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.-C:i .. . i . v '. ; .Hi ... . . -!j it" miIJ 'i.; '..is ' :i. - -, :.'. w-t J 1'.''!, ;l r T ; ' mSti piER A N N U M SI N G L E C O.P I E S; h .r. IF PAID IN ADVANCE, 'BAOAN; Editor and Proprietor. irrom' itij EiiorV'pepart:mentf ' Arthur'B V"'"WU Arfthfllla TTrtfrhAs: I ' ""I , IT VIBOINU' r.'TVJISENO. ' She wer, this morning, a fawn color 1 d silk wrapper,' with linings and laoing H sty blue silk ; heavy tassala drop from ho corsage, nd she swings ihera careless ',','( her ringed fingers, as she walks up ' Vd'clown llie great psrlor, between the clvct'cusliioned divans and marble tables. he is young not more than twenty three --"slender and graceful, with fair com plexion, and those delicate features which 'iatinguish American women. Miss ,'lrnbelia Hughes is the only daughter of Cashier of a Hank, and she resides in a ,' rgq stone mansion in one of the princi pal st'rels in one of our largest capitals, bo ha3 enjoyed every social and eduna Ji'onal advantage which wealth and high ,'iiosiiio'rt' can furnish. She has also had , .vej:y,' opportunity of the highest moral 'ultivfttion, for sho has attended a fashion 'We'cburch all her life; sho was a Sab-r'-"jath scholar, and learned lessons in the pible before she -could peak plain, and knows who it is that said, " Unto whom much 'is given, of them much shall be re quired." ; ' And now, what have all theso blessings and 'privileges done for Miss Arabella Hifghes ! What sort of life and chnrae tcr .what' nf real spiritual growth, and be'uity and nobility have they developed in her T Her own thoughts as she walks up ianA down the parlor, engrossed in thpsn. half an hour before " rRRPntinn time,' will best answer our question. I delare !" murmured Miss Arabella Hughes, "it's quite timn I -should give 1 (mother soiree ; and this one I am deter mined shall be .select. I shan't invite Isno Ray or Myra Greene though they era such lively, agreeable girlsfor they 'don t come quite up to our set. i snau just slight all the people on Grand street. . low struck tip they all will be, and mad march hares, too but I can't help it. Pcoplo 'must make enomies to keep np a position. ' If I could only get hold of that Ger man Barort'ScJtcze, and that French Count, J?ayt) that I met nt Mrs. Rand's party the other night, I should consider mysoifrrirtrfe.' ' I must have an entirely new dress for the occasion ; a basque and skirt trimmed with Honiton lace flounces. 111 manage to1 teaze it out of Pa, and if "in fumos- and frets L must put up with It -'-, ' ThonV l'ni determined the ihing shall b off in trlorious style, and if it should, bmehpw; get to be noticed in the papers . $ one .of the most recherche parties of the rxason. mv hapDiness for this world 'quld ha' complete! '' 1 1 - : '"1 do wonder if our neighbors opposite "tsit the ton. ' in was only certain on 'hi's point I should call. However, I'll keep my eyes opeu for observation. They v :ceep a carriage and a groom; that looks " livorable; but it's so difficult always to ' )e sure that people are really the 'qnali 'rj and I should be so mortified Tto have ; r.t wlnspereu in our set man nau maao he least social descent I 1 That reminds me that I didn't return Amelia' ' Gray's bow, yesterday. Of . course I couldn't, since they have lost all thir property, nd nobody knows to what they yet may be reduced. , Amelia was a sweet girl,' though, and we were always 6&'Mimatfl a school. I really believe I - might have just nodded for the sake of old times, if Mrs. Stanley ana ner uaugh ter.bad not been riding past, at that mo roeh.t."7fhey belong to the, very 'upper crust, and It would kill me. outright to have them suppose I evflr had an acquain tanio afnons poor or common pebple. i'.There !. speaking of poor people re ' xninds "mo of the bundle and basket of pro visions '1 was to leave at Mrs. Grant's yesterday afteruoon, for that suffering ' family about which she told us. I could - not' have the carriage, because one of the ; ihqrscsr was sick i' and be seen riding d'ovvjiiiown in an omnibus 1 Of course "thaf wa not'tqbe thought, ofl But I triust remember it this afternoon j I don't . bUibv6 it will kill the people to wait one davV . There goes' the bell t I do hope I ' shall bav distinguished calls this morn- ing" a Any way, I must go and put on my , ii9w,cnfw and collar., ..;.;, : ..,!..:' And. reader, this .miserable "sham this lie witnessed of God, written of by angels, teas Arabella Hughes's life the .all she had in a little time to front eterni- ... ty wllh;! Nav.' more; we believe at this vrr linnr. ik in dm lifn. the ambition. Of thousands of women throughout our land, ; daughters of Eve, whobartered Paradise . J --. 1 H jg . I i I orranl apple ! Oh I. weakest lolly and greatest madriess that hath, ever ; visited 11 the ;childrei,of men; where are the means v appotntod fpr yourjualmgl .. , -iHave.you notheard ; hath it never been .told your what aTRift this life is! u What !) -Js 'social position t - What is wealth t- y . 'Have you jiot youown souls, and what : noover' waB in thenr from the beginninff Have vou not yourself,' with God's help, to.' develop,: and strengihen, and exalt in all good and beautiful attributes, reaching ; EMetlilg : onnwl, Dcbotci to American Jiifels, fiternto, irience, anl) every "day a .higher, moral altitude, and moulding the features of your own soul into a likeness that shall somewhat resem ble the angels t And what matters it to you, oh ! reader, with all these things to live, and to do, whether this man or that woman "feel? above you :" whether you have tho en tree of this set, or the doors of that circle are closed upon you ? Of all vanities, of all ambitions, this one of weahh and po sition seems to us the most pitiable, the most uod contemned I And what right have you to set your self above another ? What unutterable scorn must the angels flash down upon the soul who refuses to recognize another human soul, saving, " stand off, I am bet ter than thou.". And what makes you belter ? Wealth! social position ! Poor, blind-struck human soul, what will those trappings and in- igma ol time avail you in a scoro or two of years ' Oh ! woman 1 woman 1 for what a mess of pottage ire you selling your birthright. . ror, after all, this life with its petty cares and its great sorrows, its weariness, temptations,and its burdens, heavy enough for . the happiest of us, may be made a tune that shall send i is sweet inelndy thro' all eternity a crown that shall sparkle wuh jewels beyond all price or naming. 1 hen, too, the false cannot live, and the only possession we can take out from this world is the True, the Right ; and it is probable no life ever set itself to ihe right tunc, until it calmly surveyed the end, and seen time in all its true relations with eternity that one great truth we must all meet. And to you teader has it been given this great unspeakable gift ' to, live, and the picture of your daily painting, the story of your hourly writing wilt meet you on tho other side, set in hues that shall never fade. , Let not ihe opinions, tho scorn or com placency of others afleel you. Having God jm yuur side, all shall be well : and so go on with calm independence, the way He approveth, and let every . day place s6mething in the golden treasury whieh lime now holds out to you. A he Arrbellu Huirheses of this world will soon ' have gone to their own place," .and their works shall follow them ; aye, their miserable, wasted, selfish,shara lives shall follow them. But for you, reader, let not yours be that most miserable, wretch ed, pitiable thing over which angels might well weep " a life without Uod in the world." ' ' ' Science Answering; Simple Questions Why is rain water soft ? Because it is not impregnated with earth and minerals Wbj is it more easy to wash with soft water than with hard T Because soft water unites freely with soap, and disolves it instead of decomposing it as hard water does. .;. - .'. Why do wood ashes make hard water soft? 1st, Because the carbonic acid of wood ashes combines with the sulphate of lime in the hard water, Mid convetfs it into chalks 2dly, Wood ashes converts some of the soluble Baits of water into insoluble, and throws them down as a sediment, by which the water remains more pure. ' ' W hy has ram water such an unpleas ont smell when it is collected in a rain tub Or tank 1 Because it is impregnated with decomposed organio mailers washed from the roofs, trees, or the casks in which it is collected. , Why does water melt salt? Because very minuten particles of water insinuate themselves into the pores of the salt by capillary attraction, and force the crystals apart from eaoh other. How docs blowing not lood make it cool 7 It causes the air which has been heated ,by food to chango more rapidly, and cive place to fresh cool air. - Why do ladies fan themselves in hot weather ? That fresh particles of air may be brought in contact with their face by the action of fan ; and as every fresh par ticle of air absorbs some heat from the skin, this constant change makes them cool. Does a fan cool tho air ? No. it makes the air hotter, by imparting to it the heal of our face; but it cools'our face by trans- feretng1 its heat to the air. Why is there always a strong draught through .the key hole of the door I Be cause the air in the' room we occupy is warmer man .the air in tne nan; mere fore the air from the hall rushes through the key hole into the room, and causes a draught. V ' ' f' Wh'v is there always.a strong draught under the door and through the crevice on each side !, ; Because "iho cold air rushes from the Hall to'upply the void in the room caused-by the escape of the 1 warm air up me cmmney, eto. t . . a'- Why is there always a drought through tho vtndow "Crevices T .- uecausd ' the et- tcrnal air, being colder than the air of Ihe room we accupy; rushes through tbe win dow crevices to supply the deficiency -caused by the escape of the warm air tip the chimney, etc : ;? -:3 L ,-1..'.' ;.:') b I If you open the lowor.sash qf a tfindow . I . '. : ... ' ... .. . & ' I .1 : ... ....... , STEUBENVILLE, there is more draught than if yon open the upper sash. TiXplam the reason of this. If the lower sash bo open, cold, external air will rush freely into the room and cause a great draught inward; but if the upper sash be opened, the heated air nf the room will rush out and, of course there will be loss draught inward. liy which moans is a room better ven tilatedby opening the upper or lower sash ? A room is easier ventilated by opening the upper sash ; because the hot, vitated air, which always ascends toward ceiling, can escape moro easily. Is y which means is a hot room more quickly cooled by opening tho upper or owcr asli f A hot room is cooled more quickly by opening tho lower sash, be causo tho air can enter mure freely at the owcr part ol tho room than at tho upper. Why does the wind dry damp linen? Because dry wind, like a dry sponge, imbibes tho particles of vapor from the surface of the linen as fast as they are formed, Why are tho galleries of all public places hotter than the lower parts of the buildings? Because the nir of the build ings ascend, and all the . cold air which can enter through the doors and windows, eeps to the floor till it has become heated. Dr. Brewer's Guide t Science. Prof. Morse Beforo Congreus. At the recent Atlantic Cable glorifica tion in Indianapolis, Ex Gov. Wallace gave ihe following interesting account of the first Telegraph bill in the house of Representatives of the United States. Mr. Wallace said : Some sixteen years ago 1 had the honor of a seat in Congress as the Representative ot this, district, ihe Whig party -had just achieved a great victory. They held possession of the" Government. In the midst of tho political strife nround us two remarkable persons appeared Espy, the "Storm King,"and Morso.the Electrician. bach was asking for assistance. Each became the butt of ridicule, the target of merciless arrows of wit. They were voted downright bores, and the idea of giving them money was pronounced far cical. They were considered monoma niacs, and as such were laughed at, punned upon, and almost despised. One morning 1 entered tbe House of Representatives, and, to my astonishment, saw a gentleman rise from bis soat whom I had never heard open his mouth before, unless it was to vote or address the Speaker. "I hold in my hand," he said, "a resolution whioh I respectfully ofl'er for the consideration of the House." In a moment a page was at his desk, and the resolution was transferred to the Speaker and by him deliverod to the Clerk, who lead : "Resolved, That the committee of Ways and Meana be instruc ted to inquire into the expediency, of appropriating $30,000 to enable Professor Morse to establish a line of telegraph be tween Washington and Baliimore." The gentleman who offered it was Mr. Ferris, one of the Representatives from the City of New York, a man of wealth and learn ing, but modest,. retiring and diffident in his demeanor. , It being merely a resolu tion of inquiry, it passed without opposi tion, and, out of regard to tho mover, without comment. In time it came to the committee of Ways and Means, and when in its oider it came before the com mittee, a scene presented itself that I shall not soon forget. The committe was composed of five Whigs and four Demo crats. The latter were Mr. Atherton, of New Hampshire, John W. Jones of Vir ginia, Frank Pickens of North Carolina, and Dixon II. Lewis of Alabama. On the Whig side were Millard Fillmore of New York, Jos. K Ingersoll of Pennsyl. vania, Sampson Mason of Ohio, Thus II. Marshall of Kentucky, and David Wal lace of Indiana, all of whom, both Whigs and Democrats, excepting your humble servant had by their public services, and brilliant, talents, acquired a national rep utation. The clerk of the committee read the resolution. The chairman Mr. Fillmore, in a clear, distinct voice; said : 'Gentlemen, what disposition- shall be made of it?" There was a dead pause around, tbe table. . No one seemed in clined to take the initiative, I confess that, inasmuch as the mover of the resolution in tho" Hduso was a Democrat, I expected the Democratic side of the committee to stand god-father to it thero. But not a bit of it. They gave it no countenance ; , At length Mr, Ingetsoll or Mr. Maqpn, I'oannot now recoiled which, broke the ominous silence by , moving , that the committee instruct the chairman to report a bill to the House; appropriating $30,000 for the purpose named in the resolution. This, as the saying is, Vbro t n all up standing.". , No speeches were made. 1 he question was called for. , 1 he yeas and nays, were taken; alphabetically, and to my astonishment, I lound every Dem ocrat voting No Fillmore, Mason, In geraoll and Marshall voting in the aflir malive.'- My vote would "decide the question either way: r To tell the truth, I had paid no attention to the matter-' OHIO, ; WEDNESDAY, Liko the majority around me, I consid ered it a great humbug. I had not the faintest idea of the importance of my voto. But as fortune would have it, I recollected 1'iat Mr. Morse was then ex perimenting in tho Capitol with h!s tele graph. He had Btretched a wire from the basement story to the ante-room of the benate Chamber, and it was in my power 'to satisfy myself in regard to its feasibility. I determined to try it. I asked leavo to consider my voto. It was granted. I immediately stepped out of the committee room, and went to the anto-chamber. I found it crowded with Representatives . and strangers. I re quested permission to put a question to the "madman" at the other end of the wire. It was granted immediately. I wrote the question and handed it to the telegrapher. The crowd cried read ! read I" In a very short time the answer was received. When written out the same cry of "read ! read !" came from the crowd. To my utter astonishment, I found that the madman at the other end of the wire had more wit and force than the Congressmen at this end. He turned the laugh upon me completely. But as you know, we Western men aro never satisfied with one fall; that never less than two out of ihree can force out of.us an acknowledgement of defeat. So' t put a second question, and there came a second answer. If the first raised a laugh at my expense, the second con verted that laugh into a roar and a shout, I was more than satisfied. I picked up my hat, bowed myself out of the crowd, and as I passed along tho halls and pas sages of the Capitol, that shout followed tne. As a matter of course, I voted in the affirmative of the motion then pend ing before tbe committee, and it prevailed. The chairman reported tho bill. The House, if I mistake pot, passed it nem con, without asking the yens and nays And thus concurring, the Whig portion ot that committee, and that old New Yorker, played tho part of Isabella toward Mr. Morse in this last struggle to demon strate the practicability of the most amazing invention of the age, the Mag netic Telegraph ! If the committee had ignored the proposition, there isno telling what would have been the result. That tho experiment would have been finally made, no one can entertain a doubt. .But when or by whom is the question. It was not within tho range of individual fortune to make it, and, if it was, none but Professor Morse would have hazarded it. Had he failed it might have shared the fate of the Ocean Telegraph. Al though conceived years ago, as I read in a Cincinnati paper a few days since, by the editor of The Commercial, and appli cation was made to Congress for assis tance, which was entirely disregarded, yet English sagacity seized with avidity what American supinenesshad neglected, and took the initiative in this magnificent enterprise, and plucked from American brows the glory' of the achievement. 'Party demagogues in Indiana, says an exchange, used the telegraph vote of Gov. Wallace to his disadvantage, and nucceeded in making the people generally regard it with utter contempt. One old Shelby county farmer 'urged the Gov ernor to deny having voted for the tele graph, and a Jerry Johnson, to show his contempt for the humbug, suggested that "We would next hear of the people driving God Almighty's lightning across the ocean to split Europe into fragments." From the Memphis Appeal. Who Welcome a Sabbath Morning ? The pale, haggard seamstress; for it rings with it rest rest for her weary limbs, her aching eyes and throbbing temples. The week's toil is over, and she has time to leave the dust and lono- lyness and squalidncss of her garret home for a walk in the gld sunshine and the freshi health giving breeze; time to visit the graveyard, where the daises blossom above her loved and lost ; time to look over the pressed flowers, the locks of hair, the end of faded ribbons, the moth-eaten letters and other mementoes' of thn dear departed ; time to bold" converse with the memories they invoke; time to weep over the graves of departed hopes and pleasures and time tiod be thanked! to gain 'strength for the weary morrow. Who welcomes a sabbath morning ? The clerk, who all the week has been shut in brick and 'mortar- walls, 1 bowing and scraping to hoops and bonnets, withj a smile on his moustache, but a "deuce take her!" in his heart; 11 How anxiously has he looked forward to the Sabbath as a day on which he could venture to say he "was a Tree man and no: longer' under the feminine yoke I How 'gladly' does he-welcome the opportunity of, reading the last paper, of proposing matrimony to pretty black-eyed Nellie, or better still, of indicting a letter home to'her, whose heart true as the pole to its star is ever sleeping or waking, with her absent boy ?!-'" ''"' '-" ' .' -'j. '' - Who ' welcomes' a Sabbath morning ? The littld school children;- who' have Lad the misfortune during the previous week September ,,8, -1858. to be domiciled in some "Do the boy's Hall with a Bccond edition of ''Squcers as a teacher.' Hurrah ! you little pina fores ! Pile McGufley's readers md Webster's spelling books on the shelf I--! there are no lessons to bother your little heads with to-day. Hang up the ferule I On the blessed Sabbath you can wink at least without the dread of having it applied to your little trembling outstretched palms. He is away to the woods whore the birtla aro warbling thtir Maker's praise j where the butterfly spreads its bright wings, and the bee gathers honey from the wild flowers ; where the black berries sparkle like jet in the merry sun shine ; where the leaves whisper music when kissed by the gentle zephyrs, and when the brooks go rippling, rippling over the smooth white pebbles. Who welcome the Sabbath morning? The editor who has no Monday paper to issue. Reprieved from pen, ink and pa per; from manufacturing, press and prin ters ; from boots, cravat and coat, lie is free in slippers and dressing gown to chew his breakfast before swallowing it, and to diink his coffee below boiling point ; free to take a good long look at his tidy littto wife, to have a nice pleas ant chat with her in that cool varandah ; to tell her what a handsone dashing little rib she is, and hnw he could not manage any way to do without her; and how it would break his editorial heart to loose her free to lake the rosy dimpled chil dren on', bis knee, and to kiss -them, and say all manner of funny pleasant things to them yes, to do this (but docs he doit?) , Who welcomes the Sabbath morning? "Our colored brethren" as the good old preacher (God bless them !) would say. Reader, have"" you eyer seen on the habit able globo a happier or more contented class than our negrocsjin their ''Sunday clothes !" with their leeth looking like lingo pearls in contrast with their smiling sable faces as they go gallanting each oth er to their neighbors houses.or to church, or a "black berry gathering" their faces as free from care as those of romping childhood. Who welcomes the Sabbath morning? The humble Christian, for it is 4 time to thrust business from the thoughts and to meditate on the great goodness and mercy of God, a time to review the past and strengthen by prayer the fainting spirit; a time to take another heaven ward step, to break the fetters which chain tho wings of faith to the portals of the New Jerusa lem. Who welcomes a Sabbath morning ? All of earth's weary toiling children ; all the pure in heart; all on whose spirits is incribed "holiness to ihe Lord" all who can say with an unfaltering tongue 'Abba, Father I my Lord and my God 1" Dear reader, do you welcome a Sab bath morning ? Then on your knees, return thanks to that kind Father who set apart and consecrated the blessed day. Do you not welcome it I Then still on your knees, beg for meroy . HETTY HAWTHORN. The Empress Eugenie Doubts of her Paternity. The lofty and prominent station attain ed by that distinguished lady who shares the throne of Franco with Napoleon III., has attracted public attention of late to somo law proceedings whiuh took place some time past at Yalladolid and Asevallo r-proccediogs which throw some doubts upon the paternity of that illustrious lady. There has been a great demand for the Spanish law joournals of 1827, and' the following year. On eoarching through the files of that period we find the sub joined account of the nullity of a divorce pronounced in 1813 between a Spanish wife and husband ':' Don Joaquim de Montijo, captain of tho regiment of Segovia, married, in 18 10 Donna Maria de Penansando, belonging to a respectable family of Fontepelayo, near Segovia. Shortly after his marriage, lio .was ..taken prisoner of war and was carried off to franco, whither he was fol lowed by his wife, as soon as she ascor tained that he had obtained an appoint ment as commandant of Prisoners of war, which made some addition to his pay. Although Donna Maria went to 1 ranee in compliance with her husband s request, she does not appear to have lived happy wiwi uiin. dissensions soiieu uio un- mes'.io hearth mutual, ,, recriminations, each oharging tho other Twith , adultery, brought about a separation. : Don Joaquim having lost, his' .appointment , in , conse quence of the removal of the prisoners of war from, liourges to JJion,, took service in the French army, being driven there by want. His wife finding, again thai he had the means of supporting her, went to his regimental quarters, but was repelled oy mm wins uisuain, snu rciusca numis . . mi J , f . - . sion. ineir uivorco was nnaiiy pro notinced by the Frenoh law .couria In No vember. 1813. . On the i return'of Eerdi nand VII. to Spain, Doniia Maria returned to Fontenolavo 'With" lpr rn nnod.iwn years 'and a half,1 'and lived there for six years with her family; Her husband re Central 'IntcIItgcncf. : mained in France till 1820, when Ferdi nand took oath to renew the constitution of 1812. He then returned In Spain.and resided at his native town of Arovallo, where he had some property ; from thence he wrote to his wife to claim his son. She refused to send the child. Don Joaquim went to exercise his paternal right, but Donna Joaquim returned home without his child, but after a few weeks he wept back to Fontepelayo, fell in love ngain with his wile, and proposed that they should live together again and say nothing about the divorce, which was known only to her family and brother. She returned with him to Arevalo and there resided with him until October 30,1828, when he died from the effects of a fall fioro his horse., Her son inher ited his father's properly, under the guar dianship of bis mother, who continued to reside at Arevello. We say her son, be cause, although at the death of Don Joa quim sho had a daughter, aged line months, the child died shortly after tho death of its father. In tho. year 1830 she had also the misfortune to lose her son, and her grief was cmbitiercd by the conduct of her late husband's brothers, Don Antonio and Don Arantio de Montijo. who ordered her to leave their lato bro's house, she having no right to call herself his widow, having by her infamous con duct necessitated a divorce. She refused to leave Jier hotiRe. Proceedings were instituatcd before the Corregidor of Arev allo,Don Joaquim Beneito, who delivered his sentence on the lOih of June, 1827, that whereas a divorce had been pro nounced in France in 1813, it had not been annulled by after cohabitation ; con sequently, in , fault of heirs direct, she must restore the properly of Don Joaquim do Montijo to bis brothers. Against this sentence Donna Maria went to the Royal Chnncory of Valladolid, and after many months' li'igation the original judgment was quashed. "Whereas Donna Maria do Montijo, and .whereas the divorce was pronounced in a foreign country, then under the rule of a usurper, under a government as illegal as irreligious,- and not recognized in Spain; and whereas such divorce had been annulled by the ultimate remorso of tbe parties, declares Donna Maria entitled to the life interest in the property of her late husband, to revert to his brothers at her demise. Now, dates are troublesome things. Tho French Monitieur of the 4th June ast announced that the Empress Eugenie had attained her thirty second year on the receeding day, and had received the con gratulations of her friends on the occasion. According to the official Abm7iewr,there fore, ihe Empress Eugenie was born on the 3d of June, 1826, and according to the undisputed testimony of registers and other documentary evidence, her father died on October 30, 1823, from tbe effects of a fall from bis horse. Theso things doubtless admit of explanation, but none lias yet been given. Indeed, the French Gazelle dc Tribunax of September 21, 831, which contains the verbatim report of this cause eclebre, has been forcibly abstracted by Imperial ukase from the files of that Journal which are kept for reference in the reading rooms. If I were a Man. Don t I wish that I wero a man ! Wouldn't I set the beaver-hatted popula tion an example of brilliant perfection! Wouldn't 1 make myself generally agrcca' ble to all the ladies, and talk to them as if they had souls above bonnets f What a glorious man I should make! I ;':. : 1 wouian t stand on the Hotel steps and puff clouds of villainous tobacco smoke in to the eyes of all the pretty girls that go past, nor spit on-the pavements to spoil their little shoes and injur6 their tempers I wouldn't 'sot mv hu?e heels down on the trains of their silken drosses, to tear cm half off; and 1 think I'm not quite sure, but I think I'd knock down the first brute who dared to complain of the circum ference of their garments .,' .. , And whorl they came into a car or om nibus.'"! wouldn't stick my nose into I newspaper, or look abstractedly out of tho window, nor get up grumbling, AlwayB tho way with womon 1" , Not a! bit of it I I'd spring up like a patent India rubber ball, and if the old bacholor on the right hand side, and tho Bpruce clerk oh the left hand side, didn't compress themsolvcs into the smallest space, to hiako room for tho crinolines, I'd know the reason why ! 1 And hen, whon I get married (tor to wtitif unA urns 1 Arantiwl f nni tn nntf lllfi milliner's bills of somo blossed littlo bit of womankind 1) wouldn't I make amodel husband I Do you suppose I should bother her sweet life' out of her, by grumbling be cause a paltry button had dropped off a shirt collar, or a string off a dicky 1 Do you ill ink I'd explode like a campheud lamp every time I found a rip In my gloves! I'd like to Bee myself stooping to such lit- tleness. .- . ,.!...-, 1A i r 1 ' I wouldn't consult the almanac every ,1 F I y E CENTS., VOL. 4 NOi: 36. time she bought a now bonnet, to see just how many weeks she had worn the old one ; and I wouldn't snarl like a cross tiger-cat whenever the coffee hoppened to bo cold or tho beefsteak raw, just as if I wonted her to abase herself in dust and ashes ? and burn up her rosy littlo face beforo the kitchen fire, while I sat with my heels on the table, reading the; paper In tho next room. I wouldn't ;uso profane language when she asked me to button up her sweet little gaiter boots.'or fasten hor gloves, or even to carry her parcels down Broadway on a rainy day which last, I consider to bo an infallible tCBt of patience a"nd mepk ness. . n I wouldn't gorgo myeclf with wine, and oysters, and cigars at a fashionable- down town restaurant, while my wife dined at homo on cold mutton, and then look as black as an overcharged thunder-cloud, when the grocer's " little bill" came in ; I wouldn't expend a small fortune on diamond shirt studs, extravagant, broadcloth and fancy canes, and then mutter about ''hard times," when she ventured to ask. me for a half a dollar to buy check for baby's aprons. And I rather think I'd go shopping with her too, when Bhe hinted to that effect, in stead of inventing excuses about Smith, Brown or the Club aye, and pay her bills too, without screwing up my mouth as if 1 had tho cramp in my face ! And if she looked into a shop wlndow'and admired a thirty dollar collar, I'd walk straight in and boy it for Uer, instead of foigning to be absorbed in the signs opposite,,and "for- , getting to hoar" what she said, ' ;"'.''," j When I came home at night, I wouldn't make a bear of myself, behind the evening, paper, and answer eavagely," when aho( timidly asked what I was reading, "wo men can't understand politics I" No, in-' deed ! I would read hor all the annefidotes, play with the children, pull the pussy's ears, and tell her how becoming her now silk was. That's the way to keep tho wo men good naturod, take my word for it , and what prettier Bight is there in all tho world than a good humored woman ! Mind, I don't ask the incorrigible old bachelors ; first, because it isn't any of their business, and second, because they are not judges of the article. But put the question to any sensible fellow, between eighteen' and twenty-eight, and sco what he'll say. ' ' ; I'd make a point of asking my wife al ways before I went to vote, and doing just as she said about it then I'd bo sure to be always right. And if any ' bachelpr' friend of mine had the impudence to ask' me to an oyster supper, without including! my wifo in the Invitation, do you suppose 1 I'd go! Ask my mother-in-law about that I wouldn't go to evening parties,' and ' flirt desperately with other ladies, and talk about " my poor, dear wife, whose ill ' health precluded her enjoyment of society ,' when I knew very well that Bhe was sit ting at home alone with' the cat, and cry-' ing her eyes out ovor ono of my ragged old coats. - - - Good gracious ! wh' a Vide field for, improvement there is among the benighted ' sons of Adam ! It puts me completely out of breath to th'nk of half tho reforms I'd ' make. Oh ! if I only wero a man f ' ' ' Effects of Coffee on Disease. ; ; Dr. Mosley observes, in bis "Treaties: i on Coffee." that the great use of the ar ticle in France is supposed to have abated , the prevalence of . tho. gravel. In i tho trench colonics, where coffee is more used than m the English,' as well as in ' Turky, where it is the principal beverage, 1 not oniy tne gravei out tne gout is scarcely ' ever known. Dn Faur relates,' ar an ex-' traordintiy instance of tho effect of coffee '. in gout, the case of Mr. Doveran, who was attacked . with gout at the age of twenty-five, and had it severely until he.i was upwards ot nay, with chalk stones t in the joint of his . hands and feetjjuit ; for four years preceding the tints-" when"' ihe account of his case had beer) given ttf' Dr. Faur to lay before the'publio, ho had, by advice, used coffee, and had no return' of the gout afterward. , . "v- ..... t Jt' t The Coolbst Ykt. A good anecdols1 is told of a man . njmed Bendy, a most t confirmed 1 drinker, who would never diink wiih a friend or in 'public, and a!-' ways' bitterly denied, when a littlo to steep, ee tasting liquor. One day some ' bad witnesses had concealed themselves ,' in his room,' and' when Ihe liquor, was,, running down his throaty seized him with , his arm crooked and his mouth open, and v holding him fast, asked bim with an air : .. of triumph, ''Ah, Bently, bave we caught you at last i . ion never drink ba"-' Now one' would ; have ' supposed "that Bently would, have acknowledged tho corn. J Not he; with the most grave and !niYrrf6ihlfl fnoo. )ib :.. - ' digaifioa maimer baid, KJmnlemen, my . name is not Bently !''