The Cadiz sentinel. [volume], December 04, 1844, Image 1

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5
VOLUME XI.
CADIZ, HARRISON COUNTY, OHIO, DECEMBER 1, 1811.
NUMBER 37.
POETRY.
Written for the Cadin Benlintl.
THE SCEPTIC'S TASK.
BY THE LEYDEN BARD.
Go, sceptic, go, a voice mysterious calls,
At evening's silent hour from afar,
That courts thy presence at a bounteous feast,
Go, muse upon the wonder-moving scene ;
Beheld the picture in the view displayed ;
Give ear profound, and list whilst Nature speaks.
See'st thou the setting son? How beautiful
The red horizon in its grandeur glows!
What varied hues of pink and purple cast
Along the cloudless arch of yon blue sky ;
Its wide expanse spread o'er the slumb'ring hills,
Tinged with an eth'ry cast of molten gold!
See how the broad horizon's fading blue,
Slowly beyond the mountain's brow recedes,
And disapppears beneath the gorgeous veil
Of crimson drapery. Fainter it glows,
And fainter still the eyrie dome becomes,
Till shadows grey, perceptible, apace,
Steal e'er a silent, and drudge-weary world.
How come these changes-where the vast machine
That moves at will, with such precision too,
This harmony of scenery around?
Feel'stthou the twilight? How its.mollow shades
Come creeping with their soft and zeph'ry chill;
Whilst all the warmth, and sultry stifling heat,
Which lingered ytt behind the vanishing sun,
Is scouted, and replaced with freshness sweet.
Another change mark thou the changos well.
Hear'st thou yon brook? How by the mountain's
base
It murmurs through bough-spring arche3 groen.
Where solitude in noonday shadows reigns,
And silence hovers through the watch of night,
What melody floats-in its mournful voice !
The heart its sympathies must needs unfold
To that sweet pathos which salutes the ear;
And with its echoes oft a "God speed" send,
As downward through the lovely glen they glide,
And die upon the distant neighb'ring hills.
Hear'st thou yon bird? Throughout the day he
. slept,
But now he fills the forest fur und wide
With tho shrill music of his mournful song.
Why sing when all his compeers are at rest?
Why sang he not with them in shady groves,
At morning, or the noontide's sultry hour?
Is his to theirs a far superior song
That now alone his chnntings must be heard?
Mark that bird well; for some mysterious thing
Has taught him this a hidden master hand
Must thus have formed him for such duty raro.
Behold'st yon s!ar? I low brilliantly it shines
Alone within that arch of darkest blue!
Twinkling, and sparkling, lo! it glitters there
As though a vast array of costly gems
Had all concentred in one lovely spot,
Which brightei flashed thodarkerdarknoss grew.
Who placed it there? Came it by chance lo grace
The clear curtain twilight left behind?
Came it by accident so happ'ly there?
And what presumptuous hand the glory seoks
Of sonding forth that lovely, lovely star?
See'st thou the moon? How lovely she ascends
The distant summit of the eastern hill!
See on the smooth still lake, and placid streams
The rolling fountains, and the glassy rills,
She bathes the bright reflection of her beams.
Behold her too upon the clifT-wallod shore
How sweetly on old ocean's face she smiles!
The queen of night, clad in her fair costume,
Now down upon her toilet mirror looks
With modest glance, and wild absorbing grace,
As though apprized of all her envied charms!
See the reflection! Oh how beautiful
Are ull the sparkling splendors of the night!
Feel'st thou her power? What hand so largely
fill'd
Could give away prerogatives like these
To charm and awe to melt and soothe the soul?
Do'st wonder now? what simple wonder this!
-
Grasp, grasp the book ; glide slowly o'er the page ;
Read slowly on: read once, then read again;
And realize the truth thou'st long despised,
That naturo's works bespeak an Autiiok groat?
Go, sceptic, eo. let wisdom be thy iruide;
She can conduct thee to the font of Truth.
She poind afar to that eternal spring,
Whoso draughts the drooping spirit can revive
Can make sin tremble stagger unbelief
Dispel rash doubt, and banish fell despair
Fill the cold bosom with inspiring faith
Bring back tho unbeliever to tho fold;
And force the wily sceptic lo confess
That man's immortal, and there is a God!
Pittsburgh, Pa.
: mount.
The Louisvillo Demoerat of the 20th Instant
ays: "On yesterday, an emigrating party passed
through our city, consisting of father, mother and
twenty children. The parents appeared to be
about forty-five 'years of ago; the oldest child
and the three youngest six or eight months only,
They were travelling in true pedestrian style;
the aire leading bote, the dame superintending
the interesting group, while throe cf the eldest
daughters were carrying each one of the babies.
Their destination we did not learn, but think it
not improbable the old man is about settling a
colony in Oregon, . .
From Neat's Saturday Gazette.
THE DEFEATED ONE.
or it's kothixg when you'kb lsed to it.
BY jOSENl C. NEAL.
It certainly makos a great difference, when
you are used to it. Every body knows for the
phrase has become proverbial that it is 'nothing
when you are used to it,' whatever it may be.
By the process of habitude, the disagreeable lo
ses its poignancy, and pleasure fails in its delight.
Familiarity so domesticates the occurrence, that
at length, as a matter of course, it passes with
out no(e. A child is happy with its new shoes
m the morning; but before the afternoon arrives
the poetry of leather has evaporated. Milli
nery, when worn for the first time, has its blisses;
and thore is ecs'acy in furniture, when it has
just come home. But the tendency is always to
a level. Gratification has no endurance in it ;
and the same is true of our sorrows. It is said,
indeed, that Mithridatos had so accustomed him
self to the swallowing of poisons, thai ' malice
domestic ' could not dispose of him by a resort
to drugs and chemicals. A prescription, no
matter how 'carefully compounded,' disturbed
not the physical organization of this cunning
one ol r ontus. lie was doetor-proot impreg
nable to apothecaries, and triumphing over phar
macy, by dint of being ' used to it. And llien,
again, when people are used to us, how depre
ciating is the enect. 1 he most impressive and
majestic presence is soon unnoticed. Instead
of inspiring awe and reverence at home, people
about the house do not hesitate to tell sublimity
himself, that they did not know he was thore
that they thought he had gone out, or that they
were not aware that he had come in. It was
not so at first; but one may get used even to the
terrific.
Observe, moreover, when you have cause for
being coy to invitation when you are not in
costume, or look haggard tor need ot the razor
-yet are pressed to ' come in, under assurance
that 'nobody is there. How olten does it hap
pen, by the agency ot use, that th:s 'nobody, is
the husband or the wife 'nobody,' perhaps, to
each other; but still a considerable somebody to
you. 1 he unshaven gentleman, to his much an-
noyanco and exceeding embarrassment, is en.
trapped into rooms quite full of 'nobody,' and,
like the incautious Braddock, falls by ambush
Always ask who 'nobody' is, when told that 'no
body's there;' and inquire how many people con
stitutc 'nobody,' in that family. Dozens become
'nobody' by being used to them.
The world is light, then; there is nothing like
being 'used to it.' The Asiatic devotee slapt
soundly on the jagged surface or an iron bod, un
til tenpenuy nails were more soothing and de
lightful to him than the softest foathcrs. With
a choice of pillows, he would havo selected a
stovepipo to repose his cheek. And Othello's
'flinty and steel couch of war' was to him a
'thrice driven bed of down.'
It inny be, however, that people in genera! re
gird political defeat, especially if" the individual
himself chances lo be on the 'returns,' among the
killed and wounded, as not exacily coining un
der the head of the entertaining; but other poo-
plo know we know that even this is nothing
when we arc used to it. Here, as elsowhore
'the hand of leant employment hath the daintier
sense. And then, the freedom from every tram
mol which it involves. Bless thee, friend, one
walks homo, after such a disaster, with not the
shadow of a real care upon his mind. Whate
ver of sorrow ho may suppose himself to have,
it is but a grief fiom the storehouse of imagina
tion. Ho is exempt from all solicitude. He
can betake himself with confidence to bed. A
minority slumber is but rarely disturbed by tho
roaring shouts of a torch-light procession.
It is not expected that he should shivcringly
arise at two o'clock in the morning, to make
thrinkful speeches for the honor which has been
done to him, or to invite Tom, Dick, and Harry,
to come in and soil his carpets and drink his wine.
He can take his meals, and read tho 'returns' in
quiet, unannoved bv either bell or knocker. He
is not required lo give 'cold cut,' previously gi
ven to hnn at the polls. When he walks forth
his way through the streets is clear and mien
barrasscd. Nobody squeezes his lmnd and asks
for his influence. He is not obliged to perplex
his brain for the coinage of piquant replies, in
answer to flat and woarisome compliment. Sue
cess must smile; but defeat may indulge in his
humor.
And then, what cares he for securities? He
is safo enough in himself His affairs, too mav
stand as they are no winding up and packing
up; no cnanges to.disturb his household goods,
or lo distress ins adliesivenoss. io winter m
Washington or sojourn at Ilanisburgh, to he pro
vided for; no perplexities about other people's
business; no cogitations about how to remain
popular, and how to satisfy all the world and the
world's wife. Ha who is defoated, may think as
he pleases, say what he pleases, go where he
pleases, and wear what he pleases, lie is nei-
ther compelled to have opinion nor to 'define
positions.' He has no dignity to support, piuch
him nndor the arms, and rendering him as un
comfortable as an unaccustomed coat; rind whe
ther he is aristocratic in his deportment or other
wise, nobody knows and nobody cares.
Who, then, let us ask, who would not be a
defeated candidate? Who would not be, like
Jaflier, 'in love ond pleased with ruin?' It is for
tho 'constituency1 to repent of blunders, not for
him the free, the untrammelled, the independent
the unvoted for. If the affairs of tho republic
go wrong, lot others weep 'thou canst not flay
1 did it.'
But the gentleman whose potrait is given above
(the Gazette has an opt and happy wood cut of
iho 'Defcuted One., in an nttitudowieforo his
glass,) shows by tho fierceness of his expression,
that he, at least, has not yet learned the pluloso
phy of politics. Halting before the mirror, from
his hasty taaversers about the apartment, ho ex
changes scowl for scowl with his image, as if
disposod to divide himself and go to bullets. He
would also see whether ho is mistnkon in the
merits of the man, who had been presented for
suffrage, and had been denied. But ho can dis
cover no change no fulling off, and his wrath
increases. It is plain, alas, that St on tor Stubbs
is not used to it; and that he is as yet unable to
take that philanthropic view of rhe case, which
would toll that if ho had been successful, the
other side must perforce havo been sad. A
certain amount of sadness is inevitable. If you
listen carefully, each hurrah has its countervail
ing groan; ond the benevolent man whose luck
it is--wbether good or bad, we shall hot now un
dertake to decide not to be elected, mi i lit do
much towaids consoling himself, by reflecting
upon the happiness deii 'ed by others from his
mischance. Ought we not let the query be
pondered ought we not, in the transcenden
talism of our humanity, to desire defeat for this
.'ery purpose? What a triumph ever selfishness,
to be ablo to say: "Twas I ihat made 'em crow
but for my impeifect running, they would now!
nave been in tears r
Stentor Stubbs, however, in the first flashes
of his disappointment, carried on the war differ
ently, trom not generalizing enough. W hen the
result was ascertained, Stontor Stubbs hammer
ed his hat upou his brow, as if, unlike Patrick
Henry, he was determined never again to 'bow
to the majesty of the people.1 It seemed as if
it were proposed that his hat should be from this
time forth, installed as a fixture Stubbs and his
hat, 'one and indivisible.' Stubbs buttoned his j
coat clear up to his chin, with an air that told
plainer than words could speak, that his chan
ties were hereafter to remain at home, and that
all popular avenues to his heart were closed, now
and forever, with "No Admittance," chalked
over the door " No Admittance, except on bu
siness," to the bosom ot Ktentor Stubbs. lie
took his defeat, as the inexperienced aie apt to
take such things as a personal matter. Not
being used to it, he felt affronted. He thought
that he had been 'made game' of. To be 'game'
of your own accord, is an honor; but to imagine
that other folks are 'making game' of you, is
productive ot an unpleasant sensation, when you
arc not exactly used to it.
Don't go btubbs,' said a brother politician, as
he puffed his segar; 'wait for the full returns. I
want to know how much you're defeated ; cause
I made a bet that you couldn't come it. Then,
there's the rest of the, ticket '
'The furies take the rest of the ticket,' ejacu
lated Stubbs, as he pushed through the crowd
and strode indignantly along; 'I'll smash a chair
ovor the table I'll jnm my stick right through
the window I'll dance on the top of the tea
things. Not elected ! Don't let any body ever
try to speak to me again, if they don't want to
ketch it. But if they have any thintr to say.
now's tho time. There's the watchman what
does he mean by brawling so, as if tho whole
town didn't know what o'clock it is? I've a
great mind to yes; if he wasn't so big, I would
and if I do come across a little one, I'll shake
Charley all to pieces, this very night. I'll com
mit justifiable homicide.'
'Ha ! Ha !' laughed Stubbs hysterically, 'if
Mrs. Stubbs is up yet, she's got to hear of it. I'll
give her a bit of my mind. Why did she let me
take a nomination? Sho told me not, I know,
but I do believe she told mo so only to make me
take it to aggravate mo into taking ,t. If she
had advised me to take it, sho knows I wouldn't;
nothing but contrariness in these women. It's
all her faultit's always her fault somebody
else is continually getting me into a scrape.'
'And then,' added Slubbs, savagely, 'when
l'vo done correcting the old woman, there's
got to be a spaukado. I'll rousa out every one
of the children. I'll spank 'cm till I'm tirod, and
do a father's duty by thorn. They've been ne
glected the wholo ot tins campaign, and I'll be
gin to bo paternal, right off the reel.'
'Well,1 continued Stubbs, in a softened tone
'there's always a comfort for manied folks
There's somebody at homo that you can blow up
when you've a mind to, and they can't help
themselves. Strangers won't take it when you
feel sassy; but it is the boiuidon duly of Mrs
Stubbs to listen and not to throw thiiifrs at me.
Every body isn't l;able to stoppage; but it it's
never lost on the little Stubbs if it isn't due
now they can take it on account. Ah, domes
tic felicity is one of the greatest thiiiffs that ever
was found out, especially when you're not elec
ted. Home, sweet home --one can have a row at
home, audit's nobody's business but your .own.'
'There's one thins certain, at any rate,' said
Stubbs on the following morning, :is he poked
tho newspapers with their election returns, into
the stove; Tvo dono with politics. I don't like
being called kangai'oo, and cannibal, and all
sorts of hard names. I've been peppered quite
enough for one while in that way. And another
thing I'm tired of forking out for other people's
amusement. When a man's 'on tho ticket,' as
they call it, ho.isro bono publico tho public
bone every thing he's got. Money oh, yos
money for processions, money for flags, money
for meetings, money for dockyments, money for
newspapers money money nil the time. But
that's not enough, if you're 'on tho ticket,1 you
must work like a horse besidos run round the
town, und scamper over the country get up
early, and go to bed late, and never get no din
ner have lo keep cold potatoes in your pocket,
and eat em as you go. lietch one bad cold atop
ot the other bad cold, till you're as hoarse as the
man with an oystercart, ot a rainy night. And
then, when you feel bad yourself about it, you
mustn't let on that you feel bad, but tell whop
pers to keep up thoir spirits. And at last, when
your pockets are empty; when you're as lean as
a greyhound, and croak like a raven when your
business is gone to rack and ruin, why then
you're not elected, and are set down as used up,
That's tho finish.
'I've had a talk with' Mrs. Stubbs aboul it
we've made up and now I am poinj; te elect
myself to the office of minding my own affairs,
and looking after, my own shop. Mo and Mrs
Stubbs are the United States, and I am to be
President thereof. 1 he children are lo be the
people, they are the voxpopuli, and arc to hur
rah and vote tor me at every election. Our can
die light procession shall be up and down stairs
we'll have a town meeting every day at dinner
and Iind our own loaves and fishes. Ton my
word, now that mo and Mrs. Stubbs havo con
cluded not to have hard words any moro, if I
don't begin to think that to be beaten m an elec
tion, is sometimes just about the best thing that
could happen to a tcllow. It sort ot settles turn
down puts notions out of his head makes him
sleep without dreaming, and sends him about his
business. I feel all tho better of it already.
And the little Stubbses shall have a cent apiece
all round, this very afternoon.1
Filial Love. It is mentioned by Miss Par-
doe, that a "beautiful feature in the character ef
the 1 inks is roverenco for the mother. Their
wives may advise or reprimand unheeded, but
iheir mother is an oracle, consulted, confided in
listened to with respect, or with deference hon
ored, to tho latest hour, and remembered with af
fection and regard even beyond tho crave.11--
"Wives may die," say they, "and we can replace
thorn; children may perish, and otliors may be
born to us; but who shall restore the mother
when she pnssos away, and is seen no more?"
VALUE OF THE BIULE.
BV JOHN QCIXCY ADAMS.
Addressed to one of the Literary Associations
of Baltimore.
Tho first and almost the only book deserving
such universal recommendation, is the Bible
and in recommending that, I fear some of you
will think 1 am performing a superfluous, and oth
ers, a very unnecessary office yet such is my
deliberate opinion. The Bible is the book of
ail others to be read at all ages and m all con
ditions of human life; not to be read once or
twice or thrice through, and then to be laid a-
side, but to be read in small portions of one or
two chapters, every day, and never to be inter
mitted, unless by some overruling necessity.
Ihis attentive and repeated reading ot the
Bible in small portions, everv day, leads the mind
to habitual meditation upon subjects of the high
est interest to the welfare of the individual in
this world, as well as to prepare him for that
hereafter to which we are all destined. It fur
nishes rules of action for our conduct towards
others in our social relations. In the command
ments delivered from Sinai, in the inimitable su
blimity of the Psalms and of the Prophets, in
the profound and concentrated observation of
human life and manners embodied in tho Pro
verbs of Solomon, in the Philosophical allegory
so beautifully set forth in the narrative of facts,
whether real or imaginary, of the Book of Job,
an active mind cannot peruse a single chapter
and lay aside the book to think, and take it up
again to-morrow, without finding in it, advice for
our own conduct, which we may turn to useful
account in the progress of our dailypilgrimage
upon earthand when we pass from tho Old
Testament to the New, wo meet at once a sys
tem of universal morality, founded upon one
precept of universal application, pointing us to
peace and good will towards the wholo race of
man for this life, and to peace with God, and an
ever blessed existence hereafter.
My friends, if all or any of you have spiritual
pastors to guide you in the paths of salvation, do
not imagine that I am encroaching upon the field
of their appropriate servicos: 1 spake as a man
of the world, and I say to you, Search the Scrip
tures ! If ever you lire of them in seeking for
a rule of faith and Standard of morals, search
tliem as records of History. General and com-
pendous history is one of tho fountains of human
nowledge to which you should all resort with
steady and preserving pursuit. Ihe Bible con
tarns the only authentic introduction to the h:s
toi y of the world; and in storing your minds
with the facts of this history, you will immedi
ately perceive the need of assistance from Geog
raphy and Chronology. 1 heso assistants you
may find in many of the Bibles with commen
taries, and you can have no difficulty in procu
ring them. Acquaint yourselves with the Chro
nology and Geography of Ihe Bible that will
lead you to a general knowledge reopecting the
globe which you inhabit, and respecting tho race
of man, its inhabitants to which you youiself be
long. You may pursue these inquiries just so
far as your time and inclination will permit,
Give one hour of mental application, (for you
must not read without thinking or you will read
lo little purpose,) give an hour of joint reading
and thought to the Chronology, and one to the
Geography of tho Bible, and if it introduces you
to a hard study, stop there. Even for those two
hours, you will ever after read the Bible, and ev
ery other history, with more fruit, more intelli
seiice, and more satisfaction. But if those two
hours excite vour curiosity, and tempt you lo do
volo part of an hour every day for a year or
vears, to study thoroughly the Chronology am
Geography of tho Bible, it will not only lead
you lkr deeper than you will otherwise over pe
netrate into tho knowledge ol the book, but it
will shed floods of light upon every step you
shall ever afterwards take in acquiring tho know
ledge of profane history, and upon the local hab
itation of every tribe of man, and upon the name
of every nation into which the children of Adam
have been diviuiued.
A GOOD STOKY.
Major Noah of tho New York Messenger tells
the following:
In Ireland a warming pan is called a friar.
Not many years ago, an unsophisticated girl took
service in a hotel in the town of . Poor
thing, she had never heard of a wanning pan in
her life, thoush she regularly confessed to a
friar once a year. It so happened cn a cold driz
zly night, that a priest took lodgings in tho Inn.
He had travelled far, and being weary retired at
an early hour. Soon after, iho mistress of the
house called the servant girl,
"Betty put the friar in No 0."
Up went Betty to tho poor priest.
"Your reverence must go into No. C, my mis
tress says.
"How, what?" asked he, annoyed at being dis
turbed. There was no help for it, and the priest arose,
donned a gown, and went into No. (5. In about
fifteen minutes the mistress called lo Betty.
"Put the friar into No. 4."
Betty said somothing about disturbing his rev
erence, which hor mistress did not understand.
So sho told tho girl in a sharp manner lo do al
ways as sho was directed, and she would always
do right. Up went Hetty, and the unhappy
Priest, despite his angry protestations, was o
hliged to turn out of No. 0. and go into No. 4.
uut a little time had elupsed ere the mrl was
told to put the friar into No. 8; thinking every
body was mad in the house, and sturdily rosolv
ed to quit it ihe next morning, crept between
the damp sheets of No. 8. But he was to enjoy
no peace there. Betty was again directed to put
the friar into No. 3, and witu tears in her eyes
she oboyed. In about an hour the h.idlady con
eluded to go to bed hersalf, and tho friar was or
dered into Iter room. Wondering what it all
inoant, Betty rousod up the priest, and told him
ho must co to No. 11. The monk crossod him
self, counted his beads, and went into No 14
It so happened that the husband of the landlady
was troubled with the greon-eyed monster. Go
ing up to bed, therefore, before his wife, his sus
picions were confirmed by seeing betweon his
own sheets a man sound? asleep. To rouse the
sloeper and kick him into the street, was the work
of a moment; nor was tho mistako explained un
til the next day, when the priest informed the
inn-kcoper what outrages had been committed
upon him, and he learned to his amazement, that
he had ttoeu serving the whole flight as a WARMING-PAN-
: r
A wty'a a feather, and a chief's a tod; " "
' An Iionost man's tho noblest work of God.M -
WON'T TAKE TWENTY DOLLAKS.
Some waggish students at Yale College, a few
years since, were regaling themselves one even
ing at the lontmc, when an old farmer from the
country entered the room, (taking it for a bar
room,) and inquired it he could obtain lodging
there. The old fellow who was a shrewd Yan
kee, saw at once that he was to be made the butt
of their jests, but quietly taking off his hat, and
telling a worthless little dog he had with him, to
lie under tho chair, he took a glass of proffered
beverage. The students anxiously inquired af
ter the health of the old man's wife and chil
dren, and the farmer, with affected sympathy,
gave them tho whole pedigree, with numerous
anecdotes regarding his farm, stock, &-c.
"Do you belong to the church f " asked one
of the wags.
" Yes. the Lord be praised, and so did my fa
ther before me,1
"Well, I suppose you would not tell a lie?"
replied the student.
"Not for the world."
"Now, what will you lake for that dog?"
pointing to the farmers cur, which was not
worth his weight in Jersey mud.
" 1 won't take twenty dollars for that dog."
"Twenty dollars! why ho is not worth twenty
cents."
" Well, I assure you I would not take twenty
dollars for him."
"Come, my friend, said the student, who with
his companions was bent on having some capital
fuu with the old man, "now you say you won't
tell a lie for the world let me seo if you will
do it for twenty dollars. I will give you twenty
dollars for your dog."
" I'll not take it."
"Youwillnot! Here, let me see if this will
not tempt you to lie," added the student, produ
cing a small bag of half dollars, from which he
commenced counting numerous small piles upon
Hie table. Ihe farmer was sitting by ihe table
with his hat in his hand, apparently unconcerned.
" lucre, added the student, "there are twen
ty dollars, all in silver I will give you that for
your dog."
Ihe old farmer quietly raised his hat o the
edge of the table, and then as quick as thought
scraped all the money into it except one half
dollar, and then exclaimed,
"I won't take your twenty dollars! Nineteen
and a half is as much as the dog is worth he is
yourproporty!"
A tremendous laugh from Ins fellow students,
showed the would-be-wag that he was complete
ly "rowed up, ' and that he need not look for
help from that quarter so he good naluredly
acknowledged himself beat. The student re
tained his dog, which ho keeps to this day, as a
tossen to him never to attempt to play tricks on
men older than himself, and especially to be
careful how he tried to wheedle a Yankee far
mer. Yale Literary Magazine.
DICTIONAIJY.
We find the following new definitions cf seve
ral words in our language, not to bo found in
Webster's Dictionary:
PriLosoriiY Experimental philosophy ask
ing a man to lend you money. Moral philosophy
refusing to do it.
Hard Times Silting on a cold grindstone
reading the President's Message.
Love A little word within itself, intimately
connected with shovel and tonga.
Progress of Time A pedler going through
the laud with wooden clocks.
Genteel Society A place where the rake
is honored, end the moralist condemned.
Poetry. A bottle of ink sprinkled over a
sheet ot foolscap.
Rnun Justice Juror on a murderor case fast
asleep.
Friend Ors who lakes your money, and
then cms your acquaintance.
Patriot A man who has neither property
nor reputation to lose.
Ho.NF.iTY Obsolete; a term formerly used in
case oi a man wno had paid for his newspaper
and the coat on his back.
Independence. Owing fifty thousand dollars
which you never intend to pay.
Lovely Woman An article manufactured by
milliners and dress-makers:
" Who wants but litllo here below,
And wants that litllo for a show."
A Real Cientlcinan.
Ho nover dresses in the extreme cf fashion
but avoids singularity in his person or habits.
He is affable with his equals, and pleasant and
attentive to Ins inferiors.
In conversation he avoids hasty, ill-tempered,
or insulting remains.
He pays punctually for his newspapers.
He never pries into another poison's affairs.
Ho detests eves-dropping as among the most
detestable of crimes.
Hu never slanders an acquaintance.
He never, uuder any circumstances, speaks ill
ot a woman.
Ho never cats an acquaintance with one who
has met with a reverse ol fortune; and
He always pays the postage on his letters of
uusiness:
Ankcdoth of Burns. Being in church one
ounday, and having some dilliculty in procuring
a seat, a young lady who perceived him, kindly
mado room for him in her pew. The sermon
was upon the terrors denounced ly the Scrip
tures upon sinners, nad Iho preacher quoted sev
eral passages to enforce his point, to which the
lady seemed particularly attentive, and some
what agitated. Burns, on perceiving Ihis, wrote
with a pencil on, tho leaf oi her Bible, the ful
lowing lines:
"Fair maid, you need not take Iho hint k
Nor idle texts pursue
'Twas only sinners that he meant, t
Not angels such ns you."
Buckwheat Cakus. As this is tho season
for buckwhoat cakes, iho following rocipo will
at this time bo valuable to those who are fond of
thorn; a friond, who has tried the experiment,
says it makes decidedly belter cakes, with half
the trouble necessary m tho usual mode of rai
sing them with yenst. To three pints of buck
wheat (lower, mixed into a baiter, add ono tea
spoonful of carbonate of soda, dissolved in wa
ter; add ono ditto of tartaric ncid, dissolved in
like manner; first apply the carbonate, stir the
batter woll, and then put in the acid; thus the
use of yeast Is entirely superseded, and cakes
" as light as a feather " are insurod. Ono great
advantage it, that the batter istcidy for bnking
as oon pi it is made.- Columbia 8py. ' ,
": u-u al a great featl and picked up ell tfie ferapi.n
Arroi-vrMF.XT bv the President! -James J.
Wright, of Ohio, to bo Consul of the. United
States for the port Sant Iago de Cuba, in the
place of Michael Mahon, deceased.
Suddbn Death. -The Trenton Sheet Anchor
announces the sudden and unexpected dieease of
Col. Kline, of Trenton, President of the Manu
facturers' and Mechanics' Bank. He was seized
on Friday, about noou, with an aeeplcctic fit,
while reading a newspaper, in ihe Indian Queen
Hotel, and expired in a few minutes.
Remarkable Fkcunmty. It is said by "the
papers" that ajoung wife at Lowell, Mass., lias
presented her husband with five children in e
leven months! An editor asks, "who can beat
that?" He might ask, who would wish fo beat
it?
Death i the Pulpit. The Rev. Wilson
Conner, a Baptist minister ia Georgia, fell dead
in the pulpit, on the fifth Sabbath in June last,
a.'ter preaching from these words 44 Verily, veri
ly I say unto you, the hour is coming, and now
is, when ihe dead shall hear (he voice ot the Son
of God, and they that hear shall live."
In titk Market. A fine bust of Henry Clay,
executed by Greenough for (he Hon. J. M.
White, at a cost of 81,100, was last week up for
public raffle, in New Orleans, at $10 a chance!
Singular Affair. At Massat, in France, on
the 20th ult., Iwo females, mother and daughter,
were each delivered of a male child within two
minules of each other. The babies were put in
to one cradle whilst the mothers were attended
to, and the result was an impossibility to distin
guish which was the uncle and which the ne
phow. Lamartit, the French author, has concluded
a contract with a Parisian publisher, by which he
has disposed of the copy right of his collected
works for the sum of 4o0,000 francs. Among
tbem are eight volumes hitherto unpublished,
consisting of tho "History of the Girondists"
and the tragedy of " Toussant rOuverture." 1
An Extenmvf. Orchard. Mr. Pell, of Ulster
county, N. Y., has an orchard of twenty thou-
and trees, bearing tho Newton pippin.
Thanksgiving. Governor Barrv has appoin
ted the 28lh ultimo, as a day cf Thanksgiving
and Praise in Michigan.
Gov. Bouck has issued an official proclama
tion, recommending Thursday, tho 12th instant,
to bo observed throughout the State of N. York
as a day of public Prayer, Praise and Thanksgir-
Jack Downing says: " There is nothing that
greases tho wheels r.f business liko newspaper
advertising. Beat's ile aiu't a touch to it."
IxTKRisrrNo DtricovERv. The theatre of the
ancient city of Parma has Leon discovered at a
considerable depth in the earth, and in a re
markable state of preservation. The' govern
ment has ordered researches to be made, and
as purchased several houses which stand in the
way of the operation.
White House. Among other consequences
of tho election of Mr. Poik, it is said, will be to
locale in the White House at Washington the
handsomest and perhaps the most accomplished
lady that ever presided in its stately hulls. Mrs.
P. has for some years been remarkable not only
for personal boauty, but for that greater charm,
graceful manners and a highly cultivated mind.
Cilley's Town. In Thomastown, Maine, the
home of the lamented Cilley, where Robinson
received 432 votes, Clay has but 285! An em
phatic expression of opinion by the whig citi
zens of that town in relation to Mr. Clay's crim
inal connection with the death of their represen
tative. A man without legs was carried to the polls
here, or in New York, lately. The N. Orleans
Picayune says he was not a lfg-n voter. Why?
Uecauso he was not a romancer. Because he
had no lea end to exhibit. Phil. Gazette.
Forcivf.ness.---A doaf and dumb person be
ing asked " What is forgiveness? " took a pencil
and wrote a reply, containing a volume of the
most exquisite and deep truth, in those words:
"It is the odor which flowcis vield when tram
pled upon. '
The Liberty party of Pittsburgh have nomina
ted David Gilleland, Esq., ns their candidate for
the Mayoralty of that city.
Tim Coon come bown. "
Is your
namoPolk?" "Yes." James Polk?"
"Yes."
"James K. Polk ? " "Yes." "Jamos K. Polk of
Tennessee?" "Yes." "President of the Uni
ted Stales elect? " "Yes." "Well, then, I'll
conic down, I am a gone coon." '
PitKTTY Good. An Irish travelling merchant,
alias a pedler, asked an itinerant poulterer tho
price of a pair of fowls.
" Six shillings, sir."
" In my dear country, my dirling, you might
buj Ihcm for sixpence apace."
" Why don't you remain in your own dear
country, then?" ,
" Case we have no sixpences, my jowel,11 said
Pt. ,
Lihel Suit. The case of the Commonwealth
vs. J. Heron Foster, for an alleged libel on
Judge Grior, was decidod in tho Quarter Ses
sions at Pittsburgh, on Saturday. The jury .re
turned a vordictof guilty. . J
Paper MiLLs.There arc at this time upwards
of six hundrod paper mills in tho United Stales
in full operation, with a capital of sixteen million
dollars, and giving maintenance to upwards of
sixty thousand persons. , . .
Art IIonbst GovEBNOR.Govcraor Ford, of
Illinois, has writteu an interesting letter upon the
subject of the Illinois Slate debt, in which 1
denounces repudiation in the strongest language,
and recommends a prospective tax for the pay
mont of life interest ol the debt. , , .....
MoS6Trols.---A Nashville paper (ells of a man
'mthat city who! snores so loud that ho is obliged
lo sleep at a house in the next street to svuid
waking himself. Oh! ''; ;
Coixipion. Tho sleamboat Domain ran into
the small steamboat Collier, on the Ohics river,
nnar Wheeling, a few days since, which caused
iho Collier to sink in a vcrr short time. One"
...an was drowned. , ' '.
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