said Youne America,
"what was . your opinion of me, tien youjirtt
xiub met"
:FiTii.MKTic. "First class in mathematics
stand up. What is simple division?''
"Plors'1, sir, t know. Ureaking Bob brmth s
cake aim ea'ing hall yourself."
"High:! What is compound division?"
' Honking the whole of Hub Smith's cake
and dividing it between yourself and brother."
"Kiclil stain. Now go out of doors und
put your head against something Cold, to keep
your nose irom meeting.
Progress. A schoolboy, about ten years of
age approaches the master with a bold front,
and self Confident air, and the following dia
logue eii'iied:
May 1 be dismissed ii?'
'What reason have you for making the re
que!, Thomas?'
'I want lo lake my woman out a sleighing,
sir?'
Take your seat!'
A Yavku. He, is sell denying, self-relying,
and into everything prying. He is a lover of
piety, propriety, notoriety, and the temperance
siN.-ie'y. He is ii dragging, bragging, striving,
thriving, swapping, jostling, hustling, wrest
ing, musical, dizical, astronomical, philo
sophical, poeiicnl, and comical sort of clinrac
ier, whose manifest des'iny is to spread civili
sation to the remotest corner of Ihe eartb.
V- A wretched creature has been arrested
In New York for declaring :ht the kiss of
a printer's devil would be very likely-to prove
a nightmare i. e. an Ink-bus. ;Did you ever!
IT"Did your fall hurt you," aaid one Pat
lander to another, who had fallen from the
top of a two stiry bouse. "Not in the least
bona), 'twas etoppin' aa fluid that hurt me,"
CIr Unrrrrn!. -
publishrdevery Tl-nn d nori ;rf ir.-tV &!
Masonic HaU, second story of the biles' build-
ngwesiofC. Vanausdal & Co's store, Main
Street, Eaton, Ohio.at ihe followingraies:
Jl:80 per annum, in advance.
82oo: if not paid within the yar, sad
t2:60 after the year baa expired.
tTThese rates will be rigidly enforced.
Na paper discontinued until allarrearagit ape
paid unless oltbeoption of thepublitber. '
CTNo communication inserted, tunJt r ac
eompanied hi a responsible name.
London. From the Pittsburg Post.
STEALING THUNDER.
Twenty three yeara ago the best abused
man in this nation was Cen. Authew Jackson.
Whigs, Abolilionisis, ail, in fact, but stead
fast Demoerula hurled curses both loud and
deep at the head of the old hern. Murder,
treason, the ruin of bis country, were some of
'he crimes laid to his charge. But the storm
passed over, and the sober fecond'thought nf
the people prevailed. The Whigs and Aboii-
liomsts, however, never forgave him. Whew
are thev now ? They form the great mass of
the Republican and American parties. New
formations eiit-of .eld elements, they eherirh
the same animosity towards the Democratic
party and Democratic principles that they. ever
did. Yet what do we find those parties d ine
now ? One of them calls together a Nation
al (?) Convention, representing a Utile moro
than hail ihe Mates ot the union; ami's
peranmioled old granny is made chairman of
that Convention .merely because.be was, in
the prime and vigor nf his manhood, one of
Jackson's friends, and an edi or of a paper rep-,
resenting the sentiments of Jackson. The
other of these parUeacallsa National Conven
tion nt Philadelphia. It meets, and nominates
Andrew Juckeon ronetson for Vice President
of the United Slates, merely because he bears
the old hero's name, and wis brought up in
his family. His name is paraded over the
whole cuunlry not as A. J. Donelson, nr An
drew J.; but as AnJnto Jud.tun Donelson.
The Democratic parly Ins made FrancUiP.
Blair a rich man, -worth now al least a third of
a million. He was not yet satisfied. He want
ej more wealth and honors; but tlie parly,
and Air. Polk at its head, preferred lo bestow
confidence and honors upon others. Tbis-.wns
doubtless done with Gen. Jackson's advice,
and Mr. Blair in his ob! age must have ven
geance. So he does what Van Buren did
when he could not be President a feci nd time,
he deserts his parly and joins the Free Soilers.
Both were disappointed politicians on uhnm
the party bad bestowed riches end honors, but
whom it refused to serve forever.
And Andrew Jackson Donelson hew has. lie
distinguished himself, or givm eviJeiiee of lire
ability to fill the high place for which he is
named. The only mark of distinction is the
name he bears, and the fact that Jackson tok
pity on his destitution in childhoou, and took
him to his Irispi'.uMe home. One thing mor
lie has done; he has deserted the party aid
principles of his benefactor, and joined n. par
ty that would hnve deprived Jackson's father
of a vote, and denounced him an alien Irish
man, But he has tat at Hit- tnblo of Jntk:on,
enjoyed his hospitality am! kindness, borne
his name, and deserted his principle, and i li--Kuow
Nothings say that is a MiHicieni qualifi
cation and recomrnendaiion fur the Vice Pre
sidency. We suppose that when the Republicans
make their nominations .Vr. Hinirwill be sim
ilarly honored. The few old familiar friends
of Jackson thai yet remain, should prepi.re
themselves for public service. They will le
wanted as candidates of the Republican and
American parties. There is one residing in
this county w ho will probably run for Gover
nor. The name of the man tliose parties So
vilified in life ha3 become great in death. A
lock oP Ins hair could il be obtained, thfy
would doubtless worship ns sacred re lie.
Now, does any one suppose that this man
wr rship is sincere ? that the iimne of Jackson
bus suddenly become so dear so Abolitionist
ui,d Native Americans Or is it but on at
tempt to steal a little iliuudjr for a political
purpose ? Can the people be huixiLutgtd by
iuch menus ?
Would ii not' be-well for a-jr fieeoti friends
to nok-a little fuitiier lor capital. There is
anolhergreal -miin, deal lo the Democracy,
that coil id be made o! some use perhaps.
Somew here in tlie lend grand eliildieii orgreat
grand-children of Thomas JefTtr-on could be
found. A word is sufficient, the teaieli Will
doubtless commence immediately. We close
by quoting what the Washington Star soys of
Andrew Jiickmm Donnlsoil. .Here it n:
"He resided hsre for many years, and is
well remembered, especially on scoount of
Gen. Jackson's meiii .rabU saying, that every
body had his pest; for his, part, if it were not
for bonels'Ui, he should have nothing in llio
word to trouble turn, l liu truth is, Di.nelsnu
was his Mmttieui Mhiprol"- I;enig a fami
ly con nectiou f his wile, the General wad
forced to tulcrole him about him, and lo gnu
and'benr, with all the plilnsopliy he could mas
ter, ihe scrapes and ditlicuities into w hicti
Donelson was constantly getlmg him. jjoii-
elson's most remark iblo trait is uo abiding.
waul of common sense, which has prevent
ed him, notwithstanding the prestige of his
relationship to the wife of Jackson, from
having the least political weight, v. here p.-r-sonaliy
known.
"lie lotted from the iDcinacratio patly be
cause President Pierce refused to lake h R!
and certain member of his family, for office,
utiris own valuation. Fur months before he
turned up a Know Nothing, the locofocos of
Nashville were-crncking jokei about Lis li m
ento'ioiis over hie failure to get what he askei!
of Ihe Adminisliation, and the undignified
and impotent persenal abuse showered by him
at the street comers lor the benefit of street
corner andieiices,ou the President, .liisimtfn
inaiion is wonh to Ihe Know .NolhUig cause,
in Tennessee, ot least a clear loss of 2,500
votes, for ihe mental and. political calibre of
Major Andrew Jackson Donelson is well
known throughout portions of that State."
CTSome people think that if a female dr ip
a two shilling fan in lo a well, il would bv
merely polite on the part of the gentleman ii
attendance upon her, to jump lo the bottom
and fish il out. Well bred ladies lough hi
secret, at these truly clownish assumptions, uf
genul,.y and clirivalry.
ft-Suspicious to hearo 'young tedy.com
plain that she cannot Keep herself warm il.esa
cold nights. A shirt sleeve with a arm iu it,
is an excellent lemedy for such complaints.
UTTHezekiali says that if his landlady htew
beam, she wouldn't buy (ho article colled
"burnt anl ground coffee."
(IT Young people fall ,in love just now,
whether lhey wish fjr not. The weather is so
cold, they fieczj together, ln-sp.te of all ex
ertions to the con Ir ty.
I.woi.i'xtarv Pust. A rich greenhorn win
had been to view a celebrated p unting of tl.ta
Temptation of Adorn and Eve, was asked bv a
lady if it was a chasle picture. "Yes," Im
tail!, "tliated by a snake."
ATA new patent remedy to nrike lazy hm
bands smart; namely, "put Cayenne pepper ui
their boots."
JTSomeboilv calls a festiv il, "a jii.n,
the love of God, chanty, and UUpia).''
fo