Dodge City times. [volume], March 31, 1881, Image 2

About Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892

Image provided by: Kansas State Historical Society; Topeka, KS

                
THE DODGE CITY TIMES.
MTUM'KII-TIOV: $S.Olar lrar.la Jtdiaare.
NICHOLAS II. KLAINK, - KniTon.
A MAN'S LIFE.
One Mirifif abo e all tons I si wr,
Onuaoin- that breathe of Uneand spring-
A man'e life Is a precious thing:,
I know that we who Urn to-lay
Art born to dream and die a tbey
" fco-e lonnii hare wholly passed away:
That we. who hearts are bol I and stout,
A re weak dlcot erers tat about
AmM the windy setsof djubt.
The simple faith of other years
Is muflled music to our ears
A olceuf tanging- ihjked with tears:
For we hai o lost the holy trace
Of God. tbo unknowable one. whose face
Is bidden in darkness fur a spjico;
And rtianv men are prone to "wear
That (J rd is but l he euul s de-pair,
A being; as jrbostly as the air
Tint out of passion and sweet breath
rhftlleome whatever wldom saith,
due t-kcrlastlng- nbrht of death.
Alal 1 know that sorrow dwells
Within the Hunt as sound In b'lls.
That hearts are often nuinin; hells:
I know tbat Mtter crime and lust
Aro !art of our polluted dust
Tbodunincdaro kindred to the just.
I know ft all. and yet I sin
As freel) usa bird In fcprJnir
A man's lifo Is a precious thing-.
'or thounb life darken and death bo Beet
There Is a Heaven for hearts that meet,
A Heat en uf passion wildly swoct:
And strong- men feel a heree delight
In the bird brunt and toll of llirbt:
The) conquer nobly where they biutlu.
Tollvols to aspire, to heir
Through harh, discordant cries tbo dear
True wiiceof bopo forever neir;
To rio lieyond lb earth, to find
Klberlal belgbrs whereon the mind
Ma sweep and circle Ilka a wind.
And oh I It laonougb to be,
lofeet. mid hear, and think, and see.
To know tbat aces dwell In me.
And there is rapture In th thought
That 1 am sodltlucly wrought
Time ciunut make luc wholly nnug-htl
What though I faint an 1 perlh. I
Hate that within me whl.n Is high
As God and intluitc as the sky.
'jVorffe fM jar Monty tinny.
Hate ttvs Front Teeth lu Their Up
per Jans!
A couple of Third Ward citizens met
each oilier on the sidewalk last Monday
morning as they jjyre. starting for their
places of busiuoss, and one of lliem.
who reside on Van Hurun street, asked
the other, a Jackson street man, if cow s
had any front teeth on their tipper jaw.
The Jackson street man was a little
astonished at the question, as there had
been nothing said about cows, but re
plied promptly:
by, of course they have front
teeth on their upper jaw; how could
they bite ctl grass if they hadn't"
The Van Ituren street man said it was
not a question of logic, but a question
of fact; and if the Jackson street man
did uol Lnqwuhctltur, cow haii front
k teeth on the upper jawoF not, hooughf
ito sir o. "I ilia not asc vou tor tour
' opinion ho said; "I asked if jou
knew."
Tho Jatkson'Street man was'a little
neltlcd'at this, a'ad replied with some
warmth, lie said if he had a child
three years old who would ask such a
qui ition as that he should bc.afraid the
child w as an idiot.,
"You would?"
"I certainly should."
Then," said the Van Bnrcn street
man. "as it is such a simple question,
of course vou can tell mo whether cows
hmn got front teeth on their uppcrjaws
or whither they hfoenot."
" Why, of couroe they have."
"U.hcy.hij( eh?'
"Yos"
"I'll bet yon ten dollars they
haven't," saiil the Van Huron street
cifi en, pulling ont a roll o bills, and
peelingoffa- couple of tho and (.baking
them ut his neighbor. " Put uporshut
up." ' s
"There Is somo infernal catch about
this tliinz." said the other, suspicious
ly; "I might lino known it, too, the
mltiuto you asked mo sui.li an infernal
iijiotiej'testion,"
"No catch at all about It," replied
tlio other, ''.if con s have, pot front, tooth
on their upper jaws .the ten dollars is
youisi If they haven't the mimev is
mine. Nothing con'd lie fairer than
that, couldthero?" ' , ,
lint still tlio Jackson street man hesi
tated. It was barely possible that cows
did not hive any front teeth on. their
upper jaws. He remembered, then.
that coirs in biting off'grass alwajs
threw tfaeir noses outward, w Idle horses
nipped HxilT by jerking, thejr no-.c in
ward. He wa3 astomsned at how near
he had come to being Mcilmted, but
he did not like to come donn. The
two were then near the meat market,
near the corner of Jackson and Michi
gan streets, and the Jackson street man
was sure that a butcher would know
for certain whether or not cows had
front teeth on their uppcrjaws; so he
pushed open the door" and sa:d to the
proprietor:
"J.inehan, hare cows got front teeth
on their upper jawsi"
Linchan was running a skewer
through a roast of beef, but he stopped,
looking up in astonishment, and said:
"Wnatr"'
"Hare cowa got front teeth on their
upper jaws?"
"Cows?"
"Yes."
"Got front teeth on their upper
jaws?"
"Yes."
"Upon my wonl I don't know."
"You don't know?"
"No. You see I buy my beef by tho
quarter at the slaughter-house, and
don't have anjthing to do with tho
beads. Hut I can find out for you when
I go orer."
"I wish you would."
So the Jackson street man closed tho
door, aud rejoined his neighbor, and
tbo two walked along without saying a
wonl. A milk wagon was seen coming
up tho street, and it "was resolrcd to
hail tho drhcr and ask him the ques
tion, as it is popularly supposed tint
milkmen are more or less familiar with
cows. The Van IJuren street citizen
cleared his throit and yelled. Hello'."
The milkman reined up, and said:
Ooahead with our tests. If you
find any water or chalk in that milk I'll
five'jou the whole of it."
Tho citizen told him to bo calm, as
they had no intention of testing his
milk, but only wanted to know if
cows had front teeth on their upper
jaws.
'I he milkman locked at them about a
luinutu and then whipped un his horses
and drore off, mentioning some kind of
a fool that they were Upon Wiscon
sin street thev saw another milkman,
delivering milk, and overtaking him
they explained the dispute. He smiled
pityingly upon their ignorance, and
saiil:
"Of course cows hare front teeth on
their upper jaws a dritclimr idiot
ought to know- that ranch. A cow
would be a handsome-looking object
without any front teeth in hor upper
jaw, wouldn't she?"
"I've concluded to Jake that bet of
jours," said the Jackson street man to
the other. "Come, now, down with
jour dust. Put up or shut up."
"Win-didn't you do it, then, when
Vou had a chance? I never claimed to
know whether a cowhad any upper
teeth on her front jaw pr not: I only
thought I had, read so somewhere and
n'ked to knowitjou knew about it for
certain. Tlut now that the thing is
settled, there Is nothing to bet on as I
can seo."
"O. of course, not," said the Jackson
street mau sarcastically; "of course
not."
Just then Mr. Clark, of the Newhall
House, happened along, and as thq
milkman picked up his lines and. drove
off, the Van Iiiiren-street man asked
Mr. Clark if he knew anything about
cows. Mr. Clark said he did, having
formerly been a farmer and a cattle
bujer.
"Well," said the Van Huron strecter,
"do jou know I got the queerest idea
into my head this morning about cows
that a man ever ad. Somehow ot
other I got tlio idea that cows had no
front teeth on their upper jaw; and I
actually offered to bet ten dollars with
this man that Mich was the cose, 1 don't
see what possessed me."
"Well, if jou hail bet. you would
have won the'money," said Mr. Clark.
"What!" exclaimed both the citizens
together.
"1 say if you had bet you would bave
won the money, for coirs have no front
teeth on their npner jaws."
"Sweet spirit hear my prayer," said
the Van iiuren-street citizen, as ho
brought out lib roll and peeled off tho
two tnes again and shook them at tho
Jaeksnn-strcel man, who' turned a ay
with a sickly smile and said he'coiild
not alwavs be milling out his monar!
Ignorance seems to bo stalkiug through
the land like a Kansas grasshopper on
stilts. licks bun.
I k Representative Constituent
' He cave all the hac"kmen at the
TJuion Depot a stand-off. brushed "the
boot-blacks right and left, and shoul
dered h'i Mxtyjiounils of j'aggage and
started up Jefferson avennn in search
i of a tavern. He was a right. up t and
I down man, and he wanted to strike a
tavern where they had an old-fashioned
j boiled dinner.
I "Just come in from Lansing," ha
observed, as he fell in with a pedas-
i trian.
' " Did eh?" Been out to the Legis-
1 lature?''
I "You bet I have. I'm not a mem-
' her, but I made things hum out th ere
all the same."
"Hare a bill?'
"Not exactly. I come down from
County to'take the kinks out of
ourmembcr. He was sailing in with a
high head, and if I'd waited ten dats
longer he'd hare been bossing the
whole State. What d'ye think?"
"I dunno."
" He would'nt speak to me when I
first got there! Tnink of that! Up
home there we rated him about No. 4,
and sent him down to Lansing more
because none of the rest of us could
leave, and he wanted to cut me
colder'n a wedge! .What do vou
think?"
Kather mean."
" You bet! Hut I lowered his nose a
. bit. We'd heard how he was prancing
' around and putting on airs and making
' out that he run our county, and a few
er us got together and wrote him a let
ter. it didn't seem to do any good,
j and so we got together again and they
i-ent me down to put on the curry-comb."
,"lAnd you did?"
"Didn't I? He'd put in about a
dozen bills aflccting our cdunty. and I
mashed all but two. He had laid him
self out for six or seven speeches, and I
i masiieu an out one. a.nu iirsi uay x
! got there ho woiujiporting motions
j and moving to amend and strike out,
' but I mighty snon let him understand
that no such chaff parsed for oratory
with us. He tried to bulldoze me at
bfet, but w hen ho found that his con
stituency had got after him he calmed
1 down. "He'd been fosling with the
' game law and had got mixed up with a
dog-tax bill, and a saw-log law, and a
bill about inland fishing, and I, don't
! know what else. I took him out be
hind the State-House and says I: Now,
boy; Jou squat! Your constituent de
mand that jou calm right down. We
don t want no Cicero in ours, and we
won't have it. Wo sent j'ou dow n here
to do a little quiet work, and not 'to
prance around and imagine xou've got
Patrick Henry's hat on. We are a
humble jieople, taking kindly to log
houses and johnny-cake, and we don", t
go a cent on words and long nour
ishes.' That's what J told him, and be
calmed.".
"Did, eh?"
" You bet he did! and' if we hear
anything more about his rising to ex
plain his vote on the dog-tax, or mov
ing to recommit tho .muskrat bill our
county won't be no place, for him to re
turn to. This is the place, eh? Well,
I'll fodder up and then take the train
for home." Detroit Fret Prcsi.
Hears anil Hornets.
Tho Hloomintr Grove (Fa.) corre
spondent of the Philadelphia Unites
writes: Hears nave uecn jar more plen
tiful this j ear than for many seasons
past. There are many extensive for
ests of beech and oak m the counties Of
Wainc, Piko and "Monroe, with vat
outlying swamp land? of laurel, hem
locKan.1 tamarack. Despite the fact
that these forests are Minetrated bribe
, Eno Railroad, the black bear makes
in them his brecuinganutecumg haunts
almost as freely as scores of j cars ag,
before civilizatiou had made anj ad
vance in this section. Along the bor-ler-
of these creal swamps is a wide,
strip of soft mud. These swamps aro
almost inaccessible- to man, and the
bears make them their places of refuge.
When the bears are tdentv this Border
l of mud is full of the animals' tracks.
la many places me mint is tonna noi
lowcd out in wide spots eight or ten
feet long, three or four feet "wide, and
tw o feet deep, fhonld large patches
of scrub oaks be found beaten tlown to
"the ground itis a sure simt that the
. , bears harc.bcen " working" thoro 'and
feeding on the acorns.' Th'cv 'rise' on
their hannches anibng- thescrub oaks
aha beat the bushes violently With their
fore, paw f vj
liears are very fond of 'bugsiand in
sects of all kinds. They know just
where to hnd them ctcry time, ana
know that their favorite insects make
i their homes under the stones during tho
f winter months. The brutes conse
quent select spots where the ground
is covered with stones, and with their
paws turn them up to get at the bugs,
i Yellow-jackets and hornets are fai orite
( morsels with the black bear. If bruin
sees a j cllowjacket or hornet in the
' woods lie is wild until he (inds the in
! sect's home. He tears madly through
I the woods until his unerring scent leads
, him to the spot. Then he settles down
to business. When a bear finds a yel
I low-jacket's nest it takes but a Yew
I swoops of h'S fore-paws to turn it
I wrong side out. A j-cllow-jacketg' nest
is generallj- mult m tne grounu, msi
under the surface. As soon as their
rest is touched, the bees swarm about
in clouds and cover the bear until he U
as yellow as a sunflower. He pays no
attention to their assaults, though an
attack of yellowjackcts on any other
animal would result in death. The
bear merely shuts his eves and grins as
he devours nest and all. He attacks
honey-bees the same way, and seooas
the honey out with his paws and licks
them oil until tbo nest is despoiled
completely.
j Old Jerry Greening, the hunter,
i says that on one occasion he shot a
I bear and was going to drag the carcass
home, when he discovered the bear had
just been robbing a j-cllowjackets
j nest and was still covered with the
fiery insects. --"Flint b ar hed only
been wounded Td a waltzed right in
an' fixed "im." said Jerry, "but a
couple o' them cussed little hot-tailed
I critters came after me an' I skipped,
nn' I didn't daro go after thet b'ar for
' two days."
I Hornets build their nests highupjn
i the branches of trees, or lastcn them'to
the ro-ks. Hut as cute as these insects
:tre the bear is more than their match.
A bear dt-eovors a hornets' nest tar out
on a limb bejoud hU reach. He climbs
t the tree, bre.:!-s the longest branch he
I can get, and, holding it in his fore
paws, hits the nest Until it drops to tho
ground. Sometimes he dances or
stamps on the limb till the nest is
shaken off. Should the nest be on a
rock tho bear goes up tq the top of tho
j ledge, abote it, where he gathers stones
i and sticks and rolls them down the side
of the rock till one hits the'nest and
sends it tumbling to tho ground below.
The hornets appear to know what has
caused their ruin, and all remain in tlio
fallen not till the bear appears, when
they attack him.
" A hornet sting," saj-s Jerry Green
ing,' "is 'bout 's strong's a wback from
i a sledge-hammer, air one hornet '11
knock a bull down; butucirbitc won t
raise a lump bigget'n a buckshot on a
b'ar, an' .the shaggj- critter thinks .its
fun. He'll stan' on his Jiin' legs and
square off wit'i his fore paws, jest as of
he were a boxfn' with somebody, only
lie's dnrn kcerful t' keep his ej'es shet.
Then be'll lav down an' roll over 'em
jest ez if he didn't keer a cent fer 'em.
' lnce i I seeu a she o ar Enoci a nor
'ncl's" nest biggcr'u A half-bushel basket
I offn a roek, an' pick it 'up an' luck it
I'lin.fa,. lis- nrtn nn i'nlt- n(T u'ltll it ffr
cool e if 't were one o" her cubs."
In!ereteJ in the Boy.
Yesterday afternoon a negro boy
1 came very near being run over by the
locnmotii c of the special train. Had it
not. been that an old negro, at the risk
of ids own life, seized the boy bj- the
-collar and jerked hini backward just as
, the cow-catcher reached him. he would
undoubtedly hare been cntto pieces. A
, gcntlepiail who witnessed the heroic act
"said to the old negro: ,
1 "I suppose j ou are the father of that
boy?"
".No. sah; his fodder libs out' in do
! country, and sends de boy 'to'town to
1 get his edification. -De boy boards wid
j me, sah."'
i "Y'ob seem jo take a great deal of in
terest inhiiu?"'
I "Indeed I ilncs. sah. His fodder
)owi'l,nie foah,two mnmfs board ob dat
.boj-; so jou sec ms am t ie ngnt time
Ifi.k klm f liu Vim JiKnp l,f- ifu Irnorj "
Galrcs!onAVic3. '. ! .j i.,
-S-L.
Twelve rlersbns'in the city of New
York 'answer toi thai name of George
Washington. .mUli K B,,q ,,
v.
1
tr.
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