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Volume xvii. Helena, Montana, Thursday, May 3, 1883. No. 24. rCBLlHHKD EVERY THURSDAY MORNIXG. - O Terms of Subscription. WEEKLY HERALD: One Y ear...........................................................84 00 Sis Months........................................................ 2 00 Postage, in all eases, Prepaid. DAILY HERALD: City Subscribers, delivered by carrier, 81 50 a month One Year, by mail...........................................812 00 Six Months, " .......................................... 6 00 Changes of address will be made promptly aiul cheerfully, but reejuests MUST give the post office FROH as well as the one TO which such change is de sired, in order to receive attention. ««-Ail communications should be addressed to FISK BROS., Publishers, Helena, Montana. OLD-FASHIONED FANCIES. Yes, that's my daughter, stranger, the one you just called fair ; I won't gainsay you, seein'she's got her mother's eyes and hair. And she —she was the purtiest once for many and many a mile ; The lads strove hard in days gone by to win her favorin' smile. Xu\v Nell is growin' alike her ; d'ye know, the old Squire said ? He'd traveled all thro' furrin' parts, and now he, too, is dead). He saw my gal among the band who bid him 'Welcome Home,' An' he said her face looked jest to him like a pic tured one in Rome. Her voice! You hear leadin' o' Sundays in the choir ; Wal, that too is her mother's—a trifle, mebbe, high— It might ha'been her fortune? sol liaveheerd be lore ; A city chap that told her first I showed him to the door. If they ever sot her standing behind them foot lights' glare Mv Ellen would be askin' who sent her baby there. And once my city brother came, a stranger, e'en as you — You see, for all the by gone years he'd over much to do. You've heard his name—oh yes, they say it s big on Stock and 'Change. We hardly met as brothers. I'd allers thought it strange That he never spared a day or week to calls of kith or kin, . An' lie talked in oflf-han' way of business rush and din. , But I still remember, stranger, the tearsour mother Anyhow she longed and called for him the very hour she died. ... . Wal, he was took with Nellie, her face and pretty ways; , . She talked and read and sang to him all tho the summer days, An' when his city papers came she liked to run them through, An" chat to him of polities, and stocks and mar The rarest biziiess talent,' that's he said she'd got, An if he had a heart that charm'd, reach th so.t He knew one other woman with just such brains And in that city store of his she handled silks and furs, , . An' bargained with the traders, and made them bargain square, . An' #<>t the 'men folks under thumb and kept them safely there. She was the rarest one, he said, the quickest tongue and eye ; „ She watched the workers best ot all, and made the With training. Ho should Nellie be, 1 told him, stranger, No! . . Not in such paths of worldiness 1 d set my child I think a woman's hand is made to lead, and not Or if she has a higher gift, to help the ones that When*past a feme or two to turn and pull a strag i'hat's what my angel wife would want to see her daughter do. ... Sol'll keep the fair face by me to make the ole house bright, The shadow of lier mother s grave lias never van ished quite. . . ... I 'll keep the sweet voice l>y me : it minds me that Another voice is joining in the angel choir of.love. I d rather know her quick of brain to think oi kindly deed, . , . And deft of hand to minister to brethern in their Than hear her name was mentioned with the wise and grand and great ; . .... I'd fear me then that she might fail to reach the Golden Gate; . , . .. That the snares that Turk m roses might stay her Froin'where her waitin' mother stands in readi ness to greet." ________ DAY LILIES. Laughter so soon is over. Summer so soon is done, What has a lilv of fragrance After its day in the sun ? _ Dewy and fair in the morning, Perfumed ami pale at noon ; Dewy and dead at sunset A ghost by the light of the moon. What have you to remember ? What have I to forget ? Laughter, jests and trifling—lines With dewdrops wet, One for every morning—a lily Counts for a day ; Days and summer and lilies, How quickly passed away. Which of us was in earnest? Which of us was in jest? When the lilies breathing fragrance Died slowly on my breast. Because they pleased your fancy— Because my mood was new Do you believe that lilies May leave the scent of rue? There's nothing to remember, There's nothing to forget. But laughter, jests and trifling, And yet—and yet—and yet i In all the summer's coming All lilies under the skies, Will bring back to you low laughter And the blue of a woman's eyes. 1 neither hurt nor healed you, You'll be no more false nor true To me and my summer fancies, Than—I shall be to you, But to the end the lilies Will be of your past a part, . And you'll think you see them lying A bloom on a woman's heart. Throughout all of our summer This is what I have won. I may chance to be remembered When lilies stand in the sun. You will forget the woman— I shall forget the man— But the fragrance of the lilies, Forget it if you can. But I have my little triumph— A woman's—light and vain; And would it have paid me, think you, To have wrested it from pain ? Grant you each word I utter Is a trifle light as air ; Yet out of my little triumph There grows a little prayer. Give other women roses, All bloom to them is free ; I—1 have earned the lilies ; Leave them to me—to me. Those who jest in the morning, Should jest at set of sun ; When will end this jesting? When will the day be done ? But 1 have my little triumph— A woman's—light and vain ; It would have paid but poorly To have wrested it from pain. And to the end the lilies Will be of the past a part ; Once—once an August lily Found root—in a woman's heart. IN LOVE WITH EDWIN BOOTH. it . A Foolish Girl Tempts Fate and For tunate in the Man's Honesty. [New York Star.] Speaking of the persecutions of actors re minds me of a very pretty story regarding ing Edwin Booth. It was while he was playing at the Winter Garden that a young m'ss in her teens fell deperately in love with him. She was the only daughter of wealthy parents, and night after night she would make some excuse to leave home and go to the theatre. She deluged Booth with love letters, and finally he wrote to her telling her to meet him at the stage door at the end of the performance on a certain evening. She was there according to appointment. Booth handed her into his carriage and gave some whispered instructions to the' driver. The horses were driven rapidly, and in a few moments the young girl found herself in front of her own home. The carriage stopped and Booth assisted her to alight. Taking her arm as they walked up the steps, he rang the bell. It was late when the girl's father, who had become very anxious about her whereabouts, opened the door. When he saw her in the company of the actor he started back in astonishment. "Mr.-," said Booth very quietly, "I have brought your daughter home. She has been foolish, very foolish, hut has promised never to be so again, and I advise you to take better care of her." With these words he turned and left. The young girl is a happy wile and mother now, but she never tires of telling the lesson she received from the great actor German and American Soldiers. [Critic.] The German army is a machine of a com plex but most highly developed character. Each part of the machine is admirably adapted to the functions it has to perform, and none of its parts are superfluous. The machine will stand severe strains and rough usage without injury. This idea of inani mate machinery as opposed to animate voli tion appeal's at every turn in studying the Germans or any other foreign army, and these armies have the advantages of the ma chine. It* must not be supposed from this that the German army is a mere slave to tradition and routine, and deficient in indi vidual intelligence. Such is by no means the case. The Germans, realizing that the "unexpected always happens," have studied every combination, movement and accident in war, and they have drilled every officer and soldier, each in the measure of his re sponsibility, to be prepared for every emer gency. No matter what happens, therefore, the officer is ready *to meet it, not by exer cising his ready wit and common sense, but by applying principles which have been drilled into his very nature, and which cover every case. He is the very embodiment of a professional specialist. This excessive de velopment is, however, made in some degree at the expense of his general intelligence, of his self reliance, and of his independent in itiative. Outside of his profession (speaking of the whole body of officers, not of selected corps) he is narrow-minded and compara tively uninformed ; in any business but the one in which he has been so thoroughly trained he would be helpless until he slowly learned its details and first principles. In other words, his mind acts, not intuitive ly, but from prescription and instruction. The grand American armies, whici* fought the war of 1861-65, presented characteristics the opposite of these. The had no training but such as they acquired—often with bitter experience—in the progress of the war itself, and their officers acted almost invariably upon their undrilled judgment. The idea of a machine was never a good simile for them. Military sulxirdination, in its strictest sense, was almost entirely lacking. Yet they acquired the most perfect knowledge of the essential principles of war, and after 1863 they were as superb a body of practical sol diers as ever existed : some of their campaigns (such as Vicksburg and Atlanta on one side, and Manasas and Chancellorsville on the other) can be judged from the highest pro fessional standpoint, and are the equals in brilliancy of the campaign of 1870, or those of 1796,1805, or 1814. The same result was obtained by two exactly opposite systems ; in one case special professional training, in the other by development of reliance upon ready wit.__ ___ A Reporter Returns Good lor Evil. "Who is that Angry looking Man ?" "That, my Son, is a Reporter." "Do Reporters always look Mad ?" "Not always." "WRat Ails that one ?" "He has Been to a Church supper." "Wasn't he Invited ?" "Oh, yes. Five of the prettiest Girls in the parish Urged him to go. "I should Think he would have liked That." "He did. And each of the girls Wanted him to give l my Table' a special Mention. ' "Did he get any Supper ?" "Of course he did. He bought A five-cent Sandwich for a Quarter, and ate it after the rest got through." "Where is he Going now ?" 44 He is goiDg to the Office to write tuât the parish Church supper last Night was a most agreeable success. The lovely laces m the fair Maidens in attendance on the Tables were Only rivaled by the Charming liberali ty with which they Dispensed the finest of Viands." * "Are Reporters ever Sarcastic? ' "No, my Son, never." Getting Even. Detroit Free Press.] On a Lake Shore train coming into De troit the other day a newly married couple, the bride appearing to lie about 25 years old, and the groom being a dapper little chap a year or two younger. A lady who came aboard at Wyandotte took a seat just ahead and after a few minutes she heard them critisizing her bonnet and cloak and general stvle. Without showing the least resent ment in her countenance, she turned around in her seat and said : "Madame, will you have you son close the window behind you ?" . The "son" closed his mouth instead, and the "madame" didn't giggle again for sixteen miles. SHOSHONE FALLS. The Great Encyclopædia. The celebrated "Chinese Encyclopædia,' which was purchased some months ago by the Trustees of the British Museum for fifteen hundred pounds sterling, has been safely lodged in that institution. It forums I A Description of the N iagara of Idaho. ; A [Idaho World. In the midst of one of Nature's dreariest solitude—America's Sahara—surrounded by what seems an interminable wilderness bar ren of all growth but sage ; walled in on all sides by precipitous and insurmountable cliffs and walls of rock, are Shoshone Falls. There Snake river's mighty volume of water, emerging from its placid stream above, sud denly leaps a distance of seventy-five feet, pauses an instant, as if hesitating to take the fearful bound, and then takes its final plunge into the watery profound, nearly 300 1'eet below! I have stood for hours and watched, without wearying, upon the sum mit of the mighty walls of basalt which towers so grandly about this marvel of na ture, and watched the descending w T aters as they poured down, down, down into the aw ful abyss that yawns so far below ; watched the clouds of spray as they rose up and formed in misty magnificence between the sides of the tremendous chasm, blending their tender frost work of silver and glass with the purple and green and gold of the sun's light, until all the lines of the prism were seized, woven into fantastic bands of beauty and bound around the stormy brow of the majestic cataract; watched the great river as it hurried away from the fearful scene ; heard the deafening roar and crash of the madly rushing torrent, as it swept in terrific grandeur by, and my soul has stood still, awed into silent reverence by the in comparable spectacle. Nowhere else in nature have these great falls a counterpart. Nowhere else in nature is there such an overwhelming manifestation of irresistable power, coupled with such rude savagery, as hovers arround Shoshone Falls. In a vast sea of sage, and repulsive as vast, bounded in all directions by a dull monotony of plain, in the midst of a desolation inconceivably desolate, they are a gem of matchless beauty set. saiely lodge., m mat msntuuom ,um|| tbe most important acquisition to the great tional library which has been made for some time past. The work is remarkable as hav ing parallel no to it in extent in the literature of other countries. It is comprised iiKfive thousand and twenty volumes, and consists of a vast thesaurus, into which is digested the entire mass of Chinese literature extant at the date of its publication, classified un der appriate headings, and accompanied with illustrative drawings, plans and maps. It includes treatises ranging from 1150 B. C., to about the year 1700 of onr era, and it pro fesses to represent every branch of Chinese literature, with the single exception of works of fiction. It was compiled in the early part of the eighteenth century by an impe rial commission under the orders of the Em peror Kang Hi Bo, well known to us Irom the accounts of the Jesuit missionaries, whom he favored and assisted, and who were his instructors in European art and learning. This Emperor was himself a great writer, and he was struck in the cours«, of his liter ary investigations by the alterations and cor ruptions which are gradually being intro duced into the texts of standard works. He therefore conceived the idea of reprinting from the most authentic editions the whole body of Chinese literature then in existence. ' 9 body of Chinese literature tuen in exisience A commission of high officials was appointed to select and classify the texts, and its labors extended over forty years, terminating in publication the work in 1726. For the purpose of printing it a complete font of copper type was cast under the direction of the Jesuits, who probably superintended the printing. Only one hundred copies were printed, a number which has been much reduced since the time of the issue by various casualties. The whole impression was distributed as presents among the princes of the imperial family and the great State officials. The * family and the great State officials, lne £ type used in the production ot the work is said to have been melted down shortly after ward and converted into money to meet the exigencies of the government during a finan cial crisis, and in this way the means of pro ducing a second edition was destroyed. The copies which still exist are in the hands of the families of the original recipients, from; one of whom the copy iust happily brought to London has been purchased. So com pletely private is the ownership of copies of this "Encyclopædia" in China that no copy is known to be accessible for référence to the general body of students ol that country. ^ ____ Saved by Sally. a —7 . ,, ! [Carson (Nev.) Appeal.] ; Not long since a young man in Carson got married and started for California with his j voung wife. As he boarded the train, his * Lhw , g00d - by " dgave him ,he 1 the aged sire, shaking with: n"°er°^ e me '^TnT^r goTntf a 'placé ! where you would not take your wife." j The couple settled in Mariposa county, ! St '^^'p^rhTafhniTânli they werefortunate enough to track a grizzly to his lair among some of the bowlders in the chaparral. As the two approached, the bear roused up and sent forth a howl of tie fiance which shook the trees. "Go in there and kill 'im." said the old man excitedly. The son held back ; further acquaintance with the bear seemed in some respects unde sirable. Count me out," he said. a ». Yinnr me uul uc "Have I crossed the seas and settled in America to raise a coward ?" shouted the a feSer^nSSüig a gun. ; ' I bnt recollect your advice when I left ; Carson " was the reply. "How can I forget your°sage ^precepts. Didn't yon tell me never ! to go where I couldn't take my wife ? How wauld Sal look there with that bear ?" ; The man clasped his dutiful son to his bosom and as the bear issued forth ex- j ?Sd ! "Sneaking about Sally, let us hasten home; ! onr prolonged absence might cause her need- ! Km." - In about fifteen minutes they had reached the ranch, the old man a little ahead, and the distance was about four miles. THE DISTRESS SIGNAL. Affiliate. [Texas Siftings.] A colored man was busily engaged in saw ing wood for Col. Powis, when the latter ob served that the bosom of the man and the brother, so to speak, was adorned by an Odd Fellow's breastpin. "Do the white„,Ddd Fellows and the colored Odd Fellows in Austin affiliate?" asked Col. Powis. "Don't fillyate wuf a cuss, bnt dey helps each other out." "Well, that's the same thing, ain't it?" "No, sah ; it's not de same thing." "What's the difference ?" "The colored man stopped sawing wood and made the following explanations : "Last week when dat norther was a freez ing de marrow in yer bones, I went inter de saloon of a white man what totes dis very same emblem. I was in distress, rale dis tress, as I han't had a drain dat mornin', so I gib him de signal ob distress." "Did he respond ?" "He didn't gib de proper response. De proper response would hab been to hab rub bed his lef' ear wid his right hand, and to hab sot out de bottle." "Then he did not respond correctly ?" "No, sah ; he made a motion at the doah wid one hand, and reached under the bar wid de odder. I made de Odd Fellows' sig nal of distress once moah, and den sumfin hard hit me on de head and knocked me clean out inter de street. It was de bung starter what dat white brudder Odd Fellow had trowed at me in response to the distress signal." "Then the colored Odd Fellows and the White Odd Fellows do not affiliate?" "Jes what I tole yer. They don't fillyate, but. dey helps each odder out. I was helped out inter de street \q^de bung-starter, but fillyate means to set Sfflrde whisky." A Premature Decision. ; A Co|ored odd Fe i low who Desired to [Elberon jGa.) South.] Hearing so much of courts and seeing so S',' tïït" Hon. Seab. while Solicitor-Genera! ■^ieese, used to tell of while Solicitor-General On this judicial circuit. ' The Superior court was in session in one 9 f the lower counties of the circuit, and the solicitor, with the counsel for defense, was engaged in the selection of a jury for the trial of a man charged with murder. As is usual in such cases, some difficulty was experienced in obtaining a jury, and the Court was jyttijllg tired of such tedious pro Cqnrt wai fe; _______the next juror, Mr. Clerk," said the solicitor for the hnndreth time. The clerk jCalled out the man, and an old man with anThonest face and a suit of blue jeans clothes rose up in his place, and the solicitor asked the following customary ques tions : "Have you, from having seen the crime committed, or having heard any of the evi dence delivered under oath, lormed or ex pressed an opinion as to the guilt or inno cense of the prisoner at the bar ?" "No. sir." -'"Is there any bias or prejudice resting on your mind for or against tbe prisoner at the bar ?" •'None, sir." "Is your mind perfectly impartial between g £ te and the accused?" . ,, opposed to capital punish It is. "Are you ment?" "I'm not." "All the questions had been answered and the Court was congratulating itself on hav ing another juror, and the solicitor in solemn tones said : "Juror, look upon the prisoner : prisoner, look upon the juror." "The old man adjusted his spectacles and peeringly gazed at the prisoner for full half * • ..i _____I,« Lia amu fmrarrl« £ mjnute when he turned his eyes towards thg CoQrt and earne stly said : 'Judge, I'll he condemned if I don't be lieve he ; s guilty !" It is useless to add that the Court was con siderably exasperated at having lost a juror, but the more humorously inclined had a good laugh out of the old man's premature candor. __ ^ _____ A Leetle More. One of the stockholders of a new western railroad was a farmer who had accumulated his money by hard toil, and when he had put in an appearance at the meeting to elect a Board of Directors he felt it his duty to re ! "Gentlemen, as I understand this thing ; we e i ec t the board and the board elects the officers > j g ome one sa id he was right, and he con * tinued. 1 -Ä« tÄÄ paying our President a good living salary, ! "«HoVS. do yon call a good living sal j fc ftTpii'iig wages, bnt ! Well, a nay is me gu g "Sere the meeting ^ audit was two or three minutes before the orator had a chance to conclude : "But of course we want a man who can run an engine, switch a train, handle freight, keep hooka, and lick anybody who won't pay fare, sud so I sh£ill not object to two «lnd a half a day."_ Selecting a Wife. Who marries for love takes a wife ; who marries for fortune takes a mistress ; who mairies for position takes a lady. You have a wife for yourself, a mistress lor your house ; and friend, a lady for the world and society. ; Your wife will agree with yon. your mistress will ruin yon, your lady will manage you. ! Your wife will take care of your household, your mistress your house, youi^ lady_ o _p ; pearance. If you are sick ^ wife will nurse you, your mistress will visit yon, j lady will inquire after your health. ! take a walk with your wife, a nde with ! your mistress, and go to a party with your ! lady. Your wife will share your K rief > y^ r mistress your money, your lady your debts. When you die your wife will weep, your mistress will lament and yourtoly wear mourning. W hich will you have. A QUESTION OF GRAMMAR. Tale of a Tenderfoot at Tombstone. [Middleton Manuscript.] A few days ago a flash young man from an eastern college arrived at Tombstone, Ar izona, and registered his name at the princi pal hotel. A socially inclined person in a blue shirt and wide-rimmed hat, who chanc ed to be in the office, good naturedly an swered every question and volunteered a vast amount of interesting information about Arizona in general and Tombstone in particular. "Do you see them hills ?" asked the Tomb stoner, pointing through one of the office windows. "Well, them hills is chuck full of pay dirt." The young man from the east looked shocked. "My dear sir," he said, proudly, but kind ly, "you should say those hills are—not 'them hills is !'" The Tombstoner was silent lor a moment. He looked the young man from the east crit ically over as if he was estimating the size of coffin he would wear. Then drawing out an ivory stocked seven-shooter of eleborate style and finish, he said in a soft, mild, musi cal tone of voice that sounded like a wild wood brook coursing o'er its pebble bed : "My gentle tenderfoot from the land of the rising sun, this here's a pint that you and me disa grees on and we might as well have it set tled right now. I haven't looked in a gram mar lately, but I'm going to stand by that opinion while I've a shot left. I'll give you jest three minutes to think calmly over the subject, for you probably spoke in haste the first time, and then I'll hear your decision." The young man from the east looked down the delicately chased barrel of the revolver and into the placid depth of the eyes of the Tomb stoner and began to feel that many points in grammer are uncertain and liable to grow more so. Then he thought of the coroner's inquest, and of the verdict, "came to his death by standing in front of Colorado Tom's seven-shooter," and of the long pine box going east by express with $69 charges on it, and before half the three minutes was up he was ready to acknowledge his error, "Since he thought it over calmly" he said "he believed that 'them hills is,' is right. He had spoken on the spur of the moment," he added, "and begged a thousand pardons for his presump tuous effort to substitute bad grammar for good." The Tombstoner forgave him freely and, grasping his hand, said : "I know'd you'd say you was wrong after you thought a moment. I admit« a man who gives right in without arguing when he knows he's wrong. Come along and irrigate. ' And they irrigated. Our Method of Destruction. [Radical Review.1 It is evident to almost every deep think ing mind that the present order of things must pass away. The old thought must per ish, and with it the old life. If we are to have a new religion we are to have also a new morality, and if a new morality then a new social fabric. To many this outlook is alarming. A bloody revolution appears and they shrink back with horror. Even if the past is unsatisfactory they dare not welcome the future. This unnecessary dread arises from the impression that the change will be wrought by an appeal to brute force. This has been the method of the past. Ideas have been victorious by the sword. But the method of the future is as differ ent from that of the past as are its ideas and hopes. There will be no appeal to brute force. This is a miserable way to settle any dispute. True liberty dwells in reason ; in that it finds its sovereign. Brute force should be resorted to only as a means ol self-de fence; then it is entirely justifiable, other wise not. Aggressive brute force is the worst enemy of reform. It may kill the ty rant, but it cannot unfold the true life of the race. It is by human reason that the battle is to be won. None will be compelled, even to that which is for one's own good, for thus the deepest good of all is destroyed. Only that is good finally which is freely chosen. The highest good of everything is the free dom wherein it is attained. To force reform at the point of the bayonet is to make void its noblest possibility. There can be no true reform except it flows through the reason of humanity and builds its throne in the light of that reason. This is the transcendent beauty of the new ideals—that they appeal solely to the minds of men. They want no cannon at their hack ; no thunders of artil lery. In moral glory only do they shine. Their insignia is that of the intellectual wealth of the world. The curse of all past efforts even for good has been this constant appeal to arms. It has never settled any question, and it never will. The triumphs of the future must be of the perfect reason. They may come amid the storm of mental conflict, but in the bos om of that storm will rest the sunshine of golden days. The wings of progress are the pinions of the heaven-exalted genius. Away with the sword. Stir the thoughts of men ; keep the tides of reason flowing ; let knowl edge be unshackled. Repulse encroachment if need be, but beyond that let no stroke be made. After self-defence there must he only moral action—the prowess of the intellect of man. __ A Missionary's Eperience. nis is to an ed if us, All the missionaries should not go abroad if there are many such experiences as thi3 in this country. A minister laboring in the mountain districts of West Virginia gives the following conversation he had with a woman there recently : "Is yonr husband at home ?" "No ; he is 'coon hunting. He killed two whopping big 'coons last Sunday. ' "Does he fear the Lord ?" "I guess he does ; 'cause he always takes his gun with him." "Have yon any Presbyterians around here ?" "I don't know if he killed any or not. You can go behind the house and look at the pile of hides to see if you can find any of their skins." "I see that you are living in the dark." "Yes, bnt my husband is goiDg ent out a winder soon." to is A TOMBSTONE JUSTICE. How he Paralyzed the Distinguished Bar of the City. [Stockton Herald.] "When I was practicing down at Tomb stone," said the lawyei, a friend of mine had nis ear chewed off one evening in a dispute with a prominent citizen who dealt faro. After seeing the doctor he came to me, and under my advice he had the prominent citi zen arrested on a charge of mayhem. Next day we had the man up for his preliminary examination. My friend was there with hi3 head bandaged, and so were the prominent citizen and his counsel, and the friends of both parties. The general public—and it's a pretty tough general public in Tombstone— crowded the court-room. The hour went by, but the Justice didn't turn up. The consta ble went out to look for him, but couldn't find him in any of the saloons. We scouted around for half an hour, but nary a sign of the court turned up. Finally General O'Brien, the leader of the Tombstone bar, stuck his head up through a trap-door in the floor and said in his solemn way : "Gentlemen, remove yonr hats, His Honor is here." And he dragged the court up by the collar. You never saw such a long adjourn ment from decency as that ornament of the bench was. He w'as covered with dirt, and even his hair and beard were chock full of sawdust. There was, I remember, a flat tened quid of tobacco on his cheek-bone. We had to hold His Honor under each arm as we led him to the nearest barber shop. A bath and a shampoo brought back some life into him, and he was able walk without help to the courtroom. Once in the chair behind his high desk he looked all right, and we went on with the case. We had taken the testimony of three witnesses to the row and subsequent chewing of my friend's ear in the Excelsior faro parlors, when General O'Brien and Colonel Stephens, l>oth on the other side, jumped up and objected to my questions. It was a law point and we ar gued and quoted authorities for about half an hour. It was a pretty hot set-to, and we were all on our feet when finished and turn ed round to the court for a ruling. He was looking straight before him up above us, as if he was sleepiug with his eyes open. "Your Honor," said the General, after a long pause, 'we are waiting for your ruling." "There was no answer. Then I chipped with : 'Your Honor, will you be good enough to gives us your ruling ?' 'Wash tha'?' he said, trying to bring his eyes to bear upon me. 'We want your ruling.' Court's a'journed,' he said, trying to rise. "We all protested, but his only answer was to strike his desk with his first and cry out again that the court was adjourned. ''Won't you fix the bail of this defendant ?" demanded the General. "Now, shir, said the court, who had got on his feet by this time, and was frowning heavily. 'Turn 'im loose. He'd oughter chawed the head off that tenderfoot, that's what he'd oughter done.' "Well, gentlemen what do you think the court did next ? He just deliberately stag gered over to the trap-door, lifted it, stepped down the stairs until only his head and shoulders were above the floor, and then pausing to glare at the paralyzed crowd of us, growled out : "Yeh can all go to—." "With that he ducked and let the door fall, and I suppose had his sleep out on the dirty floor of the cellar." Causes and Treatment of Fainting. [London Lancet.J Hi Fainting in most of its forms is a purely natural and physiological condition, for which there is a good raison d'etre. Fainting from loss of blood is nature's remedy for the bleeding. The heart's action is lowered ; the blood withdrawn from the lower extremities —where, presumably, the bleeding is going on—into the larger central vessels ; the pa tient lies motionless ; there are no struggles to force the blood out of the wound ; there is no pain felt. In cases of fainting there fore from loss of blood, simply lay the pa tient on the back, a little turned to one side, with the head low, and the wound in a position favorable to the doctor's manipula tion ; loosen all fastenings and buttons about the throat, and then await the arrival of the doctor. Don't try to bring the patient round by deluging him with water. Above all, give him no brandy unless by the doctor's orders, Brandy will end the faintness quick enough, bnt it will start the heart at double quick time, and send the blood surging through the peripheral arteries, breaking down and washing away any protective plugs of clot with which the vis medicatrix has probably begun to close the wounded vessels. In cases of fainting from shock or pain, the patient should be placed in an eas ily recumbent position, with the head low and the throat free ' from pressure. The forehead may then be bathed with cold water, and brandy cautiously administered, or amonia applied to the nostrils. Even Justice. Brooklyn has a Police Justice who dis penses justice and good advice in a manner refreshing to all, perhaps, except the law yers engaged in the controversies. Two young men were brought before him last week, one upon the charge of having threat ened to cut the other's heart out. Each was represented by counsel, who were respect ively prepared to elaborate and defend the heinous crime. Said the Justice, waving the counsel aside," I think I can settle this matter myself." Then he called the boys to him, asked what they meant by quarreling with each other, lectured them a little, and asked one: "Woolridge, do you intend to have the life blood of Sexton ?" "No," said Woolridge. "And will you shake hands with him?" "Yes," was the ready response. "How about you, Sexton ? Will yon shake hands, too?" "Yes," said the boy, smiling. "Then do it," said his Honor, peremp torily. The pair advanced, and shook each other's dexter palm vigorously. "Now," said the Judge, with a hnmorous twinkle in his eyes, "kiss each other." And they did. A Judge who can make litigants "kiss anu make up," should be promoted to a Chief Jnsticeahip.