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The Smoky Hill and Republican union. (Junction City, Kan.) 1861-1864, March 28, 1863, Image 1

Image and text provided by Kansas State Historical Society; Topeka, KS

Persistent link: https://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn84030186/1863-03-28/ed-1/seq-1/

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Volume II.
Number 21.
gmohg gill anfa glcpubn Snion,
Editon and Publishers,
On copy, one year, ...
Ten copies, one year, ...
Payment required in all cases in advance.
All papers discontinued at the expiration of the
tima for which payment is received.
One square, first insertion, -Each
subsequent insertion.
ien lines or less being a square.
Yearly advertisements inserted on liberal terms.
-done with dispatch, and in the latest style of
the art.
O Payment required for all Job "Work on
" I should liko to know tho name of that
handsome young fellow who accompanied
you to church last Sunday," remarked Clara
Mullins, to her amiable and beautiful cousin
Maria Sedgeland.
44 That's a pretty question to aBk. Do
you imagine I am so simple as to tell all I
know in this age of secret societies ? The
next thing you will want an introduction;
by-aud-by you will set you cap, and who
knows but you may steal away my gallaut
beau, and then leavo tuc alone in the glory
of single blessedness.''
"Now, Mary, Btop poking fun at me,
and let's know the name of that nice young
"Well, Clara, if it will afford you so
much gratification to ascertain his name, I
will not be so ciuel as to withhold it; here
if his card."
" So you admiro the name, and think he
who wears it personally handsome."
" Ye?, Mai iu, I think he is the perfect
model of a man. How neatly, and yet how
plainly be dresses. What a flue figure,
broad forehead and beautiful eyes he has !
Is ho a lawyer, doctor, or professor, or
merchant, or student? What is he?"
fl lie is a printer."
" A publisher, you mean."
" No, he picks up types in a newspaper
" O, now I understand you ; you intend
to say that he is tho editor and proprietor
of a newspaper."
" No, my dear couin, he is a journey
man printer."
" You don't, say he is nothing but a jour
neyman !"
44 How came yon, cousin, to allow him to
ait in our pew, and beau you home from
church ? I would not permit a mechanic
to touch my nrni with a pair of tongs, J
think you ought to be ashamed of such
vulgar society. I shall inform ma this
very day, and so long as you remain under
this roof, I am quite sure she will not allow
that plebean printer to pay any attention
to you."
" I declare," observed Maria, pleasantly,
'! you hare given me a Uaudle lecture. If
that distinguished foreigner who fell in love
with you at the museum, and who has been
bo assiduous in his attentions ever since he
obtained an introduction, could have heard
you, I have no doubt ho would highly com
mend you for looking down on what he
palls the common hetd."
"I, wish you to understand that Mr.
Fitxgammon is a real gentleman by birth,
and that he has the advantage of an ample
fortune," continued Clara.
' I am heartily sorry, my dear cousin,
that you encourage the addresses of such a
fop. I am sure he does not display much
ood breeding ; and as for education, be
seldom speaks without murdering his mother
tongue. For my part, I should prefer the
society of one who works for a living, pro
vided he is honest, virtuous, sober and
intelligent. I have been acquainted with
"Mr. Raymond ever since he was a child
indeed we were schoolmates. I knew his
parents, and although they are poor they
are quite respectable, and have given George
a good common education, and he is now
occupying his leisure hours in acquiring a
knowledge of the languages. Even you
admire bis personal attractions, and all
acknowledge that his intellectual endow
ments are far superior to his physical
if"l am much obliged to you for that ser
mon, kliss Maria Sedgeland ; it does not
require the assistance of a spy glass or mi
croscope to discover the state of jour feel
ings in regard to this vexed question. The
troth is you are envjous or jealous, because
I bate made an impression on the heart of
Mr. Fitxgammon, while you can pick up a
poor shiftless fellow, who picks upNetters
in a nrinting office. Ma, will put a stop to
your courtship, and if you were -at the altar
pa would rise and forbid the baas."
?The next morning, immediately after
"breakfast, Maria was requested Jo go into
her Mat a room, one had oeei eeetea one
a few moments, when the aristocratic old
lady came into the apartment and observed,
V I hire been informed that without my
knowledge or cousent you have accepted
the attention of a young man employed in
a printing office."
" Well, aunt," remarked Maria, blushing
to the temples, " Mr. Raymond came from
my native town ; and we have been ac
quainted ever since we were children. He
is a respectable young man, and a welcome
guest in the best circles of society."
" Well, Miss, I shall put an immediate
stop to such an interview as you have with
him. You shall not go with him to the
theatre nor driuk wine with him at pnrties."
" He never goes to the theatre, and he
never drinks wine. He belong to a division
of the Sons of Temperance."
" So he is a cold water rat ! Now I hate
him more than I did before, and if he ever
comes to my house I will drive him away
with a broomstick."
" John," said Mr. Mullins to bis servant
man, " take this billet doux to the hotel
where Mr. Fitzgammon boards, and give it
to bim yourself with my compliments."
It was past nine o'clock, and yet Mr.
Fitzgammon was still in the embrace of
Morpheus. The waiter, glad to awaken
the sleeper, and feed bim, so that the dining
room might be got in readiness for the
next meal, awoke him at once.
He usually spent an hour at his glass,
unpapering his curls, lacing his stays, &c.
Whilst he was dressing and decorating his
person, John commenced conversation with
an intelligent waiter, who was au old chum
of his.
" I guess missus is goin' to have a party
to-night, and this note is to ax the gentle
man to attend."
" You do not call him a gentleman, I
hope. He is as cross as a bear with a sore
head, and is mere trouble at the table than
any other six boarders in the house. He
smells tho soup until his moustache dips
into it, and then pronounces it unfit for the
pigs; he says that the beefsteak is tougher
than solo leather the butter as strong as
Samson and (he pies and puddings not to
be compared to such luxuries in London.
We have to be as careful in feeding him as
though hi were a wild beast, gnashing his
teeth on the keeper of the menagerie."
" Why, how you talk, Bob. Miss Clara
takes quite a shine to him, and she would
have thrown a kettle of hot water on you
if she beard whit you said now. I should
not wonder if they got mariied before long
She says be is the son of a lord."
" Son of a devil, more likely."
44 Well, if they should pair off, after bill
ing and coning a while, I hope he will make
Miss Clara stand around, for she has a
horrid temper, and Miss Sedgeland has to
put up with her ill humor. She is half the
time scolding her because a workman went
with her to meeting on Sunday."
" Are the old folks rich ?"'
"They arc well to do in the world, but
they need not turn up their noees at poor
folks, for I remember the time when old
Mullins couldn't cut such a swath as be
does now. lie used to keep a barber shop,
and had some ida of taking my father into
partnership with him, but father refused to
have anything to do with the old skin flint.
He griped overy cent until it squealed, and
soon saved enough to go to brokering on a
small scale. Folks used to laugh, and say
one polo would do for both branches of
business. Now he uses soft soap, and
shoves notes, and is ashamed of the more
honest and honorable calling of shaving
faces. I wish the old man would try his
hand on the face of the dandy who is after
his daughter."
" Yes, John, I think he could improve
his looks, but then, if a man makes a beast
of himself, I can see no earthly reason why
he shouldn't look like one. I believe this
stranger, who palms himself off as a dis
tinguished foreigner is an impudent impos
tor, without either wit, money or morality;
and should bo sorry to have him marry
your young mistress."
" Well, John, I read books sod study
human nature, and if I am not vastly mis
taken, the ill-looking, ill-natured and ignor
ant foppling of whom we have been speak
ing, is a vile fellow, and ought to be exposed.
I think it would be a good idea to get Mr.
Raymond to publish him."
" Do you mean Raymond, the printer 7"
" He is the very man that went to ohnrch
with the lovely and graceful Miss Sedgeland
last Sunday, and Missus has vowed he shall
never darken her doors agaiu."
" What an old goose she must be. Mr.
Raymond is loved and respected by all who
know him. Several of our oldest, most
wealthy and influential citizens have clubbed
together and raised funds enough to buy a
press and types, and have engaged bim to
edit a newspaper they design to publish.
He is the famous author of the thrilling
sketches over the jnitials of G. R."
"Miss Clara says she wouldn't touch
him with a pair of tongs, and that he is a
low fellow, fit only to associate with vulgar
14 Pshaw I that's all moonshine. The
time may come when she will be glad to be
in his company. There is an accomplished
and pretty young lady boarding here who
gave the mitten to Mr. Fitxgammon, but
she would be delighted to have Mr. Ray
mond accept her hand, her fortune."
As John surmised, that very evening
there was a grand soiree at the homse owaed
and occupied by the haughty homely Mrs.
and the hard-fisted Mr. Mullins.
At an early hour, the washed, combed,
brushed, curled, dressed, perfumed and
decorated Mr. Fitzgammon might have been
seen ascending the flight of granite steps,
and after spelling out the name engraved
on the door-plate, pqlled the bell with such
violence that the lap-dog howled with the
ear ache, and the servants started in alarm,
and the old woman wondered what on
earth was the matter.
He was escorted into the pleasant room
which was handsomely furnished with the
most fashionable furniture. After being
introduced to the company present, he
made a low bow, tried to smile, scraped his
feet on the carpet, and then awkwardly
tumbled like a bale of dry goods on the
sofa; after which he looked up with an air
of wondrous wisdom and importance, which
seemed to say, " what think ye of this
imported specimen of gentiliry ?"
He really was a remarkable looking ob
ject. His coarse hair was oiled, curled and
scented. He stared at every person in tho
room through his quizzing glass. He wore
on his unintellectual face, moustache, im
perial, whiskers and goatee, looking like an
ass that had swallowed a horse, and left
the tail sticking out of his mouth. His
red carrot fingers were hooped with huge
rings, and a broach large enough for a
looking-glass stuck upon his ruffled shirt
Most persons could have seen at a glance
that he was one of those nondescript crea
tures who know but little of themselves
externally, except what they learn from the
looking-glass, and who know nothing of
themselves, iuternally, except what they
feel from the liquor-glass. The following
conversation between the parties will afford
an idea of the mental calibre of the dis
tinguished gentlemen.
14 It is a beautiful evening, sir," remark
ed one of the company.
" Very foine."
44 How do you liko our climate, sir?"
"Very foine."
" You have seen the Falls of Niagara, I
am told. What do you think of that sub
lime and beautiful water wonder V
" It is very foine."
" I think I saw you at the meeting
which was recently addressed by the Hon.
Daniel Webster; what do you think of his
eloquent and magnificient speech ?"
" It was very foine,"
" How do you feel, sir, when excited by
the thrilling, electrifying cloqucucc of our
Demosthenes ?"
44 Very foine."
44 The sensation must bo akin to the
trumpeting of tho storm when the winds do
battle. What are your sensations during a
storm at sea ?"
44 1 am very sick at the stomach, at such
limes, but when we have a smooth sea and
a fair wind, I feel very foine."
lhe conversation was here interrupted by
the appearance of Mrs. Mullins and her
daughter." They were richly dressed and
gorgeously jewelled, and Clara, notwith
standing the unmistakable lines which ill
teaipcr had traced upon her countenance,
was very beautiful to look upon. The mo
ment they entered the room, Mr. Fitzgam
mon rose from his seat and squeezed the
band of Miss Clara, and told her she looked
lovely, and44 very foine." In the course
of the evening, he ventured to say she was
a charming girl, fit to be the wife of a lord,
and he meant what he said, 'pon honor.
Maria was present at the party, and her
aunt availed herself of an early opportunity
to ask her how she would like the attention
of such a man as Mr. Fitzgammon.
44 Best at a distance," said sbo, " I could
not endure such a bandbox dandy, whose
head is as empty as his hat."
44 You rude thing, how dare you speak so
disparagingly of my company in my own
house 1"
" Why, aunt, he has been winking at me
most impertinently through his quizzing
glass, He is not a gentleman and ought
to be requested to leave the house. If be
does uot, by your permission I will retire
to my room.
I suppose you are anxious to see the
journeyman printer, but if he dares to show
his face within reach of a poker, 1 will
drive bim into the street. I have a will
and a way to punish upstarts who do not
kqov their owp plape and have no regard
for the higher order of society.
At a late hour that night, or rather at an
early hour the next morning, the party
broke up; but unfortunate Mr. Fitzgam;
mon had partaken too freely of wine, and
sober John was nominated and apppinted a
committee of one to lead the eminent
stranger to his lodging?.
The next day it was rumored in differ
ent parts of the city, that a lord, duke,
knight or earl, or sqmethiog else b,ao) fallen
in love with Miss Mullen, the broker's
daughter. Maria received a severe candling
from h.er aunt, and djtto from ber dear
cousin, because she spoke so contemptuous
ly of jlr. Fitxgammon.
Miss Mullen's jealousy induced her to
believe that several young ladies were not
only smitten but deep in love wjth the
gojden calf she worshipped, and in order to
make sure of the idol of her affections, she
and her parents went to work in good earn
est to bring about a match and have the
parries nniieji u miinuuuiiii aiimucc.
The landlord to whom Mr. Fitxgamiaoa
was indebted for board and borrowed mosey,
did not p
'lose a cu
did not press his claims, for fear he flight
In a short time arrangements were made
for the wedding. Milliners, tailors, shoe
makers, and confectioners, were all busy at
work. The day selected, the guests were
invited, and all the interested parties were
on the tiptoe of anticipation, when an event
occurred which is related as follows :
44 Wife, did you see the new paper?"
- " Yes, I saw it, but you know as well as
I do, that I have no time to read newspa
pers. Clara is to be married next Monday,
and I shall have to be as busy as a dress
maker, or cut a sorry figure at the wedding."
14 But here is a fist pointing to a para
graph about Mr. Fitzgammon, the distin
guished foreigner."
44 Do read, pa," said Clara, smiling, " I
knew he would make a noise in the world.
A man of his rank in society, having such
a princely fortune, and a variety of accom
plishments, such fascinating manners and
such superb talents, cannot fail to make a
great sensation among the people competent
to appreciate his geniu. Let us bear it, pa."
44 We have received the London Times."
" Hear this, ma, the news are from Eng
land. I suppose my envious, jealous saint
of a cousin, who told me she believed some
body an impostor, will see ber mistake."
"Do let mo read without interruption, if
you please.'1
" We received, by last night's mail, a
copy of the London Times, which contained
the following startling and unexpected an
nouncement : John Gammon, who was a
servant in the service of Win. Fitz, Eq ,
has robbed his mother of considerable
clothing and jewelry, and it is supposed he
bas sailed for America. He is about thirty
years of age, of medium size, bas dark eyes,
coarse curly hair, and a scar on bis left
cheek, which he received from the watch
man who arrested him in the act of whip
ping his wife. One hundred pounds shall
be given to the person who secures the
thief Early this morning, one of our
efficient police officers read the announce
ment and at once put the Fitz and Gam
mon together, went to the hotel where be
found a sleeping beaut' with a scar on hi
left cheek, and the name of Fitz on some
silver spoons in bis trunk. He awoke and
arrested Mr. Gammon, and escorted him to
Clara fainted when she heard the sad
tidings, and after dbe came to her senses,
she exclaimed : " O, ma, O, pa ! what
shall I do? My dresses are made, our
friends arc invited, everybody will laugh
at me ! I wish I could be shut up iu a
14 What a villain he must b" paid Mr?.
Mullin, " He bas a wife now living. He
has been stealing spoons. I shouldn't won
der if he Etole that silver spoon off the
mantle-piece, for I missed it the day after
be first called here. I hope the authorities
will hang him by the ucck until he is
choked to death."
44 31 r. Mullins, who is the editor of that
"Mr. George Raymond."
44 1 wonder if that is the young man who
gallanted Maria to meeting, that Sunday ?"
"I suppose it is, said Mr. Mullins.
44 Well, go and ask him concerning the
particulars of this Eingulnr and most un
happy affair."
Mr. Mullins went to the office and en
quiied if Mr. Raymond was in.
"N.O, sir," was the answer; "he bas
gone fp. the State House. He has recently
been elected to the Senate, and consequently
spends much of his hme ;n the Senate
" s this Mr. Raymond the young man
who used to work in the brick building
across the way ?"
"Yes, sir."
" When he returns, give my compliments
to him, and say my name is Mullins, and
that all the members of my family would
be happy to see bim."
Mr. Mullins returned and informed the
family that the journeyman printer had
become not oqly an editor, but also a prom
inent member of the Senate, and that the
news respecting Mr. Fitzgammon was also
too true.
The intelligence spread like wild fire
through the city, and offered a rich feast
for tale bearers and scandal mongers, and
those who carry the devil's mail bag from
door to door, had their hapds, hearts and
mouths full for a fortnight.
The Hon. Mr. Raymond the low born
journeyman the plebean printer who be
longed to the vulgar htrd caljed frequently
to see the beautiful Jaria Sedgeland ; and
although Clara set her pap for him, and
tried all the skill of an experienced coquette,
she failed to win the heart of the printer,
who became the happy husband, of Maria
Sedgland. Clara improved in wisdom as
sh,e advanced in years, and finally became
the contented wife of a worthy, res peptable
man, who worked as a pressman :p lit.
Raymoad's ofSee.
fcBA Woudroas Age! when native
charms no longer ill far women with,
alarms, when painted rpses adorn the sal
lpw face, and iroa ribbon gives her every
grace j when piles of gold, ber sire-'s ill
gotten galas, are fall atonement for want of
brains : wkea solid traces wield a blunted
darf while musk and moonlight win the
lovers heart.
ltju.Vteor af bM written a tragedy
of which JofcrrBrown is the hero.
The character of the trans-Andean reg
ion of Peru is that of vasts forests, fre
queuted by a few Indian tribes, who shun
the approach of civilized man and resent an
iutrusion into their private haunts by a
shower of poisoned arrows. The aburigi
nees of the valleys of the Eastern Andes
are the most cruel, ill favored and untama
ble of all the South American savages.
They wander nuked through the dense
woods by tracks unknown to any but them
selves, and are armed with bows and slings.
They live on monkey?, bird, bananas and
fib. Of these people, called Cunchos.
little is known, Ttiey are supposed to oc
cupy a large extent of country within the
Brazilian Empire, and they are accused of
cannibalism. Missionaries who have pene
trated into their country affirm that there
are three tribes, the Antes, the Chunchns
and the Casoibas, which war upon each
other for the purpose of gratifying their
passion for human flesh : but tales of can
nibalism arc seldom supported by the testi
mony of the eye-witnesses, and in countries
where animal food is easy to procure they
are seldom entitled to credit The Chun
chos are said to make an exception unknown
in the usages of other tribes they never
eat their female prisoners. This forbear
ance, however, docs not arise from any
chivalrous feeling, but from a confirmed
belief that women are impure beings, and
were created for the torment of man, and
that their flesh is to be eschewed as in the
highest degree poisonous.
A full rigged maid of fashion, with
hoops all boldly set, moved up the sidewalk
gaily observed by all fhe met. The walk
was very wide, but the hoop-skirts were
much wider, and 'twere useless even to
think of walking up beside her. Her
cheeks were red as roses, her face was all
a-smile, and ber tread it was as dainty as
though earth was all too vile. It was her
hour of triumph, and she didn't seem to
know that a coasting sled was coming at t
pace not very slow. But it came, and ere
she knew it, her " props " were knocked
away, aud she was going down the street
with a boy upon his sleigh.
The wind blew quito roughly, turning all
the hoops aback, and of partly smothered
screams thero wasn't any lack, while the
maiden didn't know what she was orwasu't
about, her person much resembled an -umbrella
inside out. The people stopped and
wondered, as the swiftly speeding sleigh
devotedly kept onward, rushing past aud
far away ; the boy cried '.' road,' and liked
it, and safely " shied " his sled, with bis
own feet pointing backward, and the maid's
stuck out ahead. They gained the level
safely, and the maiden full of wrath, looked
back in acgered sUen.ce, oq their quickly
traveled path.
"You good for nothing scamp," she cried,
" I've a mind to shake you well !" "Your
face was covered up, mem, and ynu know I
never'U tell !" said the coasting lad quite
boldly, mid in a jovial mood he bowed, and
said, " good morning, mem, you held your
feet up good !"
t, In a car on a railroad which runs
into New York, a few mornings ago, a scene
occurred which will not soon bp forgotten.
A person, dressed as a gentleman, speaking
to a friend across the car said: " Well, I
hope the war will last six months longer.
If it does I shall have made enough to re
tire from business. n the last six months
I've made a hundred thousand dollars six
months more and shall have enough."
A lady sat behind the speaker, and neces
sarily heard bis remark ; but when he was
done she tapped him on the shoulder, and
said to him ; " Sir, I had two sonsr-one of
them was killed at the battle of Fredericks
burg; the other was killed at the battle of
She was silent a moment, and so were all
around, who heard ber. Then, overcome by
her indignation, she suddenly slapped the
speculator, first on one cheek, then on the
other, and b.efore .he fellow could say a
word the passengers sitting near, who bad
witnessed the whole affair, seized him and
pushed him hurriedly out of the car, as one
not fit to ride with decent people. foil.
Hon. Henry J. Raymond, of the
Times, had a brother in one of the New
York Regiments, and went in pursuit of
that brother's remains. The pirpumstance
is very funny. Severnl days ago Mr.
Raymond received the following telegram :
" c our Droiuer a cup yop fa
at Belle
He hastened to the arav as ouick ts
Uteam could carry hjm, to perform tjo last
offices of affection. Arriving at Belle
Plain, be was a great deal astonished to not
only find bis brother alive, but in yjgorous
health. The original message bad been :
44 your brother's corp is at Belle Plain.
. m mm y
" fjrandma, do yoa know why I cap see
ap jn the air so far ?" asked Charlie, a lit
tle foar year old, of a venerable lady, who
set on the gardep seat knitting. No. my
dear, whj is it T said grandma, bending
her ear tp catch' and remember the wise
sayiag, of the little pet. " Becaase there is
aothiag in the way, responded the yoaag
philosopher, reeamiag bis astronomical
search.' and grandma her knitting.
The London Times, for February ISth,
bas a letter from Charleston, in which soma
interesting particulars are given of the place
and its defeuces:
To assert that Charleston, in its present
attitude, is impregnable, would obviously
bs a ludicrous fallacy ; but it is none tho
loss true that it could not be taken without
an enormous force attacking simultaneously
by sea and lnd, and that the Attack, even
in that case, would have to bo conducted
with desperate valor before it could be sue
cessful. At the entrance of the harbor,
Fort Sumter, thoroughly repaired, and
mounting enormous guns c?t barldte,
frowns at the blocksders, while the neigh
boring points, on Morris Island and Sulli?
van's Island, from which the memorable,
attack upon the fort on the 13th of April,
1861, was conducted, are iu possession of
the Confederates, and are not likely to pas
out of their bauds. Behind Fort Sumter
a new fort, which takes its name from Gen.
Ripley, and is built almost entirely of pal
metto wood, enhances the difficulty to which
ships are expose-! in approaching tho town.
All that two of the most accomplished
engineer officers of the Confederacy Geng.
Leo and Beauregard could suggest or
devise, has been done to strengthen the
town on tho land side. General Lee, be
fore he was moved to Virginia and assumed
his present high position, was for somo
time iq command of Charleston, and by him
tho first lino of land defences was planned
aud executed. This lino has grown and
expanded at the inspiration of Beauregard
into a perfect net-work of earthworks nnd
redoubts, reaching from Cooper river on
the north to the Ashley river on the south.
In addition to the other land apd 8?3
defences of Charleston, great credit is duo
to its defenders for the eucrgy with which
they have built and equipped two large iron
clad rams, which are now lying at the wharf,
and arc likely to be very prominently heard
of if the lung threatened assault sdall fall
upon the head of this " pestilent nest of
sedition.' Three other similar iron clad
rams are in an advanced stage of progress.
It is hardly necessary to state that no
thing has &s yet been done to vepajr the
damage inflicted upon Charleston by the
terrible fire which swept from river to river
on December 12, 1861. From that moment
until jhe present hour the fate of the city
1ms been so doubtful that it has not been
thought worth while to built up, n order
that as scpined at one time quite probable)
the Yankees might destroy. But the fear
ful havoc and devastation then inflicted upon
the town, and which were at tho time tri
umphantly pointed at by the iJorth as the
work of incendiary negroes, are still awfully
manifest and placo the fire of Charleston
in tbe category of the great conflagrations
of this century. There seems every reason
to beljeve that, if the large building in
which I am now writing the Mills House
had caught, tho fire would have swept
down to the battery, and consumed all tho
richest and finest portions of the town.
Mbs. Partington on WEDq-,yas. "I
like to 'tend weddings," said Mrs. Parting-'
ton, as sho came back from one at church,
and bung her shawl up, apd replaced the
bonnet iu the long preserved bandbox ; " I
like to see young people 'corns togethor
with the promise to cherish qnd nourish
each other. But it is a solemn thing is
matrimony a very solemn thing wbero
tho minister comes into the chancery with
hjs surplus on, and goes thrpugu the cere
mony of making them man and wire. 1c
ought to be husband and wife, for it isn't
every husband that turns out to be a man.
I declare 1 never shall forget vtypn Paul
put the nui.jial ring on fny finger, and( said
4 with my goods I thec endow.' He used
to keep a dry goods store thep., afl$l I
thought be was g"ing to give me the wbolo
there was in it. I was so young and sim
ple, ar.d didn't know till afterwards that it
only meapt one calico gown a year. It is a
lovely fight to see young people 4 plighting
the trough,' as the song Bay and coming to ,
consume their vows."
A strange feud hag existed for sev
eral years in the Parish of Eraly, in tbe
archbishopric of Cashcl, Ireland, between
two Roman Catholic factions called the
."Three year old?,?' and the "Four year
olds,'' causpd originally by a dispute as to
the age of a bull kept near Tipperary, one
party assertiug that he was three years old
and the other sweating as lustily ij:at he
was four The feud baa waed more bit
ter and furious with time, and the arch;
bishop of Casbel, in a pastoral letter to the
belligerent portion of hjs flock, recounts a
list of sx persons murdered, five badly
fractured, one dangerously stabbed, eaa
badly beaten, apd a number dangerously
injured, vjptims within he past six yeara
of the ferocity of these factions. The
clergy are making great e'jbrts to put a stop
to tho savage warfare.
jr f What a censorious liar!" exclaimed
old Mrs. Partington, as she read in a paper
au acpoent of a new counterfeit, which waa
said to contain three women and a bust of
Wasbipgtop ob each end. "WhaC ii
she, 4( General Washington on a bust ! 'tie
not'so !" and the old lady lifted her spew
and declared she had known the old gen
tleman for the last thirty years, and she
aever heard of his being on a ibuet-iclt
less with three inmen !"' - " - c " '"

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