Somotimes Full of 'Em.
Q. "There U ouly one sparker In a
motor car. Is there?" A. "Not neces
sarily. The nun. her frequently varies
with the number of couples carried.
Kansas City Tinea.
Their Similarity.
"A rolHiig stone gathers no moss,'
remarked tho provc-rb dispenser. "And
like the human hih roller," rejoined
the thoughtful thinker, "it also gravi
tates downhill."
Heard in a Restaurant.
Gera!d "On account of their simi
larity In dress It's hard to tell a gentle
man rron a w&H.-r." Gcraldiue "But
doesn't the waiter usually own hi3
dress, suit." Bohemian.
Shows Influence of Mind.
Careful estimates show that the av
rae business man walio a mile Id
181, Tr.lr.utes, while the ordin:ir
loiter r, who has no business on hi
mind, requires 29 minuter to walk it
Made His Diagnosis.
What diasnosl3 did the doctor
make of your wife's illness?" "Said
she is su3eriag from overwork." "Is
that so?" "Yes, he looked at hei
tongue and reached his decision im
mediately. Angel's Gifts.
If, Instead of a gem, or even of a
flower, we could cast the gift of a love
ly thought into the heart of a friend,
that would be giving as the angels, I
suppose, must give. George Mao
Donald. Severe.
"Aw, I suppose you don't keep doa
biscuits in this benighted village?"
asked an English tourist contemptu
ously of the general shopkeeper. "Oh,
yes, we do!" replied the man.' Ta a
bag, or eat 'em here, sir?
Don't Know How to Live.
There are people who go about the
world looking for slights, and they are
necessarily miserable, for they find
them at every turn, especially inv
aginary onis. They are morally il
literate for they have never learned
now to live. Henry Drummond.
Renewing Hostilities.
Ni -,! y "I've discovered there is one
state ia which divorce is wholly un
nece;; ry." Mrs. Nagley (sharply)
Whi. !i is that?" Nagley "The state
of single blessedness!" Illustrated
Sunday Magazine.
Earth Mulch.
Mar.; farmer.-; do not know that a
pad? full of fresh earth put about
trees, l;:itho3 or vines will protect
them trcin mice. Clear away the grass
and loaves and a minute's work will
suffice to protect the tree.
Madeira's Equable Climate.
Med. ira is said to have the most
equab:.j climate in all the world. In
snrr.iu ; tuo average heat is a little
above 70. and in the winter it seldom
goes h!ow CO. For this reason. It
Is a favorite resort for invalids, espe
cially those suffering from tubercu
losis and pulmonary troubles.
The Dublin Cab Driver.
In few cities in tho world is your
Jehu more rich ia fancy than in Dub
lin, more skilled in embroidered
words, better able to sting and wither
with the cunning of his quick scorn.
It Is a f-tst of that "impassioned logic
which outruns the hearer in its fiery
courso." Dublin Freeman's Journal.
Inhabitants of the Museum.
Little Dorothy had bt-en taken by a
friend to visit the mu.-.eum and was
Tery much interested in the stuffed
animals in the glass cages, and also
In the statuary. On returning home
she ran eagerly to her mother, say
ing: "Oh, mamma, we saw some real,
live, stuffed animals and some sam
ple people."
Work with a Will.
We are not sent into this world to
do anything into which we cannot put
our hearts. We have certain work to
do for our bread and that is to be
done strenuously; other work to do
for our delight and that is to be done
heartily; neither is to be done by
halves or shifts, but with a will; and
what is not worth this effort is not
to be dene at all. John Ruskin.
Source of Poison Dr-ers.
The action of foods and l.nu'vs on
their receptacles may produce d a.'ly
poisons. Acid fruits re k--d i:i toyp r
or sine 10 is are a 1 an i ; r sou-ce o'
danger. A man who was ta'cn ill in
the himtlns field with y os
mineral poisoning To.; :;" 1 t! :t ' 1.. 4 .
Old brandy he can:.-! ii. "i-- V.
pocket had dissolve- it" ; i;e ( ?
per in the su-rlh-n s Iw- ,'::-',
Crown-Up Chi'dren.
It ia not only the frivolous whom
the spi.it of cbV ii-lmei-s is just now
leadius i - r iy. Siliimrs is the fash
Jon ever! 2.:,.: : the wise. Women
especial. v f ! a kind of childish
shrewdi e s in ta'kir- of r . nous sub
jects. Like children who have the
habit of romancing, they lose the
sento of reality, and beu-e they nev
er talk exactly a3 they think they be
gin to think exactly as they talk,
London Spectator.
Sorreh't Rc:-;!i en Cc:'-;.
At dinner oae cv-t ' - a ' . .' 1:
actress was im st ' ' '. -
'young lieU'ciMi: v.h.-i r.r. '
' He was m!?r.tiiy j-: : . .! or L : '
such good ier-iS V. 1 ;t " " :
SwZvly sh.: s::i '. ! r ' '
pretty manner: "f - ' ; a '1 ".
part in a new r'ny. ! 1 . .
watchjag 3011 ever :-::"acc- v - v :j
irv-uevd. You iout mind. d- you"
Hay for Sale.
I have about twenty ton of good haj
for sale. Will be delivered in town at
reasonable price. See thi3 office or
phone 23.
Rooms Tor Rent.
1 have three nice rooms heated by
hot water, good location, furnished,
for rent at reasonable prices. See
MRS. AVER1LL, 3-ltx
EaEt Normal Avenue.
Stock Herded.
I have fine wheat pasture, good pas
ture, all fenced and plenty of shelter
and feed and should like a bunch of
cattle to pasture this winter. Prices
reasonable. Ad 'ress or see me
GEORGE FORSTER,
Ii frurr. F. O. Kareae
Cold weather is here. Nothing is
nicer than mince pics. We have some
elegant-mincc-meat at our shop oppo
site the post office. HOFFMAN'S.
For Sale.
One Brass mounted double buggy
Harness, almost new; one power feed
grinder with new burr?, capacity twen
ty-five bushel per hour; one corn
shelter in good order; one washing ma
chine little used. See or phone
W. A. SMITH, Hays.
Turnips for Sale.
We are digging our turnips. They
are fine and we offer some for sale at
reasonable prices, big or little amounts
For terms and particulars phone me
any day between twelve and one o'clock
while in at dinrer. Phone No. 1220.
CHRIS PEDERSON.
Farm southeast of Reservation.
C. M. HOLMQUIRT, '
attorNey-at law.
HAYS CITY. KANSAS,
OFFICE OYER
1ST NATIONAL BANK.
hone IPO
E. A. Rea,
71 TTORXEY TIT L71 W
Office Over Poitotfice F I tr I.
J. IJ. CATUDAL, m.o. A. SILVCRSTEIN mo
Res. 1 hone 46 Res. Phone 276
Catudal & Silverstein,
PHYSICIANS and SURGEONS
OFFICE. CITIZENS' BANK BLOCK
PHONE 34
HAYS, KANSAS
DR. L. A. MARTY
PHYSICIAN 5 SURGEON
Office over 1st National Bank
Hays, Kansas.
All calls will be answered promptly
day or night.
PHONE 273
VM. JORDAN,
RESIDENT DENTIST
Phone 84. , Hays, Kas.
Have You Seen It?
Our New Illustrated Pre
mium Gatalog is ready for
you. It shows a world of new
and up to date premiums.
The value of the Lee cou
pon has been materially in
creased; you will be sur
prised at what you can get
for just a few coupons.
Premiums are offered for
from two coupons to seven
thousand coupons.
Our sales sheets offer four
coupons for every sale made
for your home grocer.
The line of Lee Pure Food
Products is the only full line
of high grade food products
with which premiums are
given.
Ask your grocer for Lee
Brand of anything in gro
ceries from A to Z and see
that every label
Bears
This
Trade
Mark
Send two cent stamp for
our New Illustrated Gatalog.
Premium Department
The H. D. Lee filer. Co.
Salina. - - Kansas
Beauty at the Breakfast Tab!.
To look her be;t a worn -.n .should
rlae slowly, dress by decrees, make
her toilet as if time were at a stand
still, and stroll down to the first meal
of the day without the slightest trace
of having hurried or of brinr in a
hurry, either for ie?reshment or news,
j Women who follow this plan are al
; ways -those who are most admired,
! but from the hostess' point of view it
is not to 'be recommended. Ladies'
Pictorial.
The Mistral.
The mistral is a cold northwest
wind which does much damage at cer-
taia seasons in France and Italy.
I From the close of autumn to the be
; ginning of spring, it is especially vio
I lent. It dries up the soil and causes
dangerous storms on tha Mediterrano
; 4a &.
Under tho organization of the famous
National River Transportation " Con
gress lately held in Washington, which
Alex Philip attended as a delegate,
there was organized a Missouri River
Navigation Congress, which held its
session at Omaha. Mr. Philip also at
tended and there was appointed by
Gov. Drake of North Dakota, President
of the congress, as one of the directors
for Kansas. His business will be to
awaken the interests of the peopie
of the state to the great importanca of
river transportation from Kansas City
to the gulf, which is bound to come
some time and many believe now is the
time to urge it. The next Congress
is to meet at Kansas City next year.
Next Monday in our city will be cele
brated an unusual occurance, the Silver
Jubilee of Very Rev. Father Charles,
its Pastor, in remembrance of his 25th
anniversary to his ordination to the
holy priesthood. At ten o'clock there
will be solemn High Mass by the jubi
lariam in the church with a sermon by
Rev. Father Jerome, In the evening
there will be a fitting celebration, to
which all are cordially invited at St.
Joseph's Hall
He was born in Baden in 1859, and
when 21 came to America and joined
the Capuchin order in 1880, was ordain
ed in Dec. 1884 and on Christmas cele
brated his first Holy Mass at Cumber
land. He has worked faithfully at
many charges and at Pittsburg, Penn.,
during his term he erected St. Augus
tines church at a cost of $225,000 and it
was he who first set in motion the es
tablishing of the Catholic college at
this city. He went to Rome as one of
the International delegates to take part
in the general election of the order and
last July he was assigned to St. Jos
eph's church in this city.
Twenty-five years of such faithful
work for the welfare of souls and up
buildirg of his church is surely worthy
of the highest celebration possible and
it is proper that our church should
celebrate it with ppecial so'emrities,
and we-hope he may live twenty -five
years rr.ore to er joy and push forward
the gcod work. Since coming here he
has proven a very welcome addition to
our religious people, who gladly joir
in this eeletrotien e?en if they can't
be present at the services.
Saturday Afternoon Club.
January 8
PROGRAM:
Hostess.. .... . Mrs. Snyder
Roll Call
Country Life Mrs. Griffith
Discussion
How to Keep the Boy on the Farm
Mrs. A. Philip
Modern Aids for the Farmer's Wife
Mrs. Schrenkler
Harry Frees e
Notary Public
Woman's Natural Sense.
One woman's natural sense Is worth
60 men's trained reason in a predica
ment. New York Press.
Selfish Philosophy.
Pliny: It is best to profit by the
madness of others.
When Love Grows Cold.
When love grows cold there are like
ly to be hot times around the house.
Advice for the Lovelorn.
When a girl begins to talk a greai
deal about some other man It is an
excellent time to propose to her.
Appreciation.
If courtesy were expensive more
people might be inclined to regard
it a? a good thing.
He Was Thankful.
Willie was very proud of his first
pants. That night, when he said his
prayers, he said: "Dear God, I am
thankful to say I have on pants now."
Delineator.
Necessary Optimism.
"The chronic optimist who says h
'loves the cold weather, " says the
Philosopher of Folly, "is usually the
man who has not money enough to go
south for the winter."
Eefore Ripe Wisdom Comes.
There is a dangerous stage in every
one's career when his friends are
afraid to tell him a compliment, for
fear it will make him more conceited.
Boston Globe.
From "Guesses at Trcth."
Some men treat the God of theft
father as they treat their father's
friend. They do not deny him: h,r no
means: they only dony thp;ns;i . 0 to
him, when he is good noash.' to call
upon them. J. C. ad A. W. Hare.
Left Them Thinking.
Counsel (to the jury) "The princi
pal fiult of the prisoner has been his
unfortunate characteristic of putting
faith in thieves and scoundrels of the
basest description. I have done. The
unhappy man in the dock puts implic
it faith in you, gentleman of the jury!"
Health.
Pad as conditioss are to-day, great
progress has been made during the
last 20 years. People are growing
more careful as to what they eat and
drink. There is no city that is not
bestirring itself to Improve its water
supply and its system of sanitation.
The demand for more fresh air is al
most a fad In progressive - coraraasi-
Our Russian farmers were never
known to buy so liberally for Christmas
as this year.
This ia Christmas week. Men look
to the future, while women look for
the "present"
Here is the week the children turn
the hose on old Santa . Claus and no
chree-quarter inch hose will answer.
They can't get a big encugh one. It
is also the time when Daddy can see
how big hose his wife or daughter
wears. No woman now brags of "her
little feet," but the bigger the better.
We must Bay to the credit of the
Boctor that he did not accept the pro
posal Monday evening but went home
with the boys to the hotel after the
show rather than be carried off by a
new sweet smile. It is just such Bongs
that catch the bald-heads but couldn't
catch Millard.
At the last meeting of the Knights
of Columbus the following officers were
elected: Presideet, J. B. Basgall; vice
president, R. M. Dresse; recording
secretary, John Jacobs; financial secre
tary.. Philip Jacobs; treasurer, John
Eberle; sergeant-at-armp, Paul Was
singer; sentinel, George Basgall, trus
tee, John Pfanneetil; medical examiner,
Dr. J. U. Catudal.
A Public Installation
Ard Csmr-fire -will be held at the G.
A. R. Hall on Thurpday night, Jan. 6,
1910 at 7:80 o'clock. The public are
invited to participate in the enjoyment
of the camp-fire, where there will be
fn 'abundance of eirgirg tf old war
songs by a select quartette ard hear
the many stories by the old soldier's
which will always be cherishfd by all
who love Old Glory. Be pure and be
with us 'and enjoy an evening of war
time reminiscences.
H. B. KOHL, Adjutant.
Joseph Runyon Dead.
Word came WedreFday morning of
the death of our citizen and old soldier,
Joseph Runyon, which occurred Tues
day night at Wakeeney, where he had
gone on a business trip. He was sick
but a couple days having had a para
letic stroke, from which he never
ralied. He leaves a widow and several
erown children. A handsome new
home was beirg built on East Juniata
street for the family, which they hoped
soon to occupy, but he failed to live to
see it finished. The family have the
sympathy of a large circle of friends
both here and in Trego county, hie
former home. The body was brought
here and the funeral services were held
in the new home Thursday afternoon,
then the body was taken to the G. A.
R. Hall under escort of the bid soldiers
where a military funeral was carried
out in the presence of a large circle of
sympathizing friends, and the remains
were laid to rest in our cemetery.
Always Keeps Ahead.
Many a man has a great future
ahead of him, but in unable to catch
up with it.
Arabian Proverb.
A day that is not thine own do not
reckon It as of thy life.
Ae True Now as Then.
Corruption will never want a pre
tense. Cato,
Socialism in Sweden.
Socialism has found many new. ad
herents and Is making rapid growth In
Sweden. The labor conditions gen
erally have been such as to bring dis
content to many who had previously
been apparenUy satisfied.
The British Press.
Not a little world wisdom lies in th
conduct of the British pres. It
managers do not let their instincts foi
news run away with their appreciation
of how things said n heat look in cold
print to the world abroad. They cc
not furnish arrows for the quivers oi
their foreign criUcs. Boston Trah
script.
Profits from Cat Breeding.
Taken all round, cat breeding is not
a royal road to fortune." It is all a
matter of luck, and some people may
manage for a few years to make a
handsome profit, but it cannot be kept
up. I myself made about 60 out of
my cats one year, not allowing foj
rent and labor, but as a rule I was out
of pockeL Ladies' Field.
Discriminating Woman.
Lady theatrical managers seem t
be peculiarly fortunate, or rather pe
culiarly clever at gauging the taste
of the public. Possibly they are not
so vain as the actor-manager, or they
choose their plays with greater acu
men, or they pay more attention to
trifles and good management in small
matters. London Graphic.
The Ruler of the World.
When we get behind all the clrcnm
tanceg of our daily life we find the
thinker, the man with ideas. He Is the
true ruler of the world.' He gives us
all things, from the clothes of our ,
bodies to the clothes of our minds. He ;
gives us coats and commandments;
mutton chops and morals. He gives us
our policies, our religion, all, in short,
that we have. London Dailv, Dispatch. ;
Her Kick.
T dont mind finding a gray hair f
two In my own hair," sighed the bach
elor girl, who shows some few signs
of the sere and yellow leaf, "but when
I pay (3 for a nice bunch of lovely
brown curls and have to pick them out
of those, too, it isn't lair- Do 70a
think It lar
THOUGHTS
WALDO PONDRAY WARREN
- WHY MISTAKES ARE MADE
i!STAKES do not "happen" they are the results of
causes. A vast measure of time, money, and oppor
tunity is lost in making mistakes and trying to rectify
them. To correct mistakes is a good work, but to prevent
them is a f r.r higher achievement. The "ounce of prevention"
may be app!;2d by carefully considering some of the chief
causes of errors in business. They are:
Carelessness, inattention and superficial interest;
Laziness not being willing to take the trouble;
Accenting appearances as facts without investigation;
Proceeding without discussion or advice;
Impulsive decisions not well thought out;
Lack of foresight and preparation;
Wrcr.3 theories and biased advice;
Fa!re economy and desire for gain;
Lack of tact and thoughtfuiness;
Fcrrjrttir.g ard neglect of duty;
D3peridig on these not properly instructed;
Failure to take due precautions;
Fnilire to safeguard weak points;
Cverconfider.ee and exaggerated hopes.
The remainder may be charitably classed as the result of
humzn frailty a last rescrt in explaining mistakes that .can
net ba rectified nor traced to their roots in undeveloped char
acter. (Copyright, 1907, by Joseph B. Bowles.)
f ii.
Climatic Peculiarity.
Montreal, with its winters of great
severity, is 360 miles nearer the equa
tor than is London. Montreal, indeed
is on the same degree of latitude u
Venice.
Perfectly Safe.
When a woman is first married, she
fears her husband is so brave and gen
erous that he will get hurt some day
rushing into a dangerous place to do
a noble act, but she is not long In find
ing out that on that score he is per
fectly safe. Atchison Globe.
About Right.
A boy was asked to explain the dif
ference between animal instinct and
human Intelligence. "If we had in
stinct," he said, "we should know
everything we needed to know with
out learning itj but we've got reason,
pnd so we have to study ourselves
'most blind, or be a fool." Universal
ist Leader.
A srrflsi3 eLrPjj
LPs! 1 Lai
And 1909 Atlas of the World.
The Only Completely New Webster Dictionary Issued Since 1S90.
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ADDHZSS TO-DAY
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BY
All Keystones.
Every stone In an arch Is a key
stone, though the name is usually ap
plied to the center one.
Substitute for Sunlight.
Atmospheric electricity is believed
to encourage plant life in the arctic
regions, where there is but little sun
light. A Woman's Word.
In a case at Southwark, his honor
Judge Willis remarked: "I believe in
accepting a woman's word except,
perhaps, In some instances connected
with dress." London Standard.
Where Did Hubby Get It?
Why shouldn't a woman take mone
from her husband's pocket? Qult
eften she is only working a bad e
uaple. Exchange.
Saiern J33 Gazetteer
Fr EiiaioiroQQiiatiooiil
UNIVERSAL
A ?ron -.u'V3?ir: cticnsry of Irsek and Latin 5
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Society uf Lyndon ana American Pni.oi vi :tl Associauoq.
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c i;crI (A.iOt-icr va ua&v
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the'Mnternational," now nineteen years old and quite obsolete. The firm now pub
lishing this work is one of the Largest In the World, whose daily output almost equals
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Illustrious author. Never In the historv of the
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in WEBSTER'S UNIVERSAL PICTIONARY. It is the most modern of all
books of reference and definition. Copyrighted J909. It contains 25,000
n th latest words and terms wot found In WEBSTER'S "INTERNA-
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Of Calumny.
A nickname a man may chance to
wear out; but a system of calumny,
pursued by a faction, may descend
even to posterity. Isaac Disraeli.
The Tasks for Young Men.
T&aks for rapid and wholesale ad
justment fall into tho hands of very
young men. At the outbreak of ths
French revolution the 11 men who
were destined to become Its leaders
averagea a years or age. m. A. Moss,
11 "ffvMal Pcvnlininr
Old Heads on Young Shoulders.
Our children are srowine more 1
dependent. It Is not the fault of thi
parents nor of the children; wo art
not careless, and they are not un
grateful. The conditions of life axe
responsible for the modern "youth,"
Fam 1H en Zeitung, Vienna.
"Be a Good Man, My DearV
Almost the last words whiofe Cr
Walter spoke to Lookhart, his bi
ographer, were: "Be a good man, my
dear," and with the last flicker of
breath on his dying lips, he sighed
a farewell to his family and passed
away blessing them. William Uaka
peace Thackeray.
The lllyrlane.
The Illyrian province formed si
short-lived government, being insti
tuted by Napoleon in 1809, from vari
ous territories taken from Austria,
north and east of the Adriatic The
government was abolished in 1814-18.
The ancient Illyrians are now repre
sented by the Albanians, which fact
doubtless gave the little kingdom its
title.
" Art.
Now nature is not at variance with
art, nor art with nature; they being
both the servants of his providenoe.
Art is the perfection of nature. Wert
the world now as it was the sixth d&y
there were yet a chaos. Nature h&t&
made one world and art another. b
brief, all things are artificial; for ns
ture is the art of God. Sir Thomas
Browne.
The Baffling Language.
English is the only form of human
speech of which it can be said that It
Is not sufficient to know it in order to
be able to use it The Frenchman la
England will find it better to speak
In French. The Englishman prefers
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