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IN A FIRE AT NIGHT.
A DRUMMER'S EXPERIENCE IN A BLAZ ING HOTEL. What He RBa Planned to Do In Just Such a Contingency and What He Really Did When the Opportunity Offered Itself. "It's queer-not to say a source of chagrin-the difference between our in tentions and our performances, isn't it ?" said a commercial traveler at one of the hotels the other night. "I was in the Hotel Baldwin fire in San Francisco' and lost everything I had along with me. including a thousand and odd dol lars' worth of jewelry and all of my sample cases but one, and I was glad to get out with my life at that. It was the first hotel fire in which I had figured. I had often mentally calculated upon what I should do in case a hotel in which I was a guest should begin to confiagrate. I was going to be the cool est headed man within a radius of many miles. If the fire should break out in the middle of the night while I was in bed, I intended to get up very coolly upon being awakened, deliberately slip on enough clothing to keep me out of the hands of the police upon making My appearance, get my money and then pick up my most valuable sample case and the valise in which I had packed articles of clothing in current use and walk out, leaving the rest of my gear to take its chance upon the fire being squelchet On my way through the cor ridors. in case I met up with any beau tiful, supplicating maidens or ,any aged, incapable women. I had it all pic tured how I would drop my two grips and take them down the seething stair case, one on each arm. presenting a heroic and inspiring spectacle as I emerged from the caldron of flame. "Well, what happened? Luckily for me. I had a third story front room in the Baldwin. The fire broke out in the basement along toward 3 o'clock in the morning. I snored luxuriously until about a dozen engines were throwing streams on the lower portion of the structure. When I was in the middle of a dream that I was standing in front of a lot of big stores on a great business thoroughfare. throwing croquet balls through huge plate glass windows-it was the smashing glass down below that got me into that strain of dream ing-I woke up. The glare in my room was something luminous. Did I slowly stretch, say to myself, 'Here's that long waited for fire, and it's up to me to be the man of the hour and the real thing?' "Not much did II I just hopped up like a man who finds a family of centi peds in his bed. I grabbed a pair of rubbers that were lying alongside my bed and put them on the wrong feet jiving all the time during the perform ance a realistic exhibition of a man undergoing a swamp chill. Then I snatched a mackintosh that I had thrown over my trunk on coming in the night before and folded it after consid erable difficulty, owing to my chill tremblings. over my pyjamas. Then I reached for a hat, and of course it was about my luck to get the worst hat I owned out of half a dozen scattered over the room. Then I made for the door. I want you to understand that I made for the door in a hurry too. "On my way to the door I stumbled over one of my sample cases and kicked it over in front of the door. I had to pick it up in order to open the door. and so I hung on to it and took it along with me. I afterward found it to be the least consequential sample case I had, one that I could very easily have dispensed with compared with those that I lost. Jewelry? Money? Duds? 1 wasn't thinking any more of them when I frantically unlocked and un barred that door of mine than I was of taking a balloon before breakfast in the morning and starting for the north pole. I just wanted to get out, that's all. The halls were filled with smoke, I found, but after ten years of stopping annual ly at the Baldwin, generally in the same room, I knew the stairways and the route down to the lobby pretty well, and I just put my free hand over my mouth and nose and made the rush. "D'ye suppose that if I had met 40 of the most beautiful maidens on the globe-supplicating, imploring maidens -standing there confused in that third floor hallway I'd have picked 'em up one in each arm and, permitting them to gently nestle up against my mackin tosh. have carried them triumphantly down the stairs and out into the street and under the broad arch of heaven and all that? No. I wouldn't have. It's grievous and grewsome to have to con fees it, but I'd just have yelled at them to follow my route and then have kept on getting over territory myself. I fell down the first flight of stairs, from top to bottom, then picked myself up with the one idea of getting out, scampered to the head of the second flight of stairs and fell down those. I lit on the flag ging of the lobby, and in two more sec onds I was in the street. When, a few minutes later, I reflected upon my lose and the general hamlike character of my conduct, did I want to go back and get my things and do the whole thing over again right and in accordance with any preconceived intentions in case of a hotel fire ? Nope. I was content to stand there in the street and figure how I'd perform the next time I got similarly caught. "-Washington Star. An Undertakils. "Isabel, does your husband get angry when he tells you to wake him early and you don't do it ' "No, dear. Hlie knows that I know he doesn't mean it. "-Chicago Record. Action repeated becomes habit. Habit long continued becomes second nature. We are today what we were accu tomed to do yesterday and the day be re.-I.ymafn Abbott S r aP the German empire eboadt4 Oo p roaaM belonging to oth * opatrk. He Caught O'Connell. Daniel O'Connell, the famous orator, when taking a ride in the neighborhood of his house, had occasion to ask an urchin to open a gate for him. The lit tle fellow complied with much alacrity and looked up with such an honest pleasure at rendering the slight service that O'Connell, by way of saying some thing-anything-ask!ed : "What's your namet: 'ly boy ?" "Daniel O'Connell, s:r." replied he stoutly. "And who's your father?" demand ed the astonished liberator. "Daniel O'Connell. sir." O'Connell muttered a word or two below his breath and then added aloud: "When I see you again, I'll give you sixpence." Riding briskly on, he soon forgot the incident and fell to thinking of graver matters, when, after traveling some miles, he found his path obstructed by some fallen timber, which a boy was stoutly endeavoring to remove. On looking more closely he discovered it to be the same boy he had met in the morning. "What!" cried he. "How do you come to be here now?" "You said, sir, the next time you seen me you'd give me sixpence, " said the little fellow, wiping the perspira tion from his brow. Somebody's Mother. A ragged woman was crossing the corner of a public park in a large city where the children of the poor are ac customed to play, many of them bare footed. A burly policeman stationed at the corner watched the woman sus piciously. Half way across she stopped and picked up something which she hid in her apron. In an instant the police man was by her side. With a gruff voice and threatening manner he de manded: "What are you carrying off in your apron?" The woman seemed embarrassed and refused to answer. Thereupon the offi cer of the law, thinking that she had doubtless picked up a pocketbook which she was trying to make away with, threatened to arrest her unless she told him at once what she had in her apron. At this the woman reluctantly unfold ed her apron and disclosed a handful of broken glass. In stupid wonder the policeman ask ed: "What do you want with that stuff?" A flush passed over the woman's face; then she answered simply: "If you please, sir, I just thought I'd take it out of the way of the children's feet. "-Detroit Free Press. Too Much For Belief. One of the brethren went to Knox ville last August and fell by the way side-he got drunk down there. After several months the news of his fall reached his rural home, and he was brought tip before the church. "Brethren," he said, "I admit I got drunk in Knoxville last August, but I didn't mean to do it. Hew I have suf fered in my conscience and in my pride God alone knows, and I trust he has forgiven me. Brethren, I want you to forgive me. I didn't go to get drunk. I took a glass or two of light wine with a friend, and later took a bottle of beer on ice, and then" "Brethren," interrupted a good old brother in the amen corner, "I would be willing to forgive the brother for his fall if he would make a clean breast of it and tell the truth. But I move we turn him out for lying. He has lied to us. Whoever heard of ice in August?" And they turned him out because he dared to say that he had seen ice in Au gust.-Sweetwater (Tenn.) Telephone. Her Age at Monte Carlo. A curious story comes from Monte Carlo the heroine of which has lost a large sum through excusable female vanity. She entered the gaming saloon while a former friend of hers was win ning in a sweeping style that seemed destined to break the bank. "I am so glad to see you here, prince, and in such luck, too!" she exclaimed. "Do tell me a lucky number. It is sure to win, for you are uow in the vein." The prince generously placed a pile of gold louis before the vivacious lady, whose beauty had successfully defied the effects of 36 winters, and said: "Put it all on the number of your years and reap a golden harvest." The lady reflected, hesitated and then placed the pile on 27. An instant later the croupier sang out: "Thirty-six red wins!" "HeavensI" muttered the lady as she fainted. "Thirty-six is exactly my age!" age!"' Burning Heretles. The following items, copied from the municipal records of Canterbury by The Windsor Magazine, show that the burning of heretics in 1535 (the time of the genial King Henry VIII) was an inexpensive amusement: To bringing a heretic from London..... 14s 8d For wood co burn him .................... 2s Od 3or gunpowder.. ..................... d A stake and staple............. .......... 8d Total.................................... 17s Sd They Have No Nerves. A German tourist declares that what principally distinguishes Chinamen from us is their utter freedom from nervousness. No matter how much they exert themselves, they always remain phlegmatic, and they can sleep any where, in any position and in any amount of noise. A Person to Be Avoided. "Palanquin is certainly a man to avoid. People have told me stories about him which are not edifying." "Really ? You do well to tell me, for I need not now give him back the money he loaned me. "-Figaro. The best watchmakers' oil comes from the jaw of the shark. About half a pint is found in each shark, A TWO HOUR BREAKFAST. It I. One of the Institutions of New Orleans. There is a place in New Orleans that strangers are always glad to halv point ed out-Begeuy's, over in the French quarter, kept by Mmo. Begeny (pro nounced Bigaay, with the accent on the last syllable), and famous for the hreak fasts it serves at 11 o'clock every morn ing. Originally this breakfast was intend ed for the butchers, and they cortribut ed to it the daintiest meats that the splendid French market in New Orleans provided from day to day Gradually outsiders began to come in, and now one must engage a seat at breakfast two days ahead. The morning the writer was there a distinguished judge of the supreme court was the principal visitor, and he. with his family and several guests from Boston. sat at the head of the table. One long table occupies the little dining room, to which one climbs by a rickety flight of stairs. Every French man. when he gets up, takes a cup of coffee and a roll, and at 11 o'clock eats his real breakfast. This is the meal that Mme. Begeuy serves, and it costs $1 The kitchen is right off of the dining room. and there is no pretense of adorn ment. Everything is as plain and sim ple as it can be. excepting the food, and this is the perfection of the gastronomic art. A bottle of claret stood at each place. which, with water imported from Germany and called "blue label.' was all there was to drink until the lit tle cup of black coffee finished the re past. The first thing served was duck. It was excellent, and so was everything else included in the eight or nine courses that came on. and that con cluded, singularly enough. with liver. so cooked that the only regret was that the piece was not larger. It takes two hours to eat a breakfast at Begeuy's, and you get enough to last you for all day. -Leslie's Weekly A GRIM CEREMONY. An Emperor's Death Hastened by Rehearsing His Own Funeral. Emperor Charles V of Spain brought about his death by rehearsing his own funeral. For the last two years of his life, after resigning the scepter of Spain and the Netherlands to his son Philip. in 1556, Charles retired to the monas tery of Yuste in Estremadura. and there lived a cloister life in close inter course with the monks, devoting much time to religions exercises. During this period, prompted it may be by the ex ample of Cardinal de Ia Marck, who for several years before his death, in 1528, had annually rehearsed his own obsequies, the emperor. in the summer of 1558. formed the resolution to cele brate his own funeral before he died. Accordingly, on Aug. 30 of that year, the grim farce was carried out with the most elaborate ceremonial. The imperial domestics marched with black tapers in their hands, and the emperor. clad in sable weeds, himself followed, wearing his shroud. While the solemn mass for the dead was sung before the high altar in the cathedral Charles gave up his ta per to the priest, typifying thereby his resignation of life, and was solemnly laid in his coffin. The ceremony closed with sprinkling holy water on his body: then, all the attendants retiring, the doors were shut, and Charles rose from his narrow bed and withdrew to his pri vate apartment. The damping of the graveclothes in duced a chill, which, aided no doubt by the mental depression caused by the grewsome ceremony, induced a fever which ended in his death three weeks later, on the 21st of September. 1588. A Missing Link. It will doubtless surprise many who have never even heard of the brute that there still exists on the island of Java an animal, or rather a reptile, which seems to be the missing link between the ichthyosauri of prehistoric days and the well known saurians of modern times. This animal is known to the Javanese as "linguin. " It fell to the luck of Baron Alfonso Pereira, consul general of Austria-Hungary. to shoot one of these beasts some years ago. Its length was between nine and ten feet, and it looked a cross between a snake and a crocodile. Though the beast was cut and wounded in its encounter with Baron Pereira it did not bleed. Pennsylvania Sand Mines. There are all kinds of mines in Penn sylvania. The greatest are of course the iron and coal mines, but few people would guess that the next extensive mining industry is the sand mines in western Pennsylvania. These mines are rarely underground, however, and many of them are viewed with wonder by passengers on the Pennsylvania, ap proaching Pittsburg. Whole mountains are being dug away. and the granular rocks forming them are being reduced to sand for the manufacture of glass in and about Pittsburg. -Philadelphia Call. The Omnipresent Rose. Every continent on the globe, with the exception of Australia, produces wild roses. There can be little doubt that the rose is one of the oldest flowers in the world and, perhaps, grown from the wind blown seeds in Paradise. In Egypt it is depicted on numbers of early bas-reliefs, dating from 8000 to 8500 B. C. Rosewater, or the essence of roses, is mentioned by Homer in the "Iliad, " and the flower is spoken of in the Proverbs of Solomon. Lamblike Resignation. Charles Lamb, when reminded by his sisters of the days when they were poor and capable of enjoying the smallest treat with the keenest relish, so differ ent from the days when they were rich and surfeitad. said, "Well. Mary, since we are in easy circumstances we must endeavor to put up with it." Too .Inch For ll;34 It is evidently one thing to work without knowing how much we do and pnot hter thing to have o:ir labors mapped ont bc:'cre us in d~ :i. FoUr several months a business hIluie in this city has enjoyed the ministrations of an un usually faithful colored janitor. Always prompt and faithful, unerring in the discharge of his various duties, Tom was a great favorite with the firm, and the prospect was that he would abide with them many years. One day it occurred to the senior partner that a little more system in Tom's routine would be advisable and perhaps render his work a trifle easier, so he wrote out in plain characters an outline of the chores Tom had been do ing every week, arranged perhaps with more convenience to the firm and to Tom. Unfortunately Tom could not read, so the list was given to another man employed on rougher work, with instructions to read it to Tom and ex plain to him each day's prescribed du ties. When the schedule was read to Tom, however, the effect was astonishing and disastrous. He listened quietly, but his eyes grew bigger and his black wool seemed to bristle on his head. At the end he reached for his cap and said to the porter: "Good gracious! I ain' goin to do all that work. " Then he walked out and hasn't been seen since.-In dianapolis Journal. Tricked the Vicious Camel. A valuable camel working in an oil mill in Africa was beaten by its driver. Seeing that the camel had treasured up the injury and was only waiting a fa vorable chance for revenge, the driver kept a strict watch upon the animal. Time passed away. The camel, know ing that it was watched, was quiet and obedient, and the driver began to think that the beating was forgotten, when one night, after several months had gone by, the man was sleeping on a raised platform in the mill, while, as is customary, the camel was stabled in a corner. Happening to awake, the driver saw by the bright moonlight that when all was quiet the animal looked cautiously around, rose softly and, stealing toward a spot where a bundle of clothes and a burnoose thrown carelessly on the ground resembled a sleeping figure, cast itself with violence upon them, rolling with all its weight and tearing them most viciously with its teeth. Satisfied that its revenge was complete, the camel was returning to its corner when the driver sat up and spoke. At the sound of his voice and realizing the mistake it had made, the animal was so mortified at the failure and discov er9 of its scheme that it dashed its head against the wall and died on the spot. Easy Wnay to Be Generous. In the Baptist church of a New Eng land village was an old man who had all the Christian graces save one, and that one was the grace of liberality. He would do anything in the world for the cause of religion but give up his money. At the close of the financial year 1869 the church found itself $400 in debt. A church meeting was called, and it was voted to circulate a subscrip tion paper on the spot and endeavor to thus raise the sum needed. This was done, and the old gentleman did not put his name on the paper. The result was rather disheartening, $200 only having been pledged. Silence reigned for a moment, when one of the most generous men in the church moved that "we double our subscriptions." In stantly the old gentleman was on his feet, and with extraordinary fervor cried. "I second the motion." He evidently felt that he was thus doing his part in hastening a most de sirable result. -Harper's Round Table. What Love Ic. Miss Sophie Loury employs an ex ceedingly communicative old colored man to attend to odd jobs about her studio now and then, and his sayings have become proverbial among Mise Loury's familiars. He came to work one day not long ago very full of the goings on of a young man he knew, who was in love. "But what is love, uncle?" asked Miss Loury. Uncle wagged his head wisely. "Miss Sophie," he said solemnly, "love is dfzziness, unizziness and in attention to business. " And really I donet know of any defini tion more concise, complete and alto gether adequate than that. -Washing ton Post. Study It Out. Here is a highly interesting paradox, which may amuse or bewilder, as the case may be. It is supposed to have been invented by Socrates: A. says that all Athenians areliars. A. is an Athenian and therefore a liar. Therefore his statement that all Athenians are liars is not true, and consequently all Athe nians tell the truth. A. is an Athenian, and hence tells the truth. Wherefore his statement that all Athenians are liars is true. Therefore he is a liar and his statement false, and so on. Force of Waves. In a high gale mile long waves, 200 feet from trough to trough and 40 feet high, roar along the sea at the rate of 20 miles an hour, with a weight of 60, 000 pounds for every foot of their length. Upon these a 600 foot ship, such as the New York or the Paris, will rise like a floating leaf, but if the ill fated ship 'drifts upon a lee shore blows of 100, 000 tons, delivered with remorseless fury, crush it like an eggshell. A Matrimonial Musing. The average young man thinks he is in a position to marry if he has $250 in the bank and a steady job. Hope is a great factor in a love affair. After the man is 40 he wonders how he ever did it, and when he eats pie at night and has the nightmare he always imagines that he is marrying again on $6M0. Atchison Globs. HONESTY THE BEST POLICY. Honest goods, honest prices and honest dealings will surely bring suc cess. Every hour proves it. The last days of the nineteenth century show nothing more clearly. We beliee hibis fact and our works demonstrate our be lief. Our goods are warranted to be exactly as represented, that is honest; our goods are guaranteed to give per fect satisfaction, that is honest. If any article of jewelry of our manufacture does not give perfect satisfaction we will refund the money paid for such articles; that, too, is honest. .James Wheeler of Billings, Mont., has a complete assortment of our goods in his store for sale at prices that defy competition. These goods are made from rolled gold, gold filled or solid gold stock, and are warranted to give perfect satisfaction or the money will be refunded. W. F. MAIN CO., Eastern Factory corner Friendship and Eddy streets, Providence, R. I. Western Factory (largest in the world) under process of construction at East Iowa City, Ia. Over 52,000 feet of floor space. 929--4 Sick headache absolutely and posi tively cured by using Moki Tea. A pleasant herb drink. Cures constipa tion and indigestion, makes you eat, sleep; work and happy. Satisfaction guaranteed or money back. 25 cents and 50 cents, Sold by Chapple Drug Co. Save Diamond "C" Soap wrappers and get many valuable prizes. *....THE**.... Shuart Earth Grader H AS large capacity for moving earth S and for grading same to perfect surface for irrigation. Hundreds iu use all over the irrigated west. For descriptive circular and price address The Babeoek Hardtuare Co. BILLINGS, MONT., or The Shuart Grader Co., Ifrs. w-f-e OBERLIN, OHIO. EGGS FOR 1AiTClING There Are None Better to Be Had Than Ours. Our breeding pens were se lected and mated by I. K. Felch, President of the Amer ican Poultry Association. Light Brahmas (strai), B. P. Rocks, WYhite Leghorns, WVhite Wyandottes. Eggs $2.50 per setting Two settings for $4.00 A limited amouht of stock for sale. Address Riverside Poultry Co. TOSTON, MONT. 95 9 VAhLE & POTTER, ...THE DAISY... Saloon and Sample Rlooms The Best Goods in LIQUORS #r CIGARS Billiard and Club Rooms Old Stand, Opposite Depot The truth plainly told If they only fought with WEALTH razors in the war many is all the advertising colored gentleman would cannot buy you happ have made an undying bu oe o worthy goods require. reputation as a great ness, but one of our leader. So we lead with DOUGLASS SHOES our assortment of new $10.00 Overcoats will 3.0-3.50-4.00 and stylish goods in all bring you comfoit. I3.00-3.50-L O00 d Epartments. bring you comfort. ZIMMERMAN & CO. ZIMMERMAN & CO. ZIMMERMAN & CO. E-4 9z& 0 0 T NVql I . WJIZ '0 - 1 NVW OITIWWIZ 00 0p 00._.H - IZ .geqlualq j uogtI V i88 seq s jnoq3& t dlWalao q pus pus alms oooim ano jo eoqs XIlseu lm!M 09'S Allejaqjl oiqnd eq3 But eco £nq lnq ';uesdoea '00 $S'0Q* `00'2 .(no -isoae ao;.pooZa ano -saw eql of !lIin Jon en us iu!is.M ano soplo fno a UeOq1 pu.-.u..tJae -mseldd .aJ1ea lTqB BSE 1 eql oM eqs 'seoea -p- saio elat, ! 'saepsel qassz 8ue!qaemoa joJ J.o !d a noq om Leuor -&8 se sane LOPm dm. .ol. ipub- JOJ aeseq. e.t L.ae.e e-a sw aeleop emo4 q0(1 e; .sInoL pinoo quot TH5lIDEBOARD ROBERT Ih. lIX, Prop. M11xed Drinks, Fine Liquors and Cigars. A Quiet Place for Business Men and Courteous Treatment. Montana Avenue, Center of Main Blqck F. C.CORSETS MAKE American Beauties. LATEST MODELS. On o Bx... KALAMAZOO CORSET Co. SOLE MANUFACTURERS. SOLD BY THE FASHION LEE EISENBERG, PROP. 3-3. f3m Notice of Hearinlg. IN THE DISTRICT COURT OF THE Seventh Judicial District of the State of Montana, in and for the Coun ty of Yellowstone. In the matter of the estate of Clar ence Durbin, deceased.-Notice of time of hearing petition for probate of will. Notice is hereby given that Agnes Y. Soule has filed with the clerk of this court a petition praying for the probate of what purports to be the last will and testament of Clarence Durbin, deceased, and that Friday, 14th day of April. A. D. 1899, at 10 o'clock in the forenoon of said day, that being a day of a regu lar term of said court, before the judge of said court, at the court room, at the court house, in the city of Billings, in said county and state, has been set as the time and place for hearing the said petition, when and where any person interested may appear and show cause why said will should not be admitted to probate and why said petition should not be granted. Dated this 3rd day of April, A. D. 1899. T. A. WILLIAMS, Clerk of Said Court. O. F. Goddard, Attorney for Petitioner. 99-3 First Publication March 10, 1899-ti CONTEST NOTICE. Department of the Interior, United States Land Office, .Bozeman, Mont., March 1, 1899. A sufficient contest affidavit having been filed in this office by Henry Terrell, contestant, against homestead entry No. 1821, made June 1, 1893, for lots 3, 4, SE% SW 4, SW% SE%, section 18, township 3 N, range 22 E, by Robert B. Stephenson, Jr., contestee, in which it is alleged that said homestead has been wholly abandoned by said Robert B. Stephenson, Jr., said parties are hereby notified to appear, respond and offer evi dence touching said allegation at 10 o'clock a. m. on April 20, 1899, before A. Fraser, U. S. commissioner, Billings, Mont., and that final hearing will be held at 10 o'clock a. m. on April 20, 1899 before the register and receiver at the United States land office in Bozeman, Mont. The said contestant having, in a proper affidavit, filed March 1, 1899, set forth facts which show that after due diligence, piersonal service of this notice can not be made, it is hereby ordered and directed that such notice be given by due and proper publication. A. L. LOVE, Register. WANTED - SEVERAL TRUSTWORTHY persons in this state to manage our busi ness in their own and nearby counties. It is mainly office work conducted at home. Salary straight $900 a year and expenses-definite. bona fide, no more, no less salary. Monthly $75. Refer ences. Enclose self-addressed stamped envelope. Herbert E. Hess, Prest., Dept. M. Chicago. 10-7-6