Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, July 10, 1880, Image 2

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Dodge City times. [volume], July 10, 1880, Image 2
About Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892

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Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.), 10 July 1880. Chronicling America: Historic American Newspapers. Lib. of Congress. <https://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn84029838/1880-07-10/ed-1/seq-2/>

Newspaper Page Text

IIL'JNHtOUS.
A JOvrjsxiA'Tic fight -a paper mill.
-Horn" Sfniitul.
The baker's morning cry is a roll call.
-Aero i'orL Jcrntd.
TiiEwcathsr is settled. At least it's-,
foLHiitukijAutUiiUU'ii. . ,
Of all summer tlothbi- the straw hat. ,
is at the head. fond du Lac J.'rporter. '
r, . 11 it . .1 i .. .ii
If. told lifer to ct licr day an.l the
Si tunUy for her e.l J.u day.- WhtU-
luM Iimcm.
jMav cannot add one cubit to In own
stature, but lie can moke a hor.-e suil. i
Coictiiniti Vomiutrmd. j
KvtL. conniun'cation e irrupt good ,
inaiuicr3 unless (.potted in time by the
IkMoIucc detectives a: 1. Aewi.
W'lUt bath woe? Who lii'li b ibbling?
Who liath redncs of eyes? He that
..i..d fi, wt- i!ii Krhrwmtr nf bucL-
beer.
It is on'y the female mosquito that
bite, but wnen a ni in get-? a chance to
belt one with a towel, ho is piling to do
it without flopping to inquire its gender.-
lSotm I'ust.
He went into a prominent dru,r store
and caiil to tlio dentist: "Von pulls out
niitout pain?" "Certainly." "What
does dot cost?" "One dolhr." Py
shiminy, jou dinks dot don't hurt none,
py gracious!" S'tnAhtimo IKrald.
A poet writes: "1 know the night
will surely come." Uiiiit, joung bard,
it will. If nny fellow- tills j ou it won't,
ask him if he is giving you moonlight
on a shingle, and tell him to take down
his scarf-pin. Don't jou let him try to
reaon $ ou out of jour belief. lioilon
'"'
Tmf. London Stamford fas: "Make ,
a friend of a cat and it makes a fnend
of jou in return. There is a grcit
amount of in l'mduality an.l originality
in cat-.." liiere is, tliere is. lue in- ,
diwdual cat chooses tho moituuscasoa
nble hours to sereniile his love and
nothing is more original than the nwsic
executed b the Thomas orchestra.
X 0. Picayune.
"YbJ," slid a fresh girl at a shoiv,
"1 know my beau goes out between
acts; but he's nico and neer drinks
anj thing bu' a cup of coffee, because
Icanalnat smell Has pi tin as div,
and I know the smed of coflVo from
beer or whisky, if I am a little bit
green." It is si very h ipiiy thing for a
joung mau tob ive a girl s conlidence.
SteubcnvUIc 1 braid.
Koine or the DiflicnUici -Met in Taking
the CeiiMi-.
A miau but select census enumera
tor, with anlmm Inir and an incendiary
nose, tackled a one-story house on Clam
street jesttyday and came o.l second
bet- After he hid knocked thu skin
off liis knuckles on the door, two r.igsed
children vith for-aken no-es, who were
spellbound obsenersof his perform-j
anre, went around "'u woke lier up," J
accordiii!T to promise. A second later ,
the door llew open, to the no small ter
ror of the cen-iis person, w ho narrowly
escaped de-lit ering a thundering knock
in a tall, gaunt relative of MegMcr-rilh-N,
done up in faded and very ragged
lwmbazine, with a meal-ax cxpreion,
a surplus fif neck and a pair of iiblo
shoulder-blades tint would have ap
peared to much grcater-advantage in
cognito. The Damascus cheek of the
oiins man paled. He had a superhu
man impulse to get tip a tree that grew
at hand, and his tongue lost its cunning
under her mesmeric, ferocious glare, as
he queried tremblingly:
" What is our age?"
"You git''' arouedly.
"Where were jou bom?"
" None o' j er biz," menacingly.
tlot an v children, cripples or half
idiots?"
A screech of indignation echoed; a
fence picket smtdied itself on tho spot
w here he had stood a second before,
and a white-ficed ming man, followed
by a irago. with hair and drapery fly
ing out astern, lit out for Fourth street,
for a few mid minutes. When she had
returned and slammed the door so that
the knob Hew across the street, the
thildren in front of the grocery sang:
Mhrn Iho .numerator's dula to lie done, to
Iks don
Toe taker lot it not a hiippy one. happr one.
inn 'ra;je"t Chroiudc
Tiik Philadelphia policeman who
tumed to stone is, strange as it may
seem, a greater curiosity thau the one
who turned into a beer saloon. A'orrit
toirn Herald.
A droll mistake, a contrraporarj
tells us, was maJe by an imajnnatirc
old dame. who. havinz ticrmiited a tele
graph pole to be placed on the top of
her- hou-c, waited upon the chinf ofthe
telegraphic company concerned to com-
plain that she could get no sleep of a
nixht, btlng kept awake by the noi-
made by the menses. pa;ins .over her
head. " I don't think, sir," aid she,
"you can bo aware of all that's said
thcm wi ,, a deal tliat
oug,t tQ je l can , yoU)
sir, that cry much tint's s-aid there,
t)at j iare tr) jio an(l tj.lpn t0f -13 slIci,
a .m w()man might to hear; and
j j,,, ou n put a s.op t ;t." The
amused gentleman was hardly able to
meet the accusation with due gravity;
but he did coutnie to keep his counte
nance while he informed the old lady
that the young men who had hitherto
w orked the w ires w ere under notice of
di'mis-al, and that in future only young
women of great rcpcctability would be
cmplojed, so there would be no danger
of her propriety being shocked again.
m
The following problem is given for
some beginner in arithmetic to solve :
The .English language lias one "t" and
four substitutes for " t," namely, ct as
in "ctc-iphon," ptasin " ptisan," phth
as in ' phthisic," th as in "Thomas."
It also has "a" and ten substitutes for
"a," namely, ai as in "vain," ay as in
"rav,"cigh as in "eight," cw as in
" reign," cy as in " they," aig as in
"campaign," ea as in "break," an as
in "eui2e,"ao a3 in "gaol," aigh as
I in " Iaii;ht." Combining tlio above,
I how manj- different ways are there of
' spelling the Iirt sjuaoie oi me worn
tailor?" and then, writing the second
fya,c lvjth lar, ler, lir, lor, lur, lyr,
laiT) crr jirr j0ITj urr ijn., uar, uer,
jIirj iior, nri Hvr, llarr, Uerr, llirr,
1( lh ikrr.'lour. leur. Iter, lour.
ii u i ow raanv aifferent wavs
nre there cl sj cllicg tao whole worn
" tailor?"
Men may preach, and tho world
willli-ten; but profit comes by example.
A parent inculcates gentleness in Lis
children by many found precepts; but
they see him treat u dumb animal in a
very ha-h manner, and, in consequence,
his instnietions are worse than lost, for
they are neither heeded nor respected.
I lis example as a gentle and humane
man would have been sufficient for his
children without one word of command.
lCe eland Ohlo) rialn Dealer.
um 1 1 um !
TVcll has It been ilI tht the del'ght ex
perience! under certain cond tfons of life
cannot be art.cu'ated, but can only be con
veceUbj the happy AmerlcanUm Yum I Turn!
We do not know If Mr. Cha. MampeL
Independence, 0 , said th's; but be wrote:
"About a year ao I ir& under a phytic an's
reatnient, and paid a doctor's bill of twenty
dollars, without aiy boacnt. One bottle of
Hamburg Diops did me more good thaa all
the -doctoring' "
JSan Francisco D-iUy fierrnan Democrat.
An I-ft-Gotrrnor. 0lnliN.
Tlic aliove-named journal recently con
tained the report of an Intcnlew between
Ex (ioveraor tolotnon and one of Its report
ers. The (lorernorbad suffered for a long
time with seTere rheumatic ialns which noth
ing wou'd relieve. Friends advd the use of
St. Jacob's Oil, and a half dozen applications
banthed the palu and lameness. "It Klves
me pleasure to recommend it whenever I
can," said the Go ernor.
national Trratneat I"a.ltlTe CTarea.
Ilr. K. V. Pierce, President of the World'i
Pipenan Medical Association, Is In earnest
lusrllinznis medicines under pcsiiive Ruar
antees, and if aavbody who purchases and
uses any if tiie- widelvlebrated remedies
aoesntjtderlTe beneDt therefrom, the Asso
ciation would 1 kc to hear from that person
villi description of svmntoms and hUtorv tf
rav. Orpuibed ant inc nsrated, as the As
s ci tt'on K to teach medicine and surgery,
and for the suecesfLl trea ment of all chron
ltdir.es, nd manclnc annually thojunJa
tif eae through our original rneth d cf diag-ni-ss
k iliout ever seeing the pitie.t6. and
ban g ami the lariress sanitarium in the
w ild for the aci-02miGdtI n of he more
o mpl eatrd eve, and alfi lor sunjital cjfcs.
ine ricuiyieci eme4ve prepirtuw un
dertake even the mo-t dicouraging cases.
Tli r nort to all the bc-i remedUl means
known to modern niMlcal science neglect
ing nothing Addicts or'd'6 1) spensary
Medical A"oeatloo. I!jffa'o, N. V . or Great
Uutsell Street building. Iximiim. Eog.
Vnqmtllfled urers.
"c7t.OlTI Columhiie. OUk In speakln?
of Warner's is.V l.tmeJics, mts: Tetl-
I monUl not uuinbcreJ bv LuTttlrcJ, but by
TtiouMiutK. are lu lue nanus oi 11. 11 narner
V Co., all furuthbins; ample corroboratiTC
cUcccs tliat as a curative for specific JU
caocs for hkb recommeuJ-vl are an unquali
fied ant! pronounced euccc&s.M
tViinorr's Ferer and Acne Tonic, the
old reliable remedy, now sells at one dollar.
The jrcnnlne Frazer Aile Grease Is said to
be the best In the world, and we believe it.
Kedmso's Ucssia Salve has proved ItseCl
clcncj by a test of three-quarters of a century
Alwats get C. Gl'bcrt's Linen Starch.
Use National Yeast and be banpy. Try it.
SiO
a liar. Iluwlo 3Iakr It. Arttliiff .JT
fvrAgtitM exr. rUMMKJCOSLlAmll Ma.
tC (Tfl rerdavathome.S.raplfsworih'tS
3 19 iUl" AiitrolSTEini,(l.lWll!iA.lI
C70 A WhEK. ?12adaTathomeeaIlT made.
3 I U UaOj Wltfll ttr. A Wa True K Co. AofUsta. M
GUNS
Revolt cri. IMus.Cat&oiraefres.
Grcit tTQ Uua Wort i Snasburti, P.
66
A VCY" K in vourown town. Tennsand
Vi outfit Ir 3rlrilLHiJMmHJartliailk
ICCUTC fn mori'T with lir. C1iur Aw
nine. C mil.ti AWrrtl,tiacIulisC ,ToItJo.o.
""n"i:Ki;Aa ft iiinniPAv.
A All th IutejtX n 1X1 Trmtnn. N. J.
JL3LluriLortKn.vn fl sod lor lrai b'rt.
nuAIl.L-TOUTH UltC'LLAlt MAUH.
HA!
ILLUSTRATED MEDICAL BOOK FREE
Fn.l rvnr dirfi.. with mi lo I ITICIKA
VL1I. tO.. IIwx U.AUO. lloclun. 5I.
HIRES' IMPROVED FOOT BEER PKGS.25C Mi!
El.ordfllclouiiC'iiprklicibcrrrp. Aikyoat
!! RllilUI 1L, VI WH Hn HUUUIHIVI Mil' lie-Ill H
trmaU. AarrutLUiaii.rjurkeise,riiilid.F&
ForBOWELCOMPLAINTSuse
ff Xjr-StUlvaUImge'itt.
An a rmuv sirmcnp. for Mini ail
Istimal uv.irtaa!i m a Ktvul rrf'VxJil fl t ( II
, AMI I'lllMls. Ills M.nt llthN FueMtU'
r--
F.j cca'l yen Fust 7!th GcUi Psr;.. Piisi?
SEE WHAT PEOPLE WHO
HAVE USED IT SAY.
Holaton Salt and Plaster Co .
Saltvllle, Vn., Feb. 20th, I8Q0.
SAY; ltrrlvor.usDldasuro tostnta
I that your paints have Riven the
most perfect satisfaction. We
painted two houses with CUTTA
( PERCHA PAINT, some two yoars
ago, and are so well" pleased with
It that wo shall use your palnton
somo twenty of our houses, occu
pied by our employes and man
agers. i Send for Sample Colors and
Price List to
CUTTA PERCHA PAINT CO..
CLEVELAND, O. CHICACO. ILL.
THREE REMEDIES IN ONE.
In !1 d'nord-r ml.4. wn o d.rn'e
KfYpuplh rrenz... Ami k-pth-bowfltfrre;
lve onTrcitTf,li.aiic nJ Ionic.
la one pjrw m JI jio iht cuaitn" Ih- thrte.
StLTZtR ArEBiKVTliibatntii!cni plurlaui.
It ton-.rcfrvti-. n cuitr. utin.
Anio trdlvae for thirty 3fr-ttrtorioa.
The wortJ well fuundrdrunfitl'-ncerrtftlDi.
TakeasiT trrtETEMrxxT SrLTJtFR Afekiext.
60LU BT ALL imCGGIbTb.
WARNER'S
SAFE
KIDNEY&
DOCTORSBtu..LIVER CURE
Jp dif liOinl for Uriplit'ai PIeae nd i ailments of the
lr1nrjf t-nnimand L!i-r It U fxillv vluIlo In
fitutiviruiiM"!, and ba anil the Uvr $t ximitil
who tiaJ abauUonctl hjpeaod Uereeiprctlngtit-JUIL.
WARNER'S
afeTonic. '
Renwa the r nerpT ' ih worn an t orrrworked.
All PrrnnnB nurrrlcc a drcllae la h-lth.froinrJtifrrer
4 cauwill And It must InriffvratlQff both toth' mlnJ
ana boajr.
AFEfEllLLS
Cfntly mm.ate the pjurm nyther
lanii'nor uiraaf iu nnniif man
of MAaarfa and prevent IlUioDAQeM ami
Klndrrd ConipU.nt A s)ufda liter
UtmpokU.btn; tUey art ruiployed.
AntheaboTe-nainrd rrmfdl are for aalebyDrug
5ii In erery part ul the land. They are Invaluable.
tt. U. VTAK EK A CO.,
Xcfceatcr,.T.
tajwiSjirti
CUTTING OFFjSSk
i
i .
IS
U Jla.
a fSrr
GRAIN AND PROVISION
COMKISSIOX r MERCHANTS.
LeMde loloGrnraJOHnin1t4inbnnfHt9lnLARilB
QUAMint-S. wo llavand Hrll drain In l,tn.
uu. louana npwvn(M ivrk nu ira in nj qunu-
tit dfkirni.
(jorrtiKKtrcDcri au RniPtnTiifl wuawu.
I.A It II Of
121LaSaJeiU "hlcajo.
J
&.
&&&&&
FOR CHILLS AMD FEVER
Malarial Poisoning
OFTHE BLOOD.
1 A Warranted Cure.
Price, SI. 00.
i C2frOB CALK BT ALL bBUOfllSTS. M
GRMFENeERG
VKUKTAUiJB
Mildest ever known. cur
MALARIAL DISEASES,
HEADACHE. BILIOUS
NESS. INDICESTION b4
FEVERS. Thest
pujls
Tone uo the tystcm and restore hfalth t
those suffering from general debility and
nervousness. Sold by all Druggists.
Q3 Oonta Tor Sox.
Jonas Wiiitcomb's Remedy.
The late Jcnaa V 'teon of nton. Tli'iMFarni
afr yrar rinrt-for th Itn-fltof h Ivalih. whlrti
waliiiTal-i-4ty frt-qurnt attacV. f 2jtim1trAth-
tna Wld.e ucdrrtb trraiaii nt r fantciin ni dmntn"
jhTlia'i.lj' b"--rw lnirnrj lo btfaiM tit at lima
dmrprart-d he iinT.ndtb-rrTl,'f nhlrb ..ad Un
mtj, tifortiim U h hi it lie I aat ft wvrarvifila K my
, ha ln uwil lniliouJinJff tl irtcAi wltha-
I toolihltiic and uclfuni iuirrt. It cuQtaloa uo iHUeia-
! ouorluJurtwuijruiHrtlr ubatevrr.
Extrart from tJt "Iif'fflCfltWm Trrtntt by hlf
tpher, nmt M lrritij l.,p 372.
'The doctor jirerrlbrd.anexjer menu bat haj
bernfcni7rted!iTlrr hi W Huitnrtnub. late vUit,
Jona KTiitrtjmb a Tlrtnrdy for athnia, a tt-apMn-ful
la a wine-la-i of miter, to le tatruevtry faur
hour. A cwod nVht the mult.
I hie derived very (treat brneflt frm Jona
1Ttiltrtnit. Mhniii laVnirdr '" O Y O-lttiRNK.
ln.dentfMruicIiunrnc(JoL. Ho-toa. Mast.
"Vrmnttvrt sul stifi-r.l rltrht rum fnITl the htr
vert aIIla. The recurren-: of tlilf three niontht
ccnoT erry year ntnrt wun wriir hfr oct. Jon
Lit com t. Aibma Ilrnu-dy arn-led the tcrril le di
iBe. and Loa kept It o3 furthtfhole aeaw.ii, tih
pratjuywf tle family " Ut J- h. no.
Clilrajro ir-ntof tl( AmerlranujmeMtvJuuarybocI
ety, to the , 1 J impendent
Pubti'lUt th ilrmmitr Oitr't" Vrvt9""?!
"lO Till- MFM-KIri: I.VArIV. lt;uN.
CHITI. I-Je. In the Interest iiinlof mch pern.
vtibuut any runfrn nre with iIm'm: ! aJrrtlelt. I
earnestly urw? all wlwi aalTr by th' dUtreBlnir mala
&r lo uv iri?Ht(H Jonat Wh.Tcomf' l.mdy
JorAntma.I-M;CoId.etc.'" T lMHERTtN,
Broftd Kun. Faa)alrr t-o .
Jobu vrhitcomnf Aithrc Hmedv ! inannf jwtnrel
only br theprop-Wort. 4IM.111 lfIU.NETTJs
CO.. lCtoi.
JhTTrS-Ssa
'Idllilli

Dodge City times. [volume], July 10, 1880, Image 2
About Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892

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Dodge City times. [volume], July 10, 1880, Image 2
About Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892