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I ? $1,50 PER ANNUM ' g PAID IB ADVANCE. ; f"f f ITE CEHTS. ' ' Z. BAG AN, Editor and Proprietor. acjjtk's f esson. THE BARGAIN DY A. I. OTIS. Miss Kate Bartletl. (pretty, and seven teen years of ago.) sat at tlie window of her own little cottage, Sewing and look ing out upon the 'summer's gay bloom" of her garden. Site wa9 a picture of con tcntmcnt. Her friend Anne Wilbank opened the gate, aud was received at the door with open arms, by the deliglned Kate. They gosipped pleasantly awhile, and then Anne said "'Kate if 1 were you, I would set my cap for Mr. Blandon." "What ! For my dear old gtiardy ?" "Why not ? He is not over forty, and quite haudsome. lie is, besides, well-to-do in the world, and right sensible What would become of you, poor girl, with no kith nor kin of your own, if your poor palsied Aunt Bess should die ? you couldn't live here all alone." "No but yet Guardy Blandon is more like an uncle. I never thought of him as a husband." Set about it then, Kate. 'Better be an old man's darling than a young man's slave,' is a scrape of time-hallowed wis dom ; you know folks say I am a com mon sense sort of person, prudent and practical. Now I think he will make you happy." "Anne romance quietly laid on the shell l do supposo lie would he what folks would call -eligible,' but somehow I revolt at setting my cap " "Well, then let matters alone, for I know Mr. Blandon is very fond of you, and I fancy it won't be Ion? before he tells you so. And if he does ask you. don't lie so foolish as to say 'no,' to 6uch a fine lellow." "But you don't know that he cares a pin lor mi'. '1 am not given to flirts of lancy, and 1 really think so." She then expatiated upon the delight of having some one always at her feet who would pet her. and adore her, and find his whole world in her own little conscious self. Then she took her de partute. Kate sat in a pleasant reverie, thinking on Mr. Blandon's long-tried kindness to her, and that perhaps it ment more than friendship. The twilight brightened with the young moon, and as she pondered, Kate's faith in Mr. Blandon's love grew vivid. The object of her dreams interrupted them, by his actual presence. He walk ed up the garden path, and was soon seated by her side. He was a gay, fash ionable old bachelor, much at home in this little room ; so much that he was quite unceremonious, and talked or was silent as it pleased him. Generally there was a flow of lively nonsense. To-night, however, Kate could not keep it up, and they sat in silence. Aunt bess came in, and was com fortably established in her easy chair. Mr. Blandon then turned to Kate. "Come Kate, talk to me ; yon know I come here from the busy, hateful, weary world, to iny heaven of rest, and peace, and pleas ant company." This might be the exageiation of play ful flattery, or it might be the yearning sigh of a lover's soul. It was too dark to read the expression of Mr. Blandon's free, and to Kate's prepossessed mind it was the latter. "Anne was right," she thought this came from some childish pique, and quite sorry to have any feel ing but one of peace and pleasure just then, he threw much warmth into his tone as he said : ' Katie, child, why are you so silent to-niglit t I have not displeased you in any way, have 1 1 1 should be sorry to have done so, very sorry for I love you dearly, you know it very well I Come, iow, say that you loo love the old fellow, a little Int. 1 know you do, hut just doake me happy to-night by saying so. ill was only meant tor anectmnate non sense as from an uncle to a niece. Kate mistook, and her tearful, agitated reply let Mr. Blandon know it. Aunt Bess, unconscious of what was going on. here failed for aid in rising, Kata hastened to her, and Mr. Blandon stepped into the garden, to collect his wits. "Whew 1" he softly whistled, "what have I 'been, and cone, and done V pop ped the question by mistake, eh I What shall I do J I can't stand married life. No more pleasant evenings at my club ; no more boundless casen, without Any one to bother me. My room, tro. litter ed up with woman's odds and ends curie-papers slippers bah 1 Bnt she is a tidy little thing ; quiet, loo, and sensi ble, or more sensible than women tenet- ally are ; kind-hearted, and neat-handed very-fond of mo, too. That new laun dress of mine never sews my buttons on. When I had the cholera, the drunken old nurse almost poisoned me. I have attacks of rheumetism now and then, of tener than T used to, and whenever I am SHetUj Iflumal, fcbflteii to mericair nterals, fiftwtet, &ntntt, anlt sick, everything is at sixes and sevens. 1 shouldn t wonder if a devoted little wife was a good thing, after all. She has be trayed herself, too, and it is an ugly scrape lo gel out of. 1 shall not like to see her pine herself away. So well I in in for it !" He relumed to Kate, ptnposed formal ly, asked the consent of Aunt Bess, was accepted and in three months married They went to white mountains, on a wedding trip. Kate enjoyed travelling exceedingly. Mr. Blandon hinted at re turning home, at the end of two weeks. Kate by no means wished to settle down yet, aud proposed visiting Lake George ti i si. They spent a week there, and then Mr. Blandon again mentioned his willing liens to end their tour. "Stop short of Niagara? No, indeed!" So another week was spent there. "Come, now. love, our hone; -moon is over. Let us go home, I'm liied of ho tels. Let us repose in youi snug little cottage, until e decide upon a town house. You are ready now !" ' Ah, William, I Imve not seen a prai rie !" "I'll lake you next year." "No I don't want to wait till then, and why should we ? You have nothing to do at home." "But, I long for rest." "And I long to see a prairie You will gratify me much by going at least to Illi nois." ' Indeed, my dear, I think I must re fuse you (his line." "Refuse me ! Not grant such a reason able request, and when no business lakes you home 1" She looked incredulity it self. "But I have yielded twice already to your wishes. "Yes 1" as if nhe said, "that is noth ing I why noi always ?" "Well how many times am I to sacri fice mv will to yours before vou are sat isfied j" "Why, I thought my wishes would al ways be yours. I thought you would gratify every whim." She spoke like one just awaking from an illusion, and not quite sure she was not in a dream. "You expected when you married me that tour whims should be my law ?" ' I hat I should be 'an old man 8 dar ing,' she said mechanically, as it in deep thought. Mr. Blandon flushed angrily. "No, no, he muttered to inmsell. 'one is not thinking of what she is saying ! Im possible !'' 'What did yon marry me for I she asked, looking up in a frank, decided way. "Let me know what you expect ed." "I expected," he began vehemently. walking up and down the room, gesticu lating "to marry a loveing, gentle, obe dient wife, who would make me com for table and happy, till death did us pari ; and during these four weeks your own wishes a rut whims have been your great est care. Don't reproach me, William ! It seems to me we both only thought of ourselves in tins matter, and not each other, at all I must think it over." Mr. Blandon went out, and banged the door after him. Kate's strong good sense was her predominant trait. She was not going to begin to feel in this millet, until she knew what to think about it. She was very young and inexperienced; but not silly, I" uhi4 GnM "lip ntilv wanlpft good housekeeper. Well, I wanted good protector. I can be all that he wished. But to be all hoped for, he must be an idolater, or at least a devoted lover ! Ah, I thought he married me to worship me, and he ihougl I married him to worship him ! Both mistaken !" It was a long time before, with careful jus tice, she subdued her pique enough to al low that she was fully as much to blame as he was. But she did it religiously. When Mr. Blandon returned, an hour af terwards, his wife met him, half way, and looking straight at him with honest eyes, said, "William, we did not understand one another when we married. But I tee clearly what you expected now, and I am noi one to creep out of a fair bargiin. We must make the best of it, I will be just what you wish, and as I had also high expectations of you, I hope you wil be as indulgent to mo as you can. "You are almost to matter of faol for my comprehension, with your 'fair bar gains.' What do yon mean, Kate!" "I mean that! will be your house keeper, end shall expect you lo be my proiector and steward, as to money matters, our incomes are about equal.- What do you say ? Is not this plain I ' "And there is to be no love lost be tween us?" ''Why I have loved vou ever since was a chihl, and cannot of oourse hel: doing so now." And I am to oontlmie my fatherly interest in you. Will that satisfy you I Kale hesitated, but she felt that the spornful vehemence of tone was sntisfac STEUBENVILLE, OHIOfWEDNESDAY, JULY 22, 1857. tory. Love must prompt it Yes, she could feel satisfied. "Entirely, dear guardian." Mr Blandon burst into a bitter laugh. Kate smiled, and went to dress for dinner. Mr. Blandon paced the room in agita tion. "Heavens !" he cried, "who would have thought to find in that pretty cheer ful, little girl an old negotiator ! She has a regular market-woman's head, with her bargains 1 I deceived myself. I thought she loved me, would devote her self to me, cheer my life to its very close!" But as he recurred to their late conver sation, and thought of her hope of being "an old man's darling," he could but re member that she was equally disappoint ed. "A couple of fools," was his con clusion. His wife went home without another word, and strove to please him in all thini's. Everv one said she was a pat- tern wife, and Mr. Blandon said so, too, n his inmost heart, except that he thought her goodness proceed from no love for mm. only from sweet disposition, neat tabus, aud conscientious cheerfulness, which made every duty pleasant. Bui he grew morose, for he felt that he was no pattern husband. He seemed tormented with the desire to see how far be could tax her patience. He was ex uding of every wifely attention, and re luctant in performing his own part of the 'bargain tie was angry if she asked nothing of him, yet he resisted every de mand, and appeared like a boy compell ed to a task. He also displayed the most unreasonable jealousy. tie grew more wretched every day, and more intolerable. It was evident, even to strangers, thai Mrs. Blandon was not her husband's "darling." She often mVhed to think she had ever dreamed such a thing possible. Winter passed thus, and in the spring they went again the cottage. 1 he day after their ar rival Anne Wilbank and her handsome brother called. Kate walked with them n the garden, and Mr. Blandon watched the paity from the window. He was surprised out of his brown-study, by the entrance, in unceremonious country fash ion, of his own brother Robert, whom he had not seen for years. The greeting was very cordial, and they sat down lo talk over their personal affairs. "So, said Kobert lilandon, you are inanied, Bill. And are you happier ?" "No hang it ! I'm miserable." "Is it your wife's fault ?" "No," (savagely.) Tim brother look ed troubled, but forbore questions, which Mr. Blandon no sooner perceived, than he told him the state of the case, ending with, "She is a cheerful young thing, and I am a sulky old tyrant. But I can't get over it. Every time that I feel she does not love me, I could almost strike her. Her goodness for duty's sake only exas perates me. Why cannot she love me a little !" "You say," answered Robert, "that she is clteereful. I see myself that she is, and that she is very sweet-looking and pretty " He was observing her from the window. At this moment Mr. Wilbank gave each of the ladies a little bunch of sweet violets which he had gathered, and Kate looked extremely pleased with his courtly air. "Aud you sav, continued Ilobert, "that you are miserable. Now it must be either that your conscience reproaches you with want of kindness to her, or else that loveing her. vou think her unwor thy." William remained silent. "Now, Will, that face is too serene ever to have been troubled with a real heart ache, and if she don't love you, I am sure she don't love any one else. So she has certainty a heart lo bestow. If I were you, 1 would n t extend much hos pitality to that gay Lothario out there, or to any other handsome fellow, so long as I wore such dark looks myself. Do you see that she is pleased with his pettts soins V "He don't dare," cried William, his eyes flashing fire. "Slop, stop, Will. He is Jonly show ing everyday politeness, and the little air of pleased surprise I see in your wife's lace, proves, I am afraid, that she is not accustomed to much chivalno devotion on your part. Do you ever pick up her fan for her, or give her a flower I "No. Such little attentions are due from her to me, in consideration of what I have always been to her as guardian, and to iny age. I agreed to no stice trifling." "They are her right not yours. A wife ought to havo no more willing servi lor than her husband, and bv vour negli gence, you allow every gentleman, even h stranger, that she meets with for the first time, to be more attentive to ber than yourself. Any gentleman but yourself would piok up her fan) therefore, logical ly, she is less to you than to others.' Robert shrugged his shoulders, William blushed. "Ought I to be her slave I" he asked sullenly. "Nonsense, Will, Is that fellow out there a slave, because he has shown gentlemenly courtesy ! No. He only proves himself of gentle blood and breed ing. Come, I needn't lalk to you. Cast off your foolish pride, or jealousy. Cher ish your dear little conscientious wife By heavens, Will, I would win her love, and not leave it to be picked up by who ever will try for it ! Women you know must bestow their hearts 6omewhere. They are so generous, they can't keep their own hearts, to save their souls." The party from the garden entered the parlor, and were introduced to Robert Blandon. Kate's husband watched her narrowly throughout the evening. lie saw that she waa evidently, openly, much pleased with her Iriend's brother. That young gentleman devoted himself, as was but etiquette, to the lady of the house, leaving his sister to be entertained by the others. Mr. Blandon could scarcely be civil to him, and when he shook Kate's hand in taking leave, he came very near being collared, and kicked. But Robert laughing in his sleeve, laid an admonitory hand upon his brother's shoulder, and prevented mischief. The m xt morning, to Kate's surprise, she was greeted as she opened her eyes, by a kind smile from her husband, who stood, hat in hand, beside her. Her face flushed with pleasure, and his with re pentance. "Come, Kate," he said, "the morning is glorious and ihe garden beautiful. Come down there as soon as you are dressed. Will you ?" one giadlv assented, and was soon walking by his side through the full blooming lilac alley. He threw his arm around her, and turned her glowing face up with his other band, until he could look into her eyes Then he said: 'Kate, I am going to make my real declaration ! I love you truely, dear, and I ask no higher happyness than to make you an 'old man's darling,' to pet you, to cherish you in my heart, lo do all can to make you a happy wile. ' Her eyes began to overflow with tears; and lairlv beamed with love lor him He slopped to press her lips, and she stole an arm about his neck, saying, "Dear William, have I won you at last ? I do believe you are beginning to love me almost as much as I love you, because though when I married. I thought most about myself, now, nothing pleases me but to think about you. Oh, William, this is very good of you to tell me you ove me. The little bird carried no more of their conversation to mi, but I should not be surprised if that lilic alley could witness to "soft nonsense " That evening the husband and wife were again walking in the seclusion of its fragrant shades. "We must have your brother come, and stay with U9 this pleasant mouth of May, said Kate, "he will like our pretty little home, I am sure. "No, darling, he shall not come here yet, for I intend to go to Illinois, and see a prairie in May-bloom, and you will go with me, I am sure, since it will gratify me, and it is now a part of our bargain to love and please oneanolher." The Other Side. Once in a happy home, a sweet bright baby died. On the evening of the day, when the children gainereu around meir motner, mi Biumg very sorrowful, Alice, the eldest said : "Mother, you took all the care or the baby while she was here, and you carried and held her in your arms all the while she was ill ; now, mother, who took her on the other side t" "On the other side of what, Alice ?" "On the other side of death ; who took the baby on the other side, mother T She was so little she could not go alone." "Jesus met her there," answered the mother. "It is he who took little chu dren in his arms to bless them, and said, Suffer them to come unto me, and for bid them not, for of such is the Kingdom of heaven.' He took the baby on the other side." Why He Refused. Major Ben Mc- Culliwh's declination of the Utah gover norship would seem to have been founded on the most substantial reasons, jusiiiy ing him in persistently refusing to take the place, though twice strenuously urged by the President to undertake it. Alter stat ing to Mr. Buchanan various reasons for his refusal to acchpt the office to none of which the President, it is said, would listen the Major fired his reserve in forming ihe batchelor Executive that he couldn't go because he was intending to get married soon a duty the discharge of which he had neglected for forty years or more, until his day of grace had nearly expired. The argument brought Mr. Buchanan down. He at once acknowl edged his invincibility, and bowed his ac quiescence. In proportion as men are real coin, and not counterfeit, they scorne toenjoj credit for what they have not. "Paint me," said Cromwell, "wrinkles and H." Even on canvas the great hero dispised falsehood, Old Fashioned Love Letters. The following are original copies of etters between the first Governor of Massachusetts, and his wife, which were written about the year 1625. My Most Sweet Husband: How dearly welcome thy kind letter was to me, I am not able lo express. The sweet ness of it did much refresh me. What can be more pleasing to a wife than to hear of the welfare of her best beloved, and how he is pleased with her poor en deavors ! I blush to hear myself com mended, knowing my own wants. But il is your love that conceives the best, and makes all things seem belter than they are. I wish that I might always please thee, and that those comforts which we have in each other may be daily in creased, as far as they may be pleasing to bod. I will use the speech to thee that Abigal did to David : ' I will be a ser vant to wash the feet of my Lord." I will do any service wherein I may please my good husband. I confess I cannot do enough for thee ; but thou art pleased to accept the will lor the deed, and rest con tented. I have many rsasons to make me love thee, wherefore I will name two: First because thou lovest God ; and secondly because thou lovest me. If these two were wanting all the rest would be eclip sed. But I must leave this discourse and go to my household affairs. I am a bad housewife, to be so long from them ; but I must needs borrow a little time to lalk with thee, my sweetheart. I hope thy business draws to an end. It will be two or three weeks before I fee thee, though they be long ones. God will bring us to gether in his good lime, for which I shall pray. Farewell my good husband, the Lord keep thee. lour obedient wile. Margaret Winthrop. My Good wife. Although I wrote to thee last week, yet having so fit an op portunity, I must write lo thee again ; tor I do esteem one little sweet short letter of thine such as the last was to be wor thy two or three from me. 1 began this letter resterday at two o'clock, thinking to have beep, at large, but was so taken up by company and bu siness, as I could get but hither by this morming. It grives me that I have not liberty to make better expressions of my love In thee, who art more dear to me iban all earthly things ; but I will endea vor ihat my prayers may supply the de fect of my pen, which will be of use to us both, inasmuch as the favor and bles sing of God is better than all things be sides. I know thou lookest for troubles hore and when one affliction is over to meet with another ; but remember our Savior tells us, " Be of good comfort, I have overcome the world. i nereiore, my good wife, raise up thy heart nnd be not dismayed at the crosses thou meetest with in family affairs, or otherwise; but still fly to Him who will take up thy bur den for thee Go thou on cheerfully, in obediance to his holy will, in ihe course he hath set tbce. Peace shall come. J commend thee and all thine to the gra cious protection of the Lord. Farewell, my good wile, l Kiss ana i i love thee with the kindest affection, and rest thy faithful husband, JOIIN WINTHROP. How They Marry and Live. A young man meets a pretty face, falls in love with it, courts it, marries it, goes to housekeeping with it, and boasts . , j . -r. i- ; oi having a nome ana a wue to grace it. The chances are nine to one that he has neither. Her pretty face gets to be an old story, or becomes faded, or freckled, or (retted; and as the face was all he want ed, all he paid attention to, all he 6at up with, all he bargaind for. all he swore to love, honor and protect, he knows a doz en faces which he likes better, gives up staving at home evenings, consoles him self with cigars, oysters, and politics, and looks upon his home as a very indif ferent boardeng house. A family of chu dren grow up about him ; but neither he nor his "face" know anything about training them, so they come up heller skelter; made toys of when babies dolls when boys and girls, drudges when young men and women ; and so passes year after year, and notono qutet, happy homely hour is known tnrougnoui tue entire household. Another young man becomes enamor ed of a ' fortune." He waits upon it to parties, exchanges billet doux with it, pops the question to it, gets yes from it, takes it lo the parsons, weds it, calls it " wife," carries it home, sets np an estab lishment with it, introduces it to his friends, and says poor fellow that he too, is married, and has got a home. It's false. He is not married, and has no home ; and he soon finds it out. He is in the wrong box, but it is too late to get out of it. He might as well hope to escape from his coffin. Friends congrat ulate him, and he has to grin and bir it. They praise the house; the furniture, (gtntral Inttllipt. the cradle, the Bible, the new baby, and then bids the " fortune " and he who husbands it, good morning ! As if he had known a good morning since he and that guilded fortune were falsely declared to be one. Take another case. A young lady is s mil ten with a pair of whiskeis. Curl ed hair never before had such charms. She sets her cap for them ; they take. The delighted whiskers make an offer, proffering themselves both in exchange for one heart. The dear miss is over come with magnanimity, closes ihe bar gain, carries home the prize, shows it to pa and ma, calls herself engaged to it, thinks there never was such a pair of whiskers before, and they are married. Married ! Yes the world calls it so, and we will. What is the result? A short honeymoon, and then they unluckily dis cover that they are as unlike as cnalk and cheese, and not to be-made one, tho' all the preachers in Christendom pro nounce it so. N. Haven Palladium, Ludicrous Effects of the Appearance of a Comet in 1712 As everybody is on the qui vive in re gard to the comet, and all sorts of ideas are 'around in regard to it, we give the following amusing sketch gleaned from an old paper: " In the year 1712, Mr. Whiston, having calculated the return of a comet which was to make its appearance on Wednesday, the 14th of October at 5 min utes after five in the morning, gave notice to the public accordingly, with the terrtly ing addition that a total disolution of the world by fire was to take place on the Friday following. The reputation Mi. Whiston had long maintained in England, both as a divine and a philosopher, lefi little or no doubt with the populace of the truth of his prediction. " Several ludicrous events took place. A number of persons in and about Lon don, seized all the barges and boats they could lay their hands on in the Thames, very rationally concluding that when the conflagrarion took place, there wouid be the most safe'y on the water. A gentle man who had neglected family prayer for better than five years, informed his wife that it was his determination to resume that laudable practice the same evening ; but his wife, having engaged a ball at her house, persuaded her husband to put it off till she saw whether the comet ap peared or not. The South Sea stock immediately fell to 5 per cent., and the India to 11 ; and the captain of a dutch ship threw all his powder into the river that the vessel might not be endangered. " I he next morning, however, the com et apperred according to predictions, and belore noon the belief was universal that the Day of Judgment was at hand. About this time, three hundred and twenty-three clergymen weie ferried over to Lambeth, it was said, to petition that a short prayer might be penned and ordered, there being none in the Church service on that occa sion, lliree maids ct honor burnt their collection of novel and plays, and sent to the booksellers lo buy each of them a iible and Bishop 1 aylor s ' Holy Living and Dying.' The run upon the bank was so prodigious, that all bonds were employed from morning till niget in dis counting notes, and handing out specie. On Ihursuay, considerably more than 7,000 kept mistresses were legally mar ried in the (ace of several congregations. And, to crown the whole farce, Sir Gil bert Heathcote, heao Director of the Bank, issued orders to all the fire officers in London, requiring them to keep a good look-out, and have a particular eye on the Bank of England.' " Philosophy in Court. We observe that a prize is offered this year by Harvard College of 1500, lo any pupil who shall be decided by the Corpo ration to have attained the greatest skill in mathematics. The person who offer the prize, which is only proposed for this year, is Uriah A. Boyden, a Civil Engi neer of Boston. This gentleman was concerned in a suit last year, brought by him in the Su preme Court of Massachusetts against the Atlantic Cotton Mills of Lawrence, which was of a very interesting charac ter, but has never, so far s wa are aware, come before the public. Mr. Boyden had agreed to make a turbine water wheel for the Atlantic Mills, which should save, or "utilize," as it is termed, seventy-bii per cent, of the water pow er; if ho succeeded in saving that per cen centage, he was to have 12,000, if not. he was to have nothing; and for every one per cent, above that he was to re ceive $350 Mr. Boyden went to work and produced a wheel which saved, as he affirmed, ninety-six per cent. The labor involved in this result may be imraag ined, from the fact that Mr. Boyden spent more lhan $5,000 in the rrere math ematical calculations. 1 he company had provided no sufficient means of testing the question practically, and as the per entage claimed by Mr. Boydon was al- cogether unprecedented,, they contested the claim, VOL. 3. NUMBER 29.' The case went into Court. No jurj on the globe could comprehend the ques tion, and the learned Bench also lound itself entirely at fault. The case was ac cordingly referred to three well-chosen parties: Judge Joel Parker, of Lara bridge, Professor Benjamin Pierce, the mathematician, nnd James B. Francis, of Lowell, the agent of the united compa nies of Lowell in the management of the common water power, rrotessor rar ker furnished the law. Mr. Francis the practical acquantance with hydraulics, and Professor Pierce the mathematical knowledge. That learned geometer had to dive deep and study long before the problem was settled. But settled it was, at last, and in Mr. Boyden's favor, to whom the referees awarded the sum of eighteen thousand seven hundred dollars. Mr. Boyden had previously constructed turbine wheels whicn utilized respec tively the extraordinary amounts of eighty-nine and ninety per cent.; the utili zing ninety-six per cent, exceeds any thing of the kind that was ever made. The wheel is one kundred and four and three quarter inches in diameter. 2feu York Font, Who are the "Plco Ulies ?" The following paragraph from the Cynthiana News, would rather intimate that the in stignators of mobs, riots &c.t were not at all times and places confined to the Ameri can party. ''Col. Preston that old line Whig who joined ihe Sag-Nicht party, and was de feated for Congress by Lol. H. Marshall, has been indicted hy the Grand Jury of Jefferson county, for carrying concealed weapons, and for attempting to incite a riot at the late election in the city of Louisville. Bullitt, candidate for the Ap pellate Judge if in the same fix. These are two "beautiful birds," and as their actions of late have shown them to be, are "dirty ones." It is to be hoped they will now receive their just reward and be sent down to board with Zeb Ward." 3TA Paris correspondent, mention ing the recent decease of a notable French gentleman, M. de Salvandy, says : 'On his death bed, and when he could , no longer speak, he beckoned his wife to hand him a slate, when he wrote and handed to her, 'sixty years of existence thirty-two years of happiness.' Brown says that, in order to know whether this was meant for a compliment to his connubiality or his celibacy, the letter writer should have told us whether the gentleman was married at twenty eight, or thiriy-two. True Knowledge. The excellent John Newton, on being asked his opin ion on some topic, replied: "When I was young, I was sure of many things ; there are only two things of which I am sure now; one is, that I am a miserable sinner; and the other is, that Jesus Christ is an all sufficient Sa viour." This is the sum of all savin- .' knowledge, and he is well taught who gets these lessons by heart. That was rather a " fast" specimen of juvenile " Young America," not yet in ducted into trowsers, who said one day recently to his father " Father, come and get me this apple." , There being no immediate signs of his ' compliance, the young ''chip" exclaim1 ed " Father, why don't you start f I al ways start when you tell me !" Jty A Frenchman being troubled with . the gout, was asked what difference there was between that and the rheumatism. ' One very great difference," replied , Monsieur ; "suppose you take one vice put your finger in, turn the screw till you can bear him no longer dat is de rheu metism den s'pose you give him one more dat is de gout." , . iSiTTo render one happy, a clear con- science, a cheerful disposition, and a kind loving, merciful spirit, are worth more than all things else, and yet the majority of men and women are daily sacraScing ' these jewels in pursuit of glittering toys, '' which snines only to bewilder, and das-, zles to blind. Wk Western editor, whose snbscri- " bers complained very loudly that he did ' not give them news enough for their ' money, told them thai if they did not find enough in the papor, they had better read the Bible, which, be had no doubt, would ' be news to them. Harry,1 said a young lady, on the seat "' before us at the theatre, last evening,'' 'how I should like to be an actress. An actress, Henrietta; why V 'Oh 1 it must ' be so nice to be made love to in sucb pret- ty words every evening.- '.''-;'" 9Sterne used to say i ' " The most ' accomplished , way of using books is lo ' serve them as most people do lordi learn " their tides arid then wag of their scquairj- tonce," '-". '- ' . ; .